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- Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
- Kategorie: Ratgeber
- Sprache: Englisch
A roadmap to self-confidence for women in leadership
Bridging the Confidence Gap: How Empowered Women Change the World is a startlingly insightful and inspiring discussion of female leadership by celebrated executive, business leader, and author Sheena Yap Chan.
Yap Chan delivers a transformative and fresh take on the challenges, pitfalls, and opportunities women face when they reach for the reins of leadership in business. She walks you through how to navigate those challenges and realize those opportunities with powerful observations drawn from a lifetime in business.
You'll learn to level-up your career as you discover how to increase your courage and promote yourself, just as you explore the benefits to you, your organization, and society that come from you taking on a leadership role.
You'll also find:
- A formula for women's leadership you can replicate in your own life and job
- Strategies for celebrating your remarkable achievements and supporting others in their own journeys through leadership
- Techniques for overcoming imposter syndrome and the double standards that women face in the workplace
Perfect for managers, executives, board members, entrepreneurs, founders, and other other women in leadership roles, Bridging the Confidence Gap is a must-read for all professionals interested in a female perspective on the challenges and opportunities of leadership for women in business.
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Seitenzahl: 287
Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2025
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Table of Contents
Cover
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Introduction
Notes
1 The Double Standards That Kill Confidence
The Labels Women Face
Negative Stereotypes
Ageism
Appearance
Intelligence
Gender Pay Gap
Gender Gap in Venture Capital
Bro Culture in the Workplace
Role of Men and Women
When Women Are the Problem
Social Status
Sexual Assault
Religion
Cults
Notes
2 Imposter Syndrome: Changing the Narrative for Women
What Is Imposter Syndrome?
The Negative Effects of Imposter Syndrome
Types of Imposter Syndrome and Ways to Overcome Them
Overcoming Your Imposter Syndrome
Notes
3 The Gender Confidence Gap
What Is the Gender Confidence Gap?
Factors That Contribute to the Gender Confidence Gap
Industries Strongly Affected by the Gender Confidence Gap
Notes
4 Courage Before Confidence
Definition of Courage
Acknowledge Your Fear
Positive Self-Talk
Identify Your Strengths
Practice Makes Progress
It's Okay to Fail
Celebrate Your Courageous Acts
It's Okay to Ask for and Receive Help
Notes
5 Why Self-Promotion Empowers Women
Factors Discouraging Women from Self-Promotion
Strategies for Effective Self-Promotion for Women
Notes
6 The Confidence Era
Train Your Brain for Confidence
Visualize Having Confidence
Practice Low-Risk Self-Confidence
Prioritize
You
Start Messy
Trust Your Intuition
Seize the Opportunities That Come Your Way
Notes
7 The Benefits of More Women in Leadership
Notable Women Leaders in History
More Women Are Needed in Leadership
Notes
8 Ready, Fire, Aim: The Formula for Women's Leadership
Be Unconventional
Realize Your Potential
Shoot Your Shot
Take that Second Chance
Create a New Normal
Make the Impossible Possible
Understand that a Little Embarrassment or Failure Won't Kill You, but Giving Up Will
Remember That You Gotta Have Grit
Take a Chance on Yourself
Keep Showing Up
The Future of Women's Leadership
Note
Conclusion
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Index
End User License Agreement
Guide
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Introduction
Table of Contents
Begin Reading
Conclusion
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Index
End User License Agreement
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Bridging the Confidence Gap
HOW EMPOWERED WOMEN CHANGE THE WORLD
SHEENA YAP CHAN
Wall Street Journal Bestselling Author
Copyright © 2025 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc. All rights reserved, including rights for text and data mining and training of artificial technologies or similar technologies
Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.Published simultaneously in Canada.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, (978) 750-8400, fax (978) 750-4470, or on the web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748-6011, fax (201) 748-6008, or online at http://www.wiley.com/go/permission.
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Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Further, readers should be aware that websites listed in this work may have changed or disappeared between when this work was written and when it is read. Neither the publisher nor authors shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages.
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is Available:
ISBN: 978-1-394-25761-4 (cloth)ISBN: 978-1-394-25762-1 (ePub)ISBN: 978-1-394-25763-8 (ePDF)
Cover Design: Paul McCarthy
This book is dedicated to the queen in you who has lost her way.Here's a reminder of your greatness.
You're a Queen.
Until you embrace your inner majesty, it's entirely possible that you have been settling for a life of a lesser title and nobility.
If you've forgotten your radiance…
It's time for you to rise.
It's time for you to awaken your native majesty.
It's time to see yourself in a whole new light with your crown shining bright.
Introduction: The State of Women's Leadership and Confidence
“Are you ready to level up this year, or are you okay with all the mediocrity that you have currently?”
THIS POWERFUL QUESTION, posed by my friend and renowned “coach of coaches” Mark Anthony Bates, sparked a journey that led to the creation of this book and the revolutionary Queen Maker and Tao Queens programs. As an Asian woman who has navigated the complex landscape of personal and professional growth, I understand the unique challenges we face. But this book isn't just for Asian women—it's for every woman ready to break through barriers and claim her rightful place as a leader.
When he asked me this question, I was actually scared to say I was ready to level up because part of me still felt like I wasn't ready. Part of me still felt like I needed to hide because I thought there were women out there who did a far better job than me.
On the surface level, it may look like I have accomplished so much in life and I am grateful for every single accomplishment that I have achieved. I don't take my achievements lightly because it takes a lot of courage to do what I do, especially when I come from a culture where I was told to stay in the background and never make any noise.
To be honest, I am still scared to take it to the next level because I am not sure if I can handle it when I do get to the top. Success can be so frightening at times and for years I held myself back because of this fear. I also realize that if I continue to fear success, the real positive changes that I want to see for women will not come to fruition. And this is why I emphatically replied, “I am ready to level up!”
I knew why my friend asked me this specific question. It was because he's known me long enough to know that I was ready to level up in ways I never thought possible. If you have ever been afraid of success, you are not the only one. This is something that most women do not talk about. But it's necessary to talk about because, as women, we deserve all the success in the world.
When I was offered the opportunity to write a second book, I wasn't too sure if I was going to accept it. I mean, I already wrote one book, so why do I need to write another? Then the same question came back to me again, and I had to remind myself that I am being given this opportunity for a reason. I had to grab the opportunity to write this book because it is so needed. As of now, women are still facing huge gaps in all areas of life compared to men, and we need to figure out how women can overcome this, or learn how to turn these gaps into opportunities.
Truth is, I have still been playing small up until now. I know there is still so much in me that I can do to create a better tomorrow for so many women out there because it is needed. Even though in 2025, women still face so many gaps, which is why I decided to level up and write this book.
You decided to pick up this book because you are tired of living with mediocrity. You also want to level up in your career and life, but it can be challenging when you don't have the right support system. I totally get it! When you try to do things on your own, it can be scary to the point where you resist even trying. This is one of the reasons there are fewer women in leadership roles.
Now is the time to change all that, and it starts with how you perceive yourself. This book will be a guide for you in your journey to create more courage and confidence for yourself. It is packed with information that you can use to apply into your own life. You will understand why, as a woman, so much holds you back from your greatness. When you can learn to unpack all the things that are holding you back, you can start to find ways to solve it so that you can show up as your best self.
One of the main reasons I decided to say yes to writing this book was because of a report that I saw during the COVID-19 pandemic. The World Economic Forum indicated that while the gender gap is back to 2019 levels, the earliest that women will achieve gender parity is in 2154.1 That's just under 130 years from now. We won't see it, our daughters won't see it, and even our granddaughters won't see gender parity.
Here are some other facts about what women are currently going through globally, from World Bank blogs:2
One in three women worldwide experience physical or sexual violence by an intimate partner or sexual violence by a non-partner over the course of their life.
The global gender gap in employment has been nearly stagnant for the past three decades.
Women spend more time on unpaid domestic and care work.
Over the last 25 years, women's participation in national parliaments has increased but is far from reaching equality.
This is terrible. As a woman, I do not want to wait that long to achieve gender parity. It is the mid-2020s and yet there are still so many things that need to be fixed. This is why it is crucial for women from all walks of life to see their potential, so we can speed up the number of years until gender parity will be achieved.
And yes, to undertake a task like this is daunting, but if you and I don't tackle this problem, who else will do it? I always believe that if I want things to change, it has to start with me. This is why writing this book is a necessity. It will serve as a guide for you to unpack all the things you have been going through in order to find solutions to build your courage and confidence to be the woman leader you are meant to be.
The best part is that you are not alone in this journey. I also have to level up and show up so that I can help current and future generations of women see that they are capable too. And you'll learn about the Queen Maker and Tao Queens programs, designed to provide ongoing support, resources, and a community of like-minded women committed to growth and success (more on that in the Chapter 8).
In this book, I will share many eye-opening statistics that you may be unaware of. We'll explore the double standards women face (Chapter 1), examine how imposter syndrome affects so many women—myself included (Chapter 2), take a deep dive on the gender confidence gap (Chapter 3), look at ways to develop courage (Chapter 4), see why self-promotion empowers women (Chapter 5), survey the confidence era (Chapter 6), study the benefits of having more women in leadership (Chapter 7), and—ready, fire aim—learn the formula for women's leadership (Chapter 8).
Some of the topics and stats you'll read will be uncomfortable because when one woman suffers, every woman suffers. So I want to prepare you in case the topics sometimes feel like too much, but they are important to touch on and are rarely discussed in mainstream media. Even writing about them was uncomfortable for me at times, but I know it's important to include the issues women all over the globe are facing in the present moment.
Too often women have not been seen as “leadership material” due to the simple fact of being a woman. This is why I work 100 times harder to show up and help other women see what is possible for themselves.
It's unfortunate that women are still fighting for progress and even sometimes fighting for the basic needs to live their life. It truly breaks my heart to know that girls and women in Afghanistan cannot even go to school or get a job, and that little girls in Asia are being trafficked into prostitution and slavery.
This is not what I want for women. I want better for us, and this is why I said yes to writing another book. This is just not about me; this is for every single woman who is feeling invisible or voiceless. Through this book, I want to show them that they can emerge from any situation they may be facing at this moment and thrive.
So I will ask you the same question that Mark Anthony Bates asked me not too long ago:
“Are you ready to level up this year, or are you okay with all the mediocrity that you have currently?”
Let's get started on leveling up your own journey.
Notes
1
. World Economic Forum, “Global Gender Gap Report 2023,” n.d.,
https://www.weforum.org/publications/global-gender-gap-report-2023/infographics-66115127a8
.
2
. Anna Tabitha Bonfert and Divyanshi Wadhwa, “International Women's Day 2024: Five Insightful Charts on Gender (in)Equality Around the World,” World Bank Blogs (blog), March 16, 2024,
https://blogs.worldbank.org/en/opendata/international-womens-day-2024-five-insightful-charts-gender-inequality-around-world
.
1The Double Standards That Kill Confidence
AS A WOMAN, you face many challenges. Most of them can be a big confidence killer, such as the double standards you face on a daily basis. You might not even be aware that this is keeping you stuck at the position you're in right now, or holding you back from becoming the woman you are meant to be.
So what do we really mean by “double standard”? Here's a definition from Bored Panda:1
The double standard definition states that it is a rule or a principle applied to different people or groups. The most prominent case of double standard examples to this day come from gender equality. What's usually okay for men, is not acceptable when done by women.
These double standards can make it challenging to be a woman because no matter what you do, it's a lose-lose situation. An excellent summation of this idea is American Ferrera's monologue in the Barbie movie:2
It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we're always doing it wrong.
You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass. You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean. You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas. You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman but also always be looking out for other people.
You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining. You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood.
But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful.
You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It's too hard! It's too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.
I'm just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don't even know.
Have you ever felt this way as a woman? You are not alone. So many women deal with this but no one ever talks about it. It's important to understand this because we face so many confidence issues with all these double standards.
The Labels Women Face
Words are powerful. They can either make or break a person. How many times have labels hurt your confidence to move forward? When a woman forges her own path, it tends to be seen in a negative light instead of a positive one.
You may have heard these ideas before:
Men are
assertive
, but women are
aggressive.
Women are too
pushy
, while men are
ambitious.
Men are
passionate
, but women are
shrill
or
hysterical.
Women are
stubborn
, while men are
determined.
Men are
persistent
, but women are
nagging.
Women are
bossy
, while men are simply
“the boss.”
When a woman takes action on her path to greatness, it tends to be seen as pushy, aggressive, or too much, but a man who takes the same action is celebrated for it and is seen as confident. Labels can prevent a woman from moving forward. It's important to get rid of the negative labels so that women can be seen as confident and courageous instead of aggressive and bossy.
When a woman speaks up against injustice, she is considered whiny and complaining. When a man speaks up, he is taken seriously. I have often seen women labeled complainers for speaking out, myself included. In an Instagram reel where I talked about the issues Asian women face, a list of hate comments told me that I was complaining about my issues and that I needed to shut my mouth. To be honest, I started getting PTSD when I got comment notifications on Instagram. I had to learn to work through this and know that this is part of the journey when you speak up as a woman.
Yes, it will take some time and effort for these negative labels to be dismantled but it's important to start somewhere. Nothing changes if nothing changes. This is why I constantly show up to events and on social media. Sometimes it just takes one person to lead the way so that others can see what is possible for themselves. Yes, it is scary. I still get scared but I also realized that if I want things to change for the better, then I have to be the change. I will continue to show up so that one day these negatives labels for women will be gone for good.
Negative Stereotypes
As a woman, you will face negative stereotypes that can hurt your confidence. Culture plays a huge role in forming stereotypes, and women from every culture face some form of negative stereotype. I realized that when I was looking for candidates to be a co-author for our Women Who BossUp book series. I have spoken to many women from all walks of life and realized that although I may come from a different culture, I still face similar situations for the sole reason that I am a woman.
While women from different cultures are each subjected to their own set of negative stereotypes, the outcome is similar. It is hurtful and it causes more harm for women, ranging from sexual violence to death. These negative stereotypes can also hurt a woman's confidence to move forward on her path. It is important to dismantle all of these stereotypes so that we can create better representation for women from all walks of life.
Following are some examples of the negative stereotypes that women from different cultures still face today.
Asian Women
Asian women have been consistently seen as quiet, submissive, and obedient. Because of this negative stereotype, they are rarely found in leadership roles. Also, Asian women are usually seen as sex objects, which leads to women being trafficked as sex slaves, and little girls being forced to marry men as old as their grandfather or sold as mail order brides. These stereotypes are definitely hurtful, and it is important to dismantle them so Asian women can be seen as leaders in their own right.
Latina Women
Latina women are often considered feisty and spicy. Because of this negative stereotype, Latina women are often seen as sex objects and not taken seriously in leadership roles. The “spicy Latina” stereotype can also lead to sexual violence and harassment. It is important to stop using this term because it does so much harm to Latina women.
Black Women
Black women have stereotypically been seen as the “angry Black woman,” especially in the workplace. This means that Black women are often perceived as short-tempered, bitter, overbearing, aggressive, loud, and more, which hurts them from being promoted in the workplace.
Indigenous Women
Indigenous women are often seen as sexual objects and as promiscuous. This negative stereotype can lead to sexual violence against Indigenous women and even to murder. An article in the Guardian detailed the violence that Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander women have experienced:3
They are more than three times more likely to experience violence than non-Indigenous women.
They are 11 times more likely to die from an assault.
They are 32 times more likely to be hospitalized from injuries received during an assault.
Middle Eastern Women
Middle Eastern women are often oppressed, viewed as weak and needing financial support from men. Many Middle Eastern countries have strict rules for women; in Iran, for example, there was a time when women were not allowed to drive cars. It is important to dismantle these negative stereotypes so that Middle Eastern women can be seen as strong and independent and capable of being leaders in their own right.
Ageism
If you're a woman in your 40s, 50s, 60s, and beyond, you have been told that you have hit a certain expiration date to do many things in life. Women certainly have been let go from jobs due to age.
In Canada, an anchor by the name of Lisa LaFlamme was considered one of the most popular female news anchors in the country. When she decided to let her gray hair grow out, Bell Media fired her, and then had to do a lot of damage control due to the backlash.4 There were older male news anchors with gray hair in the same studio who have been there for years and had not been fired for that reason.
Ageism is definitely something women face. But the idea that women “expire” after a certain age is a myth and must be called out as one. So many women have been able to start or change careers in their 40s, 50s, 60s, and beyond.
I am in my 40s and everything I truly achieved was in this age bracket: I wrote my first book with a major publisher, traveled to Europe for the first time, and started my speaking career in my 40s.
There are women out there who have started businesses in their 50s and 60s and succeeded. Older women are ditching the hair dyes and embracing their gray hair to showcase that aging is beautiful. There was even a woman who made her Olympics debut at the 2024 Summer Games in Paris at the age of 58, which is just inspiring to see.
And the woman who's proven to the world that you can thrive at any age is the oldest tattoo artist, a woman from the Philippines by the name of Apo Whang-Od. In April 2023, she was Vogue's oldest cover model when Vogue Philippines shared her story. The cover got worldwide recognition for capturing her true beauty and strength at the age of 106. I actually shared her cover on LinkedIn, and it has received over 29,000 likes from around the world.
The cover is beautiful. It captures the beauty of her wrinkles and her authentic self. It's rare for a fashion magazine like Vogue to showcase a woman like Apo Whang-Od. Fashion magazines usually showcase young models on the front cover, so seeing Apo Whang-Od was a breath of fresh air that opened the doors to highlighting more older women on the front cover of a magazine. In that same year, Martha Stewart was on the cover of Sports Illustrated rocking a bathing suit. Seeing these women thrive at their age is proof that age ain't nothing but a number.
Appearance
When it comes to appearance, women have to show up a certain way in order to be taken seriously. Most of the time men do not have to worry about that. A man can look like a hippie or wear a Hawaiian shirt and still be able to get funding for their startup company. If a woman decides to roll up in a Hawaiian shirt to seek funding, she would be denied instantly.
The ageism women experience extends to looking too you. Young-looking women won't be taken seriously in the workplace. I remember interviewing a young woman on my podcast who mentioned that she had to lie at her workplace about being older than she actually was so her co-workers would listen to her suggestions during meetings.
Women also are constantly judged for their appearance, whether business or personal. When it comes to weddings or other fancy occasions, it's not considered fashionably acceptable if a woman wears the same dress to more than one party; meanwhile, a man can wear the same suit over and over again without any judgment.
It also doesn't help that the media expects women to be perfect in every way, shape, and form, which is unattainable, and leads to low self-esteem and self-worth. Women definitely feel it more than men, in fact girls start feeling low self-confidence as early as nine years old due to body image issues.5
It's important to remember that you are beautiful just the way you are and that you are perfectly imperfect. Showing up as our authentic selves, especially on social media, is necessary so that our future generations will not start feeling low self-confidence at such a young age. Evidence suggests that women and girls feel self-conscious about how they look due to the media. A report from Gitnux mentioned the following:6
Almost 94% of teenage girls are body shamed, per the National Report on Self-Esteem.
54% of women are dissatisfied with their bodies.
80% feel TV and movie images breed insecurities.
Over half of girls and a third of boys aged six to eight want to be thinner.
Around 50% of girls aged 13–17 are bullied due to appearance.
88% of teen girls compare themselves to media images; 40% of them do so frequently.
59% of adult women report self-esteem impact; 47% link body shaming to eating disorders.
These stats are pretty eye-opening about how many women and girls deal with low self-confidence. And if you are a female of a certain size, you are ridiculed and called names, which leads to eating disorders. Meanwhile, if a man has a “dad bod,” he is celebrated for it and is considered attractive by society.
Colorism is also another factor that women face. If you have a darker complexion, you are seen as ugly. To be beautiful is to have lighter skin—an attitude prevalent all over the world. The whitening products business, which preys on women's insecurities and is already a multibillion-dollar industry, is predicted to reach over $16 billion by the year 2030, according to a Yahoo Finance article.7
This is why it's important to highlight that every woman is beautiful in her own skin, regardless of the color. Chelsea Manalo showcased this when she became the first Black Filipina to win the title of Miss Universe Philippines.8 As someone who was born in the Philippines, I consider this a very big deal, because the country has conditioned women to believe that in order to be beautiful, you need to have pearly white skin. Whitening products are everywhere in the Philippines, from billboards along the big highways to celebrity endorsements. Seeing Chelsea win is a step in the right direction to showcase that having darker skin is beautiful as well.
It's wild how much women have to deal with when it comes to appearance. We get so much backlash for every single flaw. No wonder we deal with so many confidence issues.
Intelligence
Men tend to underestimate women's IQ. In the workplace, women's ideas often aren't taken seriously simply because they come from a woman. Even though there is no such thing as the smarter sex, women tend to be more modest while men tend to be more confident. In other words, men are not more intelligent than women; they are simply more confident in their abilities and therefore more likely to just go out and make it happen.
Something that always bothers me is that Hollywood actresses are often asked demeaning questions when discussing a certain character they are playing for a movie. Scarlett Johansson, a top performer in the industry, gets asked some of the silliest and most sexist questions about her movie roles. In a 2012 interview, when she and Robert Downey Jr. were promoting The Avengers, the interviewer asked Downey how he was able to shift his attitude for the movie. Johansson, meanwhile, was asked about her diet and how she was able to fit into the Black Widow suit.9 If Johansson is getting these silly questions on a constant basis, imagine what actresses of color have to go through.
Another actress who was asked a ridiculous question is Youn Yuh-jung, a famous South Korean actress who gained popularity in Hollywood when she played the grandmother in the 2021 movie Minari. Youn won multiple awards for the film and even snagged an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress. After winning the Oscar, you might think that reporters would have better questions to ask her but unfortunately it was the total opposite. A female reporter actually asked Youn, “What does Brad Pitt smell like?”
Good thing Youn knows how to put reporters in their place. Her response? “I didn't smell him. I'm not a dog.”
I laughed when I heard her answer, and then started cheering her on because men do not get silly questions like this. It's a slap in the face for Youn to be asked such a question and it's even worse that a woman asked it. Just because she is from Korea doesn't mean she is not capable of answering intelligent questions. This woman is a phenomenal actress and can speak English fluently, yet she is treated like she is stupid.10
