16,99 €
Mehr erfahren.
- Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
- Kategorie: Ratgeber
- Sprache: Englisch
Your essential guide to beating burnout and finding fulfillment Chronic, unmanaged stress--at work, at home, or in other areas of life--can lead to burnout. Burnout For Dummies shows you the way toward understanding and overcoming this all-to-common condition of modern life. Many of us find ourselves living in a state of constant resignation, which sucks the joy out of life and can be detrimental to our physical health. The tips and exercises in this book can help you minimize stress, become more resilient and create a happier, healthier, and more satisfying life. Mindfulness and resilience guru Dr. Eva Selhub offers a science-based plan that you can use to destress, build inner resources and coping skills, and start enjoying life (and work) again. * Listen to guided meditations that you can do anytime, anywhere to help cultivate mindfulness and manage your stress * Discover tips for reconnecting to the joy that you felt before burnout took over * Overcome the heavy burden of burnout and learn how you can find a pace for your life that feeds, rather than depletes you * Find true fulfillment in your work and obligations with proven techniques for loving yourself and your life Burnout For Dummies is the essential guide for anyone feeling overwhelmed, overworked, stressed out, run-down, and ready to make a change.
Sie lesen das E-Book in den Legimi-Apps auf:
Seitenzahl: 615
Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2022
Ähnliche
Burnout For Dummies®
Published by: John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030-5774, www.wiley.com
Copyright © 2023 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey
Published simultaneously in Canada
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning or otherwise, except as permitted under Sections 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without the prior written permission of the Publisher. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748-6011, fax (201) 748-6008, or online at http://www.wiley.com/go/permissions.
Trademarks: Wiley, For Dummies, the Dummies Man logo, Dummies.com, Making Everything Easier, and related trade dress are trademarks or registered trademarks of John Wiley & Sons, Inc., and may not be used without written permission. All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners. John Wiley & Sons, Inc., is not associated with any product or vendor mentioned in this book.
LIMIT OF LIABILITY/DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTY: WHILE THE PUBLISHER AND AUTHORS HAVE USED THEIR BEST EFFORTS IN PREPARING THIS WORK, THEY MAKE NO REPRESENTATIONS OR WARRANTIES WITH RESPECT TO THE ACCURACY OR COMPLETENESS OF THE CONTENTS OF THIS WORK AND SPECIFICALLY DISCLAIM ALL WARRANTIES, INCLUDING WITHOUT LIMITATION ANY IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. NO WARRANTY MAY BE CREATED OR EXTENDED BY SALES REPRESENTATIVES, WRITTEN SALES MATERIALS OR PROMOTIONAL STATEMENTS FOR THIS WORK. THE FACT THAT AN ORGANIZATION, WEBSITE, OR PRODUCT IS REFERRED TO IN THIS WORK AS A CITATION AND/OR POTENTIAL SOURCE OF FURTHER INFORMATION DOES NOT MEAN THAT THE PUBLISHER AND AUTHORS ENDORSE THE INFORMATION OR SERVICES THE ORGANIZATION, WEBSITE, OR PRODUCT MAY PROVIDE OR RECOMMENDATIONS IT MAY MAKE. THIS WORK IS SOLD WITH THE UNDERSTANDING THAT THE PUBLISHER IS NOT ENGAGED IN RENDERING PROFESSIONAL SERVICES. THE ADVICE AND STRATEGIES CONTAINED HEREIN MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR YOUR SITUATION. YOU SHOULD CONSULT WITH A SPECIALIST WHERE APPROPRIATE. FURTHER, READERS SHOULD BE AWARE THAT WEBSITES LISTED IN THIS WORK MAY HAVE CHANGED OR DISAPPEARED BETWEEN WHEN THIS WORK WAS WRITTEN AND WHEN IT IS READ. NEITHER THE PUBLISHER NOR AUTHORS SHALL BE LIABLE FOR ANY LOSS OF PROFIT OR ANY OTHER COMMERCIAL DAMAGES, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO SPECIAL, INCIDENTAL, CONSEQUENTIAL, OR OTHER DAMAGES.
For general information on our other products and services, please contact our Customer Care Department within the U.S. at 877-762-2974, outside the U.S. at 317-572-3993, or fax 317-572-4002. For technical support, please visit https://hub.wiley.com/community/support/dummies.
Wiley publishes in a variety of print and electronic formats and by print-on-demand. Some material included with standard print versions of this book may not be included in e-books or in print-on-demand. If this book refers to media such as a CD or DVD that is not included in the version you purchased, you may download this material at http://booksupport.wiley.com. For more information about Wiley products, visit www.wiley.com.
Library of Congress Control Number: 2022947348
ISBN 978-1-119-89493-3 (pbk); ISBN 978-1-119-89494-0 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-119-89495-7 (ebk)
Burnout For Dummies®
To view this book's Cheat Sheet, simply go to www.dummies.com and search for “Burnout For Dummies Cheat Sheet” in the Search box.
Table of Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Introduction
About This Book
Foolish Assumptions
Icons Used in This Book
Beyond the Book
Where to Go from Here
Part 1: Turning the Tide on the Burnout Epidemic
Chapter 1: So You Think You’re Burned Out
What Exactly
Is
Burnout?
Looking for the Signs of Burnout
The Several “Flavors” of Burnout
Checking Your Burnout Level
Chapter 2: Exploring the Scope and Impact of Burnout
Burnout Feels Lonely, But You Are Far from Alone
How Burnout Affects the Individual
The Impact of Burnout on Organizations
The Wisdom of Paying Attention to Burnout
Chapter 3: Getting Ready to Tackle Burnout
Burnout Is Not the “New Normal”
Responding to Burnout Rather Than Reacting to Suffering
What Taking Action May Look Like at First
Part 2: Sorting Out the Sources of Burnout
Chapter 4: What Caused Your Burnout?
The Multiple Sources of Burnout
Context Is King: Systems Can Create Burnout
Explaining Burnout with the Four Factor Model
Chapter 5: Examining Your Relationship with Burnout
Shifting Away from Shame to Opportunity
Digging In to How You Got to Burnout
Stepping Back to Self-Assess
Taking the Next Steps
Compiling the Data and Prioritizing
Taking Baby Steps with Self-Care
Chapter 6: Deciding Whether You and Your Job Are a Good Fit
Do You and Your Job Have Good Chemistry?
Assessing Your Career
Establishing Core Values as a Guiding Compass
The Job Doesn’t Fit, So What Now?
Chapter 7: When Caring Is Your Job: Dealing with Compassion Fatigue
The Unique Challenge of Burnout in Healthcare
It’s Not You; It’s a Flawed System
Cultivating a Vision of Care that Includes You
Being Willing to Accept Help
Part 3: Building Essential Resources for Navigating Burnout
Chapter 8: Building a Foundation of Awareness with Mindfulness
Awakening Your Senses to the Reality of Burnout
Minding Your Physical, Mental, and Emotional Self
Reacting versus Responding: Mindfulness in Action
Building Your Mindfulness Platform
Chapter 9: Being Kind … to Yourself
Treating Yourself as You Treat a Good Friend
Facing the Challenges of Self-Compassion
Meeting the Suffering of Burnout with Loving Kindness
Pocket Practices to Get Started with Self-Compassion
Chapter 10: Cultivating a Safe and Brave Inner Space for Change
Finding the Will and Way for Change
Making Change and Listening to Your Voice of Compassion
Chapter 11: Cultivating the Infrastructure That Supports Your Life Force
Your Body (and Mind) Are Brilliant!
Connecting with Your Life Force to Find Ease
Minding Your Nutrition
Why You Want to Get Your Move On
Taking Time for Recovery
Allowing Time for Connection and Belonging
Chapter 12: Establishing High-Quality Connections
Connection as the Foundation for Healing, Growing, and Thriving
Managing Difficult Relationships
Mending Your Relationship with Yourself
Part 4: Beyond Burnout and Toward Resilience: Flourishing and Thriving
Chapter 13: Charting the Course from Burnout to Resilience
Setting the Stage for Resilience
Going Inside to Find What Makes You Tick
Charting a Custom Course of Action
Chapter 14: Creating Conditions for You to Flourish
What It Means to Truly Flourish
Building Your Recipe for Flourishing
How Do You Know If You Are Flourishing?
Chapter 15: Building a Culture of Care and Flourishing
What Is a Culture of Care?
Setting the Example for Caring
Unlocking Resources from Within
Creating a Conspiracy of Goodness to Support Flourishing
Part 5: The Part of Tens
Chapter 16: Ten Ways to Use Your Body to Ease Your Mind
Enhancing Physical Activity
Breathing with Alternate Nostrils
Mindfully Being in Motion
Stretching and Twisting into Peace
Smiling to Your Body
Posing in Child’s Pose
Centering and Grounding
Digging in the Dirt
Relaxing Your Muscles Progressively
Dancing, with or without Abandon
Chapter 17: Ten Tips to Foster Flourishing at Work
Starting the Day with “Me Time”
Taking Time Off to Unplug
Developing Your Strengths
Enlivening Curiosity
Strengthening Your Team of Support
Getting Organized
Bringing Mindfulness into Your Work
Embracing Failures as Opportunities
Outsmarting Negative Bias
Thinking with Your Whole Brain
Index
About the Author
Advertisement Page
Connect with Dummies
End User License Agreement
List of Tables
Chapter 4
TABLE 4-1 The Four Factor Model and You
Chapter 15
TABLE 15-1 Virtues Word List
Guide
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Table of Contents
Begin Reading
Index
About the Author
Pages
iii
iv
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
50
51
52
53
54
55
56
57
58
59
60
61
63
64
65
66
67
68
69
70
71
72
73
74
75
76
77
78
79
80
81
82
83
84
85
86
87
88
89
90
91
92
93
94
95
96
97
98
99
100
101
102
103
104
105
106
107
108
109
110
111
112
113
114
115
116
117
118
119
120
121
122
123
124
125
126
127
128
129
130
131
132
133
134
135
136
137
138
139
140
141
142
143
144
145
146
147
148
149
150
151
152
153
154
155
157
158
159
160
161
162
163
164
165
166
167
168
169
170
171
172
173
174
175
176
177
178
179
180
181
182
183
184
185
186
187
188
189
190
191
192
193
194
195
196
197
198
199
200
201
202
203
204
205
206
207
208
209
210
211
212
213
215
216
217
218
219
220
221
222
223
224
225
226
227
228
229
230
231
232
233
234
235
236
237
238
239
240
241
242
243
244
245
246
247
248
249
250
251
252
253
254
255
256
257
258
259
260
261
262
263
264
265
266
267
268
269
270
271
272
273
274
275
276
277
278
279
280
281
282
283
284
285
286
287
288
289
290
291
293
294
295
296
297
298
299
301
302
303
304
305
306
307
308
309
310
311
312
313
315
316
317
318
Introduction
If you are feeling burned out, depressed, unmotivated, without purpose or passion, or unproductive at work or at home, you are not alone. Burnout is everywhere and has become especially prevalent since the COVID-19 pandemic, though it was a widespread problem even prior. Whether you are taxed from being overworked, undersupported, or a full-time caregiver or overwhelmed by never-ending responsibilities, the causes and reasons that have led you to burnout are varied, complex, and very real indeed.
In lieu of ongoing uncertainty coming in the form of pandemics, school shootings, job demands, loss of loved ones, illness, or economic instability, it is not surprising that burnout is so prevalent. The question is, does burnout need to happen to so many people? Can it be healed, and better yet, can burnout be prevented?
It’s important to remember that you are innately wired to adapt to difficulty and you do have the tools within you to heal. In each and every one of us, there exists a strong and resilient person who can overcome adversity and burnout. The key is to be able to tap into this wiring, this part of you that wants to thrive and live fully, so that you can set the course to flourishing, freedom, and fulfillment. This may not sound possible from your vantage point now, given that you feel exhausted and spent. But know that it is possible.
Your path is unique to you, and this book is intended to help readers embark on their personal journey to discovering their way through healing burnout. You find out what burnout is, the factors involved that get you there, how to identify the role you may have played, the importance of mindful compassion when it comes to healing, and the various other strategies that can help you get out of burnout and back to feeling resilient and flourishing. Hopefully, this book will provide you with wisdom and guidance, helping you uncover more closely who you are, your tendencies, your wants, the job that is right for you, and ways to treat yourself with love and compassion so that you can find your way to enjoying a meaningful and fulfilling life.
About This Book
I just got off a call with a dear friend who I was advising on how to avoid burnout when I received a call from the publishing house asking if I would be willing to write Burnout For Dummies. It seemed like it was meant to be, and indeed I was excited to have the opportunity to share my experiences and knowledge with others who could benefit from it.
I have been helping people with burnout for over 25 years, whether they have come to my clinical practice or I work with them currently in my coaching practice. What I have learned is that though no two individuals have the same journey, there are many universal factors that do apply to everybody. This book covers the variety of factors that can lead to burnout, ways in which you can recognize the signs and symptoms, how to examine your job and identify whether it’s the right fit for you, how to enhance compassion toward yourself, and how to build a slew of skills and tools to help you through and out of burnout. Burnout For Dummies offers insight, easy-to-follow instructions, practical tips, time-honored wisdom, and do-it-yourself exercises that enable you to embody the knowledge so that it becomes reality.
Hopefully, you will find the information in this book to be practical, loving, and applicable to your work and life. Explore the book and feel free to read the chapters that appeal to you or read from cover to cover. Experiment with the exercises and take time to reflect. Read it once or several times. Bring the words into practice as you see fit. You may want to read some of the exercises and record yourself so that you can listen as you keep your eyes closed and mindfully follow the practices. Be sure to listen to the recordings that are offered and check out the cheat sheet. You didn’t get to burnout overnight, so the healing process is therefore a journey of discovery, one that hopefully, this book can serve as a guide for.
Foolish Assumptions
When writing this book, I made the assumption that the majority of people with burnout have medical complaints, seeing as how many of the people I have helped had been my patients. The truth is that burnout can happen to anyone with or without medical issues, and the key is to catch the warning signs before physical or psychological problems arise or get worse. I may have foolishly assumed also that you don’t want to struggle more than you already are, and that you want to learn how to find ways to thrive instead of dive. Perhaps you are tired and don’t have the energy to do it, but I believe that you can, foolishly or not. I believe there is a rich and strong part within you that is eager to read to learn, discover, and do what it takes to move through and out of burnout to find fulfillment and joy. I have not foolishly assumed that this book has all of the answers to burnout. Do know that. Foolish or not, though, I do believe this book will help.
Icons Used in This Book
Throughout this book, I use icons to draw your attention to particular kinds of information, exercises, or opportunities to reflect. Here’s what they mean:
This icon alerts you to important insights, clarifications, or ways to do things better.
I use this icon whenever I want your attention. Please read the text associated with it for important information.
This icon lets you know that the exercise you're reading can be found online as an audio track. See the next section for more details.
Beyond the Book
In addition to the material in this printed book, go to www.dummies.com to find a Cheat Sheet with tips that will serve as reminders or quick-access information. Simply type “Burnout For Dummies Cheat Sheet” in the search box on Dummies.com.
But wait! There's more: You can download a dozen audio tracks of some of the best exercises from the book, which are flagged with the Play icon. To access these audio tracks, go to www.dummies.com/go/burnoutfd.
Where to Go from Here
The book is designed in such a way so that you don’t have to read the book from cover to cover. Rather, you can open the book to the chapter you’re interested in. You get to decide how and what you want to learn. Of course, if you want to understand the basis of burnout and use it as the foundation from which you jump off and learn everything else, go in chronological order and build the knowledge you need as you go along.
Take your pick, enjoy the read, and feel free to let me know how your journey goes at www.drselhub.com!
Part 1
Turning the Tide on the Burnout Epidemic
IN THIS PART …
Get an overview of what constitutes burnout to help guide you on your journey.
Take a quiz to evaluate if and how you are burned out.
Find out about the scope of burnout, who it is affecting, and why.
Appreciate the impact burnout has on society, families, relationships, and health.
Chapter 1
So You Think You’re Burned Out
IN THIS CHAPTER
Discovering the signs of burnout
Identifying the various “flavors” that burnout may have
Checking your burnout level
Chances are, whether you have purchased this book or just picked it up to have a look, you are already thinking that you, or someone you care about, is experiencing burnout and you are hoping there is a way out. The good news is there is a way, but it isn’t so much an out as a through, back to the part of you that is full of life, joy, and vitality.
Know that there is no quick fix to burnout. Perhaps you’re thinking you are too tired or exhausted to even read through this book. But ask yourself this: Who noticed that you were feeling uneasy or tired? Who picked up the book wanting to feel better? Some part of you has become aware that you are tired, lacking motivation, feeling disconnected or irritated, and so forth. Some part of you believes you don’t have to feel this way. It’s this very part of you that isn’t burned out!
There is a part of you that has raised the alarm and essentially nudged you; a little voice inside you that said, “this isn’t right” or “you shouldn’t have to feel this way” and then motivated you to take action.
Guess what? This part of you, whether big or small, is the part of you that is not burned out and the part of you that this book will connect with and help flourish, similar to the way you might pull weeds from around a beautiful flower so that it can feel the light and grow to its full potential. You have arrived at this point in time with everything you need to live a full and thriving life free of burnout because you have the capacity to notice the current conditions and to respond to them with kindness, warmth, and a sense of purpose. You will discover in these pages how you came to be in this place; how you can navigate more effectively through and beyond it; how you can prevent ending up here again; and even more importantly, how to find a deeply satisfying and meaningful way of being in your work and in your life. Sound okay to you? Great! Time to get started.
What Exactly Is Burnout?
If you’re like me, your first instinct when authors start talking about defining terms (aside from noticing your eyes glazing over) may be to skip ahead to the “good stuff.” After all, what good is a dictionary when you’re suffering and in pain? You simply want the pain to go away, and the sooner the better. However, consider indulging me here and being a little bit patient so that we can get started on the right foot and be absolutely sure that we (you and I) are talking about the same thing when we use the word “burnout.”
Burnout is a term that gets tossed around a lot these days, not only because it is rampant in our modern lives (more on this later) but also because it has become a label that we have come to apply to a wide range of non-burnout experiences. The word “burnout” seems to be experiencing the same fate as the word “trauma,” which was intended to denote a deeply distressing or disturbing experience or a physical injury but has since been applied to everything from torture to rude baristas at Starbucks. I giggle to myself thinking about the reaction of one of my exercise buddies when I mentioned that I would be writing a book on burnout. He said (laughing), “I need that. I’m so burned out I am practically a walking textbook,” while going on to do 150 squats. Needless to say, I explained to him that he may be feeling weary about life and “over the [COVID-19] pandemic,” but burnout itself actually has a more specific definition. The very mere facts that he had such a positive attitude, had plenty of energy to work out and go hiking that very same day, and enjoyed his work were representative of the likelihood that he actually was not burned out, at least, not yet by the looks of it.
The term “burnout” was first coined by the psychologist Herbert Freudenberger in the 1970s. It is defined by the World Health Organization (WHO) as an “occupational phenomenon” that is “… a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It is characterized by three dimensions: 1) feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion; 2) increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job; and 3) reduced professional efficacy.” I explore these manifestations of burnout much more deeply later in this chapter.
The WHO definition goes on to specifically state that “burnout refers specifically to phenomena in the occupational context and should not be applied to describe experiences in other areas of life.” In modern society, however, the line between work and “other areas of life” has sufficiently blurred to the extent that it is really unfair to talk concretely about “work-life balance” or to imply that burnout would only arise from your job, if, for example, you are a parent, the primary caregiver for an aging parent, or a volunteer leader of a community organization. For the purposes of this book, I say that burnout arises out of your attempts to fulfill your obligations of any kind. Indeed, burnout is not exclusive to work. It is a stress-related issue, and you can therefore arrive at burnout as a result of the cumulative effect of stress from too many obligations in any area of your life.
What burnout is not
Putting aside this little shift to looking at all your obligations as a potential source of burnout, it can be valuable to focus on figuring out what burnout is and also what it is not, so you can invest your time and attention in addressing the larger challenge itself and not waste your effort on “Band-Aid fixes.” What I’m suggesting here is the equivalent of “work smarter, not harder,” and getting a better sense of what you are trying to improve or correct will help you be more effective in reducing burnout and increasing satisfaction in your life. Taking pain medication to address the symptoms of a shoulder injury can certainly help dull the pain, but appreciating that the pain comes from a broken bone will go a lot farther toward long-term relief of the pain. Appreciating the source of burnout versus the symptoms can help you be more effective.
You can see in the earlier WHO definition that the term “burnout” addresses a syndrome that results from chronic stress from your obligations. It’s worthwhile to unpack those two terms a bit further to appreciate both the depth and the seriousness of burnout and begin to highlight some ways to reduce it in your life.
A syndrome is defined as a group of symptoms that consistently occur together or a condition characterized by a set of associated symptoms, traits, or distinctive features. Because these traits or symptoms occur in a kind of cluster of unpleasantness, chasing after one or the other of them is not likely to address the true underlying cause, even if relieving one of them could feel good in the moment.
Many people today feel distraught, overwhelmed, and anxious as a result of managing through the COVID-19 pandemic and financial and global uncertainty. You may be one of them. Are you tired and worried, but still have time and energy to enjoy your life; do you feel more or less satisfied at work and feel rejuvenated after a good weekend getaway (that you can afford)?
Or are you are feeling profoundly exhausted? It feels like there isn’t enough time in the day to meet all of your obligations. Perhaps your mother is unwell and requires frequent doctor’s visits or around-the-clock care, your new boss is extremely demanding and unforgiving, and you feel more and more like a failure and not good enough. Your body aches, you worry about getting COVID-19, and you can’t remember when you had a full night’s sleep. You want a break but don’t see one in sight as your family relies on your income. Will a night out with friends help? Maybe a mani-pedi or a massage?
The real question is whether quick fixes can actually address your deep feelings of exhaustion or cynical attitude in any meaningful way. They may help you feel somewhat better … for a while, but in the end you’re likely to find (or you’ve already found) that these are drops in a bucket that is far bigger than a single act can fill. This isn’t an argument for not doing these things, but just a way of saying that a complex challenge like burnout calls for a broader approach if you really want to turn the tide.
Burnout isn’t like a headache or a sore muscle that can be treated with a pill or a massage. It isn’t something that happens because you have a rough day, nor is it having to do a difficult thing as part of your obligations (even if it is distasteful or downright degrading). Rather, it’s more complex and a reflection of something more chronic and insidious that requires deeper care and support.
What makes burnout so complex
The other key word in the WHO definition is chronic. A chronic syndrome is one that has persisted for a long time or constantly recurs and is hard to eradicate. What this term chronic suggests is that there are no quick fixes to a problem that has been something like a constant (and difficult) companion to you for a while. It’s been around for so long, in fact, that it has graced you with a myriad of health issues that may have driven you to seek medical care — when you can get there — and when you can’t, to popping pills or self-medicating with food or alcohol.
It’s important to note one more aspect of the WHO definition before moving on. It states that burnout “is not classified as a medical condition.” The significance of this statement is that there is no clear treatment for it, and it is considered a factor “… influencing health status or contact with health services.” In practical terms, this line points to two important points that are considered later in this book. First, burnout may very well drive you to the doctor (who may or may not recognize your complaints as burnout or know exactly how to treat it), and second, it has very real physical health consequences nonetheless, well beyond the specific symptoms you may experience. The medical consequences of burnout are huge and widespread, and I explore these further a bit later. Note, however, that they are symptoms and add to the complexity of burnout, but they do not constitute burnout in of themselves.
Here’s a helpful table to differentiate bad feelings or bad days from true burnout.
Not Burnout
Burnout
You have a bad day.
Every day is a bad day.
Caring about things feels hard.
Caring about your life feels like a total waste of energy.
You’re tired.
You’re exhausted all the time.
You have some dull or difficult tasks to do routinely.
The majority of your day is consumed with mind-numbingly dull or overwhelming tasks.
You wonder if you’re making a difference.
You feel like nothing you do makes a difference and nobody appreciates what you do.
You have doubts and are sometimes pessimistic.
You (or your colleagues) find you to be cynical and a “Debbie Downer.”
HOW BURNOUT FEELS ON THE INSIDE
Armando took a certain pride and pleasure in being a driver for Amazon. Frankly, he got a little jolt of satisfaction each time he happened to see the face of some happy package recipient mimic the smile logo on the side of the boxes he left on doorsteps all over town. Being a delivery driver can be a demanding job sometimes, but Armando had done it before, and all in all, he appreciated the activity, the challenge, and being able to be outdoors and mobile most of the day.
Of course, nobody anticipated the pandemic, much less the incredible impact it would have on everyone in different ways. For Armando, there were two converging freight trains of reality that collided in his path and made it hard for him to live up to Amazon’s slogan of “Work hard. Have fun. Make history.” First, as people were unable to go out and purchase much of what they needed, orders placed with the online giant skyrocketed quickly. At the same time, people were quitting their jobs in record numbers, and Armando’s co-workers seemed to be dropping like flies.
The company expected Armando to pick up the slack, and he felt that he was being asked to do ten-hour shifts in six hours, without breaks or lunch. While he hadn’t done it himself, he’d heard the stories of other drivers feeling compelled to bring a bottle to pee into so they didn’t have to stop on their appointed rounds. At the end of each day, Armando came home to his wife and son sore, hungry, and exhausted — eating something, falling into bed, and doing it all again the next day. His days off were spent resting, without the energy to do anything he enjoyed, like playing with his son or helping his wife around the house.
For Armando, who was raised to feel a deep responsibility for supporting his family and being self-sufficient, the sheer enormity of his task each day seemed to grow exponentially. He began to feel helpless to manage the demands and even found himself having dreams of being washed away by floods or chased by people with guns. The dreams led him to have fitful sleep and to wake up far from rested. Rather than feeling good about delivering supplies to people in need, he began to question why people were so materialistic and felt they needed so much “stuff.” He got impatient on the road when someone cut him off, and he was uncharacteristically irritable with the people he encountered.
Always a healthy person, Armando began to find that he struggled with headaches, lost his appetite, and really kept his distance from his family and his co-workers on a regular basis, feeling detached and generally trapped in a hamster wheel of fruitless activity.
This is one of the many faces of burnout, and I share it here not to discourage or dishearten you, but simply to begin to take a word and give it a face and shape that anyone can relate to. It’s also important to point out that burnout happens to people with the best of intentions and all the necessary skills to cope. In other words, burnout is not a reflection of personal weakness or a fatal flaw; it happens to the best of us, and as you find out in these pages, there is a way through it to a life of satisfaction and joy.
Looking for the Signs of Burnout
As with many chronic conditions, burnout is a very sneaky adversary and can slowly but stealthily find its way into your life when you are much too busy to be watching for it. Also, like the proverbial road to hell, the road to burnout is paved with more than a few good intentions. While you may think of yourself as having traveled that road and arrived at the bitter end of it in a state of burnout, it really can be helpful to retrace your steps as a way of helping you extricate yourself and also absolve yourself of some guilt over how you got here.
The point is that psychologists understand the onset of burnout as being a slow, steady progress that may be virtually undetectable at first but slowly grows over time through a series of fairly predictable stages that are worth reviewing here.
Using the Three R approach
I suggest that dealing with burnout requires the “Three R” approach that most healthcare providers follow:
R
e
cognition:
Watch for and take note of early stages and warning signs of burnout.
Restabilize:
Aim to reestablish some semblance of stability in any way that you can by seeking support and managing stress.
Resilience:
Build your ability to respond productively to stress by cultivating better physical health, emotional balance, mental clarity, healthy relationships, spiritual connection, and leadership qualities — what I call the six pillars of resilience. For more on this topic, check out one of my other titles,
Resilience For Dummies,
also published by Wiley.
It’s helpful to get to know burnout and its early stages in particular, so you can start on the road to attending to the first R of recognizing the signs.
Step 1: Honeymoon phase
Do you remember being in love in that first phase of a new relationship? Your new partner (or job) can do no wrong. Their quirks are cute, and they seem to walk on water. You feel like you are also walking on water, full of energy, creative, and optimistic (there is a biological reason for this that we explore later). You take on more and more responsibilities and find yourself working late hours, going to bed late, and waking up early. You’re tired, but you think to yourself, “It’s a good tired!”
Step 2: Onset of stress
One day you happen to notice that something has been missing from your life lately: your friends and family! Somehow, you’ve gotten so immersed in your work and its demands that you’ve lost touch with important people and activities that used to be your best supports. Your visits to the gym seem less frequent, and you find yourself making some fast (but questionable) food choices to eat on the go because you’re skipping breaks to get things done. Every now and then you find that focusing is more challenging, and maybe you’re getting headaches, feeling a little creeping anxiety, or even noticing a general sense of not-quite-rightness in your body. Your little errands are not getting done like they used to, and you miss your quiet moments to catch your breath and decompress.
Step 3: Chronic stress
We all have stressful periods in our lives, but at some point your frequent experience of these high-stress times has begun to erode your problem-solving skills, and you notice that the work you are doing isn’t quite as good or as accurate as it used to be. You may notice the tiniest of feelings of being out of control or powerless over things around you, and in order to avoid the discomfort of this state of affairs, you start procrastinating a bit more. The praise or recognition that maybe you received before is now not so common, and this just adds to your discomfort. You may find yourself becoming increasingly sensitive to slights by others, and as a result, you may find yourself distancing from others so you can avoid uncomfortable interactions. The distancing can also take the form of binge-watching on streaming services, endless social media scrolling, or over-reliance on alcohol or worse.
Step 4: Burnout
Perhaps you neglected the warning signs in the earlier stages, and you now find yourself at critical exhaustion levels that make it hard to cope with the demands of your obligations. You have a pervasive sense of powerlessness that can easily slip into despair and disillusionment. You may begin to feel betrayed by your job, your boss, your body, or the system you work in. The options for escaping the grip of burnout feel like they are slipping away, and you may be experiencing what psychologists call “learned helplessness.” You may be feeling physical symptoms like digestive problems, chronic headaches, or even panic attacks, and you may be feeling like surrendering to it all. If others haven’t noticed it before, your pessimism is becoming more obvious, and you are harboring a lot of self-doubt and self-criticism, feeling as if you have failed in some way.
Step 5: Habitual burnout
Many individuals who experience burnout in their lives have done so before, sometimes many times, and one way or the other, they seem to have been able to extricate themselves from it through some combination of self-care, setting limits, taking breaks, and a variety of good coping techniques like meditation, seeking social support or mentorship, or getting out in nature. But with this fifth stage of burnout, you just can’t seem to snap out of it or get yourself back on track. It’s almost as if burnout has become the “new normal” for you and a part of your everyday life, however unpleasant that may be. This is the critical period when “situational burnout” can very well impact your career, your relationships, and even the things you previously enjoyed and looked forward to. At this stage, you are particularly vulnerable to bouts of depression and may need outside help to overcome what you are facing. This is a dark place to be, but even this difficult experience can be transcended with the tools you can find in these pages.
The steps previously noted may feel familiar, but then again, you may not have noticed any such stages, or your circumstances may be unique. These are just typical examples; they may or may not feel relevant to you. The following sections drill down into each of the three WHO-defined clusters of symptoms. See if you recognize yourself in any of them.
No gas in the tank: Emotional exhaustion
“I feel like I’m wearing those ankle weights from the gym all day, every day,” says Chelsey, a police officer in a mid-sized American city. Chelsey joined the force nearly ten years ago and, all in all, has found her job to be interesting, challenging, and rewarding over the years. But over the past 18 months or so, due to budget cuts, increasing anti-policing sentiment, and some recent changes in department leadership, she has found herself slowing down and finding everything to be an effort.
“I used to notice that I was tired at the end of a busy day, but this is definitely different. When I was tired, I could bounce back after a good night’s sleep or a weekend off to spend with my dogs and friends … mostly my dogs,” she says with a laugh. “But lately I almost feel like I wake up tired, my body aches, and it takes a huge effort to just get out of bed, into my uniform, and in to the station.”
Exhaustion is a kind of pervasive tiredness that one feels in one’s bones sometimes. Other people describe a kind of “emotional exhaustion” where they can’t muster up enthusiasm for things they used to enjoy, and when faced with challenges they opt for passivity and surrender over engagement. For example, Chelsey was recently asked to come in and cover for an absent colleague when she had other important plans, but rather than speak up and advocate for herself, she simply gave in and agreed to come in. As you can imagine if you have ever surrendered in a similar situation, this leads to lingering feelings of resentment and irritation that just make things worse.
Exhaustion is not a pretty picture, and when it comes to trying to follow well-meaning advice from friends to “just snap out of it” or “fake it ’til you make it,” you just don’t have it in you to do even those things when you’re in this state, compounding your feelings of failure or helplessness. It’s a downward spiral that can be hard to reverse. Hard, but not impossible. Stay tuned: There are ways to re-energize and reverse that spiral.
Not feeling it: Depersonalization
Seven syllables is a lot, and the word “depersonalization” sounds pretty fancy and clinical, but the reality of it (the felt experience of depersonalization) is really quite simple. Malcolm has been a devoted son all his life, especially more recently when he agreed to have his father come to live with him as his father began experiencing symptoms of increasing dementia. In the early days, when the experience was new, it gave Malcolm great satisfaction to support his father, who had been such a powerful figure in his own life over the years. But as the disease advanced and the demands on Malcolm grew, it felt like his father was slipping away. But when he took a moment to really look at the situation, Malcom observed something else as well.
“I had a moment when I almost felt like a robot, where it was like I didn’t actually control what I was saying or doing, and I was just going through the motions,” Jack reported sheepishly. “Here was this man that I love so deeply, and I was treating him like an object or a stranger. It kind of freaked me out on one level, but another part of me just didn’t seem to care.”
Feelings of depersonalization can be unsettling and disturbing in some ways and can lead to feelings of emotional numbness for some and a kind of cynical attitude for others. Some people describe it as feeling like they are in a trance or under a spell, and if they are also feeling the exhaustion described previously, it can be a kind of “double-whammy” where they feel disconnected and too tired to care about it. If this feels discouraging and, frankly, a little depressing, you’re right.
Not cutting it: Ineffectiveness
Lydia prided herself in the sheer volume of work she could produce as an attorney in a large firm. She went into the legal profession knowing that the demands would be high and her free time would be short. “I like to say that I eat stress for breakfast!” she says. “I love the law and mostly the law loves me back, but lately I would have to say that my love has been unrequited, to say the least.” Having faced a number of setbacks in the courtroom and in the office, Lydia has begun noticing that her work is suffering a bit. “I feel like I’ve lost my edge and I can’t seem to find it anywhere. I still love the actual work, but all the hassles of bureaucracy, office politics, and ridiculous expectations are taking a toll.”
Having had some periods of low mood and pessimism about her ability to have an impact with her work as a result, Lydia has begun to notice self-doubt creeping into her inner dialogue, and the harder she tries to argue against that self-doubt and the negative voice of her inner critic, the louder it seems to get. In the meantime, she just isn’t doing the kind of work she and her bosses have come to expect from her, and it has become a difficult spiral to manage.
The challenge with noticing that you’re not performing at your best is that you may feel either too exhausted to do anything about it, or you may muster up a burst of energy to “sprint” a bit in hopes of jump-starting your productivity and the quality of your work. This rarely works and may even compound the problem by further exhausting and disappointing your inner critic. In many ways, ineffectiveness is a symptom of the underlying syndrome of burnout, so only treating the symptom itself is unlikely to be helpful in the long run. What this book helps you do is to get at the roots of the challenge of burnout, which ultimately allows your work to improve and you to thrive.
The Several “Flavors” of Burnout
If someone asked you what burnout is, you would probably offer up an example of someone highly overworked and trying like crazy to keep up with unreasonable demands, with no time to “refill the tank” with rest or relaxation. And you would be absolutely right. But burnout can manifest in a number of different ways and can result from a myriad of different circumstances. It’s important to be familiar with the “flavors of burnout” so you can adequately assess whether you are experiencing burnout.
Please note that I very purposefully said “whether you are experiencing burnout” and not “whether you are burned out.” You are feeling anxiety or you are struggling with sadness, but you are not those things: You are not your burnout. This may seem like an esoteric word game, but it has real implications: When you can actually see that you are separate from your emotional or physical experiences, the possibility of shifting your relationship with those experiences and loosening their grip on you begins to open up. Perhaps you can reflect a bit on how much you identify yourself as a burned-out person. Has it become your identity? Take some time to consider it.
As such, you are not your burnout, but burnout can show up in a slew of different ways in your life or maybe for someone you love. Researchers have identified different types of burnout and each is explored briefly below.
Overload: Burnout by volume
This is the classic form of burnout that we most readily associate with the term. Having too many demands upon you simply grinds you down and wears you out. This is not to say that everyone who is busy suffers from burnout. In fact, many people actually thrive on being super-busy. I know many people who work in the restaurant business, for instance, feel more energized by the hustle and bustle of the kitchen during the busy times. The same is true for many executives I coach who are more motivated by imminent deadlines and the need to multi-task.
The capacity varies from person to person, and even in a busy work environment, there is such a thing as unbalanced busyness. If you add an obnoxious, demanding boss or terrible working conditions, what was once a nirvana can turn into a living hell for many. That is to say, being busy is a relative term, and being busy without some semblance of balance sets the stage for burnout to set in. Higher stress loads that are managed can eventually lead to a big deficit. Sometimes too much of a good thing is literally just too much, and burnout soon follows, even in a job you may have previously loved.
How you might end up with too much work is another matter that we explore further in Part 2 as we begin to move “upstream” to see how we can prevent burnout from happening at all.
Underload: Burnout by boredom
If you fit the category of burnout by volume, then you may think to yourself that the idea of burnout by boredom seems preposterous. It may be similar to a person who is poor being told that a lot of stress is associated with having too much money. Hard to imagine, huh? But nonetheless, there is a significant risk of burnout for people who are under-challenged in their work, expected to do dull, mindless, repetitive tasks without variety, and those who see their work as meaningless. We can all tolerate a bit of mindlessness in our work from time to time. For example, I have found myself sometimes being willing to sort through a spreadsheet and rearrange data just because it is the kind of mindless activity that allows my brain to rest and recover.
But what if you basically feel uninspired by your life or your work? You may not know where to even begin to make changes and feel stuck or paralyzed in that predicament. And just imagine how that same person would react if you told them, “Hey, you know what? A year from now your life is going to look exactly like it looks right now.” What sort of a meltdown might you undergo if you were the one being told that?
Each person has an optimal level of arousal where they function best. Specifically, there is an optimal place, a sweet spot of challenge and arousal that falls somewhere between total inertia and maximum arousal. Scientists refer to this phenomenon as the Yerkes-Dodson Law, which states that there is a relationship between pressure and performance, such that performance increases with physiological or mental arousal, but only up to a point. When arousal becomes too high, performance then decreases. Think of the athlete who needs a certain amount of stimulation to approach peak performance, but at a certain point if they bear down too much or try too hard, their performance actually decreases. The person who experiences burnout by boredom is on the extremely low side of this continuum, and the one who faces burnout by volume is on the high side. Just like Goldilocks and the Three Bears, the key is finding the place in between that is “just right.”
Undersupported: Burnout by neglect
Burnout by neglect results from a long history of being overlooked, ignored, or lacking guidance, which over time leads the person to feel increasingly more helpless and inadequate. As expectations are not clearly expressed and support to accomplish tasks isn’t given, the person experiences more feelings of insecurity and incompetency.
Have you had this experience? Perhaps you came into the job feeling insecure about your abilities to begin with, or maybe you came in fairly confident, but your boss has never bothered to explain anything to you or given you the support you need to do the tasks required of you. You still aren’t sure if you are doing things right, and over time, you have felt more inadequate, less confident, and ultimately, less motivated. “Why bother?” you may have asked yourself.
In such a scenario, the more helpless to effect change the person feels, the higher the loss of motivation. The person becomes more passive, feels unable to handle the given responsibilities, and subsequently feels increasingly overwhelmed, useless, and helpless, when in truth, they are not.
Overpleasing: Burnout by socialization
Do you ever notice that you are unusually concerned about what other people think of you? Do you find yourself craving approval and validation on a regular basis? Do you find that your sense of ease and self-satisfaction hinges largely on whether other people like and approve of you? You may be ripe for experiencing burnout by socialization. This form of burnout is a curious combination of aspects of the other factors, either being overloaded and undersupported or underloaded and undersupported. It arises primarily from a tendency to be a people pleaser. This means that you would rather be uncomfortable than potentially make somebody else uncomfortable. You may think of yourself as a natural “giver” and find yourself saying “yes” to things that, down deep, you know you should say “no” to.
Do you have a hard time saying “no”? Think about how this attitude may have opened doors for you now and then. Perhaps you enjoy the feel-good feelings you experience when you see the joy your saying “yes” brings to someone else. Conversely, do you say “yes” to avoid seeing someone displeased or unhappy? Has it also left you feeling overburdened with only yourself to blame (or resentfully blaming others)?
Neuroscientists might say that you are getting a hit of dopamine (a pleasure neurotransmitter in the brain) when you get the approval of others or when you see that an action you took brought someone else pleasure or happiness. That feel-good feeling that you get with the dopamine surge can become a bit addictive … and habitual.
If you do have the tendency to be motivated largely by seeking the approval of other people, you will find that even the day-to-day challenges of your work are exhausting and unfulfilling when you derive no intrinsic pleasure from doing it. A successful commercial fisherman likely feels a kind of pleasure from pulling a big one out of the deep, but if he is the captain’s son and is only doing this work because he is seeking the approval of his father, he may be vulnerable to burnout. This kind of chronic lack of satisfaction can lead you to begin to neglect your work. Over time this obviously can lead to a negative feedback loop where you aren’t fulfilled by your work, you don’t do it (or don’t do it well), and you get negative feedback from supervisors or colleagues, causing you to like the work (and yourself) even less. And the next thing you know, you’re experiencing burnout.
Of course, no amount of self-care, time off, or shifting your duties in this circumstance is likely to lead to a change of the underlying dynamics of this situation. But as you can see in this book, there are other, more effective ways of dealing with situations like this that can bring greater satisfaction and reduced burnout over time.
Checking Your Burnout Level
Knowing how much burnout you may be experiencing may begin to give you clues about how to tackle the whole phenomenon of burnout in your life. Shall we see how you fare on the burnout quiz?
Note that whatever you score on this quiz, it is not a representation of you being “good” or “bad” but rather a guide to let you know what you may want to focus on or what sort of support you need to become the thriving and happy person you want to be.
Discovering just how burned out you feel
Take some time to consider the following statements and assign each one a number based upon how well it applies to you, using the following scale:
Not At All: 1 point
Rarely: 2 points
Sometimes: 3 points
Often: 4 points
Very Often: 5 points
Statement
Score (1–5)
I’ve got a short fuse these days and have a tendency to get irritated or angry quite easily over things that used to not bother me much.
I've got no gas in the tank. I feel physically and emotionally drained.
When I think about my work, I feel like a “Debbie Downer” in my negative attitude.
I wonder how I ended up in this job or role and find myself wishing for something else.
I find myself being less kind and sympathetic to other people and their issues than I ought to be.
My co-workers and people in my life tend to tick me off more than they used to.
I question the purpose and meaning of my work or my profession, longing for another situation or a simpler time.
The people I work with and for don’t seem to appreciate or understand me.
I would like to be able to talk with others about how I feel, but nobody seems available or interested.
I feel that I could be achieving more than I am, but I just can’t seem to do it.
I find myself feeling weirdly disconnected from my work and from other people, as if I am going through the motions and not really there.
I sometimes feel like my work is a pressure-cooker to succeed, and I’m the meal being cooked!
I feel less satisfied with the work I produce or do.
I get aggravated with basic aspects of my job or what I am asked to do.
I feel that I am unable to do the best job because of politics, bureaucracy, or systems outside of my direct control.
I feel more and more like a square peg in a round hole when it comes to my work. I question whether I fit.
The amount of work I have to do always seems to come at me faster and heavier than I can manage.
I think I would like to do a better job, but the time just isn’t there to do it.
I sometimes feel like the tail of the dog, where I get wagged around but don’t get to have a role in determining my own future and activities.
I find myself wondering if I’m burned out, and people give me advice for how to feel better.
What the results mean … and what they don’t mean
When you total up your score, see how it compares to the scale below:
20–40
No obvious signs of burnout. Time to find ways to flourish!
41–50
Burnout seems unlikely, unless you have a few 4s or 5s
51–70
The caution light is on. You could be at risk for burnout.
71–90
Time to take some action (keep reading), as burnout is likely.
91–100
The red lights are flashing, and you need to act now.
It is important, first and foremost, not to let this simple, unscientific quiz take on too much importance overall. It’s a great way to get a quick snapshot of your experience from all angles and to get a general sense of your concerns and how intense they are. This quiz definitely is an informal assessment of burnout, and while it may feel as if it gets at the heart of burnout, it is not scientifically validated. It is what psychologists call face valid in that it appears, on the face of it, to capture burnout, but we can’t really say for sure that it truly measures the syndrome of burnout. Use your common sense in interpreting what it means, and if you are seeking a truly rigorous, empirically valid measure of burnout, the Maslach Burnout Inventory is the industry standard for such things, and it can be purchased from Mind Garden, its publisher.
