Coaching Into Greatness E-Book

Kim George

• Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
• Kategorie: Fachliteratur
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 443

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2010

Beschreibung

Internationally acclaimed business coach and consultant Kim George provides an easy-to-master process for coaches to bring out innate greatness and achieve peak performance. George introduces a new kind of intelligence quotient, Abundance Intelligence. AQ is the key to living into greatness, moving from a mentality of scarcity to one of abundance. Using her proven four-step process, you will learn to move your clients past their illusions to embrace the abundance aptitudes of self-worth, empathy, self-expression, surrender, actualization, significance, and inquiry. Personal examples, client case studies, and profiles of highly successful individuals demonstrate how the process works and how it helps individuals live into greatness.

Leseprobe

Table of Contents

Praise

Title Page

Copyright Page

Foreword

Acknowledgements

Introduction

PROFILES IN GREATNESS

COACHING INTO GREATNESS

THE FOUR-STEP LIVING INTO GREATNESS PROCESS

A SUMMARY OF THE SEVEN ILLUSIONS

THE ILLUSIONS

PUTTING GREATNESS INTO MOTION

CHANGING MY CIRCUMSTANCES BY CHANGING MYSELF

NOW IT’S YOUR TURN

CHAPTER ONE - A New Way of Being

HOW YOU SHOW UP IN LIFE IS WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT

THE OLD WAY OF THINKING—THE TRUTH ABOUT SCARCITY

A NEW WAY OF BEING—THE TRUTH ABOUT ABUNDANCE

INTRODUCING THE ABUNDANCE QUOTIENT (AQ) SYSTEM

CHAPTER SUMMARY

CHAPTER TWO - Why Greatness?

THE CONNECTION BETWEEN GREATNESS AND ABUNDANCE

IF WE’RE ALL GREAT, HOW CAN WE FAIL?

ARGUMENTS AGAINST GREATNESS

THE PROFOUND IMPACT OF EACH INDIVIDUAL

CHAPTER SUMMARY

CHAPTER THREE - Forgetting Who You Are

THE DYNAMICS OF CONDITIONING

CHAPTER SUMMARY

CHAPTER FOUR - Remembering Who You Are

THE FOUR-STEP PROCESS

THE FOUR STEPS

CHAPTER SUMMARY

CHAPTER FIVE - The Illusion of Not Enough

THE DYNAMICS OF NOT ENOUGH

A STORY OF NOT ENOUGH

THE CONDITIONED PATTERNS OF NOT ENOUGH

THE TIPPING POINT OF NOT ENOUGH

PROFILES IN GREATNESS: JULIA “BUTTERFLY” HILL

SHIFTING THE BALANCE FROM NOT ENOUGH TO SELF-WORTH

THE CONSCIOUS PATTERNS OF SELF-WORTH

THE FOUR-STEP PROCESS APPLIED TO THE ILLUSION OF NOT ENOUGH

CHAPTER SUMMARY

CHAPTER SIX - The Illusion of Comparisons

THE DYNAMICS OF COMPARISONS

A STORY OF COMPARISONS

THE CONDITIONED PATTERNS OF COMPARISONS

THE TIPPING POINT OF COMPARISONS

PROFILES IN GREATNESS: DR. IVAN MISNER

SHIFTING THE BALANCE FROM COMPARISONS TO EMPATHY

THE CONSCIOUS PATTERNS OF SELF-EMPATHY

THE FOUR-STEP PROCESS APPLIED TO THE ILLUSION OF COMPARISONS

CHAPTER SUMMARY

CHAPTER SEVEN - The Illusion of Struggle

THE DYNAMICS OF STRUGGLE

A STORY OF STRUGGLE

THE CONDITIONED PATTERNS OF STRUGGLE

HOW STRUGGLE SHOWS UP IN BUSINESS

THE TIPPING POINT OF STRUGGLE

PROFILES IN GREATNESS: KORRAHN DROKU

SHIFTING THE BALANCE FROM STRUGGLE TO SELF-EXPRESSION

THE CONSCIOUS PATTERNS OF SELF-EXPRESSION

THE FOUR-STEP PROCESS APPLIED TO THE ILLUSION OF STRUGGLE

CHAPTER SUMMARY

CHAPTER EIGHT - The Illusion of Control

THE DYNAMICS OF CONTROL

A STORY OF CONTROL

THE CONDITIONED PATTERNS OF CONTROL

THE TIPPING POINT OF CONTROL

PROFILES IN GREATNESS: SUSAN ANNUNZIO

SHIFTING THE BALANCE FROM CONTROL TO SURRENDER

THE CONSCIOUS PATTERNS OF SURRENDER

THE FOUR-STEP PROCESS APPLIED TO THE ILLUSION OF CONTROL

CHAPTER SUMMARY

CHAPTER NINE - The Illusion of Time

THE DYNAMICS OF TIME

A STORY OF TIME

THE CONDITIONED PATTERNS OF TIME

THE TIPPING POINT OF TIME

PROFILES IN GREATNESS: “MIKE” OF THE REFERRAL INSTITUTE

SHIFTING THE BALANCE FROM TIME TO ACTUALIZATION

THE CONSCIOUS PATTERNS OF ACTUALIZATION

THE FOUR-STEP PROCESS APPLIED TO THE ILLUSION OF TIME

CHAPTER SUMMARY

CHAPTER TEN - The Illusion of Hope

THE DYNAMICS OF HOPE

A STORY OF HOPE

THE CONDITIONED PATTERNS OF HOPE

THE TIPPING POINT OF HOPE

PROFILES IN GREATNESS: JOE VITALE

SHIFTING THE BALANCE FROM HOPE TO SIGNIFICANCE

THE CONSCIOUS PATTERNS OF SIGNIFICANCE

THE FOUR-STEP PROCESS APPLIED TO THE ILLUSION OF HOPE

CHAPTER SUMMARY

CHAPTER ELEVEN - The Illusion of Certainty

THE DYNAMICS OF CERTAINTY

A STORY OF CERTAINTY

THE CONDITIONED PATTERNS OF CERTAINTY

THE TIPPING POINT OF CERTAINTY

PROFILES IN GREATNESS: YASMIN DAVIDDS

SHIFTING THE BALANCE FROM CERTAINTY TO INQUIRY

THE CONSCIOUS PATTERNS OF INQUIRY

THE FOUR-STEP PROCESS APPLIED TO THE ILLUSION OF CERTAINTY

CHAPTER SUMMARY

CHAPTER TWELVE - Creating Abundance Intelligence™

DOING WHAT YOU CAN DO

PROFILES IN GREATNESS: ERIC RICE

ABUNDANCE INTELLIGENCE™

THE OPPORTUNITY BEFORE US

CHAPTER SUMMARY

APPENDIX - The AQ System at a Glance

Recommended Reading

Glossary

About the Author

Index

More Praise for

Coaching Into Greatness

“Kim George does a masterful job shattering the illusions that keep us from becoming our best selves. This smart, practical book will help you move from struggling with scarcity to living a life of abundance.”

—Daniel H. Pink Author of A Whole New Mind

“Einstein said that ‘Things should be made as simple as possible, not simpler.’ In this delightful book Kim George helps us bring clarity, wisdom, and optimal simplicity to our complex lives.”

—Michael J. Gelb Author of Discover Your Genius and How to Think Like Leonardo Davinci

“This is a wise and inspiring book full of wonderful stories and practical lessons you can apply as a coach—or to your own life.”

—Anita Sharpe, Co-Founding Editor and Chairman Worthwhile Magazine, www.worthwhilemag.com

“I love this book! Coaching into Greatness breaks new ground with the concept of Abundance Intelligence™. For the first time, we have a system that pinpoints where and how we’re living in scarcity. By redefining abundance in tangible, practical terms, Kim George gives us a powerful roadmap for claiming the greatness that is already ours.”

—Dr. Joe Vitale Author of way too many books to list here, including The Attractor Factorwww.mrfire.com

“Amazing! This is what was missing in my coaching and in my life. Long before reading the final chapter, I was using the concepts with my clients and achieving incredible results.”

—Garry Schleifer, CPCC, President ICF Toronto

“Coaching into Greatness is a must-read for any business professional seeking to improve performance. In my experience, the most critical issue that sabotages entrepreneurs is having a ‘scarcity’ mindset instead of an ‘abundance’ mindset. With her clear examples and straightforward style, Kim George will help business professionals position themselves for success in an ever-changing world.”

—Mike Garrison, VP The Referral Institute®

“Business owners and leaders need Coaching into Greatness. If your team is not focused on the impact of scarcity on the bottom line, you are losing money, performance, productivity, and leadership. Coaching into Greatness is a must-read for all leaders and managers. Practical and doable, it will bring the concept of abundance alive within your business.”

—Jay Fulcher, CEO Agile Software

“Kim George challenges us to be our great selves, and sets forth a realistic path to that goal. What I found most useful was the distinction between conditioned patterns (that keep us bound to scarcity) and conscious patterns (that free us to move towards abundance)—these are powerful models to reframe how you see (and act upon) your life.”

—Michael Bungay StanierAuthor of Get Unstuck & Get Going . . . On the Stuff That Matters, and 2006Canadian Coach of the Year

“I love this book! Not only does Coaching into Greatness offer a new paradigm for the future of the coaching industry, it will teach any professional who’s responsible for the success of a team how to lead it to greatness. Prepare yourself for some rather startling and marvelous results.”

—Michael Port Author of Book Yourself Solid, The Fastest, Easiest, and Most Reliable System for Getting More Clients Than You Can Handle

“Kim George has created the ultimate guide to stripping away our illusions and maximizing our potential. Coaching into Greatness does a great job of helping us truly live our joy.”

—Suzanne Falter-Barns Author of Living Your Joy

“This book works for coaches and at the same time it coaches all of us with step-by-step ways to contact our immense greatness. I was especially impressed with how Kim gave practical recommendations for dealing with issues like control, caretaking, and finding ways to ‘flow.’ In doing so, she is giving us a handbook for our personal and spiritual evolution.”

—David RichoAuthor of The Five Things We Cannot Change: And The Happiness We Find byEmbracing Them

“Kim George’s four-step process is one of true greatness. Her simple and easy approach produces amazing results. Whether you’re a coach, consultant, client, or manager, Coaching into Greatness gives you the tools to create abundance every day. Who wouldn’t want that?”

—Michelle Payne, Executive VP Beyond Point B Consulting Group

“This book is a jewel! Coaching into Greatness teaches how to break through all the illusions that have kept us bound from stepping into our greatness.”

—Yasmin DaviddsAuthor of Take Back Your Power: How to Reclaim It, Keep It, and Use It to GetWhat You Deserve

“Today’s smart clients want results they can measure. Coaching into Greatness will give you all the tools you need to serve your clients. Read this book and absorb its message. It gives you the pragmatic and real world insight you must have to bring your client’s highest visions to life.”

—Richard l. Reardon, President R&R Business Development

Copyright © 2006 by Kimberly George. All rights reserved.

Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.

Published simultaneously in Canada.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, [phone], fax [phone], or on the web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, [phone], fax [phone], or online at http://www.wiley.com/go/permissions.

Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages.

For general information on our other products and services or for technical support, please contact our Customer Care Department within the United States at [phone], outside the United States at [phone] or fax [phone].

Wiley also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some content that appears in print may not be available in electronic books. For more information about Wiley products, visit our web site at www.wiley.com.

This book has been manufactured from a high-yield thermomechanical pulp, using fewer trees per ton of paper than traditional chemical pulping methods, resulting in a lighter stock that wields a better bulk/weight ratio. A totally chlorine-free process using oxygen and hydrogen-peroxide is applied to whiten the paper.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:

George, Kim.

Coaching into greatness : 4 steps to success in business and life / by Kim George.

p. cm.

ISBN-13: 978-0-471-78533-0 (cloth)

1. Success—Psychological aspects. 2. Success in business. I. Title.

BF637.S8G395 2006

158—dc22 2005037204

Foreword

Kim George brings the whole of her passionate self to these pages on your behalf. She speaks with the voice of an abundant heart. In doing so, she is modeling the lessons she wishes to teach—and formidable and timely lessons they are.

Our illusions of separateness have resulted in our long history of self-interest, which in turn has produced the karma we are experiencing today. As a result, in many places and through many people, our world demonstrates daily the triumph of the personality over the soul. The personality is naturally guided by scarcity, and consequently, for the personality, there is never enough. The soul, on the other hand, is guided by abundance, and consequently, the soul can never give enough. Think of the people you know—they probably fall into two categories: personalities who keep taking because they are gripped by scarcity, on the one hand, and souls who are truly free, in the way which Kim has described, on the other, because they are firmly rooted in a generosity of spirit—an abundance mentality. Sometimes it seems the need of the personality to take (because there is never enough for the scarcity-minded personality) has eclipsed the desire of the soul to give. This has long been the general pattern of what I have referred to elsewhere as “the old story” of unenlightened business, political, religious, family, and community relationships. In our Western culture, we are encouraged from our earliest years to see the glass as half-empty.

There is a Middle Eastern legend that tells of a merchant’s servant in Baghdad who came to his master one day in great consternation.

“Master,” he cried, “Someone bumped into me in the crowded market place this morning. When I turned around I saw it was Death. I caught his eye and he gave me such a strange and terrifying look that I am now in fear of my life. Master, please lend me your horse so that I may flee . . . with your help I can be far away in Samarra by nightfall.”

The merchant was a generous man, and, leading the servant to one of his fine horses, he sent him away. Later, the merchant was strolling through the market place where he noticed Death standing in the crowd.

“Why did you frighten my servant this morning and give him such a threatening stare?”

“I did not threaten him,” said Death. “It was a look of surprise . . . I was astounded to see a man this morning in Baghdad when I have an appointment with him tonight in Samarra.”

What we get is often what we expect, so it makes sense to reframe our expectations in order to set the intentionality for better outcomes. Reframing how we view life will not be easy for most of us—we have a long history of scarcity thinking ingrained in our hearts and minds. Indeed, our entire Western culture is built on such thinking—from consumerism, marketing, business, politics, religion, healthcare, education, and even our friendships and partnerships.

But we are intelligent beings, capable of changing—if we want to—and that is the hard part. It’s like dieting: We know exactly what to do—no lessons are required. We just can’t bring ourselves to actually do it.

But what kind of world might we create and embrace if we became soulful ambassadors of abundance, sharing this generosity of spirit and service within every one of our communities? This means contributing something much bigger than money or material things, of course. It means contributing something much more valuable: our time, energy, will, intellect, love, collaboration, and spirit. This commitment must rest on partnership, not competition, on a philosophy of abundance, not scarcity. It must be built on the principle of circulation, allowing the spiritual, intellectual, material, and financial resources to circulate freely between our hearts and those of others.

The Chinese conception of illness—or wellness and health, as they would prefer to describe it—is an imbalance of energy—too much in one place and not enough in another—and it is a perfect example of what happens when we reframe this way. The Western outlook based on scarcity produces inferior wellness rates in our respective societies. Is there a “Sick Kids Hospital” in your town? Or is it called a Children’s Wellness Center? We are suffering from too much negative energy (scarcity thinking) within our communities in general and our corporate world in particular. Wellness (a word that originates from the root wholeness) flows from abundance—exactly what we need in our lives to become and remain well and whole.

And Kim George has created a path, brilliantly lit, that can guide us to abundance.

Lance SecretanAuthor of ONE: The Art and Practice of Conscious Leadership

Acknowledgments

Each person represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.

ANAIS NIN

To Sid Smith, working with you has made such a difference in my experience of creating this book. You have my complete admiration and appreciation! To my agent, Paul Bassis, your support and guidance have meant the world to me. To my editor, David Bernstein, thank you for helping me bring the concept of AQ to the world. Your amazing ability to create a vision for this work and to really see me for who I am is very special.

To all the amazing abundant minds featured in this book: Susan Annunzio, Yasmin Davidds, Korrahn Droku, Keith Ferrazzi, Mike Garrison, Julia Butterfly Hill, Mike Macedonio, Dr. Ivan Misner, Richard Reardon, Eric Rice, and Joe Vitale. The world is a better place because of who you all are, and I am a better person for knowing you.

To Lance Secretan—you are an inspiration, a true leader, and a visionary. I am honored to call you my friend. To my dear friend Stephen Fairley—without your persistent (and sometimes annoying!) question, “Kim, when are you going to write a book?” this dream would not be a reality. Thanks for kicking my butt when I needed it most!

To Elizabeth Tull, you have been my cheerleader, my friend, and my sounding board. You have so much to give the world. To Garry Schleifer, Jennifer Quade, and Carol Zimmerman, thank you for your confidence, unwavering support, and your many contributions. I am honored to have you be the AQ Pioneers! To Brandi, Jule, and Pawn, thank you for being the first to work with the Living into Greatness material. By trusting me and fully embracing uncertainty, you have shown up abundantly and brought this work further than where it could have gone without you.

To Andrea Shea Hudson, you are my champion and my confidant, my best friend. To Dave Buck, Bea Fields, Linda Hanan, Jane Johnson, Ellie Pope, Marta Reily, and Gail Stone—the original branding team! We have grown and evolved together. I am blessed to know you. You have given me so much, not just in your friendship, but in your creativity, encouragement, and by living your personal examples. To Mary Gallagher and Colleen Schaefgen—the two of you are beautiful expressions of abundance. Thank you for your wisdom, your insight, and for helping me to be who I am. To MaryAnn, you have taught me so much. Through your eyes I see the beauty of life. To Ruth Ann Harnisch, thank you for your insight, for who you are being in the world, and for sharing my love of trees. To Kimberly Fulcher, you are a force of nature! Thank you for being a spiritual change agent in my life. To the other members of the Bottom Line Visionaries, Carol Kauffman, Donna Steinhorn, Dianne Stober, and Niki Vettel, thank you for supporting me and believing in my greatness. To Dovid Grossman, you’ve always made my heart smile—I just wish I could hug you! And to Chris Hutchinson, you are such a special person. I love your sensitivity and openness and cherish our friendship.

To all my clients, past and present, thank you for your trust, for your honesty, and for the honor of being your coach. You are an integral part of this book. To the members of the Springfield BNI chapter, you have been essential to my success as a coach. You are my extended family. To all the members of my R&D team, you have been with me from the beginning. Your feedback, suggestions, and probing questions have brought this material so much farther than anything I could have accomplished on my own.

To Earl, Newton, Crisco, Mr. Kitty, Spanky, Horshack, Mr. Bird, and Heidi: You have been my true companions. Thank you for reminding me what life is really about.

To my husband, Rob, thank you for loving me for who I am. I will always love you for the lessons you have taught me about myself.

To my Dad—I know that some of what I have shared in this book may not be easy for you to read. I want you to know that I truly love you and have no regrets about my life. You have helped me be who I am and that is both a gift and a blessing. I treasure our time together.

To my Mom—thank you for writing this book. Thank you for touching my life in so many profound ways. In life and in death, you have shaped me, brought out the best in me, and most of all, loved me. I can still hear you laugh, and that is a beautiful thing.

Introduction

Life is like a giant Slip N’ Slide®. When it’s dry, sliding on it will hurt like hell. Add a little water, and soon everyone is slipping, sliding, and having a great time. As a coach, I know that my job is to assist my clients in living the best lives possible for them. I notice how often they’re trying to move through life as if they’ve forgotten to add water to their personal Slip N’ Slide®. They screech and grind before coming to a painful stop. Everything seems to be a struggle. Then, as if guided by some unseen force, they open the spigot; the water flows, and so do they. Miraculously, it all seems so easy.

This book is, ultimately, about turning on the tap. Most people sleepwalk through life, hoping they’ll somehow make it to the finish line. Life is hard, with one letdown after another. Then, there are those who have figured out some secret formula that allows them to glide from one success to another. I’ve coached some of these people and seen many in my everyday experiences. So have you. As a coach, manager, consultant, office worker, construction boss, or whatever, you have most definitely witnessed people who fit both ends of the spectrum.

I refer to these two sides of the spectrum as living in scarcity and living in abundance. I admit that people get a little edgy when I start talking about scarcity and abundance. So much has been written in the past 10 to 15 years about abundance, abundance thinking, or having an abundant mentality that it’s almost become cliché to talk about it. Cliché or not, it’s a conversation that must be had. I see far too many people living in scarcity to remain on the sidelines about the subject. In fact, it’s been the major focal point of my life for the past several years. This book is not the culmination of my investigations and work with scarcity and abundance. Rather, it is an evolution of my work.

Throughout, you’ll read much about my personal history. I wasn’t always a published author, and I certainly didn’t grow up with a silver spoon in my mouth. And, I didn’t start out as a coach. I share with you my story, and the stories of successful people you know and don’t know, simply as an illustration of what can happen when you add a little water to your Slip N’ Slide®. As you’ll see, all manner of assistance comes to the forefront, often faster and in greater quantities than you ever thought possible.

My decision to become a coach didn’t come from a lifetime of hoping for the right job to come along. It was a whim—a lark, and an intuitive leap of faith into a completely unknown universe for which I felt wholly inadequate. The evolution that led to the writing of this book was much the same process, albeit much more conscious as time went on.

I used to believe that good things would never come my way. I was never “enough”—good enough, smart enough, talented enough, knowledgeable enough. This belief grew out of a series of events in my teenage years. After I lost my mother to cancer when I was 15 and my dad subsequently married a practicing alcoholic, I spent my senior year attending three different high schools. I became very practiced in comparing myself to others (usually negatively), and to the “fact” that struggle was a natural part of life. I also felt very alone.

Being human, I naturally adapted to the events of my life by creating habits and beliefs that made sense of my world. As an adult these same habits and beliefs were holding me back from doing what I wanted to do or having the life I wanted to have. I had developed an innate ability for surviving. But thriving? That was out of the question. Self-limiting habits create a limited life, and I wanted much, much more.

As you know, this quiet life of just getting by is a common theme played out by many. I changed my life dramatically by closely following through with every step outlined in this book. My work resulted in the well-defined process I’ve used to help hundreds leap from their safe, but stagnant lives, and without struggling, do the thing they most want to do.

I don’t care what it is that you, your clients, your colleagues, or your employees want to do. The size, scope, or relative importance of that thing anyone wants to do is irrelevant. What is important is that they do it, and not “someday,” but now. I didn’t have a minute to spare.

You don’t, either.

PROFILES IN GREATNESS

Throughout this book, you will read the stories of people whom I consider to be Living into their Greatness. “Living into Greatness” is an expression I coined to describe the process of growing into our capacity. Each of us, I believe, is born great. We have within us the blueprint for our unique greatness. Most people run fast and hard away from their greatness. I propose that it is entirely reasonable for each of us to turn back, face our greatness full on, and live into that greatness daily and consistently.

These stories of Living into Greatness are both inspirational and instructive. These aren’t rock stars or presidents of nations. These are ordinary people like you and me who simply and purely do what they can do, as best they can do it in the moment. Keith Ferrazzi, for example, author of the best-selling book, Never Eat Alone, and who has been called one of the most connected people on the plant, grew up very poor as the son of an often out-of-work steelworker.

How does one man who grew up in poverty now see life from such an abundant perspective? For one, he has an abundant belief system. He defines abundance as the belief that “creativity begets more creativity, money begets more money, knowledge begets more knowledge, more friends beget more friends, success begets even more success. And most important, giving begets giving.”

Giving is at the heart of this book. Ferrazzi has built his life and his business around his relationships and the idea that “Relationships are like muscles—the more you work them, the bigger and stronger they become.” He has what he and I call an abundant attitude about relationships. In Never Eat Alone, he shares the story of when he wanted to get into the entertainment industry. He’d already build a successful career by freely helping others, not because he expected anything in return, but because he understood clearly that giving always returns to the giver in greater numbers.

He asked around and was introduced to a man named David who was a smart entrepreneur doing creative deals in Hollywood. Keith asked David if he could be referred to anyone who might help him break into the business. David responded that he did know a senior executive at Paramount, but that he wouldn’t give Keith her contact information.

Keith was shocked. David’s reply was, “I can’t. Keith, here’s the situation. It’s likely that at some point I’m going to need something from this person or want to ask a personal favor. And, I’m just not interested in using the equity that I have with this individual on you, or anyone else, for that matter. I need to save that for myself. I’m sorry. I hope you understand.”

Keith didn’t, and neither do I. This is what I call living a scarce life, or living with a scarcity mentality. In my experience, this kind of thinking never works well in the long term. People who live this kind of life live it safely but always yearn for more. They live in what I call a “satin-lined coffin.” It’s nice, comfortable, and often pretty, but it’s still a coffin. They invariably end up with less than they wanted, yet they almost never take personal responsibility for the life they built.

COACHING INTO GREATNESS

When I talk about scarcity and abundance, I refer to them as states of mind, rather than as wealth or lack of wealth. The person who thinks in terms of scarcity, for example, will say good things never last and there’s never enough to go around. People with a scarcity mentality see the glass as half-empty. They are typically motivated by fear, by a lack of something, by a void.

Abundance, on the other hand, is the knowing that you already have everything you need. People with an abundant mentality see the glass as overflowing. They are not motivated by fear but are inspired and pulled forward by an internal conviction that they are on the path meant for them. Abundant people are more than just positive thinkers; they are attraction in action. They accept that life is not always easy and doesn’t always follow the straight and convenient path. They let life unfold through them, instead of putting their life into a box of expectations with a pretty red bow on the top. Abundant people simply fall in love with whom and where they are and keep falling in love every single day.

The primary purpose of this book is to provide you with a clear, understandable, and concise process you can apply to your life and the lives of your coaching clients or employees. The intention is to move from scarcity to abundant thinking. It will help you identify scarcity thinking and understand that these are merely illusions or figments of one’s imagination caused by past events, circumstances, or experiences. With this awareness, you will learn that you already have everything you need to do the thing you want to do. Put in another way that you’ll read repeatedly throughout the book, you will do whatever it is you can do.

Greatness is not dependent on anything; greatness simply is. You don’t need a single thing more. Most people spend their lives sleepwalking—endlessly searching for the pill, person, information, motivation, or circumstances that will enable them to become great.

I’m here to tell you one thing—you, and everyone with whom you work are already great.

What would it mean for you as a leader, coach, or teacher if you could embrace the belief that everyone is already great, that they could put an end to tireless striving and searching, and finally be okay with who they are—right now? What would you create? What possibilities would the people with whom you work say yes to?

As you read the following summary of the seven illusions, practice identifying the attributes of the illusions in yourself and those with whom you work. Is one person hoping for something better, but unable to take action toward it? Is life a constant struggle for another person? As you’ll learn, awareness is the first step, and as you improve your ability to detect these illusions in yourself and others, you’ll be in a better position to help them improve their awareness, and subsequently take progressively productive action. This is perhaps the greatest gift you can ever give anyone.

Action is the key to Living into Greatness. Without it, all you have are the seven illusions and the satin-lined coffin. Not a pretty picture, is it? If we visualize being buried alive, we’re filled with fear and panic, and yet, many people die a little each day, slowly suffocating from unfulfilled dreams and unexpressed desires. However, there is a way to wake up the sleepwalker, and it starts with a simple question. The most powerful question you can ask yourself or anyone else is, “Are you doing what you can do today?” Learn to actively apply the four-step process outlined in each chapter. As you do so, you will reach new awareness of scarcity thinking.

As you work the process, remember my favorite phrase: “Struggle is strictly overrated!”

THE FOUR-STEP LIVING INTO GREATNESS PROCESS

Just as actions are critical to Living into Greatness, actions outside of a clear, easily replicated process keep you busy but won’t get you anywhere. The four-step process I devised is a never-ending process. It is cyclical, flowing naturally like the four seasons of nature. The process begins with awareness but doesn’t simply end when one has established a new behavior. Through authentic action a new and deeper awareness is gained. It’s quite a lot of fun once you get into the rhythm and practice of the process! Teach those with whom you work (coaching or consulting clients, employees, etc.) these four steps, and encourage them to practice the steps daily. Better yet, you practice the four steps daily, demonstrate success in your own life, and your clients will gladly follow.

The four steps are:

1. Awareness. Gain an awareness of where and how a particular illusion is showing up in your life.

2. Acceptance. Calmly accept and appreciate what’s here now. I love what Thomas Leonard frequently said: “The present is perfect!”

3. Consistent action. Once you are aware of the illusion and can accept that the present is indeed perfect, decide what action(s) to take to live into true greatness. Then, incorporate these new actions into your life consistently. It takes time to break old habits.

4. Authenticity. Living into Greatness means showing up as one’s authentic self. This often takes practice (consistent action) and will certainly give rise to new levels of awareness, starting the cycle all over again!

Within each chapter on the seven illusions, you will be provided one key consistent action step that I have found to be the most helpful in shifting from living in the illusion to Living into Greatness. You may, of course, add as many other actions as you feel are necessary for your clients. The goal should be consistency and authenticity as new levels of awareness are gained and acceptance of the present moment is more solidified.

A SUMMARY OF THE SEVEN ILLUSIONS

These seven illusions lock people into a scarcity mentality, keeping them from doing the very thing they can do. As an individual dissolves each illusion, his or her entire world opens with new opportunities and fresh ideas. She simply realizes she’s been who she was meant to be all along. She’s lighter, freer, and less encumbered by old beliefs or attitudes. Each of the following seven chapters will provide a more detailed explanation and will include:

• How the illusion typically shows up.

• Patterns of conditioning associated with the illusion.

• Common core beliefs associated with the illusion.

• Common fears associated with the illusion.

• Personal examples from my life and client case studies.

• How to apply the four-step process that will move anyone past the illusion.

• Profiles of living in greatness—stories of individuals who embody mastery of this illusion, including everyday heroes like you and me who are ordinary people Living into their Greatness in extraordinary ways.

THE ILLUSIONS

1. The Illusion of Not Enough

Does your coaching client or employee tell you he needs one more piece of information before he can make a decision? Perhaps he didn’t know enough, or lacked experience to take the next, potentially risky step. The Illusion of Not Enough is the feeling that one needs more, or has to have his or her act together before taking action. It is at the root of procrastination and is the greatest inhibitor to taking that first big step. The action step for this chapter is to “Stop searching, and start doing.”

2. The Illusion of Comparisons

When we’re comparing ourselves to another, we are not in action. A client who avoids taking action because she doesn’t “measure up” is falling prey to this illusion. A chicken may look huge from the perspective of a small bug. That same chicken is tiny from the viewpoint of a giraffe. We’re taught to think comparatively, always measuring ourselves against another’s standards or views. We project our beliefs onto others, and take on others’ limiting beliefs without objection. Dissolving this illusion is critical to Living into Greatness. The action step for this chapter is to “Act intuitively.”

3. The Illusion of Struggle

Struggle is an illusion that permeates our society to the extent that it has become a virtue. Personally, I feel that struggle is strictly overrated. Struggle isn’t hard work, it’s working hard ineffectively. My colleagues know I work 10 to 12 hours a day, and that I work hard. But, none of my work is a struggle, although this illusion more than any other was my greatest nemesis. Once your clients let go of struggle all life begins to flow more easily. It’s then they find themselves doing that thing they most want to do. The theme for this chapter is, “Struggle is strictly overrated.” The action step is to “Replicate simplicity.”

4. The Illusion of Control

We’re always looking outside ourselves for something better. We’ll take action, or not, based on our perceived control of the outcome. Things don’t always work out the way we want, and the greatest risk is not taking any risk at all. The Illusion of Control keeps us in jobs we don’t want, relationships that don’t work, and stuck wondering what life would have been like “if only . . . .” Control is different from responsibility and decision. We decide, we act, and then, we take responsibility for our actions. Control is the illusion that certain decisions or actions will always produce certain results; or more importantly that by doing the same thing, we’ll somehow get different results. The action step for this chapter is to “Embrace synchronicity.”

5. The Illusion of Time

Most people waste valuable energy regretting past mistakes or looking toward the future to feel better about today. We have to ask ourselves if our worries or anxieties have any factual basis in the present moment. The Illusion of Time keeps us disconnected from our intuition and stuck thinking about regrets, misgivings, or wistful longings. It is an illusion where true happiness and fulfillment always seems to be in the future or the past. The action step for this chapter is to act, “Not how, but when.”

6. The Illusion of Hope

The client says, “I hope things will improve some day,” or “I hope I get a raise.” Hope is the dark side of positive thinking—it doesn’t require any action and rarely results in the desired outcome. People who hope expect something without working for it and get upset when someone else receives something they deserved. When this expectation becomes an entitlement—something your client feels she deserves; or it dissolves into frustration, loneliness, or even anger, she risks becoming stuck in the Illusion of Hope. Hope creates feelings of disconnection and frustration. To move past this illusion and do that thing one wants to do, one must learn to make failure one’s friend. The action step for this chapter is to “Think positively and act accordingly.”

7. The Illusion of Certainty

Do you fail to take progressive or positive action because you feel safe in your current job? Is a coaching client avoiding marketing his business because he’s afraid of being rejected? Creating certainty isn’t about changing one’s circumstances, but about changing oneself. Circumstances will change when you change. The Illusion of Certainty is that certain level of comfort we feel when our current situation is “good enough.” We feel safe within the satin-lined coffin. What’s outside is the unknown that represents both great opportunity and tremendous risk. The Illusion of Certainty keeps us from the opportunities because we’d rather be safe than take risks. However, circumstances can change in a heartbeat and this supposed safety may disappear. Through the Illusion of Certainty the only light one sees is red—the red stop light. The action step for this chapter is to “Risk life, and Live into Greatness.”

PUTTING GREATNESS INTO MOTION

You can’t and won’t Live into your Greatness just by understanding the seven illusions. Imagine trying to ski without ever strapping on the skis! I’ve organized this book so that you can create a productive, positive daily practice of Living and Coaching into Greatness, just as you would practice skiing, singing, or playing a guitar.

The action steps are absolutely essential to obtaining any positive results from this book. Each illusion has an associated action step; and you can create your own action steps based on your intimate knowledge of your clients and from your personal experience with the four-step process in your life. The four-step process is the same for every illusion: awareness; acceptance; consistent action; and authenticity. Your clients will resonate or connect with some illusions more than others. Have them start with those to which they feel most drawn, exercising their intuitive powers.

This four-step process is without a doubt the best way I’ve found to dismantle the illusions and live into greatness.

Begin exactly from where you are today. After all, that’s the only place a person can begin, right?

CHANGING MY CIRCUMSTANCES BY CHANGING MYSELF

As I explored and decided to dissolve each of the seven illusions in my life, new opportunities “miraculously” appeared. I’ve discovered the true power of synchronicity and I’ll never go back to my old hiding places!

In the fall of 2002, I was accepted into a program to create a brand image for my business led by one of the top coaches in the industry. It was here that the hidden gifts offered through past experiences were revealed. I realized how these experiences had given me a high degree of empathy, compassion, strength, and leadership ability. Once I lifted some of the illusions, I began to see myself as a leader.

It was through consistent action that my new thoughts and beliefs about myself began to manifest in physical form. I was challenged to show up in the world, not as the timid person I thought I was, but as the independent and bold person I really am. Struggle isn’t necessarily easy to release, but I made every effort to set boundaries and communicate differently.

Again, through synchronistic events, I moved up through the ranks of coaching quickly, establishing respected leadership roles and forming many lasting friendships and relationships. I’ve learned to see every event as a new opportunity. Everyone I’ve met along the way has become a friend in some way. I have lost my fear of asking for what I want. I am not afraid to seek and get interviews with amazing, well-known people. I feel that no person is outside my reach, and many of these amazing people were interviewed for this book. I have also created strategic alliances with people and organizations I’ve long admired. Most importantly, I have stopped waiting for someone to figure out my greatness. Instead, I have found ways to live into that every day by continually stretching myself, asking questions, examining my fears, and building a supportive environment.

Finally, this book uses a coaching approach in which service plays a major role. Regardless of your connection to those you’re trying to help, you are in their service as a guide, mentor, coach, and leader. I refer to you as the coach and those with whom you work as your clients or coachees as a matter of convenience, but also because you are indeed a coach. You might add water to the Slip N’ Slide® or help them get the hose or find the faucet. You are an active participant in their process, and as such, you have as much responsibility to learn and grow as they. You are the coach, just as you are a student. As you read this book and begin applying the principles and practices to your work, remember this key phrase: Struggle is strictly overrated!

NOW IT’S YOUR TURN

Everyone has the capability to succeed. As you’ll discover by reading the profiles of those who are truly Living into their Greatness, one’s current circumstances are irrelevant. Each of these individuals has overcome significant odds simply by refusing to live in illusion and by taking persistent and consistent action. They decided they would, and could, do that thing they wanted to do, and they let nothing stop them. One of my friends and colleagues, Dr. Ivan Misner, who is interviewed in this book, defines success as “the uncommon application of common knowledge.” The purpose of this book is to help you uncommonly apply the knowledge that you and your clients are already great.

Decide now that you will no longer just get by in life. Choose to be fully alive and fully engaged in Living into Greatness!

CHAPTER ONE

A New Way of Being

You were born with potential.You were born with goodness and trust.You were born with ideals and dreams.You were born with greatness.You were born with wings.You are not meant for crawling, so don’t.You have wings.Learn to use them and fly.

RUMI

We’re built for great things. We naturally want to be a part of and contribute to greatness. It’s who we are.

I’ve had my share of challenges, heartbreaks, and other assorted “human moments.” You’ll get a glimpse of these throughout the book. It’s not that my life is better, worse, or different from yours or the people you coach and work with. That’s exactly the point. We all have ups and downs, ins and outs. That’s life. It’s how we face what happens in our lives that is compelling. In the last few years, I feel like I’ve come out of a deep sleep, like I’ve finally understood the point of a movie I’ve watched over and over for many years.

Here’s the interesting part: Even though I’m doing things I’ve never done, I feel more like myself than I have ever felt before.

Truly being alive is the purest intention of this book. As I mentioned in the Introduction, you’ll hear me repeat two phrases: Doing What You Can Do, and Living into your Greatness. When I talk about Living or Coaching into Greatness, I’m referring to the aliveness that happens when we’re actively participating in life as our true selves. We’ve stepped out of the satin-lined coffin, broken the shackles of the illusion that we’re anything other than great, and we’re embracing every little bit that life has to offer. It’s an exhilarating feeling! It’s when we do exactly what we can do, in spite of any overwhelming odds or evidence to the contrary.

How about you? Are you alive? I mean really alive? Vibrantly, boldly alive? Or are you going through the motions, reacting to life as it happens—simply existing? I’m alive, you say, I’m breathing, aren’t I? I have a good job and a family with 2.5 kids and a house. I manage to golf once a week.

But are you alive? Are you doing what you can or want to do? Are you experiencing the fullness of life? Are you Living into your Greatness? Do you even have an idea what it might mean to Live into your Greatness?

If you can proudly and boldly answer, “Yes! I am living an amazing life and Living into my Greatness more every day,” then hooray for you! This book should give you the perfect tools to get out there and help others Live into their Greatness.

The truth is that we’re all learning all the time. I’m learning and Living a little more into my Greatness as I write and revise this book. As you read these words you can rest assured that I’m living my life more as me than I was when I started the book. I’ve chosen to do what I can do in spite of all the little voices from the past that wanted me to quit.

HOW YOU SHOW UP IN LIFE IS WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT

You must first be who you really are, then, do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.

MARGARET YOUNG

We live in a universe of opposites: up—down; in—out; good—bad. We don’t pay a lot of attention to the opposites, but we should. Everything is a choice. We can go up, or we can go down; in or out. We see things as good or bad. Every choice we make is based on some—often long-held—belief. These choices define how we show up in life, and whether we’re living a life of scarcity or a life of abundance. Like a teeter-totter, we’re always moving from one side to the other, more often than not getting thoroughly stuck on our least favorite side!

We show up in life according to our beliefs. If we think that getting laid off from a job is bad news, then we show up depressed or angry. If we think the layoff is good news, we’ll show up excited and relieved. It’s the same job, and the same loss. The only thing that makes the difference is our perception of what is happening, and this perception is based on the lens through which we view the world. The amazing thing that many people don’t get is that how you show up in business is directly proportional to how you show up in life. Your beliefs, perceptions, assumptions, and attitude about life directly impact your career and the way you do business.

Many label this the “soft side” of business and discount the value of such a discussion. And yet, despite all our speeches and charades and hard work, at the end of the day, we can’t get away from ourselves. Hard as we try, we can’t get out of our own skins. We bring our personal problems to work and we bring our work problems home.

Similarly, whether you see life as abundant and rich or scarce and threatening impacts how you show up in business and in life. The people you coach or work with choose abundance or choose scarcity, and these choices create the results they see every day. In business, many like to keep the personal out of the boardroom, but try as we might, we are not machines. At some point, who we are (or who we are trying to be) surfaces—either causing problems or causing celebration.

This book is about helping you, your coaching clients, or your employees remember who they are so that they can live lives of celebration and can have businesses of celebration. This book is an experience—it’s more about unlearning and remembering than learning and discovering. And at the center of this unlearning and rediscovery is the choice of abundance or scarcity.

THE OLD WAY OF THINKING—THE TRUTH ABOUT SCARCITY

To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.

OSCAR WILDE

Scarcity is the currency of our times. We hear about everything that isn’t working, the devastation, the deception, and the destruction. It seems the entire world population is bent on getting what they can from a limited supply. We’re so focused on what we don’t have that we think other people have, that we’re driven to do more and become more. And yet, we’re told that anything we want is just a swipe of a charge card away. Three hundred different kinds of toothpaste—there’s something for everyone. Take out that loan, buy that lottery ticket. Which is it? Is the world richly abundant, or limited and scarce?

The topic of scarcity usually revolves around discussions about limited resources—air, water, minerals, oil, money, and the like. It’s all about physical limitations and physical scarcity. We all know that the best way to jack prices up for a new and popular product is to create a limited supply. “Act now or you’ll miss out!” Society, and especially modern culture, has always focused on external scarcity—the scarcity of things, or even of ideas.

In his landmark book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey introduced the idea of scarcity mentality, which took the concept of scarcity from our outside environment to an inner environment. In this context, Covey defines a scarcity mentality to be a belief that the pie of life is only so big and there isn’t enough of it to go around.

I’m taking this concept of scarcity a step further. I’m going to push the edge and challenge your beliefs about scarcity. Saying you’ll simply drop your scarcity mentality and take on new habits is like saying you’ll avoid mosquito bites by pretending mosquitoes don’t exist. Scarcity mentality exists in some form in all of us. What’s important is understanding how this way of thinking keeps people stuck in business and life, and then changing the thinking by changing what goes on inside the person, not outside.