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- Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
- Kategorie: Fachliteratur
- Sprache: Englisch
Connect, engage, motivate, and inspire using top coaching techniques Coaching Up! is about inspiring those who matter to you to achieve peak performance. Whether you are a coach, a business leader, a civic activist, a teacher, a counselor, or a parent, this book will offer you a powerful, highly effective way to connect to the people you care about and move them forward toward their best selves. In sports, coaches have developed ways of connecting with their players quickly in the "heat of the battle," inspiring them to perform to their fullest potential and "leave it all on the field." Interestingly, although these techniques have not been codified, great coaches have independently developed remarkably similar models. This book aligns these techniques and distills their essence into a fundamental skill set that anyone can use to connect with, support, and inspire his or her colleagues, teammates, friends, and family members. At its foundation, great coaching is based on a solid set of techniques that can be applied to all areas of life. Essentially, those skills boil down to forging authentic connections, providing genuine support, and offering concise direction. While our everyday pressures may be less intense than those of a championship, the long-term game is even more important. Why not borrow from the best to develop the skills and abilities to win every day? * Inspire and motivate people to higher performance * Improve communication in high-stakes situations * Be more effective both professionally and socially Getting inside the way great coaching works gives you an unparalleled glimpse at the core of inspiration. A great coach can make the difference between a mediocre player and a world champion. What would that difference look like if you could inspire every colleague in your business? Everyone who matters to you in your personal life? You can be the source of empowerment and motivation that helps the people around you reach higher, go further, and achieve more. Coaching Up! gives you the game plan--and shows you how to run the plays.
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Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2016
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Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Praise for Coaching Up!
Foreword
In the Beginning…
Finding Connection and Support
Playing for Coach K
Accepting a Life-Changing Direction
On Playing on a Winning Team
About Shane Battier
Introduction
Why This Book?
Who Can Use the Coaching Up Model?
Chapter 1: How the Coaching Up Model Works
An Actual Coaching Up Conversation
In Contrast, the Showboat Approach
The Rewards of Coaching Up Conversations
Chapter 2: Building an Authentic Connection
If Possible, Choose the Setting for Maximum Comfort
Greet Your Player Warmly and Personally
The Physical Greeting—or Not
A Brilliant Casual Greeting
Begin the Conversation with a Human Connection, Not a Functional One
Keep Your Posture Relaxed, and Speak Slowly, Clearly, and Thoughtfully
Stay Focused on Your Player
Practice Humor and Humility
How CoachUp Coaches Feel about Building Connections with Their Athletes
Chapter 3: Providing Genuine Support
Offer Positive Feedback
Share a Broader View
Remove Obstacles in Your Player's Path
But What about Negative Feedback?
Chapter 4: Offering Concise Direction
Ways to Offer Concise Direction
Chapter 5: Making It Work at Work
Revisiting the Pareto Principle
Adopting a Truly Transformative Mental Model
Matters of Leadership Style and Behavior
Regularly Scheduled Meetings with Colleagues
Chapter 6: Taking It Home to the Family
A Coaching Up Conversation with a Child
Building an Authentic Connection
Providing Authentic Support
Offering Concise Direction
Chapter 7: Keeping It Real
If Possible, Choose the Setting for Maximum Comfort
Greet Your Player Warmly and Personally
Begin the Conversation with a Human Connection, Not a Functional One
Keep Your Posture Relaxed, and Speak Slowly, Clearly, and Thoughtfully
Stay Focused on Your Player
Practice Humor and Humility
A Final Word
Bibliography and Suggested Reading
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Index
End User License Agreement
Guide
Cover
Table of Contents
Begin Reading
Chapter 1
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Coaching Up!
Inspiring Peak Performance When It Matters Most
Jordan Fliegelwith Kathleen Landis Lancaster
Cover design: WileyCover image: © bjdlzx/Getty Images, Inc.
Copyright © 2016 by Jordan Lancaster Fliegel and Kathleen Landis Lancaster.All rights reserved.
Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.Published simultaneously in Canada.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, (978) 750-8400, fax (978) 750-4470, or on the web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748-6011, fax (201) 748-6008, or online at www.wiley.com/go/permissions.
Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages.
For general information on our other products and services or for technical support, please contact our Customer Care Department within the United States at (800) 762-2974, outside the United States at (317) 572-3993 or fax (317) 572-4002.
Wiley also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some content that appears in print may not be available in electronic books. For more information about Wiley products, visit our website at www.wiley.com.
ISBN 978-1-119-23111-0 (cloth); ISBN 978-1-119-23119-6 (ePDF); ISBN 978-119-23113-4 (ePub)
Dedication
This book is for all the fathers who have steadfastly coached me up over the years: my devoted father and best friend, Dorian Fliegel; my terrific stepfather, Michael Keating; my magnificent godfather, Guido Goldman; and my unfailingly supportive honorary father, Elliot Levine; and for my beloved one and only mother, Kathleen Lancaster, who suggested to me some decades back that it might be a good idea to write things down from time to time, and who is still helping me do it.
With all my love,JLF
Praise for Coaching Up!
“Jordan Fliegel was an outstanding basketball player who became a brilliant coach and entrepreneur. He brought all three skill sets together in founding CoachUp, Inc., which is so masterfully enabling thousands of coaches and players to work together. Now he is offering all of us his original, creative, and eminently implementable ideas in this remarkable book, which will appeal to everyone who coaches or is coached in sports, business, or any other activity.”
—Marc Gerson, Cofounder and Chairman of Gerson Lehrman Group, Thuzio, United Hatzalah, African Mission Healthcare Foundation, and United Rescue
“Jordan's success as an athlete and entrepreneur can be attributed to his keen understanding of the elements of effective leadership—whether on the court or in the boardroom. Coaching Up! is a fantastic read for you if you believe in building genuine relationships with teammates, colleagues, and friends—especially if you want to know how to provide active support and how to inspire success.”
—John Harthorne, Cofounder and CEO of MassChallenge, a startup-friendly accelerator whose 835 alumni have raised $1.4 billion, generated $575 million, and created 8,500 jobs globally to date
“Jordan Fliegel's insights and guidelines, based on firsthand experience with professional athletes and top-notch coaches, apply equally well to the coaching needed by students, aspiring entrepreneurs, and executives struggling to meet the challenges of development and growth, as well as to those working to succeed on the playing field.”
—Edward Roberts, Professor, MIT Sloan School of Management, Founder and Chair, MIT Entrepreneurship Center (now the Trust Center for MIT Entrepreneurship)
“Coaching Up! soars above the array of books on how to be a good coach or leader by literally practicing what it preaches. In this engagingly written book, Jordan Fliegel addresses his readers directly in a frank, first-person conversation about how inspirational leadership actually works. In doing so, he creates with us exactly the kind of connection he describes as the basis for coaching someone up, i.e., what any writer, coach, executive, or parent aspires to: an authentic and heartening relationship with his or her readers, players, colleagues, or family members.”
—Adele Pressman, Child Psychiatrist; Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School; Author of Pump Prout: a Little League Novel; and the mother of two Division I athletes
“The way people work has radically changed, and as business leaders we need to evolve our approach to coaching, too. Jordan really gets this and provides actionable guidance for leaders to create the right environment for employee growth and transformation.”
—Brian Halligan, Cofounder and CEO of HubSpot; Author of Inbound Marketing: Attract, Engage, and Delight Customers Online
“Employee coaching is such an important part of a successful company culture. As Coaching Up! emphasizes, guidance and transparency are more important than ever. They can be the deciding factors between a mediocre and a remarkable company.”
—Dharmesh Shah, Cofounder and CTO of HubSpot; Author of Inbound Marketing: Attract, Engage, and Delight Customers Online
“In Coaching Up! Jordan Fliegel demonstrates how the best coaches build trusting relationships, focus on strengths, and give specific timely guidance for effective action. Vibrant coaching success stories and proven techniques make this book an essential read for all management and life coaches, and for everyone exercising leadership in families and organizations.”
—Joan Bragar, EdD, Author of Leading for Results: Five Practices to Use in Your Personal and Professional Life
“I have always been an overachiever. Growing up in a family in which my mom and dad were married and divorced four times each and I had lived in 17 apartments by the time I was 18, with a lot of violence in the family unit, I was lucky to have sports and some great mentors to guide me toward a better future. Growing up, I did not have tools like the ones found in Coaching Up! That's the bad news. The good news is that reading Coaching Up! has given me great new tools for leadership and for life. I will use these tools to continue to drive and refocuse my energy, not only for myself, but also for the benefit of my close business, entertainment, and political associates. Congratulations, Jordan.”
—Scott Brown, former U.S. Senator and Fox News Contributor
Foreword
I'm thrilled to be writing this foreword to Coaching Up! The fact is, I feel passionate about coaching. To me, coaching means having the ability to move people from point A to point B—taking them one step closer to maximizing who they are and becoming whoever they want to be. It's an undervalued skill in our society. People who serve as that kind of catalyst for others are truly exceptional.
I have a deeply personal reason for appreciating the impact coaching can have: coaching made me who I am. I literally wouldn't be where I am in my life without the people who coached me along the way. I've been extraordinarily lucky to have worked with some of the greatest coaches of all time. Each of them has challenged me, pushed me, and helped me along on my journey. In fact they personified, each in his own way, the three core elements of the Coaching Up Model you'll find presented in this book: building an authentic connection, providing genuine support, and offering concise direction—along with a whole lot more. They made me a better player, a better team member, and a better man.
In the end, my legacy as an athlete isn't how many points I scored or how many charges I took. Looking over my career, I see two seminal achievements: the fact that I was a multiple champion at every level, from Little League to two National Basketball Association (NBA) championships, and the fact that I was always one of my teammates' favorite teammates. Both of those achievements stemmed directly from the brilliant coaching I received along the way.
But before I get into a few of the most valuable ways my coaches connected with me, supported me, and offered me direction, let me tell you a little bit about how my journey began.
In the Beginning…
The greatest coach I ever played for, hands down, was my dad, Ed Battier, known to one and all as Big Ed. I grew up in Birmingham, Michigan, in a very sports-oriented family. Sports were just always present; in fact I learned to read from the sports pages of the newspaper. My younger brother, Jeremy, and my dad and I spent a lot of time together watching sports and playing them.
I was so lucky to have a dad who was a part of my journey every step of the way, from an early age. He was my baseball coach every single year, he was my football coach every single year, but he was never my basketball coach. And that's ironic, because he had a storied career playing for his army base's basketball team in Mannheim, Germany, where he was stationed. His claim to fame, which he never let me forget, was that he once scored 50 points in a game. I never scored 50 points in any game, so Big Ed's got one up on me.
But no matter which sports I was playing, and which teams he was coaching, the personal coaching I got from my dad in the front yard never centered on technique. It was never about “You need to hold your elbow at this angle, or you need to have a high knee kick.” Instead, what he taught me—what he showed me—was enthusiasm, dedication, and discipline. He was just always present and unfailingly willing to practice. Whenever I said, “Dad, let's play catch,” he would always grab his glove and say, “Let's go.”
My dad worked at a steel transportation company for 40 years. He hauled steel, warehoused steel. It was the blue-collar mentality, the assembly-line mentality: every day you show up, you punch in, you do what you do; at the end of the day you punch out, you go and have a beer, and you go home to your family. And the next day you get up and do it again.
That's what I call toughness, and discipline, and living a principled life. Today, being a dad myself, I realize how tired he must have been, coming home at the end of the day. But I never once heard him complain about having to go to baseball practice or having to coach the football team, let alone tossing a ball with me. He really was—and still is—an amazing man in that regard.
He was also a very impressive man generally. For one thing, he was the only black guy in the whole town of Birmingham, Michigan. For another, he was huge: big biceps and a hulking presence. Growing up, I thought he was the strongest dad in the world. So he commanded attention immediately. No one ever messed with Big Ed. Every team I was on that he coached always gave him immense respect.
In his team coaching and in our casual games and practices at home, he taught me several key lessons that were seminal to my development as an athlete and as a man. Those lessons, which he harped on every day, were the same ones I took with me to the NBA finals in 2013. He constantly talked about, and demanded, hustle, sportsmanship, attitude, communication (also known as chatter), and looking sharp.
Here, in brief, is Big Ed on those five key lessons:
Hustle:
He would never outright yell at his teams to hustle. If he felt that we were loafing, he would shout, “Hey, hey, hey, let's go!” in a booming voice that told everyone to put some pep in their step. It always worked.
Sportsmanship:
If you focused on Big Ed right at the end of a game, you would not know whether we won or lost because his reaction was always the same: he would hustle over to the opposing coaches and offer a huge smile, a handshake, and big compliments on the completed game. We learned always to respect our opponent regardless of the outcome.
Attitude:
One of the rare times my dad would raise his voice was when he saw somebody get down on a teammate or, even worse, down on himself. He would say, “Come on, Shane, you can do it! Now act like it! You have to believe! Change your attitude.” There was no room for negativity on our teams.
Communication/chatter:
If you were out in the outfield and you weren't verbally supporting your pitcher and your teammates, if you weren't engaging in chatter on the field, you were going to hear it from Big Ed—and no one wanted to hear it from Big Ed. You always supported each teammate verbally and let him know you had his back. Sports were not a silent activity.
Looking sharp:
If you looked sharp, with your shirt tucked in, you were going to play sharp. If you practiced sharp and took batting practice or fielding sharp, you were going to play a sharp game. Everything was about game speed and game focus—amazing habits to build.
These are invaluable lessons that I have carried with me every step of the way.
But the single most important lesson I learned from Big Ed was this: when you're playing a team sport, the team comes first. With him, it was never about individual success. My dad never praised me individually for how many runs I scored or whatever—it was always “Wow, how great was our team tonight!”
He's not a man of many words. He never said, “I'm going to teach you the lessons of how to be a great teammate or how to be a champion.” But that's exactly what he did teach me. I've learned so much just from being around him, from how he carries himself.
He's the reason I have the legacy I have today, no question about it. Because of his coaching, my aim was always to make every teammate better, from the best players to the thirteenth man on the team, the guy who couldn't hit at all. My dad always taught me that every team member deserves your respect and your support. So that was how I related to my teammates.
When I talk with my childhood buddies who also played with Big Ed, we all marvel at the way he had with all of us. The only time he raised his voice was when one of us was not being a great teammate. That was it. There was never a tirade, ever. There was never a dressing down. Of course, if you didn't hustle up the field, you were going to hear his deep, booming voice—“Hey, hey, hey, let's go!”—which scared the living hell out of you.
But it was done respectfully, and with love. I know that, to this day, all my teammates I grew up playing Little League with would say that Coach Battier—Big Ed—coached with love.
Finding Connection and Support
So, Big Ed gave me my base. After his teaching, I played under a lot of coaches, from childhood up through high school, various camps, college, and the pros. And going in the door, I always respected my coaches. I believed that coaches occupied a position that deserved that respect. I also believed that they deserved my energy, my focus, and the benefit of the doubt, and I gave them all those things.
But my journey wasn't an easy one—far from it. It's pretty obvious, when you're 6 feet tall in sixth grade and 6′4″ in seventh grade and 6′8″ in eighth grade, that you've got the right body type for basketball. But there's so much more to the game than height and athleticism. I've been so fortunate to have just terrific coaches, who've shown me not only the technical and tactical aspects of the game, but the psychological and strategic aspects as well, and who have enhanced every step of my journey. Moreover, they saw the potential in me and had the patience and the foresight to invest their energy in me.
For instance, my Amateur Athletic Union coach, Burk Kozlowksi; my assistant high school coach, Jay Schwartz; and my high school coach, Kurt Keener, all spent an incredible number of hours in the gym with me. I was a total gym rat. I was the equivalent of a Labrador retriever that would keep fetching the ball and fetching the ball till his joints gave out. I was constantly in the gym. And to have my coaches join me there, and come along on the journey because they believed in me…that was an unbelievable motivator.
Not only did they help me hone my skills and boost my confidence, but also, thanks to them, I realized that I wasn't alone. And that was amazing. All that effort, all that striving and striving, can be a pretty lonely thing. Plus you're a kid: you can't grasp everything psychologically; you're just trying to get through puberty alive.
I'm pretty sure that every kid that age experiences uncomfortable self-consciousness and some degree of loneliness. In my case, those feelings were exacerbated by the fact that I was always an outlier. For me, the ultimate motivator was always fear. I was scared that I wasn't good enough, that whatever success I had was just a dream, that I'd wake up and I'd be by myself.
The main thing that defined me as an individual was growing up mixed, with a black father and a white mother. At Pembroke Elementary School, my buddy Eddie Toma was the token Hispanic, and I was the token black kid. Everyone else was white. When you're just trying to fit in, that's tough for a kid to digest.
And so, on class picture day, when everyone got a comb, I got a pick. And there I was, an outlier, a foot taller than everybody else and the black kid. And when I went into downtown Detroit to get some competition at basketball, the brothers were saying, “Look at that kid from the suburbs who talks so white; look at him.” So no matter where I went, I was always different.
But in the end there was one kind of place where I did fit in: on the local sandlot, on the basketball court, and on the kickball field. I realized at an early age that when I helped people win, they liked me and I did fit in. So for me, winning was a social survival tool. And it wasn't about winning by dazzling everybody else with my skills. It was about winning by helping our team—all of us—feel good and play our best. So that's where I learned it. And that's what my legacy is to this day: I always played, at every level, to make whatever team I was on as good as it could be.
So, that was a seminal period in my life; it shaped me, and I wouldn't change it for anything. It was hard as hell when I went through it, but it galvanized me. And having great guides along at my side, acting as a stabilizing force, a motivating force, and allies—that was invaluable.
