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Through a series of real life stories, Lucy inspires you to expedite your personal development journey and live your best life by design.
From China to America, from failed acting audition frustrations to alignment, from loneliness and stress to a life of fulfillment, from high school drop out to becoming a podcaster, coach, and author, this is a book of optimism, joy and motivation.
“Lucy Liu’s book is a great guide to building true confidence as she shares these decision making tips to help you move forward in your journey. As someone who talks about confidence, this is another great resource to have by your side when building your confidence in business and life.”
Sheena Yap Chan — Wall Street Journal Bestselling Author and Podcast Host of “The Tao Of Self Confidence,” Keynote Speaker, and Consultant on Self-confidence and Leadership
“Real. Raw. Relatable. Lucy fearlessly lays bare her own struggles and vulnerabilities, inviting readers on an emotionally charged journey of
self-discovery and growth. Through her candid and relatable anecdotes,
Lucy inspires readers to confront their own inner shadows with newfound courage and compassion. This book is a powerful guide to embracing our imperfections, fears, and doubts which lead to profound personal transformation and genuine connections with others.”
Lauren Smith — Business Strategist, Author, Mentor, Podcast Host of “Master Your Mind, Business and Life” and “Awaken Your Soul.”
“I read a lot of self-help, inspirational pieces, but this one really stuck with me. It felt deeply personal and honest, while also offering helpful insights and actionable ways to make improvements in life!”
Sydney Owens — Founder and Owner of Chicken Scratch, LLC
“Life is but a series of decisions. Lucy Liu eloquently shares stories and perspectives to help you navigate the art of decision making by transforming your mindset and living your purpose. Step into your own transformative power and make better decisions, large and small, and begin living the life you are called to live by following Lucy’s journey of overcoming fear to transform and step into her life purpose - to help you discover what you can do to live the life you’ve dreamed of.”
Robyn Graham — Marketing and Lead Generation Strategist, Host of “The Robyn Graham Show,” Author of “You, Me, and Anxiety”
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Seitenzahl: 121
Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2023
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“Lucy Liu’s book is a great guide to building true confidence as she shares these decision making tips to help you move forward in your journey. As someone who talks about confidence, this is another great resource to have by your side when building your confidence in business and life.”
Sheena Yap Chan — Wall Street Journal Bestselling Author and Podcast Host of “The Tao Of Self Confidence,” Keynote Speaker, and Consultant on Self-confidence and Leadership
“Real. Raw. Relatable. Lucy fearlessly lays bare her own struggles and vulnerabilities, inviting readers on an emotionally charged journey of self-discovery and growth. Through her candid and relatable anecdotes, Lucy inspires readers to confront their own inner shadows with newfound courage and compassion. This book is a powerful guide to embracing our imperfections, fears, and doubts which lead to profound personal transformation and genuine connections with others.”
Lauren Smith — Business Strategist, Author, Mentor, Podcast Host of “Master Your Mind, Business and Life” and “Awaken Your Soul.”
“I read a lot of self-help, inspirational pieces, but this one really stuck with me. It felt deeply personal and honest, while also offering helpful insights and actionable ways to make improvements in life!”
Sydney Owens — Founder and Owner of Chicken Scratch, LLC
“Life is but a series of decisions. Lucy Liu eloquently shares stories and perspectives to help you navigate the art of decision making by transforming your mindset and living your purpose. Step into your own transformative power and make better decisions, large and small, and begin living the life you are called to live by following Lucy’s journey of overcoming fear to transform and step into her life purpose - to help you discover what you can do to live the life you’ve dreamed of.”
Robyn Graham — Marketing and Lead Generation Strategist, Host of “The Robyn Graham Show,” Author of “You, Me, and Anxiety”
Copyright © 2023 by Lucy Liu
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-962333-00-9
No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher or author, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law.
This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that neither the author nor the publisher is engaged in rendering legal, investment, accounting or other professional services. While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional when appropriate. Neither the publisher nor the author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, personal, or other damages.
Book Cover by Zoe Zhang
Dedicated to Annabelle
Dear Daughter,
I’m blown away by how incredibly smart you are and how sharp your mind is. I’m thankful for how you recognize emotions and try to comfort me in those needed moments.
You, my sweet girl, are wise beyond your years, and I’m so excited because I know great things are in store for you.
Every day I wake up and wonder how I can be a better mom for you, to set the best example for you, so you can be the best version of yourself and live the most epic life you deserve.
Thank you for being my daughter and for being the sweetest angel that you are!
Mommy loves you to the moon and back and can’t wait to witness your beautiful life journey.
Oozes of love, always
Preface
Hi there, beautiful souls!
I wrote this book for you because I know you are a no-BS type of person.
You started your business or line of work to live the life of your choosing. You are successful in what you do.
Not only are you committed and willing to do the work, but you also seek to learn and continue to rapidly accelerate along the path to your desired results.
Maybe you already have enough money to take care of basic needs. Maybe you already live in your dream house, travel when and where you want, drive your dream car, and regularly hit your goals. But, maybe, it still feels like something is missing.
You still have this inner desire to change something you know needs to be changed.
And I believe you will. I believe you can, even more than you believe in yourself.
Contemplating the past 40 years, I didn’t have a specific turning point or sudden epiphany which changed the course of my life.
But at 40 years old, I truly believe it is these decisions I made over the years which got me to where I am today.
If anything I say inspires you to make a mindset shift or to better your life, please share by tagging me @mslucyliu and #confidentandepic.
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Decision #1 Mindset Shift
The powerhouse of the human body is the brain, but its driver is the mind. The mind controls everything we do along with how we react to what life throws at us. It is a hidden truth most people shy away from until they eventually have an experience that changes everything. We can only achieve within the capacity of our mindset.
Mindset is a set of beliefs which shape how we make sense of the world and events happening around us. Our mindset influences how we think, feel, and behave in any given situation. However, our mindset changes from moment to moment as different occurrences shape us and influence our thoughts.
Psychologists believe the mindset can be characterized as one of two types: the fixed mindset and the growth mindset. If we have a fixed mindset, then we believe our abilities and how we see things are fixed and, therefore, cannot be changed. We may also believe our talents and intelligence alone help us achieve success, and effort is not required. On the other hand, if we have a growth mindset, then we believe our talents and abilities can be developed over time through effort, persistence, and sometimes special moments which help our mindset to shift.
Many years ago, I witnessed a life-changing event which did some damage to my mind. This experience made me see things differently, and it troubled me for many years. I witnessed the death of a helpless boy in a hole made of shallow water.
The little boy was right beside me when he fell into the hole—a hole so deep, he toppled right in and never came out. At the time, I had no idea what life and death really meant, but I learned on this particular day that water had the power to swallow someone. There was screaming, plenty of crying, and massive panic all around, and what began as a beautiful day at the reservoir quickly turned into a five-year-old’s worst nightmare. The hole was too deep for anyone around to help him.
This experience changed my mindset, making me view water in a new light. It is so calm and peaceful, yet it can be so dangerous. Before, I used to look forward to my parents taking me to the beach, but my feelings changed after I witnessed the death of that boy. Water became an enemy, and I would do anything just to avoid coming close to it. But, life always finds a way to make you face your deepest fears, and when it does, you either conquer the fear or fall prey to it.
I never told anyone this story until I became confident enough to share my fears and open myself up to the world. The memories and details are immensely vague, but the feelings are deeply ingrained. For many years, I felt fearful of the clear water of pools, agitation toward the moving currents of the ocean, anxiety over lakes, trepidation for reservoirs, and even dismay at the thought of drinking water. I would feel a cold chill go down my spine whenever I set my eyes on any body of water, even a calm flowing water. I wondered how something so calm and peaceful could also be so dangerous. And I hated myself for it along the way.
The struggle intensified in high school because a pass on the school’s swimming proficiency exam was required for graduation. It felt like a death sentence to me, but I did not dare miss that test for anything. I guess the fear of a bad future was stronger than my fear of death by water. I practiced for a whole month at my best friend’s house for this daunting test, which I was only able to pass by swimming with my head out of the water. Treading water for three minutes and swimming laps with my head raised above the water left my neck strained; it most certainly messed with my back, and my lungs endured substantial pain to the point where I had trouble breathing for the rest of the day.
Sometimes in life, we need to do things that feel impossible just to get what we want. If I had had a choice between running up a mountain and passing the swimming test, then I guess I would have discovered the height of Mount Everest. I was greatly terrified at any sight of water to the extent I tried to avoid anything that might make me see it. But life always comes with a different plan from what we all want and wish for.
For over 30 years, I was never able to swim with my head underwater. But almost a year after becoming a life coach, I realized that if I was talking the talk, then I needed to walk the walk and overcome my own fear. One day when my daughter asked me to put my head down and swim under water with her, I did it. That moment changed my thinking and mindset around life and fears. I felt like a hero who had fought a thousand wars and conquered. I felt like a proud parent, for the love of my daughter was way stronger than my fear of water.
This was a revelation for me, and it cut across all aspects of life. It has always been a struggle, but my determination to show strength and commitment to my daughter was another level of flex. This lesson proves that we all need to overcome that one fear before we can come out stronger from every challenge or fear we face in the future. Mindset is the key to conquering anything. In my wildest dreams, I wouldn’t have imagined myself swimming with my head under the water. But no matter the challenge you face in this life, no matter how terrifying that thing may be, your mindset is the determining factor between winning and being afraid to try.
Journal prompt #1
I made a decision to shift my mindset. While mindset is a moment-to-moment shift, it only takes one decision to change our lives. What is one belief you’ve been holding on to for way too long that you know it’s time to let go? Let’s make a decision to change that.
Decision #2 Life Purpose
Besides swimming, my biggest fear was death.
Occasionally in class, I would doodle in my college-ruled notebook a cement headstone with the big letters R.I.P. on it. Grass crawled around the headstone, and the name was forever forgotten.
I’ll never forget all those nights of insomnia, laying in darkness with cold chills running down my spine. My fear of death often led to anxiety and a sense of unease. Other times, I also experienced an increased heart rate, sweating, trembling, and shortness of breath when confronted with the idea of death.
For so many years, I dwelled on the idea of why I feared death. Could it be because I was scared to experience excruciating pain and suffering? I couldn’t even imagine what patients dying from cancer or other terminal illnesses felt or how frightening it would be to face the end, for it to be so near.
Could it be that I hated the idea of not having control? Death remains something which we have absolutely no control over. I’ve always sought control over my life, but I know deep down that birth, aging, sickness, and death are four things in life which can never be controlled by the self. The idea that there is no way to avoid this risk gives me chills.
Thank God I can rule out the fear of eternal punishment. Regardless of my religious or spiritual beliefs, I don’t believe I will be punished for what I did in this life. I take every action knowing I am in full alignment with the results of my actions leading me to a better place in the afterlife.
My eventual conclusion was that my fear was not actually death—it was the fear of the unknown and the notion of being nonexistent. Death is the ultimate unknown in life because no one in the history of humanity has survived it to tell us the reality of what happens after we take our last breaths.
But even more importantly, I was not living my life’s purpose.
Feeling like you’re not living your life’s purpose can evoke a range of emotions and sensations, and the experience may vary from person to person. For me, this looked like a lack of fulfillment. I felt a persistent sense of emptiness and dissatisfaction despite my accomplishments. If we are disconnected from our life purpose, then we might feel like something important is missing or a general feeling of discontentment.
At several points in my life, I’ve felt stuck and stagnant, frustrated and restless. Only later did I learn those were all nagging signs that there is actually something more meaningful or significant I should be doing in this life.
I started to feel a desire for a deeper sense of meaning in life and a more profound impact on the world. I yearned for a greater sense of contribution, a feeling that my actions align with my values and passions.
