Connecting with China E-Book

Joan Turley

• Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
• Kategorie: Fachliteratur
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 412

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2010

Beschreibung

If you are prepared to connect with China, it will make all the difference.

Joan Turley provides all the signposts and insights to help those working with China understand the value of relationships and the importance of people as the key elements in making business and everything else work. This extremely powerful book will unlock your ability to build working relationships with China, for mutual success.

"The book provides an invaluable reference for all businesses with any current or future interest of building a successful relationship with China. This is a topic that is as complicated and diffuse as the Chinese language itself and a reference such as this can save both time and money."
—David Paice, Marketing Manager, Cathay Pacific

"Joan Turley's deep and delicate observation is really refreshing and practical and her understanding about China goes beyond my expectations. I believe Ms. Turley's new book will not only be welcomed by the British people but the Chinese people as well."
—Dizun Chen, Director of the General Office, Liaoning Provincial Party Committee

"Joan Turley has great insight as well as ability to interpret different cultures for each other. Her knowledge is thorough as she has both academic and practical business experience of China. Her book has relevance both to the West and to China."
—Mr Huo, President, North Media

"An indispensable handbook for developing successful UK/China business relationships. For an industry which thrives on ideas which turn customer understanding into commercial or social advantage, Joan's insights into Chinese culture and thinking are both instructive and relevant."
—Janet Hull, Consultant Head, Marketing and Reputation Management, IPA

"The chapter on Law and Successful Relationships in China is a must for any lawyer wanting to do business in that part of the world."
—Eifion Morris, Partner, Stephenson Harwood, Law Firm of the Year 2009

"An authoritative and informative insight into conducting business in China, from an original standpoint that gives practical advice to both those with existing business and those approaching the Chinese market for the first time."
—Philip Moore, Asia-Pacific Manager, Andor Plc

"Turley has taken her vast experience in working closely with Chinese companies, government and individuals to deliver robust advice on developing strategic and long term business relationships through communication, relationship development and sound planning and research."
—Barry Allaway, Managing Director, Worldwide Magazine Distribution

Joan Turley has enormous understanding working successfully with China. Pivotal to her success is the understanding that connectivity is the key to building relationships, and it is this that will ultimately determine your success in business culture. Connecting with China aims to facilitate a smooth path for all those at the brink of working with China, or who are already involved but need further guidance.

Understanding the forces that shape Chinese strategic thinking will only partially assist you in progressing up the very formal hierarchy which the Chinese use to codify relationships and signal degrees of trust and the will to cooperate. Full of insights, tools, techniques and tips this book provides invaluable lessons on how to build relationships, and how to channel Western skills into Chinese ways of working.

Leseprobe

Table of Contents

Disclaimer

Title Page

Copyright Page

Dedication

Acknowledgements

Introduction

CONTEXT

PART I

Chapter One - EMOTIONAL FOUNDATIONS OF THE CHINESE CHARACTER

Chapter Two - CHINA: RELATIONSHIPS AS BUSINESS MODEL

Chapter Three - REFLECTIONS ON CHINESE VALUES AND PRIORITIES

Authenticity

Emotional harmony

Sincerity of intention

Integrity

Trust

Empathy

Chapter Four - COMMUNICATING FOR MUTUAL BENEFIT WITH CHINA

Communications and relationship best practice

Chapter Five - WHAT MATTERS TO CHINA

Chapter Six - BUSINESS CULTURE IN DETAIL

Chapter Seven - PAST CHINA WISDOM - CURRENT BUSINESS PROFILE

Chapter Eight - GETTING THINGS DONE

PART II

Chapter Nine - ACCESSING BUSINESS SUPPORT

Chapter Ten - LAW AND RELATIONSHIPS THAT WORK IN CHINA

Chapter Eleven - ATTITUDES AS STRATEGY

Attitudes of respect for success

Chapter Twelve - THE PRACTICALITIES OF CHINA SUCCESS

Chapter Thirteen - GETTING READY FOR CHINA

Developing a strategy for success in China

Market and sector research

Take a ‘total team’ approach to building relationships

Sustaining relationships

Chapter Fourteen - SUSTAINING SUCCESS IN CHINA THROUGH RELATIONSHIPS: ANDOR-A ...

Andor Technology case study

Building relationships

Chapter Fifteen - CHINA-YOUR ESSENTIAL REPAIR KIT

Chapter Sixteen - THE POWER OF CONNECTION FOR SUCCESS

Let’s do this!

Chapter Seventeen - CHINA SPEAKS

Chapter Eighteen - SUMMARY

Chapter Nineteen - CHINA: QUICK REFERENCE GUIDE

FURTHER READING

USEFUL WEBSITES

INDEX

Disclaimer

In writing a book of this kind, for a largely Western audience, which seeks to communicate the essence of the Chinese people within the business context, and how widely held preferences, values and beliefs inform their profile, my goal has been the breaking down of stereotypes. Nonetheless, to propose any meaningful profile of the Chinese people with which to engage, a degree of generalisation is unavoidable. I offer the insights into the Chinese character contained within this book with great respect for, and acknowledgement of, the huge potential for deviation from this profile of a regional, generational or individual nature in China.

My intention is to assist engagement without minimising the richness and diversity of the Chinese character which you will apprehend within your commercial endeavours. Since my intention is to build empathy and promote mutual benefit, I trust that both my Western and Chinese readers will forgive the necessary ‘evil’ of profiling and see this as vastly distinct from stereotyping in both its motivation and intended application. What I offer here, with great respect, is a point of departure for their China journey for those who read this book and their Chinese interlocutors actual or potential, and not judgements under any guise.

This edition first published in 2010

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eISBN : 978-0-470-66242-7

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For my daughter Grace and my partner, Dr Chen, for being the cherished inspiration and reward behind everything I do and everything I am.

For the families of all who made this book possible, particularly the families of the City of Shenyang and the Province of Liaoning who shared their love of China with me.

May you and your beloved country continue to thrive.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Many people enabled and inspired the creation of this work and my heartfelt thanks goes out to them. Firstly those who contributed directly to the building of the content: Chloe Lee, IP Partner, Stephenson Harwood & Lo for her depth of insight, profound knowledge and culturally sympathetic approach to law and to Sino-Western commercial relations. Eifion Morris, partner Stephenson Harwood London for encouraging the project and fielding the Stephenson Harwood contribution so brilliantly. My thanks are also due to Phillip Moore at Andor for his powerful, insightful and assiduous contributions and for finding the time in a hectic international schedule to give the project his finest ideas and make it a priority.

I am also indebted to David Paice and James Hancock of Cathay Pacific for inviting me to the Cathay Pacific China business awards at the Dorchester, where I had the privilege of meeting and approaching Andor for this book and to Doctor Aislinn Rice of Andor for her sustained interest in and placement of this project. I would further like to thank Robert Bentley of Market Sector Research International Ltd for his professional, thorough and comprehensive contribution to the due diligence and governance chapter and for his sustained interest in the project since inception, which I greatly appreciate.

My sincere thanks are also due to the 15 Chinese CEOs who so kindly, generously and with such deference proffered opinions in the hope of promoting increased engagement, friendship and success with Western business men and women. We are grateful for your opinions and we will listen.

The process would not have been possible without the wonderful interpreting, interpersonal and intercultural skills of Professor Deng. She is an example of the incredible talent China possesses within its younger professional classes. I am also indebted to the Government officials whom I met in Liaoning for their helpfulness, dedication to China and commitment to Business friendship with the West.

In making the work possible, I would like to thank Jana Hanu šová for her kindness, support, belief and assistance in this project and her parents Jan Hanuš and Marie Hanušová who encouraged Jana to support me. Her help was invaluable and appreciated deeply. I would also like to thank Darina Vsianska for her vision, kindness, and gracious encouragement.

I would like to thank my late parents Sarah and William Molloy, and especially my mother for committing so generously to my education and talent, I thank them with all of my heart.

I would like to thank my sister Dympna Smethurst for generously supporting and inspiring me at important moments in my life.

A very special thanks to my brother, Patrick Molloy, for his active contribution to my work in China, his inspiring love of education and good management and his generous support of my career.

I wish to offer my deepest thanks to my sister Ursula Wilson for being a beacon of wisdom, understanding, empathy and unwavering belief in me and the work I do. Her love has always encouraged me to excel.

My most heartfelt thanks to Danny Smethurst for his exceptionally gifted, wise and informed understanding of China and international management. His mentoring and support have made this work possible, not least because he lives the message that I write about. I offer my deepest and most heartfelt thanks, respect and admiration.

I would also like include a very special thank you to Adrian Walthoe who has brought his incredible experience, fine Etonian training and superb brain to bear on this project. He is a consummate linguist and wordsmith who has supported me intellectually and emotionally at the critical stages of the project with unstinting generosity.

My deepest acknowledgement goes to my late husband, David William Turley, who gave me some of the greatest gifts in my life: my beautiful daughter Grace, a belief in my talents and the desire to write. He lives on through this book and in everything else I do.

I would like to acknowledge the kind support of Vicky O’ Brien, Judy Aiken, Mary Creed and David Delaney who have greatly supported and sustained me throughout. My sincere thanks to a very special friend, Maitland Kalton, for showing me a new paradigm of relationships with reciprocity in a way which deeply inspired me and contributed to this book.

To Claire Plimmer, my commissioning editor and her team at John Wiley & Sons, I reserve my most heartfelt thanks. It was Claire’s vision, sensitivity and cultural awareness which brought this book forward and nurtured and cradled my talent. Her rigour, commitment and dedication to her writers are exemplary. Julia Bezzant was always interested, available and supportive, while Michaela Fay and Samantha Hartley made the details of this book truly great. Wiley is quite simply an example of what I write about: people engaging across cultures and subjects with passion and empathy.

Finally, I would like to thank the people of China for trusting me and allowing me to befriend them. It is truly an honour.

INTRODUCTION

I went to China prepared to connect and it made all the difference. My experiences of the Chinese outside of China had shown me the value of relationships and the importance of people in making business and everything else work.

My experiences had also been positive, except when business agendas and timelines encouraged me to be hasty or to underestimate the importance of people and the health of the relationships in my China work. This had happened to me only once and had made me see that without the familiar blanket of meaningful relationships - well made and well nurtured - the Chinese run for cover.

But what struck me from the first moment on the very first business plane was the sense of togetherness and harmony among the Chinese. I remember being in awe of the feeling of contact, communication and, to some extent, collective warmth of the Chinese. This was something truly fundamental. This quality, which I later realised underpins everything positive that one achieves in China, is connection.

As interesting as the observation of this quality was, my reaction to it was equally revealing, as this collective quality, and the responses it demanded, provoked both attraction and resistance in me.

On arriving in China, I realised that relationships and connecting well were everything. We were welcomed as vitally important in each meeting we attended, with lunches and banquets organised for us as cherished guests.

The collective from the beginning. Chinese colleagues, interpreters and support staff were committed to accompanying me through long days without counting the cost in terms of convenience, personal space or tiredness. The meetings themselves were often twenty strong, growing in attentiveness and hospitality as the business dialogue deepened. They also included increasing numbers of people and were often filmed or photographed.

The sense of a journey was communicated through a profound ‘getting to know process’.

Indeed, it quickly became clear to me that relationships were the most reliable indicator of both business prospects and progress. You knew where you were from the way key elements of the relationship were building. Central to all progress was a willingness to reveal self and connect with others. So, too, was a readiness to be open about factors such as character, social context, family place, position in society and age.

In essence, it was crucial to reveal and communicate one’s identity - but significantly in China - as it related to others.

The early stages of my business trips felt demanding and arduous. With hindsight, however, I realised that they did not need to be. They were made so by my very Western concerns: What did I achieve today? When can I get some personal space? Which of these people in the meeting room is the ultimate decision maker? How do I communicate my talents for this project, idea, venture or cooperation? Within the answers to these questions lay the seeds of my own success as a business person in China. And I remember when the answers came to me.

As my business trips followed a helpful movement up through a hierarchy of government departments and referred private sector companies, I began to see how the questions I asked myself did not serve me well in China. Constant concerns of achievements, quick profits at all costs for stakeholders, excessive concern with personal space and privacy and the desire to prove professional credentials, as one would do in a Western professional setting, were deeply undermining and inhibiting my progress.

As I felt increasingly inspired and motivated by the cooperation and personal attention of my hosts and the endlessly devoted and capable services of our agent and interpreter, I began to ask what would work instead of these unhelpful questions which I could see were rooted in a comfort zone of professional behaviour and outcomes, informed exclusively by my Western culture.

I kept reiterating the question to myself at the end of each working day. What could replace these questions as a way of facilitating my work in China? The answer came back clearly and unequivocally: Connection. I can remember watching colleagues from a Chinese team praising and toasting each other and feeling the very real way in which collective, participative relationships drive this culture. More importantly, I felt the warmth, bonding and success that emanated quite naturally from this collective way of working and being.

It was the same feeling I experienced in watching the pure joy our interpreters and assistants felt when they had helped us reach our business goals, or the unstinting cooperation that Chinese Government officials, business and city mayors extended to make those goals work.

At such moments, I realised the pure magic of connection in China and the power of having better, different questions in my head to motivate me and measure progress. Questions such as: How can I be part of it? How are my relationships today? What can I contribute here? How well am I playing my part in building the reputation of my Chinese colleagues? - and the most magical of all: How can I handle this situation for mutual benefit?

The power of these simple shifts in attitude was phenomenal. I was able to achieve reputation, outcomes and strong business results in record time and without any of the strain and arduousness of prior business trips.

It was at that moment of realisation that this book was born.

Beyond the obvious business criterion of having something that China wishes to buy or partner you on, it is relationship and connection that will ultimately determine your success in this business culture. It is in the area of relationships that energy and skills, well invested, will produce phenomenal results.

This was my journey. This has been my China experience. The techniques and insights distilled in this book reflect that experience. Writing this experience of relationships in driving success has been my destiny moment in respect of China. I hope that in the application of these techniques, you will begin to create your destiny moment.

You have within you the seeds of success with China, right here, right now.

With the help of this book, your business journey can be full of successful relationships, prosperity and shared reputation. You need only dare to connect.

CONTEXT

In today’s world, there are few of us who do not seek to better understand the mysterious and apparently inscrutable force that is contemporary China. The powerful appetite that we hold for China is not really for the facts and figures or for the details of the economic ascendancy of this nation, inspiring though this is. Increasingly, it is a desire to know China from a place which will permit real contacts, exchange, relationship and understanding which we crave.

This is a wonderful shift and it parallels the change China has made. With President Hu Jintao ’s1 recent ideal of a ‘Harmonious Society’, China too has committed to walking the journey towards real empathy, understanding and meaningful relationships with the West.

You are about to make that journey successfully where many others have failed. Why? Because you will make it from a relationship base which makes it possible to understand, bond with and know this race.

The premise of this book is that so much of what is considered vital in the Chinese order of things runs on relationships and emotion.

Traditionally received wisdom from Confucius and the Bing Fa texts has been used by Westerners as a useful point of entry into understanding the psyche and relationships of China and, indeed, for shedding light on the Chinese emotional profile - the real route to building and maintaining relationships.

Understanding the forces that shape Chinese strategic thinking, however, will only partially assist us in progressing up the very formal hierarchy which the Chinese use to codify relationships and signal degrees of trust and the will to cooperate. Since the Chinese create success on the basis of partnership and measure it by the strength of a relationship status, it is in this area that we must build real strengths and create new resources.

Viewed from a purely cultural intelligence standpoint, the journey could be a long one. Our cultural habits, values, mores and protocols, particularly around trade, money, and partnership, are vastly different. However, viewed from the perspective of emotions, we share a common landscape; our emotional impulses and intuitions have, indeed, much in common.

When we are looking at the similarities and not the differences in our cultural and emotional profiles, we discover an entirely new terrain on which to build enduring friendships with the people of China. This common emotional framework may be wrapped in different cultural codes and use different means of communication or behavioural signals; nonetheless, it represents a common ground.

We have the opportunity at this crossroads to relate to China. Not just to manage, contain, or respond to, but rather we have a seminal opportunity in our lives to understand at core and relate to the Chinese character and emotions. While the tools for this lie in the intellect, the resources needed lie in the area of relationships.

‘China from the Head’ approaches have become the predominant response to this task. These do not inspire, they terrify. The simple fact is that China cannot be understood exclusively in this way. Despite appearances, emotion and character in China are paramount - good news, theoretically, for the West which has spent decades developing emotional awareness through self help, therapy and leadership courses.

But this amazing advantage is largely neglected because often we do not know how to apply this knowledge in China.

So, relating for success needs a whole new set of tools in a game where the stakes are being perceived globally as increasingly high. However, there remains currently a widespread feeling of bewilderment in respect of China which has spawned endless think tanks, consultancies, and experts in the West. These, however, ignore what those of us who have succeeded in China know at a very committed level: the way to reach the Chinese is through emotion, trust, sincerity, and relationships - ones which are built from the inside out.

You are about to make the critical journey towards a deep basis for relating to this nation with tools which are powered by the intention to connect. Moreover, you will make it from a comprehensive base of relationship skills. As stated, this journey is not possible to make satisfactorily from the intellect alone, especially with a race such as the Chinese whose strategic thinking powers have been honed since birth and who guard both privacy of mind and mental processes at all times, ensuring that total access through an intellectual route is barred.

To capture the spirit of this people and bond at a meaningful level involves looking closely at our respective emotional make ups, embracing, where needed, new common definitions of concepts like trust, character, respect, relationship and communication. It is a journey, not just to the heart of China but to the deeper recesses of our own emotional profile, our preconceptions, our ways of interacting and responding. In making this journey, we have the chance to know ourselves better. This, in turn, will make our relationships with China infinitely more solid, for we will approach them with the confidence of the self-aware in a nation which cherishes self-mastery.

In this book, you will not be given statistics, geographical or economic facts - important though these may be. Instead you will hear a distillation of wisdom from someone who has devoted almost seven years of her life to living with, working with and sincerely appreciating the Chinese.

This is a soft lens analysis of the Chinese, accentuating the areas of common ground; an antidote, I trust, to the recent plethora of ‘China Scare’ texts which serve neither us nor China. Here, we are seeking to cast a sympathetic but accurate eye on the feelings which power this amazing people. This book advocates a new subject basis for interaction, another approach to engagement and bonding, which recommends that we bring more authentic feelings and higher intentions than we have hitherto had the opportunity to demonstrate.

This book will provide tools, insights and examples to help us journey to this goal. It is a journey for business readers who want to gain fluency and confidence in relating to China, by offering richer definitions of what it is to be in a relationship with a culture for whom this word is as important as breath and for whom emotion and sentiment are life energy. There will be an opportunity for you to lose certain things in the reading of this book: fear of China, anachronistic views of this culture, notions of inscrutability, and even the occasional resentment.

There is an old Chinese expression,2 ‘Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.’3

Observing the complex business protocol necessary for success in China is not easy. Some Western books on business manners will list up to two hundred dos and don ’ts in the areas of negotiating, naming conventions, meeting etiquette, accessing decision makers, participating in business banquets, handling financial and legal matters and appointing staff. The purpose of this advice is to prepare you for the key contingencies you may meet in order to avoid the situation where culturally non -adapted behaviour or protocol lapses lose you business - or, given the importance of relationships, in China, lose you your business.

While helpful in intent, however, the array of behaviours to be learned is daunting. And what happens if you are clear on what to do in situations A, B and C, but situation D arises?

It is this kind of terrifying scenario, akin to walking on eggshells, which leaves you, as the Chinese proverb states, at best with ‘a fish for one day’. But successful business cooperation with China requires ‘a fish for life’ skills and ones that reveal mutual benefit for both parties.

So what is the solution? Simple. The Chinese are incredibly forgiving of any protocol breaches if the correct attitude to relationship is in place and if we demonstrate commitment to relationship from the off, with wholehearted sincerity and an obvious desire for the creation of mutual benefit.

Understanding how to provide this reassurance through your business and personal behaviour as well as your attitudes and actions in China is the real skills set you need - the one that will drive success for you and create longevity of relationship and harmony; the kind that does not mind how you hold your chopsticks or what colour your business card is.

This is what this book provides. This is what will allow you and your Chinese partners to feel safe and help you find your ‘fish for life’ with China.

Relating well to China and influencing her for good is an investment in our businesses, careers, children and the environment, as well as in the wealth of future opportunities that exist with China across myriad fields of human endeavour. It also represents the most seminal moment in global relationships in recent history. With the right tools, the task is to be embraced and enjoyed. But while the tools for analysis lie in our intellects, the resources to fulfil this task lie in our hearts.

Let’s see how the way of ‘a higher plane’, as it was described by Wen Jiabao,4 illuminates our path to a bright future of rich relations, mutual kindness and win-win success: a world the Chinese president has dubbed a ‘Harmonious Society’.

To get the best from this book:

• Enjoy the cultural explanations and observations

• Absorb the feeling observations of Chinese character and business culture

• Search your heart for how you would respond

• Look for the similarities, not the differences

• Search your heart again; think how you could respond better.

This book will ask more of you than more conventional business books, but it will generously reward your efforts. It is best read in its entirety first, then used as a reference or manual at intervals in your work with China.

Firstly, I would ask you to release preconceptions and judgements and to enjoy and absorb the first section of this book as we explore the Chinese emotional landscape and values - the beliefs, ideas and feelings which animate and define them. While ‘ lighter’ to read than the later sections, you will find yourself coming back frequently to

4Wen Jiabao is the current Premier of the State Council of the People’s Republic of China. During Premier Wen ’s last state visit to the UK, he affirmed the following in respect of Sino-British commercial relations: ‘… both sides now stand at a higher plane and look to the future with a broader vision’. The Times, 3 February 2009. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/politics/article5645533.ece (accessed 18 January 2010).

this section of the book for the deeper wisdom and insights it contains about your Chinese partners. In a society which values character and relationships, the ‘map of the heart’ becomes the most pragmatic of guides.

In the second section, you will feel very at home; these are the chapters that reward your investment in reading this book by demonstrating that relationships are bottom -line assets in China, that they constitute very real business collateral and that they truly are the hidden drivers of success with this market. There are also very practical illustrations of our theme from business experts, legal experts and companies who have built and sustained considerable success in China. This is real ‘ inside track’ guidance, offered respectfully, to allow the significant business success you are already demonstrating in running companies to migrate well and fluently to the Chinese market.

Uniquely, this section is completed by the views of 15 Chinese CEOs and business commentators on how we work with them to build success and mutual benefit.

At every stage, I have highlighted and culturally explained what it means for your business and why the business and relationship approaches the chapters contain are so sound for China and constitute a template for success. In doing so, I have emphasised, and at times re-emphasised, the cultural reasons behind the relationship approaches we are asking you to adopt. This is not unconscious repetition, rather a deliberate strategy of reinforcement. Knowledge turns into acquired skills only when the information provided is absorbed in sufficient depth and with sufficient frequency that it becomes a reflex - something you ‘do’ automatically. And this is what I wish to achieve with and for you: the emergence of reflexes in relationships and business behaviour with China which will not let you down - whatever the situation - so that you become your own cultural mediator in China; in other words, your own best friend.

And because I ask much of you as Western businessmen and women in understanding and embracing the Chinese business relationship model, my summary contains a balanced view of how and why China and the West can shift on key areas of contrasting business approach to overcome difficulties and build great levels of connection and enduring relationships.

I have advocated the goal of mutual benefit and reaching this goal with respect as both medium and facilitator. The practical results of such attitudes are exemplified in the success stories of companies who have used this approach - and the fact that they continue to operate profitably in China today.

Finally, because you are busy and because there are always moments in China where you need ‘ instant wisdom’, not lengthy explanations, I have included a Quick Reference Guide section to help you with the challenges you will meet and make you confident even on the longest day or amidst the most baffling protocol. This is a short guide to remind you of what you already know: that China wants what you have to offer and that you are entirely equal to the task of relating for success to this country and business culture.

PART I

Chapter One

EMOTIONAL FOUNDATIONS OF THE CHINESE CHARACTER

By nature, men are nearly alike; by practice, they get to be wide apart3

- Confucius

As we begin our journey of looking at relationships, we are about to lose some misleading stereotypes about the ‘Chinese’ character. From the imperious Mandarin to the inscrutable, calm exterior of Chinese business, to the diffident, non-personality driven face of the Chinese Government, we are about to see beyond these intimidating exteriors into the unfathomable depth of the Chinese heart.

Would it surprise you to know, for example, that the Chinese are one of the most emotionally intense and deep people in our world? It did me. Like many others, the more stereotyped views of the Chinese - their pragmatism, their ambition for skills and knowledge, the importance of money and status in their society and their apparently controlled, occasionally imperious exterior - kept the emotional base of this culture rather veiled from me.

Perhaps the greatest bar to seeing the deeply personal and emotional facets of the Chinese identity lies behind another facade: that of the driven, busy, ever -achieving, ever-acquiring way in which the Chinese appear to operate in life.

This deceptive acquisitiveness is perhaps the strongest masker of the depth of feeling and sincerity of friendship the Chinese embody.

This ‘busyness’ confuses the intentions, hides emotions and muddies motives in the eyes of the undiscerning Westerner.

It is helpful to dispense with it immediately by putting it in a context that explains the constant achievement goals and pursuant that the Chinese exhibit.

In a society where there is a cherished responsibility on the younger generation to provide for lifelong parental care and financial security, the urge to achieve has, in fact, a deep emotional basis, whereas the West has often viewed this as being a symptom of an over - developed acquisitiveness or competitive nature.

To achieve within this definition of responsibility is to display your ability to care for those you love and to give proof of living life fully and deploying life force to good consequences for one ’s loved ones.

To the Western perception, however, the acquisitive stereotype makes us wary of believing that a deeper emotional profile powers the Chinese character. Yet it does so indisputably. Far from being proof, as some Western perspectives would have us believe, that the Chinese deprioritise emotion in favour of achievement, wealth or status, the act of achieving is much more about contributing to family pride and wellbeing than seeking personal recognition. In such a context, prosperity is worked towards in the spirit of creating stability, life force and harmonious conditions for loved ones.

Moreover, the absence of strongly communicated individual personality and overt ego also deflects us from observing the deeper aspects of the Chinese character. Within the Chinese profile, emotion is often tempered with highly developed and evolved powers of logic and strategic thinking as well as training in achieving balance and stability from life mentors such as Confucius.4

Yet behind all of this emphasis on logic and discipline are the emotions which fuel Chinese life and power everything from business to family relationships. Emotions, and sensitive approaches to emotions, are the key to making China accessible and moving towards a shared emotional framework.

So, moving past these deceptive facades, we are now able to look more closely at the real emotional world of the Chinese and to a better, more respectful, understanding for the purpose of building real connection.

In this exercise, it is helpful to consider the classically defined, key emotions which are identified within the Chinese holistic view of the person and used to underpin ancient Chinese approaches to the wellbeing of the individual.

Within the classical analysis of primary emotional states, five emotions are given prominence: happiness, fear, sadness, anger, and grief. Let’s begin by looking at happiness, because it provides a unique key to the hopes and dreams of the Chinese and a strong basis for the goals which they establish in relationships.

The emphasis on happiness is one of the central keys to the Chinese character, often undervalued in the process of bonding.

For the Chinese, who see providing for previous generations as well as the next generation as a lifelong process, and who seek consistently in life to work hard, prosper and acquire skills, it is crucial to enjoy the journey. A life slavishly spent controlled by time and driven by deadlines is not a life for this people.

Every day is a unit of time. This time is to be deployed in the pursuit of goals that enhance one ’s family and reputation but, equally significantly, this must be combined with a quality of life. The Chinese like to have clear aims or subjects for their life, but insist on pursuing these in a rich, leisurely way while celebrating life and enjoying the view as much as the destination.

In China, the state of happiness is a daily organic goal. The search for happiness through simple pleasures - balancing duty and relaxation, appreciating the diversity of relationships, the art of engagement, the deep enjoyment of food and the aesthetic appreciation of sights and sensations - are what constitutes the movement towards this goal.

Whilst the West professes a similar dedication to the goal of happiness, the state of happiness as a daily objective is often eroded by ever-increasing work hours, fast food and poor work/life balance. So how can we bond around this core emotion and use this prized state of being as real common ground?

The lesson is to savour the process of living as the Chinese do, to see everything as opportunities to connect with people, the rituals of eating as an opportunity to bond rather than refuel, and to see engagement in business or work with the Chinese as the exploration of common goals rather than the achievement of outcomes, time - driven goals or deadlines.

A key factor is to understand and share the appetites that constitute happiness for the Chinese: relationships well developed and richly sustained (it is interesting to note that in China wealth is described as being rich in relationships and connections, not money); the daily rituals of life made beautiful and the time taken to enjoy them; intellect well deployed with successful outcomes; intelligent living, growing in knowledge and skills; the replenishing of energy through sharing rich experiences, and the rituals of hospitality; cultivating a sense of creating an infinity of time to give relationships the nurturing they require at any stage in any day - no matter how busy.

Since the Chinese believe that stress is counteracted by happiness, this becomes an emotional state much sought after in Chinese daily life. While few Westerners would dismiss the state of happiness as an aspiration, within Western culture, it is more often viewed as a by-product of other positive factors such as a successful professional life, a win, a promotion, the acquisition of things translated into gains and rewards.

However, if we can invest in the emotional experience of happiness as a basis for exchange and success, and release our time-driven approach to goals and limiting definitions of relationships, we will have found a central key for engagement.

At the other end of the primary emotions identified by the Chinese is anger, not an emotion we comfortably tolerate in the West outside of the strictly personal arena. The Chinese see anger as a natural emotion which, when spontaneously expressed, quickly dissipates.

It is a response to the frustration about anything that publicly plays to a loss of face and dignity: unintelligent living, failure to seize the opportunity to assist others (especially in extremis), the feeling of being excluded or not needed, being deprived of the joy of rendering service and being deeply reproached for the same.

Above all, it is a response to disappointment in all its forms. If, as it does in China, the business of connecting and engaging well governs all of life, then the following are to be scrupulously avoided: jobs poorly done; promises not kept; relationship ethics breeched; inflexibility and putting outcomes before relationships or handling important connections indelicately or without kindness.

If we can participate in the appetite for happiness and provide opportunities to achieve it in the way we request help, accept support, provide opportunities for service and honour the rituals of life and the simple pleasures they enshrine, we will build a hugely rich emotional terrain and make meaningful progress.

Amidst the cherished goal of happiness in the Chinese character is the profound ability to experience sorrow and grief. The Yin/Yang face of such an intense desire for happiness is the capacity for profound sorrow, experienced not just in moments of loss, but also in instances of missing or when failure occurs.

The Chinese see adversity as a chance to grow relationships and boost their strengths. When ultimate failure occurs, if it has affected relationships, much deep sorrow is experienced even when the context is professional. This is something we Westerners would tend to experience with a much more dispassionate set of emotions - regret, concern or displeasure.

Sorrow is also experienced when relationships are not supported by communication. In such circumstances, it feels as if skills which to the Chinese are as natural as breathing are not reciprocated or are neglected through carelessness.

Communication is life force to the Chinese. It is the platform for discernment of and creation of relationships through empathy. It needs to be consistent, frequent and authentic. As a nation steeped in the duty to provide for multiple generations, the Chinese easily discern what is cursory and poorly intentioned or, conversely, what is supported by heartfelt emotions.

Sorrow and sadness are frequently felt when the Chinese are not permitted to render service to those they value or are in any way blocked from doing so.

The impulse to protect, assist, support, guide and mentor those whom the Chinese embrace into close relationships is of primal intensity. Those who are adopted as friends by the Chinese are considered to be the natural beneficiaries of the entire impressive gamut of Chinese skills, resources, energy and care; a rare and often lifelong privilege akin more to our definition of devotion than of mere relationship.

This cherished place, dealt with shortly in our analysis of relationships, makes the winning of a common ground and the task of relating an unexpectedly nurturing destination where we meet with truly able co-creators in the business of happiness and success.

Continuing to look at the primary relationship emotional states, we approach fear. Fear has a hidden, but heavily neglected, place in the Chinese character. It is always contested by another hugely powerful Chinese quality - courage - and manifests more as a low - grade anxiety.

In a society with high perfectionist tendencies, goals and strong levels of competitiveness, the will to excel and succeed has spawned a residual low-grade anxiety that runs as an emotion through Chinese character and aspirations. Intensive, multisensory, stimuli-based living does much to quiet the anxiety or provide a distraction from it. However, in a culture where an individual carries three generational reputations and is the public face of a range of his most cherished relationships, anxiety is not to be dismissed.

The anxiety manifests as perfectionist tendencies and the need to live and work intelligently at all times and for this to be in evidence in all situations. It also gathers around critical concepts like keeping one’s word, presenting pleasing externals to one’s life and having the wherewithal to meet one ’s life goals.

Few of us in the West would deny the performance anxiety that characterises our working practices and the expectations that result in increasing life stress. However, our anxieties tend to focus on the material implications of survival, success or failure, and the ability to expend talents and manage relationships.

Our public face is not subject to the daily task of maintaining the dignity and reputation of a whole range of people, based on our behaviour and speech in every circumstance. This is an existential anxiety and presents a wonderful opportunity for those who seek to make a positive contribution to China.

By demonstrating understanding, by increasing the sense of wellbeing experienced in and around relationships, by being reliable partners in the business of creating and maintaining meaningful reputation, we will render a deep service to the very heart and spirit of Chinese responsibility.

However, going further, we have the opportunity to show sensitivity to this anxiety by carefully conducting our part of the relationship with the Chinese in a way that alleviates these inner existential burdens. When we do this in a committed, open -hearted manner, the Chinese are profoundly grateful and often apply their superior knowledge of implementing decisions and creating outcomes to help us realise our most cherished business dreams.

The core, classical emotional states we have reviewed set the scene for an emotional framework that we can build on with the Chinese. It paints a brief picture of true impulses that act as primary catalysts for the Chinese character.

When we have further explored relationships, we will return to the key area of emotions and look at how to use a common emotional framework based on emotional signals around central Chinese values: trust, integrity, sincerity of intention, authenticity and empathy to build deep, meaningful, successful and enduring relationships. For many Western business people, this begins as an intellectual goal in respect of China. In the course of its execution, it often becomes a powerful channel for their business success as well as a heartfelt desire and intention.

Chapter Two

CHINA: RELATIONSHIPS AS BUSINESS MODEL

Look at the means which a man employs, observe his pleasures. A man simply cannot conceal himself

- Confucius

As you may have already begun to discern, in order to understand the Chinese and to trust them wholeheartedly, it is important to look behind formal and inscrutable masks and see the primary place emotion, relationships and character hold in their world. This is also the beginning of our capacity to build relationships for success and mutual benefit.

This is a culture passionate about family and steeped in relationships as a way of life. The collective ‘we’ implies an emotional commitment to shared experiences and a deeply cherished and permanent undertaking to provide financially for parents, which powers everything the Chinese seek to achieve.

Where individualism is valued in our culture, the ability to think, feel and succeed collectively is valued in China. The most cherished word in the Chinese lexicon is ‘we’, the most cherished word in our Western lexicon is ‘I’. This is both the challenge and the opportunity.

Relationships are powerhouses of action in China. They are at once a state of being and a permanent, active disposition towards service and assistance, in favour of trusted family, friends, colleagues and business partners. They are the lifeblood of all aspects of achievement and success. They get things done, wrap commitments and agreements around all forms of business, life and cooperation and promise longevity, where relationships are made with care and underpinned by shared experiences.

Relationships are ties in this world, they are bonds and bonds act as the momentum, the glue, the facilitator and, ultimately, the arbiter of the success of business dealings.

This is what awaits us in China, and behind the dignity and formal, quiet exterior, this is the silent call to arms if we are to find our way through to mutual business ground, successful deals and relationships.

The Chinese apprenticeship in ‘we’ -based thinking and relationships begins with the close involvement with family - a Chinese person is first and foremost a member of a family, then an individual, just as an individual is, above all, viewed for their place in the greater social context as a ‘unit of humanity’ before being an autonomous centre of achievement, productivity or ambition.

With happiness and commitment, the Chinese grow up aware of a responsibility to their senior generations which is inclusive, financial and comprehensive. The collectivist style of relationship and mindset makes this a cherished relationship with no on/off or pause button, no conflict with a sense of individual liberty or aspiration - and it sets the scene for both the place which they hold as well as the way in which relationships are executed.

The energy and enthusiasm which the Chinese bring to the business of achieving and succeeding has often been misunderstood as acquisitiveness and a desire to stamp territoriality on ideas, products, services and initiatives. This view fails to grasp the kindness and passion that underlie the Chinese in their effort to nurture their primary relationships and responsibilities through the provision for all generations of family. When viewed in this manner, the Chinese begin to emerge in a different light, driven not by ambition but by a passion for relationships and a desire to provide for those they hold dear.

And this is not merely in terms of finances, it is also about the provision of reputation, assistance and protection, and the greatest of these is reputation.

When you give the gift of face in China to an individual, you give something even more precious than the gift of self - you give the gift of ‘we’. By building a joint face and a shared reputation, you agree to underpin this by a joint commitment to maintain and cherish the ‘ face’ which has been built.

When we begin to look at how agreements are reached and, more importantly, at their safety, it is in the arena of sincerely built and expressed ‘common face’ that we must first seek the real protectors and powerful guarantors of contracts and hard -won deals.

In essence, China takes our Western formula ‘we have a deal because the business has gone well; and metamorphoses it into ‘we have a relationship first, so that the business will go well’. Interacting well with the Chinese model of relationships is to understand that life, wisdom and behaviour guide relationships - and how these are rooted in living the collective ‘we’.

Firstly, the Chinese are magnificent adapters to people, and to the demands of tasks, routines, rhythms, other cultures and, above all, to events and their direction.

The Chinese tend to take events as they come and adapt themselves to them. Partly this is a matter of disposition and training for a race that values mastery of self, partly it is an indicator of the priorities in the Chinese order of things, particularly in the area of relationships. Within the Chinese model of life and business, the order is always as follows: relationships first, then tasks, events and outcomes second. Indeed the Chinese maxim ‘hard times make good friends’5 is an indicator of the crucial equation underlying all Chinese thinking, that nothing can harm or undermine the relationship which is well made.