Dua Istikhara E-Book

Dennis Harrell

• Herausgeber: Books on Demand
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 333

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2019

Beschreibung

A story about a young man, who struggled with addictions, family problems and depressions throughout his life, decides to escape from his past and responsibilities as he's trying to extend his time of adolescence by leaving everything behind to travel the world with almost no money. During this challenging odyssey it seems he finds himself more and more with every mile he travels. After losing his way in life, he may have found the right path again. Expierience a unique odyssey across borders and dangerous territories, with an unpredictable outcome. Find out why seeing a monument statue brings goosebumps to a man, who shouldnt be fazed after being hardened after enduring the unthinkable.

Leseprobe

Dua Istikhara

Dua Istikhara - Dennis M. HarrellRoom TempertureGrowing up with BasketballAddictionSeptember 2015New Year (2016)15 K on one nightNew Friends New CribJune 2016Temporary Normal LifeTravel the World with almost no MoneyGoing Towards “World(th)”Day 2Escaping from the SystemSerbia, BelgradeBulgaria, Sofia“Sell me that Pen”Preparing for the next DestinationTurkey, IstanbulThe Asian Part of TurkeyNothing goes as PlannedChanging your MindDangerous Territory’sMardin, TurkeyConverting to IslamDua IstikharaDuaa IstikharaCrossing New BordersFrom Erbil to BagdadA whole week in BagdadDua Istikhara AnsweredBlindfolded with Handcuffs4 walls without daylightExploring Your Own MindInvestigation and TortureAfter a week in PrisonMeeting new PeopleSemi freedomPut on the Prison clothesThe Wardens OfficeI.N.I.S instead of ISISI wrote…Therapy or HobbyAnother 3 days“You’ve made good friends in Baghdad”Final Destination?EnglishالعربيةالإنجليزيةArabicالدعاءCopyright

Dua Istikhara - Dennis M. Harrell

Dua istikhara

by

Dennis Harrell

This story is based on true events.

Names have been changed in order to

Protect the privacy and safety of all concerned

The room temperture was indeferent; therefore the fan that was placed on the wall was unnecessarily blowing dust through out the space I was in. I had to jump to reach a string that was attached to the fan. After the first time I pulled it, the fan was blowing even more dust down to my face. After the second pull the fan stopped blowing dust and it became a bit more silent, almost so quiete that you could hear the neon light tube next to the fan, wich was necessary in order to see, as there were no windows that would let any daylight from outside enter.

I placed my pants in the corner and folded my shirt into a pillow, just to not directly lie on the floor. As I could only stare at a yellow uniform, 3 stale walls and a damaged metal door the light also became uneccesary and later on even anoying. But unlike the fan, I wasn’t able to turn it on or off. There was no light switch, no on/off, no doornob to open/close and no other decisions for me to make. But there where big decisions that Ive made throuout my life that had led me to this place.

A place: - where a set of neccessary rules, are diminishing the freedoms I’ve once had.

- Where repeatedly unawnsered questions like “how long do I have to stay here?” narrowed down the communication rapidly.

- Where sticking out my arm through a small gap of the damaged metal door simply means:” I need to use the bathroom”.

- Where waiting for the next bottle of water or slice of bread became unfortunatly a highlight.

Out of all the places in the world the odds of me, being left alone with my own thoughts, in a place like this is actually zero! But just like many things in my life, I also messed up that stat.

I guess I started to derail from the right path in September 2015… but it wasn’t really a crash, it happened quietly and step by step. I was 23 and life was actually good, at least on the surface.

Because only 3 years later I ended up talking to myself and I was asking myself, how did I end up in here? How did I put myself in a Situation like this?

I wanted to give myself an honest answer to this question, so I decided to explore my mind.

And I started at the beginning; I wanted to think back to the first point of my life, where I could remember anything. The youngest moment of my life…

…I realised I have never done that up until this moment. The youngest moment of my life I remembered, I was 3 or maybe 4 years old and was getting ready for kinder garden. I was crying because my favourite shoes didn’t fit anymore.

After thinking about this moment, trying to imagine as much as possible, I could roughly see the Jordan shoes that became to small for me or our oranged colored apartment door. I also remember racing up the stairs with my dad, laughing while only taking one step at a time and the right foor always ahead as the left one followed, all the way up to the 3rd floor.

I drifted of thinking about all the other apartments we used to live in. Because we lived in many different ones, besides moving many times my parents divorced when I was 9 and my dad moved even more. By the time I was 16 I lived proabably in 20 different apartments as me and my older brother spend the weekends with my father.

Many other things besides apartments changed during that time but Basketball always seemed to remain the same.

Growing up with Basketball

When I grew up I always wanted to be a Professional Basketball Player, my Idol from the beginning was Kobe Bryant. To whom I have some similarities growing up. His father, American moved Overseas to Italy where Kobe grew up and watched his father play basketball and fell in love with the game.

Although my father wasn’t a professional Basketball Player and he moved to Germany, I still looked up to him and watched him play. I fell in love with the game from the moment he put the ball in my hands, picked me up, carried me on his shoulders and stepped in front of the basket so I could shoot.

Having an Afro, growing up in Europe and loving the game of Basketball are probably the only things me and Kobe have in common. Because unlike him I didn’t moved back to the U.S. and I also never became a professional Basketball Player.

Instead I’ve worked for a professional Basketball Club being a part of the medical staff.

In the beginning I loved my Job, because this was the closest I could get as being a pro Basketball Player. I’ve travelled with the team all across Europe: Cities like Madrid, Athens, Istanbul and Moskau by Bus and by Plane from one 4 star Hotel to the next, from one Arena to the next and I always had first row seats to every game. I basically lived the life of a Basketball Player even though I didn’t play.

During the season there was not a lot of time for family and friends because there was basically no off days. No weekends or Sundays or any other holidays because on those days in all Professional Sports it is the Main time to work.

So during every Season, your Team basically becomes your family and friends because you see them everyday. You travel with them have breakfast, lunch and dinner with them, PR events and practice.

Eventually we had off days too, some guys spent time with their families and some went out partying. I was 19 during my first season so you can guess what I did.

The first 2 Seasons we Celebrated 2 Championships time flew by as I enjoyed my work and the off days. But after a while, like most things in life, things change and all of a sudden my Job wasn’t so exciting like in the beginning.

Over time I realised the next roadtrip won’t be so nice, even though the destination was Barcelona. Knowing I won’t be able to actually see the city of Barcelona. The truth was only the Airport, a 15 minute Busride to a 4 Star Hotel and the Arena we’ve practice and play in.

Yes overtime I think you can say I started to see more and more work then adventure at my Job. Instead of the first row tickets, I now saw the Locker Room and a Lot of sweetie Towels and Jerseys that had to be washed.

I was no longer exited about any game, trip or city view from another Hotel room during holidays. I rather wanted to spend more time with my family or friends. Today I know that wasn’t really the case because no matter where I was, I always wanted to be somewhere else. Being with my family, always seemed like catching up with all of our family problems.

Just like in every family, there are problems. Divorces, fights, family members in jail, family members that don’t talk to each other anymore an endless list of problems I didn’t wanted to be confronted with.

So I sometimes, even If I could see my family, I choose not to and escaped into the nightlife.

That was the place were I could escape from work, family problems and even myself.

During this time, without realising it the wrong things became more and more important for me.

What clothes am I wearing, what shoes or what kind of watch. Only superficial and material things were important for me and I lived only in the moment.

But just like my Job, at the beginning I enjoyed everything about the nightlife. Every Club, the VIP lounges and every single Champagne Bottle I’ve drunk. On and off relationships faded away quicker then my paychecks. I was addicted and I needed to top every night, over and over again.

Wich I did but unfortunatly it wasn’t concurrent with my salary. But Instead of adjusting my lifestyle I adjusted my Income. I did that by playing poker and because I was so good it didn’t take long before it became my main thing.

Back then I told myself Poker is not bad for me, it is good because it keeps me away from Partying, starting meaningless relationships and Drinking Alcohol.

But today I know I just escaped into a different nightlife that can be even more dangerous.

Addiction

I think Addiction is a very effective vehicle that can be used to escape from … whatever you should probably be dealing with.

During my life I’ve had more situations were I was addicted to something but of course I’ve never called it an addiction.

For Example from the age of 3 until 14 the most important thing for me was basketball. But either me or anybody else would’ve called me addicted. I would say I had a passion for the Game. And that’s because it’s normal, kids play sports and except injuries it doesn’t have any negative outcome if you’re passionate about sports.Same rules apply for music, either making it or listening to it. Today I would disagree that there isn’t any negative outcome.

Another example would be from 14 to 16 my main thing was playing video games. Today I would say I was addicted because there were days were I only played, ate and slept at the time. And I would call it an addiction because there are a lot of negative outcomes if you lose yourself in this addiction.

From 16 to 18 I was very ambitious and addicted in becoming good at whatever I do. I tryied to find a good Job and also the right Job. During that time I had multiple Jobs, some of them paid money some of them didnt. Going through medical school and working multiple jobs at the same time, I was proably never more focused looking back.

From 19 to 21 I would say I was addicted to my Job. But I wouldn’t call it that today because except spending a bit less time with family, there aren’t really any negative things that will happen to you if you devote your time and energy to your Job.

With 22 I was addicted to partying, alcohol and women all things that seemed good and felt good at the time but looking back this lifestyle had an overall negative outcome on my life.

It produced negative feelings and emotions that led to negative thoughts and eventually to depressions.

With 23 I was addicted to Poker and even though I was making a lot of money and was able to afford the previous lifestyle or the lifestyle that is fakely presented to us on TV or Social Media. It was again only good on the surface and because of that much more dangerous as it had a huge and negative influence on my life.

I created negative habits; I’ve paid a 35€ dinner with a 50€ bill and happily said keep the change. Or on standard payed 20€ for a Cab ride that only cost 12€ because I liked the driver that would take me to the casino every day. Money didn’t matter to me at all.

Before I used to have 1000 € every month available as my apartment and car was paid by the team.

With Poker I could make that kind of money on a 12 hour cash game session.

So the money was good, really good and because of that…

… and other reasons I decided to quit my Job.

I was 23 and left Germany to move to Czech Republic and Play Poker.

But that was not what I told my family and friends, I told everyone I had a new Job in Czech Republic. I didn’t mention anything about my depressions and that I was basically only escaping from my negative emotions/feelings that I created over the years while the surface looked fine.

I would call this the first big step towards derailing from the tracks, which was initialized years before. And that is why I choose this as a starting point to tell you my story.

September 2015

At this time I started a new life, a new chapter but It wasn’t good because I started it with a big lie. Like I said before nobody knew what I was really doing in Czech Republic and my goal was to keep it that way.

And that wasn’t really that hard, nobody knows what you’re really doing all day. People only know your status on Facebook or your last Story on Instagram. That’s why it was no problem to keep that secret to myself.

So in the Beginning, like always I felt good, I was Independent on my own. But the truth is I was just selfish. I only thought about myself and did whatever I wanted to do.

And at the beginning I started with a little over 3000€ and all I wanted to do is play and build up my bankroll.

I played everyday 12- 16 hour non-stop, I was hooked, trying to stack up, hand after hand and I did.

I felt like I was 16 again, it was a mixed feeling, because I was playing a lot of course but also It was the transition time were I started to get focused and I tried to become good at what im doing. And I did become good, so good that I made a lot of easy money day by day building up my bankroll to over 70K in less then 3 months.

New Year (2016)

But after a while things changed and my focus faded and distractions kept adding up.

I never had so much money in my life but it felt like I couldn’t really do anything with it.

Not enough to by a house, even a new car would just wreck my Bankroll.

So I decided only to purchase small things, and spent my money in restaurants because I wanted to eat good every day. That was the only luxury I allowed myself to have. But after a while it got boring and I missed something.

Back then I thought I would miss Partying with Champagne and Pretty Girls. But today I know It was my family and friends that I’ve missed back home.

Looking back while I was building my bankroll, playing 12- 16 hours everyday it has gotten very lonely.

During this whole time playing you have to imagine, you sit down with people that are not really the average people you like to hang out with.

I call them Casino Zombies, drug dealers or addicts, people with huge depth trying to chase break even. It is a constant war because people don’t like you if you win, because that means your winning their money. While I was winning money, I didn’t realise that I was losing my way, day after day.

So at New Years Eve I decided to celebrate in Prague and stay in Czech Republic instead of going home and visit my family and friends.

And even today I would recommend to you to Celebrate New Years Eve in the Golden City.

But not alone, not all by yourself with a lot of money trying to kill the feeling of being lonely.

I had a great time that night but it wasn’t good for me at all because it was an overdose of partying and women. And they killed my feeling of being lonely and that is why I started to shift my focus once again.

I’ve played less only 6-8 hours a day, made only a little less money per day but that didn’t really matter because my bankroll was still solid. But it didn’t took long were I didn’t just played less; I also started playing poorly and started losing money.

15 K on one night

It started to become really bad, when I lost 15 K on one night. It wasn’t in a casino, it was in a private cash game were the Buy In was 5K a stack instead of the usual 200€ or 500€ stack.

On that night I can remember I actually didn’t played poorly, I was very focus because the stackes were very high but I just had bad luck on that night and lost 3 stacks in a row.

I would’ve lost more but I only had 15K in my Backpack with me on that night.

Back at the hotel I was crushed but not broke, I slept or just laid in bed for almost 3 days like an embryo thinking about what I would do with the rest of my money.

I still had a little over 40 K left but I didn’t played for another 2 weeks. In that time I started with boxing. Something I always wanted to do and learn. The first day I felt very old because I was out of shape and I never felt my lunges burning like this before.

But then at the same time I felt young again just like when I played and enjoyed basketball.

The short break was good for me but eventually I started playing again and at the beginning everything went well again. But over the course of 3 months my bankroll slowly faded, page after page down to 3K.

I say page after page because I always kept my money in a book where I had 1K tucked in every page. Counting pages instead of single bills made it easy to keep track. But all the bad habits I’ve developed, how I spended money, the partying and women led to a quick crush in my bankroll.

Surprisingly I didn’t go broke, I was more alert and more focused and stopped with the women and partying because I needed the money to play. Back then I didn’t saw this as an addictive behaviour but today I know that I was just more addicted to gambling then I was to Partying.

New Friends New Crib

During this time I’ve also meet players in the casino. Back then I would’ve said most people lose, a small percentage of players win. Today I would say everybody loses. If it’s not your money then it is defiantly your time, time with your family or friends.

I’ve made some New friends those were the ones who didn’t lose, the solid or good poker players.

It was the players that I respected because they did the same thing that I did. They played to make money, not for fun. One of the guys’s said “I’m playing for Bred”.

I actually wasn’t playing and I wasn’t making money for anything. I was basically just living like a wild animal doing whatever seemed to be good at the present.

And surrounding me with new friends was good for me at the time I thought.

We even moved in together, shared a crib and started doing everything together. Even though we were all winning at the game and making a lot of money none of us actually had a lot of money.

It was me with barely 2K left.

There was B who still had about 600€ in his online account and a little more than that in cash. He was by far the best player out of us 3. A Math machine that always makes the right play and chooses the correct spot’s to gamble. Not much luck is needed in his game. He’s Mongolian but grew up in Germany and had similar background like me, also a Basketball player. One of the reasons we’ve got along so quick and easy, but there were many more things why we became and stayed good friends. He also wanted to escape from his life in Germany but he didn’t know were to go or how to start so I offered him to move in with me.

And then there was Mo, He’s Lebanese but grew up in Berlin, he was a fearless gambler, never afraid to go All In. It was his biggest strength but also his biggest weakness, because he didn’t care if he would lose his money and he didn’t just played poker, he played everything.

He basically was always broke because he took all the money he won at poker and lost it at all, at other casino games.

I was like a wild animal outside of the casino but he was a wild animal with no control inside of the casino. But I only found out about that part of him later.

During this period of time we never really had a lot of money but we always had enough to play. We took care of each other and by that I mean, we always made sure everyone had a stack to make multiple stacks.

I enjoyed this time a lot because I could share my story with people that go trough the same as me. Because just like me they left Germany to escape from their previous life to go and get something better. But even though we played the same game, we all had a different approach.

June 2016

After only 2 months it happened! All three of us were Broke. BROKE! That means nobody had a stack to make a stack. And that also meant we have to go back home but that was the thing none of us wanted to or could do that.

I can still remember this day like it was yesterday. We were sitting all together in my car, crushed with our heads down thinking about how we can get money so all of us would have a new stack.

Today I know It was the wrong way of thinking because we should have all thought about why the 3 of us no longer have a stack anymore.

The only right thing to do at that time was, to drive back to Germany and start a normal life again.

We did drove back to Germany… but not to start a normal life, Instead we started becoming criminal by going to Berlin and buying multiple I phone6’s on credit. Every store 2 Phones each. We went to multiple stores that day and received all the phones in exchange for a down payment over 3 years for every phone. Overall credit was over 10K.

We sold all of those phones the same day and got like 7,5K in cash.

And the next day we left Berlin again for Czech Republic. Hyped and resurrected we started with our second chance. But it didn’t last very long before we went broke again. This time it wasn’t 2 months it only took a couple days.

Mo basically lost 2,5K in less then 20 minutes on a roulette table. And after he did he told B and asked him if he could help him out and he did.

After that money was gone he told me what happened and he asked me if I could help him out and I also did.

After He lost that money he asked both of us again and we didn’t had enough money to help him out anymore. And that was basically the moment our group divided.

From that point on it was only me and B trying to build up again. He was like I said by far the best player out of us and that is why he was able to stack up and build a bankroll like he never had before but I couldn’t keep up.

He wanted to help me out when I went broke a month later but I didn’t want to drag him down with me and decided it was best to go back to Germany and start a normal job again to make sure I could pay back all of the credits.

Temporary Normal Life

So I went back to Germany and It didn’t take long until I accepted a new Job offer for another Basketball Team. I decided to work there for minimum of 2 Years and maybe even 3 Years.

That was the amount of time to pay back most or all of the credit. After that I wanted to Give Poker another try which I did after only 2 years working with the Basketball Team.

During that time I’ve played every now and then, stayed in contact with B who build up his bankroll to over 100K at the time. I studied the Game but mainly it was just all about work, all about Basketball. But to me it felt more like Jail even though I had it good. I had everything again, Nice Apartment and Car, good Money actually everything but time. But today I know that was also good because I didn’t had anything positive in mind spending my time.

In those 2 Years nothing really special happened, except that the police and state attorney investigated against me because of credit Fraud. So I got me a lawyer and we talked about the case and everything seemed to be fine if I would pay all the money back.

And that’s what I did over those 2 years. PAYING BILLS. I was only paying bills, lawyer fees, credit payments, parkingtickets and taxes.

The 2ndAttempt

In May 2018 I moved to Vienna, Austria and tried to make a living with poker for a 2nd time.

I had a lot of time to think about what have might gone wrong and I thought now I was older, wiser and more experienced and I could handle everything better and be successful this time.

It was again a fresh new start, my bankroll wasn’t more then 2K but I moved back in with B who helped me out with the rent in the beginning.

And Vienna was much more different then the poker villages of Czech rep. I loved the

Beautiful city, architecture, nice restaurants …

We was reunited and had a great time and a great start but the good run only lasted 2 and a half months.

Even today I can say that the 2nd Attempt didn’t fail because of Partying, Women or Living in excess like a crazy animal. This time it was clearly just about the game of poker. Bad decision making and bad luck. But back then I couldn’t live with that because I studied and prepared so much during those 2 years were I couldn’t wait to go back to playing poker. But the game changed quickly, to quick for me to adapt.

It obviously wasn’t enough and that is the reason why I made another big decision.

Travel the World with almost no Money

That was the name of a YouTube video that I randomly found and watched and it was very inspiring. I’ve always loved travelling and during my Job with the Basketball Team I could do that but I couldn’t really see anything. So I always have had something like a world travel on my bucket list. I always thought I would have money to do so but after my second attempt Vienna failed I was broke again. On top of that I still had a lot of bills to pay, I no longer wanted to deal with. I wanted out realising I would make proably make things worst.

I couldn’t deal with all of it mentally and that is why I escaped again and ran away from all of my personal problems and financial problems and decided to leave for good.

Of course again I didn’t told my family and friends that I was broke when I left. I didn’t wanted anybody to worry about me when I travel the world with no money.

Because the Plan was basically there is no Plan. Everything was improvised, a work and travel. From city to city, from one country to the next, step by step as far away as possible. Outside of german jurisdiction, outside of europe, it doesn’t matter were, there is no final destination.

Going Towards “World(th)”

The Beginning of the Journey and the Diary:

September 3rd was the first day of my Journey. First by Car, My Dad is the first person that helped me get from one place to the next. From the village to the Town a 10 minute ride and drop off at the train station.

At the beginning very lazy, very comfortable. 8 hour Train ride to Vienna Austria. I consider this my first cheat on day 1, knowing it wont be the last because with only 18€, 2 Backpacks and 2 pair of shoes ( 2 because I’m planning on selling one later on), it almost seems like I set my self up to cheat.

Although cheating is only considered if you break rules. Rules I didn’t really set up yet.

So I guess here they go:

It seemed kind of funny to me that I was setting rules for myself during my escape from a place that had too many rules I simply didn’t wanted to follow. Even tough I’ve had enough of rules, I couldn’t Imagine living life without any. It could be that rules are a neccessity for human beings. They are challenging, yes! They give you a structure and responsibility and are tempting to violate. I am well aware of what I’m doing and I’m pretty sure It is not good, as I’m choosing not to be an adult. Because I’m choosing not to be responsible instead I choose to extend my time of adolescene. And that is actually not something that I’m proud of.

I actually never like to compare myself to others; wich is something that most of us do, espescially nowadays in the world of social media. But with the age of 26 most people are capable of taking care of all their or at least most of their responsibilities. It is obvious that I can’t take care of any of mine; wich is why I’m taking on this odyssey

Day 2

I arrived in Budapest Hungary, -10,90€ for the bus + Bred and a plastic bottle filled with IceTea soon only water, I’m almost out of cash. It fells strange but I can’t wait to run Zero. It seems easier… less options, less options at first but on second thought it seems to me I have more options (options you normally don’t consider). Let’s start with one of them…

Discover without spending, Explore by foot, Explore without phone…and keep moving by foot or hitchhike…

… my first hitchhiking experience was very poor. I changed my location a couple of times, went out further and further. I even meet another hitchhiker but decided to go on. (who would take 2 hitchhikers right?)My result was after 5 hours and 20 km walking…

… I finally got picked up by someone going back towards …Budapest. Of course 

I decided to go back, the next cheat and use train and Bus as long as it is possible.

I will need Healthy feet later on the way. My lesson on this day was, hitchhiking on the highway is not really dangerous but illegal. The Police stopped me twice and also the Highway security, in those moments you think for a second that a car finally stops to take you further.

Back in Budapest I took the train and made a few unintentionally stops. Getting kicked of the train bcus I didn’t had a ticket gave me the oppurtunity to stroll through small villages. I didn’t mind that at all and also I wanted to save my money for the final border station. In Serbia, a few stops in I was broke and kicked of the train once again. So I sold my Last Items (watch, belt and shirts) step by step to keep me going.

Escaping from the System

During does first couple days I had mental up’s and downs. I felt great when I bought a new bus ticket; some bred or was able to find a place to shower. Small and simple things made my day. But you also get frustrated because of little things also, like trying to find a bathroom in a hurry after endlessly walking several blocks while your feet are hurting.

But I also had a chance to think about my life very deeply, with no distractions or anything sucking me out of a daydream.

I could always finish my daydreams and they made more sense then ever. And while I’m writing this I feel like renaming this story.

I thought about “Escaping from the system” Because I realised that’s what I was doing. Escaping! I escaped from home, from all problems, from telling my family and friends the truth. And the truth was that I failed, I failed to live in a System.

So I escaped and started this Journey and created my own System, not a Government System, Social Media System or a Family System. It was my personal Travel System and it worked out for me very well as I travelled faster than I expected.

Serbia, Belgrade

I stayed 2 days in Belgrade and meet a couple nice people there. One of them was a local over 50 years old, his name was Slobodan he was very funny, he showed me around the city and help me to explore.

Near the Bus station of Belgrade there was a Open Refugee Camp where I sold my 2nd Pair of Shoes to a young guy named Asfendia he was only 19 years old and we’ve had a great conversation while we both shared our story’s.

I was amazed by his story and his long Journey and escape from Pakistan to all the way to Belgrade.

We kind of meet in the middle because he wants to go were I am from and I want to go a little past Pakistan, India or maybe Thailand.

Not really sure if I’m going to make it after he told me His story over each border.

But even though I have no money I still have a huge advantage over him…

…A German Passport.

If I get caught riding with no ticket, I only get kicked of and wait for 1 hour and grab the next train. If he gets caught without a Passport, he gets arrested and departed all the way back to Bulgaria.

Why Bulgaria?... Because that was the first time He got arrested, got fingerprints taken and went to a closed refugee camp for 20 days before being released to an open camp for another 10 days, until he his basically free again.

After that he takes one try after another to make it to west Europe and start a new life.

But the amazing part of his story is actually how he made it from Pakistan to Bulgaria.

He escaped from his home and left his family just like me but for more reasonable reasons then I did. He escaped after finishing his school because there was no work for him because of terrorism and war.

He left his Hometown by bus all the way to the border to Iran which he crossed by walking 2 days over the mountain.

Then he hitchhiked for a week all the way to turkey and he stayed and worked in Istanbul for a year as a garbage man.

After a year in Istanbul were he only earned about 2 dollars an hour working 16 hours a day, he decided to continue his Journey and tried to cross the border to Bulgaria thru the forest.

He was told it would only take 3 days but It took him almost 9 days.

And with no more water or bred after 4 days of travel he almost could’ve died in the forest but eventually survived by slurping a little water here and there out of mud puddles he found in the forest.

You can imagine he was very happy about his first arrest in Bulgaria going to a closed refugee Camp for 20 days. But that was the only time he was happy about getting arrested. But that was his life right now and he told me there is no way for him to go back.

Even tho his reasons of escaping from home and leaving family and friends are much greater then mine. I understood him when he said there is no way for him to go back. And I realised he is only one of many thousands who have good reasons to make it to west europe and start a new life without war.

In Germany most people just call it a crisis a “refugee crisis” some call it a problem or a threat to their culture everytime a stranger crosses the borderline. Questionable opinions formed mostly by fear, instead of knowledge or humaneness.

Because of this “refugee crisis” I was proably the only one crazy enough travelling in the opposite direction towards war and poverty. Amazed by his story I continued my Journey.

Bulgaria, Sofia

I felt good doing what I was doing, although until this point I would call It a trade and travel instead of a work and travel because I only sold my stuff most of the time and only found one Job for 2 hours in a small town named Dimitovgrad.

Where I helped locals chop their fire wood for some food and a train ticket, across the border to Bulgaria.

It felt very good finding my first job abroad, and I continued volunteering for a Job because I still had a couple of hours until my train left for Bulgaria.

Wasn’t successful but I still received some money here and there and got enough to not only make it over the border I’ve also made enough to by a ticket all the way to the city of Sofia.

While I was waiting in Dimitovgrad I decided to hitchhike over the border to safe some money.

And I was successful as a guy named Dalibor gave me a ride. Funny Guy, after asking him about what sports he likes, he responded… “Pivot” which means Beer in Serbian language.

After 15 minutes we arrived at the border and he wanted to Drop me off and drive back to Dimitovgrad. But I thought He’s going all the way to the next village of Bulgaria.

A little miscommunication as my Serbian isn’t that good after all.We drove back together and I finally took the train all the way to Sofia.

In Sofia I decided to take a direct Bus all the way to Istanbul. It was only 20€/40Lew I had around 10 Lew.

I thought that was better because there were a lot of stops and only Cyrillic signs that I couldn’t read and In order to not get lost I figured staying here a bit longer and save up the money would be the best solution.

“Sell me that Pen”

That’s a line out of the movie The Wolf of Wall Street. I thought about this line as everything went as planned as I sold almost all of my Items. As my 2 backpacks got lighter and my pockets got bigger I felt like I could sell anything to everyone.

My stage was the Bus and Train station of Sofia, a lot of young people travelling around Europe, waiting for there bus or train to leave to their favourite destination.

It was perfect because they had time and probably money. Which meant I could tell them my story… well not really “My Story”, just “A Story”.

A story that made sense of why I’m selling a “Marc O Polo” Polo shirt for only 5 Lew.

When you tell people you’re travelling, you’re from Germany and you lost your wallet and you need some money for a bus ticket back home… People are willingly to help and Instead of accepting the offer of buying the shirt, they just insist on giving you 5 Lew without taking the shirt.

Eventually every 5th person is okay with that deal and I finally sold something. I eventually made 25 Lew with a shirt that I originally wanted to sell for only 5 Lew.

So I could have almost left on the first day as I was only 4 Lew short to buy the ticket to Istanbul. But the bus left so I decided to buy some food and take the bus the next day.

The next day I had the 40Lew together very early and bought the ticket right away. I still had to wait all day because only the night Bus was 40Lew cheap.

So I decided to make a break with selling… Not with walking tho, so I went sightseeing and along the way I quickly stopped my selling break because I got hungry.

So I sold in order to eat and I did and after that I took a nap for a couple of hours before I prepared for the next city, the next country.

Preparing for the next Destination

As for the city Its always good to know were you can or could shower. Like a public swimming pool or a bathroom. Knowing where to fill up your plastic bottle with water is key. Fountains or restrooms where the fosit water is drinkable become rarity towards where im heading.

As for the Country Its good to know the language, Not completely! The Important thing is, imagine the conversations you will have and prepare only those, so you can learn quick and effective. Everything else will improve by time; depending on how long will stay.

How long I will stay is entirely up to how long I have to stay or if I can find a Job that I would like to do for a longer time.

I found one for example in Sofia at a travel agency, the place were I bought my ticket to Istanbul. I’ve meet a very nice Lady she was the owner of the Travel Agency and while waiting for my bus to leave we had a great conversation and she offered me a Job because of my language skills.

With perfect German and English and Basic’s of Czech/Slovak and Serbian/Croatian she could’ve used me perfectly as a promoter to find costumers travelling with her Agency.

Her name was Margaret, she was Czech Bulgarian and she loved her Job and she was very good at it. I declined her offer but decided to come back and work for her if I get stuck along the road and decided to stay in touch while I continued my Journey.

Turkey, Istanbul

While sitting on the Bus comfortably (compared to my last to sleeping spots) on my way to Istanbul, I would rather want to sleep and get some rest then write.

As my comfortable sleeping spot is only available for a couple of hours so I will talk to you later…

…I Just arrived at the main bus station in Istanbul. I remembered a couple days Back, when I departure from Belgrade and made my 5 day Plan to here.

I said to myself:“In Istanbul I will probably settle down longer” Because surviving in a city can be hard, but dying in the desert is easy. But now that I’m here, only 1 hour, talking to people here is much more difficult then in east Europe. My skills of talking and engaging and getting along with people was drifting with every mile I travelled. Metaphorically I had a huge crash in Istanbul.

It already feelt like the desert in my immagination…

…Everything moved different then I was used to, the people, traffic. It all felt different, the temperature, the air. I was even able to see the heat. Lifelong tools like reading and speaking become useless because I could no longer read the signs or understand what the people are saying and you realise for the first time your preparation of learning the language wasn’t enough.

With that feeling, I thought continueing into the real dessert was better. And decided to end my journey in Europe and begin a new chapter with Asia ASAP.

Istanbul is the best place to be, to transition from Europe to Asia because It is one of the two cities that I know, that has a European and Asian part. It is separated by the Black Sea and the Bosporus.

The other city I’m talking about is called Magnitogorsk, I only know that because I’ve meet a Russian poker player who was born there.