Fruitful hearts E-Book

Ricardo E. Facci

• Herausgeber: Hogares Nuevos Ediciones
• Kategorie: Religion und Spiritualität
• Serie: For a new home
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 161

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2020

Beschreibung

Fruitful Hearts wants to help the growth of the couple so that their hearts are filled with love bountiful in fruits of happiness. The three parts of the book are unified in one sentence: "We love in Jesus." The first part wants to give the couple the opportunity to focus on themselves, and analyzes to what extent they can overcome the "I" to achieve the "US." "We love each other" corresponds to the second part, which tries to guide in the strengthening, knowledge and growth of marital love. "In Jesus", aims to highlight the reality that he lives in the midst of the Christian marriage and brings experience of love. The objective of this book is to provide material, which is working for many, within reach of married couples so that they can discuss the essentials of life, that both are building, using themes that give them the opportunity to confront realistically and with ease their daily lives. It is the hope that these pages will also help those couples who are preparing to live the vocation of marriage.

Leseprobe

Ricardo E. Facci

Fruitful hearts

-To grow as a couple-

Hogares Nuevos Ediciones

Distributes

Association: “Hogares Nuevos”

Zona Urbana S6106XAE-Aaron Castellanos

(Santa Fe)- Argentina

e-mail: [email protected]

www.hogaresnuevos.com

Facci, Ricardo Enrique

Fruitful hearts: to grow as a couple / Ricardo Enrique Facci. - 1a ed. - Aarón Castellanos : Hogares Nuevos Ediciones, 2020.

Libro digital, EPUB - (For a new home / 2)

Archivo Digital: descarga y online

Traducción de: James Felhoffer.

ISBN 978-987-8438-00-9

1. Ambiente Familiar. 2. Relaciones Familiares. 3. Terapia Familiar. I. Felhoffer, James, trad. II. Título.

CDD 158.2

©Association Hogares Nuevos

Zona Urbana S6106XAE - Aarón Castellanos (Santa Fe) - Argentina.

With the proper licenses. The deposit required by law 11.723 is made

November 2020

Argentine Industry

COLLECTION

“For a new home”

1. Constructing conjugal love

2. Fruitful Hearts

To the marriages, members of the Movement“Hogares Nuevos” who with your livesteach each day the wealth of a marriage andfamily and while they constantly encourageto give more of myself more and more, in the workas evangelizer of the domestic Church.

Prologue

Dear friends:

When I wrote the book Constructing Conjugal Love, I never imagined it would have such an impact and several print runs. Maybe it was the fact of having achieved the goal: to provide to the reader an affordable, fun and easy way to reflect on love and married life material. Readers and groups of married couples for some time have insisted that I continue to provide this type of material.

The testimony of many who commented on the use of the book, and its benefits, also encouraged me in this work, as in the case of Mabel and Thomas, who provided this writing to share with you:

Thomas: why one day I just felt...

Mabel: why one day I thought I could by myself...

Thomas: why one day I thought we were two and I was actually alone...

Mabel: why one day I felt we were no longer one, since when ... for how long...?

Thomas: why one day I thought I did not need anyone, not even God...

Mabel: why one day needing someone, God spoke to me through the words of a friend...

Thomas: when I thought that everything was collapsing and that my life no longer had any meaning to me ... that day I looked in the mirror and came across a stranger...

Mabel: in the emptiness of the abyss, on the brink of total collapse, in the back of your eyes God lit a flame and removed the ashes of my heart...

Thomas: in the middle of all this, “someone” who did not even believe was a friend handed me the book Building Conjugal Love.

We approached him with many cracks in our soul. She was anxious and I was suspiciously. Holding hands, on those nights, we went out of the abyss, cleaning our wounds and rebuilding dialogue and lost harmony.

All this has motivated me in the realization of this new book: FRUITFUL HEARTS.

FRUITFUL HEARTS wants to help the growth of the couple so that their hearts are filled with love bountiful in fruits of happiness. The three parts of the book are unified in one sentence: “We love in Jesus.” The first part wants to give the couple the opportunity to focus on themselves, and analyzes to what extent they can overcome the “I” to achieve the “US.”“We love each other” corresponds to the second part, which tries to guide in the strengthening, knowledge and growth of marital love. “In Jesus”, aims to highlight the reality that he lives in the midst of the Christian marriage and brings experience of love.

The objective of this book is to provide material, which is working for many, within reach of married couples so that they can discuss the essentials of life, that both are building, using themes that give them the opportunity to confront realistically and with ease their daily lives. It is the hope that these pages will also help those couples who are preparing to live the vocation of marriage.

Each of the themes has the same format. Ideally, the couple will read them and take the opportunity to talk and pray together. It can also be worked in matrimonial groups, respecting the privacy of the members.

May God bless these pages and those who come to them to renew the freshness of their marital love.

RICARDO ENRIQUE FACCI

IUs

Being One

Therefore, shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh (Gen 2:24).

They had married very much in love. The wedding was beautiful. At the altar they swore love forever. Four years later they separated. What happened? They had married with the firm intention of being one... but after time found that they were “two married singles”... This is very common in many marriages at all latitudes ...

Every day many husbands accuse the spouse of misunderstanding, incompatibility or insurmountable differences and then hire a lawyer for the separation of property, custody of children... and everyone for themselves... Now, why do marriages break up? What is the deepest root cause of separation or divorce?

The answer is subtle, invisible but a dynamic process of disintegration that takes place inside of the couples (in the mind, heart and will). For this reason, this phenomenon, we can call separation of hearts.

For many marriages it never crosses their mind that there’s a definitive separation. But the relationship they live is a separation of hearts, which makes their marriages not fully happy. They are not one being.

What is the “separation of hearts?” It is a subtle phenomenon, it is a constant, progressive and growing lack of intimacy between spouses. It is a mental and emotional separation. A man and a woman living under one roof, but leading separate lives, who relate as strangers. They run parallel lines without ever joining. They are not interested one for the other, but each is immersed in his/her own world. So, a husband can “plug in” fully in their work, sports, friends; and the wife, can dip her energies on hobbies, girlfriends and children. Each does many tasks, which may even be very meritorious, but separately.

When a couple separates, get divorced, it is something you can see and touch and nobody doubts it. But in the “separation of hearts” the act is not visible, touchable, and often goes unnoticed even to the couples themselves. Neither suspect. ATTENTION! The “separation of hearts” begins subtly. It grows and develops even among the best marriages and those who are considered perfect and safe.

Everything individualist: the mentality, feelings, attitudes and behaviors are fertile ground for the separation of hearts. It is a real disease of marital love. Therefore, it is important to identify the symptoms of “separation of hearts.” These symptoms are shown in the sadness that surrounds the marriage, are externalized in a cold treatment, with marked absence of demonstrations of affection. This “separation of hearts” is discovered when one does not care about the problems of the other, nor are there the small details between the two. Just the opposite. There are many fights, screams, moodiness, lack of joy, routine in sexual intercourse, criticism of the spouse in front of third parties. In a couple where the “separation of hearts” exists, life of two is not planned and much less discussed. There begins feelings of insecurity, jealousy, suspicion, loneliness, boredom. The concept of marriage begins to lose hope, to close in a deep individualism, to place importance on other things than the spouse and children (work, money, etc.) and be more open to friendships with others than the marriage itself, resulting in many infidelity cases.

Now, just as in medicine, it is not enough to know the symptoms, in marriage, you need to find the real cause of the “separation of hearts. The experiences dictate, and so say the experts in matrimonial life and communication, the main cause is the lack of dialogue, understanding and comprehension.

Therefore, to prevent or cure the state of “separation of hearts” each spouse must make a real effort to get in the other's shoes to understand it, appreciate it and accept it.

Alicia and Jose told us: “In our relationship, separation of hearts is when one of the two do not make an effort to hear what the other is saying or communicating”. Alicia adds: “This is what I usually do with Jose many times. I have to listen more and better to understand and accept how he really is.”

Maria Angelica said to Luis: “I think that expressions such as ' my home', 'my children', 'my plans', 'my interests', 'my problems' increases the individualism within us and, thus, the separation of hearts. I'll start saying: 'our house', 'our children', 'our plans', 'our interests', 'our issues'.

And Luis said: “I contribute to our separation of hearts, when I do not know what you think or feel. I see that you suffer and I not do my best to understand as soon as possible a deep and loving communication between the two.”

The “be one” is a true marital challenge. It is a complete process of communication which passes through understanding and is achieved by listening and sharing.

To dialogue as a couple

1. Do we live as a couple who love one another or do we still have some “married singles?”

2. Do we have “separation of hearts?” What symptoms did we discover today?

3. Why are marriages considered “perfect and safe” and do not discover that there are areas where they can still grow?

4. Returning to us: Which of the two is more responsible for each symptom that exists in our marriage?

5. What do we purpose to do to improve ourselves?

To pray together

Lord Jesus,we know that we are unitedand you give us graceto grow in unity;that is why we ask you not to stop helping usas we need polishing, still,some rough edgesthat do not allow full unity.

We have discovered some symptomsof separation of hearts,and we want to overcome them,precisely because theyare found in our heartswe are not fully one,but our goal is total unity,Help us, Lord, to growIn the health of marital love.

Amen.

Meet the Needs of Marriage Itself

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing (1 Thessalonians 5, 11).

Each member of the couple has specific concrete needs. It is important that the other party knows them, and as far as possible, satisfies them. But there also exists needs of the marriage such as to seek to grow together.

In my life experience serving marriages, I think the basic need for excellence that demand most couples is to be “one.” This is the most sublime dream of every husband and every wife. Now this desire for full unity is expressed by elements involving the unit’s needs: communication and intimacy. Moreover, as the unit does not mean to close in on itself, there is a need for openness and spirituality.

Being “one”

Liliana stated: “I get the impression that our marital needs are being attended to fine. We complement each other quite well, rather than competing as we did before. We feel good with what we have, rather than mourn what we do not have. You're helping to discover the good in me and inspire me to overcome the negative. Thank you for being mine, I am proud of you. “

We said before that the unit is one of the most sublime ideals of a husband or wife for their marriage. But we must clarify that there are diverse types and stages of the unit.

As for the latter, we know that unity is not static as opposed to disunity. But through the various stages there exists the possibility of growing in the unit, causing it to grow farther away from disunity. Thus, the unit is not a mere sentiment, but something much deeper which requires serious work to go about destroying (without losing the individuality) the “I” and to build “us.”

With regard to the fact that the unit is not a loss of individuality and the personality of each, we see two possible types of unity, one true and one false.

Many falsely confuse unity with uniformity. Everything conjures up the image of the same symphony. But it is not, because no symphony consists of a single note repeated throughout the entire piece. When you look at a staff you discover a piece of music that is composed of a wide variety of notes. It is true, genuine, and is compatible with the differences. And it is always realized with variety. Otherwise, what is achieved is pure uniqueness or dominion of one over the other.

True unity is only reached by those who honestly share and walk together in the same direction: having one and only one heart; one mind and one soul. Now, how to satisfy the unity that you need in a practical way?

To be a solid reality the unit demands a deep communication that, in turn, opens the door to a great intimacy.

Communication

Jorge commented: “The most important need in our marriage is our trust and mutual communication. Open up with one another to share our feelings, our sorrows and joys, our fears, and even our weaknesses. Only then can we understand and help each other“.

Without communication, without a deep dialogue, it is impossible that couples are happy in their marriage. Communication between the two is the concrete way to grow and mature in love. But for that communication to be effective, you need to devote time to marital dialogue. We must never forget that people are more important than things. Ah! Do Not forget that the greatest enemy of communication is individualism.

Privacy

It is the natural fruit of a mature conjugal relationship. Hence Liliana said: “Our loving intimacy grows as the time we spend with the other, the things we do together, our frequent and increased communication, and our prayer.”