God Is Still Good E-Book

Katie Faris

• Herausgeber: Crossway
• Kategorie: Religion und Spiritualität
• Sprache: Englisch

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2022

Beschreibung

Where Do You Turn When Motherhood Isn't What You Expected?  Each mother's story is unique. While motherhood brings joy and love, it can also bring pain and heartache. It's often different than expected and it can be hard to know where to turn when difficulty and loneliness rise up. God Is Still Good: Gospel Hope and Comfort for the Unexpected Sorrows of Motherhood invites women to experience God's comfort and leads moms to put their hope in Christ, despite the unexpected trials of raising children.  Katie Faris knows well the challenges of parenting. As a mother of 5, she has experienced the trials of motherhood but also knows the comfort of our Savior, Jesus. Through 10 chapters, God Is Still Good offers a biblical context for suffering and hope, answers common questions, and addresses prevalent temptations and lies that mothers are likely to face. - Each Chapter Ends with Bible Verses and Questions: Great for individual study or easily adaptable for a women's ministry or small-group use - Biblical Context for Suffering and Hope: Points to biblical figures who teach readers about grief, suffering, and comfort - Lie and Truth Chart: Appendix includes 10 lies that women are tempted to believe during suffering, with 10 biblically grounded answers to those lies 

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“This book is a lifeline for every mom who has ever felt alienated by the advice to ‘savor the season’ or defeated by the encouragement to ‘enjoy every moment’ of raising her kids—whether because of hard diagnoses, neurodiversity, complicated births, illness, loss, or just the average Tuesday. With gentleness and vulnerability, Katie Faris not only offers suffering mothers validation and permission to grieve their hardships but she also equips them to see their circumstances through the lens of Scripture, renewing their hope and confidence in God’s goodness to them even and especially within the suffering with which they have been entrusted.”

Abbey Wedgeworth, mom of three; author, Held: 31 Biblical Reflections on God’s Comfort and Care in the Sorrow of Miscarriage

“Katie Faris shows us that parenting is not a pain-free experience, nor should that be our goal; it is a deep dependency on Christ. His strength is made perfect in weakness, and he is forming us through our grief and painful parenting experiences. Be encouraged: the gospel does indeed offer hope, comfort, and purpose in our journey.”

Julie E. Lowe, Counselor and Faculty Member, Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation

“When the gift of motherhood is overshadowed by the grief of motherhood, we need a solid place to set our hope. Katie Faris helps us honestly engage our sorrows and points us to the only one who is enough to sustain and comfort us through them. If the trials of motherhood are overwhelming you and the heartache feels too heavy to bear, this book will be a balm to your weary heart, reminding you that God is still—and always will be—good. Read and find refuge in him.”

Amy DiMarcangelo, author, A Hunger for More: Finding Satisfaction in Jesus When the Good Life Doesn’t Fill You

“God Is Still Good helps moms to remember what our sorrows can help us to forget: we’re neither alone nor without hope in Christ. In this book, Katie Faris serves readers as a conduit of God’s comfort—a sympathetic sister who, as a result of her own painful trials in motherhood, has learned to lean on sustaining grace in the midst of desperation, grief, and disappointment. If you’re a weary mother in need of encouragement—wondering how you’re going to make it through the troubles of today—then the practical wisdom in this book is especially for you.”

Christine Chappell, author, Help! My Teen Is Depressed and Help! I’ve Been Diagnosed with a Mental Disorder; Host, Hope + Help Podcast; certified biblical counselor

God Is Still Good

Other Gospel Coalition Books

A Better Encouragement: Trading Self-Help for True Hope, by Lindsey Carlson

Confronting Christianity: 12 Hard Questions for the World’s Largest Religion, by Rebecca McLaughlin

Confronting Jesus: 9 Encounters with the Hero of the Gospels, by Rebecca McLaughlin

Demystifying Decision-Making: A Practical Guide, by Aimee Joseph

Everyday Faithfulness: The Beauty of Ordinary Perseverance in a Demanding World, by Glenna Marshall

Faithful Endurance: The Joy of Shepherding People for a Lifetime, edited by Collin Hansen and Jeff Robinson Sr.

Finding the Right Hills to Die On: The Case for Theological Triage, by Gavin Ortlund

Glory in the Ordinary: Why Your Work in the Home Matters to God, by Courtney Reissig

Gospel-Centered Youth Ministry: A Practical Guide, edited by Cameron Cole and Jon Nielson

Growing Together: Taking Mentoring beyond Small Talk and Prayer Requests, by Melissa B. Kruger

Keeping Your Children’s Ministry on Mission: Practical Strategies for Discipling the Next Generation, by Jared Kennedy

Letters Along the Way: From a Senior Saint to a Junior Saint, by D. A. Carson and John D. Woodbridge

Mission Affirmed: Recovering the Missionary Motivation of Paul, by Elliot Clark

Missional Motherhood, by Gloria Furman

The New City Catechism

The Plurality Principle: How to Build and Maintain a Thriving Church Leadership Team, by Dave Harvey

Praying Together: The Priority and Privilege of Prayer: In Our Homes, Communities, and Churches, by Megan Hill

Rediscover Church: Why the Body of Christ Is Essential, by Collin Hansen and Jonathan Leeman

Seasons of Waiting: Walking by Faith When Dreams Are Delayed, by Betsy Childs Howard

Word-Filled Women’s Ministry: Loving and Serving the Church, edited by Gloria Furman and Kathleen B. Nielson

God Is Still Good

Gospel Hope and Comfort for the Unexpected Sorrows of Motherhood

Katie Faris

Foreword by Megan Hill

God Is Still Good: Gospel Hope and Comfort for the Unexpected Sorrows of Motherhood

Copyright © 2023 by Katie Faris

Published by Crossway1300 Crescent StreetWheaton, Illinois 60187

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher, except as provided for by USA copyright law. Crossway® is a registered trademark in the United States of America.

Cover design: Shutterstock

Cover image: Molly von Borstel

First printing 2023

Printed in the United States of America

Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. The ESV text may not be quoted in any publication made available to the public by a Creative Commons license. The ESV may not be translated into any other language.

All emphases in Scripture quotations have been added by the author.

Trade paperback ISBN: 978-1-4335-8238-7 ePub ISBN: 978-1-4335-8241-7 PDF ISBN: 978-1-4335-8239-4 Mobipocket ISBN: 978-1-4335-8240-0

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Faris, Katie, 1978– author.

Title: God is still good : gospel hope and comfort for the unexpected sorrows of motherhood / Katie Faris ; foreword by Megan Hill.

Description: Wheaton, Illinois : Crossway, 2023. | Includes bibliographical references and index.

Identifiers: LCCN 2022017677 (print) | LCCN 2022017678 (ebook) | ISBN 9781433582387 (trade paperback) | ISBN 9781433582394 (pdf) | ISBN 9781433582400 (mobipocket) | ISBN 9781433582417 (epub)

Subjects: LCSH: Mothers—Religious life. | Motherhood—Religious aspects—Christianity. | Consolation. | Expectation (Psychology)—Religious aspects—Christianity. | God (Christianity)—Goodness. | Hope—Religious aspects—Christianity.

Classification: LCC BV4529.18 .F35 2023 (print) | LCC BV4529.18 (ebook) | DDC 248.8/431—dc23/eng/20220804

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2022017677

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2022017678

Crossway is a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

2022-12-05 12:04:00 PM

Contents

Foreword by Megan Hill

Introduction

1 Motherhood Isn’t What I Expected

2 Real Pain, Real Comfort

3 Grief-Worthy

4 Another Story

5 So Many Questions

6 God Is Still Good

7 God Is Doing Something

8 Learning to Talk

9 The Secret of Biblical Contentment

Epilogue

Appendix A: Go-To Bible Verses

Appendix B: Lie and Truth Chart

Acknowledgments

General Index

Scripture Index

This book is for all those who walk on

harrowing paths related to motherhood—

but especially my parents.

“So we do not lose heart. . . .

For this light momentary affliction is preparing

for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.”

2 Corinthians 4:16–17

Foreword

Megan Hill

Every Thursday morning, a group of moms meets at our church. We call it “playgroup,” as if it were for the good of the children, but really it’s for the moms. It’s our chance to laugh, to drink coffee, to share stories. The night before, we text one another a reminder: “Playgroup tomorrow, 10 a.m. See you there!” But when Thursday morning comes, we are never all there on time. One by one, long past ten, we each straggle in, explanations on our lips.

“I was all set to walk out the door, but my youngest tripped on the stairs.”

“I would have been here earlier, but I had to run my teenager’s lunch to the school.”

“This was the week I was going to be on time, but the two-year-old decided not to sleep last night.”

We offer these excuses as if the situations were unexpected, but this week’s disruption is basically the same as last week’s. If it’s not a forgotten lunch box, it’s lost gym clothes. If it’s not a bruised knee, it’s spilled Cheerios. If it’s not nightmares, it’s temper tantrums. Truly, it’s always something.

Motherhood is never what we predicted, and yet, somehow, we are still surprised every time something doesn’t go according to plan.

In addition to the everyday disruptions that can challenge even the most organized of moms, our lives are also rerouted by more significant circumstances. From navigating special needs to loving rebellious teens, we adjust our expectations for motherhood again and again.

These are not experiences unique to the moms in my church. All mothers have had days and years that looked nothing like they planned.

Perhaps better than most, Jesus’s mother, Mary, knew the unexpected upheavals of motherhood (see chap. 4). She was an unmarried virgin when an angel appeared and announced her pregnancy, and her life as a mom didn’t get any more predictable from there. Soon after Jesus’s birth, motherhood put Mary’s life in danger and forced her to emigrate to a foreign country (Matt. 2:13–15). Later, she searched for three anxious days for her preteen, who’d been in the temple all along (Luke 2:41–51). Over the course of thirty years, she pondered the mystery of her son’s identity (Luke 2:19, 51), witnessed his miracles (John 2:1–12), and reckoned with her place as just one mother among many in her son’s eternal family (Matt. 12:46–50).

Motherhood was nothing Mary could have anticipated.

In the final hours of Jesus’s earthly life, Mary experienced the greatest sorrow of motherhood. She stood at the cross as soldiers gambled for her son’s clothing and the grave waited for his life. But in the hour of her son’s death, she was not abandoned: “When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, ‘Woman, behold your son!’ Then he said to the disciple, ‘Behold your mother!’” (John 19:26–27). From the cross, Jesus took notice of her and cared for her. At the worst moment of her motherhood, he provided a family and a future for her.

Dear sister, this same Jesus cares for you in the struggles of your own motherhood. When upheavals overtake you and you stand, helpless, at the foot of his cross, he will show you the same tender care he showed Mary. He will give you a family in his church and a future in his heavenly kingdom. What’s more, he will give you his very self—broken for your sins and raised for your new life.

In the pages of this book, Katie Faris will point you again and again to the precious promises of Scripture for struggling moms. She’ll show you that it’s okay to weep at the cross for the sorrows motherhood has brought you, but then she’ll lift your eyes to the Savior who suffered on the cross for you. As you experience the unexpected, she’ll remind you that in Jesus Christ we have a faithful friend and a Savior for sinners. He is the “sure and steadfast anchor of the soul” (Heb. 6:19), and in him we have the hope and comfort we need.

Introduction

If you’re reading this book, it’s likely motherhood looks different than you expected. Maybe something you hoped for is missing, or maybe you face challenges you never saw coming. Or you want to help someone for whom that’s the case. My prayer is that this book offers gospel hope and comfort to all moms, but especially to those who feel hurt and bewildered by the unexpected sorrows of motherhood. But first, a memory.

A Story of Suffering and Grace

I sat at the kitchen table, a teenager in animated conversation with my mom, when she paused. A fleeting look passed over her eyes, and I tried to discern its meaning. Now it makes more sense; that moment was an awakening. As her mind traced back over the years, my mom realized something: I didn’t remember.

While you and I live the more painful parts of motherhood, a lot of times our children are oblivious. They don’t know anything different than what they experience. At least in the beginning, their suffering is simply part of their experience. It could be elevated liver enzymes or a missing limb. Like the milk they drink or the sunlight passing warmth over their faces, it just is. For me, learning to crawl in a back brace had simply been learning to crawl. As a child, I hadn’t thought twice about the fact that I looked like a turtle lugging its shell. It’s just the way it was.

That afternoon, it clicked for my mom. I didn’t remember things that for her were so vivid and packed with emotion: all the dire pronouncements from doctors; dozens of X-rays; challenges surrounding finding a specialist; financial concerns; and prayers of caring family and friends. I’d forgotten all of them along with my first taste of rice cereal.

But my mom remembered so much, from my arrival at dawn and first smile to the deep concern over my mixed-up vertebrae, the diagnosis of congenital kyphoscoliosis, and the questions about what the future would look like for her baby who wasn’t like other babies. She knew the agony and tears that came with simultaneously loving the little girl God had specially formed while fighting the perception that motherhood hadn’t delivered a well-formed daughter. And she understood how God had used that same agony and those same tears to deepen the roots of what had been her newly found faith and plant her in the soil of his word. With strong threads, the Lord had woven together the hearts of a young father, a new mother, and their firstborn child—a family—and had fused the bonds between this family and their church family, who joined them in praying and watching how God would work.

That day in the kitchen, my mom told me a story of suffering and grace, of pain and praise, of sacrifice and surrender, of hope and comfort. It was a story that neither she nor I chose, but it was a story in which God was the hero.

Hope and Comfort for You

What’s your story, and who are its main characters? How has motherhood been a source of heartache or confusion, and when has it kept you awake at night? What plot twists have you already navigated, and what challenges do you currently face? Which chapters of your story prompt you to question God’s goodness and how it plays out in your life? Whoever you are, and whatever your story is, thank you for opening God Is Still Good:Gospel Hope and Comfort for the Unexpected Sorrows of Motherhood.

Decades have passed since that conversation with my mom, and I’ve learned for myself that motherhood is much more than suffering, but it’s not less, and there’s a particular kind of suffering that moms experience. Maybe you’ve been walking on a difficult path for a long time, or maybe you’re just starting out. Not to discourage you, but if you haven’t encountered any thorns on your motherhood journey yet, you probably will at some point. When you do, in this book I hope you hear the validation of your pain. Whether you and I endure hardship in our own bodies or as moms caring for children facing difficulties, our afflictions are real, and our pain is worthy of grief.

But that’s not all. While the Lord may not answer all our questions about our trials, the Bible provides a framework that explains our suffering and helps us combat common temptations and lies that travel with them. Through his word, God offers real hope and comfort even for the most heart-wrenching parts of motherhood. This hope is more than wishful thinking because it is grounded in God’s past, present, and future faithfulness and anchored in the gospel of Jesus Christ. Similarly, God’s comfort is more than sympathy—it offers courage and strength to the afflicted.

Yes, God is still good.

I may not know your name, but the Lord does. As you read, I pray that he uses the truths in this book to reassure you of his goodness toward you. God has given us stories of suffering and grace, and whether we tell them to our children at a kitchen table one day or to the ladies in our small groups or to an even broader audience, may they reflect his story and bring him much glory.

1

Motherhood Isn’t What I Expected

Motherhood isn’t what I expected. It hasn’t delivered all that I hoped it would, and instead it’s given me some things I never asked for. What about you? Has motherhood been all you dreamed it would be? If not, you aren’t as alone as you might think.

To be honest, I’m not sure what I expected. But it’s been a whole lot more—more joy and more sorrow. It’s also been both; it’s been a call to service and sacrifice as well as one of the most rewarding experiences imaginable under heaven. While being a mom is a desirable and godly calling, it’s one that exposes a heart to the wounding arrows of pain and grief. Some say it’s a labor of love; it’s also labor and love.

Keep in mind, there’s no one-size-fits-all. Sometimes motherhood blooms in the security of a loving marriage, but sometimes a baby is born into a strained marriage or outside of marriage altogether. Motherhood can come according to plan, sooner or later than hoped, or only briefly, leaving us empty-armed and soul-scarred. It arrives by Caesarean section, vaginal delivery, foster care, or adoption; to poverty or financial stability; with ecstasy or trauma.

We moms aren’t one-size-fits-all either. We bring a variety of ages, ethnicities, family backgrounds, educational and career choices, life experiences, and expectations with us on this both wonderful and perilous journey. All these factors impact how we approach and process the wins and losses of mom life—wins and losses which are themselves both real and varied.

So when we traverse this road called motherhood and approach the vulnerable places where it meets suffering, we do so bearing burdens of all shapes and sizes. Similarly, our detours onto more precarious paths may differ significantly. One mom encounters the sign with an arrow pointing to “Infertility” while another reads “Special Needs.” Some approach these signs earlier on their parenting journey; others bump into “Childhood Leukemia” or “Rebellious Daughter” further down the road. Sadly, some moms expect to read “Racial Discrimination”; others, like me, are surprised by “Genetic Condition.”

Each of our stories is unique, but all matter. Each mother and each child is an image bearer of immense value and worth in the eyes of Almighty God, and though gut-wrenching and tear-stained, our stories find meaning and redemption when they are viewed as part of his story.

We can feel isolated on these thorny, off-road trails of motherhood. Whether alone in the NICU, a bedroom, or a food pantry line, we can be cut off from or misunderstood by family and friends. But these paths can also be the very same places where we meet Jesus for the first time—or get to know him and his ways better. Jesus is the God-man: “Though he was in the form of God, [he] did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men” (Phil. 2:6–7).

As one who understands the human experience, and suffering in particular, Jesus sympathizes with our weaknesses. And even though he resisted temptation, he knows its pull. We can expect grace and help when we draw near to Jesus on these lonely paths (Heb. 4:15–16).

Whether it’s stretch marks, late-night feedings, a child’s compromised immune system, or a wayward teenager, there are real hardships that accompany this beautiful calling. Motherhood may require more faith than anything else we’ve ever participated in, but it can also open our eyes much wider to our complete dependence on Jesus, his sufficiency, the beauty of the gospel, and the soul-satisfying promises of God. Stressed, weary, hurting, anxious, fearful, and struggling moms like you and me are desperate for the hope and comfort that God offers in his word when motherhood doesn’t deliver as expected. Here’s some of my story.

Growing Up

One of my favorite children’s book series was The Boxcar Children by Gertrude Chandler Warner. As the oldest child in my family, I think I admired the self-sufficiency of the four main characters and how they looked out for one another after their parents died. Later, I devoured Anne of Green Gables, L. M. Montgomery’s story of an imaginative orphan girl who finds an unlikely but loving home with an elderly brother and sister. (I’m not sure how my parents felt about my attraction to orphan tales, but my mom and dad supported my love for reading.) Perhaps influenced by this steady literary diet, when I thought of being a mom in my early years, my mental image included adopting at least six children. There was no husband in those early aspirations toward motherhood.

At some point in adolescence, my ideas shifted. Boys became more interesting—intriguing, actually. I thought I might even want to kiss one. My physical and emotional maturity coincided with a spiritual awakening. No longer the want-to-be self-sufficient child imagining herself as a strong, self-sufficient single woman raising a boatload of kids, my thoughts expanded, leaving more room for marriage. They also became more rooted in Scripture.

Having been brought up in a Christian home, I knew the gospel and trusted in Jesus for the forgiveness of my sins at an early age. But in my teen years, I wrestled to make my faith my own. As the Lord met me in that struggle, my love for the Bible also grew. Reading that Eve was designed as a helper for Adam, equally addressed in God’s mandate, “‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it’” (Gen. 1:28), I began to wonder whether God might have a husband for me, someone with whom I would be united in work and mission. I started contemplating the future from the perspective of helper, nurturer, and caregiver. My much younger brother and sister as well as extensive babysitting opportunities outside of my home gave me plenty of practical experience caring for children during my teen years.

Even as I pursued a college education and then ministry opportunities, desires for marriage and motherhood were strong, and I regularly prayed for the man I hoped to marry and any children we would have.

Not What I Expected

For me, marriage and children came later than I expected, but they came fairly close together. Before I married Scott