Happiness E-Book

Dr. Costa P

• Herausgeber: Tektime
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2022

Seitenzahl: 141

Beschreibung

”If you are someone who is organized, methodical, perfectionist, meticulous and... yet you don't know what is wrong with your life, this book is for you!”

Will you be able to change your life despite the pranks of your brain? Our brain often deceives us and plays tricks on us by giving us the illusion of joy and Happiness. Habituation to Happiness is a phenomenon that wears down what makes us happy or joyful. In this book, you will learn about mechanisms that control our brain and understand why we are never satisfied. In short, you will decipher what creates frustration and how the five ephemeral elements of the brain work. Then, you will take charge of your life and be able to change using the five sustainable values of the brain to focus more on contentment and appreciation of the pleasant sensations offered to you by life. It is a motivational book that will help you to discover a lot about yourself. “Will you be able to do it?”

Leseprobe

Copyright ©2022, Dr. COSTA P.

Publisher’s Mark: The One, Independently published.

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce all or part of this book in any form whatsoever. Practitioners and patients should always rely on their own experience and knowledge in assessing and using any advice, information, and treatment described herein. Science is advancing rapidly, and therefore readers should rely on their common sense in the personal use of information in the book. The author assumes no liability for any injury and/or damage to persons or property arising from product liability, negligence or otherwise, or from the use or application of any information, instructions, products, or ideas contained in this publication.

HAPPINESS

FROM BRAIN HABITUATION

TO FULL BLOOM

Translated by Nintai Moses

To my family,

To my friends,

To my colleagues,

To my patients,

my main sources of inspiration.

Will you be able to change your life

despite the “pranks of the brain”?

The brain often deceives us and plays tricks on us by creating the illusion of joy and happiness. Habituation to happiness is a phenomenon that erodes what makes us happy or joyful.

In this book, you will learn about mechanisms that control the brain and understand why we are never satisfied. In short, you will decipher what creates frustration and how the five ephemeral elements of the brain work. Then, you will take charge of your life and be able to change using the brain’s durable values to focus more on contentment and appreciation of the pleasant sensations offered to you by life. It is a motivational book that will help you discover a lot about yourself.

| FOREWORD |

I would like to begin this book with a few anecdotes from my day-to-day life as a doctor.

My first anecdote concerns a patient. She was a young woman in her thirties who had just become a mother for the first time. She was beaming with happiness. It was the first time I saw her after she gave birth. She was indeed radiant, smiling, and blooming. "I’m a happy and fulfilled woman," she told me at the time.

Seven or eight months later, another medical appointment was scheduled. I no longer found a young radiant and fulfilled mother. Not that she had lost her spirit, but the happiness of being a mother seemed to have "petered out." "There are good things about being a mom, but there are also a lot of changes that transform everyday life..." she said to me in a gloomy tone.

Obviously, the intense joy of having a child had subsided. She was already tired and wondering about the compatibility between work and being able to raise her child. She was also nervous: I remember she kept rubbing her hands uncontrollably. At the end of the consultation, I remember saying to myself, "What a pity: she had thought that by becoming a mother, she would be the happiest woman, that she would be at the height of happiness, but that is clearly not the case." Experience is often more unpleasant than what the brain and mind want us to imagine.

The second example that stuck with me as a practitioner was that of a man, thirty-two years old, who had just bought the house of his dreams with his partner and, after a few weeks of work, was finally enjoying it. He came in for a routine consultation and said, "Now that I've bought the house I've always wanted, I can enjoy life." Several months later, he came back to my office, looking defeated. Problems at work and family worries were weighing on his spirits and had snuffed out the positive energy he had during the previous consultation. He was down. I naively asked, "So, how’s the house? Do you still feel good in it?” His answer was snappy, the tone of his voice bitter: "Oh yeah... well, you know, we’ve gotten used to it."

Clearly, what had been the source of his happiness a few months earlier was no longer so. The house wasn’t as sustainable a source of fulfillment as one might have thought.

The third anecdote that illustrates the brain’s pranks concerns another young man, who had just graduated and had been recruited in a large international consulting firm. Coming from a family with limited financial means, the job, with a permanent contract and extremely well paid, filled him with joy. He was due to start a few days after the consultation and was very excited. First of all, this type of job was appealing to him. Secondly, since he was professionally integrated—and even very well integrated—he could project himself in the future: buy a house, go on vacation, have a family life, etc. He was excited and felt that his studies were finally paying off. To be honest, I thought I’d never see him again, because the firm he had joined was in the heart of Paris, in the very chic 16th district. About one year later, he reappeared, to my great surprise. He had given up his job, moved back to the provinces, and decided to take the competitive exam to become a specialized teacher. As far as I can remember, when I asked him about it, he answered: "At first, I loved the job; it was exciting. But after a few months, I realized that I had no life. I was working until midnight and often on weekends, including Sundays! I thought that the job was going to enable me to bloom, but it was crushing me. What I need is a job that makes sense to me, even if it pays less."

These anecdotes illustrate what I call the "prankster brain." It is a phenomenon that wears down what makes us happy or joyful: as soon as a source of well-being or happiness comes into our life, we gradually forget it, and it loses its power to make us happy. The brain encourages us to always look for "more" instead of "better," that is to say, for ways to achieve well-being and personal fulfillment that are durable, deep, and stable.

The brain deceives us and plays tricks on us by giving us the illusion of joy and happiness, only to let us get used to it and become bored. Why is this so? Simply because this phenomenon makes happiness ephemeral and short-lived; it gets us used to happiness as if it were a given and pushes us to seek even more satisfaction. It encourages us to look for more sensations of well-being and happiness, like a headlong rush toward "always more" joy. Something like addiction, that's for sure.

This phenomenon, so strong in our lives even though we don't realize it most of the time, is easy to recognize for ourselves. Have you ever wanted something badly, imagining that it would make your life different, happier, more exciting? Then, finally, after getting it (e.g., degree, promotion, the latest video game console), after the first few moments, you became accustomed to it, and the joy you had experienced gradually faded away. The brain then projects us toward another goal that we hope will generate happiness again. But the same mechanism is in place and, once again, the feeling of joy is short-lived. This makes us go further and further, seeking other sources of happiness to satisfy our never-satiated brain.

This phenomenon helps to create a society of eternally dissatisfied people, in permanent expectation, who don’t know how to enjoy and be satisfied with what they already have. It’s a bit like our modern society pushing us to get tired very quickly of the things we want. Advertisements encourage us to do so. The world of ready-made clothes is a good example: it encourages us to constantly renew our wardrobe, even though we rarely wear most of the clothes more than once. Advertising and marketing professionals are just playing with our prankster brain and amplifying its mechanism.

Over the past few years, neuroscience has made considerable progress and new discoveries about how the brain works, providing more insight into how we function every day. This is explained by science. We now have better knowledge and understanding of the brain’s mechanisms.

What is certain and universal is that we all want happiness. We find it in small everyday things, great or small moments of satisfaction, but in the end, everything is temporary. Nothing lasts for long. The excitement and satisfaction ebb away. The brain runs the show, so to speak. Is this a bad thing? Not necessarily. The essence is to observe, not to judge.

We complain about so many things, we who are privileged to have a full stomach. If we are dissatisfied, it’s because we feel some emptiness in us now and again! Indeed, material things will only satisfy us for a while. Perhaps we need some meaning in our lives. Maybe some love. Some recognition, some gratitude.

When we are lost, we are a bit like dead leaves that are blown from the pavement to the stream and must follow its course. In the evening, when we look at the stars, we should give thanks for all the little moments of contentment that give life extra flavor. Sometimes, life seems bitter, but this perception will help us to better appreciate its sweet moments. We need these contrasts.

We need to be aware of the brain’s deceptive nature, which makes us believe that happiness is always elusive. We often become used to happiness and prosperity mainly because of the brain’s mechanisms. At times, we feel good, happy, and valiant, and then the next day, everything fades away. Our blossoming for a day or a moment evaporates, and we start looking for books, guides, personal development coaches in an effort to maintain the feeling.

Individual well-being and blossoming are not small issues. "Blossoming" is a word that we use in all sorts of ways. Originally, it was used to describe the unfolding of a flower’s corolla. In human beings, it describes a state of being fulfilled, being radiant and comfortable. It means being calm and balanced, benefiting from all opportunities in life, irrespective of the difficulties encountered. Finally, blossoming is the experienced and concrete expression of happiness.

However, if we don’t understand how the brain works, this experience can’t be fully enjoyed. Our deceptive brain is particularly good at making us want to stay in this state of bliss and buoyancy, but it never lasts. Things don't work that way: when we say to ourselves "I'm happy", it doesn't last. Why? It’s simply because that’s our habituation—in other words, our addiction to happiness, which is controlled by the brain.

This book seeks to radically change the way we see our lives by making us aware of this habituation to happiness, which is endless, because the brain is gradually made to reduce the effect of what we enjoy. Understanding this is fundamental, because it is at the core of the human being’s delicate and complex nature.

Let's use our deceptive brain to rediscover our inner wealth and stop being fooled by the illusions that have often impacted our lives. Let's regain control. Joy, happiness, and contentment are already within us; however, the brain has given us certain habits, and we have lost the spice of life. Yet, everything is there, like a treasure buried within us that must be dug out. This is the key to happiness and inner fulfillment that is healthier, more secure, and more subtle.

Part 1 

| SOME INITIAL CLARIFICATIONS |

1. Hedonism

It’s with this first clarification that I would like to start. It’s important. Indeed, I have noted that many people confuse happiness with hedonism.

So, let's be clear—there’s hedonism and hedonism. What do I mean by this? It simply means that we must distinguish hedonism as portrayed in Greek philosophy from hedonism as it is commonly understood today. In its original sense, hedonism is a philosophy attributed to Aristippus of Cyrene in the fifth century BC. The pursuit of pleasure and avoidance of suffering as the goal of human existence are the essential principles of this ancient school of thought. Epicureanism is sometimes associated with it in a more global sense. In this philosophy, human beings seek after the simple pleasures of life. Hedonism calls for moderation in the pursuit of pleasure. Happiness is found in a simple, direct, and moderate appreciation of small joys, and it is through their moderate enjoyment and real contentment that human life can be appreciated.

However, we are concerned here with the common and confusing meaning. Paradoxically, the original meaning of hedonism has been transformed: whereas it used to refer to moderate enjoyment, it has become synonymous with total and unlimited enjoyment. This is strange. It is as if the brain has played a trick and made us interpret ancient wisdom in a way that suits us, that is, instant gratification. We are in an era of "everything here and now." Whereas originally, hedonism advocated the appreciation of small human joys, even the simplest ones, the current meaning turns rather toward the idea of unbridled satisfaction of our impulses and desires. Thus, Larousse provides these two definitions:

- “philosophy that makes pleasure the goal of life” and

- “motivation of economic activity that seeks maximum satisfaction with minimum effort”.

What is common in both definitions is that they define hedonism as the selfish pursuit of pleasure. We then discover another trick by the brain: a form of guilt that sometimes shows its ugly face when we selfishly "let go" for personal satisfaction, especially when this happens at the expense of others.

The word “hedonism” has therefore evolved over time, creating erroneous interpretations. So as to clarify things from the outset: this book does not advocate the idea of unbridled satisfaction of pleasures and desires. It does not defend the principle of "do and take what you want." The societal damage of such compulsive behaviors is currently so evident that we don’t need to go in that direction.

Our everyday use of language associates epicureanism with hedonism. Here again, there is a lot of confusion with Epicurus’ original philosophy. But that’s not the issue. In the common sense, hedonism and epicureanism have become synonymous and refer to the pursuit of immediate pleasures. "Carpe diem" ("seize the day") for most people means "enjoy." A hedonist or epicurean is one who enjoys. But what does it mean to enjoy? Today, for many people, to enjoy means, for example, buying, going on vacation, having a nice big house, or taking what you want right away. In short, the prankster brain distorts the meaning of the word "enjoy" and makes it synonymous with satisfying useless desires and indulging in impulsive and unconstructive pleasures. Enjoying then amounts to "enjoying without conscience," and we justify our whims in a totally selfish way: "It's my right to have pleasure." We no longer think about the effects of our personal satisfaction on others because we react automatically, guided only by a brain that makes us believe that such and such a thing will make us happy.

However, in this book, the verb "enjoy" is understood more in the sense that the sages of Antiquity gave it: to live one's life with conscience and without excess, savoring the small things while keeping away from the evil ones.

*****

This book seeks to grasp the mechanisms that control the brain so as to understand why we are never satisfied, even after obtaining what we wanted. In short, it seeks to decipher the notions of frustration, dissatisfaction, and incompleteness, and to focus more on contentment and appreciation of the pleasant feelings offered to us by life. We could say that, in doing so, we seek quality in pleasure more than quantity. The prankster brain pushes us more toward the search for "more" than "better." However, the notion of contentment is not an empty word. It can be put into practice. To do so, it is necessary to understand how the brain works, how it somehow fools us into believing that we never have enough or that such and such a thing will make our life wonderful. It does, but for how long? A day, a week, a year? And then what? We "fall again" and are trapped in ruminations, frustrations, and feelings on the limits.

2. You are happy

Let's start with a simple and straightforward truth that is very scarcely heard: you are happy.