Have a Nice Conflict E-Book

Tim Scudder

• Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
• Kategorie: Fachliteratur
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 228

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2011

Beschreibung

How to successfully navigate and prevent conflict From the publishers of the popular Strength Deployment Inventory, Have a Nice Conflict follows one man's fight to rescue his sinking career. Sales manager John Doyle would consider his career a success--he's his company's top revenue driver, and his take-charge attitude gets the job done. However, when he is passed over for promotion--again--after losing two direct reports, who cite his abrasive style as their reason for leaving, John is forced to reassess how he approaches his relationships. With the help of Mac, an expert in the art of Relationship Awareness Theory, John learns the three stages of conflict, and how he reacts in each. Once John recognizes his own values and trigger points, as well those of other people, he becomes able to better navigate terse situations, express his points in a way that resonates for other people, and even avoid conflict altogether. Equipped with this new understanding of how other people interpret and react to conflict, John soon finds all the relationships in his life--both at work and at home--improving. * Reveals a practical understanding of how conflict really works * Shows how to recognize its initial stages of conflict, how to navigate it better to diffuse a situation, and how to understand the values of the other person to better frame your point for them * Provides guidance for moving beyond conflict to enhance relationships * Includes a five-step framework (anticipate, prevent, identify, manage, and resolve) and tools for locating conflict triggers in ourselves and others Anyone can profit from the tools in this book to understand and take control over conflict.

Leseprobe

Table of Contents

Praise for Have a Nice Conflict

Title Page

Copyright

Acknowledgments

About the Authors

Introduction

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Letter from John

Starr: Industries

John's Notebook

Dr. Mac's Statement of Philosophy: A Philosophical Approach to Learning as Written from the Perspective of Dr. Mac Wilson

Character Assessment Results

The 7 Motivational Value Systems

Main Characters

Conflict Sequence

Summary of Character SDI Results

Supporting Characters

Praise for Have a Nice Conflict

“The authors seek to empower readers to become masters of their own conflict and control their own lives. Have a Nice Conflict is a powerful read for anyone who wants to be able to diffuse life's conflicts more effectively.”

—The Midwest Book Review

“In telling the story of John Doyle, Have a Nice Conflict gives us an everyman who faces the same conflicts—large and small—that each of us experiences every day at home and in the workplace. Enter Dr. Mac, a combination of Marley's ghost, Yoda, and Peter Drucker to guide John—and us—through critical lessons in how to recognize, categorize, and deal with these conflicts. Within the context of an easy-to-read, enjoyable story, the authors provide valuable lessons that everyone who manages or works with people should know.”

—Mark Allen, professor, Graziadio School of Business and Management, Pepperdine University; author, The Corporate University Handbook

“This book gives a positive and easy-to-remember methodology to deal with conflicts, both large and small.”

—Peggy Thurmond, former CFO, McGladrey Capital Markets

“Have a Nice Conflict does a superb job of distilling key personnel concepts into a succinct format that will be of great benefit to managers and employees alike. This narrative volume presents the enduring management principles of psychologist Elias Porter in an eminently sensible and approachable way. The authors use a case example to illuminate fundamental concepts in a manner that is both compelling and readable. A definite addition to the personnel management bookshelf.”

—Morgan T. Sammons, dean, California School of Professional Psychology

“With many of the latest popular business books, I fail to make the link from theory to the practical application of their contents, but because of the storybook format and application to relationships beyond business, the link from theoretical to practical in Have a Nice Conflict was obvious. Once I began seeing myself in the behaviors of one of the main characters, I couldn't put it down. Have a Nice Conflict heightened my understanding of Relationship Awareness Theory and kindled a desire to learn more!”

—Jonathan McGrael, director, training and development, Arbor Pharmaceuticals

“A gem! This book is packed with secrets for resolving conflict and attaining success. Read it now!”

—Mike Song, coauthor, The Hamster Revolution: Manage Your Email Before It Manages You

“Turning conflict into opportunity is a blend of skill and art best not left to learning by trial and costly error. The authors brilliantly take you through John Doyle's personal and professional journey. I found myself putting the insights to use the same day I read the book!”

—Ron Campbell, president, Center for Leadership Studies, Situational Leadership

“The best learning comes from stories, and you will not want to put this story down. The book is well written and full of good wit, with memorable Relationship Awareness Theory throughout.”

—Susan M. Hahn, president, Swan Consulting Group, Inc.

“Have a Nice Conflict is the perfect resource to use in working with student groups, faculty, and staff. The authors weave the theory and its practical application in a wonderful and humorous story. As the student disciplinary officer of the college, I find it also a helpful tool in mediating conflict to a successful outcome for all parties involved.”

—Nikki Schaper, associate dean, student services, MiraCosta College

“This engaging book wonderfully illustrates skills that will help you turn the conflicts of your daily life into seeds of positive change—and it shows you how to do it!”

—Tony LoRe, CEO, founder, Youth Mentoring Connection/Urban Oasis

Copyright © 2011, 2012 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Previously copyright by Personal Strengths Publishing, Inc. All rights reserved.

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Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file with the Library of Congress.

ISBN 978-1-118-20276-0 (cloth); ISBN 978-1-118-21927-0 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-118-21937-9 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-118-21939-3 (ebk)

Acknowledgments

First and foremost, this book would not have been possible without the invaluable and practical theory of relationship awareness developed by Elias H. Porter (1914–1987). Each of us has devoted a significant portion of our careers applying these concepts with people in all walks of life and all types of organizations. We are most grateful to the many people who invited us into their organizations and allowed us to learn with them on difficult interpersonal conflicts.

Tim Scudder

Michael Patterson

Kent Mitchell

About the Authors

Tim Scudder, CPA, is the president of Personal Strengths Publishing, Inc., and has consulted with the organization development, training, and human resources departments of many corporate, government, education, and nonprofit organizations. The author of several experiential training programs, Tim is a founding director of the Center for the Development of the Leaders at the California School of Professional Psychology. He lives in Carlsbad, California, with his wife and three daughters.

Michael Patterson, Ed.D., is the vice president of business development for Personal Strengths USA. Mike began his career as a U.S. Army officer and then spent twenty years in a variety of sales, marketing, and training roles in the pharmaceutical industry. Mike is also a speaker and adjunct professor teaching in the doctoral program at Pepperdine University's Graduate School of Education and Psychology. He lives in Aliso Viejo, California, with his wife and son.

Kent Mitchell is the vice president of communications for Personal Strengths USA and a produced and award-winning writer and playwright. Before joining Personal Strengths, he ran an advertising design agency in the Los Angeles area. Kent has actively worked with the principles and tools of Relationship Awareness for over fifteen years. He lives in Long Beach, California, with his wife and son.

Personal Strengths Publishing, Inc., is based in Carlsbad, California, and serves customers through a global network of interrelated distributors who offer products and services consistent with the ideas in this book in three main categories:

1. Training and development services: direct training for teams and individuals

2. Train the trainer services: Strength Deployment Inventory (SDI) certification, co-facilitation, and curriculum design

3. SDI and related products: self-assessments, workplace learning tools, books, video, and other paper and electronic resources. The SDI is available in over twenty languages.

SDI assessments are available for use by certified facilitators who successfully complete the SDI Certification training. Facilitators may be independent or employed by any type of organization. As such, training and development services that incorporate the SDI are available from many individual consultants and large consulting organizations. The capacity for delivery of these services can also be developed within an organization's training, human resources, organization development, or other similar departments.

Introduction

In the story that follows, we explore the practical ideas of relationship awareness theory. Although this tale is pure fiction, the situations were inspired by our real-world experiences in personal and organizational development—and life in general.

We hope that this book will make accessible to you some of the principles of managing conflict effectively. And when we say effective, we mean in ways that not only resolve the problem but also strengthen the relationships of the people involved. We further hope that you will discover a new understanding of people and learn new techniques that can reduce the amount of conflict you experience in your life.

Much of this story focuses on the workplace. But as you will soon see, the principles of conflict management explored here apply to the entire spectrum of your relationships—personal and professional.

Relationship awareness theory was developed over forty years ago and is being applied in some of the world's largest organizations. Those who are familiar with the theory (and the tools based on it) may enjoy referring to the material that follows the story where we have provided the motivational value systems and conflict sequences of our characters. And if you are not familiar with the theory, don't worry. That's about to change.

Thank you for reading this book. We trust you will find something useful on this journey—something that will help make your next conflict a nice one.

Chapter One

At exactly 3:07 in the afternoon, John Doyle concluded that this was the worst day of his career. He could barely feel his feet hitting the floor as he retreated to his office, which now felt like a hundred grueling miles from Human Resources. As he made his way back through the bustling office building, the HR manager's words repeated in his head until they lost all form and meaning. From her first words, he knew what she was going to say. He could see it in her face as she rattled off the obligatory pleasantries. It felt like an eternity before she got around to the point, and it was all he could do not to walk out in the middle of it. Yet somehow he sat there, on the edge of his seat, praying he was wrong.