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- Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
- Kategorie: Ratgeber
- Sprache: Englisch
35 ways to success, fulfillment, and happiness
How to Have a Great Life starts with you–your strengths and amazing potential and how to develop those. It helps you understand how to tap into your ability to grow, while equipping you with insights, inspiration, and practical tools to deal with whatever life throws your way in order to achieve success and live a happy and fulfilled life.
You already have many of the tools you need to succeed–you just need to know which ones to use and how best to use them. With no-frills, funny, and emotionally intelligent advice, Paul McGee will make you think, make you laugh, and make you take action to live your greatest life possible.
- Tap into your ability to grow
- Find insight and practical tools to deal with whatever life throws your way
- Slow down and live a more balanced life
- Re-gain time and brain space
- Improve the quality of your relationships with others
We are living faster and more frantic lives than ever before—and there’s no time like the present to catch your breath and live your best life possible.
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CONTENTS
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Introduction: Make Sure You Read This
Chapter 1: Don't Take Miracles for Granted
Chapter 2: Make Peace with Paradox
Chapter 3: Remember You're OK
Chapter 4: Follow the Safety Announcements
Chapter 5: Quit Playing the Game You’ll Never Win
Chapter 6: Live Life on Purpose
Chapter 7: Are You Failing Any of the 7 Cs?
Chapter 8: Tattoo This on Your Torso
Chapter 9: Molehills Matter – Massively
Chapter 10: Why Fear Isn't Always Your Enemy
Chapter 11: Don't Leave Your Dreams in the Bin
Chapter 12: Your Past is not Your Prison
Chapter 13: Struggles Can Strengthen You
Chapter 14: Have the Courage to Quit … Sometimes
Chapter 15: Wallowing is Ok … for a While
Chapter 16: Not All Worries are Worthless
Chapter 17: Dethrone the Drama Queen
Chapter 18: Get Things in Perspective
Chapter 19: Never Underestimate the Power of Pause
Chapter 20: Hang Out With Humility
Chapter 21: How to Avoid Burnout and a Break-up
Chapter 22: Two People You Need in Life
Chapter 23: Prune Back the Happy Clappy Tree Sometimes
Chapter 24: Don't Be a TOAT
Chapter 25: Not Everyone Drinks Whisky
Chapter 26: Don't Wait for Somebody's Funeral
Chapter 27: Please Resign from This Job
Chapter 28: A Crucial Formula You Need to Know
Chapter 29: A Fool-proof Way to Avoid Criticism
Chapter 30: You Won't be Mates With Everyone
Chapter 31: Manage Your Mental Diet
Gear Yourself up with Gratitude
Have Kinder Conversations … with Yourself
Chapter 32: Beware the Curse of Comfort
Chapter 33: Flex for Success
Chapter 34: Show Some Leadership
Chapter 35: Take Your Talk for a Walk
Now it's Over to You
With Special Thanks To . . .
About Paul McGee
Other Books by Paul McGee
Want Paul to Speak for Your Organization?
Index
End User License Agreement
List of Illustrations
Figure 21.1
Guide
Cover
Table of Contents
Begin Reading
Chapter 1
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How to Have a Great Life
35 Surprisingly Simple Ways to Success, Fulfilment & Happiness
Paul McGee
This edition first published 2018
© 2018 Paul McGee
Registered office
John Wiley & Sons Ltd, The Atrium, Southern Gate, Chichester, West Sussex, PO19 8SQ, United Kingdom
For details of our global editorial offices, for customer services and for information about how to apply for permission to reuse the copyright material in this book please see our website at www.wiley.com.
The right of the author to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, except as permitted by the UK Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988, without the prior permission of the publisher.
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Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. It is sold on the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering professional services and neither the publisher nor the author shall be liable for damages arising herefrom. If professional advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional should be sought.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: McGee, Paul, 1964- author.
Title: How to have a great life : 35 surprisingly simple ways to success, fulfilment and happiness / by Paul McGee.
Description: First edition. | Southern Gate, Chichester, West Sussex : Wiley, 2018. |
Identifiers: LCCN 2018008700 (print) | ISBN 9780857087751 (pbk.)
Subjects: LCSH: Self-actualization (Psychology) | Success. | Self-realization. | Happiness.
Classification: LCC BF637.S4 .M239 2018 (print) | DDC 158–c23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018008700
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
ISBN 978–0–857–08775–1 (pbk) ISBN 978–0–857–08778–2 (ebk)
ISBN 978–0–857–08777–5 (ebk)
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Cover Design: Wiley
To Matt and Ruffio
with love
Introduction: Make Sure You Read This
The likelihood is that you and I have never met. So, as we embark on what at times will be a deeply personal journey, I wanted to share what's inspired and also shaped and influenced the words you are about to read.
I've been writing books for over 20 years. This is my eleventh and I'm incredibly excited about writing this one, even more so than my previous books. Were I ever to have grandchildren, this would be the first book of mine I'd like them to read. I think it contains some life lessons that I know will be of huge benefit for them to learn.
But I've also struggled in writing this book for one simple reason:
I feel a fraud and a sense of arrogance in doing so.
Why?
Well, I've had to ask myself the question ‘Who am I to write a book called How to Have a Great Life?’ Am I assuming that your life isn't so great, and that I have all the answers? Can I honestly look back on over half a century on this planet and describe my life as great?
To be honest, I cringe at such a thought. Like many people, my life at times has been a rollercoaster. I've certainly enjoyed some highs, but I've also endured some lows.
So, cards on the table. We're embarking on a journey together, and I hope when it ends you feel it's been a worthwhile, enjoyable, and stimulating ride. But we're doing this together. You and me. I'm convinced you’ll discover ideas and insights that will enhance your life, and that will bring increased success, fulfilment, and happiness.
But equally, so will I.
We're all on a learning journey together, and the words I write don't come from a place of smug, superior self-satisfaction, but more from a place of surprise that, despite my occasional screw-ups, stumbles, and struggles over the years, I've learnt quite a few things along the way and had some successes too.
I'm genuinely excited by this book because I believe what you're about to read is hugely important. It's about the most crucial topic you’ll ever explore – your life and how to make the most of it. The reality is, whatever our age, gender, culture, or background, we all have similar needs. We all want to be loved. To belong. To have a sense of purpose. And perhaps without even realizing it, we spend the whole of our lives trying to meet and fulfil those needs.
The question is, how can you increase your chances of fulfilling those needs and avoid the potential pitfalls, blind alleys, and possibly even roads to self-destruction?
That's what this book is about.
My own life experience has been wide and varied. I've worked in a job I detested, trained as a probation officer, nursed terminally ill cancer patients, and lost a high-flying graduate management role with a global brand through ill-health. I've also managed 30 women on the economy beef burger line at a frozen food company. If you've never managed 30 women you haven't lived. If you've never eaten economy beef burgers, you're lucky.
I've been running my own business for over 26 years. During that time, I've worked with teachers, entrepreneurs, salespeople, nurses, politicians, Premier League footballers, business gurus, and chief executives.
And during that time, I've learnt this: if theories are great, trust me, experience has been priceless.
And it's many of these life experiences that I’ll be drawing on in order to help us discover the insights, ideas, and inspiration required to have a great life.
You’ll notice I use stories a lot. Stories stick, and their appeal spans all ages and cultures. I’ll be sharing my struggles as well as my successes. My brand of motivation is Mancunian in nature (I was born in South Manchester), rather than Californian. Less ra ra, more reality.
I'm also conscious that, despite many people's desire to develop and improve their lives, they increasingly seem to have less and less time to do so. I'm a huge fan of personal development books, but even I feel somewhat daunted at the prospect of wading through hundreds of pages of small typeface in search of my latest insight or nugget of inspiration.
That's why I've written this book the way I have. It's snack-sized inspiration if you like, but there's no sell-by date. Start wherever you want to start. Read in whatever order you want to. Each chapter is self-contained, but I recognize some will have more relevance to you than others. Some may even seem to contradict others. That's intentional. I want to give you a range of insights, not some black and white, step-by-step guide to success. I deliberately want to offer contrasting perspectives, as I think it's both superficial and unhelpful to take a ‘one size fits all’ approach to life. So, no single chapter tells the whole story, but each will bring a perspective for you to ponder. My advice is not to race through the book. Take your time. Allow some of the ideas and insights to digest. Share what you read with others. Doing so not only helps to cement what you've read but could also stimulate further thoughts and actions.
Some of what you’ll read you’ll have come across before. The content will be familiar, but how I've packaged it may not be. I make no apologies for reminding you of stuff you already know. In this distraction-filled world of constant communication in all its forms, we need to be reminded of truths and insights that can easily get lost and forgotten in the constant noise of life.
There will be chapters where I explore territory which is less familiar to you. At points I’ll have a perspective which perhaps seems counterintuitive or contradicts something you've come across previously. Again, I make no apologies. This book is not my attempt to simply re-hash or echo other people's ideas, but to provide some fresh food for thought, to provoke you to think more and examine familiar aspects of your life in a less familiar way. Where I can, I’ll aim to inject some humour into proceedings. Life can be serious, but there's a danger we can take ourselves a little too seriously at times.
My hope is that not only will you feel better equipped to have a great life, but you’ll be able to share what you've learnt to help others do the same. I think we can all play a part in helping each other live more successful, fulfilled, and happier lives.
I'd love your feedback too, so feel free to tweet @TheSumoGuy (use #greatlife) or email [email protected] – I promise I’ll reply.
Enjoy the ride.
Paul McGee
Chapter 1Don't Take Miracles for Granted
OK, let me start with three quick questions. When you get dressed, which shoe do you put on first, your left or your right? Secondly, when you go up a flight of stairs, which leg goes up first, your left or your right one? Finally, when you chew your food, which side of your mouth do you mostly tend to use, your left or your right?
If you're like most people you had to stop and think before giving your answer. In fact, some people are still not one hundred percent certain even when they've answered. And yet all three questions are related to things we do almost every day (except perhaps for those shoe-hating, bungalow-dwelling people on a liquid diet). In fact, we've probably done each activity thousands of times during our lives.
And that's my point.
You see, we do some things so often we don't even think about them anymore. We simply operate on autopilot.
Here's something else I'd now like you to do. Just read the following:
Richard's nickname was dig bick.
You that read wrong.
You read that wrong too.
Did it catch you out? Crazy, eh?
And the reason?
It's simply this – our brains’ persistent and hardwired preoccupation for taking shortcuts. You see, our brains love to conserve energy, and as our brain cells use almost twice as much energy as any other cell in the body, the brain has developed ways to minimize effort.
One way to do so is by recognizing patterns. If everything the brain encounters is familiar – the same office, the same route to work, the same friends – or it carries out repeated routines – getting dressed, climbing stairs, or chewing food – it hums along quite happily on autopilot. The daily repetition of our lives means the brain can relax; there's no danger to be wary of, and nothing out of the ordinary going on. The brain's thinking ‘Relax, I've seen this all before.’ As a result, it doesn't concentrate and consciously register all the information.
Now that can be a good thing. You don't want to spend ages tiring yourself out deciding which order to get dressed in. Neither do you want to do the same when climbing stairs or chewing food. The same goes for when you're driving – you can just do it on autopilot, relax, and let your mind wander.
But that's the problem.
If we're not careful we can switch off too often. It's easy to do – to repeat over and over again regular routines, routes, and habits. But when we do, it's like living life on fast-forward.
Great Life Insight
It's easy to take for granted the richness and variety that life has to offer.
You see, to a young child everything is new, hence their sense of awe when they see animals on a farm and planes in the sky. But as these things become increasingly familiar, it's easy to take their existence for granted and to almost stop noticing them (unless, of course, you're a farmer or a plane spotter).
I'm fascinated and challenged by these words from Einstein:
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
You know what I've realized? It's important to notice what's under your nose. To actually take time to stop, pause, and reflect. Be aware of things. Appreciate that instant running water, that hot shower, and those trees that line the street where you live.
Great Life Tip
When you're next eating, why don't you take a moment to savour the flavour?
So, rather than focusing on what you will eat next, take a moment to really enjoy what you're eating now. This is something I've started to do more. I'm taking time to appreciate the extraordinary when experiencing the ordinary. And I'm a little weird when I do so. The reason?
Well, I've started to close my eyes when I'm eating my food.
Now I don't do this throughout the whole meal obviously – that could be quite awkward, fishing around my plate with my knife and fork, searching out my next mouthful to eat. It would also be off-putting for the people I was eating with! But I do now take a couple of mouthfuls and take time to notice what I'm eating and become aware of the tastes and textures when I do so.
Now maybe we would all do that if we were in some expensive restaurant and paid a fortune for the meal. But I'm suggesting we do this on a daily basis, whatever we're eating. Trust me, cornflakes have never tasted so good.
OK, that's one example, but behind the quirky illustration there's a serious point.
Great Life Insight
It's so easy to live with the attitude ‘so what's next?’ rather than simply enjoying ‘what's now’.
Life, even with all its challenges, is still an amazing experience. But I'm left wondering, perhaps due to overexposure, if we've become immune to the awe-inspiring things that surround us.
Are we taking life, people, and places for granted?
The reality is, we seek out new experiences to impress us and fail to notice the miracles around us.
I love this quote from the Jewish philosopher and theologian Abraham Heschel:
Our goal should be to live life in radical amazement ... Get up in the morning and look at the world in a way that takes nothing for granted. Everything is phenomenal; everything is incredible; never treat life casually. To be spiritual is to be amazed.
You might not be aware of it, but most of us have encountered the Seven Wonders of the World. Really, we have.
Those Seven Wonders are as follows:
To see. To hear. To touch.
To taste. To feel. To laugh.
To love.
Why not take a moment to appreciate the great life you already have? We're beneficiaries of hundreds and hundreds of years of human development in relation to education, technology, health care, sanitation, entertainment, architecture, medical advancements, travel. The list is endless.
Take a moment to look around you and notice nature. Stop and stare. Get off fast-forward. We're surrounded by awe-inspiring stuff. Please don't take it all for granted.
Great Life Insight
Life is not an advert. It's the main show. Soak it in. Savour it.
And remember, if you did wake up feeling tired and miserable, you woke up. So, dust yourself down and start experiencing those Seven Wonders. And when you do so, don't take those daily miracles for granted.
Chapter 2Make Peace with Paradox
Have you ever wished you were a small child again? Life was much simpler then wasn't it? I mean just think about a toddler's typical day for a moment:
Eat. Sleep. Poo. Play. Sorted.
But as we get older, life becomes increasingly complicated. Less black and white – a lot more grey. And in my own journey I've come to the conclusion that the more I know, the more I realize there's so much I don't know. As I get older I feel less confident about things I felt certain about previously.
I've struggled with that at times, as perhaps, like a lot of people, I prefer a degree of predictability over ambiguity.
When I started out as a professional speaker I was confused by the conflicting advice I received from people I respected, people who seemed to have opposite approaches to achieving their success. And my reading around human behaviour left me with a wide range of often contradictory approaches necessary to succeed in life.
Finding the ‘right answer’ has been a struggle, but my mate and mentor Paul once shared with me a quote from the American writer F. Scott Fitzgerald that's brought clarity to my confusion and helped me make peace with contradictions. Fitzgerald wrote:
The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.
That's helped me a lot on my journey. It's helped me relax rather than wrestle with some issues. I've learnt to be more content with contradictions and to understand there are many different ways to achieve a great life. I now recognize that paradox pervades all aspects of life, sometimes more than we might appreciate at first. Let's take a moment to consider just how true that is.
As people, we're amazing and we can also be awful. We can be magnificent but also mediocre. We're both a masterpiece and a work in progress. We're capable of deep acts of compassion and appalling acts of cruelty. We're mature in one aspect of life and childish in another.
When we're young we like to look older, and then when we're old we want to look younger.
We're the best parents on the planet one day and the lousiest the next. As people, we can be quite simple to understand, and yet seemingly too complex to fully comprehend.
We are irrelevant, micro-sized specks of insignificance existing briefly in a vast universe. We're also people who are significant, whose lives matter. Our action or inaction makes a difference to the future of this planet, and to the people around us.
We achieve success by saying ‘yes’ to certain things, and yet it can also come from saying ‘no’ to other things. Success comes from a relentless and unwavering pursuit of your dream, and it comes from knowing when to quit and to try something else.
In life we're encouraged to develop our awareness and to notice things, and yet we're also warned against being distracted. We love the new and disregard the old. Then we pay thousands for what's old and pennies for what's new.
We develop technology to free up our time and make life easier, then become slaves to it and never switch off. We plan our holidays but not our lives. We're forever photographing or filming people, meals, and places, but not always taking time to simply appreciate the moment.
