I know God´s Plan is Perfect E-Book

Johannes Holmer

• Herausgeber: Books on Demand
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 332

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2023

Beschreibung

I know God´s Plan is Perfect - Dear Lord, why? Lydia - a girl full of love for life, the people she met and Jesus ... How could God allow a mere 28 year old to die after battling a difficult illness? She had an incredible willpower during her life and even in sickness. Even though she loved her childhood home so incredibly much, she didn't only spent a year in Aidlingen and became a pediatric nurse in Stuttgart, but followed God's calling to the Torchbearers in Sweden and later on to a children's home in El Salvador. There she was tormented by pain in her pelvis. A tumor! A long road of suffering began. But in her joy and deep grounded faith up until death she was and still is a big role model to many people to this day. Lydia Holmer has affected many people and inspired many by her faith. She died when she was only 28 years old after a long battle against cancer. Her parents wrote her story down. This book also contains many excerpts from Lydia's diaries.

Leseprobe

Content

Foreword

Prologue

Puschel´s Childhood

A Completely Different Sister

Sweden

Departure to El Salvador

A Different World

Back in Germany

A Difficult Path is Coming

Puschel Writes Again

Rehabilitation That is None

America, Here I Come

Joy

Now That As Well – Meningitis

Farewell

What I Learned from You

Farewell Service

Epilogue by ”Opa Holmer”

About the Authors

Foreword for the English Edition

It has been more than 10 years ago now since we had to say goodbye to Lydia, who was known by many only as Puschel. Unfortunately, it took a while until we could publish an English translation of her book.

We have received much encouragement and gratitude over the years for publishing the German book. Often this was coupled with a report about new-found faith or a closer relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ. That was the main purpose of the German edition and is our hope for this edition as well. We were asked over and over again about an English edition of “I Know God’s Plan is Perfect“, especially by friends from Puschel’s times in Holsbybrunn and San Salvador.

We hope for this book to be a blessing and give many young people new impulses to grow closer in their relationship with Jesus and communicate more intensely with Him.

We are always happy to hear about your personal experiences or encounters with Lydia. The bilingual internet homepage (www.puschel.holmer.info) still exists today. You will be able to find an e-mail address for personal messages if you wish.

We would like to thank all those who have made the English edition possible. Especially Maria Päßler, as well as Professor Schreiber (California) for final edits. We particularly thank the editors, Uta Müller and Michael Lutz, for preparing the publication of the English edition. Last, but not least, the final editing by Donna Schoon, Holsbybrunn, Sweden!

May God place His blessing on everything.

Eva-Maria and Johannes Holmer, December 2022

Foreword

What Makes a Person Great?

Iask myself this question often when I report on the great people of our time. Presidents, chancellors, ministers, or other such officers and dignitaries: they are found playing their part on the world stage, where at the beginning of the first act the applause is often deafening, but by the end, they are booed off the stage. They remain only as an historical side note in the margin of the memory of the general populace, depending on how much good or evil they caused and whether or not they made the headlines. Some may object and say the question of greatness is not the question to ask; instead, the balance of life is not so much about being historically great but much more about one’s personal happiness.

According to this type of thinking, it is not the one who receives the most praise who wins, but the one who has the most toys, the one who has the most fun for the longest amount of time. In both questions of greatness and happiness, Lydia did not come out on top of the list of the historically famous. Compared to the popular standards of success, she was a little light that faded too quickly and left this world unnoticed.

Oh, but while she lived, she shone brightly! And how! She radiated so much that the hearts of those who knew her, mine included, still now and probably always will warm at the thought of her. She was seen as a superstar, a super nova, an exception.

Her life’s glow neither reflected a life of comfort nor did it come from within, tied to her fleeting heartbeat. Instead, it came from God, who filled her life to the fullest. Because of this, she was right when she wrote a few years before the devastating cancer diagnosis, “I am very excited to see what God does with my life. I often notice that God does things we could never have imagined. Such a life is so exciting!”

In retrospect, just as easily as it came to me to purposely classify Lydia’s life in God’s plan of healing, it was equally as hard to accept her unspeakable suffering that led to her death. I questioned, “Jesus, was that really necessary? How could you sit back and watch, while one of your most loyal disciples endured such excruciating pain as an aggressive growth devoured her body?” In the past, I have preached that companionship with Jesus can also mean we will suffer with Him, but in this specific case, this truth seemed simply too brutal and unfair.

Lydia shone brightly

The answer to the purpose of Lydia’s battle with her health is one I will only receive once I am in heaven. What I do know is this. The cancer did not conquer her, but instead transformed her into an exquisite beauty. I have never – and I write this totally without journalistic exaggeration – known a person who embodied the Christ-like virtues of faith, hope, and love better than Lydia, in spite of and because of her difficult fate.

When I visited her in Bülow, a great strength emanated from her room, not unlike that which one might expect from a chancellor’s office. After every visit, I realized I was the one who had received a gift.

The depth of her faith, the confidence and friendliness that shone forth from Lydia, whether on crutches, in the wheelchair, or in the hospital bed, always had an effect on me. I am amazed how a creature whose life slowly drained from her body could appear so energetic, so thankful, so gracious.

It was not an accident that she named her little dog “Grace,” for she stubbornly trusted God’s grace and mercy, and with her life’s example shamed many healthy Christians whose affluence and ease of life have washed away the substance of their faith.

She understood that God’s grace and mercy aren’t seen in the midst of circumstances of great health and worldly prosperity, but in the irreversible deliverance from earthly limitations and human suffering.

Twice I experienced a worship service with Lydia in her home church: first at Easter and then nine months later at her funeral. It comforts me to know that even though it is true she died, she isn’t really dead. I know I will again see her blonde, curly head and her fiery, yet cheerful, eyes before this century is over, when it is my time to die.

She is now doing splendidly

Those inquiring as to whether Lydia was one of the great people of our time, or if her life was full of happiness, are essentially asking the wrong questions. Earthly happiness lasts but for a moment, and we humans don’t have the proper means to measure true greatness. Instead, the simple fact is that Lydia led a full life, and now, being in heaven, her joy has been made complete! She finished her biologically restricted and three-dimensionally limited existence with great endurance.

She brought a light into the world that makes all spotlights pale in comparison.

Thank you, Lydia – and thank you, Jesus.

Markus Spieker

One day I will die like everyone else. But I know for certain that I will experience a more beautiful world. Jesus has embedded this hope within me.

Lydia Holmer, before her death

Prologue

Farewell to Puschel

February 12, 2012. Wintry light pours through the church windows onto the 350 people solemnly dressed for the ceremony. They sit closely packed in the pews in the small village church of Bülow, which lies along Malchiner Lake. Because there aren’t enough chairs, many have to stand at the back of the church. It doesn’t bother them, however, and instead emphasizes the special nature of this service. In the middle of the church, a camera is set up on a tripod so this worship service can be watched live on the internet all around the world, enabling another 300 people to be present.

Some have come from our village and many others from our distant church congregation. Even more have come from various parts of Europe: from Sweden, Holland, and Bodenseehof, the Torchbearer Bible School in southern Germany. All have come because of Lydia, who never liked to stand in the spotlight. Most of the guests only knew her by the name of Puschel, and they knew she was only 28 years old when she died. At this farewell party, the question in the room, whether spoken or unspoken is, “God, why?” This question remains unanswered in the minds of those who loved her dearly.

Farewell to Puschel

Some bow their heads. Others stare at the coffin lost in thought. A few gaze at the picture of Puschel projected on the wall. In the picture, Puschel is looking happily in the distance as if she were looking God directly in the eyes, as if the two of them have something important to talk about.

Among those grieving are counts, barons, and journalists. Many of them accompanied Puschel over a period of several years both in friendship and in prayer. And, of course, Lydia’s distant relatives of the big Holmer-clan are also in attendance.

As the pastor from Bülow, I greet the funeral guests. “We are not gathered here to put Lydia, our daughter, on a pedestal, but instead we are here because we want to praise God and thank Him for our Lydia.” Lydia’s Uncle Reinhard, from Elbingerode, talks about Jesus the Good Shepherd. “No one can snatch the sheep from the Father’s hand. God gives us eternal life.”

Lydia was rich; she didn’t have much money, but God gave her everything she needed. She walked with Him as she endured the horrible disease that eventually took her life, and yet even as it affected her physical well-being, it never was able to touch her courage and her love for God and for others. This was evident because Puschel had friends all over the world, some of whom she knew simply because they belonged to the family of her Heavenly Father.

After the worship service, many come to the burial at the cemetery in Serrahn, 30 kilometers away. This is where Lydia’s grandmother, who went before her into eternity, was buried in 1995. At that time, 12-year-old Lydia sat with us beside her Oma’s deathbed.

After the interment, we gather together for coffee and cake as well as a time of praise and thanksgiving. Many tell stories of their experiences with Puschel. An old woman from our village describes how she always enjoyed it when Puschel came by to visit on her four-wheeler. Tabea, one of Puschel’s cousins, says, “I knew Puschel before she became so wise. She was always ready to have fun ….” Some of her other cousins immediately agree. Friends from the Torchbearers and even some of the patients Puschel knew from her various stays in the hospital also share. At the end of this time, Puschel’s foster sister expresses herself. She clears her throat – she’s not used to speaking in front of so many people. “Puschel impressed me. For me, no one lived out their faith, love, and hope like Puschel. She always told me, ‘I know that God’s plan is perfect.’”

Let Us fix our Eyes on Jesus

We are learning from our child, Puschel

Over a year has already passed since the funeral. After her 5-year battle with cancer, Lydia is finally home. Writing this book is very painful and yet at the same time very wonderful. While we pore through the journals Puschel wrote, we are continually surprised. We are learning about our daughter! For example, we discovered that from the very beginning of her illness, Puschel talked it over with God and discussed with Him what her future would hold. We learned that Puschel saw a common thread of God’s presence and direction in her life. God lovingly wove in special experiences to prepare her for her final five years here on earth. She saw her time both in Sweden and El Salvador as pivotal in building a foundation for the last chapter of her life. She knew His hand was upon her, and she welcomed His loving presence. Puschel spoke to many young people in Germany, Sweden, and America, sharing with them how God was working. She also willingly shared with her friends in one of her blogs what God was revealing to her:

God does wonders. And this includes more than Him just keeping me here on this planet. One day I will die, like each one of us. And I am confident that I will enter a world more beautiful than I can ever imagine.

I will experience a much more beautiful world

Puschel was, at her core, a grateful person. All who knew her saw this time and time again. God opened her eyes to a simple truth that is easily overlooked: the importance of thankfulness. She realized God gives us many opportunities and reasons in our day-to-day lives to thank Him. Where we live, what family we were born into, and which people we meet along the way are all minor details. We cannot change the influences of our past, whether positive or negative, or from our family or from our friends, but we do have a choice in how they mold us in the future. This is why gratitude was so important to her and why it became an integral part of her life.

“I notice the everyday details of life and get excited over the little things,” she said in a radio interview eight months before her death. “I always knew it on an intellectual level, but now I have experienced what really is important in life. The most important thing is to keep my eyes fixed on my Heavenly Father. I noticed that the times I was down and out, and thought, ‘Jesus, I can’t do this anymore,’ were times when I was concentrating on things other than Him. When I put my focus back on my Father, I was changed, and joy returned to my heart.”1 For this reason, the words on her gravestone read, “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith.”2

We are fortunate to have a glimpse into Puschel’s heart through her interviews, her journals, and her blog. Before Puschel set off for El Salvador in 2006, we created a website – www.puschel.holmer.info – so that she could regularly inform her friends about her work in Central America. She used this blog to share fun stories and keep everyone updated on how things were going in El Salvador. Later, this was also the best means of communication for both of us to keep in contact with her friends concerning the state of her health. At the same time, she continued to write in her journals her personal conversations with God. Not only did we borrow from these various communicative forms, but we also asked some of her friends to share from their experiences with Puschel. We wish more of her friends could have told their stories and we could have included more pictures, but we simply ran out of room. Puschel was a normal human being like you and me. Yet her normal included a deep passion for both God and people. This will become apparent as you read the following pages of her journals and letters. She certainly didn’t write them for publication purposes, but we are certain she would be pleased with our sharing some excerpts with you.

1 Taken from an interview with ERF Medien, broadcast on 05-11-2011 from the program “Colando.”

2 Hebrews 12:2

Puschel’s Childhood

1982. We found ourselves in East Germany in the deepest time of the German Democratic Republic’s (GDR) regime. So much was different then compared to what we consider normal today. I had just completed my first theological exam; I was studying to be a pastor. My time working as a vicar in the Mecklenburg State Church was almost over when I was completely surprised by being drafted into the military. It seemed more like a demonstration of GDR-power than a necessity. It should give all people a sense of not being able to count on anything or anyone. In the middle of my second theological exam, I had to quickly finish the written homework and shorten my term paper, because I was unexpectedly assigned to the Civil Service3 division. I have to admit I was a bit angry with God at this point. What was all this about?

Baby Lydia with floppy ears (1983)

In May of 1983, my wife Eva-Maria was nearing the end of her pregnancy. Of course, I really wanted to be there for the birth, as I had been with our first child, Titus, but I was stationed more than 100 kilometers away, so it looked like it would be rather difficult to get there in time. However, I was determined to make it work. As the due date came closer, I waited expectantly for the news from the clinic in Wriezen saying that my wife was in labor with our second child, but I heard nothing. Days passed. The due date came and went. Then I got a call from home asking why I hadn’t come for the birth. A little girl was born, our little baby Lydia. I learned that Eva-Maria had indeed sent me a message by telegram: “In labor!” However, it had not been passed on to me by my superiors. If I had received the message, I would have had a 3-day leave for the birth. The excitement over the birth of our healthy baby girl was overshadowed by my anger towards the carelessness of the GDR system. Infuriated, I wrote a letter of complaint to the General Secretary of the Socialist Unity Party of the GDR, Erich Honecker,4 concerning the manner in which this was handled. Shortly thereafter, I received a response: I was given a whole week of leave! It was obvious God saw the injustice and straightened things out for my benefit. Now I was able to enjoy the little one and her mother at home much longer than previously planned.

Muschel-Puschel

After being stationed for less than a year in Jabel, near the towns of Waren and Müritz, my time with the Civil Service was over. It was then that we moved to Bülow, on Lake Malchiner, to start my first congregation. The parish was located on a beautiful piece of land. The grounds included a picturesque view of the lake hemmed in by the surrounding wilderness of the northern shore. The expansive land of the church grounds looked untouched by human hands; so much of it remained unadulterated.

She developed a mind of her own

It was here in this small village of Bülow, population 70, that Lydia grew up. She was an adorable little girl, and her pleasant personality was all a mother and father could wish for. At first glance, her fair blonde curls transformed her into a little ray of sunshine. Her way of life was cheery, sunny, and carefree.

It´s the best with Mama

Our dear Lydia developed a mind of her own very quickly and demonstrated her own unique style. Because of this, people would joke at times about Lydia possibly being switched at birth. However, we knew without a doubt that Puschel was ours, genes and all, and that she belonged in the “Holmer-Bülow Clan.”

In the following years, two more siblings were born, Esther and Silas. Lydia wasn’t fully aware that another little sister came right before Silas, but was stillborn. It didn’t seem to upset her too much that Mama had had a really big belly for a long time, but came home from the hospital without another sibling.5

We did not dramatically show our sadness and loss to our children, and because they often bounce back from the harsh realities of life more quickly than adults, Puschel soon returned to the normal daily routine. Most of her time was spent with her older brother, Titus; both of them created their own games and roamed about all over the countryside together. Lydia could also quietly occupy herself for hours, whether in her room or outdoors. She was always busy “herum-muscheln.”6 One day when she was about five years old, some people came for a visit. Suddenly someone said, “And this is our Muschel-Puschel.” This nickname, soon to be shortened to just “Puschel,” became so accepted that many subsequent friends and acquaintances didn’t even know her real name. Puschel loved to follow me everywhere when I’d work in the yard, and she always helped with whatever I was doing.

We had about 20 sheep at the time that were helpful “lawnmowers,” since we had three hectares of land to take care of. Moreover, their wool was a valuable addition to our meager monthly income, as pastors in the GDR did not make much. To Puschel’s great delight we had ducks swimming in the pond, bunnies cuddling in their hutch, and cats prowling through the weeds or dozing in the sun. “Muschel-Puschel” invented all sorts of games to play with her animals and looked after the duck family. Sometimes she tried to train a little lamb or feed another with a bottle. One such lamb was named Fridolin. His mother died right after he was born, so Puschel begged to bottle-feed him. And feed him she did! Consequently, he followed her everywhere, even when she went shopping. Sometimes we found him in her room as she worked on her homework – they were inseparable.

With Papa outside (1987)

One day Puschel came outside with me to “help” slaughter a duck. It was not abnormal for her to see an animal killed in order to have a delicious roast; death was just a part of life. She stayed by my side as I plucked feathers and finally pulled all the innards out. Little Puschel watched every step very closely and suddenly said, “Papa, may I?” So I watched, amused, as her short right arm disappeared into the duck – all the way up to her shoulder! It was no problem at all for Puschel to accomplish this task. This humorous scene is forever etched in my memory.

Puschel grew up in this idyllic village, similar to the “Noisy Village” that Astrid Lindgren often described in her books. Like in the stories, childish pranks often occurred. In the evenings, at the end of their daily adventures, the siblings discussed whether Mama and Papa needed to be told of their experiences. Puschel was often of the opinion that parents really didn’t need to know everything. She often talked her older brother, Titus, whom she admired and looked up to, into various kinds of mischief. She herself had most of the fun ideas, but usually didn’t have the strength to carry them out. One day, when Puschel was about seven, the village’s recycled paper bin was set on fire. It burned for days. Rumor had it that it was the pastor’s kids who were to blame. “Tante Holz,”7 manager of the little grocery store, “Konsum”, (a popular store during the GDR era), firmly protested, opposing anyone who was of that opinion. She sharply told them, “I will put my hand in fire to prove the innocence of these children – it was not them.” Other children perhaps, but Puschel and Titus? Never! Years later, Puschel confessed that it really had been her brother who set that fire, initiated by herself. Only by this confession could “Tante Holz” believe that. Of course Puschel hadn’t wanted it to burn so long, but it wasn’t that big of a deal, at least not in Puschel’s eyes. To her, life was always beautiful – one shouldn’t stress over such silly little things ….

In addition to her mischievousness, Puschel was a true artist. Starting at a young age, she enjoyed drawing and painting pictures on cards and letters for friends and relatives. This talent certainly did not come from her father but instead her mother, who is the artist of the family.

The Worst Times are Over

Puschel, along with her brother, Titus, experienced the harsh reality of the socialist GDR only for a short time. In September, 1989, Puschel started school.

Compared to brother Titus, her encounter with true socialism was not as severe. The previous year on his first day of school, Titus was separated from his class and made to stand alone on the playground while his peers were addressed as “the smarter ones” and were congratulated as they came forward, one by one, to receive their pioneer scarves.8

With big brother, Titus, and little sister, Esther (1987)

The strategy of the socialistic educational system was to make sure those of us “stick-in-the-muds” really knew and deeply felt that we were “standing on the wrong side.” Everyone needed to see how very alone one was when one refused to move with the times. Thankfully, Titus’s little sister, Puschel, had a very different first day of school. Change was in the air and we could feel it coming. A few weeks later, everything was drastically different.9

Now in school, Puschel proudly walked the three kilometers with her big brother to the neighboring village where their school was located. When the weather was good, they would ride their bikes down the narrow “KAP Street”10 from Bülow to Schorssow. Sometimes they took the bus to and from school. However, when they needed to be at school earlier than the bus schedule allowed, they went by foot along the country roads. Often tractors driving by would pick them up and give them a ride. Once in a while Papa simply forgot to pick them up from school, but they were forgiving and knew he was always so busy.

My Papa – the Mayor

Puschel’s grandpa featured in the newspaper

In 1992, I was voted into the position of mayor for several of the neighboring villages, because there were very few candidates who didn’t have a past connection with the GDR regime.11 It was the first free election since the GDR fell. “My Papa is the mayor,” declared Puschel proudly to whomever, whether they wanted to know or not. The times were changing, even for the pastor’s kids.

In the days following my election, Puschel’s grandfather made the headlines in well-known newspapers and magazines because he had opened his home for Erich Honecker’s asylum.12 In the eyes of the grandchildren, this was another reason to proudly look up to their grandfather . Of course, Grandpa, who was always loving and merciful to all, was simply Grandpa to them. In their eyes this wasn’t out of the ordinary. Why shouldn’t he help a man in need? They really didn’t understand who Honecker was.

In the extended Holmer family, our children were four of over fifty grandchildren. Lydia saw this as a gift from God. Titus was the oldest boy of the Holmer clan’s cousins, and Puschel was the first of all the girl cousins. I personally have nine siblings, and Eva-Maria has four. Some of them have up to eight of their own children, so every family reunion was a large, but fun, affair. The older the cousins grew, the more colorful was our time together.

The animals have to be cared for in the winter. The Holmer family baling hay

Starting in 1999, Grandpa Holmer, whom Puschel and all the grandchildren admired and loved, planned an annual “Vacation with the Grandkids.” In the beginning, everyone came to Bülow each year, but when Puschel got sick, we started meeting in Serrahn, where Grandpa Holmer lived. All the grandchildren gathered together to learn about their grandpa’s decades-old love for Jesus, and each one became a child of God.

Unfortunately, Puschel couldn’t always be a part of the week-long “Vacation with the Grandkids.” However, when she was available, she loved to see as many cousins as possible. It brought her joy to hear about Grandpa’s beliefs and his wisdom in life, and during this time she always got to know her Heavenly Father better. Years later, when Puschel was so sick, even though she didn’t like to speak in front of large audiences, she accepted Grandpa’s request to share about her life with Jesus.

“Vacation with the Grandkids,” (2005) – Grandpa Holmer loves to have all his loved ones with him

Ronja the Robber’s Daughter

Puschel’s cousins knew she wasn’t an angel, but that she loved to play pranks. However, they still respected her and would attentively listen to her. Her cousins, Reinhild, Almuth, and Magdalena wrote: “Puschel was like Ronja the Robber’s Daughter.13 She was free, held her own when rough-housing with her brothers and male cousins, drove a Trabbi14, and constantly made fun of us clueless `Big City Kids.´ (After all, we came from a town of 7,000 residents!). To us she was also like Pippi Longstocking15 – strong, independent, the animals’ best friend, and always filled with some sort of nonsense. We were like Pippi’s friends, Tommy and Annika. She showed us how to break rules (of course without getting caught), to bale hay, and to ride a horse or a donkey – or see how interesting a crypt can be. Her ability to break an apple in two with one hand remained her secret, even though she tried to explain it many times. Not even all boys can do that ….”

A Choice for Life

Puschel as a schoolgirl (1991)

For Puschel, the church congregation was a part of her home. At the time she moved with us to Bülow, there was no congregation. In 1984 we found everything, the church building and the people’s spirits, in ruins. Fifteen years prior was the last time they had a pastor, and the church board had long since dispersed. In the summer one of the four churches would hold a couple of services, but that was it. So when we arrived, everything had to be started anew and be rebuilt. Puschel, along with her siblings, was a part of this reconstruction. They brought their friends and classmates to church, which was how it all started. For Puschel, spiritually, her personal beliefs began to quietly grow. She never talked a lot about giving her life to Jesus at the age of nine. However, later in an interview she shared:

“When I was nine years old, I lay in my bed and gave my life to Jesus. I told Him, ‘I have heard so much about You and it seems that You are pretty important. Because of this I want to know that my life belongs to You.’ Over the years my request grew to be that I would live for Him one hundred percent. Along with this commitment, I also promised Him yet another thing: He could do whatever He wanted with my life …. He is doing just that.” In her journal she wrote:

One can trust God! He directs and leads me often in wondrous and amazing ways! As a nine-year-old girl, I lay in my bed and trusted God. It is true that I am slowly realizing that one can never stop learning from God.

At the village school, Lydia was more like a gray mouse,16 but afternoons at home she skipped happily through the yard, thought up her own games, painted and drew masterpieces, explored the peaceful village, and meandered through the meadows. After Reunification,17 a family from West Germany relocated to our village, and Puschel began to learn about horses - not only how to ride, but also how to care for them. She often rode with these newly-found friends - Giesela and her two daughters, Konstanze and Lucia, who eventually became her best friends in the village. The long rides, the childish pranks, and the peaceful village setting really stabilized Puschel and gave her a great internal balance.

A strong love for horses began to grow in Puschel. While finishing high school, she completed an internship at a large horse-breeding ranch. After graduation, she was very sure of one thing: she wanted to work with animals. She applied for several positions that involved the care of horses, and then waited and hoped. But she only received letters of rejection. Suddenly, she was hit with the question, “What now?”

Aidlingen

Puschel during her time in Aidlingen

When Puschel’s dream of working with horses and becoming a qualified horse groomer didn’t work out, her grandfather approached her and asked: “What do you think about Aidlingen?” Aidlingen is located in southern Germany and is a home of deaconess “Sisters”. One of their endeavors is helping young women find their professional calling. It is very important to Puschel’s grandpa that his grandchildren “study something decent.” He would love to see his eldest granddaughter well-trained and starting her own family. Making money and having a career, though good, aren’t crucial. For him, the most important service to society and to children is the upbringing and education of children as well as a loving and supporting family. Going to college or university, from Grandpa’s point of view, isn’t bad. But often times young women then want to have a career - why else would they get a college degree?18 In Grandpa's opinion, mothers who pursue a career don’t make children a priority.

But it is not only Puschel’s grandfather who suggests Aidlingen. We, as her parents, see the benefits of Aidlingen as well. It probably would be very beneficial for our 16-year-old country girl to meet a few young Christian people her own age. Plus the shelter of the deaconess “Mutterhaus” would be very helpful for her growth and independence. Of course, Puschel can choose herself what she would like to do with her life. Housekeeping does not really interest her. Her sense of tidiness is, politely put, not particularly strong. She would have to give up nature, her freedom, and her animals for a while. Nevertheless, everyone encourages her to go to Aidlingen. Besides, Tabsi, a good friend of hers from a neighboring church, wants to go with her. Puschel can only imagine herself gone for one year, doing an internship in housekeeping.

We cannot really tell how homesick she is during that year and how badly she must struggle to continue with the internship. The deaconesses are even less likely to understand how much the life-loving country girl from Bülow, who wanted to become a horse groomer, has to adjust to her new life in Aidlingen. But she wrestles her way through it and writes later about that time:

Puschel makes the best of everything

God led me to Aidlingen through my grandpa in 1999. That’s where I really learned how to interact with other Christians. I am becoming independent. God gave me inner peace in all decisions. God also gave me loving parents who helped me wrestle through this time. I still see myself on the train, still in Mecklenburg, already overcome with homesickness. I thought about how wonderful it is to be at home here. This verse came to my mind then: “Do not be anxious about anything, but tell God what You need.”19 And that is what I did, because there are thousands of people in far worse positions than myself.

Puschel makes the best of everything. That means she accepts things as they are and at the same time rejoices over what she has, as much as possible. So, even though she respects the strict rules of the deaconess “Mutterhaus”20, she also enjoys her own freedom. Her friend, Tabsi, from Mecklenburg writes:

“One of our chores was to sing in the youth choir. During rehearsals we always tried to sit next to each other. You cannot really say that Puschel paid much attention…. During `super boring´ explanations, which were inevitable and part of the rehearsals, she would just turn the music sheets and start drawing portraits of the two choir sisters, Annette and Christel. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I watched her draw portraits or pictures like that. She could perfectly capture features and traits with simple pencil strokes. I had become friends with the two sisters quickly and showed them Puschel’s portraits after choir. They were so amazed by these drawings that Puschel was appointed to draw big backdrops for children’s musicals.”

Two girls from Mecklenburg in southern Germany, Tabsi and Puschel

Puschel really enjoys her time with the other girls. Some of them are from neighboring villages and thus enjoy a few privileges. When there is a youth night in Gärtringen, a town 7 kilometers away, Puschel doesn’t think twice about going with everyone when she is asked, even though she is not allowed. And it’s not just one, but many youth events. Through them she develops friendships with a group of young people around her age – yes, also boys (oh my goodness, and that’s through the deaconess “Mutterhaus”!) who that shape Puschel’s life.

At some point, we parents visit Puschel in Aidlingen. We experience the hospitality and kindness of the “Mutterhaus” and are grateful to see that our east German country girl is so well integrated in a faithful, Christ-centered community. One day, we are walking through the “Mutterhaus” when we come across Puschel working.

Her chore is cleaning a big, wide, marble staircase. However, everything is already clean, at least in Puschel’s opinion. So, Puschel is standing on the stairs, holding on to the handrail, with a cloth underneath her feet which she wiggles a little back and forth, and smiles broadly at us. She is very excited to see us and explains, when we ask what she is doing: “Well, I’m cleaning, of course. I’m just doing it my way.” In Aidlingen she also meets Myri, whose real name is Myriam. She is a little older than Puschel, and the two remain friends until the end of Puschel’s life. Myri wrote some of the lyrics for the musicals that were performed by the children’s and youth choirs in and around Aidlingen. For some of these musicals Puschel drew the backdrop. She does not take any of this for granted. Her friend Myri later writes about the time she first met Puschel and their early encounters:

When Puschel first came to southern Germany, she was very much shaped by her small world in Bülow. Everyone that met her heard about her dad and her mom, her animals, and the nature in Mecklenburg. Even then she was always happy to help, which led to her bringing up the person she inherited this passion from - her dad. Sometimes I thought to myself that every second sentence begins with “Papa…,” “Mama…,” or “Mecklenburg….” She simply was still the little country girl who loved her village and her family above all. And this was not going to ever change – except for the “little girl” part.

That, God changed in pretty much every way. In the beginning of our friendship, Puschel loved being part of activities and participating in everything. Later on she would lead and organize groups and initiate different things. I would have never dreamed of seeing Puschel talk in front of a big group of people, or seeing her write things for others to read. All of that she did years later – with only one goal in mind: challenge people to trust God more. Puschel wasn’t a writer, an academic, or a big public speaker. Her heart simply belonged to and focused on God. She loved Him so much that she followed what was important to Him without compromise: people. This helped her do things she would have never thought herself capable of doing when she left Aidlingen as a 17-year-old. My first encounter with Puschel was actually indirect, through others. I only heard of “Puschel”, and that she was an intern at the housekeeper´s house and could draw really well.

With her friend, Myriam (2001)

As we had just finished writing a musical, she drew a poster to advertise the upcoming performances. Underneath they had written: Drawings: Lydia Holmer. I remember thinking to myself, “But this is a drawing by Puschel!?”

Puschel didn’t like people taking away the fun of things, because fun was the most important thing…. For the longest time her favorite saying was, “God gave you a face. you have to smile on your own.” Just as straightforward as possible –