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- Herausgeber: Write Laugh
- Kategorie: Für Kinder und Jugendliche
- Serie: I’m Joking
- Sprache: Englisch
- Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024
Get the giggles now!
Unleash endless laughter with I’m Completely Joking, an unparalleled 5-in-1 collection jam-packed with over 2,000 original jokes. From the timeless ring of Funny Knock-Knock Jokes to the clever quips of I’m Joking, Genius, this anthology is your ultimate source of side-splitting humour. Complete with 100 never-seen-before original jokes, I’m Completely Joking will make you the hero of humour at any gathering.
Fun categories: Dip in and out at ease with 100 engaging topics to choose from.
Hilarious illustrations: Entertaining artwork by award-winning illustrator, Paul Beavis, on every page.
Joke-telling tips: Sprinkled with bite-sized tips to help you squeeze more laughs from your audience.
The ultimate gift: Give laughter for years to come with this must-have addition to any bookshelf.
Guaranteed Giggles: Whether you’re eight or ninety-eight, this laughter compendium guarantees a chuckle on every page.
This amazing 5-in-1-collection includes:
Funny Knock-Knock Jokes: 400+ Clean Jokes for Kids
I’m Joking: 500+ Original Jokes for Kids
I’m Seriously Joking: 500+ Seriously Funny Jokes for Kids
I’m Joking, Genius: 500+ Big-Brain Jokes for Clever Folks
I’m Completely Joking: 100 brand new original jokes
Why did the dog sniff the computer?
To see if its email had scent
What weighs four tonnes and wears glass slippers?
Cinderelephant
Knock-knock,
Who’s there?
Howler
Howler who?
Howler remember all these great jokes?
What happened when lion went in an elevator?
There was an uproar
How did the mountain know what was on the other side?
It had a peak
It’s time to get the giggles with this complete collection.
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Seitenzahl: 205
Ähnliche
I'm Completely Joking
The Biggest and Best Joke book for Kids with 2000+ Jokes
Funny Knock-Knock Jokes
I’m Joking
I'm Seriously Joking
I'm Joking, Genius!
I'm Completely Joking
Tom E. Moffatt
Contents
Climb Your Mountain
To be honest, I’m not completely sure how I managed to write over two thousand original jokes.
I feel like a mountain climber peering down from the peak of a formidable mountain, thinking, “How the heck did I get up here?”
Not a muscly, intrepid, well-equipped mountain climber, either. I’d be wearing shorts and a T-shirt. Sandals, maybe. Looking like I popped into town for an ice-cream and took a wrong turn.
Here I am, anyway. Standing atop Mount Jokemore, surveying the landscape and feeling out-of-place.
Why?
Because I am not a stand-up comedian or world-famous jokester.
I don’t have a PHD in Being Funny.
I am a dad, though. That gives me some comedy street-cred. Just not much.
So, how did I get here?
I’ll tell you: One. Joke. At. A. Time.
Initially, ten jokes a month for my website. Then, one joke every day for I’m Joking, my first joke book.
Before long, I was writing five jokes before lunch each day. And the jokes added up, book by book:
I’m Joking.
I’m Seriously Joking.
I’m Joking, Genius!
Funny Knock-Knock Jokes.
When I tallied them up, it came to just over one thousand nine hundred jokes, and I realised I couldn’t stop there. It would be like turning back when you’re only a hundred metres from the summit.
So, I put my head down and pushed on through a final one hundred jokes. Jokes that are original to this book. The snowy peak of my joke mountain.
Here they are, all two thousand jokes, squeezed into one epic tome. All original. And with so many to choose from, there is something for everyone in this ultimate kids’ laughter compendium.
I hope it will bring you giggles for years to come. But also, that it will encourage you to climb your own mountain. Whatever your goal, you can get there. One. Step. At. A. Time. Or one kick. One good deed. One hour of study. Whatever it is that your challenge requires. If you keep going, I’ll see you on the summit soon.
Funny Knock-Knock Jokes
400+ Clean Jokes for Kids
Tom E. Moffatt
BOOK ONE
Come In
So, you love knock-knock jokes, do you? Well, you’ve come to the right place.
This book is jam-packed with hundreds of brand-new howlers, neatly organised into different categories, making it easier to dip in and out.
There are the classic knock-knock jokes, which always use a person’s name. There are themed sections, such as animals, weather, and things you might find on your doorstep. And there are sound-play jokes, which use the ‘who?’ sound to take your audience by surprise. And last of all, there are the rule breakers. Those cheeky outlaws that never behave the way you’d expect.
The great thing about Knock-knockers is that they are some of the most fun jokes to tell. Why? Because you drag your audience into the joke. They can’t just stand there, rolling their eyes and trying not to laugh. They actually have to join in. To say the correct responses at the right time, and that keeps them engaged. They are a captive audience, caught in your joke trap until you decide to release them.
And with 400+ knock-out jokes between these pages, that could be hours away. Days, even. Perhaps weeks, if you speak slowly.
Now dive in and entertain yourself—and those around you—with these Funny Knock-Knock Jokes!
Or if you need some help with your delivery skills, skip to the Telling Tips:
Ten Telling Tips
#1: Smile
#2: Be Loud and Clear
#3: Rhythm & Timing
#4: Eye Contact
#5: Do Actions
#6: Put on an Accent
#7: Sing!
#8: Jot Down your Favourites
#9: Memorise Them
#10: Practise
Keep it Classic
Originally, knock-knock jokes always used a person’s name. The idea is that the joke-teller is knocking on an imaginary door and the audience wants to know who it is. This section is jam-packed with nearly 200 classic knock-knock jokes covering common and not-so-common names from all across the world. They are arranged from A-Z, so you can easily search for your own name or those of your friends and family.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Acosta
Acosta who?
Acosta courier one more time and I’ll call the police!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Adana
Adana who?
Adana poo in my pants! Can I use your bathroom?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Adair
Adair who?
Adair you to eat a teaspoon of hot sauce!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Adele
Adele who?
Adele dust gissed me on da lipth! Blugh!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Aditya
Aditya who?
Aditya if we were stranded on a desert island!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Alef
Alef who?
Alef you so much… can I giff you a kiss?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Amor
Amor who?
Amor pressing question is WHO ARE YOU?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Ana
Ana who?
Anather joke. And there’s plenty more to come.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Ange
Ange who?
Ange-you and you and you!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Anya
Anya who?
Anya call yourself a joker?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Apollo
Apollo who?
Apollogies for such a bad joke!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Armin
Armin who?
Armin for the rest of the day. You can go out if you like.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Armstrong
Armstrong who?
Armstrong enough to knock this door down!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Arnie
Arnie who?
Arnie’d to lie down, so please let me in.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Arthur
Arthur who?
Arthur any decent jokes in here?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Arya
Arya who?
Arya gonna let me in or not?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Asya
Asya who?
Asya were. I got the wrong house.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Athena
Athena who?
Athena houthe for thale. Would you like to come and thee it with me?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Attila
Attila who?
Attila lie… my names actually [your name]!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Audi
Audi who?
Audi-you-do… it’s nice to meet you.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Avalos
Avalos who?
Avalos my way… do you have a map?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Azure
Azure who?
Azure here, you might as well tell me some of your own jokes.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Barbara
Barbara who?
Barbara black sheep, have you any wool?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Belle
Belle who?
Ding dong!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Betty
Betty who?
I betty doesn’t know what my real name is!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Bionda
Bionda who?
This is Bionda joke!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Carmen
Carmen who?
Carmen have a look at my new bike. It’s so cool.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Celeste
Celeste who?
Celeste time I tell this joke!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Charlene
Charlene who?
Charlene on the door to keep it open?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Cher
Cher who?
Cher these jokes with all your friends!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Cosette
Cosette who?
Of Cosette is me. I live here.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Daenerys
Daenerys who?
Daenerys public toilet is miles away. Can I use yours?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Désirée
Désirée who?
Désirée of sunshine peeking through the clouds. Wanna come and see?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Don
Don who?
Don ya wanna let me in?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Donatella
Donatella who?
Donatella your mother that I’m-a here.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Don Giovanni
Don Giovanni who?
Don Giovanni open ze door?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Eileen
Eileen who?
Eileen on the knocker by accident. Sorry!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Elise
Elise who?
Elise let me in for a few minutes.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Enoch
Enoch who?
Enoch on my door… I knock on his door!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Faith…
Faith who?
Now we’re faith to faith, let me kith you!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Filippa
Filippa who?
Filippa cup with sugar for me, please. I’ve run out.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Flores
Flores who?
Flores slippery. Mind you don’t fall over.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Frieda
Frieda who?
Friedalivery service. But you need to pay for the food.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Genoah
Genoah who?
Genoah place I can get my bike fixed? My wheel fell off.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Ginny
Ginny who?
Ginnyd any more jokes? I’ve got plenty.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Giselle
Giselle who?
Giselle refreshments? I’d like to buy a cup of tea.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Gladys
Gladys who?
I’m Gladys not raining!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Harper
Harper who?
Harper birthday to you!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Harry
Harry who?
Harry up and let me in.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Hassan
Hassan who?
Hassanother person knocked on your door today?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Hazel
Hazel who?
Hazel the power gone out in your house, too?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Hester
Hester who?
This Hester be the right house! I used Google Maps.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Honour
Honour who?
Honour doorstep isn’t the best place to get a good night’s sleep.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Howard
Howard who?
Howard you like to let me in?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Idona
Idona who?
Idona bad fart. You might want to keep the door closed.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Imelda
Imelda who?
Imelda than you, so you should hold the door open for me.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Ingo
Ingo who?
Ingo the key. Open go the door.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Isadore
Isadore who?
Isadore gonna stop me if I really want to get into your house?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Isla
Isla who?
Isla be back in cinque minuti.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Ismail
Ismail who?
Ismail waiting for me? I’m expecting a parcel.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Ivory
Ivory who?
Ivory nearly went to the wrong house.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Janoah
Janoah who?
Janoah better knock-knock joke?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Javier
Javier who?
Javier heard any good jokes recently?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Jermaine
Jermaine who?
Jermaine entrance was blocked, so I had to use this side door.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Jess
Jess who?
Jess you wait for my next joke!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Jethro
Jethro who?
Jethro a ball into my garden? I found this one.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Joanna
Joanna who?
Joanna come out to play?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Joachim
Joachim who?
Here’s my dawg. Will you Joachim for me?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Justin
Justin who?
Justin time for some more jokes….
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Kanye
Kanye who?
Kanye please turn that music down… I’m trying to sleep.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Ken
Ken who?
Ken you let me in, please? I’m busting for the toilet.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Kenna
Kenna who?
Kenna borrow some money? I promise to pay it back.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Kent
Kent who?
Kent you see who it is?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Kenzie
Kenzie who?
Kenzie owner of ze green station wagon please move eet? Eez blocking my driveway.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Kiefer
Kiefer who?
Kiefer your house is under the doormat. Can I use it next time?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Lavender
Lavender who?
I’m lavender new look! Your hair’s great!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Leif
Leif who?
Leif the door open. I’ll be back in five.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Lena
Lena who?
Lenagainst the door, would you? The lock is broken.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Linda
Linda who?
Linda hand in the garden… we’ve got heaps to do.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Livia
Livia who?
I Livia. Let me in.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Lorna
Lorna who?
Your lorna needs a mowing!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Luke
Luke who?
Luke for yourself! Can’t you see who it is?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Macy
Macy who?
You Macy my dog in your garden from time to time, but don’t worry—he’s just a little Snoopy.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Major
Major who?
Major look, made ya stare, made you lose your underwear!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Markie
Markie who?
Markie is missing. Let me in.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Meyer
Meyer who?
Meyer come in? It’s freezing out here.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Mia
Mia who?
Mia my friends. We’re here for the party.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Midas
Midas who?
You Midas well put the kettle on.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Morris
Morris who?
Morris better than less, so let’s have some more jokes.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Moselle
Moselle who?
Moselle phone has run out of battery. Can I charge it here?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Mustafa
Mustafa who?
I Mustafa better joke than this one.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Neil
Neil who?
Neil before your king (or queen!)
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Nina
Nina who?
Nina nee-nah… did you call an ambulance?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Nita
Nita who?
You Nita be a bit quicker. You took ages!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Noel
Noel who?
I Noel the best jokes! Do you wanna hear some more?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Oberon
Oberon who?
Oberon the other side of the street, we’re having party. Come join us.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Olaf
Olaf who?
Olaf what you’ve done with the place. It’s beautiful.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Oliver
Oliver who?
Oliveround here too. We should hang out.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Omar
Omar who?
Omar darling… you look gorgeous!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Orion
Orion who?
Orion your shirts, but you’ll have to iron your own pants!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Orla
Orla who?
Orla want for Christmas is my two front teef, my two front teef…
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Oscar
Oscar who?
You Oscar lot of questions!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Paco
Paco who?
Paco suitcase… we’re leaving!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Parker
Parker who?
Parker-way from my driveway in the future. You blocked me in.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Paul
Paul who?
Paul yourself together… it’s only a joke!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Philippa
Philippa who?
Philippa bucket, quick! Your door’s on fire!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Preston
Preston who?
I Preston the doorbell, but it didn’t work.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Prince
Prince who?
Prince in the snow led me to your door.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Qino
Qino who?
Qino work in door. You change lock?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Rhoda
Rhoda who?
Rhoda bike all the way here. I’m exhausted.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Robin
Robin who?
I’m Robin you. Give me your money!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Rosa
Rosa who?
Rosa bit early this morning, so I thought I’d come and bother you.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Rowena
Rowena who?
Rowena boat down the river. Wanna come?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Rufus
Rufus who?
Rufus caving in. Watch out!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Sabina
Sabina who?
Sabina few robberies in the area. Make sure you keep your doors and windows locked.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Sadie
Sadie who?
You Sadie next joke!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Saint
Saint who?
Saint the right house… sorry!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Sam
Sam who?
Sam people look to see who it is!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Sarah
Sarah who?
Sarah-nother person living here?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Scott
Scott who?
Scott really cold all of a sudden. Can I come in?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Seamus
Seamus who?
Seamus not school holidays already.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Selena
Selena who?
Selena secondhand bike. You interested?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Selma
Selma who?
I’ll Selma own grandmother, if you give me a good price.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Seymour
Seymour who?
You’d Seymour clearly if you wore glasses.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Shantel
Shantel who?
Shantel you any more jokes until you promise to laugh.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Shelby
Shelby who?
Shelby back in a minute.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Sherlock
Sherlock who?
Sherlock the door when I’m done?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Shirley
Shirley who?
Shirley you’ve heard this one before!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Shona
Shona who?
You’ve Shona a lot of initiative answering the door by yourself. Well done!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Simon
Simon who?
Simon says, “Lick your elbow!”
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Sinbad
Sinbad who?
Sinbad people in this neighbourhood. You should use the security chain.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Sirius
Sirius who?
You Siriusly don’t know my name?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Sofia
Sofia who?
Sofia, so good. Just three hundred jokes to go!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Stan
Stan who?
Stand aside, this is my house!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Summer
Summer who?
Summer these jokes are pretty funny!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Tex
Tex who?
It Tex a long time to get here from Houston.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Theodore
Theodore who?
Theodore was locked and I’ve forgotten my keys.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Thor
Thor who?
Thort I’d have to break in with my hammer!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Thora
Thora who?
Thora for thale thign. Can I take a look around?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Tiffany
Tiffany who?
These jokes are Tiffany!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Tilda
Tilda who?
You’ll be laughing Tilda cows come home.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Tilly
Tilly who?
Tilly fixes the doorbell, I’ll have to keep knocking.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Tobius
Tobius who?
I popped out Tobius some lunch. You hungry?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Toby
Toby who?
Toby honest, I was hoping your mother would answer the door.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Troy
Troy who?
Troy not to laugh too hard!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Uda
Uda who?
Uda you think you are?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Ugo
Ugo who?
Ugoes there?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Valdis
Valdis who?
Valdis is a nice house!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Vera
Vera who?
Vera you going? I just got here.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Verda
Verda who?
Verda heck have you been?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Verner
Verner who?
Verner you going to remember my name?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Vishal
Vishal who?
Vishal, Vishal not be moved, Vishal, Vishal not be moved.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Viva
Viva who?
Viva vaiting for a veally long time.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Wade
Wade who?
Wade a second and I’ll tell you some more jokes.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Wander
Wander who?
I Wander when you’ll remember my name?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Ward
Ward who?
Ward you mind getting a move on. I’m in a hurry!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Warner
Warner who?
I Warner sit down. Can I borrow a chair?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Watson
Watson who?
Watson TV? Shall we take a look?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Wendy
Wendy who?
Wendy you want to go out for a burger?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Werther
Werther who?
Werther you like it or not, I’m going to tell LOTS more jokes.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Weston
Weston who?
Stop Weston my time and let me in!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Willy
Willy who?
Willy let me in or won’t he?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Wilma
Wilma who?
Wilma bike be all right parked outside?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Winnie
Winnie who?
Winnie’d to finish with these name jokes already!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Windsor
Windsor who?
Windsor good time to show you my royal stamp collection? It’s fascinating.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Wynn
Wynn who?
Wynn are you gonna give me a key?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Xavier
Xavier who?
Xavier terrible jokes for yourself!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Xena
Xena who?
Xena lot of funny things in my life, but your doorknocker is hilarious.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Yael
Yael who?
Yael if you need me… I’ll be in the garden.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Yanira
Yanira who?
Yanira than I’d like you to be. Could you please take a step back?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Yareli
Yareli who?
Yareli don’t remember my name?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Yuki
Yuki who?
Yukiip laughing… I keep telling jokes.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Yvette
Yvette who?
Yvette should take a look at your dog. That much poop is not healthy.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Zainab
Zainab who?
Zainabody lost a football… I found one in my garden.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Zaire
Zaire who?
Zaire iz fresh out ‘ere. Come outzide!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Zen
Zen who?
Zen you tell me anozer joke.
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Zion
Zion who?
Zion your doorstep all night? What happened?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Zita
Zita who?
Zita good time to visit?
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Zulma
Zulma who?
Zulma fault! I’m SO sorry!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Zuma
Zuma who?
Zuma long now… into the next section!
