I’m Joking E-Book

Tom E. Moffatt

• Herausgeber: Write Laugh
• Kategorie: Für Kinder und Jugendliche
• Serie: I'm Joking
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 52

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2020

Beschreibung

500+ hilarious jokes that you haven’t heard before!
Unleash a tsunami of laughter with I’m Joking - the ultimate source of side-splitting humour for joke-lovers aged 7 to 107! With over 500 freshly-squeezed original jokes, divided into fun categories like Barking Mad Mischief, Nutty Giggles, and Stinky Poo Gags, I’m Joking makes the perfect addition to any bookshelf, backpack, or bedside table.

I’m Joking:
• 230 pages packed with jokes and illustrations
• Squeaky-clean family fun for all ages
• Ideal for road trips, plane journeys or family gatherings
• Improves reading skills and boosts vocabulary
• Perfect gift for budding comedians and seasoned jokesters alike

Sneak Peak:
What did the spine say as it left the room?
I’ll be straight back

When should you run away from a goldfish?
When it’s in a tank

Which keys do dogs need?
Walkies

What did the cat say when it hurt itself?
Me ow!

Get the giggles NOW with I’m Joking, the ultimate joke book for kids and families!

Explore the rest of Tom E. Moffatt’s Jokingdom:
Tom E. Moffatt is a master of clean, family-friendly humour, crafting joke books that make kids of all ages laugh out loud. With a knack for creating original, giggle-worthy jokes, his collections are packed with punny, easy-to-read jokes that both children and adults alike can enjoy. If you enjoy books by authors like Rob Elliott, Carole P. Roman, and Mat Waugh, you’ll LOVE exploring the funny knock-knock jokes, hilarious howlers, and witty one-liners in Tom E. Moffatt’s Jokingdom.

Leseprobe

I’m Joking

500+ Original Jokes for Kids

Tom E. Moffatt

Write Laugh Books

Copyright

Print book and ebook design: Write Laugh Books First published in 2020 by Write Laugh Books

12 King Street, Rotorua,3010, New Zealand

Text © Tom E. Moffatt, 2020

Illustrations © Paul Beavis, 2020

www.tomemoffatt.com

ISBN 978-0-9951210-2-7 (print)

ISBN 978-0-9951210-3-4 (ebook)

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

A catalogue record for this book is available from the National Library of New Zealand.

Cover design and illustrations: Paul Beavis

Developmental and copy editing: Ana Bowles

Proofreading: Marj Griffiths, Rainbow Resolutions & Vicki Arnott, Story Polisher

Contents

1.

I’m Beginning

2.

Ancient Egyptian Humour

3.

Sound Animal Antics

4.

Body-Part Puns

5.

Bare Bum Buffoonery

6.

Purrfect Cat Comedy

7.

Christmas Crackers

8.

Odd Clothes Jokes

9.

Halloween Horrors

10.

Barking Mad Mischief

11.

Tasty Nibbles

12.

Fruity Frolics

13.

Cracking Egg Escapades

14.

Funny Book Titles

15.

Bonkers Bug Jokes

16.

Something Fishy

17.

Serious Job Jests

18.

Classic Knock-Knock Jokes

19.

Unrestricted Knock-Knock Jokes

20.

Sound-Play Knock-Knock Jokes

21.

Mo Teasers

22.

Who’s Who Jokes

23.

Nutty Giggles

24.

Stinky Poo Gags

25.

Lost in Space

26.

Sporty Laughs

27.

Time to Veg Out

28.

Readers' Favourites

29.

I’m NOT Finishing

Also by Tom E. Moffatt

About the Author

I’m Beginning

Jokes are funny things.

The same joke can be told over and over, and as long as it continues to find fresh ears, there’s no limit to the number of laughs it can conjure. You can travel thousands of miles and several decades, only to hear children tell the same jokes you heard at their age. Jokes that are told with such enjoyment and enthusiasm, it’s as though they were created just for that one moment.

A joke only begins to lose its power when it has been heard before. And with the same jokes doing the circuit year after year, this does tend to happen. I like to think that the jokes you will find in this book are all fresh entries into the joke arena. Every one of them was carefully crafted by me, Tom E. Moffatt. While there is always the chance that a similar – or even identical – joke was made up by someone else at some other time, this is not a book of collated jokes that you will have heard before. They are as original as I was able to make them.

At first I tried my best to include only Good Jokes in my collections. However, when I tested them out on unsuspecting passers-by, some laughed their socks off, while others rolled their eyes. So, in the name of science, I decided to test some of my Bad Jokes on the same crowd. Amazingly, the eye-rollers started laughing and the laughers started eye-rolling. And I learnt an important lesson about joke writing: You can’t please everyone with every joke!

I therefore decided to include a wider variety of jokes in this book… some good, some bad and some very ugly. It’s up to you to decide which is which. But with more than five hundred attempts, I hope to get at least one laugh out of every reader.

I also hope that one day, in distant lands and years, I’ll hear one of my own jokes out there in the world. Perhaps told to me by some enthusiastic young joke teller, laughing as they say it, as though that joke was being shared for the very first time.

Ancient Egyptian Humour

When I write jokes, I think of a topic, such as animal sounds, body parts or fish. I then brainstorm as many related puns and funny ideas as I can. It’s hard to say why I choose each joke topic, though. Some of them are obvious sources of humour. Others start with a single joke and grow from there. While I was writing fish jokes, I accidentally came up with my first Ancient Egyptian joke. That got me wondering about other Egyptian jokes, so I started bouncing ideas around, until the second joke came to me. Those two were enough to convince me to keep going. And just in case you were wondering… Howard Carter is the archaeologist who discovered the intact tomb of the young Pharaoh Tutankhamun.

Why did Ancient Egyptian fish love the desert?

They were in d’Nile

What did Howard Carter say to his driver?

Toot-and-come-in

What did the pharaoh say after his tomb was ransacked?

I want my mummy!

Why don’t people use Ancient Egyptian drum kits?

They have too many cymbals

Why did the Egyptian man shave pictures onto his head?

It was hairyglyphics

Where did Ancient Egyptians keep their bad jokes?

In the book of the dad

Who conquered all the cheese in Ancient Egypt?

Alexander the Grater

What happened when food poisoning hit Ancient Egypt?

They closed their Sphinx tours

Why are mummies scared of Christmas?

They don’t want to get unwrapped

What do you call an Ancient Egyptian who didn’t believe in the Gods?

Away with the pharaohs

How did Ancient Egyptians like their eggs?

Mummifried

What was the best thing about being a woman in Ancient Egypt?

You could become a mummy twice

Why did Ancient Egyptians think cats were lucky?

Because they had nine afterlives

What’s it called when a body is preserved in its own farts?

Daddification

Why did all Egyptians wear make-up?

They wanted to look better than their mummies

What did Ancient Egyptian rulers say when they didn’t get what they wanted?

It’s not Pharaoh!

What’s the difference between King Arthur and Cleopatra?

One had Camelot, the other had a lot of camels

Where did Ancient Egyptians store their lozenges?

In a sarcoughagus

What is a mummy’s favourite kind of music?

Rap

Why couldn’t the Ancient Egyptians make their pyramids straight?

They’d just lost their ruler