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- Herausgeber: Write Laugh
- Kategorie: Für Kinder und Jugendliche
- Serie: I'm Joking
- Sprache: Englisch
- Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2020
Looking for freshly-squeezed jokes?
Replenish your joke repertoire and change that broken record with 500+ jokes you haven’t heard before. I’m Joking is packed with hilarious illustrations and compiled into fun categories, such as Barking Mad Mischief, Nutty Giggles and Stinky Poo Gags. This squeaky-clean family fun makes the perfect gift for jokesters aged 7 to 107.
What did the spine say as it left the room?
I’ll be straight back
When should you run away from a goldfish?
When it’s in a tank
Which keys do dogs need?
Walkies
Why did the employee put a clock under her chair?
She was working overtime
What did the cat say when it hurt itself?
Me ow!
Click BUY NOW for hundreds more funny jokes for children aged 8-12 and beyond…
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Seitenzahl: 52
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I’m Joking
500+ Original Jokes for Kids
Tom E. Moffatt
Copyright
Print book and ebook design: Write Laugh Books First published in 2020 by Write Laugh Books
12 King Street, Rotorua,3010, New Zealand
Text © Tom E. Moffatt, 2020
Illustrations © Paul Beavis, 2020
www.tomemoffatt.com
ISBN 978-0-9951210-2-7 (print)
ISBN 978-0-9951210-3-4 (ebook)
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
A catalogue record for this book is available from the National Library of New Zealand.
Cover design and illustrations: Paul Beavis
Developmental and copy editing: Ana Bowles
Proofreading: Marj Griffiths, Rainbow Resolutions & Vicki Arnott, Story Polisher
Contents
1.
I’m Beginning
2.
Ancient Egyptian Humour
3.
Sound Animal Antics
4.
Body-Part Puns
5.
Bare Bum Buffoonery
6.
Purrfect Cat Comedy
7.
Christmas Crackers
8.
Odd Clothes Jokes
9.
Halloween Horrors
10.
Barking Mad Mischief
11.
Tasty Nibbles
12.
Fruity Frolics
13.
Cracking Egg Escapades
14.
Funny Book Titles
15.
Bonkers Bug Jokes
16.
Something Fishy
17.
Serious Job Jests
18.
Classic Knock-Knock Jokes
19.
Unrestricted Knock-Knock Jokes
20.
Sound-Play Knock-Knock Jokes
21.
Mo Teasers
22.
Who’s Who Jokes
23.
Nutty Giggles
24.
Stinky Poo Gags
25.
Lost in Space
26.
Sporty Laughs
27.
Time to Veg Out
28.
Readers' Favourites
29.
I’m NOT Finishing
Also by Tom E. Moffatt
About the Author
I’m Beginning
Jokes are funny things.
The same joke can be told over and over, and as long as it continues to find fresh ears, there’s no limit to the number of laughs it can conjure. You can travel thousands of miles and several decades, only to hear children tell the same jokes you heard at their age. Jokes that are told with such enjoyment and enthusiasm, it’s as though they were created just for that one moment.
A joke only begins to lose its power when it has been heard before. And with the same jokes doing the circuit year after year, this does tend to happen. I like to think that the jokes you will find in this book are all fresh entries into the joke arena. Every one of them was carefully crafted by me, Tom E. Moffatt. While there is always the chance that a similar – or even identical – joke was made up by someone else at some other time, this is not a book of collated jokes that you will have heard before. They are as original as I was able to make them.
At first I tried my best to include only Good Jokes in my collections. However, when I tested them out on unsuspecting passers-by, some laughed their socks off, while others rolled their eyes. So, in the name of science, I decided to test some of my Bad Jokes on the same crowd. Amazingly, the eye-rollers started laughing and the laughers started eye-rolling. And I learnt an important lesson about joke writing: You can’t please everyone with every joke!
I therefore decided to include a wider variety of jokes in this book… some good, some bad and some very ugly. It’s up to you to decide which is which. But with more than five hundred attempts, I hope to get at least one laugh out of every reader.
I also hope that one day, in distant lands and years, I’ll hear one of my own jokes out there in the world. Perhaps told to me by some enthusiastic young joke teller, laughing as they say it, as though that joke was being shared for the very first time.
Ancient Egyptian Humour
When I write jokes, I think of a topic, such as animal sounds, body parts or fish. I then brainstorm as many related puns and funny ideas as I can. It’s hard to say why I choose each joke topic, though. Some of them are obvious sources of humour. Others start with a single joke and grow from there. While I was writing fish jokes, I accidentally came up with my first Ancient Egyptian joke. That got me wondering about other Egyptian jokes, so I started bouncing ideas around, until the second joke came to me. Those two were enough to convince me to keep going. And just in case you were wondering… Howard Carter is the archaeologist who discovered the intact tomb of the young Pharaoh Tutankhamun.
Why did Ancient Egyptian fish love the desert?
They were in d’Nile
What did Howard Carter say to his driver?
Toot-and-come-in
What did the pharaoh say after his tomb was ransacked?
I want my mummy!
Why don’t people use Ancient Egyptian drum kits?
They have too many cymbals
Why did the Egyptian man shave pictures onto his head?
It was hairyglyphics
Where did Ancient Egyptians keep their bad jokes?
In the book of the dad
Who conquered all the cheese in Ancient Egypt?
Alexander the Grater
What happened when food poisoning hit Ancient Egypt?
They closed their Sphinx tours
Why are mummies scared of Christmas?
They don’t want to get unwrapped
What do you call an Ancient Egyptian who didn’t believe in the Gods?
Away with the pharaohs
How did Ancient Egyptians like their eggs?
Mummifried
What was the best thing about being a woman in Ancient Egypt?
You could become a mummy twice
Why did Ancient Egyptians think cats were lucky?
Because they had nine afterlives
What’s it called when a body is preserved in its own farts?
Daddification
Why did all Egyptians wear make-up?
They wanted to look better than their mummies
What did Ancient Egyptian rulers say when they didn’t get what they wanted?
It’s not Pharaoh!
What’s the difference between King Arthur and Cleopatra?
One had Camelot, the other had a lot of camels
Where did Ancient Egyptians store their lozenges?
In a sarcoughagus
What is a mummy’s favourite kind of music?
Rap
Why couldn’t the Ancient Egyptians make their pyramids straight?
They’d just lost their ruler
