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- Herausgeber: Write Laugh
- Kategorie: Für Kinder und Jugendliche
- Serie: I'm Joking
- Sprache: Englisch
A seriously good way to get kids reading…
With a whopping 500 original jokes crammed-full of puns and word-plays, this 230-page book will get kids reading and show them how much fun language can be. They'll even improve their vocabulary and thinking skills along the way.
These clean family-friendly jokes are divided into fun categories, making them easier to find and share. Brief introductions from the author explain how the jokes were inspired and constructed, and over 100 hilarious illustrations bring the jokes to life.
If laughter is the best medicine, this book is a seriously good cure. Suitable for jokesters aged 7 to 107.
(Side effects may include uncontrollable giggles, side-splitting laughter and incessant joke-telling.)
You’ll find the following jokes and hundreds more…
Where is the milk always fresher?
On the udder side
How do you get your arm down a toilet?
U-bend it
Doctor, doctor, I think I’m a library book.
Okay, I’m just going to check you out
What does fun do at school?
Lessens
Why did Snow White win referee of the year?
She was the fairest of the all
BUY NOW for hundreds more of the funniest jokes for children aged 8-12 and beyond…
Das E-Book können Sie in Legimi-Apps oder einer beliebigen App lesen, die das folgende Format unterstützen:
Seitenzahl: 52
Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2021
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I'm Seriously Joking
500+ Seriously Funny Jokes for Kids
Tom E. Moffatt
Copyright
Published in 2021 by Write Laugh Books
Rotorua, New Zealand
Text © Tom E. Moffatt, 2021
Illustrations © Paul Beavis, 2021
www.tomemoffatt.com
ISBN 978-0-9951210-8-9 (print)
ISBN 978-0-9951210-9-6 (ebook)
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
A catalogue record for this book is available from the National Library of New Zealand.
Cover design and illustrations: Paul Beavis
Developmental and copy editing: Anna Bowles
Proofreading: Vicki Arnott, Story Polisher
Print book and ebook design: Write Laugh Books
Contents
1.
Time to Get Serious
2.
Fairy-tale Jokes
3.
School-time Shenanigans
4.
Fast Ones
5.
Toilet Humour
6.
Dinosaur Romp
7.
Doctor, Doctor Jokes
8.
Bird Banter
9.
Wild Wit
10.
Limerick Laughs
11.
Farty Farce
12.
Date and Time Trickery
13.
Music Mischief
14.
Pet Playfulness
15.
More Funny Book Titles
16.
Computer Capers
17.
Home Hysterics
18.
Worldly Wonders
19.
Twiddly Tongue Twisters
20.
Simple Simon Jokes
21.
Farmyard Fun
22.
Knock-Knock Jokes
23.
Easy as ABC
24.
Who’s Who Howlers
25.
Roman Riot
26.
Smarty-Pants Jokes
27.
Readers’ Favourites
28.
Keep Going
29.
Also by Tom E. Moffatt
About the Author
Time to Get Serious
Ihad loads of fun writing I’m Joking, my first collection of jokes. But I knew if I wanted to come up with another five hundred original jokes, I needed to get serious. So, I laid down some rules:
No watching TV.
No reading books.
No listening to podcasts.
… UNTIL I had written five jokes that day.
It took a few long nights and entertainment-free weeks, but in less than six months … I’m Seriously Joking was complete. And to be honest, there were more than enough laugh-out-loud moments along the way to make it worthwhile.
My goal was to provide tons of new jokes that you (and your friends and family) have never heard before. So, if I wrote a joke that seemed too obvious or familiar, I chucked it out and started over, resulting in acollection of five hundred completely fresh jokes.
I seriously hope you enjoy them!
Fairy-tale Jokes
Once upon a time, I thought it would be a good idea to write a few jokes for my website. I’ve now written more than a thousand of them, and The End is nowhere in sight. In fact, joke-writing has become one of the most enjoyable chapters in my author story … one that leads me in directions that I never imagined I would go. Like these fairy-tale jokes, for example.
Why does Goldilocks go round in circles?
She always goes just right
What did the emperor wear to his party?
His birthday suit
What stories do puppies like?
Furry tails
How did Jack’s mum find out about the giants?
Jack spilt the beans
Why did Snow White win referee of the year?
She was the fairest of them all
What made the pile of mattresses wet?
The princess and the pee
How do we know that fairy tales are made up?
Fairies don't have tails
What did the witch in Hansel and Gretel say when she got back to her house?
Home, sweet home
Why did Prince Charming and Rapunzel grow their hair long?
So they could live hippily ever after
What does Cinderella eat for a midnight feast?
Pumpkin pie
When does Rumpelstiltskin put on weight?
When he wears a name badge
Which prince gets left behind in the forest?
Foot prints
What do you call a princess with a numb bum?
Sleeping booty
What did the wolf say to his toast?
All the butter to eat you with
Why do you need a tape measure in the shoemaker’s shop?
It’s elf service
What do you get if you walk far, far away?
Pus in boots
What weighs four tons and wears glass slippers?
Cinderelephant
STUDENT ONE: Who ate the Gingerbread man?
STUDENT TWO: It wasn’t me, dude
What did Hansel say when he lost his way?
Oh, crumbs!
Why did Jack call the police?
He’d been stalked
School-time Shenanigans
I’ve spent lots of time in schools. Obviously, I had to go to one when I was a child, like it or not. But as an adult I became a teacher and taught in schools all over the world for over ten years. Nowadays, I get to visit schools as an author, which is much more fun. All I have to do is tell jokes and stories. And it’s no coincidence that many of these jokes and stories are set in schools.
Why don’t pencils need legs?
They are stationary
What’s less than a metre long but packed full of kids?
A school yard
Why did the detective spend all day in the classroom?
She was looking into a pencil case
What happens when you put several maths whizzes in the same class?
They keep multiplying
Why did the roofer’s daughter love school?
She was always top of the class
How does a light bulb learn?
With flash cards
Why did the school children fight, steal and lie?
They didn’t have any principals
What happened to the teacher when his arms, legs and body fell off?
He became the head of the school
Why did the boy have bits of metal in his teeth?
It was his staple diet
How does Maths affect your language skills?
It gives you word problems
Why do snowmen never learn anything?
They are too cool for school
What do you call a pencil that doesn’t write?
Pointless
Why does school keep you fit?
You do lots of exercises
How do you make consonant blends?
With a word processor
Why did the boy throw a brick through a classroom window?
It was break time
What did the balloon hate about school?
