I'm Joking, Genius! E-Book

Tom E. Moffatt

• Herausgeber: Write Laugh
• Kategorie: Lebensstil
• Serie: I’m Joking
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 53

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2023

Beschreibung

Bored of hearing the same old simple jokes?

Sharpen your wit and sizzle your synapses with over five hundred big-brain jokes. Hilariously crafted from clever categories, such as Geometric Japes and Viking Vagary, these jokes will extend, enlighten and entertain even the brainiest of jokesters.

Complete with brief introductions from the author and a glossary to expand your vocabulary, this book will give your brain the workout it’s been craving.

So, caress that cranium, genius… it’s time for some intellectual jokes:

What did Shakespeare say when writing a play about shapes?

2D or not 2D? That is the question.

How do you freeze tears?

With cryogenics

What did the chief do when he lost an eye?

He became a chef

Who stopped the spread of cheesy jokes in Ancient Greece?

Alexander the Grater

Why were there no Vikings called Ruth?

Because they were Ruthless

Grab a copy now for hundreds more big-brain jokes for jokesters aged twelve and beyond…

Leseprobe

I'm Joking, Genius!

500+ Big-Brain Jokes for Clever Folks

Tom E. Moffatt

Write Laugh

Copyright

First published in 2023 by Write Laugh

12 King Street, Rotorua, 3010, New Zealand

Text © Tom E. Moffatt, 2023

Illustrations © Paul Beavis, 2023

www.tomemoffatt.com

ISBN 978-1-99-116177-2 (print)

ISBN 978-1-99-116178-9 (ebook)

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Cover design and illustrations: Paul Beavis

Developmental and copy editing: Vicki Arnott

Proofreading: Marj Griffiths, Rainbow Resolutions

Print book and ebook design: Write Laugh

Dedication

For my sister, Helen,

who was always the clever one!

Contents

1.

Introduction

2.

Intelligence Jests

3.

Funny by Nature

4.

Convivial Chemistry

5.

Sci-Fi Escapades

6.

Instruments of Laughter

7.

Wordy Wisecracks

8.

Alien Antics

9.

Mum Mummery

10.

Curious Creatures

11.

Funny Book Titles

12.

Greek Gags

13.

Beverage Banter

14.

Family Frolics

15.

Silly Star Wars

16.

Geometric Japes

17.

Cooking Capers

18.

Common Name Comedy

19.

Humor USA

20.

Nursery Rhyme Jokes

21.

Doctor-Doctor Jokes

22.

Number Mumbo Jumbo

23.

Garden Gambol

24.

Viking Vagary

25.

Cheesy Jokes

26.

Tiny Tales

27.

Readers’ Favourites

28.

That’s All, Folks

Also by Tom E. Moffatt

About the Author

Glossary

Introduction

Jokes are funny things!

You can sometimes hear an amazing joke with a unique setup and a brilliantly clever punchline… but it doesn’t make you laugh. A smile, maybe. Perhaps some enthusiastic nodding. But no rolling about on the floor in hysterics.

Does that make it a terrible joke?

Or mean that you’ve got no sense of humour?

Not necessarily.

A joke doesn’t have to make you wet yourself to qualify as a good joke. If it stretches your understanding and sizzles your synapses, it might be a big-brain joke. One that makes your mind more malleable and forces your brain onto its tippytoes before you can say, “I get it!” And you never know… you may even let out a stream of laughter, instead of pee.

That was my aim with I’m Joking, Genius! I flushed the poo and bum sections in favour of more intellectual topics. And if I wrote a joke that was too simple, the rubbish bin beckoned.

That means these jokes are not for everybody. Anyone who hears rattling when they shake their head or smells burning when they count without using their fingers is not ready for this book. They might hurt themselves on its sharp corners.

YOU, on the other hand, are ready. You’ve been in training for years, stretching your vocabulary and following a strict diet of jokes. You’ve sharpened your wit and flexed your funny bone. You’re ready to give your brain a workout, burning off some of that grey-flab. And you’ve come to the right place.

But you’re not on your own. If you need a little support along the way, check out the glossary at the back of the book. Just tap the challenging word, and you’ll go right to its definition./, where you’ll find definitions of some of the most challenging words (eBook/print). And if you still can’t wrap your brain around a particular joke, ask an adult—or an expert in that field—to explain it to you.

Now, caress that cranium, genius… it’s time for some big-brain jokes!

Intelligence Jests

These Intelligence Jests will sharpen your intellect and turbo-charge your wit. So put on your thinking cap and get ready to laugh until your big brain hurts.

What makes a criminal mastermind?

Lots of grey cells

What do you call a rowdy altercation of minds?

Cerebrawl

Why didn’t Shakespeare go to the pub?

He was bard

What do you call a child that needs caffeine to think?

Hyperintelligent

MAN: How do you get into the Mensa building?

WOMAN: I Queue

What’s it called when you pay someone to reason for you?

Hire thinking

What do you call a hippie at University?

A high achiever

Why was the Nokia barred from the smart phone conference?

It wasn’t apped

What’s it called when your parents give you intelligence?

Gifted

What do you need if an issue is not black or white?

Grey matter

What did the brain do when its body died?

It joined a think tank

What would make the alphabet excessively intelligent?

Two Ys

Why did the quiz show contestant sit on a whetstone?

To stay sharp

What do you call a Mac with AI?

One smart Apple

What’s the pass grade in astronomy?

A star

What do you call someone who actually makes sense when they talk out of their butt?

A geniarse

What do you call a group of clever men?

Intelligents

What should you do with an unfinished crossword?

Save it for a brainy day

What’s the wisest thing to plant in your garden?

Sage

What do you call a person who’s a fraction smarter than you?

Too clever by half

Funny by Nature

Nature lovers… it’s time to branch out and explore the wild side of humour. Stroll through these naturally funny jokes and prepare to chuckle like a babbling brook.

When does nature bounce back?

Spring

What did the grey rock say to the green rock?

I’m lichen your colour!

What do you get if your feet are stuck in the mud?

A face plant

How should you talk to plants?

With flowery language

What has pincers and grows on trees?

Crabapples

Which tree gets ill most often?

A sycamore

How would dolphins grow on trees?

In a pod

Which tree looks like a genius? (Or you could say an idiot, if you wanted to be mean!)

Yew

Which trees bounce back quickest after a forest fire?

Rubber trees

What do you call a plant growing in your hand?

A palm tree

How do clouds act like royalty?

By raining over the land.

What happens if you put a seed in the barrel of a gun?