Illness and transformation E-Book

Roberto Abheeru Berruti

• Herausgeber: Edizioni del Cigno
• Kategorie: Fachliteratur
• Sprache: Englisch

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2015

Beschreibung

A man goes through the journey of cancer: his real story it’s a shared experience about how to choose to live in truth and honesty. Inspired by life lessons of Claudia Rainville, Richard Bandler, Osho and much more, the holistic therapist Roberto Abheeru Berruti tells us that illness is not a condemnation: it is an opportunity to direct our own person towards a creative life approach and find out that life pulsates strongly into the illness. With simple, powerful and throbbing words, Berruti stimulates the will to heal, first of all as a person: and shares with us several awareness exercises and a practical healing map.

Leseprobe

Illness and transformation

Understanding tumours and their message to move from suffering to joy

Roberto Abheeru Berruti

Edizioni Del Cigno

Illness and transformation

Understanding tumours and their message to move from suffering to joy

Roberto Abheeru Berruti

Translated by Asya Dawn Jaya

ISBN: 9788887062564 (epub) 9788887062571 (azw3-mobi)

Edizioni Del Cigno

Series: Le vie della guarigione / The healing paths - Vol.7

Developed by: Deanna BelloliBusiness and Editorial consultant: Danilo Da Re

Cover image: © Shean Murphy | Getty Image

Cover design: Mirco Camerin

E-book by: Giulia Abbate - studio83.info

2015 © Edizioni del Cigno by Deanna Belloli Peschiera del Garda - VR

edizionidelcigno.it

CONTENTS

Introduction

Terminology

The Exercises

The Basic Recipe

Ingredient Number 1: The Body

Ingredient Number 2: The Will to Change

Reacting and Responding

Ingredient Number 3: Dedicating Time To Yourself

The Environment Around Us

Ingredient Number 4: Loving Yourself

Making Decisions

A New Life: And After I’m Cured…?

A New Recipe

Aknowledgments

Appendix

About the Author

INTRODUCTION

Ciao,

the adventure of reinventing myself as a writer to communicate some of my life experiences started in January 2010 during a three-week intensive hospitalization at the University General Hospital in Verona. I was undergoing chemotherapy trying to heal from Hodgkin’s Disease that had apparently been cured three years previously and was now active once again.

One day in particular while I was writing this book, when the doctors’ reports were making me feel desperate, I suddenly understood that I was writing for myself. I realised that I had never actually done many of the exercises that I was suggesting in my manual, and that some of the words of advice and suggestions I was giving were things that I had never actually experienced.

That same evening I felt an urgent need to re-read what I had written: at that time, I was spending several hours a day writing and I did this by going into a sort of creative trance, at the end of which I hardly remembered anything of what I had put down on paper.

That evening I felt an urgent need to re-read the instructions I had given myself through the manual (had that really been me?). I knew that the answer was in those pages; the sign that indicated the path that led to my healing, and I was honestly scared at the idea of seeing the evidence. Understanding that I was capable of transforming the lymphoma in my body and putting it in to remission also meant understanding that I was the one who had generated it in the first place! The freedom to be healthy and happy was in my hands and that freedom scared me and made me feel insecure. Who was I without that self-destructive mechanism at work? I recognised myself as Roberto, or Abheeru, in an age-old inner battle, regularly hurting himself, regardless of how uncomfortable and un-nurturing it was.

Now, right in front of my eyes I saw a new expression on my face: no more looking tense and suspicious as though I was waiting for some kind of danger (probably of my own making…) but innocent, curious and open to receive life with all its surprises, and ready to welcome them without any further due.

Through my illness I found the opportunity to begin a new life. I felt like a new born child, and I understood that I would have to take care of that baby myself, and carry it around in the world safe in my arms.

This manual tells the story of how, thanks to the illness, I embarked on the road to my personal freedom.

I have decided to leave the writing in its original version, just as it came to me. It describes my journey: it starts from a cold, precise mind full of convictions and passes through suffering; and, driven by my insatiable burning desire to live in complete freedom, leads to a rebirth. I needed to empty myself of the tide of intense emotions and experiences that I was carrying with me from my past, and which I was still hanging on to. I needed to be with myself, to look after and talk to myself. I was my own guide, and through writing I had become my tutor, parent and therapist all at the same time.

In these pages I share my detoxification journey from the mental dependencies that I had nurtured for forty one years, and which had brought me to the peak of my personal mountain of suffering. I believe this book could prove useful to anyone who has lost their “joie de vivre” and is not necessarily only for those who are facing the experience of cancer like me. Incidentally, I must remind you that I am neither a doctor nor a psychologist; I am just a person who has followed a specific path in life and now, in sharing it, finds a meaning to his own existence.

You will notice how initially I use a firmer, more decisive tone in the way I give the instructions; at the beginning of my detoxification journey I had to make a choice, I had to put my back up against the wall and to discipline myself.

One of the main characteristics of addicts is that they become expert at being uncatchable and at slipping away from conscious decisions and responsibilities. I was a master at this “distancing” and the drugs I used to feed my dependence were my mental convictions which I also used to generate my own unhappiness. I myself was a sort of addict and I had to make a huge effort to get out of that state and finally force myself to make some healthy decisions.

Another reason that pushed me to be firmer with myself from the outset was the fact that I unconsciously knew that I was entering an unknown world that scared me and meant that I had to be strong. This is why you will find more exercises to do in the first part of the book; exercises that I myself have had to practice and repeat many times to train myself and strengthen my “inner muscles”, as well as to reinforce my trust in facing up to every aspect of the situation that I was living.

In some places I address “you” (that is me) in a very direct way. I would like to suggest that you filter that cutting attitude that I used and change it to suit your taste. I invite you to appreciate my intention in adopting this approach and try to by-pass any language issues that might arise.

You will later notice how my tone of voice gradually softens: once I had begun the work personally and saw that I was truly committed to the task I was able to become a more kindly tutor, having dismantled the destructive mechanisms and finally entering into the last phase which is loving and creative. My way of communicating becomes almost poetic. The last part is written in real time, almost like a diary, and so, is full of fresh emotions and is less ponderous.

I have deliberately left the discrepancies in style and rhythm in my writings so that my feelings and sensations during the various phases of my healing remain perceptible and tangible to the reader, and also because I believe that they represent the path that many human beings have followed, and will go on following in order to learn how to dance and celebrate life.

The end of this book is there… and yet it isn’t! I know that I’ve attained my goal of eliminating a long series of conflicts and battles from my life; both internal and external. I know that I have learnt how to keep my distance from that infernal machine made up of negative judgements; both directed towards myself and towards others. Substantial transformations have taken place within myself which have opened me up to love, so I can affirm that this manual has worked very well on me, but I can’t say where the end of this book lies as I really do not know. What I do know is that now my life has a wonderful sense of continuity, and I wake up every morning curious and ready to be part of a new day.

I must underline the fact that this book was written and finished before my physical healing process was completed; because of the book I’ve stopped worrying about the lymphoma and I’ve tuned into a new life of harmony, joy and abundance. A new life which I’ve strongly desired; a life that I have been calling out to with the words written in this manual.

Roberto Abheeru Berruti

TERMINOLOGY

I want to point out that some words you will meet frequently in this book may lead to misapprehensions and misunderstandings: terms such as “soul” or “healing” are often used in this New Age, but there can be different interpretations given to them and often depend on the author’s and readers’ educationor spiritual path.

When I use the term “soul” in this manual I am referring to that part of ourselves that lives in our body; that perceives it, observes it and commands it. The part of us that is able to watch our thoughts arriving and disappearing; the part of us that knows how to think knowingly. By “soul” I refer to that which in some traditions is called our “true self” or “spirit”, “the one who inhabits the body”, the dwelling place of silence and of peace. The soul knows how to achieve evolution; therefore we must get in contact with it, in order to find our healing path. Our soul is often limited by education and conditioning, and ends up trapped in a cage of judgements and imposed behaviour; our work is to free it from that imprisoning structure and to listen to its guidelines. Meeting our soul we are at “home”; we generate integrity and harmony.

I use the term “healing” with two meanings: obviously I am referring to the physical healing of your body, but in my experience this is not completely possible without healing that part of ourselves that was sick in the soul as well, which was linked to the disease. Life teaches us how, in many cases people can be suffering from serious pathologies when, all of a sudden, they manage to completely free themselves from the illness. These people tell of how they lived through an experience of deep inner transformation associated with the disappearance of the illness, and of how this transformation in its turn was associated with a moment of great clarity and with a life-changing decision.

In other words, a shift happened in their soul, and they had decided that it was time to change and to replace old and unhealthy attitudes with something new and healthy. These people have come out of an old way of thinking/behaving and have generated a new one.

It has not been scientifically proven, but I am absolutely convinced that the body and the soul always work together as a team, and the healing of one isn’t impossible without also healing the other.

It is important to underline the fact that not every ill person will manage to heal their body, maybe because they don’t have enough time to do so, or maybe it’s just the way things have to go. However, there is no doubt that every ill person has an incredible opportunity, quite apart from the number of days they have left, and that is the chance to go towards their last day living in happiness; free from past burdens, free from the conflicts they carried inside themselves and within their relationships, joyful after having expressed words that for years had never been said.

So first and foremost occupy yourself with the healing of your soul, it will give you a profound sense of wellbeing; a marvellous feeling of interior completeness and peace that the body, if time allows, will follow.

The way I see it, “the healing process” doesn’t depend on the quantity of time you still have left to live, but it is a question of quality time: learning how to enjoy every second of life at your disposal as though it were your very last, is what I mean by true healing.

THE EXERCISES

This book really has the potential for transformation, but it will only work if you do the exercises that you will find at the end of certain chapters.

What I am deliberately striving to make you understand, right from the start, is just how important it is for you to have an active, dynamic and aware attitude towards the way you are living your illness. By “active” I want to remind you that in any physical situation you find yourself in, you can always generate and activate pleasant and positive thoughts and images. By “dynamic” I want to remind you that you have a creative potential at your disposal that you can use to change situations, allowing you to eliminate old counter-productive behaviour in your present everyday life, and to create new ways of being. By “conscious” I mean that you should develop a new, reliable and loving attention towards yourself; an attention that is aimed at improving yourself as a person, an attention motivated by your wish to say “That’s enough!” to some of your old, useless behaviour, focusing your attention on your ability to choose and to decide.

The exercises I suggest you do are aimed at stimulating all three of these aspects: in my own experience I have found that all three of these qualities have to be present at the same time in order to be really effective.

So from this moment on, you should know that if you really want it to be, then your illness or unhappiness can become a great transformative experience and a path to self-consciousness. It also means that if you don’t get down to work in an active, dynamic and conscious way, then most probably the illness itself will become your Calvary.

The choice is yours.

If you choose to carry on reading this book then you should commit right now to this potentially transforming and creative work. The indications in this manual will help you to transform your situation and the quality of your behaviour, and in this sense your participation is fundamental. Remember that doing the exercises is a time of creativity that will be extremely useful to fill in the empty moments you will encounter in your life (especially in the case of an illness),which create anxiety.

I can only give you indications; it’s up to you to use them as best you can.

My advice is that you should read this manual in a quiet context where you can spend time with yourself, without distractions, so that it becomes a ritual; a daily appointment with yourself that you cannot do without.

Get a new exercise book or note pad that you will use exclusively for these exercises and for your notes. In many of the exercises you will find a row of dots like this “…………….” which indicates that you should take the necessary time to feel whatever it is activating inside you: it indicates that the speed of the soul and the body don’t coincide with those of the mind, and that you must allow yourself this pause for the sedimentation process to take place in order for the exercises to take effect.

With time, the state of wellbeing generated by the exercises will radiate out through the system: eventually the techniques won’t be necessary, as they will have become a new and consolidated way of perceiving, feeling, and thinking about yourself; their benefits will start to appear automatically.

THE BASIC RECIPE

This manual is intended to be used in an active and pragmatic way. My intention is to immediately give you a taste of what you yourself are able to generate from a situation that, as in the case of an illness, is usually interpreted in a negative way.

The “Basic Recipe” for healing is made up of four main ingredients:

THE BODY. A conscious connection with your body, which means re-learning to feel your body and following its indications. We were all born fully connected to our bodies, so what we are doing here is reactivating our ability to perceive it, and then consequently, committing ourselves to respecting it.THE WILL TO CHANGE. This refers to your desire to be healed, not to go back to being the person you were before but to be reborn as a new human being. Illness is like a red traffic light, forcing you to stop, and telling you that something in your “house” (your soul-body-mind system) hasn’t been working very well and must be identified and replaced with something new. Your will to change will motivate you to become more aware of yourself and of your actions.DEDICATE TIME TO YOURSELF. The art of observing and dedicating time to yourself must become an absolute priority. You will need this time to watch yourself close up; to explore yourself and to understand where you need to improve (and thus change) your attitude towards yourself. If you seriously dedicate time to yourself, to your body and to your current life situation, then you will learn that one can live any situation with quality and dignity.LOVING YOUR SELF. Respect for yourself as a person: if you concentrate on yourself with all your love, just as though you were caring for one of your children, then you will generate the most powerful medicine in the world; love for oneself. This love for yourself will become the motor empowering your change, helping you to find the strength and the courage to be reborn. That love will make your relationship with yourself incredibly light and wonderful.

Don’t worry for the moment about the meaning of the four ingredients: just worry about memorizing the words, one by one, taking them as though they were mosaic tiles and placing them in your brain, or, if you find it easier then you could learn them systematically just like learning your tables when you were at school; reading and repeating again and again until you’ve learnt them off by heart. It might be useful for you to photocopy the page of the ingredients and pin it up somewhere visible so that you will see and re-read it repeatedly during the day.

You will gradually achieve a true understanding of the ingredients by doing the exercises: like any other transformation, healing happens step by step and while it’s best not to worry too much about the final result, it is crucial that you take the first step…. Don’t try to heal yourself just to survive as it won’t work: your body might get better for a while, but if you weren’t happy before getting ill then you won’t be happy afterwards. Even if your body should improve to some extent, it will probably get ill again.

Try instead to follow what the recipes suggest; you will drastically increase your chances of healing not only the body, but your soul as well, and therefore of finding your own personal recipe for happiness. Then you will truly start living your own life.

Introducing you to the basic recipe at the beginning of this book is a deliberate trick: you will only be able to make those ingredients work through complete application and dedication to your person. You will have to work seriously, being ready to eliminate parts of the person that you thought you were, and to discover new aspects of yourself.

If you think that reading and understanding the ingredients is enough to improve your life situation, realise that you are fooling yourself. If you want to bring your healing mission to a successful conclusion then from this moment onwards you must make a commitment to yourself, and more than anything else, you must stick to it.

This means that from today onwards you must eliminate any kind of complaint from your brain and from your life. So, as a first step along this path, commit yourself to silencing your whining, and every time you find yourself thinking or verbalising a complaint shout a loud:

“Shut up!”

INGREDIENT No 1: The Body

MY BODY AND I

Like many people (especially in the western world) I too forgot that I had a body and what it meant to be aware of it; we don’t normally think: “I have a body at my disposal” and with our “standard” education and conditioning we only talk about the body in scientific-scholastic language. They teach us where the lungs are, what they’re there for and what happens inside them but no one ever teaches us to actually be aware of, and feel them. Just think about the digestive system: anyone with basic schooling can give a general description of the organs and their functions, but how many people are actually fully present in their bodies when they go about nourishing it?