Kiss the Wave E-Book

Dave Furman

• Herausgeber: Crossway
• Kategorie: Religion und Spiritualität
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 235

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2018

Beschreibung

"I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me against the Rock of Ages." What does it mean to "kiss the wave?" These words, attributed to nineteenth-century British preacher Charles Spurgeon, speak to the Christian's only hope for perseverance in suffering. What if we can learn to experience the nearness of God in the midst of suffering? What if God intends to work through our trials rather than simply take them away? After living for more than a decade with a debilitating nerve condition in both arms, Dave Furman shows us that God, in his grace, always designs trials for our good—not minimizing the pain, but infusing significance into our suffering. Furman demonstrates that, even when tossed to and fro by stormy waves, God is near . . . and that makes all the difference in the world.

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“If you want a book that promises you a life of instant healing and happy endings, give this book a miss. You’ll be better off with the many books that specialize in empty promises. But if you want a book that is realistic about years of chronic pain and debilitating depression, yet drives you toward the comforts of Christ and his gospel, read this book. Dave Furman does not provide us with an abstract dissertation; rather, out of his own experience he shows us what it means to kiss the wave that throws you onto the Rock of Ages.”

D. A. Carson, Research Professor of New Testament, Trinity Evangelical Divinity School; Cofounder, The Gospel Coalition

“Dave so gently reminds us that God doesn’t expect us to call the hardest parts of life ‘good,’ but instead desires for us to hold fast to his immeasurable, never-ending goodness in the midst of our suffering.”

Jennie Allen, author, Nothing to Prove; Founder, IF:Gathering

“Kiss the Wave was not simply written by Dave Furman. Dave lives these words. He knows what it is to gasp for air in the churning place where wave smashes stone. With faithful endurance and Scripture-seasoned words, Dave compels us to think of our inevitable suffering theologically, not theoretically. With a courageous heart, he loves his family, serves his flock, and champions the cause of our sovereign God with a vigorous joy that belies his constant chronic pain. Jesus is the hero of his story. Dave Furman is eminently qualified to shepherd us in the matter of suffering, for not only is he a herald of God’s Word, but he is also a man who is learning, over and over, to kiss the wave.”

Colin Buchanan, singer; songwriter

“Dave Furman not only offers a careful exegesis of the Word of God for those who are suffering, but also shares his own story of constant pain and weakness in light of a God who loves. This is not a detached theological examination of suffering in God’s world, but rather the testimony of a man who loves God and desires to live according to God’s call on his life despite being unable to button his own shirt. If you’re suffering, you need to read this book. If you love other sufferers, share it with them.”

Elyse Fitzpatrick, author, Home: How Heaven and the New Earth Satisfy Our Deepest Longings

“This is a remarkable book—searingly honest, genuinely funny, relentlessly grounded, and, above all, saturated with the gospel. Dave Furman has succeeded in equipping us to face the suffering that eventually comes to all of us in a way that flows from who we are in Christ. He has provided us with a rich and moving exposition of what the Christian life looks like in real time. Let me put this simply: read this book!”

Gary Millar, Principal, Queensland Theological College, Australia; author, Calling on the Name of the Lord and Now Choose Life; coauthor, Saving Eutychus

“Dave Furman knows suffering and trials better than most men I know. Suffering and trials are not mere theoretical constructs in his life, but everyday realities that propel him into the arms of a loving Savior. With a pastor’s heart and a fellow sufferer’s empathy, Dave guides us with his characteristic lucidity, warmth, and clear-mindedness. He reminds us that in times of trial and trouble, far from being absent, the Father’s pruning hand is closest to us. Don’t read this book to merely gain knowledge or a quick fix, but to truly understand and live out the psalmist’s cry, ‘It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes.’”

Jonathan Holmes, Pastor of Counseling, Parkside Church; Executive Director, Fieldstone Counseling; Council Member, Biblical Counseling Coalition

“I was deeply encouraged by this book! It is great for anyone, but just right for someone in the midst of suffering. Few can achieve the delicate balance between biblical truth, empathy, and understanding of the struggle, while also pointing toward hope in the Lord. Dave has done this well. His meditations on Scripture comfort and encourage us to see joy in God’s good plans for even the hardest trials of our life. Stories from his personal struggles and those of others add a sense of camaraderie and bring to life the fight for joy in the middle of great trials. A great resource!”

Connie Dever, author, He Will Hold Me Fast; Curriculum and Music Writer, The Praise Factory

Kiss the Wave

Kiss the Wave

Embracing God in Your Trials

Dave Furman

Kiss the Wave: Embracing God in Your Trials

Copyright © 2018 Dave Furman

Published by Crossway1300 Crescent StreetWheaton, Illinois 60187

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher, except as provided for by USA copyright law. Crossway® is a registered trademark in the United States of America.

Published in association with the literary agency of Wolgemuth & Associates, Inc.

Cover design: Tim Green, Faceout Studios

Cover image: Catherine Macbride, Stocksy

Typeset by Inspirio Design

First printing 2018

Printed in the United States of America

Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

All emphases in Scripture quotations have been added by the author.

Trade paperback ISBN: 978-1-4335-5645-6ePub ISBN: 978-1-4335-5648-7PDF ISBN: 978-1-4335-5646-3Mobipocket ISBN: 978-1-4335-5647-0

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Furman, Dave, 1979– author.

Title: Kiss the wave : embracing God in your trials / Dave Furman.

Description: Wheaton : Crossway, 2018. | Includes bibliographical references and index.

Identifiers: LCCN 2017026234 (print) | LCCN 2017047968 (ebook) | ISBN 9781433556463 (pdf) | ISBN 9781433556470 (mobi) | ISBN 9781433556487 (epub) | ISBN 9781433556456 (tp)

Subjects: LCSH: Suffering—Religious aspects—Christianity. | Pain—Religious aspects—Christianity.

Classification: LCC BV4909 (ebook) | LCC BV4909 .F87 2018 (print) | DDC 248.8/6—dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017026234

Crossway is a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

2022-02-21 04:28:30 PM

Contents

Acknowledgments

Introduction

 1  He Can Surf Any Wave

 2  He Is Our Refuge

 3  The Ultimate Rescue Mission

 4  The Greatest Exchange in All of History

 5  God Is Not Dead

 6  Look, I Am Your Father

 7  He Really Knows Every Hair on Your Head

 8  The Waves Have a Glorious Purpose

 9  Weakness Is Always the Way

10  You Are a Part of Christ’s Body

11  The Wave Maker Will Carry You to Shore

12  Extreme Makeover

13  Heaven Is for Real

Conclusion

Appendix: Recommended Resources

Notes

General Index

Scripture Index

To my sister Sarah:

you are my hero.

Acknowledgments

Thank you to all the saints in my life who have embraced God in their trials and pointed me to Christ in their suffering.

Gabe and Monica DeGarmeaux, I am grateful for your friendship. I’ll never forget where I was standing on Capitol Hill when I received the news that tragedy had struck your family. My heart ached that day and still hurts when I remember you and pray for you. This book is what I have seen you live out every day. You have embraced God in your trials, and your faith has impacted me in a million ways. I wish I could list each one here. Thank you, dear friends.

Larry and Mary Waters, your perseverance encourages me deeply. Thanks for fighting for joy through headaches (literal and spiritual). You have suffered much, and yet you always look to Jesus as your comfort. Your example of lifelong ministry in the Philippines, your challenge to us to press on in seminary, your excitement for our ministry, and your support along the way have kept us going.

Ron and Kim, I admire you. You never quit. Through debilitating back pain and disability, job struggles, and children moving halfway around the world, you have continued to treasure Christ. It is no overstatement to say that my family is still overseas because of your faithful friendship to us in our trials. You have no idea how much you have inspired us in the midst of your trials, too.

Andy Domondon, I look up to you. Your steadfast faith in pain and grief is a reminder that God does indeed work all things together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose. I’ll always be encouraged by your strength, which could come only from our God.

Kevin and Leslie Cathey, these last few years you have been an oasis of encouragement to our desert family in a number of ways. There have been moments filled with unknowns for us and you have helped us, prayed for us, supported us, and partnered with us in ways we would never have dreamed of. Thanks for helping us embrace God in our trials.

Sarah, I love you, Sis. You never cease to amaze me. The grace God has shown you through the darkest nights of the soul is brilliantly evident. You are gracious and forgiving, and have looked to God for solace in your pain. You have pointed me to Christ on too many occasions to count.

Redeemer Church of Dubai, thanks for your loving support. There has never been a day when I strive to care for the flock that I don’t also feel cared for by the flock. You are a joy to me!

John Dyer, how could I ever write a book without your encouragement and keen eye along the way? Your friendship for over two decades has blessed me in countless ways. Thanks for first sharing the good news of the gospel with me back when we were teenagers and for pointing me to the cross every time we’re together.

Darren Carlson, I suppose I should thank you for leading “the worst mission trip in the history of the world” out to our neck of the desert. Gloria and I drove through barren lands to meet you, and you introduced us to a guy who knew another guy and the rest is history. Many articles and books could be traced back to you and the bad homemade pizza we ate that day. Thanks, brother.

Andrew Wolgemuth, thanks for your partnership with our family in writing books to the glory of God. Your work behind the scenes has been nothing short of fantastic. Your representation, advice, prayer, and ninja-like editing skills should have earned your name a place on the front cover of this book. Thank you!

Jon Pentecost, your editing skills are second to none. Thanks for the hours you spent making sure I didn’t say anything theologically careless or unclear. Your help was priceless.

Jonathan Holmes, thanks for reading the manuscript and uplifting my weary soul with your kind words.

Scott and Angela Zeller, it’s now my second writing project where your fingerprints can be felt on every page of the manuscript. Thank you for your help, but more so for your support and friendship.

Mom and Dad, thank you for your encouragement over the years. I love you very much.

And to Crossway, wow, you all are amazing. Thank you for everything. Lane and Ebeth Dennis, thanks for your leadership. And to Justin Taylor, Dave DeWit, Amy Kruis, Sarah Trask, Darcy Difino, Jon Marshall, Tim Kellner, Andrew Tebbe, Lauren Harvey, Matt Tully, Clair Kassebaum, Josh Dennis, and Claire Cook, thanks for believing in this project and for your encouragement.

Tara Davis, this is our second book together, and I think I can say with all honesty once again that a better editor does not exist!

Gloria, I love you, Sweetheart. This book would not have happened without you. To be honest, my life would be in shambles without you. My trials have been our trials—thanks for embracing God in them and for pointing me to Jesus.

Aliza, Norah Claire, Judson, and Troy, I am in awe of you, my princesses and princes. Your love for me in the midst of the storms of life never ceases. Thanks for loving me on the bad days and the good days all the same. I can’t believe we get to walk through life together.

Introduction

The community was abuzz as our neighbors prepared for the big religious holiday. Everyone on our street was in a good mood and extra cheerful, but I had no desire to leave our house and interact with anyone.1

It was difficult to go anywhere with the nerve spasms radiating through my arms. When our family left the house to run errands, my agony only intensified. We provided quite a scene for our neighbors to observe through their upstairs windows. First, my wife, Gloria, buckled our daughter into her car seat, and then she came over to the other side of the vehicle to help me. She opened my door, waited until I sat down, reached over and buckled my seat belt, closed my door, walked through the yard and opened the gate, drove the car out of the driveway, got out and closed the gate, and then returned to the car and drove us away.

Then, when we returned home, we repeated the scene in reverse. But this time, my wife carried all of the groceries—in addition to the baby—into our home. Did I mention she was also pregnant?

We came to the village intending to change the world for Jesus, but I couldn’t even change my jeans without help. My nerve ailment had come back, and it was nastier than ever. I was depressed, incorrigible, and seething with anger toward God, my wife, and everyone around me.

Four months prior to our arrival in the Middle East, I’d had extensive surgery. Both my arms were operated on at the same time, and the recovery was traumatic. Years previously, I had developed a neurological disorder, lost almost all my arm strength, and suffered constant burning sensations in both arms. After a couple of years of deteriorating strength I was now disabled. I could barely use my arms. We had tried just about every other treatment option, so we were hopeful surgery would finally provide healing.

My health improved after the procedure, and my strength increased with physical therapy, so we went forward with our plans to move overseas. We were eager to start church planting work, and we hoped I would finally have the “normal,” healthy body I remembered and was now dreaming of.

Then, in one moment, everything fell apart. I had dropped Gloria off at the supermarket but could not find a parking space. I drove up and down the parking lot aisles, waiting until she was done shopping. As I made a left turn, I felt a sharp burning pain in both of my arms. I instantly lost all strength. Tears flooded my face—the soreness was back. Not only had my pain returned, but it was worse than before. I lost all dexterity in my hands and developed boil-like wounds on my fingers. I couldn’t stand to touch anything. I was on high-dosage medications for my nerve pain and for anxiety and depression. At one point, when I ran out of the depression medication and could not refill it in our new country, I felt like I was losing my mind. I paced up and down the length of our bedroom most nights as I yelled at myself and to myself.

I tried reading Christian books, but none of them performed the magic trick of emotional transformation I hoped for. We watched all nine seasons of a celebrated sitcom in an attempt to cheer up, but it was all to no avail.

I wanted to die.

That was ten years ago. Fast forward to today, and I wish my story had a happy ending to share with you, but it doesn’t. At least not the way most people describe as “happy.” I am not physically healed. Although I have reasonable control over my arms and hands, I am still disabled. I can’t drive, shake hands, pick up my children, open most doors, put on my seatbelt, flush the toilet, turn a key, do most household chores, change a diaper, or lift more than a couple pounds. My arms hurt all the time. I live with the burning pain from my elbows down to my forearms twenty-four hours a day. Sometimes I feel like ripping my arms off my body (though I often chuckle that I don’t actually have the strength to carry out that task). I am even developing a new tingling sensation and weakness in my legs. Throughout this journey I have struggled greatly with depression, and some days life seems completely hopeless.

But something in my life did change. About two months away from starting a new church, I began to see the sun peering out from the clouds of depression. Our friends Brady and Amber graciously and gently rebuked me for being a self-centered and hurtful husband. I was also convicted of my own hypocrisy as a man who was about to preach to others when I was not living a life of grace myself.

The most vital change was a rediscovery of God and his gospel. All three of these things happened at about the same time, and for the first time in a couple of years the darkness started lifting. It did not totally disappear, but I saw the light of Christ once more. I again hoped in God. I began embracing my trials as something God meant for my good and his glory. I found hope again in the one God of the universe. The Lord began to teach me what the late British preacher Charles Haddon Spurgeon meant when he said that trials teach hard lessons.

Spurgeon struggled greatly with depression throughout his life and ministry. At the age of twenty-two, seven people died in a stampede during one of his sermons after someone in the crowd yelled, “Fire!” He never got over that night. He also faced intense public slander during his ministry. His wife, Susannah, was an invalid from her early thirties and could rarely attend church gatherings to hear her husband teach God’s Word. Physical affliction also marked Spurgeon’s own life as he struggled with intense and agonizing seasons of gout. His body ached continuously from rheumatism and inflamed kidneys. Due to these sicknesses, he was out of his church’s pulpit about a third of the time, and the dark clouds of depression often hung over him. He once wrote about his depression, “My spirits were sunken so low that I could weep by the hour like a child, and yet I knew not what I wept for.”2 All this continued until God finally took him home at the age of fifty-seven.

How did Spurgeon persevere through his trials? A clue is found in a quote often attributed to him: “I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me against the Rock of Ages.”3 What does it mean to “kiss the wave”?

When I am in the midst of suffering, I am doing my best just to keep my head above water as the stormy waves of suffering crash over me. I have often longed to be lifted out of the rough and dark waters that feel as if they are engulfing me. I have spent many long nights despising those waves. I have never thought about kissing them.

I don’t think Spurgeon gives us trite advice, pretending as if suffering is not difficult. I also don’t think he is telling us to act as if our situations are easy: Just try harder and kiss those waves. No, Spurgeon tells us that God is doing more in our suffering than we can see with our eyes. None of us enjoys adversity. We want out, and yet God in his grace uses suffering for our benefit.

Spurgeon has good advice for us. Stop flailing your arms in panic and embrace the God who has sovereignly designed your circumstances. Kiss the wave. In the midst of the storm, God has your good and his glory in mind. Romans 8:28 is not just a verse for a Christian greeting card, but one we should have branded on our hearts: “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

Hardship, sorrow, disability, persecution, and death are not good in themselves. But God in his grace uses them for our good and his glory. The nearness of God awakens us to him in our trials and draws us toward his grace. It is in these times when we need to follow Milton Vincent’s counsel and stop trusting in our everchanging circumstances to bring us joy, and instead rest in the one great, permanent circumstance given to us in Christ and the gospel.4Jesus, God in the flesh, came to us and died on the cross, taking the ultimate wave of death and judgment upon himself so that we could be lifted up to everlasting life. Can the waves of trials drown us when we have a Savior who endured the greatest trial in our place?

The truth is, none of us is immune from suffering. If we are not currently experiencing the effects of a broken world, we will. The band R.E.M put it well when they sang, “Everybody hurts sometimes.”5 While those words may not bring us much comfort, they speak truth. Tim Keller writes:

No matter what precautions we take, no matter how well we have put together a good life, no matter how hard we have worked to be healthy, wealthy, comfortable with friends and family, and successful with our career—something will inevitably ruin it.6

Maybe you’re going through a great trial right now.

You are depressed and can’t see a way out of your despair.You are disabled, and your pain and handicap are too much to accept. You don’t know if you can go on much longer.You had a miscarriage, and you are heartbroken that you might never have biological children.You were physically or sexually abused as a child and live every day in the haunting memory of what happened to you.You are facing weeks of chemotherapy, and you don’t know if you can find the strength to make it to the hospital another day.You lost a loved one and miss him or her dearly.You hate your life. Your marriage stinks. You despise your job, and you wish everything about your life would change.

Friend, there is no guarantee that anything you can do will bring happiness or relief. No mathematical equation provides the exact roadmap or recipe to make you feel better. There is no special button to push that guarantees your life will turn around. But there is hope in who God is and what he has done for Christians through Christ. If you are a believer in Christ, you enjoy several realities in this present life and for eternity that are both startling and wonderful. In the pages ahead, my goal is not to give you trite advice or appeal to your emotions as a way of finding joy. We don’t “feel better” by trying harder or distracting ourselves. We don’t lift ourselves out of the pit through positive thinking. Instead I can think of no better way forward than to point you to the greatness of our God and all that he has done for us in Christ Jesus. It’s only when we take our eyes off of ourselves and our circumstances and we gaze upon him and his work that we can keep our heads above water when the high tide of our trials comes our way. My prayer for this book is that it will lead you to the source of all hope. I pray that in your pain, you would not despair but would embrace God in the midst of your suffering.

If you feel like you can’t take another day in your suffering, the Rock of Ages is with you, and he is faithful. You may not be able to kiss the wave now, but this wave can take you on into a deeper, joyous walk with him.

Reading this book is not a magic formula to give you joy. But God can use these truths to lift the floodgates of your heart so his joy can fill you to overflowing.

1

He Can Surf Any Wave

One April evening in 2006, a group of university students and administrators were driving on a highway when a tractor trailer crossed the median, slammed into their van, killed five of the passengers, and left one seriously injured and in a coma.

It was stunning, tragic news for Whitney Cerak’s family, and they were devastated upon hearing that their daughter was among those killed in the wreck. They couldn’t bear to look at her body. The funeral was a closed-casket ceremony that drew well over a thousand people. Friends and family came from all over to mourn this young woman’s death.

The family of Laura van Ryn, another student in the van, were thrilled that their daughter survived the crash, and they rushed to the hospital to be with her. She was in a coma, but they stood by her for weeks, praying she would wake up and talk to them once again. Then the miracle happened. Laura woke up and made some small steps to recovery that her parents documented on a website. One day Laura fed herself applesauce and played a game of Connect Four. She was becoming more alert.

But as time went on, the van Ryn family became concerned. Some things seemed to come back to Laura, but other comments the family made didn’t make much sense to her. Then one day, Laura was told to write her name on a piece of paper. To everyone’s shock, the young lady in the hospital bed wrote the name “Whitney Cerak.”

Laura van Ryn and Whitney Cerak looked remarkably alike. They had similar builds, facial features, and straight blond hair, and the injuries their bodies sustained in the accident made it difficult to tell the two girls apart. In the hours after the highway collision, the coroner confused the girl who had died with the one who had lived.

This scene is almost too surreal to imagine. Whitney’s family had even visited with the van Ryn family at the hospital, not knowing that they were looking at their own daughter covered in IVs and tubes. They were right there in her presence, staring her in the eyes, but they didn’t know it was their sweet daughter Whitney! When they finally learned the truth, they were shocked that they had been with their own daughter and not known it.

So many emotions go through my heart when I think about this incident (including deep sadness for the van Ryns). If only Whitney’s family had known she was alive, they would have had peace in their distress. If only they had recognized their daughter as they stared at her in the hospital, their sadness would have turned into gladness. If only they had known it was her. It was a grave case of mistaken identity.1

The Disciples Didn’t SeeJesus

The disciples also faced a case of mistaken identity that brought them much grief. They could not grasp the identity of Jesus as the sovereign ruler of the universe. Throughout the Gospel of Mark, they don’t seem to understand that Jesus is the King of the world. He is the one who holds the whole cosmos in his hands. Their failure to accurately identify Jesus