Listen to us at last! E-Book

Natalie Christine Walther

• Herausgeber: BoD - Books on Demand
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Deutsch

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2025

Beschreibung

What remains when the space for our children becomes increasingly limited and creativity, curiosity, and playful learning no longer have a place? When Artificial Intelligence is suddenly supposed to be our future? This book is a passionate plea for all children. It makes the silent cries for help of our children and adolescents audible, who struggle daily with physical and mental challenges. In 37 works - from conception to 18 years, from desire for children, birth, or adoption to topics such as school, neurodermatitis, ADHD, autism, depression, vaccinations, or ChatGPT - a deep look behind the scenes is taken. This book is also addressed to all those who are searching for the causes of their own childhood wounds and want to understand how we can together create a worthwhile future with our children.

Leseprobe

I SAY THANK YOU FROM MY HEART

To all the wonderful women and men who supported me in the creation of this book. To those who felt called by my request and regularly attended the group evenings. I thank you for the laughter, the amazement, and the valuable exchange. My thanks go to all who exposed their innermost selves and courageously shared their stories publicly. I know all too well how much courage it takes to see one's own process published in a book. A very special thanks goes to the mothers, because it is truly not easy to face the truths of one's own children. I also thank all the seekers, researchers, helpers, and healers who accompany other people daily and have the courage to repeatedly look deep into their own biography and the abysses of their selves. These abilities and gifts are rare, yet I am convinced that they will form the foundation for personal and collective growth of humanity in the future.

About me

Natalie Christine Walther, born in 1970 in Traunstein, Germany, with roots from Greece and Croatia, holding a degree in Business Administration and residing near Munich. My two children were the catalyst for my own deep self-development 23 years ago. After further education in Identity-oriented Psychotrauma Theory with and according to Prof. Dr. Franz Ruppert (IoPT) and Dreamwork with and according to Ortrud Grön (TAOG), I am now able to reveal the deepest causes and buried truths from every aspect of life, spanning across generations. May we no longer live in lies and denial, but in love for our inherent truth, love, authenticity, and joy of life.

»The Little Prince«by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1900 – 1944)

»Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.«

»ON CHILDREN«

by Khalil Gibran (1883 – 1931)

from the book »The Prophet«

»Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters

of Life’s longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

and though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love

but not your thoughts,

for they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies

but not their souls,

for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,

which you cannot visit,

not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them,

but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward

nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children

as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,

and He bends you with His might that

His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer’s hand

be for gladness;

for even as He loves the arrow that flies,

so He loves also the bow that is stable.«

CONTENT

1. Introduction

1.1. Preface

1.2. Method and Procedure

1.3. How Childhood Influences our Entire life

2. Pregnancy and Birth

2.1. Desire to have children

2.2. Conception

2.3. Artificial Insemination (IVF)

2.4. Smoking

2.5. Breech Birth

2.6. C-Section

2.7. Natural Birth

2.8. Breastfeeding (Self)

2.9. Breastfeeding (General)

2.10. Curse

3. Family

3.1. Adoption

3.2. Divorce

3.3. Split Off

4. Childcare and Support Facility

4.1. Day Care Center

4.2. Day Care Center in der GDR

4.3. Kindergarten

4.4. School (Voice of the book)

4.5. School Support

4.6. System Disruptor

4.7. Children’s Home and Youth Welfare Office

5. Body

5.1. Rape – And it happens every day

5.2. Neurodermatitis

5.3. Wetting

5.4. Tonsils

5.5. Bruxism (teeth grinding)

5.6. Menstrual cramps

5.7. Anorexia

5.8. Obesity

5.9. Allergy

5.10. Vaccination

6. Psyche and Sleep

6.1. Depression

6.2. ADHD

6.3. Asperger‘s

6.4. Autism

6.5. Nightmares

6.6. Child and Adolescent Psychologist

7. Technology

7.1. Artificial Intelligence and ChatGPT

8. A Rage Letter

Appendix

Book Index

1. INTRODUCTION

1.1 PREFACE

We don't know each other and that's why I want to warn you in advance: This book is not intended for the inexperienced or for people who are easily triggered. It is also not meant for people who are not interested in causes or think that children today are too spoiled, teenagers too lethargic, parents should toughen up their children, or that medication can solve many problems. If you find yourself getting annoyed maybe already with the first chapter that you bought this book, then pause. Take a deep breath and ask yourself: Why did I buy this book? Does the topic maybe relate to my own biography? How did I actually feel as a child at the age of two or five? Can I even remember my childhood?

I am a mother of two children, but even before their birth, it was clear to me: Every child is right, every child is wonderful. Every child is full of love, joy, equipped with an incredible potential for capacity to love, curiosity, and a sense of adventure. Today, I know: Every child is a miracle; from the very beginning. It is primarily the parents' responsibility to protect, love, and provide a safe haven for this miracle. For me, there is no greater task on this planet than being a mother and loving and supporting my two children.

From the moment they were born, I asked myself: The minor and major illnesses and emotions? What am I not seeing? Where am I heading in the wrong direction? What do I need to change about myself? And so began my journey to the center of my self, a journey of deep self-development. A journey that increasingly merged from a pure internal view with the world around me. Even though I have integrated many aspects of my inner child and continue to work on them, it was only through my book that I began to delve deeper into the question of what children truly reflect back to us.

The idea for this book has many roots, but everything started in 2020, four years ago. A time when many fears were activated by the Corona pandemic, leading to significant changes that also had a massive impact on my fledgling self-employment. Feeling lost, I asked for help from an energy healer for the first time in my life. During the reading, she drew the card of children three times. She told me that it would be part of my life's work to help children, teach them, and guide them. Me? The one who took two decades to even begin to unravel all the entanglements and deepest wounds of my childhood? The one who had to sift through family stories from three countries – Greece, Croatia, and Germany? Me, who tries to be truly a mother to my own children, but is plagued time and again by feelings of guilt and inadequacy? She said that childhood traumas are often not talked about, that it is a taboo subject, and that people are therefore very closed off. It is a nagging problem, but it frightens people. Because trauma, family burdens, and karma converge and weigh heavily on the children.

Almost at the same time, I began working as a family coordinator and school assistant. I was with families seeking help from the youth welfare office and thus gained insight into massive marital problems, saw the effects of divorce, the helplessness of the children, the overwhelming nature of the parents, and a school onto which so many unresolved conflicts were projected. I had many challenging conversations with mothers and fathers, experts, and institutions. I also tried to explain the extent of the suffering, to show the catastrophic effects of the lockdowns on children and teenagers in my circle of acquaintances and friends. Now, I was an experienced conversationalist, but time and again I encountered a wall of lack of empathy, disbelief, or avoidance. Even though I had delved deep into my own psyche, had countless experiences in groups both nationally and globally, and therefore always spoke from practical knowledge and experience, pointing to causes and reasons – the ears and hearts of most people remained closed. I simply could not articulate my experiences in a way that could be received without fear or resentment. The people around me preferred to look away, point fingers at me, or immerse themselves in proxy issues and conflicts. How often had I been angry and hurt because of this. I was also angry because I had to realize how little courage and how much more stupidity existed around me. I was also angry at the parents who did not want to take responsibility and unconsciously – and alarmingly often consciously – projected and transferred their issues onto the children. Corona literally put the icing on the cake.

All this frustration within me was the spark that ignited this book. Without thinking twice, it was clear to me that I would turn it into a research project. A project in which I wanted to involve the entire German- and English-speaking IoPT1 community. It was important to me to really illuminate all the thematic blocks – from conception, pregnancy, birth, the first three years of life, until reaching adulthood at 18 years old. So, I announced my plan and offered open evenings. About twice a month for 1 ½ years, we met online in small groups. Eventually, nearly 40 themes and 400 pages of notes came together.

And that's how this book came to be. An unusual book. A book that gives you the opportunity to look directly into the souls of children. It is a book that will take you on a journey through the earliest origins of human development. It is a book that will even take you further into the past, on a journey through generations of family secrets. It questions the origins of institutions and technological inventions. Above all, it has become a book that candidly speaks the truth, making the deepest wounds and pains visible. And at the same time, it shows what a miracle life is, what wisdom and intelligence children bring from conception, and how a different future could look.

I know that all of this sounds very strange. Don't you need a machine for time travel? How can events from the distant past be stored or retrieved when they are long lost and forgotten? Oh no. That is not correct. Time travel is actually possible and it does not require machines, technology, science, or technical expertise. For this journey, all you need is yourself. You are the miracle that makes all of this possible. The only things you need are perseverance, a spirit of inquiry, a lot of courage, and love for yourself and for children. I am speaking from my own experience. If I hadn't experienced all of this myself, I wouldn't be able to believe some of the statements and conversations. Indeed, I would even consider them impossible. But as is the case in life: When one experiences it firsthand, everything changes.

Never would I have thought or dreamt of what would be revealed in these works. It's not that I don't know how it feels to not be wanted, not loved, not seen, to have no voice, and have to fight too often for one's own life. I am all too familiar with the burden passed down through generations onto a child. However, all my personal and practical experiences could only prepare me for what I saw, heard, felt, and learned during my book project. The sheer magnitude of how little we actually know about children, childhood, and being human. In my naivety and idealism – yes, I still dream of unicorns on rainbows... really! – I actually thought the works would bring some additional aspects to light, but overall round up or summarize my previous experiences. Instead, what was revealed was an unforeseen extent of relational disconnect, attachment and loss trauma, lack of contact, familial and institutionalized violence that not only continues to affect countless lives to this day, but is also very much present and active, influencing our future.

So, this book has become what it likely aims to be: a book that reveals the needs, emotions, wounds, and traumas of our children and adolescents with depth and clarity, not holding back. It has become a book that raises many questions and provides answers at the same time. It has become a book that not only points out the wound but also offers healing. Disillusionment and possibility, chaos and new creation, trauma and self-awareness – to finally uncover ancient patterns so they can be healed. Because only truth heals.

I am aware that by writing this book (and the others that will follow on this topic), I am making myself vulnerable to public criticism. Especially because I also publish my own works. »Who does she think she is? What does she know or understand? This is not a scientific method or therapeutic approach! It's different for us; our children don't have these problems. It's good that they are in therapy and taking medication.« But I will not stop the process that began within me some years ago. Even though I am often unsure and constantly question myself. The time has come for us to decide and take responsibility. For our inner child (and trust me, there are many inner child parts that want to find a home within us!), for the next generations (related to the topic of a healthy generational contract), for a partnership on equal footing and in appreciation, and for coexisting on this wonderful earth. I didn't bring my children into this world to be sacrificed in the next war.

I hope that with my book I can contribute to a life-affirming, peaceful coexistence. The key to this is self-awareness, authenticity, and love. Only when each individual confronts their own issues with dignity and respect, courage and willingness, women and men, mothers and fathers, alone and together – and if we manage to finally speak openly about it, something new can emerge. First within us, then in families, in groups, and hopefully in the entire human family (one is still allowed to dream big).

I cordially invite you to join me on this journey into the innermost depths of children's souls. I promise you that none of the topics in this book will leave you untouched. And perhaps, just perhaps, you will see your children or the children around you in a slightly different light. Maybe you will even have the courage to lighten their load a bit. Whether you are a mother or father, sister or brother, aunt, uncle, grandmother, or grandfather. Open your hearts. The children will thank you.

Natalie Christine Walther Fürstenfeldbruck, October 2024

1.2 METHODS AND PROCEDURES

»If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.« Nikola Tesla (1856 – 1943) Electrical engineer and visionary inventor

My research for this book was based on the Identity-oriented Psychotrauma Theory (IoPT) according to Professor Dr. Franz Ruppert from Munich, Germany. For those who want to learn more, I refer them to his numerous books. The method for processing deep-seated traumas is called the »Intention Method« by him . It served as a model for all group work.

Decades of practical experience

I myself have decades of personal experience with the method and approach, and since my formation, I also have experience in the theory. I would like to say in advance that I did not strictly adhere to the methodology of Professor Dr. Franz Ruppert. On the one hand, I am my own person, and on the other hand, I followed my intuition during each work. Some might therefore consider it unorthodox or creative, but it was and is important to me to remain authentic, to follow my gut feeling, and not to impose any limitations on myself and my work. Furthermore, it was important to me during the general-encounters to dive into the deeper layers of inner and collective truths in order to be able to show as many different perspectives as possible in a single work. And since the general-encounters – unlike the self-encounters – are still a young field, there is still much to discover and explore.

Self-Encounter and Generic-Encounter

Self-encounter refers to one's own personal work. This term is part of the IoPT vocabulary and, in my opinion, expresses the essence and goal very well. Even though in »classical self-encounter« the focus is on trauma, at least for me, the work has actually evolved more into a »self-encounter«. It is an encounter with oneself and one's own parts. Each person who wants to have a self-encounter chooses their intention and also selects the participants who resonate with every single word of the intention. This means there is no intervention.

Every single piece of information is stored in the cells of our body. We vibrate at a certain frequency and, like a radio, can tune into or resonate with the frequencies of other people. This allows us to access all experiences, wounds, and traumas that lie behind a word or intention. An incredible experience for anyone who has practically gone through it. It is eye-opening, painful, surprising, and in all the truth of brutal honesty and beauty.

However, if one were to consider a general topic from a neutral perspective, that is, not from a personal one, then I have simply called the work »general-encounter«. The wonder within us not only allows us to resonate with ourselves or for others but also with any given topic. Whether it's an idea, an institution, a technology, and much more.

I would like to tell you about a beautiful image experienced during a session in which she wanted to connect with her inner child aspects. The image that emerged was that of a tree. Although this session was not part of this research project, its content speaks of timeless truth and beauty, so I would like to dedicate a special place to it in my book:

»I am the tree. Like a May-tree, I was sawn off, painted and set up.2 Literally and metaphorically. Because that's what happens when we are deeply hurt as children.

Though a part of us still remains in life, symbolized by the trunk, the vibrancy of the original tree - as one envisions when nesting in the mother's womb - is no longer there. All the other parts (severed and fallen leaves) lie scattered on the ground; sometimes closer, sometimes further away, and they are now just a shadow of the original. These are the countless child parts at various stages of age. Each with its own unique emotions, desires, and needs. But is there still hope for me? Yes. Every inner change, every realization, every desire to retrieve, every inner welcome, every honest feeling for oneself and these inner child parts make me alive again. There are countless scattered child parts like the leaves of a tree in autumn.«

Intention Method

The goal or also the intention is the prerequisite for every self-encounter or general-encounter. The more concrete the intention, the more concrete the answers as well. The longer and more mixed the intention is, and the less heart or interest in the work there is, the more confused the result will be.

There are many ways to formulate one's intention: It can be a sentence, a question or, for example, a dream. In brevity, there really is power. Practice has shown that the number 3 is a good fit. This means choosing a maximum of three words for an intention.

In general encounters, I was more flexible regarding the number of words. The intention depended on the number of participants; it was important to me that each participant should have the opportunity to resonate. I usually chose the intention. It was important to me to sometimes (but not always) include technical terms of a diagnosis or illness in the purpose. For example, ADHD or depression. Because in every symptomatology, illness, or diagnosis, a multitude of important information is already contained, which I wanted to make visible. And I wanted to give not only the children but also these words a space.

Group Participants

The groups started in late 2022 and took place online via Zoom, first in English and from the end of November 2023 also in German. The groups consisted of a maximum of six participants, with women in the majority.

Profile of the Participants

Age: between 30 years and the end of 60

Gender: female and male

More than 10 countries of origin: Germany, Austria, Great Britain, Isle of Man, Ireland, Poland, Croatia, Romania, Bulgaria, the Netherlands, Greece, Iran, Brazil and China.

Some have their roots in these countries, but were born elsewhere because their parents had emigrated. Some were still very young when their parents left with them their home country. Some had two or three different cultural backgrounds.

All participants came from the narrow or wider field of the IoPT community and were therefore familiar with the method through their own work.

With a few exceptions, no participant knew the previous history of the intention holder during the self-encounters. There was no information or very little information shared in advance.

All sessions were recorded and transcribed by me. I have made very few changes, shortened, or summarized in order not to disrupt the flow. As a result, the written text may seem a bit clunky at times. However, it is more important to me to preserve the original essence of the work. This also applies to the translation from English to German or German to English. Because this book will be published in both languages.

Topics

Before starting the group work, I made a list of topics and divided them into five categories.

Conception,

pregnancy,

birth,

the first 3 years,

from 4 to 18 years of age.

In doing so, I wanted to achieve a balance of themes across all five categories. Over time, some topics have changed or new ones were added.

Results

I would like to emphasize that a single work can never fully depict the complete picture of a topic, but only ever a fragment, an approximation of a topic. There is no singular, universally valid truth. There is also no right or wrong. Like a puzzle with billions of pieces, each work reveals further aspects and clarifies perspectives.

Moreover, every resonance is dependent on the personality, biography, and inner development of both the presenter of the intention and the recipient of the resonance. Therefore, the results provide a good overview but can never be taken as a blueprint for another person or topic. Nevertheless, it is always astonishing to see how much truth each work holds and how the »right« individuals come together for a given topic.

1.3 HOW CHILDHOOD INFLUENCES OUR ENTIRE LIFE

Relationship patterns, behaviors, beliefs, fears, blockages and much more – the time of childhood influences our lives from the beginning to our end.

For example, very few people think about how they were conceived. Yet, even here, there is a wealth of themes and clues. With these few questions, I want to show how much one must already absorb and process in the first nine to ten months. How much joy and love, but also suffering, violence, and traumas a person can experience early on.

Was it a planned pregnancy?

What was the connection between mother and father and their own parents?

Was the conception under the influence of violence, alcohol or drugs?

Was there incest and rape?

Were there any previous miscarriages or deceased children?

How long did the parents know each other? Were they married?

Did they love each other or was the connection more rational, politically motivated or socially opportune?

How old were the parents? What was the age difference?

Did any of the parents have a family and children before?

Was the conception in a country other than the birth?

Did the parents come from different countries? From a particular population group?

What was the financial situation? The religious views?

Do egg and sperm cells come from mother and father or from artificial insemination or surrogate mother or sperm donor?

And how safe was the environment, the place, the land?

During the nine months of pregnancy, further questions are asked:

How did the mother feel with the life she was carrying?

How was the contact with the biological father?

Did the parents argue a lot?

Was the mother under stress, for example because a house was built, the financial resources were scarce, she had no support before her or the family of the man?

Did she have to work physically hard, as is often the case in agriculture?

Was she satisfied that her body became more and more round and soft?

What pregnancy tests were there?

Were there any problems such as diabetes, thrombosis or even a fallopian tube pregnancy?

Did one have to take medication?

Did the cervix open before birth?

And then the birth itself:

What was the birth of one’s own parents like?

How did the mother prepare for childbirth?

Was there an interaction between mother and child?

How was the father doing?

Were fears rising, feelings of loneliness, abandonment?

Where was birth taking place? In a loving or rather sterile environment? Secretly on a toilet or even on the run?

Were there any complications?

What was the reaction of the doctors and midwife?

Was it a natural birth or was untied by caesarean section or suction cup?

Was one disappointed that it became »only a girl« or »only a boy«?

The research of the last 100 years – especially in the prenatal and perinatal areas – has brought to light countless new knowledge and many connections. In recent decades, the link between trauma and psychological and physical symptoms has increasingly come into focus. In this chapter, I would like to highlight certain stages of life and quote individuals who have made outstanding contributions in their respective fields. I am aware that my selection reflects only a tiny fraction of the findings, but I hope it can help you better contextualize the main part of this book.

The Beginning

In a well-read article by Dr. Jürgen Wettig, Senior Hospital Physician for Neurology, Psychiatry and Psychotherapy, published in 2006 in the German Medical Journal, is right at the beginning:3

»The well-known psychologist Paul Watzlawick once expressed: “One cannot be careful enough in the choice of one's parents.” This statement describes the enormous formative responsibility of the closest caregivers in early childhood. Even the moment of conception is subject to vastly different circumstances. Is it a planned child, a “surprise”, or even the result of sexual violence? On the other hand, pregnancy is sometimes used as a last resort to salvage fragile relationships. Thus, “meaning of life children, marriage glue children, or gender role defining children” serve as commodities, where nothing is left to chance in their production.

The demographic crisis portrays children as a humane resource and contributors to social systems. In contrast, newborns found in dumpsters, the establishment of baby hatches in charitable institutions, or signs of physical abuse indicate childhood disasters that occur before childhood has truly begun. (...)

Is the father strict and pedantic, physically ill, addicted to alcohol or violent? Is the mother depressed, religious, ambitious or chronically overwhelmed? Does the parents' divorce create a sharp divide in a conflict-ridden family environment, demanding unreasonable partiality from the child? Is sibling rivalry fueled carelessly through unequal attention until it leads to destructive hatred? In the family, is there shared conversation, meals, arguments, play, and laughter, or does a spirit of strict rituals, cold distance, and aseptic cleanliness prevail, devoid of spontaneity?

The unequal and random rules of childhood can be endless. Nowadays, children are often faced with urbanization and traffic. Play spaces and open areas are becoming increasingly scarce. This results in a retreat to indoor spaces and media worlds, leading to delayed motor skills and obesity.

From birth, humans have a biological need for bonding. Attachment means a long-lasting emotional bond with very specific individuals who are not arbitrarily interchangeable.«

A study from Harvard, published in July 2010, shows that serious effects on the body, health and brain structure begin much earlier:

»Health in the earliest years – actually beginning with the future mother’s health before she becomes pregnant – lays the groundwork for a lifetime of well-being. (…)

That is to say, developmental and biological disruptions during the prenatal period and earliest years of life may result in weakened physiological responses (e.g., in the immune system), vulnerabilities to later impairments in health (e.g., elevated blood pressure), and altered brain architecture (e.g., impaired neural circuits).«

Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University (USA)»The Foundations of Lifelong Health Are Built in Early Childhood.«https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/the-foundations-of-lifelong-health-are-built-in-early-childhood/

Conception and Pregnancy

Our life does not begin only at birth. A fact that is still vehemently denied. I am sure that many of you will also be surprised when you read this. Those who research or deeply engage with themselves know that an embryo is a feeling, breathing, living, and knowing being. Some of you may have accessed fragments of such memories through a dream, meditation, physical treatment, regression, or self-encounter. It is astonishing how many unconscious memories we store in our bodies and can retrieve at any time.

For those who have the courage to embark on a journey through cause and effect, I can only recommend this. And to those who believe that we do not know enough, need to explore more, require further studies, well, I can say: No. It is not a question of knowledge, but of practical implementation.

»That we are usually already nine months old when we “come into the world” is something we know. That our psychological life also begins before birth is not yet common knowledge. Otherwise, we would behave differently towards unborn life – in our partnerships, within our families, in prenatal care, obstetrics, or even in so-called assisted reproduction.«

Franz Ruppert (Deutschland)Professor for Psychology and Clinical Psychotherapist Book »Frühes Trauma – Schwangerschaft, Geburt und erste Lebensjahre«, p. 11 [Early Trauma – Pregnancy, Birth and First Years of Life]

»There are various stressors that can significantly influence the prenatal bond between expectant parents and the baby. These stressors include psychosocial factors such as poverty and job loss; traumatic childhood experiences related to deprivation, violence, and separation; difficulties with conception; and mental health issues in the mother like substance abuse and depression. A particular psychological stress for many women today arises from prenatal diagnosis, which has become a routine examination in prenatal care. (...)

Importantly, the transfer of stress hormones through the placenta, especially in cases of significant traumatic experiences for the mother, is crucial. This adaptive mechanism ensures that a child born into an insecure environment develops stronger survival mechanisms compared to a child whose mother had a calm and relaxed pregnancy. Postnatally, trauma-related consequences could include symptoms of ADHD, role reversals with mentally ill parents, or depressive withdrawal—these represent adaptive survival patterns, albeit with stress.«

Karl Heinz Brisch (Deutschland)Specialist in child and youth psychiatry, psychiatry and psychosomatic medicine and psychotherapy as well as neurology Book »Bindung und psychische Störungen – Ursachen, Behandlung und Prävention«, p. 23 [Attachment and mental disorders – Causes, treatment and prevention]

I would like to quote Franz Ruppert once again. He wrote a groundbreaking book that demonstrates the developmental risks of early trauma through a variety of examples. Together with colleagues, he presented backgrounds and examples from conception to unfulfilled desire for children, violence, and adoption in 16 detailed individual contributions. I would like to highlight just one example here regarding the topic of premature birth: a young woman who became pregnant at 16 and then again at 17. The second child, Son Peter, was born in the 35th week of pregnancy:

»The life history of premature babies often shows disturbances or even ruptures in the relationship with their parents even before birth. Significant events in the mother's life and experience have consequences for the child. In the case of Dagmar and her son Peter, there were situations before birth that were unbearable for Dagmar and so burdensome for Peter that he just wanted to “get out and away”, even from this life. In the meantime, Dagmar had written contact with her son and confirmed to me in another conversation that her son still thinks today: Others should take care of my well-being.«

Franz Ruppert (Deutschland)Professor of Psychology and Clinical Psychotherapist Book »Frühes Trauma – Schwangerschaft, Geburt und erste Lebensjahre«, p. 172 [Early trauma - pregnancy, birth and first years of life]

What about a child who has an abortion? If the abortion fails and the child survives? One point that is completely lost in the discussion about women’s rights: how does a child feel who has to be aborted? How do twins feel when one has been aborted and the other survives? How are children who survive multiple abortion attempts? Or how do children whose mothers want to kill themselves? Professor Dr. Franz Ruppert wrote on the subject of abortion attempts and suicide attempts of the mother in the above-mentioned book from page 118 onwards:

»The ideal of pregnancy as a time of carefree development and joyful anticipation, or of being warmly welcomed, can no longer be spoken of after an abortion attempt. The profoundly significant experience of being wanted, of being allowed to exist in safety, and of lovingly responding to its needs is missing for the child from the very beginning after existential prenatal threat. Even mothers who considered taking their own lives during pregnancy led the child in their womb into a traumatizing near-death experience and the associated consequences. It is now undisputed that traumatic experiences during the prenatal period leave lasting marks (Alberti 2012, Bauer 2002, Birnbaumer 1996, Deneke 1999, Huber 2013, Hochauf 2007, Hüther and Krenz 2013, Janov 2011, Janus 2013, Krüll 1997, Noble 1996, Singer 2002, Sonne 1997). The child feels fundamentally betrayed from the start with effects particularly on its “flourishing”, its future need for security, its capacity for love/relationships, and its self-respect. The life stories of most of the children who have bravely defied attacks on their lives remain unknown to the public. (...) This can be so deeply internalized that these individuals find it difficult to find a secure place in life or to feel permanently connected; they may subject themselves, often repeatedly, to environments where they experience painful bullying, or they may, in a way, repeatedly push themselves away by (unconsciously) creating situations where their own – often steep – careers suddenly halt or looming successes are suddenly prevented or destroyed.«

Birth

Let's move on to the subject of birth. I am dismayed at how much the caesarean section rate has increased in Germany in recent years. And I am appalled at how midwives are being pushed further and further out and how childbirth has become a male-dominated process. According to the Federal Statistical Office in Germany, we now have a cae-sarean section rate of almost 31% (in some cases even 35!). »The statisticians also pointed out that fewer and fewer hospitals in Germany are offering obstetrics at all.«4

It is interesting that the older age of women giving birth is often mentioned as an argument, although women today are often physically fitter and healthier than they were 40 years ago.

If you delve deeper into the history of the caesarean section, you will find some remarkable information. Dr. Gerd Reuther's book on the 2500-year history of European medicine, which is well worth reading, contains the following:

»Until the 16th century, men had no direct influence on gynecology, and even access to pregnant women and births was denied to clergy. As a result, the church imposed restrictive oversight over the midwifery profession. All practices had to be combined with prayers instead of pre-Christian customs. (...)

Under pressure from the church, midwives also performed cesarean sections – not to save the lives of the mother and child, but solely to baptize the child (known as emergency baptism). Documents reveal that the cesarean section almost always meant a death sentence for the mother. According to church guidelines, the emergency baptism of a non-viable fetus took precedence over the mother's life. Cesarean sections that were survived by birthing individuals were not documented in Germany until 1264 and in England until 1790.«

Gerd ReutherSpecialist doctor with teaching authorization for radiology Book »Heilung Nebensache – Eine kritische Geschichte der europäischen Medizin von Hippokrates bis Corona«, p. 314 [Healing as a minor matter – A critical history of European medicine from Hippocrates to Corona]

Since the birth of my children, I have also been wondering why the birthing process is not mainly supported and carried out by experienced mothers? And why do we not tap into ancient knowledge and healing practices? Lately, I have been contemplating whether the place where we give birth or are born also has an impact on our biography. I found an interesting article from Australia that refers to scientific studies involving Aborigines.

»In the first of nine papers, Wiradjuri and Ngemba Wayilwan author, Fleur Magick Dennis and her midwife share four compelling pregnancy and birthing journeys that give a unique insight into the cultural richness and healing that Birthing on Country can bring. These stories illustrate how important the transition during pregnancy and birth is for the “health” of the baby, mother, father, family and community. The author also provides a rare insight into the vital role of Aboriginal fathers in the cultural and spiritual process of birth. It is a deeply personal journey. Critically, the stories highlight the importance of understanding and respecting the cultural choices for birthing that women make. (…)

Women, supported by midwives, Aboriginal health workers, Aboriginal Community Controlled Health Organisations and researchers are clearly ‘reclaiming’ rich ancestral wisdom and bringing culture and spirituality back into birth to enrich our contemporary health care systems to foster a nurturing birth environment to support parents through this important transitional life event.«

Australian College of Midwives (ACM)»Women and Birth Journal«, Volume 32, Issue 5 (9 papers) Article: https://www.ckn.org.au/content/reclaiming-ancestral-wisdom-through-birth-ing-country-australia-special-edition-women-and Elsevier: https://www.clinicalkey.com.au/nursing/#!/browse/toc/1-s2.0-S1871519219X00050/null/journalIssue

Dreams

Dr. Ludwig Janus is a luminary in prenatal and perinatal psychology and medicine. He was President of the International Society for Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Medicine from 1995 to 2005 and has written 26 books on this topic. 5 Dreams were an integral part of his work:

»Another example is the report by Klaus Bieback, a German primary therapist, about a twenty-two-year-old woman whose coming-of-age is hindered by archaic fears:

„The fact of the matter in this woman's life story is that her mother almost lost her child when she was on vacation with her in the third month of pregnancy – bleeding had started. The cervix had opened 25 millimeters, and the doctors at the hospital initially thought it was an artificially induced abortion, but this was not the case. The mother had to lie totally still for five days and was not allowed to move. The doctors said she had a five percent chance of making it. She was given Valium and all her vital movements became very, very slow. The bleeding stopped. The child was then born healthy after another six months of normal pregnancy.

In the following dream report of the young woman there is a bizarre translation of fear from archaic times:

“(…) At the top of the platform is our car. (...) Dad is steering and his sister is next to him. Mother and I are outside. I now have to direct father how to drive, once forwards, once backwards. It's a matter of millimeters; I can't even look at it. It's a matter of life and death, and I have full responsibility and didn't want to and couldn't actually do it. (...) Everything very, very slowly. You can't actually do it. You could crash. (...)“

I would like to give the dream a title like the one I gave the young woman. It read: “Life has the right of way before the crash – very, very slowly.” (...) This report makes it clear how symbolic descendants of prenatal trauma can become present in dreams and in the communication of the therapeutic situation, the revival of which is necessary in order to gain independence in adult life through subsequent processing.«

Ludwig JanusPsychotherapist and Psychoanalyst Book »Wie die Seele entsteht.« p. 84 [How the soul is created]

Attachment and Education

Bonding between the parents and the unborn child, but above all between mother and child, is vital. Dr. Karl Heinz Brisch writes in his book »Bindung und psychische Störungen« [Attachment and mental disorders]:

»Gerhard Roth, one of the most important neurobiologists in our country, pointed out several years ago on the basis of empirical findings that the main causes of mental disorders are the traumatization of the mother before and during pregnancy as well as the child's experience of trauma in the first 2-3 years of life. Genetic-epigenetic aspects only explain a variance of 10-20% on (Roth & Strüber 2014).«

Karl Heinz BrischUniv.-Prof., Dr. Med. habil Specialist in child and adolescent psychiatry, psychiatry, psychosomatic medicine and psychotherapy as well as neurology, psychoanalyst Book »Bindung und psychische Störungen – Ursachen, Behandlung und Prävention«, p. 28 [Attachment and mental disorders – Causes, treatment and prevention]

In 2006, an article by Dr. Jürgen Wettig, doctor of neurology, psychiatry and psychotherapy and now head of the department of the ZSP Rheinblick (Centre for Social Psychiatry). He wrote:6

»Early childhood experiences, on the other hand, before the age of three, are stored in implicit (unconscious) memory. Freud coined the term “infantile amnesia” for this. From a neuroscientific perspective, there is no doubt today that early childhood experiences are significantly involved in the construction of the neuron network in the brain and thus shape future personality. For example, if a two-year-old child is frequently yelled at by their caregiver, the brain processes this stimulus directly in the cerebral cortex. The unconscious perception of the loud rejection becomes indelibly inscribed in implicit memory (priming, “scar”) and may potentially cause an anxiety disorder or insecure social skills in adulthood, without the individual being consciously aware of the actual cause.«

Jürgen WettigDoctor of Neurology, Psychiatry and Psychotherapy Senior physician at the Forensic Clinic Vitos in the Rheingau, Germany

»Education should start with the parents' education from the birth of the child. The most powerful means of education is love, provided that it is shared equally among all children and not given in excess. One of the worst common parenting mistakes is to spoil children because it takes their courage and self-confidence, but it is also dangerous to use severe punishments. The child’s self-confidence, his personal courage is his greatest happiness. «

Adolf Adler (1870 – 1937)Doctor and psychotherapist Founder of individual psychology 7

Education System

Gerhard Hüther and Uli Hauser start their book »Jedes Kind ist hoch begabt« [Every child is gifted] with a quote from John Lennon:

»When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down “happy”. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.«

»Children can do more than squinting at school reports, we humiliate them by reducing their performance to the grades they have earned in school. More and more parents see themselves as managers or trainers of their children. This idea is based on the attitude that children are basically defective, because they lack something, the parents have to intervene. But the children are tired of being constantly corrected and criticized, they don’t deserve it either. They are competent and want to take responsibility, for themselves and in the best case also for others. They are, from a young age, their own personalities with their own needs. You have gained your own memories and experiences, acquired your own skills and abilities. They belong to no one but themselves. They are eagles, not soup chickens.«

Gerald HütherFormer professor of neurobiology at the Psychiatric Clinic at the University of Göttingen, Germany Book »Jedes Kind ist hoch begabt«, p. 31 [Every child is gifted]

In his world-famous 2006 speech at the TED conference (short for »Technology, Education, Design«), Ken Robinson, who has dedicated his entire life to the subject of education, said:

»If you think of it, the whole system of public education around the world is a protracted process of university entrance. And the consequence is that many highly talented, brilliant, creative people think they're not, because the thing they were good at school wasn't valued, or was actually stigmatized. And I think we can't afford to go on that way.

In the next 30 years, according to UNESCO, more people worldwide will be graduating through education than since the beginning of history. More people, and it's the combination of all the things we've talked about -- technology and its transformation effect on work, and demography and the huge explosion in population. Suddenly, degrees aren't worth anything. Isn't that true? When I was a student, if you had a degree, you had a job. If you didn't have a job it's because you didn't want one. And I didn't want one, frankly. But now kids with degrees are often heading home to carry on playing video games, because you need an MA where the previous job required a BA, and now you need a PhD8 for the other. It's a process of academic inflation. And it indicates the whole structure of education is shifting beneath our feet. We need to radically rethink our view of intelligence.«

Sir Ken Robinson, UK

Professor and Head of the National Commission on Creativity,

Education and the Economy for the UK Government

TED-Talk »Do schools kill creativity?«

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iG9CE55wbtY

Elites – Do they have it easier?

For those who believe that antiquated or brutal child-rearing is a thing of the past, I would like to draw your attention to the parenting style of long-established, wealthy families – the so-called elites. To this day, early separation of mother and child is promoted as ideal.

While the woman may bear offspring (preferably a son), child rearing itself is not her responsibility. Isn't it better to keep the child away from an excessive motherly care? Emotions and attachment are generally seen as disruptive. They spoil character and hinder one's upward climb on the career ladder. Therefore, changing nannies, housekeepers, and private tutors take over the upbringing. Even access to nature is systematically restricted or serves a specific purpose only, such as horseback riding, rowing, or fishing. In this way, outsiders gain access and control over the minds and bodies of the little ones right from birth.

Once these children outgrow their childhood, the process continues without a break. They are sent away from home to boarding schools where privacy is a foreign concept and often strictly segregated by genders. Suddenly, boys are faced with immense pressure to conform, strict rules, opaque hierarchies, and sometimes brutal punishment methods and initiation rites. An environment that is a torture especially for sensitive children.

If they survive this time, some of them are then sent to military academies for toughening up, discipline, patriotism, and preparation for future wars. Their fathers only pay attention to them when they perform. Few of them know the warmth, affectionate physical contact with their mother and father.

In an article published in 2015 by the British newspaper »The Guardian«, author Alex Renton describes the experience at elite English boarding schools – which are still considered the gold standard worldwide – as follows:9

»I once knew an American psychoanalyst who worked in a Bangkok practice, specialising in expats. (…) “Middle-aged, middle-class Brits who went to your crazy private schools may just about be the most damaged social sub-group I’ve ever come across.” (…) In the 20th century a clutch of authors, from George Orwell to Roald Dahl, wrote in their different ways about the systemic cruelty, psychological and physical, and of its wider effects. One of those was the establishment of the principle, among the elite and the ordinary, that to have been brutalized at a boarding school was key to becoming the right sort of Briton – one that might run an empire or a corporation, or a cricket team. Naturally, as the proven best way to educate a ruling caste, the system spread across the English-speaking world. Psychology seems to have taken a long time to catch up with the issue, perhaps because Freud famously dismissed most of his child patients᾿ allegations of abuse by adults as fantasy. (…)

Joy Schaverien coined the term “boarding school syndrome” only a decade ago, though she follows in the footsteps of Nick Duffell, a psychotherapist who started work in the field in 1990 and wrote a passionate and influential book about the wounds boarding can inflict, The Making of Them. (…)

The many hundreds of emails I’ve received make it pretty clear that the schools of the elite suffered the same cover-ups and the same astonishing failings in regulation and in policing as did the hospitals, care homes and young offenders᾿ prisons. The difference? (…) “Boarders cannot console themselves with the thought that their parents did not want them to go,” Professor Schaverien states. Their parents chose to send them from home into hell or prison – words her patients frequently use – and so to break the bond with their child.«

John Bowlby, also from the UK and founder of attachment theory, grew up in a well-off family himself. His father was a respected surgeon and he is said to have only seen his mother for about an hour a day.

»However, Bowlby's own nanny took on a caring role for him, but left the family when he was three years old. At the age of eight he was sent to boarding school and after the First World War he entered the Royal Naval College in Dartmouth. At the age of seventeen, he decided to study medicine and psychology at Trinity College, Cambridge. In 1951, John Bowlby's study on the relationship between maternal care and mental health, commissioned by the WHO, was published. It was a contribution to the UN's program for the welfare of homeless children.«10

Throughout his life, John Bowlby was preoccupied with attachment, which he missed so sorely. In his 1988 book »A Secure Base« he wrote at the very beginning:11

»To be a successful parent means a lot of very hard work. Looking after a baby or toddler is twenty-four hour-a-day job seven days a week, and often a very worrying one at that. And even if the load lightens a little as children get older, if they are to flourish they still require a lot of time and attention. For many people today, these are unpalatable truths. Giving time and attention to children means sacrificing other interests and other activities. (…) Study after study (…) attest that healthy, happy, and self-reliant adolescents and young adults are the products of stable homes in which both parents give a great deal of time and attention to the children. (…) Paradoxically it has taken the world’s richest societies to ignore these facts. Man and woman power devoted to the production of material goods counts a plus in all our economic indices. Man and woman power devoted to the production of happy, healthy, self-reliant children in their own homes does not count at all. We have created a topsy-turvy-world. (…) It is evident, however, that attachment behavior is in no way confined to children. Although usually less readily aroused, we see it also in adolescents and adults of both sexes whenever they are anxious or under stress. No one should be surprised therefore when a woman expecting a baby or a mother caring for young children has a strong desire to be cared for and supported herself.«

John Bowlby (1907 – 1990), UK

Pediatrician, child psychiatrist and psychoanalyst

Founder of the attachment theory

It is interesting that as soon as people climb the career ladder or come into money, they emulate the pattern of the so-called elites without hesitation. Throughout their lives, their entire aspiration is geared towards career and the accumulation of money. Without hesitation, they make the same mistakes with their children and deny them what they themselves craved most: Love, time, attention, relationship and recognition. But the goal of getting to the top is probably more desirable than secure, stable, family ties.

In order to avoid having to feel their own pain, the pain is passed on from one generation to the next. Even more devastating: these traumatized elites determine the social interaction and lives of millions of people. As a result, they multiply their personal suffering and pain in institutions, foundations, companies and politics, the film and entertainment industry, as well as research and development. Their negative self-image and bleak visions of the future lead them to invent one survival strategy and destructive technology after another to involve us all in their perpetual internal and external wars.

Rape, Institutionalized Violence and Wars

For centuries and millennia, the history of mankind has been marked by violence, wars, assaults and torture. Of incest, abuse and abortions, of envy, resentment, rivalry, greed and avarice. The burden weighs on generations of families. Buildings, areas, regions and even nations are marked by it. These experiences, stored in every cell of our body and in the soil of Mother Earth, are passed on to our children and grandchildren from generation to generation. Often unconsciously, but sometimes very consciously.

At the University Hospital in Ulm, Germany, a team of experts for the first time over a period of four years (2013 to 2017) » accompanied the influence of positive and negative maternal childhood experiences on the relationship with one’s child and its development. (…) In the study »Meine Kindheit – Deine Kindheit«12,13 [»My childhood – Your childhood«] risk and protective factors should be revealed that contribute to whether and how abuse, mistreatment and neglect experiences are passed on to the next generation. The study was divided into five substudies and started shortly after the birth of the child and lasted until the age of seven, that is to say school start. Physicians, biologists and psychologists accompanied about 158 families. It has been shown that mental stress had a negative effect on the body and lead to chronic and inflammatory diseases.14

The study has now been running for eight years; also during the time of the corona pandemic. In an article in FOCUS, Claudia Buß, professor at the Institute for Medical Psychology at the Charité in Berlin, said:

»Not only beatings are violence – psychological violence in the form of humiliation, threats or silence can also harm children. (...).

Approximately every third child is a victim of abuse and/or neglect. It is not only those affected who often carry these experiences with them for the rest of their lives. They apparently also pass on the risks. Researchers looked at the health of the subsequent generation and found connections with maternal abuse experiences. A team led by Buß reported on this in the specialist journal “The Lancet – Public Health”. They analyzed data from over 4300 mother-child pairs.

According to the study, the offspring of women who had been abused and/or neglected as children had a higher risk of various illnesses: Precursors of depression and anxiety disorders, attention deficit disorder ADHD, autism and asthma. The daughters of these mothers were also more likely to be overweight than their sons. (...)

“The question of mental stress should be more closely integrated into general medical care, for example in gynaecology and pediatric medicine.”«15

Institutionalized violence runs like a red line through history. What is frightening to me is seeing how doctors and psychologists willingly become accomplices. Especially the medical profession, which has sworn the Hippocratic Oath and is dedicated to healing people, repeatedly finds itself entangled with politics, churches, lobbyists, and powerful financiers. The massive perpetration of crimes against children often takes one's breath away:

»The use of medicines in children’s homes was already discussed in the final report of the “Roundtable on Children’s Home Care” published as early as 2010. Those affected reported the administration of medications without medical justification. (...)

Medical violence was facilitated by a perception of mental illnesses as primarily biological and therefore hereditary. Previous experiences of violence, such as abuse within the family, and resulting mental health issues or developmental delays were rarely taken into account during diagnosis. Consequently, the decision to admit individuals to an institution or clinic for the mentally ill or disabled was seldom questioned, and any failure of therapies was attributed to the young patients themselves, with their constitution being seen as the cause of their suffering.«

Nora Wohlfarth

State Archives of Baden-Württemberg

»Medizinische Gewalt«

[Medical Violence]

https://www.leo-bw.de/themenmodul/heimkindheiten/alltag/gewalt-einfuhrung/medizinische-gewalt

Krieg öffnet Tür und Tor für das Dunkelste und Schrecklichste. Ein Beispiel aus der NS-Zeit ist das Projekt »Lebensborn«16, das 1935 begann:

»Approximately 700,000 abortions performed annually negatively affected the desired high birth rate. Unmarried women at the time opted for abortion to avoid defamation and social exclusion. Concerned that these children would not be “lost” to the German Reich, Heinrich Himmler came up with the idea of creating opportunities for discreet childbirth. He believed this would eliminate the need for abortions. This was the birth of the “Lebensborn e.V.” The organization was founded on December 6, 1935, and was administratively linked to the SS. In the German Reich (including Austria), it operated nine obstetric and two children's homes. To bring the illegitimate children of German occupying troops under German influence during the war, it established a total of 13 obstetric and children's homes in Belgium, France, Luxembourg, and Norway, with ten of them solely in Norway. Between 1936 and 1945, 8,000 to 9,000 children were born in its German homes, almost half of whom were born out of wedlock. Additionally, a total of 9,000 children, mostly illegitimate, were born in Norway. (...)

From 1942, the “Lebensborn” organization participated in the Germanization of several hundred children and adolescents aged from a few months to 17 years old. These individuals had been abducted to Germany against the will or without the knowledge of their parents or legal guardians from the former Yugoslavia, Norway, Poland, or the former Czechoslovakia. The "Lebensborn" gave them German names, educated them in its homes in what was deemed the German way of life, or placed them in German foster families for future adoption purposes. Simultaneously, new birth certificates were issued to them with German nationality.

According to the racial ideologies of the “Lebensborn” officials, the selection of expectant mothers aimed to prevent the birth of “inferior” offspring. Nevertheless, children with severe disabilities were born in the “Lebensborn” homes. They were immediately transferred to so-called children's specialist departments, where they were murdered as part of the “child euthanasia” program. Up to now, 17 killed “Lebens-born” children are known.

Lebendiges Museum Online

»The “Lebensborn e.V.” of the SS«

https://www.dhm.de/lemo/kapitel/ns-regime/innenpolitik/der-lebensborn-ev-der-ss.html

Child Uthanasie? Gerhard Schmidt wrote in his book »Selektion in der Heilanstalt 1939 – 1945«17 [Selection in the Sanatorium 1939 - 1945] on pages 37 and 38:

»Eugenic-scientific slogans

That the purification of species was the goal of exterminating those under care, is evident not least from publications by race eugenicists. In 1940, a Nazi hereditary biologist felt compelled to shake up his colleagues with a conceptual design. One side of this Janus-faced “renewal program” was the control and promotion of reproduction among the healthy.

„For the actual breeding selection problem – these researchers have hardly shown any interest so far... For those who consider themselves engaged in the biological selection of their people..., the question is not whether they should produce offspring or not, but only with whom. We are looking for demonstrably healthy clans... Ruthlessly and with a clear marching order... If it was supposed to be the fundamental idea of the SS units from the very beginning, to be a biological selection... That alone has always been the purpose of marriage permission, and from this alone arose the call to the soldiers..., to overcome inevitable death through new life in various ways. A similar thought underlies the unique institution of the “Lebensborn” (Fountain of Life)... (...) Here lies... the secular task and significance of the Western biological sciences of our time... (»Der Biologe«, 1940). [»The Biologist«, 1940]”

(…)