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- Herausgeber: IVP Academic
- Kategorie: Religion und Spiritualität
- Serie: Christian Association for Psychological Studies Books
- Sprache: Englisch
Students arrive on campus with various boxes of belongings to unpack, some heavy, some tidy, some more valuable, some more private. For many students, two of these boxes could be labeled "My Faith" and "My Sexuality"—and these two can be among the most cumbersome to handle. How to balance the two without having to set one down? How to hold them both closely, both securely, but still move forward to settle in with new friends in a new environment? How to keep from dropping one or the other, spilling its embarrassing contents for all to see?Such can be the struggle for any student, but especially for any sexual minority who identifies or struggles with an LGB+ identity or same-sex attraction on a Christian college campus. For these students their faith and their sexuality often feel both tender and in acute tension. Who is God making them to be? What do they need to grow in to develop faithfully, and what might they need to leave behind? How can they truly flourish?The research team of Yarhouse, Dean, Stratton, and Lastoria draw on their decades of experience both in the psychology of sexual identity and in campus counseling to bring us the results of an original longitudinal study into what sexual minorities themselves experience, hope for, and benefit from. Rich with both quantitative and qualitative data, their book gives an unprecedented opportunity to listen to sexual minorities in their own words, as well as to observe patterns and often surprising revelations about life and personal development both on campus and after graduation.Listening to Sexual Minorities will be an indispensable resource not only for counselors and psychologists but also for faculty, student-development leaders, and administrators in higher education as well as leaders in the church and wider Christian community who want to create an intentional environment to hear from and contribute to the spiritual flourishing of all. Christian Association for Psychological Studies (CAPS) Books explore how Christianity relates to mental health and behavioral sciences including psychology, counseling, social work, and marriage and family therapy in order to equip Christian clinicians to support the well-being of their clients.
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To the Christian college anduniversity students who sharedtheir life stories with us.
CONTENTS
PREFACE
IT WOULD HAVE BEEN DIFFICULT TO IMAGINE over twelve years ago that the work we were doing on the experiences of sexual minorities at Christian colleges would culminate in a book-length manuscript. What we knew at the time was that there were many students at Christian colleges and universities around the United States who experienced same-sex attraction and were navigating questions about their sexual identity and their faith. Many people were speaking for them, and some voices were at times conflicting. We suspected it could be potentially helpful to hear directly from them about their experiences. But before we say a bit more about that, let us take a moment to introduce ourselves. It will be helpful background to lead into how this project came to be.
For the past twenty years, Mark Yarhouse has been conducting research and providing clinical services to Christians who experience a conflict between their sexual identity and their religious identity. He is executive director of the Institute for the Study of Sexual Identity at Regent University. He codirects the institute with Dr. Olya Zaporozhets, who works alongside him in the School of Psychology and Counseling. Mark works in the doctoral program in clinical psychology alongside a number of terrific colleagues, who have encouraged him in these discussion of faith and sexuality, including William Hathaway, James Sells, Jennifer Ripley, Cassandra Page, Carissa Dwiwardani, Judy Johnson, Linda Baum, Andy Rowan, Erynne Shatto, and Glen Moriarty. He also has a deep and abiding interest in the mission of Christian colleges and universities. Mark completed his undergraduate degrees in philosophy and art with a minor in psychology at Calvin College and his graduate studies in theology and clinical psychology at Wheaton College. Earlier in his career he collaborated with his mentor, Stan Jones, on a study of whether people could change their sexual orientation through involvement in Christian ministries. His experience studying whether people could change orientation influenced him to explore the conflict Christians often experience from a different angle. In other words, he wanted to study sexual-identity development and the experiences of Christians navigating sexual- and religious-identity conflicts over time. This led to several lines of research, including the one culminating in this book project.
Janet Dean entered Asbury Theological Seminary as a relatively new Christian with a bachelor’s degree in psychology from the University of Akron. There, as she completed a master’s in counseling and a master’s of divinity, her interest in the integration of faith and psychology, particularly how this contributes to mental health and well-being, took root. At the same time, several of her seminary friends were involved with ex-gay ministries in the area, and she was privileged to walk with them through that part of their journey, listening and supporting as they worked toward making sense of their sexual identity in light of their faith. Her graduate education then continued with doctoral studies in clinical psychology at the Ohio State University, where there was seemingly less room for faith to be considered as anything but detrimental to mental health, especially in areas related to sexuality. Even so, her experiences there brought new perspectives on sexual identity and a greater awareness of how harmful religion had been for many sexual minorities. In the early 2000s, Janet joined the student counseling center at Asbury University as a staff psychologist, working under the direction of Steve Stratton. There she counseled many students, including many sexual minorities, who were working through the integration of their faith into the rest of their lives. This work continued as she moved into a faculty position, where she now teaches, researches, mentors, and counsels in this area and greatly appreciates the Christian liberal arts environment, which has tremendous potential to foster psychological, sexual, and spiritual development.
Steve Stratton deeply appreciates his undergraduate degree in psychology with minors in Bible and sociology from Asbury University, a Christian liberal arts institution in Kentucky. He found a rigorous and relational academic environment where he could formally integrate his growing passions for psychology and his faith. During those formative years, he roomed with another student, who became a lifelong contact and friend. This friend came out after graduating and after his opposite-sex marriage ended. Surprised, Steve recognized that he had not been and still was not a very effective listener for this dear brother. Steve began listening more formally to sexual minorities while a counseling psychology doctoral student at Auburn University’s student counseling center in the mid-1980s. Still learning to listen, he had the chance to hear from sexual minorities at student counseling centers at Texas A&M University and then, coming full circle, at Asbury University, where he eventually served as director of student counseling services for sixteen years. As he added more teaching and research at Asbury Theological Seminary to his clinical work, Steve realized that his interest in the intersection of religious and spiritual development and sexual development had a common theme—serving marginalized persons. Christian colleges, such as the ones where he worked, endeavored to prepare students to enter a vocational world where authentic and orthodox faith was often misunderstood and even rejected. Regretfully, Steve saw that Christian sexual minorities frequently faced similar misunderstanding from the very same educational communities that could have empathized with that experience. Steve continues to hope that listening to diverse stories of marginalization at the intersection of sexuality and faith will chart a path into the future for Christian colleges and universities and provide clues for navigating this complicated cultural discussion.
Michael Lastoria recently ended his thirty-five-year tenure as director of counseling services at Houghton College, a Christian liberal arts college in the Wesleyan tradition located in western New York. In this capacity “listening to” was a way of life for him as a Christian therapist. Although he had always believed in God, Mike’s Christian experience did not begin in earnest until his early twenties, after college. The start of his faith journey coincided with the beginning of his work as a therapist, and these two disciplines, psychology and theology, have remained present in his internal dialogue to this day. Mike completed his graduate work in counseling at the University of Nebraska (Omaha), his doctoral training in counselor education at Loyola University (Chicago), and training in marriage and family therapy at the University of Rochester.
During the ’80s and ’90s Mike’s listening to students with same-sex attraction was with understanding but always focused on “change.” Early in his work, change was always possible with faith, and therapy was designed to repair. As others influenced his thinking, such as the late Lewis Smedes (Sex for Christians) and Mark Yarhouse (Ex-Gays?), the terrain became less clear as causation and cure became hotly contested. This gradually allowed for a deeper connection with students as the counseling focus became not solely on changing the direction of one’s sexual attractions but on students’ holistic growth, including their spiritual experience, and how they made sense of their Christian faith and same-sex attraction. Mike heard the stories of deeply committed young men and women who were desirous of becoming “washed and waiting” (Wesley Hill) and also the stories of equally committed gay students wanting to follow Christ while remaining open to a same-sex relationship (à la Justin Lee/Gay Christian Network). His counseling became more focused on how to encourage a student’s walk with God and to understand the narrative that was the foundation for this walk. As such he has been able to come alongside students and support their convictions to remain celibate with same-sex attractions while also serving as a faculty mentor to the informal LGBT group on campus. This perspective has allowed him to envision a Christian campus that remains faithful to a sexual ethic while providing students with the challenge and support so essential to their formation as mature adults.
Mark met Steve and Janet at Asbury University in 2005, and they began working together on the first of three national studies. The development of the first study took place with the support of the Council for Christian Colleges and Universities (CCCU), and we often refer to that as the “2009 study” because of the date of publication. At that time there were also outside (of the university) voices claiming to represent the concerns of sexual minorities on Christian college campuses. Some of these voices protested the policies that were viewed by them as discriminatory against sexual minorities. Our thought at that time was that it would be beneficial for Christian colleges and universities to undertake their own study of the experiences of sexual minorities on Christian college campuses, rather than risk being overreactive to activists, which could become polarizing in a broader culture-war atmosphere.
We knew Mike Lastoria and were delighted when he contacted us about a study he was a part of that looked at sexual attitudes and behavior among students who attend Christian colleges. The researchers were working with the Association for Christians in Student Development (ACSD). We were invited to add items for students who experienced same-sex attraction, and this became our second national study. We often refer to this as the “2013 study” (again to reference the publication date).
The third study will be featured throughout this book, although we will reference all three studies and make comparisons among samples where it is helpful to the reader. The third study was also with the support of the ACSD, but it is different from the two previous studies because it is the only one that is a longitudinal study. In this book we will refer to it as “the longitudinal study” or “the current study.” By longitudinal we mean that we invited the same students at Christian colleges to share their experiences over time. So anytime we are writing about students and what they shared with us at time 1 and time 2, we are referencing the longitudinal study. Students are simply providing us with information at a point in time (time 1) and then roughly a year later (time 2).
We also want to thank the project coordinators from the Institute for the Study of Sexual Identity at Regent University. Emma Bucher (for times 1 and 2 data collection) and Julia Sadusky (for time 3 data collection) were responsible for managing contact with participants, coordinating communication, scheduling interviews, and much more. We are grateful to them and to the many interviewers and transcribers who acted with integrity and displayed great professionalism and committed themselves to this project. In addition, we want to express appreciation to the consensual qualitative research (CQR) team, who dedicated significant hours to the task of coding, analyzing, and “storying” the transcribed interviews for times 1 and 2. Jeffrey Reed, Greg Koprowski, Christina Dillon, Jessica Foreman, Sarah Halford, Taylor Zimmerman, and Paulk Parrish provided dedicated service as volunteer research partners.
We learn more each time we conduct a study. It would be difficult to count how many times we said, “Why didn’t we think to ask that?” in reference to a topic that today seems obvious. Perhaps we are getting better at it.
In any case, this book is titled Listening to Sexual Minorities because we wanted to take a posture of respect for students who are navigating sexual and religious identities. This book represents what we know at present about sexual minorities at Christian colleges. It represents what they are telling us about their faith, their sexuality, their attitudes and behaviors, and their experience of the campus climate. We hope that by sharing this information we will all be better off, that there will be a greater sense of empathy and compassion for emerging adults who are navigating important questions about their faith and their sexual identity. There is an opportunity here, too, for the Christian community to think about how it discusses what it believes (doctrine) and reflects on how it functions (policies) and how it relates (relationships). In that sense, a study of Christian colleges is a microcosm of a larger cultural discussion for Christian institutions. Not everything will transfer over to a different setting, but some ideas will. We hope that the discussions that take place on the other side of this kind of research will be deeper and more meaningful discussions that are informed by what sexual minorities say about their experience.
What are we after? What do we hope you will take away from this book? We hope that readers will listen to the range of voices and experiences of these students. They are not all saying one thing, and so we have to listen carefully. We hope that Christians will also be more intentional as they engage the people represented in this project. We hope that Christian institutions will support a comprehensive and more nuanced view of personhood, including our sexuality and sexual identity, and that our hopes to build one another up will be reflected in the quality of our programming and in our interpersonal relationships.
A CLOSER LOOK
UNDERSTANDING THE POPULATION
For a long time, [my sexuality felt] like this awkward person that I carried around that I didn’t know what to do with. But for me it was like a door for me to explore my faith. Because all of a sudden, it’s like, “Here’s something that I know to be true about myself, but I also know that I’m a child of God . . . so how do I start reconciling the two?” I think that’s really moved me to go deeper in my faith and a lot broader, which is really why I’m here at this college. . . . Even though it’s been burdening at times, it’s really been an eye opener and also a catalyst of sorts to draw me closer in my faith and my relationship with God. I think sadly that’s kind of rare for people with same-sex attraction who are in Christian contexts.
—Liam, a junior, identifies as gay, time 2
JOCELYN SAT IN THE CHAIR across from her counselor, shifting nervously and hesitating to make eye contact. She had initially asked to see this particular counselor because she believed this counselor was one of the few people on campus who both could really understand what she was experiencing and had a solid theological perspective. She shared how she had decided on a college because of her faith, her desire to work with horses, and a real sense that God opened the doors for her to come here to study. Jocelyn shared how, now, while here, she was happy, connected to others, and making good friends, but that was part of the problem. Her closeness to one friend, in particular, had led to physical attraction and even some physical arousal, and she was trying to make sense of that. What did that mean about their friendship? What did that mean about her sexuality?
Thomas met with his campus counselor to discuss his declining grades and poor class attendance, but Thomas and his counselor both knew that these were merely symptoms of his growing depression. He had known from a very early age that he was “different” from the other boys, and that difference became more obvious when he began to experience attraction to his male friends. After years of wrestling with this attraction, Thomas had claimed his identity as gay but still wanted to attend a conservative Christian college because such a school fit with his faith. As he lived and studied in this environment, and matured in his faith and sexuality, he struggled even more with this sexual identity and felt a great deal of shame. At that time, neither he nor his counselor knew that he would find some good friends in this community who would support him to “come out”—at least, as much as was possible with the behavioral constraints of the college. His senior year would bring some healing, and his coursework would be full of research papers and presentations actively investigating LGBT issues—issues that would stretch the faculty and students of this conservative religious community.
Eric came to his Christian college community with an awareness of his same-sex attractions and an understanding that he was likely gay. He was not drawn to the college for its religious stance but rather for the strong program it offered in social work. The tension between his understanding of his sexual identity and the religious stance on sexuality of this institution became too much for him. He grew more and more outspoken about its seemingly discriminatory policies until he graduated. After his graduation, his anger at the school and its community grew even more intense as he wrote multiple letters, blog posts, and newspaper articles to raise awareness about the school.
Jacob struggled with his same-sex attraction and begged his counselor to pray with him that God would take it away. Over many hours of conversation and tears, Jacob realized that this was a part of him and would be always. Over the years, his faith grew, as did his comfort with his own self. Even so, he never chose to identify as being gay, as he never understood himself in that way. Years later, as a psychologist himself, he married a kind, intelligent woman and had two lovely children, and Jacob feels fulfilled and happy with his life. “I cannot believe how much God has blessed me,” he recently posted on Facebook. This same joy is evident in my personal and professional interactions with him.
Taryn quietly reflected on what it means to live a life of celibacy as a lesbian. In her college community, she found acceptance, friendship, and support from both men and women, both straight and gay students, and both staff and faculty. Over the years here, figuring out relationship boundaries with other women has been the one of her more challenging tasks. She’s shared many stories where the pull of sexual attraction worked sometimes toward friendship and sometimes away from it, always in search of fulfilling that aching need for intimacy and connectedness. In one of her last meetings with her counselor, she discussed what Wesley Hill’s book Spiritual Friendship meant to her. She simply said, “Being celibate allows me to be friends with other women—really intimate friends—in a way that might not be possible otherwise. It is hard, but God is making something beautiful out of all of this.”
These students represent so many men and women on our Christian campuses who are navigating the relationship, and the seeming tension, between their faith and their sexual identity. They are searching and learning—step by step, hurt by hurt, victory by victory—how to hold both essential pieces of their identity together at the very same time.
In this chapter we want to help you as a reader understand sexual minorities who attend Christian colleges in the United States. We will discuss why students attend Christian colleges and then provide an overview of what we know about the students from our sample.
WHY GO TO A CHRISTIAN COLLEGE?
In the previous chapter we referred to Wentz and Wessel’s 2013 work in understanding why sexual-minority students might go to faith-based colleges. Let’s revisit that study here, as it is one of only a handful that looks at this distinct population. Wentz and Wessel interviewed eight college students who identified as gay and attended one of four various faith-based institutions across the country. Two of these students indicated they had sought out a Christian college or university with restrictive behavioral standards, thinking this would help them to manage their sexual attraction, even keeping them from becoming gay. One student described his decision this way, “So when looking at my university, I saw what their policies were, and for me I felt that it would be best if I was trying to change something, which at the time I felt like being gay was something that needed to change. . . . It provided the restrictions that I felt would be needed for that change to occur.”
These students, and others like them in our faith-based institutions, seem to understand their sexual attraction through a disability lens. Their same-sex attraction was something “wrong” with them, and that attraction needed to be controlled and changed. A Christian campus, then, with more restrictive policies about sexuality, would help them to put boundaries around their sexual behavior, and in essence help them better manage their perceived disability.
The other six students in Wentz and Wessel’s study, however, did not seem to be motivated to attend a Christian college or university by a need to manage their same-sex attraction. They instead saw their attractions as something they experienced but also as something that likely would go away over time. Even if the attraction didn’t go away, many of these students believed they would never engage in the associated sexual behavior. One student commented, “At the time I was very religious. . . . I didn’t really ever expect to be ‘out’ or comfortable with being a lesbian.” The perspective of these students fits better within the integrity lens. Holding to a more orthodox view of sexuality, these students likely saw their attractions as something other than who they are and not something they would ever act on. Engaging in a Christian community, even one with more restrictive sexual standards, would not seem threatening or problematic.
In contrast, Wentz and Wessel described the perspective of these students as identity denial, asserting that these students were not being true to who they really are. Given that these particular students did come to identify as gay or lesbian, perhaps this denial is true for them, and even for many other students, but not for all. In this “identity denial” interpretation, the implied message is that these students should embrace their attractions and engage freely in same-sex sexual behavior. Here, the diversity lens serves as the arbiter of healthy development, without recognizing the importance of faith in how these students make sense of both their attractions and who they are.
Yet faith commitments may be the most distinguishing characteristic of the students in our sample and consequently the many sexual minorities they represent who are enrolled in numerous faith-based institutions of higher education. These students are living in a space within a campus climate that, at least regarding matters of sexuality, identity, and religion, is often open for discussion and values the integration of faith and sexuality (or other important concerns), but also where conflict with the broader culture is present. It’s there, amid the conflict, in the middle of multiple lenses being used to understand sexuality, that these students are forging their identity.
WHO ARE THESE STUDENTS?
Sexual-minority students on our faith-based college and university campuses are distinct not only in their task of juggling sexuality, identity, and religion in a multicontextual framework; they themselves are different. Of course, they are different from many of their college peers because of their same-sex attraction. What might not be so obvious, however, is how different they are from many sexual minorities at more secular institutions.
They are relatively young.
