Love Voltaire Us Apart E-Book

Julia Edelman

• Herausgeber: Icon Books
• Kategorie: Lebensstil
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 64

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2016

Beschreibung

What would Kant's sexts look like? How would Jean-Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir break up? What would Confucius think of Tinder? Love Voltaire Us Apart is a hilarious spoof relationship guide with a philosophical edge, made up of philosophers' love letters, advice columns and breakup letters. From Confucius learning the Golden Rules of dating to Simone de Beauvoir considering bangs after breaking up with Jean-Paul Sartre, comedy writer Julia Edelman views the love lives of prominent philosophers through a clever and contemporary lens. She points out that Margaret Fuller is the "Carrie" of transcendentalism, and Nietzsche will always find a way to make a bad breakup infinitely worse. "Getting Meta(Physical)—Who is Your Philosopher Crush?" is the only quiz you'll need to find your soul mate, and "How To Know if Your Man is Writing a Manifesto" will show you how to avoid losing your relationship to imminent revolution. Based on Edelman's New Yorker article, "Excerpts from Philosophers' Breakup Letters Throughout History", Love Voltaire Us Apart is funny, smart, refreshingly original, and brought to life with charming illustrations by Hallie Bateman.

Leseprobe

LOVE VOLTAIRE US APART

LOVE VOLTAIRE US APART

a PHILOSOPHER’S GUIDE to RELATIONSHIPS

JULIA EDELMAN

illustrated by HALLIE BATEMAN

Published in the UK in 2016 by Icon Books Ltd, Omnibus Business Centre, 39–41 North Road, London N7 9DP email: [email protected]

Sold in the UK, Europe and Asia by Faber & Faber Ltd, Bloomsbury House, 74–77 Great Russell Street, London WC1B 3DA or their agents

Distributed in the UK, Europe and Asia by Grantham Book Services, Trent Road, Grantham NG31 7XQ

Distributed in the USA by Publishers Group West, 1700 Fourth Street, Berkeley, CA 94710

Distributed in Canada by Publishers Group Canada, 76 Stafford Street, Unit 300 Toronto, Ontario M6J 2S1

Distributed in Australia and New Zealand by Allen & Unwin Pty Ltd, PO Box 8500, 83 Alexander Street, Crows Nest, NSW 2065

Distributed in South Africa by Jonathan Ball, Office B4, The District, 41 Sir Lowry Road, Woodstock 7925

Distributed in India by Penguin Books India, 7th Floor, Infinity Tower – C, DLF Cyber City, Gurgaon 122002, Haryana

ISBN: 978-178578-099-8

Text copyright © 2016 Julia Edelman Illustration copyright © 2016 Icon Books The author has asserted her moral rights

Based on and includes material from “Excerpts from Philosophers’ Breakup Letters Throughout History” © 2015 The New Yorker

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form, or by any means, without prior permission in writing from the publisher

Typeset and designed by Simmons Pugh Printed and bound in the UK by Clays Ltd, St Ives plc

For my family

About the Author

Julia Edelman grew up in New York. She studied film theory and philosophy at McGill University. Her work has appeared in The New Yorker, New York magazine, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, VICE, Cosmopolitan, Playboy, CollegeHumor, and the Believer. She lives in Brooklyn.

About the Illustrator

Hallie Bateman is a Los Angeles-based writer and illustrator. Her work can be seen on halliebateman.com

“Kant would have been one of the greatest phenomena of mankind in general if he had been able to feel love.”

Ernst Cassirer, Kant’s Life and Thought

Contents

Introduction

Falling in Love

Famous Quotes, Explained

Love Letters

Philosophers’ Missed Connections

Staying in Love

Mix Tapes

Dear Descartes: Part I

QUIZ: Getting (Meta)Physical—Who is Your Philosopher Crush?

Dear Descartes: Part II

How to Know if Your Man is Writing a Manifesto

Breaking Up

So, You Used to Date a Philosopher

Breakup Letters

If Philosophers Starred in Romantic Comedies

Glossary

A Timeline of Failed Relationships

Acknowledgments

Introduction

This is the only book you’ll ever need. You can use it as a self-defence weapon (the pages are razor-sharp), a way to carry snacks to your room when you’ve run out of plates, or a face shield for when you see your ex-dentist on the street because you still feel bad, but know moving on was for the best.

If you eventually decide to open this book, however, you’ll find that there are words and illustrations you might enjoy!

I am a writer and comedian from New York, but began this book when I was living in Montreal. It was the dead of winter, and I continued to write only because my rough drafts fed the fire that allowed me to survive. At the time, I was studying philosophy and while I should have been finishing essays for class, found myself writing about philosophers’ love lives instead. I liked thinking about Nietzsche’s best pickup lines, or what Jean-Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir’s breakup was like—and then I got the chance to turn these thoughts into a book.

If you’re reading this, you are either trying to impress someone in your Marx study group, or want to give your partner a gift that says: “Hey, I’m into you, and I feel like you also stay awake at night thinking about how small and insignificant we are in this ever-expanding universe.” Maybe your heart is broken because your lover ran off to write a manifesto, and you could use some advice for this very relatable situation. If none of the above applies, you might just be afraid of ending up like Kant. Don’t worry, we all are.

Falling in Love

Famous Quotes, Explained

History finally starts to make some sense

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.Nietzsche (Thus Spoke Zarathustra, 1891)

Nietzsche said this famous line after finally figuring out how to put together a bed frame from IKEA.

Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. Aristotle (Plato’s Symposium, c. 385–370BC)

Aristotle wrote this at a time when he wasn’t quite ready to move in with his boyfriend just yet, even though he had been hinting about it for months. They were a single soul, sure, but inhabiting two bodies, and hopefully in two separate apartments.

Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination.

Voltaire (1694–1778)

Voltaire mumbled these famous words while getting very drunk at his first Paint Nite.

At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet. Plato (428–347BC)

Plato wrote this while lamenting his lover’s recent interest in slam poetry.

To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.

Bertrand Russell (Marriage and Morals, 1929)

Russell realized he was three parts dead when he found himself running away from home. He loved his wife, but didn’t want to explain why he forgot to take out the garbage again.

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.

Carl Jung (1875–1961)

Jung used this line to defend himself after having an affair. He didn’t want to sleep with his patient, but he couldn’t deny their chemistry, either.

I swear by my life and my love of it that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.

Ayn Rand (Atlas Shrugged, 1957)

Rand spoke these words when reciting her wedding vows. No one was sure whether they were supposed to clap or not.

One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is Love.

Sophocles (496–406BC)

Sophocles was trying to give a friend advice, but it turned out that “love” does not cure cholera.

Love Letters

Philosophers abandon papers for pickup lines

The only thing I know is that I know nothing. We’ve gathered at the agora several times and discussed our shared regard for divinity, but I hardly know anything about you! Have you always been a midwife? Would you pursue virtue over material wealth? How many siblings do you have? I am ignorant of many things, but I do know something about the art of love: it’s just asking a lot of questions until the other person is too tired to go on! Shall I continue?

Socrates

Before we met, I was trapped deep within a cave, and had no way out. But you were my light, and led me out of the darkness. I’d love if the two of us could leave the cave sometime and embrace our enlightened selves over dinner. My good friend, Diogenes, is playing his harp at the first set of the sun later if you’d like to join me.

Plato