Managing Anger with CBT For Dummies E-Book

Gill Bloxham

• Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 280

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2012

Beschreibung

Defuse your anger with CBT

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is a hugely popular self-help technique, which teaches you how to break free from destructive or negative behaviors and make positive changes to both your thoughts and your actions. This practical guide to managing anger with CBT will help you to understand your anger, identify solutions to your problems, and maintain your gains and avoid relapse.

This concise, user-friendly guide provides focused advice on defusing anger using proven CBT techniques. You'll discover how to keep your anger under control and identify the negative thought processes that lead to angry outbursts.

• Shows you how to use CBT to help you react positively to frustrating situations
• Helps you learn to assert yourself effectively without losing your temper
• Gives you tried-and-true CBT techniques to let go of unhealthy anger

If you're struggling with anger management, Managing Anger with CBT For Dummies gives you the tools you need to keep your cool and live a happier, more balanced life.

Leseprobe

Managing Anger with CBT For Dummies®

Visit www.dummies.com/cheatsheet/angerwithCBT to view this book's cheat sheet.

Table of Contents

Introduction

About This Book

Conventions Used in This Book

What Not to Read

Foolish Assumptions

How This Book Is Organised

Part I: The Knowledge: Anger, CBT and Change

Part II: Managing Your Anger: Putting CBT into Action

Part III: Changing for the Better, Changing for Good

Part IV: The Part of Tens

Icons Used In This Book

Where to Go From Here

Part I: The Knowledge: Anger, CBT and Change

Chapter 1: Things You Need To Know About Anger

Grasping Normal Emotions

Following the CBT loop

Feelings about your feelings

Knowing More About Anger

Discovering the point of anger

Suffering the Consequences of Anger

Living an unhealthy lifestyle

Losing relationships

Struggling at work

Dealing with ill-health

Falling short of your potential

Using New Tactics to Manage Your Anger

Chapter 2: Knowing About CBT and Making Changes

Uncovering the Basics of CBT

Linking thought and feeling

Looking at thinking mistakes

Understanding About Thinking

Getting to the bottom of your personal attitudes and beliefs

Thinking scripts and expectations

Seeing the effects of personality style on anger

Finding out about Behaviour

Looking at physical reactions to anger

Using the trigger–reaction–results chain

Considering Making Changes

Why bother changing?

The problems anger causes you

Results: The upside of changes

Making change work

Part II: Managing Your Anger: Putting CBT into Action

Chapter 3: Investigating Your Own Anger

Using Experience to Investigate

Taking Charge of Your Anger

Understanding What Goes on When You’re Angry

Confusing anger with other feelings

Comparing anger and irritation

Taking your anger temperature

Recognising your anger style

Spotting your anger triggers

Finding the roots of your anger

Looking at the Long-Term Costs

Seeing what anger does for you

Getting into trouble because of your anger

Chapter 4: Cooling Down Your Angry Thinking

Spotting Typical Anger Triggers

‘You’re treating me badly’

‘It’s not fair’

‘It’s so frustrating’

‘Don’t be so annoying’

‘I can’t stop thinking about it’

Managing Your Angry Thinking

Spotting your angry thinking mistakes

Catching your hot thoughts

Finding evidence for your angry thoughts

Separating thinking from feeling

Replacing Unhelpful Thoughts

Stopping worry and fear in their tracks

Beating suspicion, distrust and paranoia

Seeking forgiveness, not revenge

Accepting less than perfection

Steering clear of demands and threats

Avoiding coercion and bullying

Finding the positives in any situation

Developing an Emergency Thinking First Aid Kit

Keeping anger in mind

Improving your problem solving

Caring about others

Focusing on your aims

Chapter 5: Dealing With Your Real Feelings

Feeling Balanced

Knowing your feelings better

Finding words for feelings

Looking at other feelings behind anger

Managing Your Personality Style

Clearing Up Common Myths About Feelings

Myth #1: Anger is your enemy

Myth #2: Feelings are weak

Myth #3: Hiding anger can’t hurt you

Myth #4: It’s all in the mind

Myth #5: Anger is about getting revenge

Myth #6: Grief doesn’t last long

Myth #7: Hopelessness isn’t caused by anger

Chapter 6: Changing Your Angry Behaviour

Acting Calmly

Analysing the actions of anger

Knowing your anger reactions better

Relaxing physical tension

Predicting the results of actions

Picturing answers to problems

Treating Your Body Better

Reducing your adrenaline level

Eating well

Sleeping soundly

Exercising regularly

Reducing medication

Reducing harmful substance intake

Managing pain and illness

Controlling Your Signals

Playing with a poker face

Toning down your voice

Choosing your words carefully

Talking with body language

Tackling Anger Face to Face

Pressing pause

Staying focused

Being honest

Negotiating win–win results

Handling Hidden Anger

Describing your anger style

Accepting help

Giving up payback and revenge

Chapter 7: Using Assertiveness to Bypass Anger

Defining Anger Styles

Assertiveness in action

Aggression in action

Passive aggression in action

Becoming More Assertive

Asserting Yourself: Your Rights and Responsibilities

Bringing on the benefits of assertiveness

Following basic steps to being assertive

Solving Common Problems: Tips and Tactics

Using assertive signs and signals

Saying ‘no’ and meaning ‘no’

Questioning guilty feelings

Using the ‘broken record’ technique

Dealing with criticism helpfully

Accepting that life’s not perfect

Part III: Changing for the Better, Changing for Good

Chapter 8: Changing Old Habits for New

Starting to Change

Recognising your possible future self

‘Yes, but . . .’: Avoiding excuses that block change

Learning without failing

Turning Changes into Habits

Changing your thinking

Feeling differently

Behaving in new ways

Changing old habits – some tips and tactics

Chapter 9: Getting Past Setbacks and Finding Support

Taking Two Steps Forwards and One Step Back

When Old Habits Die Hard

The ABC of behaviour change

Spotting setback triggers

Practising Positive Ways to Make Progress

Thinking tactics

Feeling tactics

Body tactics

Action tactics

Staying motivated

Keeping new habits going

Finding Help and Support

Seeking information and top-up tips

Managing in a crisis

Getting professional help

Part IV : The Part of Tens

Chapter 10: Ten Tips to Put Out the Fire When You’re Angry

Letting Anger Evaporate

Staying Motivated To Stay Cool

Having SMART Goals

Taking Time Out

Giving Up Negative Self-Talk

Accepting You’re Not Always Right

Forgiving Other People

Seeing Red but Keeping Control

Asking Whether a Fight’s Really Worth Your Energy

Finding Help in a Crisis

Chapter 11: Ten Tips for Dealing With Angry People

Turning Lemons into Lemonade

Using Your Anger Knowledge

Spending Energy Wisely

Taking Time Out

Showing Sympathy

Appreciating the Power of ‘Sorry’

Avoiding Walking on Eggshells

Dealing with Bullies

Using Cooling Tactics

Dealing with Extremes

About the Author

Cheat Sheet

Managing Anger with CBT For Dummies®

by Gill Bloxham

Managing Anger with CBT For Dummies®

Published byJohn Wiley & Sons, LtdThe AtriumSouthern GateChichesterWest SussexPO19 8SQEngland

www.wiley.com

This edition first published 2013

Copyright © 2013 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd, Chichester, West Sussex, England

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Introduction

Anger management’s a hot topic these days. Many sources claim that people are more stressed and angry now than in the generations before them. Anger is normal, a natural emotion that’s part of your survival mechanism. Anger management doesn’t try to get rid of or stop your anger. Instead, managing your anger means staying in control of your feelings, thinking before reacting. Getting the best from life is about solving problems instead of reacting in ways that cause you more trouble. I think of anger management as a life skill. Life skills are skills you learn to run your life smoothly with, such as looking after yourself, getting on with people, managing money, communicating, learning new things and solving problems. The ways you manage your anger now are the habits you’ve learned; by learning new ideas and tactics, you can make the changes you’re looking for.