Moments of Comfort E-Book

Hasson Gill

• Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 122

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2021

Beschreibung

Slow down and enjoy life's special moments! Moments of Comfort: Embracing the Joy in Life's Simple Pleasures is a beautifully illustrated book that delivers the little moments of warmth, reassurance, hope, and optimism that every so often, is just what you need to get through the day. The perfect antidote to a difficult day or a long week, Moments of Comfort explains why the small pleasures and shots of joy are so important and offers advice, perspectives, insights, and ideas into how you can include them in your everyday life. In this book, you'll get: * Practical ideas and insights into how you can take advantage of more of life's simple pleasures * Guidance on how you can find more peace, encouragement, and connection in the world around you * Advice on finding the strength to keep going through the difficulties, challenges and tough times in life Ideal for anyone looking for some encouragement and enjoyment in their life, Moments of Comfort is a perfect gift for someone you know who might need some support and reassurance, inspiration and hope right now. And of course, that someone could be you!

Leseprobe

Table of Contents

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Introduction

INHALE COURAGE EXHALE FEAR

UNDERSTANDING SADNESS

ACCEPTING WHAT HAS HAPPENED

TALKING TO OTHERS

FINDING THE GOOD IN EACH DAY

COPING WITH BEING UNWELL

MANAGING WORRY AND ANXIETY

GETTING OUT IN NATURE

TAKING THE PRESSURE OFF

HAVING ROUTINES

MY ROUTINES

BREATHE IN. BREATHE OUT.

SEEK OUT AND APPRECIATE BEAUTY

INSTANCES OF BEAUTY

ASKING FOR AND ACCEPTING HELP

BRINGING THE OUTSIDE IN

SPENDING TIME POTTERING

DEALING WITH RUDENESS

THE TINY FROGS

FINDING A WAY TO FORGIVE

WALKING MEDITATIONS

HOLIDAYS AND SHORT BREAKS

TEA RITUAL

HAVING THE RIGHT WORDS

MUSIC AND SONG

WARMING COMFORT

OVERCOMING LONELINESS

SPENDING TIME WITH YOUR DOG

FINDING SPIRITUALITY

FEELING GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF

BE INSPIRED BY OTHER PEOPLE

HAVING PATIENCE

GAINING PERSPECTIVE

TO EVERYTHING, A SEASON

THE CHINESE FARMER'S TALE

READING POSITIVE NEWS

MANAGING STRESS

COMFORTING FOOD

FIVE SENSES MEDITATION

INDULGING IN SMALL PLEASURES

MY SMALL PLEASURES

GETTING TO SLEEP

REMINISCING AND NOSTALGISING

LAUGHING MORE

FINDING FLOW

MANAGING DISAPPOINTMENT

ACCEPTING THAT ALL THINGS COME AND GO

BEGINNING AGAIN

BUILDING YOUR COURAGE

SAYING AFFIRMATIONS

MY AFFIRMATIONS

BEING IN AWE

THE POWER OF POETRY

A POEM TO REMEMBER

CREATING HOPE AND MOVING ON

EASING BACK INTO LIFE AFTER AN ILLNESS

MANAGING SETBACKS

CREATING A COMFORT BOX

JOURNALING

COPING WITH GRIEF

FURTHER SUPPORT AND ADVICE

MORE QUOTES FOR COMFORT

MY NOTES

About the Author

About the Illustrator

End User License Agreement

Guide

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Introduction

Table of Contents

Begin Reading

My Notes

About the Author

About the Illustrator

End User License Agreement

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Moments of Comfort

Embracing the Joy in Life's Simple Pleasures

Gill Hasson

Illustrated by Eliza Todd

This edition first published 2022

© 2022 by Gill Hasson

Cover and interior layout/illustrations by Eliza Todd.

Registered office

John Wiley & Sons Ltd, The Atrium, Southern Gate, Chichester, West Sussex, PO19 8SQ, United Kingdom

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Hasson, Gill, author.

Title: Moments of comfort : embracing the joy in life's simple pleasures / Gill Hasson.

Description: First edition. | Hoboken : Wiley, 2022.

Identifiers: LCCN 2021038691 (print) | LCCN 2021038692 (ebook) | ISBN 9780857089205 (cloth) | ISBN 9780857089229 (adobe pdf) | ISBN 9780857089212 (epub)

Subjects: LCSH: Joy. | Motivation (Psychology) | Self-actualization (Psychology)

Classification: LCC BF575.H27 H3846 2022 (print) | LCC BF575.H27 (ebook) | DDC 152.4/2--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021038691

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021038692

This one is for you Hannah. Xx

Introduction

‘Cure sometimes, treat often, comfort always.’ Hippocrates

Whether you're going through a tough time in your life or you're just feeling down – you've had a bad day, or it's been a long week – when life is difficult and you feel more like crying than carrying on, you need to do what you can to make things a bit easier and feel a little better.

Rather than struggle on thinking that you've got to pull yourself together and get on with it, it's important to know that it's OK not to be OK; it's OK to be sad and upset, to feel stressed, worried or anxious. It's important to know that what you need is kindness and some thoughtful attentions that will comfort you.

The good news is that you can provide that kindness and care for yourself. You don't have to make a big effort or make big changes; there are so many things that can bring you moments of comfort and small shots of joy. Moments of Comfort explains what they are and in what ways they can provide you with peace, encouragement and connection, strengthen and inspire you with hope.

Many of the subjects – such as gaining perspective and patience, beginning again, getting out in nature, building courage and managing setbacks – I've written about before, in my books on mindfulness, positive thinking and emotional intelligence. I've included them in Moments of Comfort because the concepts of mindfulness, positive thinking etc. have such simple, sound advice for managing adversity; for navigating the difficulties and challenges in life.

Throughout this book, the advice is not to ignore, deny or suppress feelings such as sadness, disappointment, frustration and anger, but to take an acceptance and commitment approach. ‘Acceptance and commitment’ is a concept from mindfulness which suggests that you don't challenge or suppress thoughts and feelings that arise from adversity. Instead, you consciously notice and accept your thoughts and feelings. You accept that it's OK to think and feel whatever you think and feel. However, you don't get stuck in those thoughts and feelings; instead, sooner rather than later, you move on – you commit yourself – to more helpful thoughts and solutions.

If, for example, you'd had a bad day, you'd acknowledge the difficulties and the upset – maybe you'd rant and rave, maybe you'd tell someone else about it – but you wouldn't stay stuck in what happened. Instead, after a short while you'd move on and commit yourself to thinking about what you can do now – in the present – to lessen the upset, the stress or the pain.

An acceptance and commitment approach is effective because when you acknowledge and accept that things have been difficult, you let go of the emotional aspects and allow the rational, logical part of your mind to start working for you; to think in more helpful, positive ways. Ways that can bring you some comfort and a little bit of joy. It's a mindful approach because it emphasises that no matter what has happened there's always something positive that you can do now, in the present.

The songwriter and author Nick Cave has explained this well. In answer to a question on The Red Hand Files website (www.theredhandfiles.com) about how he perceives ‘the utility of suffering’ and how to bear it, he replied: ‘We either transform our suffering into something else, or we hold on to it, and eventually pass it on … To not transform our suffering compounds suffering.’ Further on in his reply, Nick Cave suggests that we ‘transform our suffering into kindness and compassion … acting compassionately (is) an alchemical act that transforms pain into beauty. This is good. This is beautiful.’

It's true. We can't eradicate suffering, but we can learn to navigate it and eventually transform suffering so that there are some aspects that are positive; aspects that provide moments of comfort and sparks of joy.

UNDERSTANDING SADNESS

Whatever the difficulties or challenges and whatever the circumstances, when you've experienced something that leaves you feeling sad, upset, let down or disappointed, it helps to have a better understanding of those emotions.

It may be hard to believe, but feelings of sadness are there for a good reason; they actually have a positive intent. What's the positive intent? It's to slow down your mind and body to give you time to take in your new circumstances and accept that what has happened has happened. And that nothing can change that. Acknowledge your sadness. Tell yourself that you have every right to feel upset. Berating yourself for feeling upset just creates an additional burden.

It is OK to be sad and upset. You might think, ‘I shouldn't be so upset. What's wrong with me?’ There's nothing wrong with you. You simply need to accept sadness for what it is; a temporary and useful state that can help you adjust – to get used to changed, different circumstances – and to accommodate the changes and learn to live with them.

Whether you've been let down or disappointed or you've suffered a loss or major life change, be kind to yourself; don't expect too much of yourself, your mind needs time to catch up with and process the changes in you life; your new reality.

ACCEPTING WHAT HAS HAPPENED

‘Acceptance doesn't mean resignation; it means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it.’ – Michael J Fox

Acceptance means understanding that something has or has not happened. Acceptance means understanding that you cannot change what has or hasn't already happened. Right now, something is what it is. What could be more futile than resisting what already is?

Acceptance doesn't mean you have to resign yourself to something; to give in. It doesn't mean you can't do anything about what's happened, but before you do, you need to accept what has brought you to this point; to this present moment.

In fact, in what's known as the ‘acceptance paradox’, acceptance is what makes change possible. If you don't acknowledge and accept what has happened, it's difficult to move on from that point. But once you do accept something, rather than react to it – take impulsive, opposing action – you can respond to it; act thoughtfully and favourably.

So do remember that when you stop dwelling on what could, should or shouldn't have happened, you free your mind to be able to focus on what to do next.

‘God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.’ – Reinhold Niebuhr

Whatever it is – you've lost your job, a relationship has ended or you're unwell – acknowledge what has happened. You can acknowledge it by saying it in your head or you can say it out loud; describe what has happened. You might find it helpful to write down what's happened.

Acknowledge your feelings too. It's not helpful to resist, deny, ignore or suppress your feelings about what's happened. Allow yourself to feel upset, disappointed, frustrated or angry. Cry if you feel like it. Crying is cathartic; it helps relieve emotional tension. It unifies your thoughts, feelings and physical body.

Give yourself time but don't get stuck in resenting what happened and railing about it. Know that rumination – going over and over your feelings of sadness and disappointment or frustration and anger – can't go on for ever. With acceptance, you don't hold on to thoughts, feelings, situations and events. You understand that they are part of the past. At some point you need to let go and move on. And sometimes, that might be in a different direction.

TALKING TO OTHERS

You might feel as if few people, if any, understand what you're going through. Often, other people don't know what to do or say so they do or say nothing. So even though you're the one who's facing a tough time you may need to be the one to get in touch.