Our Little Life E-Book

Dodie Bishop

• Herausgeber: Next Chapter
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2022

Beschreibung

It’s 1676 and ‘spirits’ are stalking the kingdom. When eight-year-old Penny is kidnapped outside Whitehall Palace and spirited away to the West Indies, how can Susannah and Raphael hope to save her?

Arriving in Jamaica, they reunite with Sam Carter – Penny’s natural father – and Noah and Hal Bartholomew. And so, the desperate search to find her begins: a race against time, treachery and powerful enemies.

After many fruitless months sailing the Caribbean, seemingly genuine information about a sugar plantation where Penny might be sends them back to Barbados. But are they already too late?

A riveting historical adventure set in 17th century West Indies, Our Little Life is the second book in Dodie Bishop's 'Silence And Shadows' series.

Leseprobe

Our Little Life

SILENCE AND SHADOWS BOOK 2

DODIE BISHOP

Contents

Prologue

1. Raphael

2. Susannah

3. Raphael

4. Noah

5. Hal

6. Noah

7. Susannah

8. Raphael

9. Susannah

10. Raphael

11. Susannah

12. Raphael

13. Susannah

14. Raphael

15. Susannah

16. Noah

17. Susannah

18. Susannah

19. Noah

20. Raphael

21. Raphael

22. Susannah

23. Raphael

24. Hal

25. Noah

26. Raphael

27. Noah

28. Susannah

29. Noah

30. Raphael

31. Hal

32. Raphael

33. Susannah

34. Raphael

35. Susannah

36. Raphael

37. Susannah

38. Noah

39. Hal

40. Noah

41. Raphael

42. Susannah

43. Raphael

44. Noah

45. Hal

46. Raphael

47. Susannah

48. Noah

49. Hal

50. Noah

51. Hal

52. Noah

53. Hal

54. Raphael

Epilogue

Author’s Note

Next in the Series

About the Author

Copyright (C) 2022 Dodie Bishop

Layout design and Copyright (C) 2022 by Next Chapter

Published 2022 by Next Chapter

Edited by Graham (Fading Street Services)

Cover art by CoverMint

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the author’s permission.

For my husband, Alan, always eager for the next instalment

And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,

Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff

As dreams are made on, and our little life

Is rounded with a sleep.

Shakespeare,The Tempest Act 4, Scene 1.

Prologue

SUMMER, 1676

Raphael

Our sail to fetch Penny home from Hampshire was rather more comfortable than our earlier one returning from Southampton, after leaving her safely at Chewton Court with Susannah’s grandmother when threats were made to her life. This time our passage was arranged by Susannah’s father, though the King must have had a hand in it too or someone had on his behalf, for we were given the captain’s spacious cabin on a Royal Navy Man-o’-War first rate ship of the line, taking up the whole width of the aftcastle beneath expansive windows. After a dawn sailing, and with the speed expected of this ship, the captain would reclaim his space overnight so no one would be ousted to a hammock with the crew as had been expected of me on that first voyage.

We boarded HMS Persephone at the Deptford victualling yard where she was being made ready for a voyage to the Americas and would land us at Southampton before heading out to the Atlantic. That this passage took only three days to arrange proved the level of influence behind it. We learnt from Sir Richard that the King would grant us a marriage ceremony in the Chapel Royal at Whitehall on our return. Not something I had ever foreseen in any notion of my future … just like my spell in the Tower. And this time my father would be overjoyed. Though he would not learn of it from me. Cristo. I began to understand just how different my life would be now as Susannah’s husband. Eighty guns and a six-hundred-man crew would do that.

Lady Sylvia’s coach waited for us on the dockside when we were delivered there by one of the ship’s tenders in mid-afternoon after making excellent time with a favourable wind, and we were soon on our way back to Chewton Court and Penny. ‘She’ll be overjoyed to see you. You’ve been apart for rather longer than we’d expected, I think.’

‘And I shall be overjoyed to see her.’

She did indeed look very happy at the prospect and the contrast her appearance made now with the last time we had travelled together in this coach – on our way back to London with Sam Carter still imprisoned in the Tower – was remarkable. ‘You look quite breathtaking, caramia.’

She closed her eyes. ‘I think we both look a little more relaxed now.’ Yet she chewed her lip, still. ‘So, I must tell Penny I’m her mother? It feels rather daunting now I truly have to face it.’

I put my arm around her. ‘I’m sure she’ll accept it without question. Children do at this age.’ I shrugged. ‘So much knowledge comes from what they’re told.’

She smiled. ‘I don’t think I can tell her Sam is her father yet. How could she understand? It’s probably best to make one revelation at a time. Though–’

I moved in to kiss her. ‘Don’t try to plan it too much.’ I kissed her again, which turned out to be a very pleasant, if frustrating, way of passing quite a considerable amount of time. After a while we were forced to stop, for consummating our desire in a moving coach in broad daylight seemed neither feasible nor entirely proper. I rested my head back against the soft squabs, whilst Susannah stared out of the window. We were driving through what appeared to be an extensive tract of woodland. We both panted a little. ‘That was probably somewhat foolish of us.’

‘Never start what you cannot finish.’

This made us laugh like silly children which took up further time.

Susannah fanned herself. ‘Glazed windows are all very well but not without means to open them.’

‘Perhaps our activities haven’t been especially helpful?’

She gave me a look suggesting my words were superfluous before putting her hand inside my shirt again, still untucked from our earlier goings on. ‘It’s fine for you. You’ve shed your coat and waistcoat while I have nothing I can decently remove.’

She moved her hand down towards my breeches. ‘Stop, I beg you–’ She did not.

‘I think I’ll make you a little hotter. See how you enjoy it.’ She did halt then and flew to the window. ‘Jesu. We’re very nearly there.’

She laughed, watching me try desperately to tuck-in my shirt, and struggle into my waistcoat and coat. My cravat had gone missing somewhere on the floor as had the tie for my hair. In truth, Susannah’s hair looked somewhat dishevelled too, and her pale green gown decidedly creased. ‘Merda.’ We would arrive looking like we had just been … well, doing what we had been.

‘Er, Raphael?’

I looked at her and saw she held my cravat and ribbon. ‘And when I said nearly there, I didn’t actually mean all that close. Forgive me.’ Her lips twitched.

I frowned. ‘How close is not all that close, exactly?’ I began to feel decidedly suspicious.

Her eyes widened. ‘Perhaps, half an hour or so.’

I grinned and moved to her, taking her face in my hands. ‘Perfect. Shall I now remove all your clothing so you might arrive at your grandmother’s naked?’ I kept my face entirely serious, shifting to pin her so she could not move at all, one hand already reaching behind her to find the laces to her skirts.

Her eyes widened and she took a sharp breath. ‘For God’s sake, Raphael. I beg you, don’t.’

I saw something cross her face so fleetingly I barely had time to register it. ‘Cara?’ I pulled her to me and spoke softly into her ear. ‘Very well. Not now but I give you my word I shall do so later.’ I shifted to search her face. And became even more alarmed. ‘You didn’t really think I’d do it here?’

She moved away, appearing vexed and uncertain. ‘How would I know what you might do. You’re Italian.’

Said with the same sense of suspicious disdain her grandmother had once used to me. I laughed. Though, in truth, I was not amused at all. I was dismayed. ‘Si. I’m found out. Undressing ladies in moving coaches is indeed a common pastime for my countrymen.’ Thinking of it though, I had probably spoken more truth than I meant.

She gave me a hard stare. ‘Hmm.’

I smiled and watched her, holding her gaze. Hoping. Waiting for her to come back to me. When she sighed and returned into my arms, I closed my eyes. Thank God. ‘Forgive me, cara. I frightened you, I think.’ I must be more careful with her. Perhaps we did not know each other quite as well as we thought we did. But we would. I crossed myself.

‘What?’

I shrugged. ‘Habit.’

She kissed me for some minutes and then was quite herself again. ‘Well, you can make it up to me later.’

‘I intend to. Believe me.’

‘Come here.’ She lifted my cravat and fastened it for me. ‘Turn.’ She smoothed my hair with her fingers and tied it back.

Now it was my turn to tidy hers, pinning up the loose strands. ‘There. We’re respectable again.’

‘And just in time for now we are truly arrived.’

When the coach clattered in under the gate arch and on up the gravel drive towards the house and the sea beyond, I felt her press against me. ‘Don’t be afraid.’

She laughed, shakily. ‘I think I am, a little. Penny is about to discover not only am I able to speak, but also I’m her mother.’

‘She’ll be delighted by both.’

We halted in front of the marble porticoed porch where Penny waited, beaming, and almost quivering with excitement holding Lady Sylvia’s hand while she restrained her – with both her words and a firm grip – from running down the steps to climb inside the coach with us, I felt sure. When we were safely out onto the gravel, she was released to cannon down the steps straight into Susannah’s arms before trying to hug us both at the same time.

‘Do let them to come inside, child.’

Penny ran back up, watching us eagerly as we followed after her. ‘Are you and Raphael truly married now, Sukie? Grandmama says you are?’

Susannah hugged her and glanced at me, smiling. ‘Yes, little one.’

Her eyes widened when Susannah spoke, though she said nothing. I wondered why? But more, I wondered how Susannah and I could possibly be together at all? It seemed unreal.

‘She held out her ring for Penny to admire. ‘Raphael made it for me.’

‘Oh, Sukie, it’s so beautiful.’ She turned to me. ‘You must be very clever to make such a thing for my sister.’

‘He is.’ Susannah offered her hand to her grandmother.

Smiling, she ran a finger lightly over it. ‘It is indeed exquisite.’ She pulled her granddaughter into her arms, kissing her on both cheeks. Then she held out her hands to me and did the same. ‘Welcome to our family, Raphael.’ She grasped Penny’s shoulders. ‘Run down to the kitchens and ask Sarah to have tea sent up, there’s a good girl.’ She moved away. ‘Come. Let’s go in. It’s a little late for tea but no matter.’

Susannah and I followed her to the drawing room.

‘How did you know we were handfast?’ Susannah said. ‘The King has granted us a ceremony in the Chapel Royal when we return.’

Handfast. An English custom she had told me, joined us for life when I placed my ring upon her finger.

‘Sit.’ Lady Sylvia gestured to a sofa. ‘Your father has written to me, so I know Sam is safe, thank the Lord. I did tell Penny some of what he said, too. She knows you have recovered from the illness that took your voice. I suggested she not question you about it.’ Her nostrils flared. ‘And, as you are already living as man and wife, I thought it simpler to tell her you were married and leave it at that. Handfast is not an easy concept to explain.’ She cleared her throat. ‘Though, I believe it is still quite common amongst the poorer sort.’

‘You haven’t told her–’

‘Of course not. That’s something only you can do. And, in due course, who her father is.’

‘Papa told you?’

She sighed. ‘Don’t be tiresome, Susannah. Why would you imagine I needed to be told?’

She looked bewildered and then upset. ‘So, everyone knew when I thought no one did.’

I took Susannah’s hand. ‘Yet you understood she should not marry him?’

‘I did.’

Susannah looked away, her eyes bright with unshed tears.

‘May I ask you why?’

She sighed, appearing resigned. ‘When Susannah would not name her child’s father, though Jane and I thought it must be Sam, but when she refused still, we accepted it. Then I was made aware of the company he kept at court in a letter from someone who thinks to amuse me with all the latest gossip there. Though we never understood how Susannah knew he was a sodomite–’

‘No.’ Susannah stood. ‘How dare you. How is this anything to do with you? I won’t have it.’

I rose, too, and grasped her hand again. ‘It doesn’t matter anymore.’

She looked at me, taking a long breath before placing her palm on my face. ‘I know, my love.’

Lady Sylvia watched us. ‘Forgive me, Susannah, you’re right. It’s not my business to speculate about such things.’

She held out her hand and Susannah went to her, kissing her forehead. ‘No. You must forgive me for becoming so heated. I’m only now beginning to understand so much of it myself.’ She glanced at me. ‘Because Raphael is helping me.’

Penny dashed in then, followed by a footman carrying a tray of tea things. She sat between us, telling of her time at Chewton Court interrupted by bites of cake and gulps of milk. ‘I’ve ridden nearly every day and been sailing lots with Sir Douglas on Gloria. That’s his yacht he keeps at Mudeford.’ She looked at her Lady Sylvia. ‘He is Grandmama’s special friend.’

Susannah looked at her, too, raising her eyebrows. ‘Special friend? Really? But how intriguing.’

Lady Sylvia coloured. ‘An old friend back from the Americas. Penny dear, tell Susannah and Raphael about Joshua.’

Penny leapt to her feet. ‘You must come and see him. He’s so beautiful, Sukie.’

‘Who’s Joshua?’

‘Madrigal’s foal.’

Susannah turned back to Sylvia. ‘And you called him Joshua? Why? It’s horrible. Surely something musical like his dam?’

I noticed Penny blushing and crestfallen. ‘Did you choose his name, piccola?’

She nodded. ‘It’s Kitty’s little brother’s name.’ She chewed her lip just as Susannah does. I touched her cheek. ‘Well, I like it.’

Susannah pulled her into her arms, kissing her. ‘It is a lovely name now I know why you chose it, my sweeting.’

‘Will you take us to see him?’

She smiled again. ‘Oh, yes, Raphael. He’s so tiny. Leeman only let them out into the paddock for the first time this morning.’

Lady Sylvia placed her empty teacup down onto the tray. ‘Fetch her an apple, then you can be sure she’ll come to you. Joshua will stay with her.’

Penny scampered away to do as asked.

Sylvia studied Susannah for a few moments. ‘She foaled two days ago. Penny was very interested in the birth. I believe some explanation had been given to her friend when the new infant arrived which was passed on to Penny, naturally.’ She raised her eyebrows. ‘So, while the foal might prove a useful way of raising the subject, you may also face some rather unexpected questions.’

Susannah looked at me. ‘Well, I’m certain nothing will faze you.’

I raised my eyebrows. In truth, though, very few things did.

When Penny returned with an apple cut into pieces on a tin plate, I stood and offered Susannah my hand. ‘Come. Let’s be introduced.’

We found the mare and foal, both glossy black and long-legged, in the field behind the red-brick, cupolaed stable block.

Penny climbed onto the bottom fence rail, clinging to the top one. ‘Madrigal. Madrigal.’ She held out the plate with her other hand. ‘Apple. It’s apple for you, Maddie.’

The horse raised her head and seemed to contemplate for a moment before walking slowly towards us, without a thought for the suckling foal that had to scramble away and chase after her. Penny fed her the pieces which were accepted with great delicacy from her hand.

Susannah dropped onto her knees to look at the foal who stood staring back at her. ‘He’s so beautiful.’ She looked up at the mare. ‘What a clever girl you are, Madrigal.’ Then she glanced up at me. ‘This is her first foal.’ When Penny knelt down beside her, Susannah put her arm around her and pulled her close.

I stroked the mare’s velvet nose. ‘Sei una ragazza carina.’ I looked down at them. Shall I leave you for a while, cara?’

‘Jesu, no. Sit down here with us, Raphael.’ She patted the long grass beside her.

I did as she asked, and we all sat close together in the early evening sunshine. I looked down at Penny, startled to recognise her dark blue almond-shaped eyes. They were Sam’s. ‘Susannah?’ I nodded. There seemed little point in delaying it.

Taking a deep breath, she nodded her agreement. ‘Penny?’

She turned to her, smiling. ‘Yes?’

Susannah swallowed. ‘There’s something I must tell you.’ She glanced at me, then back at Penny. ‘I hope it’ll make you happy–’

‘Are you to have a child, Sukie?’ She clapped her hands. ‘That would make me very happy. I could help care for him like Kitty does with her Joshua.’

Susannah hugged her. ‘Yes, I hope so. I hope I shall, but that’s not it.’ Another long breath. Another glance at me. ‘When I do, though, it will be my second.’ She gazed intently at her. Because you, my dearest little one, were my first.’

Penny frowned. Then her eyes went wide. ‘Are you saying you are my mama? But how can you be when you’re my sister?’

Susannah closed her eyes and pulled Penny into her arms again. ‘I’ve always been your mama. It made me sad I had to pretend to be your sister.’ She glanced up at me once more. ‘But I don’t have to do that anymore, dear one.’

‘You mean you truly are my mama? Please say you are?’ She clutched at Susannah’s arms.

Susannah smiled, nodding. ‘I am, Sweetheart. That’s just what I’m saying. I’m your mama. I was very young. The family … well … it had to be a secret until now.’

Penny pulled away, frowning once more. ‘So, Papa is your papa–’

‘And your grandpapa. Though he will love you just as he always has. That will never change.’

They clung to each other. And I knew Susannah would weep, especially as I blinked away a tear myself. Poor little Penny. How happy she must be to have a mama again. There would be many questions as she began to understand it, though I felt sure we both knew what the next one would be.

Penny looked up at me. ‘Are you my papa? Did you put me in Su … Mama’s belly?

Susannah’s eyes widened. ‘No, Penny. We didn’t know each other then.’

‘But you can be, can’t you? I want you to be my papa, Raphael.’

I smiled. ‘Of course, piccola. I’m married to your mama, which makes me your step-papa.’

‘So may I call you Papa?’

I hoped my face did not betray the great wave of emotion that request brought. There was so much Susannah still did not know. Christ, I must tell her. But when? How? I bowed. ‘I would be most honoured, Signorina.’

She scrambled to her feet and this time launched herself into my arms. Santo Dio. It is hard to put into words how I felt at that moment when my past and future seemed to come together. I now had a wife and a daughter. I held her close and knew it would be my duty to protect them both for the rest of my life. It was a duty that both terrified me and filled me with indescribable joy. I truly felt God’s blessing upon me then … and his forgiveness, too. I set Penny down and kissed her forehead before standing and offering my hand to Susannah. I helped her to her feet and into my arms for a long kiss. Penny watched us, looking very pleased indeed.

Back in the drawing room, she ran to her grandmother, clutching her hands. ‘Sukie is my mama and Raphael is my papa. I’m so happy.’

Lady Sylvia looked rather content herself. ‘Well, isn’t that just wonderful. Now take the plate back down to the kitchens and ask one of the girls to give your sticky hands a good wipe.’

Sylvia waited until we were alone and turned to me. ‘She doesn’t think you her natural father?’

I shook my head. ‘Being her step-papa seemed enough. For now, at least.’

Susannah put her head onto my shoulder. ‘She’ll need to know about Sam. She’s loved him her whole life.’ She frowned. ‘And when she’s old enough I must try to explain why we didn’t marry.’

‘Well, that’s some time away yet, I imagine.’ Sylvia stood. ‘I need to talk to cook. Your room is ready. I’ll have hot water sent up. I expect you’d like to bathe?’

‘Thank you, Grandmama. Where have you put us?’

‘La Chambre Fenêtre.’

Susannah nodded and put her arm through mine. ‘Where you were last time.’

I held her face between my hands. ‘You did so well with Penny, cara. I was very proud of you.’ I moved in to kiss her, but a knock on the door parted us. Three footmen brought in a copper bathtub, a stack of towels and two large churns of steaming water. The bath was set down beside the hearth, lined with towels and quickly filled and steaming.

When we were alone, I took off my coat and waistcoat and began undressing her. And when she stood before me naked, her flaxen hair cloaked around her, I kissed her. This time there was a bed and, well, not unsurprisingly it took very little time for either of us to slake our need. ‘So have I kept my promise?’ I said, kissing her, still catching my breath.

She smiled against my lips. ‘For now, my love.’

Smiling too, I moved from the bed, holding out my hand to help her stand. ‘Come. The water will cool.’ I helped her down into the bath and kneeling, lifted a pot of lavender-scented soap and a small sponge to wash her before picking up a pewter pitcher. ‘Close your eyes.’ She did, and I poured water to wash her hair. I handed her a towel to dry her face before soaping it and rinsing again, then taking the towel from her, I began drying the wet strands.

‘May I ask you something, Raphael?’

‘Of course.’

‘How is it possible to love you like this? It fills me. It overflows from me. It’s difficult to even comprehend it.’

I closed my eyes, almost overcome by her words. ‘Cristo, dovrei sentire queste parole. It is the same for me, Susannah. You’re a part of my soul.’ I think we both wept a little in the steam and kissed a little before I helped her out and into a towel.

A short while later, I kissed her neck tying her laces, helping her to dress for dinner. ‘Your hair is a touch damp, still.’

She turned to feel mine. ‘Yours is very wet. It’s such a thick mane. You must leave it loose to dry.’

I thought, then, of her tenderness as she washed me, every touch telling me of her love. And how had we ever found each other? Florence. London. How? I thought of Plato’s Symposium. For we had truly found our soulmates. Our other halves. Philosophy. A Greek myth I had thought it. I crossed myself.

She touched my arm. ‘What?’

I shook my head, lifting her silver clip from the toilet table to wind her hair up into a simple twist. ‘You look stunningly beautiful tonight.’ She wore the same indigo gown I had admired the last time we had been here together when everything had been so very different.

She placed her palm against my face. ‘And you look very fine indeed, particularly without that rather unpleasant waistcoat.’

‘Merda. I thought you hadn’t noticed it.’

She smoothed my hair and kissed me. ‘I didn’t think you wore it to sell Grandmama sapphires, it just reminds me of, well–’ She shook her head. ‘No matter. Let’s go down or the hour will become overly late for Penny.’

I touched her chin, moving her head so she looked at me. ‘Cara, I must still sell gems at court and the women were never part of it. You know that.’ But they had been a bonus, had they not? And one so often made available to me.

‘Of course I do.’

I took her hand. ‘Come.’

In the dining room, we were seated as we had been the last time with Penny already beside Lady Sylvia, though she rose to kiss us. ‘Mama. Papa.’

I looked at Susannah. It would take some getting used to for both of us. ‘You and your mama look especially pretty this evening.’

Penny smiled and blushed just like her mother. ‘Thank you, Papa.’

After a supper of scallops in a rich butter and parsley sauce, a lattice-topped capon pie, loin of lamb with plums and a summer pudding, just as before, Susannah left with Penny to take her to bed leaving me alone with Lady Sylvia. The difference this time being a kiss from them both and Penny calling me Papa.

‘That must seem very odd to you, Raphael?’

I looked at her, remembering her hostility when last we sat here alone. ‘No. Meravigliosa. Not odd at all. Wonderful.’ How startling it must be to see her granddaughter happy with me.

She seemed to read my thoughts. ‘I’m very glad to see Susannah so happy and to know she can have a life with you.’

I tilted my head, studying her. ‘But perhaps not quite the one you had once hoped for her?’

She laughed. ‘Well, perhaps not but things changed, did they not? And when circumstances change then aspirations must change with them.’

‘Indeed.’ I finished my wine. ‘You asked me before if I were her lover. You warned me to leave her alone, and I understood it was because you thought me not good enough for her. Well, I wasn’t her lover, but I did love her then.’

She placed her hand over mine. ‘Raphael. You know now why I said you could harm her. I could see the way you looked at each other. You cannot blame me for being concerned for her, surely?’

I moved my hand away. She sighed. ‘No. But I can blame you for assuming I could get her with child and abandon her. I can blame you for not asking if I loved her.’

She looked down. ‘Yes. Forgive me. I should not have made such assumptions about either of you. You will be a wonderful husband for my granddaughter and a wonderful father to Penny and your own children, too, I’m sure.’

I forced a smile. Why was it so difficult? ‘I intend to be.’ What could I say now? She did not think me good enough for Susannah alone, but Susannah with Penny was a different proposition. And I thanked God for her. I thanked God for them both. I crossed myself. She saw and said nothing. But what was I thinking? Why should I expect any different? And despite all this, Susannah was my wife. What more could I ever wish for? I took a breath. ‘Susannah was close to her mother. I know it was hard for her when she lost her.’

‘My daughter.’ She closed her eyes for a moment.

I was suitably chastened. ‘Forgive me.’

She waved her hand in dismissal. ‘It was hard for all of us.’ She poured more wine. ‘They were very close just as I was with Jane and Susannah is now with Penny. It’s not always so. I hated my own mother. Thank God we seem to have bred that out of us.’

I thought of my father. Though I did not hate him, I was merely indifferent to him now. ‘Perhaps you learned from her how not to be a mother?’

‘Perhaps I did.’ She looked at me with renewed interest. ‘For if I were ever uncertain what to do as one, I would think of how she would act and generally do the opposite.’

I rather thought I would take the same approach with my father. My children’s lives would belong to them, not to me.

The door opened behind me, and Susannah joined us again. ‘She’s asleep. There were questions.’ She raised her eyebrows, looking at me. ‘I’ll tell you later. Now, mothers and daughters? I heard from outside.’ She kissed her grandmother’s cheek followed by my lips for more than a few moments. Lady Sylvia cleared her throat. Susannah laughed and sat down beside me. ‘What about fathers and sons, Raphael? Tell us about that.’

‘Well, I believe it is more Italian sons and their mothers, no? I’m very close to mine, as you know, cara. Perhaps difficulty between a father and son is more common for us? We think more of fathers with their daughters.’ But for mine there was not even that.

Susannah took my hand and kissed it. ‘You haven’t spoken of him much.’

I smiled. Beside his penchant for mistresses. Though I was unsure whether I wished to in front of Lady Sylvia. Yet it appeared I had little choice. So, in that case, I would be as perverse as possible. If Sylvia despised artisans, she would get them. ‘At fourteen, my father was apprenticed to a distinguished jeweller in Rome. His name will mean nothing to you, so I shall not trouble you with it.’ I saw a faint look of distaste cross her face. I smiled again. ‘At twenty-one he began our business in Florence. He chose the city for its dearth of high-quality competition at that time, and its position as the centre for all of Tuscany, but mostly for the court of Grand Duke Cosimo de’ Medici. My mother is a Florentina and also from a family of jewellers. The Morettis were his main competitors there, so the alliance was an important one. She worked with my father after their marriage. In Italy, a family business means just that. All the family contribute.’

‘Your sisters too?’

‘Of course, cara. Usually only until they marry when their husband’s interests take over. Claudia would still come back if needed, though. Perhaps if there were a large commission or the workshop was particularly busy.’

‘What about you, Raphael?’

We faced each other now. This was a conversation between only us. ‘I absorbed it, of course I did. I can’t remember not knowing how to cut and polish a stone or fashion a chain. But Papà had a different plan for me. I was sent to Latin School. Then to Rome for three years with his old master. After that I returned home until he judged me ready to go to Paris and sell to the French court.’ I shrugged. ‘Then he changed his mind, and I was taught rather rudimentary English and sent to London instead. He thought the profligacy of the English court a better prospect. After so long under puritan rule, he decided there would be a good market for our sort of jewellery and gems and fewer established competitors.’

‘Expensive jewellery perfect for a King’s many mistresses. And all things Italian very much in vogue at court.’ Her expression told me she included me in this. I raised my eyebrows, making her smile. Hers rose to mirror mine. ‘So, there is a high demand. He was right.’ Susannah stood. ‘I am quite tired, Raphael, I think we should retire.’

I grinned and finished my wine. ‘I agree, cara.’ Though, I thought she looked far from tired.

Lady Sylvia had a strange expression on her face when Susannah kissed her goodnight. When I did the same, I actually felt a touch sorry for her.

In our bedchamber, we sat on armchairs before the window, looking out at the full moon hanging low over the sea, sending its gleaming track down across the water until clouds made white by its light raced across the sky. After a time, she turned to me. ‘I think you misjudge her. Her father was a tailor. Perhaps your papa’s life reminded her of his. She married into the landed gentry and wanted the nobility for me because of her beginnings. My mother married for love to a friend of an exiled King. Raphael, she is truly happy for us.’

I closed my eyes. Is she? I tried hard to believe it was so. ‘Che sciocco sono stato. ‘Perhaps I’ve been the prejudiced one, when I thought it was she. I’ll apologise in the morning.’

She reached across to pat my hand. ‘She’s very taken with you. You’ve cast your spell over her just as you always do, my love.’

I sighed. ‘What is this spell I know nothing of?’

‘But you do.’ She stood and I stood with her. ‘You know it perfectly well.’

‘Come. Let’s go to bed. I know how tired you are, cara.’

She took my hand and walked with me. ‘Not so tired, in truth.’

I kissed her. ‘No, that’s not what I meant.’ I slapped my forehead. ‘My English, eh? What I meant was, I know how tired you will be.’ Yet we made it into bed with only kissing. There would be more. But this was good, too. ‘Do you remember what you said about how kissing makes you feel?’

‘Yes. It makes me feel like this.’

I sighed. ‘I think I need to talk to you.’ She frowned and I smoothed the line between her brows with my thumb. ‘About this afternoon in the coach–’

‘It was just foolishness. We were play-acting. Why are you so concerned?’

I propped myself up on an elbow to look down at her. I could see her quite clearly in the moonlight. ‘You were afraid of me.’

She reached up to touch my face. ‘How could I ever be afraid of you? I was pretending, Raphael.’

‘Play-acting?’ Could it be true?

‘Yes. It was childish and silly. We are responsible parents now.’ Her eyes danced. ‘Let’s never do it again.’

I shook my head. ‘Cara, I saw something on you face for a moment. I’m sure of it. I thought it was fear.’

‘Jesu. I think I know. It was when you held me so tight, I couldn’t move?’

I nodded.

‘That wasn’t fear, Raphael. It was … recognition. I realised just how powerless women are against a man’s strength. How easy they are to hurt. To rape–’

‘Cristo.’ I felt completely lost. ‘You thought I would rape you?’

She pulled away to look at me. ‘What? Why would I think such a thing?’ She grinned ‘And you couldn’t, anyway.’

I frowned. ‘But you’ve just said I could, had I chosen to.’

She rolled over me. ‘You couldn’t because I would want it as much as you and that’s not rape, is it?’

I laughed. Confused. Relieved. And then, I admit, I took it as something of an invitation. When I brought her climax before my own, I thought to slow and take her there again.

She smiled, cupping my face. ‘No. Just you now.’

So, I went fast and hard and, what can I say? Santo Dio. It was … well, extremely enjoyable. When I came to myself, I moved to look down at her, still catching my breath, my sweat dripping onto her face. ‘Forgive me.’ I brushed it away with my fingertips. Her eyes were wide. Was she holding her breath? ‘Ti ho ferito. Did I hurt you?

She released it, smiling. No, my Raphael. Well, only my heart which is sorely full of love for you.’

I kissed her. ‘I feel it, too.’

‘Why have you never done that before? Taken your own pleasure so freely? I loved watching you. Feeling you. I loved that I could give you such a thing.’

‘Cara.’ I smoothed her damp hair back from her face. ‘Well, I’m glad I gave you pleasure even when I thought only of my own.’ We lay in each other’s arms, kissing again for a while. ‘So, what were these questions of Penny’s? You haven’t told me.’

She laughed. ‘It is quite difficult to answer her when I don’t know what Kitty has said. I fear I chose evasion.’

‘Answering a question with another? Always a good tactic.’

‘I’m sure you’d have handled it better.’

I kissed her. ‘I’ve a feeling I won’t be entirely immune. Though the general rule is girls with mothers, boys with fathers.’

‘So, sons it is for us. Can’t have you missing out now, can we? But why do fathers need to talk to boys when they have all those other boys?’

I rolled my eyes. ‘I believe fathers need to see their sons squirm because they were forced to do so themselves. And to tell them all the unpleasant consequences awaiting them, both physical and spiritual, should they fall into sin.’

She grimaced. ‘Well, I hope you will discontinue the tradition. It sounds most unpleasant.’

‘It is. And I most definitely shall. Now, what did she ask you?’

‘Just as expected. How does a child get out? So, I asked her how she thought it did, and she didn’t know.’

I smiled. ‘You changed the subject?’ I watched her nod, a little shamefaced. ‘And I wager I know the next one. How does it get in there?’

She grinned. ‘That one was easy. I told her to ask you.’

She had done it again. Taken me completely by surprise. But I kept my wits about me this time. ‘No, Susannah, you didn’t. You did exactly as you had earlier. You changed the subject.’

She laughed. ‘You know me too well, Raphael.’

‘I think I am beginning to.’ I truly hoped I was.

I awakened to a room bathed in sunlight, finding Susannah had moved away from me in the night to curl up near the edge of the wide mattress. I slid across to her, startled to see her weeping. ‘Amore mio, what is it? Tell me what’s wrong? She rolled over into my arms, pressing against me. I held her, soothing her in my own tongue until she was able to calm herself. ‘Tell me, Susannah?’

Her lips trembled and more tears fell. ‘My courses … I’m bleeding.’

I drew her tighter into my arms. ‘Hush, cara. Hush now. We have so much time ahead of us to enjoy each other and that is all it takes, no?’

She pulled away to look at me. ‘I so wanted our–’

I put my finger on her lips to quiet her, kissing away her tears. I had never really expected it anyway. I smiled. ‘It will happen. I know it and you know it, too. Yes?’

She nodded. ‘Yes. You’re right, of course you are. Forgive me for being so foolish.’

I kissed her nose, which ran a little. ‘Nothing to forgive.’ In truth, I was quite certain of it for she already had a child … as had I, once. But I had still not told her. And how would I explain why I had not? Cristo. For it was shame and cowardice. I had acted shamefully and was afraid to tell her. She had already found so much of my life distasteful. How could I risk losing her with this?

She blew her nose. ‘I think I’ll stay here for a while, but you must go down to breakfast, Raphael.’

I shook my head. ‘We can breakfast together here.’

‘I’m not hungry and you must speak to Grandmama.’

‘Merda. I suppose I must.’ I moved in to kiss her. ‘I love you, Susannah.’

She watched me shave and dress, silent, but looking more cheerful. I went to kiss her again before leaving her. She clung to me, and I rubbed her back.

‘All shall be well, I know it.’

I smiled. ‘It will, I promise. Now, can I do anything for you?’

‘Just never stop loving me.’

I crossed myself. Pray God you never stop loving me. ‘No more than I can stop breathing.’ Her eyes were closed when I left. I hoped she might sleep a little.

Lady Sylvia and Penny were already seated at the table when I arrived. Again, Penny rushed from her chair to kiss me.

‘Where is Su … Mama? Is she not coming down?’

I bent to kiss her. ‘Not yet. She is a touch unwell this morning.’

Her face fell. She turned to Sylvia. ‘May I go up to her?’

‘Good morning, Raphael. May she?’

‘Buongiorno, Lady Sylvia. I believe so. If you go in quietly, il piccola mia, in case she sleeps.’

‘I won’t wake her, I promise, Papa.’

I smiled shaking my head, watching her go. ‘She’ll soon raise Susannah’s spirits.’ I sat down opposite Sylvia and began helping myself to breakfast. Eggs. Smoked fish. Cheese and soft white rolls. Strawberries. And this time a good dish of coffee. Someone now knew how to prepare it.

‘I’ll have a tray sent up for her.’ She watched me closely. ‘Is she with child?’

I finished chewing and swallowed. ‘No.’ How had I forgotten her disconcerting candour?

‘But she hoped for it?’

I frowned. It seemed such an impertinent question. Yet perhaps she had some right to ask it? But before I found a response she spoke further.

‘Forgive me. Not a question for a man, I’m sure.’ She sighed. ‘Susannah had a rather singular experience of getting a child. I shall talk to her.’

I closed my eyes for a moment. I knew she meant well. ‘No. That won’t be necessary, thank you. We have already talked of it. I understand why she hoped for it though, for how could she not?’

Her eyes widened. ‘Well, I’m glad you are knowledgeable in such matters.’ She raised her eyebrows in an unspoken question.

Yet if I did not answer, she would be free to speculate. So, with great reluctance I did so. Merda. ‘Sisters.’

I finished my breakfast in silence. When she poured more coffee for us, I knew I must speak again. I cleared my throat. ‘Lady Sylvia–’

‘Sylvia, please.’

‘Sylvia. I must ask your forgiveness–’

‘Indeed, you must not, Raphael. Had Susannah not given birth to Penny I would never have wanted … or even accepted you for her. That is the truth.’

Yet might I still excuse her, knowing the why of it. Perhaps I could? ‘Well, it matters little now.’

‘And, Raphael, you need to know this also. I have thanked God for Penny every day of her life. Every single day.’

I hugged her then, closing my eyes. We had made our peace … or so I thought.

‘When you’re ready to return to London, my coach can take you as far as Winchester, where another will meet you for the remainder of your journey.’

We could not return by sea, of course, because of Penny’s seasickness. ‘Someone is sending a coach? Who?’ Not the King, surely?

‘A close friend of yours, I believe. The Duchess of Richmond. Very generous of her, is it not? She’ll arrange overnight stays for you in private houses along the way, so you’ll be spared the privations of coaching inns.’

So, Sylvia knew of my affair with Frances. More letters full of court gossip, no doubt. ‘Well, how very generous of her.’ What was it about this woman that brought out the worst in me? ‘I shall be sure to thank her profusely when next I’m in her company.’

She frowned a little, though I could see she hoped she had concealed it. ‘You will be very careful with Susannah, won’t you, Raphael? She has been a little … hurt by her life so far, I fear.’

Christ, this woman. This damnable woman. I would not allow her to force me into defending myself. Into justifying myself to her. Yet, once again, I had to say something. ‘I love Susannah.’ I stood. ‘Now, if you will excuse me, I must go to her.’

‘Raphael.’

I looked back.

‘Perhaps you can ask her when she feels she’ll be well enough to travel, then I can have a letter couriered back to Her Grace.’

God help me. ‘How kind, Sylvia. But I shall write to Frances myself.’

I found Susannah alone, propped up against pillows. She smiled and I went to sit beside her on the bed. ‘How are you feeling?’

‘Cramps.’ She searched my face. ‘What’s wrong? Your eyes look a touch flashy.’

I placed my hand on her belly. ‘Flashy?’ I closed my flashy eyes and sighed. ‘I find your grandmother rather difficult, cara. I allow her to provoke me, and I don’t know why I do?’

‘Oh, my dear. Do tell.’

So, I did.

She looked a little disappointed in me. ‘Well, you have all but admitted you are still Frances Stuart’s lover, which was hardly sensible of you.’

‘I agree, especially when I’m damn well not.’ I took a breath. ‘Nor ever will be again. But I did try to apologise to her and was told I was only allowed anywhere near you because of Penny. I fail to understand why she felt the need to spell it out for me.’

‘Raphael. Dearest. None of this is her business, nor would it ever have been her decision to make. And I would always have chosen to marry you. Always. Penny is a gift we share now just as our own children will be.’

I stroked her face, our eyes locked together. ‘Christ, Susannah. You’re right, of course. None of it matters now.’ What in the name of God was I doing? I already had everything I could ever want. In truth, more than I had ever dreamt of.

‘My papa and mama married for love. And to do it they had to run away together, back to the exiled Stuart court. I think it was in Cologne then. His family are extremely wealthy, with vast tracts of farmland in the west country, tin mines in Cornwall, and an estate in Tavistock. Many of them, and his friends as well, thought her too far beneath him. Luckily, the King was less pejorative. He was in love himself then. My papa believes in love.’ She chewed her lip. ‘Perhaps too carelessly, of late. I trust he’ll learn from it.’

I took off my coat and moved onto the bed beside her, pulling her into my arms. ‘I’m sure he will.’ Though Catherine Villiers had proved a damned hard lesson. ‘So now I find your grandmother even more difficult to understand.’ I shook my head. Leave it now. Fool.

I rolled over her and we kissed for a while, most enjoyably.

Susannah moved away with a sigh. ‘I should dress. And you, dear Raphael, must write a letter to your lover.’

I smiled. ‘Indeed, I must. But first I shall help you.’

When I brushed out her flaxen hair on that beautiful summer’s morning, I felt we had entered a state of grace together, where everything had settled into perfect alignment, finally. Where the future would be ours. But what I should have understood then, and prayed for God’s protection, is such things never last. The abyss always looms around one corner or another. And it lay in wait for us.

CHAPTER1

Raphael

LONDON, 1676

That we shall have a child seemed certain to me, though Susannah cannot quite allow herself to trust it. I watched her sleep. The knowledge of it filled me with so much joy and gut-wrenching terror, too, for I could not live without her. Valentina haunted me and I crossed myself, whispering an act of contrition asking for God’s mercy on me. Susannah must know of her but not yet. Not now. When they are both safe, please God. But I think she will not understand why I have kept it from her for so long. And how can I explain? She opened her soul to me, and I withheld mine from her.

The King did not attend our wedding ceremony in the Chapel Royal though, unexpectedly my mamma, who had fortuitously decided to visit quite unaware of my forthcoming marriage, did. There was a Mass afterwards in the Queen’s Chapel in St James’s Palace where I was able to make my confession – something I had not done for some considerable time – and take the sacrament. Well, not unsurprisingly, my confession was long and unpleasant, resulting in a penance of many decades of the rosary. No more than I deserved.

Mamma is with us still, in our Cheapside house, occupying the chamber which had once been mine and we have taken the larger one on the same floor, which has a closet for use as a dressing room. I looked around our chamber now. Gilded cream furniture. Silk drapes and upholstery in vibrant jewel-like colours. Carved and gilded Carrera marble fireplace. A ceiling painted with frolicking cherubs and putti, reminding me disconcertingly of the one in Frances Stuart’s Richmond House bedchamber. Not something I have pointed out to Susannah. She had not wished the room altered, though I know it is far too ornate for her taste, wanting me to have this reminder of my Florentine home. God bless her.

I lowered myself softly onto the bed to sit beside her, but still, she did not stir. Her eyes were moving madly under closed lids, and I had no wish to wake her from her dream. Then, after a tiny snort, they flew open.

‘Raphael?’ She reached for me. ‘Did I snore? Oh, Jesu, was I snoring?’

‘Christ, it sounded like a pigsty in here.’

She looked so mortified, I quickly pulled her into my arms. ‘I’m teasing, cara. Forgive me.’ She pulled away to look at me and I smiled, a little shamefaced.

She narrowed her eyes, running her hand down my satin coat. ‘You’re ready to leave? Why must she have you there at such an hour?’

Meetings with Frances Stuart always caused a little unease between us. I shrugged. ‘She is the patron. I do as I am asked.’ Merda. Not the best choice of words. I bent to kiss her before she could reply. It took a while until I felt the tension leave her. I moved away, cautiously.

‘I want you, Raphael.’

‘I wish I could, cara.’ And I did, very much. ‘No time, I’m afraid, especially if I am to return the coach for you.’

She sighed and fell back against the pillows. ‘I could always take a hackney.’ She sighed again. ‘All I want is to make love or to eat. Is it normal? How can it be?’

It sounded rather perfect to me. ‘I think it a further proof you are with child.’

‘You do?’

‘I think so. Ask Mamma. Now, I must go.’

‘Find me when you get back.’

I kissed her forehead. ‘Of course.’

Giuseppe waited outside with the leather bag holding the samples and drawings for the duchess. A chill in the air already suggested autumn with little warmth now in the early morning sunshine.

‘Why she want you now, eh?’

I sighed. ‘I have no idea.’

‘Maybe she meet you in her camera da letto?’ He grinned.

I snatched the bag from him. ‘I have a wife whom I love very much. Now, where is that damn coach.’ As I spoke, I heard the sound of hooves approaching from the mews behind the house, and he was able to gesture smugly towards it. I really must not rise to his goading. There would be more when I returned home. I would ignore it.

He lowered the steps and opened the door for me, but before I could climb inside, he touched my shoulder. ‘Raph, you know I joke with you, no? I see how it is with you and Susannah.’

I nodded, punching his arm lightly in response. ‘I know, Amico.’ And, in truth, I did. And I also knew he would never stop his banter and in time it would wash over me as it had always done before. For now, though, the reality of my marriage was still too new to be the target of his humour and any suggestion of infidelity too offensive, for I knew without a single doubt it would never happen. I had vowed it before Susannah and before God.

The streets were quiet at this hour and there were even a few rakers’ carts still trundling along, carrying their reeking load from the city’s cesspits out to the laystalls beyond. I held my handkerchief to my nose as they passed.

Rory halted at the turn into King Street and climbed down to speak to me. ‘A cart be over further up with nothing moving. What do ye wish of me, Master?’

Time was pressing for my appointment with Frances. ‘Go down The Mall and through the park.’ The route towards the Park Gate was kept free from carriage traffic on most days but if King Street was blocked, I had no compunction about using it. Driving down the deserted track, I noticed some of the trees were already taking on their vibrant autumn colours. It still surprised me how much brighter and more varied they were in England. Perhaps it was all the rain, for there had to be some purpose to it? Then, amongst them, I glimpsed bright hair gleaming in the sunshine and spotted two small girls dressed in identical pale blue gowns, sitting on the grass. One of them was Penny. I knocked on the wall signalling Rory to stop and jumping down, I cupped my hands around my mouth, ‘Penny.’ The air already carried a hint of autumn. Damp earth and wood smoke. I sighed. Soon coal smoke from London’s countless chimneys would pall the sky once more.

She looked up, scrambling to her feet, and ran to me, grinning. ‘Papa.’ She flung her arms around me and turned to her friend, who approached more slowly. ‘Kitty. This is my papa.’

‘Surely, you are not alone here, girls?’ I looked around and spotted a young woman talking with a man further in under the trees.

Kitty saw me looking. That’s Abigail. She’s taking care of us.’

It certainly did not appear so to me. Far from it. ‘Stay here. I shall speak with her for a moment.’ I had walked some way towards them before the man noticed me. He looked decidedly disreputable, with threadbare clothes and grimy skin. The woman, heavy-set and freckle-faced, was clearly enjoying the kind of male attention she would likely not receive very often. ‘Abigail?’

She made a clumsy curtsy. ‘Master?’

‘I believe your attention should be on your charges, one of whom is my daughter.’ I gave the fellow a hard look and he stared back, insolently, before finally lowering his eyes. He spat on the grass, then slunk away deeper into the shrubbery.

‘Forgive me, Master. I shall get back to ‘em right away. Please don’t tell my mistress, I begs you. They was right there with me. I never saw ‘em wander off, like.’

‘I’ll make sure Penny tells me if anything like this happens again. Then your employers will hear of it.’ She looked suitably chastened. ‘Make sure they’re back in Wood Yard by midday when my wife will collect our daughter.’ As I walked back to Penny with the woman scurrying after me, I wondered whether to return them safely to Whitehall in my coach and said as much when I reached them. They were making chains out of small white daisy flowers. Penny already wore one on her head like a crown, and it gave me an idea for a necklace. I could craft the flowers with enamel in Susannah’s kiln. A skill she had been happy to teach me, and it had proved a popular addition to our designs. My suggestion to the girls was not well received.

‘Not yet. Please, Papa.’

‘We haven’t finished,’ Kitty added.

I sighed. I was already late. I turned to Abigail. She really was most unprepossessing, poor girl. I smiled at her. ‘Remember what I said.’

‘I will, Master.’ Blushing did nothing for her complexion, unfortunately.

I climbed up into my coach, telling Rory to hurry as I did, and we were soon pulling up at the Park Gate. I walked briskly along beside the bowling green to arrive at Richmond House, where the door opened immediately, and a footman led me upstairs into the drawing room. ‘Frances.’ We kissed each other on both cheeks. ‘You look well.’ She was dressed in pearl grey silk with a violet mantua just the colour of her eyes.

‘So do you, my dear. And how is Susannah?’

I decided to tell her. ‘She’s with child.’

She hugged me. ‘Raphael, I’m so happy for you both.’ She stepped away smiling. ‘And little Penelope will have a brother or sister. She’ll like that, I’m sure.’

I tilted my head, studying her. ‘You knew about Penny? I mean–’

‘I know what you mean, Raphael. And I did. And that she was Samuel’s. Who else could it be?’

Just what her father and grandmother had said. ‘The King knew?’ I was fairly certain of it.

‘I never spoke of it with him. Now, I have breakfast for you.’ She led me to a low table placed before a sofa affording us a good view over the bowling green, where a game was now underway. ‘We can eat while you show me what you’ve brought.’

And that is what we did, eating hot-buttered rolls and coddled eggs while I showed her the drawings of a necklace she wished for, which would feature some of my new enamel work. When the plates had been cleared away, I laid out the mock-ups of a ruby brooch I would make once she had decided on the design. ‘These are the three you chose from the drawings.’

‘These always make a decision so much easier.’ She studied them, lifting each one, and taking it to hold against her in front of one of the many mirrors there to reflect light from the large candelabras set in front of them. ‘This one.’ She handed it to me.