Restless E-Book

Olivia Seger

• Herausgeber: tredition
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 245

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2022

Beschreibung

Violet loves Camel Filters, honest conversations, and the beautiful mess of her own life. Between cigarette breaks and dates, she’s not only searching for true love but also trying to figure out who she really is. Her world is filled with friends who feel more like family, with moments that change everything, and with countless imperfect yet precious snapshots of life. Restless – charming, unfiltered, and with just the right dose of self-irony. For everyone who knows: life doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful. A novel that breathes real life.

Leseprobe

Olivia Seger

RESTLESS

© 2022 Olivia Seger

Translated by: Robert Meissner

Language of original edition: German

Publisher label: Dark Art

ISBN Softcover: 978-3-347-65984-1

ISBN Hardcover: 978-3-347-65985-8

ISBN e-Book: 978-3-347-65778-6

Printing and distribution on behalf of the author: tredition GmbH, Halenreie 40-44, 22359 Hamburg, Germany

The work, including its parts, is protected by copyright. The author is responsible for the contents. Any exploitation is prohibited without his approval. Publication an distribution are carried out on behalf of the author, to be reached at: tredition GmbH, Abteilung “Imprint service”, Halenreie 40-44, 22359 Hamburg, Germany

1

This is my story. However, I would like to give you a warning in advance. If you expect some momentous events, lyrical treats, and life-changing wisdom or even some sort of logical conclusion, I'm afraid to disappoint you, because this is simply a story about a somewhat chaotic girl with a particular fondness for Camel filter cigarettes…

With quick, somewhat clumsy steps, I trudged through the deserted streets. No wonder, it was six o'clock in the morning and Mother Holle would do her best. At this time of the day and in this weather, you wouldn't even send a dog out the door. Hastily I pulled my scarf up to better protect myself from another approaching gust of wind. At last, and through the snow flurries, I could make out the large glowing letters that formed the word train station. I slowed my pace. A glance at my watch told me that I had reached my destination far too early. Again. Annoyed, I bounced from one foot to the other in an attempt to beat the creeping cold. After what felt like ages, the longed-for lights of the locomotive finally lit up. Searching, I let my eyes roam over the wagons, but nothing was happening. I grumpily pulled open the first door I came across (Yes, you read that right, my story takes place in the 90s of the last century, thus there were no automatic doors in the trains back then.) and rushed inside. With each compartment I trudged through in vain, my bad mood increased. Finally, after umpteen carriages, my search had come to an end. Annoyed, I threw my bag on the bench in front of me and settled down on the more or less soft cushion. Shortly thereafter, I lit a cigarette, (Smoking was also still allowed on the train at that time. A privilege, which in my opinion, could have been preserved by all means…) to calm down a bit. My seat neighbor stretched and looked at me sleepily. Startled he looked up.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, somewhat dully.

"Well, what do you think?"

"Is it that late already? I thought I'd take a nap until your stop…must have overslept."

"Sure looks like it."

"Well, not a big surprise, in this sort of weather!" With a wave of his hand, he gestured out the window and for a moment I watched the drifting snow before my eyes fell back on my counterpart. We had known each other since we were born. And this wasn't even a lie because our mothers had been in the maternity ward at the same time. Slany, however, was born three days before me. He was earlier, but I was faster. The latter had not changed until today. Nineteen years had passed since then, but in that long time there had hardly been a day without us seeing each other. Some people believed that we were brother and sister, others believed that we made a perfect couple. But that’s maybe a different story…

"How are things with Edwin?" Slany snapped me out of my thoughts and looked at me questioningly. I had to stifle a laugh because his cynical undertone had not gone unnoticed.

"Nothing… Haven't heard from him in a while." It was the same thing time after time. Over and over again, we swore to each other to allow ourselves absolute freedom when it came to the matter of love. Which worked out pretty well. At least until one of us started a new relationship….

"Come on sweetie, pack your things, we've got to get out." We left the train and I strolled behind my friend. Lost in thought, I reached into my bag to pull out one of my most beloved Camel filters. At the same moment I gasped in shock, threw my bag into the snow, and rushed back into the carriage. I managed to get out just as the train had started moving again. Slany shook his head with a grin. We walked the everyday way to the university in silence. Once at the entrance, we said our goodbyes, as from then on, we parted ways. I shuffled down the colorless hallway. Somehow everything seemed a bit bleak to me. Why on earth was I sitting in this dungeon day after day? I had asked myself this question more than once in recent times. But it was too late. I had decided to study psychology and now I had to go through with it willy-nilly. At least until I had a better idea. Initially, I was really looking forward to my studies. Finally, I could devote myself to what I was interested in and no longer had to deal with things that I found boring as hell. But in the meantime, it had turned out to be not as great as I had originally envisioned. Slany was completely different in this respect. He literally flourished with his study of history. Those 'old stories', as he used to say, fascinated him. His enthusiasm was so great that he even managed to cheer me up a little when I happened to be feeling down again.

"Violet!" A shrill voice jolted me out of my thoughts. I slowed my pace but didn't turn around. After all, what was the point… There was only one person who could manage to pronounce my name as wrong as it could be. "So, did you ask him?" She looked at me expectantly. I nodded lamely and at the same moment a happy glow swept across my counterpart's face. Lisa was undoubtedly as beautiful as it gets. Should one ever consider undergoing plastic surgery, one would not have been ill-served to have given the doctor a picture of her as a blueprint. Similarly, the male species felt that she was well worth sinning for. I knew no one in the world who could resist her. Although, that wasn't quite true. Lisa had set her mind on charming Slany with her piercing voice, but apparently Cupid's arrow had not yet reached him. And so, she decided without further ado to take matters into her own hands. Which in this case meant that she approached the best friend of the victim, pardon, the adored one in question. In which case, that was me.

"And? What did he say?" Curious, she pressed herself against me in the lecture hall.

"He was all smiles."

"And what else?" God, she sure fell for him. What was I supposed to answer her? That Slany had been flattered, but his interest was merely tending toward zero? For me, it seemed a bit harsh to say this straight to her face. But before I could think of the right words, our professor entered the room and was about to begin the lecture.

Lost in thought, I sat in the cafeteria. What was I going to do with my life? Was being a shrink really the way to fulfillment? If only I had an answer to this question. All morning I had been completely absent-minded, as those nerve-wracking thoughts had been running through my mind over and over again. The only thing I knew for sure was that if there wasn't something radical or groundbreaking happening any time soon, I was no longer able to guarantee for anything in the future.

"Man, Violet, I've got something totally crazy to tell you!" Slany, beaming, threw himself onto the vacant chair next to me. Puzzled, I looked at him. "I got a job during my semester break. Now guess where?" Dispassionately, I shrugged my shoulders. "In London! Well, what do you say?"

"Great!", I replied, my statement sounding more like a stale statement which had Slany frowning at me.

"Is something wrong with you? You look like you got stuck in seven days of rainy weather."

"What?" I was visibly still not mentally present but only physically. Slany shook his head and rose again.

"Let me know when you're responsive again." I nodded mechanically. So now, it wasn't enough that I couldn't cope with myself, no, the whole universe had to add one more matter on top of it. My best friend simply walked out of my life and left me alone. Thanks for nothing. I felt rejected by the whole world. Yes, I was good at bathing in self-pity. I pulled a cigarette out of my pocket and lit it. But even this seemed to have conspired against me because it just would not light. After the third attempt I gave up. It became more than obvious that something was going on.

I was lying on my bed and staring out the window. The snowfall had turned into rain and the drops were now slapping so loudly against the windows that I could no longer understand my own words. It almost seemed as if they were asking to be let in. Who knows, maybe these drops were enchanted people who could only return to their normal form when they were let into the warmth. Inspired by the thought, I jumped up and opened the window. Immediately, the cool wet dripped onto the floor, where a small lake formed within a few minutes. In vain I waited for something to happen. (For example, that one of the drops turned into a beautiful prince). Sullenly, I gave the window a shove and crawled under my covers. Before my imagination could get the better of me again, there was a knock at the door and Slany poked his head in.

"Hey sweetie, are you feeling better?" I nodded, but I guess it didn't seem that convincing. "Now come on, lighten up a bit." He threw himself down on the bed next to me with gusto. He was trying his best to put me in a better mood. But the attempt was about the same as teaching a cow to fly. "Relax." Slany began to massage my back. That had always worked so far. In fact, I became a little more sociable. I even let myself be persuaded to tell him what was bothering me.

"Well, don't take this too seriously. I'll only be gone for three months." Again, this was so typical! He didn't get what it was all about at all. Why the hell did men always think that everything had to be about them? Annoyed, I got up and trudged to the kitchen to make myself a hot chocolate. Slany probably thought it best to not follow me. I sat in front of my cup for about half an hour when I heard footsteps in the hallway.

"Gotta leave again!" Before he even finished the sentence, the door slammed shut from outside. Gone he was. But it did not bother me much. On the contrary. I didn't feel like having more of these little chats anyway.

The sun tried without success to dispel the wintry cold. I leaned against the banister and dreamed of distant places with my eyes closed. I was lying on a beach and enjoying myself.

"What cloud are you floating on now?" Slany's voice brought me back to reality.

"Destroyer!", I hissed at him, to which he merely grinned. "Can we go now?" I picked up my backpack from the floor.

"No, I promised Pat I'd wait for him."

"Pat? Pat who?" In my mind I was rattling off all the names and faces, but a Pat could not be found by any stretch of the imagination.

"He's only been studying here for a week…", Slany reassured me. "…and also needs to head our way."

"And…"

"He studied at Oxford first, but then… Ah, here he comes, now you can ask him anything you want to know yourself." Slany pointed to the front door, where a lanky guy with glasses was just stepping out. I couldn't help laughing. Slany poked me in the ribs, which I also promptly choked on.

"May I introduce Pat to you?" By now he had joined the two of us. "Pat, this is Violet, the greatest girl anywhere around." I had halfway recovered and even managed a croaky 'hello'. But at the same moment, another coughing fit struck me. Pat handed me his Coke. Gratefully, I took a sip and calmed down again.

"That's our Violet in the flesh. She always has to put on a little show." Slany grinned, to which I gave him a punishing look.

"Well, now that we've got everything sorted out, we can finally get going, can we?"

"It's certainly not up to ME, sweetie." Now, that was enough. I glared at him punitively, and as I did so, his glazed eyes caught mine.

"Oh my goodness, what's wrong with your eyes? Do you have an infection?" Score one to zero in my favor, buddy. I knew full well how he hated being embarrassed in public, and that's exactly what I had accomplished. Smugly, I grinned at him. In return, he angrily glared at me and stomped away.

"Suit yourself, but aren't you forgetting something?" Abruptly he stopped, turned, and without words snatched his bag from my hand.

"Take it easy, make a point and… smoke a joint! " I just couldn't help it.

"Knock, knock, anyone home?" Cautiously, I opened the door.

"Go away!"

"Oh, is my little teddy bear still mad?" Sulking, Slany sat on his sofa, staring at the TV screen. I sat down next to him. A few minutes passed without anyone saying a word. Then I got bored. Cautiously, I crawled forward until I was sitting directly in front of him. He tried to ignore me, but I made a bunch of faces until he finally had to laugh uncontrollably.

"So, friends again?" I held out my hand to him conciliatory. Yielding, Slany chimed in.

"Actually, I wanted to surprise you today. But I guess I'll have to reconsider."

"What is it? Come on Slany, don't make me suffer!" But he remained steadfast. "Oh you… please, please, tell me." Theatrically, I fell to my knees in front of him.

"No." He took full advantage of my curiosity. "What are you offering?" So, that’s how it was supposed to go down now. No problem, he could demand whatever he wanted.

"Anything you want, great master. But please, don't keep teasing me." My whining finally seemed to show some effect.

"O.k. it's all right. I've got a job for you in England. Am I the greatest, or not?" Slany enjoyed the role of benefactor. I turned pale; I was speechless. I had really not expected this. All of a sudden, I seemed to understand, and I stormily fell around Slany's neck. After I had overcome the first shock, I found my voice again.

"How in the world did you manage this?"

"Well, you know, I got some connections here and there." Slany pushed his chin forward in a ceremonially self-important way, which honestly looked pretty stupid. I had to laugh.

"So, so, your connections. And who would that be?"

"Won't tell." He tapped my nose with his pointing finger.

"All right, then at least tell me what your mystery job is all about." Slany took a deep breath.

"Well, you know, there's a lot on offer these days, so of course it takes flair to find the right one. After several searches…"

"Slany! Get to the point!"

"You got a job in a bar. It was the obvious thing to do since you've been bartending at Blades for some time."

"Sounds tempting."

"It not only sounds like it, but it really is. Pat told me it was a top-notch place." I smiled. Slany was the greatest guy on earth after all. Who would have bothered to look for a job for someone else? When you got right down to it, people had a point. The two of us just belonged together. Although I didn't want to admit it to myself, I was very attached to Slany. I felt abandoned when he was sick. The three months would have been pure torture for me. Which should not mean, of course, that I cowered immediately, if my best friend was not there. On the contrary. I was one of those people that everyone respected and liked. But although I got along well with all of them, none of them could replace Slany. We were a crazy couple. And now we were going to London together. I still couldn't believe it. In the back of my mind there was still the thought that I was just dreaming all of this and that I was going to wake up at any given moment. Three months in England, three months of absolute fun. So many times, we had dreamed of hanging out together at Picadilly Circus (don't ask me why of all places exactly there) and now it was actually about to come true.

2

Giant raindrops were falling from the sky. Nervously, I looked at my watch every five seconds. Where was Slany? We had arranged to meet at nine and now it was already ten past. I paced up and down the room. Mentally I went through everything I had packed one more time. Toothbrush, sweater, socks… The ringing of the bell tore me from my thoughts.

"Well, are you ready to go?" Slany beamed at me.

"Where the hell have you been for so long?" Without waiting for an answer, I grabbed my bag and walked past him outside. Slany took care of the rest of my luggage. When everything was stowed, I dropped into the passenger seat, exhausted.

"Oh man, how I hate such stress!" Nervously, I fumbled with my purse, looking for a Camel.

"Now come on sweetie, calm down. Otherwise, you'll have a heart attack and never see London." Slany patted my leg.

"I wish we were there already," I growled. After a few puffs on my cigarette, I calmed down a little. But only a little. Slany was his usual calm self. According to the motto: If I don't arrive today, I'll just show up tomorrow. I was quite different. If I had an appointment, I was there at least ten minutes before the agreed time. I hated being late.

"See, we have already reached our first stop." I looked up and could just make out the sign as I drove by, pointing to the airport.

"I still have to call Sam." Slany tugged on my sleeve as we strode down the hall.

"Why is that?"

"I'll tell you in a minute." Hastily, he moved away. All I could see was him snatching the phone booth from under a guy's nose. Meanwhile, I sat down and began to watch the people around.

"Alright, I' m back." Slany laughed at me.

"Great," I let out sarcastically. "Now could you kindly tell me what was so urgent?"

"Sure. Sam's taking care of our car. After all, I'm no Croesus and cannot afford a three-month parking fee." That seemed logical to me. We packed our things and headed for the passport control. I was still nagging around, smoking one cigarette after another. Slany was not used to anything else from me. When we had flown to Ireland together two years ago, my behavior had been no different. Through the intercom we heard that our plane had been delayed for half an hour, which didn't exactly help my mood. On the contrary. By now I had the feeling that I would go crazy by just having to stand still all this time.

"We'll never get to London…", I whined, "it's only natural… everything involving me must go wrong… you shouldn't have taken me with you… it'll be a disaster, I can feel it…"

"Violet! Violet, look at me!" Slany grabbed my head. Literally. I felt like I was in a vice. "Nothing happened. The plane is only delayed for half an hour. We'll still get to England." I wanted to object, but he pressed his finger on my lips and gestured for me to be quiet. "Come on, I'll get you a coffee now, you'll feel better after." Before I was able to say another word, he stomped off to the nearest vending machine.

"Slany, I…" I tried to stop him, but he waved me off. As he held out the brown brew to me like a trophy, I stifled what I had been about to say. Normally he knew I didn't drink coffee, but I seemed to have upset him completely with my hysteria. I found it touching how he made an effort. Thankfully, I took the cup from him and drank a sip. I tried not to make too disgusting a face. In the meantime, our plane had arrived, and we were being called out. My nervousness hit me like a thunderbolt all over again. I rushed to the counter as if it were a matter of life and death and before we knew it, we were already taking our seats. Shortly after the plane took off, I fell asleep.

Slany smiled and lovingly stroked Violet's hair. Looking at her like that, he couldn't help but think of their first trip to Ireland together. It was a trip they probably wouldn't forget anytime soon. It started with the fact that their plane had been delayed for four hours. When they finally arrived in Dublin at one o'clock in the night, the weather was getting much worse. After a two-hour drive, they had arrived at a small town. But the fog had been so thick that they couldn't see fifty meters ahead. This would not have been a big deal, but the road signs were not in English but in Gaelic, the language of the country. In short, the situation had seemed completely hopeless. They had already become comfortable with the idea of having to spend the night in the car. When looking back on it today, they still didn't really know how they had managed to find their way to the hotel. Suddenly it had appeared out of nowhere through the mist. Slany laughed softly to himself. A glance out the small windows assured him that the forces of nature had been kind to them that day. The stewardesses wheeled in with their trolleys and dished up the usual airplane food for the passengers. Many were of the opinion that one could not eat this stuff. Slany disagreed with them. He loved these little things. This love even went so far that every time he took some souvenirs with him. Be it a plastic fork or a sugar bag. The funny thing was that he actually kept them. If you asked him about it, he just said that everyone has his or her own hobby. Some would collect stamps; he would collect airplane cutlery. The clatter of the dishes woke me up. Sleepily I looked at Slany. At the sight of the food, I was suddenly awake, because my stomach growled. Only now I realized that I had not eaten anything today. Greedily I hurried through the lunch.

"Do you feel any better now?" Slany grinned at me. I nodded with my mouth full and at the same moment pointed at his cake.

"Are you gonna eat that?"

"No, help yourself." When the stewardesses had finished cleaning up, I sat back and smiled good-humoredly. No more stomach growling and my fatigue was gone, too.

"Please stop smoking and fasten your seat belts, we will be landing at London Heathrow in just a few minutes." My heart began to pound like mad. This time, however, it was with joy at finally arriving in the longed-for city. The plane confirmed with a jerk that we were back on the ground. Curious, I peered out the window. For a moment I could only see the airport area. Only when the bird turned could I make out a few houses in the distance. The stewardesses opened the doors and all the passengers rushed towards the exit. A human traffic jam was inevitable. Annoyed, I drummed on the back of the seat as if this could have made a difference. Slany seemed to be completely cool about everything, as usual. Basically, he was right, my stressful fussing didn't make things go any faster. But I finally wanted to get off. All of a sudden, the crowd seemed to dissolve. I felt for Slany's hand because I had zero desire to lose him in the end. Not after all the things my nerves had had to endure up until now. Especially since they were going to be strained a lot more. When we arrived at the conveyor belt that transported the luggage, my bags were nowhere to be found. It seemed as if someone was pulling the floor out from under my feet. My eyes became watery. Bravely, I gritted my teeth. Slany pulled me to the nearest seat.

"You stay here and smoke a Camel for now. I'll go look for your bags." Dejectedly, I nodded. I had sat there like that for a good half hour before Slany returned.

"They must have liked it better with the luggage from Australia." Smirking, he tossed me the bag. Tears ran down my cheeks while I happily smiled at the same time. Sobbing, I stammered out a "Thank you!"

The small café was nicely furnished. Simple, but cozy. If you looked out the window, you could see directly onto Regent Street. At this time of the day, it was very busy. The suppliers brought fresh vegetables with their trucks. Dreamily I sat in front of my hot chocolate. If my day wasn't starting with this sweet drink, I might as well just skip it anyway. Suddenly someone clapped his flat hand against the window. The dull bang and the person coming out of nowhere startled me. Before I was able to see who was trying to play a joke on me, I no longer saw anyone anywhere. I knew, even though I was sitting with my back to the door, that someone had come in. But less because of my psychic abilities than because of the cool gust of wind that swept my legs.

"Well, have you been dreaming again about some prince in shimmering armor who doesn't exist?" Slany sat down with me, grinning. His short brown hair was sticking out in all directions from his head. All the while, he had gone to such great efforts to be looking terrific that morning. He had even used half a tube of hair gel. I had a hard time holding back a laugh when he proudly presented himself to me. The pinstripe suit and the disheveled hairstyle were like being punched straight into the eye. Although, some women might look after him wearing this. As for me, I liked him in a fancy suit as much as in normal jeans and a T-shirt.

"So, how did it go?" I wanted to know if all the effort had been worth it.

"Well, what do you think? They were of course highly impressed by my elegant outfit!" Demonstratively, he turned up his collar and grimaced macho. "They provided me a really cool joint to stay in," he said.

"Well, well, provided," I mimicked him.

"I still need to practice," he defended himself. "Well, what do you say we officially open our den now, or are you planning on spending the whole day here?" I shook my head and stood up.

Our new home was really something to be proud of. It wasn't exactly a palace, but the fact that it was a penthouse made up for the minus points.

"It's really cozy here, don't you think?" Slany looked around happily at the still somewhat sparsely furnished room.

"What will it be like once there's furniture in it," I said with a slightly sarcastic undertone.

"Amazing, it will be." Slany hadn't yet noticed that I was taking the mickey out of him. Only when he noticed my grin did it dawn on him.

"Yeah, yeah, keep it up…are you still going to laugh when you get to crash outside in the cold?" One to zero in his favor. Sometimes we had real competitions as to which one of us could dish out more low blows. Of course, it was never meant to be taken seriously. At the moment, however, I didn't really feel like coming up with any meaner things to throw at him. I had not slept a wink in the hotel where we had spent our first night. Consequently, I