Satan, Master of Politics, World's Most Powerful Racist, and Leader of the TRP! E-Book

Cal Warren Akers

• Herausgeber: Pencil
• Kategorie: Geisteswissenschaft
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2022

Seitenzahl: 676

Beschreibung

About the book:
Where is your heart? Does it reside in the house of bigotry and hate, or in the home of selflessness and love? In all societies where racism and hate exists, there exists enormous chaos and divisiveness - The true banes that are capable of destroying any and all worldly societies. America, the "Shining city on a hill" and the most successful democracy in the world, is in desparate need of an operation. However, the only doctors capable of performing the operation successfully are the American people coming together as one. If we don't, we are destined to die on the operating table - relegated to the histories of fallen nations!
About the author:
Using myself when trying to understand the mind of a racist and what it takes to avoid becoming one, I've managed to become a better person. I believe anyone who is willing not to be racist can avoid being racist. Likewise, anyone who is a racist, through will can stop being one, and avoid the pitfalls normally associated. I am an American citizen who has lived in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania all his life. And except for the few years spent in Germany as a childhood Army brat, and the time spent overseas (Japan, Korea and the Philippines) in my 11-years as a U. S. Marine, my heart has always been with America, especially during those relative brief moments in time and space I was away. I we take to heart the old saying "It Takes a Village...," we come to learn the valuable truth in it. But we have to get over the neeed/feeling of self-worth.. as if we, ourselves, are more important than the other person, because we're not. We must accept the role we are destined to, which is to be "each other's keeper" which can/will enable us to move forward into the "More Perfect Union" our Declaration of Independence intimates so elequently! Together, we must be the "keepers" of American democracy, for ourselves and our posterity. I've found that when we put our minds to it, we can accomplish more in life than we can being divided. To do it, we must make racial bigotry and obsolete ideology.. show it for what it truly is - an unimportant and totally counterproductive way of existance!

Leseprobe

Satan,MasterofPolitics,World'sMostPowerfulRacist,andLeaderoftheTRP!

InsidetheMindofaRacist,andHowHe/SheCanAffectWorldDemocraciesEverywhere

BY

CalWarrenAkers

ISBN9789356105669©CalWarrenAkers2022PublishedinIndia2022byPencilAbrandofOnePointSixTechnologiesPvt.Ltd.123,BuildingJ2,ShramSevaPremises,WadalaTruckTerminal,Wadala(E)Mumbai400037,Maharashtra,[e-mail]dwideNopartofthispublicationmaybereproduced,storedinorintroducedintoaretrievalsystem,ortransmitted,inanyform,orbyanymeans(electronic,mechanical,photocopying,recordingorotherwise),withoutthepriorwrittenpermissionofthePublisher.Anypersonwhocommitsanunauthorizedactinrelationtothispublicationcanbeliabletocriminalprosecutionandcivilclaimsfordamages.

DISCLAIMER:TheopinionsexpressedinthisbookarethoseoftheauthorsanddonotpurporttoreflecttheviewsofthePublisher.

Authorbiography

MynameisCalWarrenAkers.I'velivedinPhiladelphia,Pennsylvaniaallmylife,exceptforwhenIlivedinGermanyduringchildhood,orinJapan(Okinawa)duringmyyearsspentintheU. S. MarineCorps.Ofcourse,youdon'ttrulyunderstandracismuntilyou'reoldenoughtoseparatefactfromfiction.Inmyearlytolate teenageyears,avoidingfactsseemedtomakemefeelIwasinchargeand betterthanothers. Iwasaracistanddidn'tevenknowit. Today,withabetterunderstandingofracism,Irealizenomatterwhatcoloryouare,aracistisaracist!

Contents

ChapterOne-Thesocialbanecalledracism!

ChapterTwo-Thefewandtheproud!

ChapterThree-Only2-waystoendracism!

ChapterFour-Makingitworkforeveryone!

ChapterFive-Choosingtomakeadifference!

ChapterSix-Maytheyonlyberumors!

ChapterSeven-Racism,amasteryofSatan!

ChapterEight-Theloyaltyandpraise given toliars&Tyrants!

ChapterNine-BringingAmericatogether!

ChapterTen-Gettingtoknowyourneighbor!

ChapterEleven-Systemic,NeverMoreRevealing!

Preface

    Americahasalonghistoryofbigotry/racisminallareasofherdemocracy,andsuchhaskeptherfrombeingtheverybestshecanbe.It'struethatnotallofthefoundingfathersofourgreatRepublicdesiredtoinculcatetheawfulbanesofbigotry/racismandits'slaveryintoour“democraticexperiment.”Theydid,nevertheless,uponreachingunanimousagreement,decidethatgainingtotalindependenceandtheestablishingofaseparatenation,werefarmoreimportantthantoconfront,headon,thebigoted/racistafflictionsthatweresuretocomefromtheinhumanepracticeofslavery,andthetotallyunfairdiscriminationitwouldfoster.Today,wearegovernedbypoliticalpartiesthatdisagreeonvirtuallyeverything,fromeconomicstoimmigrationandfromclimatechangetothesizeofthegovernmentweshouldhave.It'struethatMOSTRepublicanspreferasmallergovernmentwhichyieldstolessoversight,whilegivingMOREpowertothestatesinallthings.Butoverthedecades,howhassmallergovernmentbenefitedtheaverageAmericancitizen?Hasitlaidanequallysolidgroundforthepersonofcolor,asithasforMOSTWhite-Americans?Thesepoliticalpartiesclaimtohavethepeoples'bestinterestatheart,butmoretimesthannot,theirprimarygoalseemstobeoneofselfinterest,withonlyoneofthemactuallyshowinganyregardforthecommonfolk,andourdemocracy!

    Theyarethesamepoliticalpartiesthathaven'tfiguredoutthatwinningisn'tthemostimportantthingwhenitcomestobuildinganationandprogressivelymovingforwardtowardstherealityofthat“moreperfectunion”assetforthinAmerica'sDeclarationofIndependencesignedsome240yearsago.Theyhavealsofailedtofigureoutthatallofthem,Democrat,RepublicanandIndependentalike,arebeingmanipulatedbythemasterofpoliticsandthemostpowerfulbigotandracisttoeverexist.ThesameonewhoistherulingforceofthisWorldlysystemofthings.However,bethatasitmay,thismasterhasfixedhissightsononeparticularParty,givingitthepowertochangethefaceofAmericandemocracyforever,andhasplacedatitsheadthenefariousvesselknownasTRUMP,givinghimapowerfullystronghandmadeupofespeciallyhouseandsenateRepublicans,andanalliedforceof'like-minded'individualswhoshareinhiscorruptvisionforAmerica.Althoughhe,Trump,hasastrongholdontheRepublicanParty..whichIhavedubbedtheTRP(TrumpRepublicanPeople)..itstrueleader,Satan,isthemastermindbehindboththeircomplicitandhighlycorruptnatures.AndunlessthisSatan-inspiredpartyisremovedfromgoverningpower,theRepublicwillbelostalongwiththedemocraticfreedomsithasenjoyedforsome240-years!

    InholdingfasttotheidealthatweareaJudeo/Christiandemocracy,wecannotlosesightofthefactthatinmanyinstances,wehaveconductedourselvesquitethecontrary,aspastandmorerecenteventshaveclearlyshown.WearecurrentlyanationNOTmorallygovernedbyallsidesbut,instead,weareanationsomewhatruled,immorally,byanalternativesocietybackedbythefullweightofapoliticalpartywhoseonlyrealagendasaretomakepolicythatthemajorityofthecountrydon'tagreewithandbackedbyappointedfederalandSupremecourtjudges,manyofwhomarefarlessqualifiedthanmostothersbutaremorefavorabletotheRepublicanplatform;andwhosemaingoalistomakecertaintheyremaininpower,thattheymaycontinue,inunabridgedperpetuity,withmoreofthesame.

    AssomeonewhobelievesintheChristianconceptofreligion,therearecertainthingsIcannotabidedoneinthenameofChristianity.LikewhenIhearpeoplesaytomethatGODsentAmericaDonaldTrump,andhebecomingour45thPOTUSwasmadepossiblebyHIS(GOD'S)Divinehands.However,asademocrat/liberal-conservative,therearethingsIdoabide,evenwhenmanyfeeltheyviolate'true'Christianbehavior–liketransgenderbehavior,samesexmarriageand/orthegay/homosexuallifestyle,aswellasdeliberateabortionastheultimatechoicebywomenwhodesirenottobeburdened(forwhateverreason)withthebirthofanunwantedchild.Whyso?Firstofall,it'snotthatIbelievesuchthingsareright,becauseIdon't.Forme,itallcomesdowntobelievingthatGOD'Splanformankindincludesforgivenessandsalvationforallwhoseekanddesireit,aswellasunderstandingGOD'Sgrantingof“free-will”doesn'tapplyonlytodoingwhatisGOODbuttotheBADthingsaswell.Ofcourse,thiswillrequirea'humbling'ofonesself,relyingmoreonwhat'sgoodthanonwhatisbad.Itwillrequirea'meek'andcaringattitudeonthepartofsuchpeople–somethingthe'hardcore'bigot/racistcannotbringhimorherselftoabidebecauseofthe'false'strengththeypossessandtheabsolutepowertheysodesperatelycrave.Theyconstantlyandconsistentlyregard'meekness'asaweakness,andseemtobeincapableofunderstandingthattruestrengthandpowercomesbywayofmeekness,notbywayofafalse,superiorcomplex.Whenyouthinkaboutit,America'shistorysurroundingslaverywasbuiltupontheideathatWhitesrepresentedpower,andtheepitomeofstrengthandsuperiority–whereasBlacksandotherswerethecompleteopposites,thenusingreligionandDarwin,inmanyinstances,astheirpointsofunderstandingandproof,whileatthesametimemissingthepointJesusspokeof,whichMatthewwroteofthereatMatthew5:5saying,“Blessedarethemeek,fortheywillinherittheearth,”notblessedaretheWhitesfortheyshallinherittheearth!Itisthe'meek'whoarethestrongandpowerful.Theyaretheonlyoneswhowillsurvivethecrueltymankindhasdumpedfromwithinandwithouttheearth–andneithercolornorethnicityaredependentuponthat!

    Today,withthemountingthreatofWhite-nationalismspreadingacrossthecountry(theworld),this'false'idealcreatesincreasingproblemsforalldemocraticsocietiesthroughouttheglobe.RighthereintheseUnitedStates,ourowndemocraticRepublicisbeingbombardedwiththegrowingsurgeofthisterroristthreat.Likemanyofthestrongandpowerfuldynastiesofthepastsuchasthelate-greatRomanEmpire(27BC–AD476/1453),theAkkadianEmpire(2334BCto2083BC),theOttomanEmpire(1299–1923),andalltheothergreatsandmightyempiresanddynastiesthathavelongsensefallentothememoryofhistory,theUnitedStatesofAmerica(1787–present),israpidlymovingtowardstakingitsplaceamongthe'oncegreatworldpowers'thatwillsoonberelegatedonlytothememoryofhistory.Thatisofcourse,unlessweasapeoplecometogetherasanationofinclusioninsteadofdivision.Butitwilltakesomeheavywork.Ournationcontinuestosufferthroughthesystemicanddisgustingpracticeofracism,whichhasbecomeevenmoreopenandperverseoverthepastseveralyears,sinceDonaldTrumpwasvotedinasPOTUS.Yes,thepowerofSatanisveryvividtome.AndwiththeelectionofDonaldTrump,madepossiblebytheelectoralcollegevote,itwouldappearthatSatan'shandisverymuchinplay,withTrumpas'Damien'andthemajorityoftheRepublicanParty,FoxNewsandright-wingmediaactingashisarmyofdemons,andtogethercompletingthe'Omen'positionedinwhathasbeenforalonglongtimetheMOSTpowerfularmoftheearthlykingdom–theWhiteHouse!

    Obviously,'Damien'isafictionalcharacterdepictedinthemotionpicture“TheOmen,”butTrumpisrealandthosewhosupporthim,despitewhathesaysanddoesonadailybasis,theytooarereal,andareasmuchtofearasTrumphimself.Thesepeoplecomprisedofbothracistandnon-racist(primarilyWhite)Evangelicals,thedisenfranchised,conspiracylovers,bigotsandracists,continuetobemorethanwillingtoselltheirsoulsonbehalfofTrump,aslongasTrumpcandeliverforthemtheirgreatestdesires–regardlessofthedangersheandhispeople(theTRP)posetoourdemocraticRepublic.Trump'sverydarkandbleakinaugurationbackinJanuaryof2017,wasasaweatherforecast,predictinganimminentstormjustoverthehorizon.AttheverystartofhisPOTUS-SHIP,Trump,assistedbyhismanyoutsideandinsideminions,immediatelywenttoworktransformingtheWhiteHouseintohisownpersonalkingdom.Fromdayone,hecommencedfulfillingoneofhismanypromisesmadetothosewhovotedhimintoofficeinNovemberof2016,whichwastoappointasmanyjudgestothecourtsaspossible.ThroughouthisoneandonlytermplayingatPOTUS,Icametorealizethathisdesiretoaddjudgestothecourts,waslesstodowithRoevWade(ortheRepublicanplatform),asitwasforhisownnefariousplans.Anditdidn'tmatterhowlackinginqualificationthey,theappointedjudgeswere.AslongastheymetTrump'sandhisbandofnefariousRepublicansqualifications,theywereappointed.HebegantryingtobanMuslimandvariousnon-WhitecountriesfromenteringtheUnitedStatesofAmerica–whichmadehimverypopularamongthemoreanti-democraticandanti-immigrationhawksacrossthecountry,especiallywiththemorebigotedandracistofhissupportingcastofmisfits.However,thatwasonlythebeginningofTrump'splans.WiththeaidofhisTRPandRepublicanminions,whichalsoincludedhisMOSTwillingandcomplicitmediaandpropagandaoutlets,TrumpandhisminionswereabletoputboththeConstitutionandCongressina'strangle-hold,'anecessaryfeatforsomeonedesiringtobeabovethelawandseekingtheabsolutepowersthatarecravedbythemoredictatorialmindset.InTrump'susversusthemapproachtogoverning,hehasgiventheconfederatesonemorechancetousurpan'absolute'power,White-power,bytryingtobannon-Whiteimmigrantsfromenteringthecountry,toppingitoffbybuildinga“greatbigbeautifulwall”,ashecalledit,andstealingfundsfromthemilitaryinordertoaccomplishhisvainandhighlyselfish,politicalpromisemadetohis“right-wing”extremistvoterportionofAmerica.

    BeforeTrump'selection,thecountrymaynothavebeenthebestitcanbe,butitisforsurethatTrumpandhisminionshavemadeitalotworse.Therearemorethanjusttheideasof'some'whoview(andopenlysay)theybelieveTrumpwasagreatpresidentbecausehefulfilledallofhiscampaignpromises.Well,aconsiderableMOREAmericans(evensomeinhisownBase)believehimtobetheabsoluteworstPOTUSthiscountryhaseverhad.I,too,sharethelatterbelief,andIbelievehistorywillaswell!

ChapterOne-Thesocialbanecalledracism!

    RacismandPolitics,theirbeginningscanbetracedasfarbackastowhenthegiftof'freewill'wasfirstexercisedforaselfishpurpose.Theangel,wholaterbecameknownasthedevilandSatan(mostrefertoasLucifer),theonewhogrewjealousofGOD,hatefultowardsmankind,andpuffedwithpride,choseNOTtoholdfasttoGOD'Struth,butinstead,chosethemantelof'selfrule'bymeansofpoliticsandwithanaffinityforhatefulgoverning.AndthosewhomareblindlysupportingTrump,evenafterbeingremovedfromhisthrone,despiteallofhisimmoralandcriminalacts,hasremainedasJesusexplainsthereatJohn8:44,saying“YouarefromYOURfathertheDevil,andYOUwishtodothedesiresofYOURfather.Thatonewasamanslayerwhenhebegan,andhedidnotstandfastinthetruth,becausetruthisnotinhim.Whenhespeaksthelie,hespeaksaccordingtohisowndisposition,becauseheisaliarandthefatherof[thelie].”Bymeansofpolitics,he,Satan,persuadedonethirdofalltheangelsinheaventofollowhim(Revelation12:4)and,then,heturnedhissightstomankind,causingthewoman(Eve)torebelagainstGOD,whichenabledtheman(Adam)tochoosesidesand,likewise,rebelledagainsttheMostHighGODandthusbecauseofAdam,theentireWorldbecamecoveredinallformsofsintothisveryday.(Genesis3:1-24;Romans5:12-21)

    Here,intheUnitedStatesofAmerica,wearepartofapoliticallyhatefulsociety.Attheverytopofthecurrentpoliticalchain,werepresentthecollectiverace,separatedonlybycolorandreligion,andpulledapartbyjealousyandselfishness,twoofthemainingredientsrequiredforstirringuphatredanddiscord–Theingredientsgrownandmadeavailablebythetruemasterofhateanddiscord..Satanhimself!ButweareuselesstoSatanunlesswearewillingtocommitourwholehearttohim,wherebyheisabletodictatethepathswemoveandmakingusslavestohisbidding.Iwasoncesuchaslavetohispowerfulanddestructiveurges.Butbecauseofmywillingnesstochange,Iwasabletoreleasemyselffrommuchofwhatheldmeback,muchofwhatholdssomanyofusAmericansbacktoday.Icametomysensesasnottoallowmymanyfalseviewsandhypocrisytoguidemeinthisnever-endingjourney.

Atripbackintime.

    AreyousomeoneWhite,BlackorBrown,whogoesthroughlifelookingattheworldthroughaverystereotypicallens?ThisisoneofthethingsIusedtodowhenitcamedowntoWhitepeople.ItwasoncemyfalsebeliefthatallWhitepeoplewerethesame..thattheywouldselltheirownmotherforadime,theyweren'ttobetrusted,andtheywereallracist.NotactuallyrealizingthatIwastheonewhowasbeingracistandnotworthyofanytrust.Insteadofpayingcloseattentiontomyimmediatesurroundings,thatistosay,seeingthegoodnessinWhitepeoplerighthereinmyhometownofPhiladelphia,insteadofrelyingsolelyonwhatIsawontheeveningnews,especiallywhatwasgoingoninthosesouthernstates,howBlackpeoplewerebeingmistreatedbythoseracistWhites,Iallowedmyselftodevelopinmethemost'ignorant'beliefsconcerningWhitepeople.ThesestereotypicalviewsaboutWhitepeopletookholdofmefromaroundearly1963toApril1968.Icanhonestlysay,thiswasn'toneoftheproudestperiodsinmylife.ItwasaperiodwhenIdeniedwhensomereferredtomeasabigotorracist.Iwouldmimicthewordsofcertainprofessionalswhotriedtoputracismand/orbigotryincategoriesbysayingonlyWhitepeoplecanberacistorbigoted..andthatBlackpeoplecouldonlybe'reactionary'toracismandbigotry..meaningthehatredwe(Blacks)cametoshowtowardsWhiteswasduedirectlyfromtheracismandhatredWhitepeopleshowedagainstus,andthatwe(Blacks)werestilltheonlytruevictims.Kindamadesensetomeatthetime,butlateron,afterabitofsoulsearchingandBiblereading,itstartedcomingcleartomethatallowingmyselftobelievesuchthings[excuses]merelyhelpedtostrengthenanyself-justificationIhadforhatingWhites.Still,inaway,theexpertsmadesomegoodpoints.Forcenturies,BlackshadalwaysbeenbeatendownandmistreatedbyracistWhites,especiallysouthernracistWhites!Overtime,it'seasytodiscernitbeingnaturalforBlackstogrowinresentmentfortheonesmostresponsibleforBlacksbeingheldback,socially,economicallyandpolitically!Thatis,ofcourse,untilyouseenon-racistWhiteswillingtosacrificetheirownlivesindefenseofyours.That'swhenIshouldhavebegunthinkingdifferently,butIdidn't..eventhoughIcouldseeitonthenews..readabouttheminnewspapersandmagazines.Instead,Iheldtightlytothenegativethingsthatsome(Isayagain,some)WhitesweredoingtoBlacks.LumpingallWhitestogetherandallowingmyselftobelievethatwashowtheyallacted..thattheyallhatedme–thattheyhatedallBlackpeople,oranyothernon-Whitepeople!So,Irationalizedthesituationbyallowingmyselftobelieveitwasnormalorrighttohateallofthem,..afterall,theyallhateme,don'tthey?

    DespitehowIfeltaboutWhitesasateenager,inNovemberof1967,attheageof18,IjoinedthePennsylvaniaAirNationalGuard(PAANG).Truthwas,IactuallywantedtojointheMarineCorps,buttheprospectofthatdidn'tsittoowellwithmyparents,especiallymyMom.Thethoughtofthatliterallyterrifiedbothofthem..youknow..withthewarinVietnamgoingon,theybelieveditwasasurebetthatI'dbesenttofightandpossiblydiethere.Therewasalotofthatgoing.Someofmyhighschoolbuddieshadalreadylosttheirlivestothatwar,andmyparentsweren'tabouttofacethatpossibilitywithme.IcouldseehowmuchmywantingtojointheMarineCorpsupsetthem,sotoappeasethem,IrelentedtotheirwishesandjoinedthePAANGinstead.

    MyUncle'Walker'(CharlesWalkerCobb),oneofmymother'sbrothers,waswiththethe111thSupplySquadronatWillowGroveNavalAirStation,locatedinHorshamTownship,PA,andwithalittlecoaxingfrommyMom,notonlywasheabletogetmeintotheguardbut,also,hewasabletogetmeassignedtohisunit(the111th)aswell.So,on16November,1967,IwasswornintothePAANG.OnJanuary2nd,thefollowingyear,myuncleWalkerpickedmeuptodrivemetoWillowGroveNavalAirStation,whereIwouldboarda121-cargoplanetoLacklandAFB,SanAntonio,TexasforAirForceBootCamptraining.MyMomandDadwentalongfortherideaswellformoralsupportandtoseemeoff.Itwasduringthisjourneythatmyracialignorancewasexposedrightbeforemyeyes,andIwouldbeforeverchanged.

    ItwasearlythateveningJanuary2nd,1968thatIarrivedatReceivingonLacklandAFB,inSanAntonio,Texas.IwasonlyoneofaboutfiveBlackandBrownpeopleintheentireplatoonofapproximatelysixtyorseventyairmenrecruitstobetrained.AndconsideringhowIfeltaboutWhitepeople,I'msureyoucanimagineatleastsomeofwhatwasgoingthroughmymind.ThiswastheveryfirsttimeIhadbeenawayfromhomealone,awayfromthesupportoffamilyandfriends.Earlyonintraining,IfoundmyselfthinkingalotaboutlivinginGermany,withmyparentsandfourofmyfivebrothersTheophalus,Joseph,RobertandMichael,andoneofmytwosisters,Joann,whowasbornrightthereinGermany.Myfifthbrother,Davidandsecondsister,Victoria,werebornbackinthestatesnotlongaftermyfather'sreturnfromVietnamintheearly60s.Thisiswheremuchofmyconcentrationwentthereinbootcampfromdayone.ThinkingaboutthoseGermanboysIusedtoplaywith,fightandgotoschoolwith.ItwasatimewhenIdidn'thateWhitepeople,becauseIdidn'tfullyunderstandwhatwasgoingonbackinthestates.

    IgotalongwiththeotherBlackandBrownairmenrecruitsexceptforoneofthem.HewasaMexicanboy,aroundmyageandhewasarrogantashell.Itriedtogetalongwithhim,unlikewithanyoftheWhites,butheseemedtoreallygooutofhiswaytomakethatvirtuallyimpossible.HedefinitelyfavoredtheWhiteguys,andhelovedspendingthecouplehoursoffree-timewegotonweekendswiththem.Ihavetoadmit,aftercompletingAirForceBootCampinaroundthemiddleofFebruary1968,Ididn'thavemuchrespectforMexicans,anditwasn'tjustbecauseoftheoneinmyplatoonwhopreferredtohangoutwiththeWhiteguys,insteadofwantingtogettoknowmeandtheotherBlackairmenrecruitsalittlebetter.It'strueIresentedthat,butitwashimsaying,righttomyface,that“we(meaningMexicans)havenothingincommonwithNegros”,wasthewayItookit.That'swhatcausedmetofeelthewayIdidabouthim,andingeneral,howIbeganfeelingaboutmostMexicans.IfeltthathebelievedtheyweresuperiortoBlacks–thathe,personally,wassuperiortome!Itangeredmetothepointofwantingtodogreatbodilyharmtohim.

    Bythetimebootcampwasover,myracistfeelingsforWhiteshadn'tdiminishedonebit.Infact,theyonlygrewstronger,andextendedtoMexicans,duetomyincreasedignorance.Thoughhistoricallyeducational,myvisittotheAlamooutinSanAntonioseemedtoreinforcemydislikeforMexicans.LiketheWhiteracistsIgrewtohate,itwasasifIhadmorphedintothoseIhated.IstartedfeelinglikeIhadmadeabigmistakebyjoiningtheAirNationalGuard,butIdidn'twanttoletmyuncleormyparentsdown,soIforcedawayanydesireIhadforgivingupandbecomingadisappointmentintheireyes.Besides,ifIhad,itwouldbeasiftheracistswerethewinners–andIcouldn'tletthemwin,soIthought!Aftergraduation,itwasthenontoLoweryAFBforTechnicalSchoolTrainingasaMaterialFacilitiesSpecialist–atechnicaltermusedforWarehouse&Supply!

    Whileen-routetoLoweryAirForceBasewhich,bytheway,isinDenver,Colorado,Icouldn'thelpbutthinkaboutthoseMarlborocigarettecommercialsIusedtoseeontelevisionandlistentoontheradio.Thatwasbecauseofthe'snowcapped'mountainsthatcameintoviewasourplaneflewoverthem.Yeah,itwasabeautifulsight,butmymindkeptonthinkingaboutthewild,Whiteboysdresseduplikecowboys,eagerforafightandgunsblazing.But,Ihadhappythoughtstoo,likethinkingthiswasthelastlegofmy'awayfromhome'journey,andinonlyeightmoreweeks,I'dbeonmywaybackhome,backtoPhiladelphia,withfamilyandfriendsandotherpeopleIfeltIcouldrelateto.

    Afterlanding,wewereshuttledtooneoftheregularAirForceDormsfortemporarybilleting.Butafterarriving,wewereinformedthatseveraloftheschoolswerenotyetavailable–minewasoneofthoseschools–andIwouldhavetowaitanadditionaleighttotendaysbeforethenextMaterialFacilitiesclassopenedup.Man,whatablowtomypsyche.Sodisappointing!

Thefirstfewdays,Ididnothingbutgetuptoshower,gotomorningchow,afternoonchowand,then,eveningchowandbacktothedorm.Itwasn'tuntilaroundthefourthdaythatIhappenedtobelookingoutofoneofthedormwindows,ontothelawnareabelow,whenIsawsomethingIfoundtobeprettystrangeatthetime.Therewassnowallaroundthearea,buttherewereaboutadozenorsoWhiteairmenandwomenplayingvolleyball.Butthatwasn'tthestrangestparttome,itwasthefactthattheyweredressedinshorts,nojacketsorcoats,justshortsleeveshirtsandshorts.YoucanimaginehowmuchthissupportedmybeliefthatWhitepeopleweremorethanjustalittlederangedtosaytheleast.IthencalledoneoftheBlackairmenovertothewindow.IwantedhimtotakeaganderatwhatIwasseeing.Hecameovertothewindow,tookalookandsaid“What'ssostrangeaboutthat?”What'sstrangeaboutthat,Ireplied?Heanswered,“yeah,they'rejusthavingfun!”That'swhenoneoftheWhiteairmencameovertohavealook.Irememberhimsaying“Shit,theydothisallthetime.Itonlylookslikeit'scoldoutthere,butitreallyisn't.That'swhythey'reabletowearshortsleevesandshorts.”Irememberthinkingtomyself,'notcold..doyouseeallthatsnowoutthere?'IremembertheBlackairmansayingweshouldgodownandseeforourselves.Atthat,theWhiteairmanwentbacktohisbunk(bed)andIkindawhisperedtotheBlackairman,“Look,Idon'tlikebeingaroundWhitepeople.Idon'ttrustorlikethem.”Hethensaid,“Yo,thisisn'taboutthem,it'saboutgettingoutofthissquad-bayforalittlewhile.It'sjustsomethingtodo!”Iagreed(besidesIdidn'twanttoalienatemyselffromapossiblefriendship)..So,weputonourcoatsanddecidedtodojustthat.Sureenough,itfeltasifitwasabout50degrees,butIlaterfoundoutitwasonly43degrees.Butitcouldn'tbe,Ithought,becausebackhomeinPhilly,thesnowwouldhavemelteddowntonothingbutwaterat43degrees.IlearnedthemountainairwasverydifferentfromtemperaturesIwasusedtofeelingbackhome.Anyway,itwasgettingprettyhotinsidethecoatIwaswearing.SowastheBlackairmanIwaswith.Hiscoatwasevenheavierthanmine.IunderstoodwhyItookoffmycoat,Ijustdidn'tunderstandwhyIdecidedtostandaroundandwatchthemplayvolleyballinthesnow.AsIstoodtherewatching,oneofthefemalesplayingattheaskedifIwantedtogetinonthefun.Itoldhernothanks.ThenseveralotherWhitestriedtonudgemeontojointhegame.ButIkeptsayingno!Ididn'twanttointeractwiththem.Still,Ifeltcompelledtostandthereandwatchastheybattedtheballbackandforthforabout35moreminutesorso.Finally,Isimplywentbackinside,andleftthemtotheirfun.TheBlackairmanIwaswithdecidedtostayandwatchalittlelonger.WhenIlookedoutoneofthedormwindows,Inoticedthathehaddecidedtobattheballbackandforthtoo.ThishappenedonaSaturdaymorning,lastingintothelateafternoonbeforetheyfinallycalleditquits.WhentheBlackairmanfinallyreturned,hecouldn'tstoptalkingabouthowmuchfunhehadplayingvolleyball.Curiously,Iaskedhimwhathethoughtaboutthem..theWhiteairmenandwomenheplayedvolleyballwith?Hetoldmetheyseemedrealnice,notlikemanyoftheWhitesbackinhishometownofNewark,NewJersey.That'swhenIsaid,“Inoticedyousaidtheyweren'tlikemanyWhitesbackhome,..hethensaid,“Yeah,Ineversaidtheywereallnice,anymorethantheyarealllikethewayyoubelieve.”Ireplied,“Whatever,Idon'ttrustorlikeanyofthem.They'llsmileatyouallday,butthetruthis,Ibelievedeepdowninside,they'reallabunchofracist!”Hedisagreed,citingalloftheWhitepeoplehehadcometoknow,somehecouldreallycallfriends,aswellasthoseIhaddescribed.Hethenadded,“There'sreallyalotofgoodWhitepeopleoutthere.Ican'tspeaktoyourpersonalexperiences,butfrommyexperience,Iknow,personally,there'salotofgoodWhitepeopleintheworld.”Again,Idisagreedwithhim,citingmyownreasonsforbelievingasIdid.Yet,now,Icanhonestlyadmittheywerestupidreasons,butbackthen,theywerejustifiableinmymind.NowthatIthinkaboutit,eventhoughairmanJackson(whichlaterIlearnedwashisname)didn'tagreewithhowIfeltaboutWhitepeople,heletmeknowthatheunderstoodhowIcouldformsuchopinions.

    Anyway,likeme,JacksontoowaswaitingforthenextMaterialFacilitiesSpecialistclasstoopenup(soIassumed),andIjustknewwe'dprobablyendupinthesameclass.Havingafriendtostudywithisalwayssomethinggoodtohave,Ithought.But,asluckwouldhaveit,wedidn'tendupinthesameclassafterall.Infact,hisclasswasn'teveninmaterialfacilities..ithadsomethingtodowithfoodservicesifIremembercorrectly.But,asitturnedout,havingairmanJacksonasafriendtostudywithwasn'ttheonlybenefit.Havinghimasafriend,wouldhelpmereevaluatemyfeelingsaboutWhitepeopleinamostunexpectedandprofoundway.

Theprofoundrealization.

    ItwasacoupleofdaysafterourconversationthatJacksoninformedmethathehadbeeninvitedtotheEnlistedMen'sClub..youknow,foranightofsomerelaxation,chit-chatandafewroundsofsome3.2beer.Backthen,thatwasthemaximumvolumebeeryouwereallowedtodrinkunder21.HetoldmehecouldbringafriendandaskedifIwantedtogo?Iaskedhimwhoinvitedhim,orsomethinglikethat..andIrememberhimhesitatingeversoslightlybeforeheansweredmyquestion.HetoldmehewasattheBaseExchangeandranintoacoupleoffriendsheknewbackhome.Hisslighthesitationtroubledmeabit,soIjustcameoutwithit,“AretheyWhite,Iasked?Hereplied,“Yes,they'reWhite,butI'veknownthembasicallyallmylife.”Nevertheless,outofstrongcuriosity,Iacceptedhisinvitation,andthatnightwewenttotheclub.Theclubwasprettycrowded,buttherewasstillplentyofroomtomoveaboutandtablestosit.Aswewalkedthroughtryingtolocatehisfriends,webothnoticedanairmanwavinghisarmsandcallingouttoJackson,“overhere..Jackson!”IwassurehewasoneofthefriendshetoldmehemetfrombackhomeattheBX.HecouldseeIwasn'ttheleastbithappy,butratherthanmakeascene,Ifollowedhimovertothetablewheretheyweresitting.Atthetableweretwoothers..aBlackguyandaPuertoRican.NeitheroneofthemwereairmenbutwerefriendsofthetwoWhiteairmenfriendsofJackson.WhenIfirstsawthemupclose,IgotthefeelingIhadseenthembefore.Ididn'tknowfromwhere,butIwassureIhadseenthembefore.Iwasright,Ihadseenthembefore.ThetwoWhiteguysjusthappenedtobeofthoseIsawplayingvolleyballseveraldaysearlieronSaturday.AdetailJacksonfailedtomentionatthetimeIaskedhimiftheywereWhite.Prettyearlyintoournightoutforfun,IlearnedthatthetwoWhiteairmenwerethemselvesfromNewark,andtheBlackandPuertoRicanguysweretheirfriendsandlivedinDenver.IfIremembercorrectly,Jackson'stwoWhitefriendswerethereatLoweryAFBforschoolaswell,buttheywereregularAirForce,andIthinktheycameinonthebuddysystem.Ibelievetheywerealreadyintheirthirdorfourthweekofschool.AsfarastheirBlackandPuertoRicanfriendsfromDenver,tobehonest,Ididn'tevenknowBlackpeoplelivedinDenver,Colorado..moreorlessPuertoRicans.Well,maybethat'snotquitetrue..butIsuredidn'texpecttheirkindoffriendship.BackhomeinPhilly,itjustwasn'tthatcommontome.

    Allthestudentshada10:00PMcurfew,whichmeantwehadtobebacktothedormbythattime.Itwasaround8:15orsowhenfourfemalescameintotheclubandsatdownatatableclosetoours.Thewaywewereseated,gaveusaclearviewofeachother.TherewerethreeWhitefemalesandoneBlack,andtheywerealllookingourway.OneoftheWhitefemalesatthetableIrememberedrightoff.ShewastheonewhofirstaskedmeifI'dliketojoininthevolleyballgametheywereplayingthatSaturdaymorning..thesamegameairmanJacksonstayedaroundandjoinedinhimself.Shegotupfromhertableandstartedwalkingovertoours.SheknewoneofJackson'sfriendssittingatourtable,andrememberedJacksonfromtheSaturdayvolleyballgame.ShesaidhellototheWhiteairmanandJacksonand,then,kindaboldlyintroducedherselftomeandtheothertwosittingatthetable.Iremember,also,aparticularrecordthathadjuststartedplaying,“DoesYourMamaKnowAboutMe”byBobbyTaylor.Andwitheveryoneelsesittingatthetable,shelooksatmeandaskedifI'dliketodance.Ihesitatedatfirstthinking..whyme?Mylittlehesitationpromptedhertosaytome,“You'renotafraidtodancewithme..areyou?”whileatthesametimetakingmyrighthandandpullingmeupfrommyseat.Lookingbackonthatparticularmoment,Ican'tpositivelysayiftherewasonesingularthingthatcausedmetoacceptherdanceinvitation.PerhapsitwastoprovetoherthatIwasn'tafraidtodancewithher,orbecauseofthehornyfeelingIhadatthetime.Afterall,shewaspretty,andlookedawfullygoodinthetight-fittingpants(maybeJeans)shehadon.Itcouldhavealsobeendueto(whatIconsideredatthetime)theunusualdarkcomplexionIwasn'tusedtoseeingonWhitegirls,exceptformaybeafterspendingadayatthebeachinAtlanticCity.Andshedidhavereallysmoothandbeautifulskin.Or,itcouldhavebeenforthereasonIcametobelievelateron..thatthroughsomedivineintervention,GODHimselfwasbringingmetorealizewhatJacksonhadtoldmewastrue..notallWhitepeopleinAmerica(intheworld)areracist.Butthatbeliefwouldcometofruitionlateron.Forrightthen,I'msureitwasprobablyanythingandeverythingtomebuttheideaofadivineintervention.Morelikelyitwasmyneedtoprovesomethingtomyself,andtoher,toallWhitepeopleingeneral,thatIwasjustasimportantastheyare.Aswecontinuedtodancethatfirsttime,theonlythingIknewofherwasthathernamewasCathy.So,Iaskedherquestions,sheaskedmequestions,andwelearnedsomethingsabouteachother.Forinstance,IlearnedthatsheandherfamilywereoriginallyfromBostonanddecidedtomovetoDenverinSeptemberof1957.Then,shesaidsomethingthatreallycaughtmeoffguard.ShetoldmeshejoinedtheAirForcein1966,andwascurrentlyaairmansecondclassorsomething..Idon'tknowforsure,butshecouldhavetoldmeshewasageneralandallI'dstillprobablyrememberonlytheyearshejoined–1966!Isaidtoher,“1966?”Shereplied,“yep,1966!”I'msureyoucanfigureoutwhatmynextquestionwas.Youguessedit..howoldshewas!Shesaidwithasmileonherface..“I'llbe21inJuly(1968).”Isaid,21?..yousurehadmefooled.Youdon'tlookmorethanabout17or18.SheaskedmehowoldIwas?ItoldherIjustturned19onthe15thofthismonth(February).Oncetherecordfinishedplaying,webothstartedbacktoourrespectivetables,onlybythattime,theguyshadarrangeditsothattheirtablewasrightnexttoours..thetablesintheclubweren'tlargeenoughtohavemorethanfourorfivechairsatatime.Weconversed,playedpinballandpooluntilalmostcurfew.Then,itwasbacktoourtemporaryhousingintimeforrollcall.

    Itwashardtoexplain,evendownrightaggravating,butforsomereasonIcouldn'tgetCathyoffmymindoverthenextfewdays.Then,itwastheweekendagain.ItwouldbethefinalweekendspentatthetemporaryhousingdormbecausethatSaturdayourordersforschoolcamedown,andweweretoreportforclassthatfollowingTuesdayat0800.OnMonday,wewereassignedtotwo-mandormsfortheremainderoftechschool.But,andIcan'trememberwhathappened,Iendedupwithadorm-roomtomyself.Idon'trememberiftheygottheassignmentsmesseduporwhat,butIwoundupwitharoomtomyselfthroughouttechtraining,whichwasalittleshortof8weeks.Thefirstweekoftechschoolwasveryaggressive.Thatistosay,theinstructorswentthroughvariousjobdescriptionsandrequirementsalmostatlightspeed.Thiswasdoneonpurposetodeterminehowmuchinformationwecouldretain.ThefollowingMonday,wereceivedourfirsttest.Thoseofuswhostudiedovertheweekenddidprettywell.Thosewhodidn't..well..youcanimaginethedisappointmentandembarrassmenttheyfeltwhentheinstructorcallouttheirnames.Iwasoneoftheembarrassed..butIlearnedagoodlesson–studyorfail–theinstructor'smessagecameoverloudandclear.Isn'titkindafunnywhenpeoplecausebadthingstohappen,theygetangrywhenithappens?Thatwasme..Ididn'ttakestudyingseriousthatfirstweek..andgotmadwhenIwasexposedinclass.LiveandlearnIsay..andIwouldgoontolearnagreatdealintechschool..butnothingcomparedtowhatI'dgoontolearnaboutlife.

    AfterwhatIconsideredtobeadisasterofaweek,thefollowingweekwasmuchmorepositiveandproductive.AsIheadedintomysecondweekendoftechschool,Fridayeveningaround2000(8:00pm)airmanJackson,whowasnotinmymaterialfacilitiesclassbutwasassignedtothesameschoolsdorm,cametomyroomtoaskifIwantedtogotoacookouttomorrow(Saturday).Isaid“sure..I'dlikethat..where'sitat,onbase?”Hesaidno,andthatitwasactuallyoffbase,outintown!Likeme,Jacksondidn'thaveacar,soIaskedhimhowwouldwegetthere?Hetoldmenottoworryaboutit,it'sallbeentakencareof.Wejusthadtobereadyby1000(intheA.M.).ThatSaturdaymorning,Iwokeuparound0700,didmynormalmorningregulars,youknow,thethreeSs,andwenttomorningbreakfastaround0745.IfirststoppedoffatJackson'sroomtoseeifhewantedtogotobreakfastwithme.Atthetime,hetoldmehewasn'thungry,butlateronIwouldfindoutwhy.IateaverylightbreakfastinanticipationofthecookoutIwasinvitedto.BythetimeIgotbacktothedormitwasaround0835.Ihadalittletimebeforeleavingforthecookout,soIdecidedtogetinsomequickstudiesonwarehouseprocedures,whichincludedshipping,receiving,stockingandinventory.Itwasaround0930whenoneoftheairmenknockedonmydoorandtoldmeIhadacallintheTVroom.ItookthecallandlearnedthatitwasCathy.Youknow,theWhitegirlIdancedwithattheclubwhileIwasintemporarybilleting.NeedlesstosayIwassurprised.Notjustbecauseitwashercallingmebut,two,becauseshewastheonewhowouldbepickingmeandJacksonupforthecookoutat1000.Shewantedtoletmeknowthatshe'dbetheretopickmeupoutsideinfrontofthedormat1000.Ireallydidn'thavetoaskherhowshewasabletogetintouchwithme.AfterallsheknewIwasinschool,andshewasa2yearAirForceveteran.FindingoutwhereIwashousedshouldn'thavebeenanyproblemforher.Ihavetoadmit,foramomentduringthecall,IwantedtosaythatIwassorrybutIcan'tmakeit.Butsomethingtoldmetoholdbackonthatthoughtandmoveforward.So,Idid,becausenowIwasreallycuriousaboutwhyme?Whyher?IwenttoJackson'sroomtogivehimtheupdate.Hetoldmehewassorry,buthewasn'tabletogotothecookout.Now,Iwasreallytroubled.Iaskedhimwhynot,ofcourse?Hetoldmehewasn'tfeelinggood,andhewasgonnagotomedicaltogethimselfcheckedoutandprobablystayinhisdormroomallday.Icansaythis,ifIhadhadCathy'sphonenumber,Iprobablywouldn'thavedecidedtogotothecookout.Iwouldhaveprobablygoneintofullmodesecond-guessing..likewhocooksoutinthewintertime,orsomethinglikethat.ButIhadnowaytocontacther,soIdecidedtogoanyway.

    Justlikeclockwork,Cathywasinfrontofthedormat1000thatSaturdaymorning.Igotintohercar,whichbythewaywasherfather's,andoffbasewewent.Whileshewasdriving,sheaskedmeifwehadcookoutsbackhomeinPhillyinthewintertime?Isaidno,wehadcookoutsonlyinthesummertime,andusuallybetweenJulyandSeptember.Infact,wetalkedaboutquiteafewthingsintherelativelyshortdrivetoherhouse,everythingexceptJacksonandwhyhedidn'tcomewithme.Buttheanswerbecameclearabout5minutesorsofromherhome.Shepulledoveronthesideoftheroadjustminutesawayfromherhome.Turnedofftheignitionandturnedtomeandsaid,“Ibelieveinbeingblunt,straightforwardso,hereitis:'Whydon'tyoulikeWhitepeople?'”Iwaspositivelydumbfounded!Ididn'tknowwhattosay,ordo,exceptsitthereinthecarlookingstupidandignorant.SoIaskedherwhotoldherIdidn'tlikeWhitepeople?Andcontinued(mimickingherownwords),“Nowrememberwhatyousaid,youbelieveinbeingbluntandstraightforward(smilingandtryingtomakelightofitall).”That'swhenshetoldmethatJacksonhadtoldhisfriendsandthefriendsheknewtoldher.Ofcourse,IknewithadtobeJackson.Imean,whoelsecouldithavebeen.IwasangryatJackson,butIplayeditcool.Itoldheritwassomethingthathadbeenbuildingupinmeforsometime.IexplainedtoherthewayWhitepeopletreatBlackpeoplebackhome,downsouthandalloverthecountry,mademebitterandhatefultowardthem.Afterstatingthat,Ijustsatthere,eyesgazingthroughthewindshieldandthinkinghowIdidn'thavetoworryaboutgoingtothecookoutnow.Or,soIthought!

Thingsaren'talwayswhattheyseem.

    Cathy,afterlisteningtowhatIhadtosay,didn'tspeakforafewsecondsandthensaid,“Well,Iguessthatmeansyoumusthatemetoo.Youdon'treallyknowme,butyouhatemeforwhatothershavedone,andforhowthey'vemadeyoufeel.”Shecontinuedbysaying,“WhenwelivedinBoston,therewasalotofracialhatredtheretoo.Infact,thatwasoneofthemainreasonsmyparentsleftBostonandmovedthefamilyheretoDenver.”WhyDenver,Iasked?Shesaidhergrandparents,onherfather'sside,haddiedandlefteverythingtoherdad,withthestipulationthattheywouldnevergiveawayorselltheirpropertytoastranger.Shesaid,“theplacewe'regoingtonowisthesameplacemygrand-parentslivedinsincetheymovedherefromBostonalmost30yearsago.”IwasnoEinsteinoranythinglikethat,butIcouldcount..addandsubtract,andsomethingwasn'taddingup.Ithoughtshewastalkingoutofherbutt,andforgotshehadtoldmeattheclubthatsheandherparentshadonlybeenlivinginDenversinceSeptemberof1957.Yet,nowshe'stellingmethathergrand-parentshavebeenlivinghereforsome30years.SoIsaid,“Ithoughtyousaidyouandyourparentsmovedoutherein1957?”BeforeIcouldcontinue,shesaid,“Iknowwhatyou'rethinking.Howcouldmygrandparentshavelivedhereforalmost30years..right?”Inoddedmyheadyes,thenshereplied,“It'slikethis,wheremygrandparentslivedinBoston,interracialmarriageswerereallyfrownedon.MygrandparentshadtotakealotofflackfromignorantpeoplealloverBoston.ThoughmainlyfromWhites,therewereBlackswhodidn'tliketheideaeither.”Shewentontosay,“Yousee,mygrandfather,whowasWhite,wasaninsurancesalesman,andwhenapositionwasofferedtohimouthereinDenver,hejumpedonit,andthenmovedthefamilytoDenver.I'msureyou'vefiguredoutthatmygrandmotherwasBlack,andshewasreallybeautiful.Irememberhowmuchmygrandfatherlovedher.IthurthimalottoseehertreatedsobadlybackinBoston.”FromtimetotimeIcouldseeherholdingbackfromemotion,butcontinuedtoexplainsaying,“Thatwasbackin1938..myfatherwasonly10yearsoldatthetime.”Ican'trememberbeingsoengrossedbyastory.Itwasgoingon1100,andratherthanhavehercontinueonwithastorythatwasobviouslypainful,Ilookedatmywatchandsaid,“Look,youdon'thavetoexplainanymoretome.Ikindagetwhereyou'recomingfrom.Itwasmymisunderstanding.WhenyousaidyourparentsmovedtoDenverin1957,Itookthatasmeaningyourwhole'family'(grandparents,motherandfather).Mymistake.Ididn'tmeantodoubtyourhonesty.Besides,it'sgoingon1100andIknowyou'reanxioustogettoyourparents'cookout.”Shereplied,“That'salright,thecookoutisn'tuntil1330(1:30PM)anyway.IactuallywantedtospendthistimetryingtolearnwhyyoufeelthewayyoudoaboutWhitepeople.IfiguredifItoldyoumystory,itwouldmakeitalittleeasierforyoutoopenup.”Nosoonerthanshesaidthat,shewentontosay,“Whenmyfatherturned20,hejoinedtheAirForce.Thatwasin1948,oneyearaftertheAirForcewasfirstestablished.Asamatteroffact,hewasn'tstationedtoofarfromPhiladelphia..McGuireAFB,nexttoFortDix,inNewJersey!”Isaid,“Youknowyou'reright.IremembermyDadtakingmeandmybrotherTheotoFortDixinthemid50s.”SheaskedmeifmyDadwasintheAirForce?Itoldher,“No,hewasintheArmy!HewasmedicallydischargedforwoundssufferedinVietnam.”Suddenly,apoliceofficerorstatepolicemanpulledupalongsideusandaskediftherewasaproblem?Cathy(withasmile)toldhim,“Noofficer,noproblem..justsittingheretalking.We'rebothstationedatthebase.”Idon'tmindsayingit,butIfeltsomewhatintimidatedatthispoint.Seeingthatofficer,whowasWhite,wearingthosetentedglasses..lookinglikesomethingoutof“SmokeyandtheBandits.”Buttomysurprise,hewasreallykoolaboutthewholething,saying(withagrin)..“Welldon'ttalktoolong,youdon'twanttogetrearendedhereonthesideoftheroad.”Ithoughttomyself,“Wow!TheonlyofficerIrememberbeingthatkoolwasaBlackpolicemanweusedtocall'quickdraw'atOverbrookHighSchoolbackhomeinPhilly.”

    Aftertheofficerpulledoff,CathyaskedmeifIstillwantedtogotothecookout.Ifnot,she'dtakemebacktothebase.Butbythattime,mycuriositywasrunningwild.Iwasanxious,can'tdenythat..butIfeltasifsomethingwasurgingmeon..asifsomethingorsomeonewastellingmethiswasimportantformetodo.Ireplied,simply“Let'sgotothecookout!”Asshedroveuptoherparents'home,allIcouldseewasthisbighousesittingonaboutafourthacreoflandwithnofencing.Therewasaboutsixorsevencarsparkedoverthegrassyareasaboutthehouse.Thehomewasbeautifulontheoutside,buttrulyevenmorebeautifulontheinside.Downstairsfireplaceandalivingroomareathatseemedaslargeastwothirdsofmyentiredownstairsbackhome.Onthemantleoverthefireplace,therewereabout,ohIguesseightorninelargeandsmallpictures.Thereweretwolargeframedpicturesthatcaughtmyeyesimmediately.Cathypointedtooneofthemsaying,“Thesearemygrandparents,whentheywerefirstmarried!”Thepicturequalitywasn'tthebestbutIcouldseewhatCathyhadtoldmeearlierwastrue..hergrandmotherwastrulyabeautifulwoman.Lightskinned,smoothcomplexion,andtrulysofteyes,brownIthinkCathytoldme!Then,shepointedtotheotherlargepicture,andsaid,“Thisismymomanddad,whentheywerefirstmarried!”Themaninthepicture,herfather,nodoubtwasblackbutifCathyhadn'ttoldmeherstory,Iwouldhaveneverguessedit.Hermotherinthepicture,ifIremembercorrectlyhernamewasJoannawasWhite,andCathywasherspittingimage,onlywithhergrandmother'ssmoothcomplexion.Itwasallcomingcleartome.Cathy'skindatannedcomplexionwasduetoher'mixed-race'heritage.IrememberedwhenIfirstsawherattheclub.Howunusuallydarkhercomplexionseemedtomeatthattime.NowIknewforsure,andIwastotallysurprised!

    Aftergivingmeanunintendedtourofthedownstairsofherhome,Cathyescortedmetotherearwherethecookoutwastakingplace.Icouldsmellthebarbecuecookingfromthetimewefirstgotoutofthecar.There'snothinglikethesmellofbarbecue.Whetherit'sbackhomeorinColorado,itdoesn'tmatter,thesmellisalwaysthesame..anywhere!Oncewegottotherear,oneofthefirstfacesIsawwasoneofthefriendsofJackson.Itturnedoutthathewastheonesheknew.HewasalsotheonewhotoldCathyIhatedWhitepeople.Youcanimaginewhatwasgoingthroughmymindatthatmoment.IfIweretoforgeteverynameIeverknewinAmerica,Iwillneverforgethis.Anthony(Tony)wassomeonewhosenameyoucouldn'tforget.Notnearlyasoutgoingattheclub,hewasbasicallythelifeoftheparty.NottomentionthefoxyBlackgirlhewaswith,whoIwouldfindoutlaterwashisfiance.ButTonywasn'tbyhimself.Atthecookoutwereseveralinterracialcouples.Allgettingalongwithoneanotherwithoutacareintheworld.Anditwasnoact.Thesepeoplewereforreal.AllaroundmewereWhitepeople..Blackpeople..anAsiancoupleand,youguessedit,anHispaniccouple(husbandandwife)andtheyallhadonereallybigthingincommon..theywerethebestoffriends!

Cathyintroducedmetohermomanddad.Inperson,hewasfairlytall,say6.2or,maybe6.3.HeaskedmeifIwasplanningonmakingtheAirForceacareer.ItoldhimIwasn'tsure..there'sstillafewotherthingsI'dliketoexplorebeforecommittingtooneparticularthing.He,himself,servedforfouryearsintheregularAirForce,butlikehisfather,optedtobecomeaninsurancesalesmaninstead.Hetoldmehethoughtaboutmakingit,theAirForce,asacareer,butthatfatehadpresentedhimwithadifferentcalling.Itjustsohappenedthatthefatehereferredtowastakingoverhisfather'sinsurancebrokerage.Then,Cathyintroducedmetohermother,Joanna.ShewasofItaliandescent,whichIwouldn'tfindoutuntillaterfromCathy.She,justlikeJames,wasasdowntoearthasanyoneIhaveeverseen,otherthanmyownmomanddadthatis.Ifoundhertobeasniceasshewasbeautiful,andIcouldseemoreandmorefromwhereCathygotherlooksandmuchofherfigure.Ihavetoadmit,however,whenCathytoldmehermotherwasofItaliandescent,itreallydidsurprisemealittle.Sure,IheardallthetalesmyfatheranduncleswouldtellaboutItaliangirlsoverseasduringthegreatwar.Buttheonesbackhome,ItalianAmericans,theygenerallystucktothemselves.Imean,theydidn'tmindhavingyouasafriend,butwhenitcametomixing,well,thatwasanotherstory.Onlyonceina'blue-moon'wouldyouseethathappen.Aftersomeadditionalconversationwiththeparents,Cathyintroducedmetotheotherguests.AsIalludedtoearlier,theydidn'trepresentthetypicalcollectionoffriendsIwasusedtofindingbackhome.Theyweregenuinelyverygoodfriends,andtheirattitudetowardsoneanotherwasproofofthattome.Towardstheendofthecookout,James,Cathy'sfather,heldupaglassofrootbeersodaandofferedupatoasttoeveryone.Jamesdidn'tdrinkhardliquororevenregularbeer.OnlyduringThanksgivingandChristmaswouldheeventouchwine.Buthelovedrootbeersoda.Funnything,Ican'tremembereverbeingcoldduringthetimeofthecookout,itwasn'tuntilJamesofferedupthetoasttohisfamilyandgoodfriendsthatIstartedfeelingtheleastbitchilly.Itwassosurreal!

Thebeginningofatransformation.

    NomentionofmyhatredforWhiteswaseverbroughtupatthecookout,butIwascertaineveryonethereknewofit.Truthis,asCathywouldconvincemeonourwaybacktobase,nomentionofsuchwasmadebyCathyorTonytoanyonethere.Mymereasking,showedthatIwasstartingtocareabouthowpeopleperceivedmeregardingmyfeelingsaboutWhitepeople,somethingIcouldn'thavecaredlessaboutinthepast.WhenCathydroppedmeoffatthedorm,Ithankedheragainforinvitingmetoherparent'scookout,andthatIhadagreattime.Iaskedhertotellherparentsthanksforme,andthatIenjoyedmyselfverymuch.Shesaidshewould,andasIstartedwalkingawayfromthecar,shecalledmebackandaskedmehadIgonetothemovieslately.Isaidno,notlately.SheaskedifI'dliketogotothemovieswithhertomorrow(Sunday)afternoon?Isaidsure.Shetoldmethatshehadwantedtoseeamoviethatjustcameoutcalledthe'PlanetoftheApes'andwouldImindgoingwithher?Itoldheritwasfinewithme.Shesaidgreat,my(her)treat!Atthetime,Ihadlessthantendollarstomyname,anditwouldbeanotherweekortwobeforemynextpayday.Whenshesaid'hertreat,'Ifeltasighofreliefyouwouldn'tbelieve.IwastooembarrassedtotellherIdidn'thaveanymoney.

    Itwasonlyaround1730(5:30PM)orsowhenCathydroppedmeoff.IdecidedtogetsomestudyinginbeforegoingdowntotheRec.Roomtowatchalittletelevision.IhadbeenstudyingforacoupleofhourswhensuddenlyIjuststopped.Youguessedit,IhadCathyonmymind!Imean,afterallshe'snotreallyWhite,notreally!ShemaypassasWhite,butlikeherfather,she'sjustasethnicallyBlackasIam.So,what'sthebigdeal?,Ithought!Tobetruthful,Iwasactuallystartingtoquestionmyself..youknow,myhatredforWhitesandallthat.IstartedthinkingaboutwhatairmanJacksonhadsaidtome.That'swhenIkindashoutedout–Jackson,youdirtydog!So,quicklyIstoodupfromthedeskinmyroom,andwentdowntoJackson'sroom.JustasIopenedmydoor,whodoIseecomingmyway,noneotherthanJacksonhimself!“YoAke(shortforAkers)he'dalwayscallme,howwasthecookout?”Thoughnotreallymadathim,thatistosay,notanymore,IdecidedtoplayitasifIwere.Isaidtohim,“WhywouldyoutellTonyaboutmyfeelingstowardsWhites,andsendmeintothefirelikethat?”Hisanswertomewassimple,hesaid“That'showIlearned,Ithoughtyoumighttoo.”He'dgoontosay,“So,didyoulearnanything,Ake?”Isaid,“Yeah,Ilearnedsomething.IlearnedCathyisBlack,notWhitelikeIthought.”Hesaid,“ReallyAke..that'sallyoulearned?”Isaid,“Totellyouthetruth,Jackson,Idon'tknowwhatIlearned.”Iwentontosay,“Iknowonethingthough,I'vegotalottothinkabout.Imean,there'salotgoingoninmyheadrightnow.I'mnotcertainofanything,notanymore!”Hetoldmethatwashowitwaswithhim..inthebeginning.Hetoldmethatfromthetimehewasalittleboy,allheheardhismotherandfathertalkaboutwashowcruelandevilWhitepeoplewere.Hewasabouttosaymore,butbeforehecould,Iinterruptedhimsaying,“Atleastyouhadanexcuse.Iwasn'traisedlikethat.Mymomanddadalwaysstressedtreatingeverybodywithrespect.I'mnotsayingtheydidn'tgetangryatWhitesfromtimetotime,buttheyneverwentoutoftheirwaytoteachmehowtohatethem.Ilearnedthatonmyown!”

    IneverdidgetdowntotheRec.Room,norevenfinishmystudying.MeandJacksontalkedwellintothenight.HetoldmehowoneofhisfriendswasbeatentodeathbyWhiteracistswhenhewasonly14.Hesaidtheybeathimwithchainsandkickedhimintheheadmultipletimes.Ittookhim2weekstodieinthehospital,andtothatdaynoarrestsweremade.ItoldhimhowitwaswhenmydadwasintheArmy.IrememberhimbeingtreatedlikecraplivinginGeorgia..beingcalledniggerbyWhites,evenwhileinuniform.BackhomeinPhilly,itwasn'tmuchbetter.Iremembertellinghim,“YouknowsomethingJackson,myfeelingstowardsWhitesreallystartedheatinguparoundthetimemydadcamehomefromVietnam.HetookshrapnelinbothlegsandwashospitalizedforquitesometimeintheVAHospitalinPhiladelphia.WhenIthoughtabouthowloyalhewastotheArmy,howWhitestreatedhiminandoutofthemilitary..nottomentionwhatIsawonthenews,particularlydownsouth,Ithinkthat'swhenmyhatredforWhitepeoplewastrulyborn.”Jacksonaskedme,“Buthowdoyoufeelnow..Imean,aftermeetingCathy'sfriends,aswellasherparents?”Ireplied,“LikeIsaid..Ireallydon'tknowwhattothink.Theonethingthat'sforsurerightnow..isthatI'mnotsureaboutanything!MaybeI'llfeeldifferentaftertomorrow(Sunday)CathyandIhaveamoviedatetomorrowafternoon.”IcontinuedbyaskingJackson,“Whatdoyouthink?WhatImeanis,whydoyouthinksheappearstobesointerestedin