Second Chances E-Book

Mayer Dale

• Herausgeber: Valley Publishing Ltd.
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2018

Beschreibung

Go ahead. Take charge of your life. Move forward…if you can…

Changing her future means letting go of her past. Karina heads to a weekend seminar and discovers the speaker is the person she needs to move on from. But she soon realizes bigger issues are facing her…

Brian has moved on, at least he’d believed he had… until he sees Karina in his audience…and realizes he’s been lying to himself.

Passion pulls them together, love binds them together, but a revengeful enemy determines to keep the two apart…and destroy them both.

Leseprobe

Second Chances

Second Chances…at Love

Dale Mayer

Table of Contents

Cover

Title Page

About This Book

Complimentary Download

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Epilogue

Sneak Peek from Mason

Author’s Note

Complimentary Download

About the Author

Copyright Page

About This Book

Take charge of your life – if you dare…

Karina knows that the only way to change her future is to let go of the past. But, in a brutally ironic twist, when she heads to a self-improvement weekend seminar, she discovers that the lead speaker is the very person she needed to make a clean break from!

Brian had convinced himself he’d moved on with his life after his relationship with Karina shattered, but, after he recognizes her in the audience of his workshop, he realizes he’s been lying to himself to cope with his devastating loss. What right does he have to give lofty guidance about moving forward in life when he most of all needs to take his own advice?

Even after all their time apart, passion draws Karina and Brian together, love refused to die…and a vengeful enemy is deadly serious about ripping them apart again – this time for good.

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KILL OR BE KILLED

Part of an elite SEAL team, Mason takes on the dangerous jobs no one else wants to do – or can do. When he’s on a mission, he’s focused and dedicated. When he’s not, he plays as hard as he fights.

Until he meets a woman he can’t have but can’t forget. Software developer, Tesla lost her brother in combat and has no intention of getting close to someone else in the military. Determined to save other US soldiers from a similar fate, she’s created a program that could save lives. But other countries know about the program, and they won’t stop until they get it – and get her.

Time is running out … For her … For him … For them …

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Chapter 1

Her heart racing, Karina pushed open the glass double doors and walked into the almost deserted pub. Her breath quickened as she searched the faces of the few patrons inside. Had he left already? Or was Brian Saunders somewhere here, drowning his sorrows? Wendy, Brian’s girlfriend of two years, had broken up with him and taken off for Europe, or some such thing. Karina knew she should feel sorry for him, but instead her mind wouldn’t stop pestering her.

Here’s your chance. One last shot to make him notice you before you go home and never see him again.

That the timing sucked wouldn’t stop her.

Besides, if anyone asked, she was just here having a drink. And she could use one. Her last exam was done. She’d finally finished school and damn if she didn’t feel like crying instead of cheering.

“Hey, Karina, thought you’d have booked it by now.”

She waved at one of several friends having a good time at a nearby table. Most of the students who’d finished exams had already left, and the few stragglers writing tomorrow were either cramming or here trying to forget about writing in the morning.

“Nah. Leaving in the morning. It’s a long drive and I so don’t want to deal with that tonight. Or the ferry.”

That elicited several nods. Anyone who lived on Vancouver Island knew about ferry woes to the mainland. She’d tossed around the idea of staying on the island, had even looked for work, but nothing had come of it, so she was heading home to Vancouver. Victoria, and the university in particular, would stay a happy memory. And, in some ways, a tough one.

She ordered a draft at the bar and turned around to take another look. Maybe she’d missed Brian in her first skim.

Shit. Ian Blackburn was here, too. And he’d seen her. Shit, shit, and triple shit. He’d always been super friendly to her, but there was something about him that gave her the creeps. And then last week she’d seen another side of him altogether. A professor in one of the classes they’d been in together had given Ian a poor grade on an assignment. Ian had lost it…big time. Someone had even called campus security to get him out of the lecture hall. He’d turned into something that terrified her and probably every other student there. She shuddered at the memory.

Karina turned around and glanced the other way, deliberately putting her back to Ian.

And there he was. Brian.

Her heart sighed even as it started to pound. She should go over to him. He looked sad, like he’d lost his best friend. Which, after the end of a two-year relationship, she guessed he had. But Karina told herself she was still a friend, right? Albeit a casual one, but still… They’d had classes together, the odd beer-and-pizza night as part of a group. That kind of thing. He had no idea that she’d been in love with him for a long time. She’d been careful to keep her feelings hidden. He hadn’t been free and she wasn’t the type to break up relationships.

She checked out the other half of the bar before her gaze zinged back to Brian. He lifted his beer bottle and poured the remaining golden liquid down his throat. Slamming the empty down, he reached for the spare, waiting. Damn, she hated to see him like this.

All right. She was going to go over there. Just a sip of beer for courage, first. She raised her glass to her lips.

“Karina. I’m glad you’re here. I was hoping to see you before you left. May I sit?”

Ian. Shit. He’d somehow evaded her awareness and seated himself on the barstool next to her without her knowing. This was what she got for being nice and polite to a guy who mistook it for encouragement and, frankly, gave her the willies.

She attempted a smile behind her glass as she drowned a big gulp. She had to get away. Now.

“Sorry, I came here to meet someone.” She said it lightly, dismissively. She’d planned to wait another minute or two before approaching Brian, but Ian’s crowding was forcing her hand. “Oh, there he is. Brian.”

She got up and waved in Brian’s direction, tossing a good-bye smile at Ian.

His brows came together in a dark vee and his lips thinned, the expression causing her smile to falter and her stomach to heave. His thick nose and heavy brows might indicate a Mediterranean ancestry, but the darkness in his eyes gave her the spooks.

“I hadn’t realized.”

Keeping her face averted she took another big step and cast a glance back, relief washing over her when he didn’t follow, but instead walked back to his seat.

Well, she’d started down this road, so…

“Hey.” She slapped a bright, friendly smile on her face and sat down across from Brian. Now that she was safely seated her unease over Ian abated, even while her heart lurched at the deep unhappiness on Brian’s face.

He looked up at her, a lopsided attempt at a smile peeking out. “Hi, Karina. I’m not good company right now.”

“Oh.” She didn’t know what to say. His pain was a palpable thing. Impulsively, she reached across the table and laid her hand on his. “I heard and I’m sorry.”

Surprise lit the dark depths of his chocolate eyes.

When he didn’t say anything, she stood. She’d intruded on his private pain, and that wasn’t right. She turned to leave.

“Wait.” His husky voice reached out to her. “Please, don’t go.”

She smiled warmly at him and sat back down.

She stayed there for several more rounds as they talked deep into the night. Once or twice she glanced over at Ian. Every time she looked he appeared to be seething with anger as he stared toward her and Brian. She shuddered.

“This place is closing soon.” She tugged Brian to his feet. “Come on, you look ready to drop.”

“I’m not that bad,” he protested, but allowed himself to be shuffled out the door. The cool night air hit them and snapped some of the buzz away. Karina looked at the stars, her heart full and happy. Not exactly a dream date, but it was Brian…and her…alone.

“Let’s go to my place. I think I have a bottle of wine,” he suggested.

“You’re going to fall asleep before you ever get it open,” she scoffed as she fell into step beside him.

He looked at her, his little-boy expression pleading that it couldn’t possibly be bedtime already. “I don’t want to be alone tonight,” he admitted softly. “Please come share a bottle of wine with me.” There was only a slight slur to his voice and she’d had just enough to drink to feel the same.

Besides, she didn’t want the night to end either. It might not be the wisest move but she couldn’t come up with any convincing reasons why she shouldn’t spend the last few hours with him.

She gave in.

He grinned at her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “How come we didn’t do this before?” His sloppy grin made her heart laugh. “We should have. I’ve always liked you.”

Magical words.

They walked toward his room, arms around each other, talking, murmuring in low voices. The heat of his voice, the tenor of his words, the glow of moonlight, Brian’s touch – it was magic. And she wanted more. She wanted it all. Tonight.

*

The couple walked down the path, sliding in and out of view. He’d hidden in the trees thinking to see where Brian was taking Karina. And hoping his instinctive guess was wrong.

But no; there she was. Ian thought he’d missed her leaving. But no, she’d left with Brian. Why? Why Brian? Brian was nothing. And he had a girlfriend. Or he’d had a girlfriend. According to the gossip, he’d just been dumped.

How could Karina do such a thing? It’s not like Brian was in any shape to enter another relationship right now. Had she no respect. For him? Or for herself?

He stood in the shadows of the trees that darkened the path and watched them make their way to Brian’s dorm. Anger simmered inside.

Brian had many girls fawning all over him. He didn’t need Karina. He’d only cast her off later.

Karina deserved better. If she weren’t so blinded by Brian’s flashy looks, she’d realize it. She’d be sorry later.

Damn Brian to hell.

*

Satisfaction thrummed through Karina’s body as she collapsed beside Brian in the wee hours of the morning. Her skin was damp and her body buzzed from their heated lovemaking. “Who’d have thought?” she whispered into the darkness.

A deep rumble rolled out from his chest as he attempted to speak but couldn’t. She grinned. She’d brought him to this. She’d been the one he’d turned to tonight. Not Wendy, but her – Karina. Maybe she shouldn’t have jumped at the opportunity…but she’d needed the chance to show him how good they could be together. How perfect.

And given that exams were over and all students going their separate ways, it had been now or never.

It seemed she’d loved him for so long. Always an acquaintance, never quite a friend and always superficial, kept on the outside…the last place she wanted to be.

She could no more stop blurting the words than she could stop the tidal wave of love that swept through her, giving the words their freedom.

“I love you,” she whispered and dropped a kiss on his bare chest, before nestling her head on his shoulder and falling asleep.

*

Morning dawned bright and clear. Karina woke slowly, her body still warm and achy from the night’s activities. She bolted upright as memories flooded back. Brian. She’d had the most wonderful night of her life. She grinned and bounded out of bed.

Wrapping herself in the sheet, she walked out to the communal room, grateful that Brian’s roomies had already left. Empty. She stood in the middle of the room, dread forming a sinking ball of steel in her stomach. An engine started outside.

She raced over to the glass doors, stepping out onto the small verandah in time to see Brian’s car disappearing down the drive at a good clip. He was coming back, wasn’t he? She stood there, waiting, for a long time after his car disappeared from view. As her heart broke into a dozen tiny pieces, hope faded away. The small sedan was gone.

And he hadn’t once looked back.

Chapter 2

10 years later

Ian Blackburn glared down at his cell phone sitting in its dock on the car dash. “No, no and no! For the last time. I won’t go out for dinner. There’s no reason you can’t cook a meal at home. Like you’ve done every night since we’ve been married.”

Hot sun beat down on traffic. Ian transferred his glare to the cars moving at a snail’s pace around him. Rush hour in Victoria, BC. What a joke. There was nothing rush about it. He hated all the traffic. It was so much worse these days. What happened to the good old days when the trip home was less than fifteen minutes? And when his wife listened to him. Understood that he knew best. And never friggin argued.

He pounded the steering wheel and yelled at Mary. “What’s wrong with you? Ever since you went to that stupid seminar you’ve been whining to go out all the time, wasting money on stupid things like getting your hair dyed at the salon. What’s wrong with doing it a home like you always did?” he snapped, his voice reaching through the open window. He heard someone snicker and realized a passenger in a convertible beside him must have heard.

Ian flipped him the bird and drove forward finally reaching the corner where he turned left onto his street. “You look like a boy with your new haircut. You’ve wasted money on new clothes and now you’re talking about changing jobs. Just stop it, all right? That’s enough already.” Another corner and Ian pulled into the driveway. And parked the car.

He almost didn’t hear what she said to him on the phone because he was pulling the phone out of the holder.

“No it’s not enough. It’s never going to be enough again.” Her voice, sad but defiant, put his back up and made his stomach knot. “I wanted to go out for a meal somewhere quiet where we could talk. A neutral meeting ground.”

He slammed the car door shut behind him and stared at the front door of his house, an ominous foreboding filling his gut. “Neutral ground?” he said his voice flat and cold. “What does that mean?” He strode forward. Damn woman. “What have you done now?”

She gasped.

His heart stalled, then hardened as his feet picked up the pace and he raced to open his front door. “Mary?” He called into the phone. “Are you still at work?”

“No,” she said in a barest whisper. “I’m not.” She took a raspy breath, then with that same new defiance she declared, “I quit.”

“What?” Ian jammed his house key into the lock.

“I’ve moved out. At least for a while…”

And Ian heard a sharp click on his phone and she was gone. The key stuck in the damn door lock but he shook it loose and kicked the door open. He raced inside. Where he stopped, relief sending shivers down his back.

It looked the same.

Then maybe not. Pictures were gone from the mantle. He raced into the bedroom. “Mary?

Ian stared at the empty closet in shock. She’d done it. Mary had actually left him. How? When? There was no way she’d have picked up and left him on her own. She wouldn’t dare.

He rushed to her dressers, ripping the drawers off their runners in his panic. Empty. They were all empty. He walked around the small home like a zombie. Inside, he was empty. Cold. Icy cold. Angry.

She was gone. For good? No. She’d said for a while. This came back to something else she’d said last week. A separation she’d said. A trial separation. What the hell did that mean? He’d blasted her good at the time, thinking she was just playing him.

But she’d left. As far as he was concerned that made this as real as it could get – and it looked like there was nothing temporary about it.

He shuddered. He didn’t dare go down that road. This had to be temporary. Anything else wasn’t doable. Or acceptable. And damn her.

Damn it. She belonged at his side.

Anger and pain warred deep in his gut.

Sure, Mary hadn’t seemed all that happy…at least lately. After that last tune up he’d given her, she’d settled down some. But then she’d attended that damn motivational workshop by that asshole Brian Saunders. Take Charge of Your Life, it was called. Become authentic to the real you or some other idiotic garbage.

If he’d known beforehand that the speaker was the same bastard he’d hated at university, well, he’d have put his foot down and made sure Mary hadn’t gone.

Instead he’d laughed at her for wanting to go. He’d bugged her about the money she’d thrown away. And he’d had fun dissing the drivel she’d spouted on her return.

Well, what the fuck? He sure wasn’t laughing now.

No. Now he was pissed. The hurt he crushed deeper down, cauterizing the open wound with the fire of the wrongfully treated, letting it rise and fuel his anger. There was no goddamned way he was going to let Mary just walk out of here and leave him and everything they had together.

But he had to find her first. He had her cell number but that was it.

What happened to his sensible Mary? She’d gone from being a good wife to a defiant woman talking about changing her life. After one goddamned weekend.

Mumbo-jumbo bullshit.

And he knew who he had to thank for that.

Brian Saunders.

*

Three weeks later

Karina sat quietly in the nearly empty seminar room. Her nerves had taken such abuse getting here, they’d finally gone numb. Thank God. Now if only the endless rollercoaster of doubts would stop as well. They clogged her throat and fed the butterflies in her stomach.

She needed answers. Her workplace had taken her eight years of loyalty and flushed them down the toilet when they laid her off several weeks ago from her bookkeeping job. After the anger had come the fear, and then the sense of bewilderment. What did she do now?

Maybe this weekend’s self-help seminar would help. With some much-needed urging from her two best friends, Cat and Serena, Karina had signed up to attend the weekend self-help sessions.

Run by one Brian Saunders. Her one-night-stand Brian Saunders.

“It’s like killing two birds with one stone, right?” she murmured softly to herself. Her friends were right – she needed to do something to sort out her mundane life…and it was also an opportunity to clear things up with Brian.

This could be her way to move on, both in the professional and personal sense. To clean the slate so to speak. She hoped.

She’d chosen a seat dead in the middle of the huge conference room that had chairs laid out in all directions. The seminar had sold out, which she’d learned, was typical of Brian’s popularity. He’d really built a name for himself these last few years. For the zillionth time she questioned her sanity. She hadn’t seen or heard from Brian since that fateful night together so long ago. Afterwards, he hadn’t contacted her to go out, or to meet to talk… Of course, neither had she tried to contact him.

Over time she’d settled into her life. There was only so much rejection she could handle. But that hadn’t stopped her from starting to follow his career when he popped up on her radar several years ago.

And it hadn’t stopped her making her friends sick with comments about him. She was here alone, so what did that say?

There were just a few minutes left before the evening started. A quiver of excitement rippled through her. Would he remember her? Or had he been so drunk that night, so long ago, that he’d just forgotten?

She hadn’t been able to forget the joy of being with him, or the pain of loss when he drove away. She shook her head and shifted on the hard chair. There was one other issue.

Would he even recognize her? And if he did…then what?

The opening of the double doors caught her attention. The announcer’s voice echoed from the hallway, requesting that all guests take their seats in the seminar room. Her stomach did a somersault.

Excited voices blended into confused chaos as a crowd of people moved into the room, eagerly searching out the best seats. Groups of newly made friends formed and reformed, shifting and settling until finally the lighting lowered, and everyone’s attention was glued to the stage.

Brian stepped onto the platform, smiling broadly. The crowd cheered and applauded, the noise swelling until Brian Saunders laughed and held up his hands for silence.

Karina couldn’t help it; she grinned with the rest of the crowd. God, he looked better than ever. Her heart, traitor that it was, stuttered and stalled before picking up and taking off at a flat-out run. His confidence and dynamic presence instantly affected the crowd.

“Good evening, everyone. Welcome to the ‘First Day of the Rest of Your Lives,’ our seminar on creating the future you want for yourself.”

At the sound of his voice, Karina leaned forward. His voice had changed over the years. Deepened. Strengthened. She studied his features. His hair was shorter and a bit thinner than she remembered, even from his book jackets, maybe a little lighter. The suit changed him, too. God, it fit him like a second skin, shaping and defining the broad shoulders she remembered so well. A hair over six feet, he was a well-built animal. Not that her hormones cared about any of that; they were simply jumping up and down singing “Hallelujah.”

Lord, did she have it bad. After ten years… How sad was that? She’d hoped to see him, realize he was nothing to her now and move on. And she hoped to utilize what she’d learn through his seminar to do just that.

Not get stuck in another time warp of attraction.

By the time they’d reached the Q&A section of the evening, she’d finally focused on the material Brian had been handing out, but every time he moved across the stage, she became totally sidelined by his panther-like grace. Her nerves stretched taut as she bounced between succumbing to the pull of his sexuality and succumbing to the wisdom of his advice.

This was so not how she had envisioned her weekend.

“You should all have a copy of the schedule. If you don’t, my assistant, Mark, has spares,” Brian said, motioning toward a large bear of a man with a full beard standing off to one side. “Please look it over and if you have any questions, feel free to contact either one of us.” He walked to the small table on the side of the stage and took a sip of water. “Now, let’s move on to the questions.”

A beautiful blonde, dressed with corporate killer instincts, waved her dainty hand in the air. “Are you married?”

Oh, good question. The general laughter from the audience eased the intrusiveness of the question.

The blonde turned her attention to the audience. “What I really want to know is, if he is married, do his wife’s views match his? And, if they don’t, how do they work around it?”

“I was married, and I have a little girl, but am now divorced,” Brian answered seriously. “Does my ex-wife share my views? Yes, to a certain extent. My work was not the cause of our breakup. Does that answer your questions?”

Daughter? She couldn’t help wondering how old the girl was.

He directed his query back to the blonde with a warm smile. At her satisfied nod, he moved on, his gaze skimming over the crowd. Karina’s heart thumped as Brian’s attention whispered over her to the end of the row, stalled and zipped back to her. His gaze held her locked in place, and she forgot to breathe.

Heads turned as the audience tracked the reason for Brian’s stillness.

The intensity of the moment burned. Oh, God. Heat washed over her as if he physically touched her, raising her temperature.

Christ, it was as if he’d laid her soul bare, brought all of her inner thoughts and emotions up to the surface. Heat arced between them.

Then he released her, his gaze moving over the audience as if nothing had happened.

She shuddered and gasped for breath.

Well, that answered that question.

He remembered. And how.

*

Karina yawned widely over her steaming mug of rich Columbian coffee. She’d talked late into the night, first to Cat and then Serena, trying to convey both her excitement and her trepidation over her reaction to seeing Brian again and that silent exchange they’d shared. For all the soothing support of her friends, she’d barely slept. And when she had, she’d been tormented by erotic dreams of Brian. Before going to sleep and since waking, she’d thought about and analyzed that shockingly intimate glance many times over.

Damn. The feeling of being so exposed, so vulnerable, had made sleep impossible. She needed to deal with Brian and move on.

She wanted to be free. To find a partner, have a family, grow old with someone. Not be alone forever, yearning for something she couldn’t have and that wasn’t even real.

Taking a deep breath, she slugged back her coffee and refocused on her homework assignment in front of her. She’d been at it for almost an hour and the restaurant was starting to fill up.

This assignment required a list of the areas in her life that caused her unhappiness. On the opposite side of the page, she was to assess the whys. After this, she was supposed to list the changes she’d like to put into place. All of this constituted the basic groundwork for change. With partners, they would be sharing their lists and looking at what they could do to create change.

She wondered, wryly, if she could just put down one item on the unhappiness side – her life.

“Good morning. May I join you?” a deep, quiet voice asked.

Karina looked up, startled. John, a soft-spoken, middle-aged teacher she’d met at last night’s coffee meeting, stood uncertainly beside her. Flustered, she set about to organize her papers to create space for him.

“Sure,” she mumbled. “Sorry. What you see here is a last-minute attempt to complete our first assignment. Please, sit down.”

John settled his impressive bulk. “I know what you mean. I’ve done the assignment, but wanted a minute to reread it.” He placed his own notebook on the table.

He turned to the approaching waitress, and ordered coffee and the breakfast special.

“Have you eaten yet? Or are you going to live on coffee?”

She grinned at the mischievousness in his voice. “I was up early, unlike some other people, so I’ve already eaten,” she teased him. “I’m struggling with our homework now.” Gloomily, she propped her chin on her hands and stared out at the gray scene outside of the window. The sun might manage to shine today, but even if it did, she wouldn’t get a chance to enjoy it. The seminar schedule was intensive with workshops, lectures, luncheon and a social hour. By evening she’d be exhausted, with one lecture still to go.

“May I take a look?” John asked.

Karina nodded, then turned her attention to the world outside the window once again.

“You’ve taken a serious look at your life. Although you may not like the results, they do show thought and intention. I’m not sure he can expect more from us at this stage.” He tapped the paper in his hand. “Frankly, I don’t think I’ve done half as good a job as you have putting it on paper,” he admitted.

“But doesn’t all that really say I’m unhappy with everything in my life?”

“Isn’t that why we’re here?” he pointed out. “You’ll probably find that as you start to make changes your list will change, too. Maybe dissatisfaction with a couple of major areas is coloring the rest of your outlook.”

She pondered that bit of wisdom. “It’s possible, I suppose. I’ll think it over.” She stood up, tossing enough money to cover her bill onto the table as she collected her papers. “I’m going to head into the seminar room. See you later.”

In hindsight, she should have had more coffee. The morning damned near killed her. Her nerves were on extra-sensory alert and she was super aware of Brian’s very presence. With the attendees organized into groups, he’d moved freely throughout the room, checking in with each team.

Except for hers. Thankfully, she’d gotten caught up in the exercises they were doing. Brian might have been on her mind when she arrived but it was the valuable knowledge she was gaining that kept her focused.

At break, she found herself needing to be alone. She slipped out to the hallway and headed for a quiet, empty space.

She stopped by a long window and stared out. Bending her neck, she took several deep breaths and let some of the tension slip off her shoulders.

“Karina.”

Jesus. She closed her eyes briefly.

Slowly, she turned to face Brian. God, he looked good. She stared up into steady, curious eyes that were only slightly wary. Softly she answered, “Hello, Brian. It’s been a long time.”

He reached out to clasp her shoulders as if not sure whether to hug her or push her away. “I couldn’t believe it when I saw you here last night.” He grinned a huge smile, maybe tinged with relief. What had he expected? “Damn, you look good.”

She shrugged. What could she say? “Thank you.”

They stared at each other in silence. So much needed to be said, and everything was left unspoken.

After a long moment, he said, “It’s wonderful to see you.” At her questioning look, he smiled quietly. “Really.”

And she believed him. Warmth unfurled inside. Nerves bounced then calmed now that they’d finally made contact. “Good.” And she meant it. Her smile brightened. “I’m really enjoying your seminar. You’re very knowledgeable.”

He went as if to say something. She leaned in, hoping…

With a regretful smile, he straightened, reached out and put a friendly arm around her shoulders. She lowered her gaze, willing him to pull her in closer. Instead, he turned her toward the door to the seminar room. “Good. Then let’s get back. The next set is due to start.”

Karina walked back to the seminar room, her nerves feeling as though they were being tossed on the high seas. Relief warred with irritation and the first stirrings of old anger resurfaced. She had a right to be angry. Didn’t she? He’d left her. Only they weren’t in a relationship and they’d made no promises. It had been for the one night only. She’d known it then. So why was the sense of betrayal rearing its ugly head now?

Because she’d wanted that night to turn into so much more. She’d wanted to mean so much more to him.

And it turned out he hadn’t wanted her – or cared in any way.

It didn’t matter that she’d known that going in, or that it had been pisspoor timing for him back then. She’d known the risk and gambled and lost. And now…what?

Brian showed her to a seat up at the front. The weight of his hand seemed to linger on her shoulder. Or maybe that was just wishful thinking. She couldn’t be sure. But her heart was ready to believe he’d wanted to prolong the contact, as a sign, and that just confused her more. She smiled shakily as he walked away. He was, as always, the one who walked away. Damn him anyway.

The next part of the workshop required people to form groups. They were each instructed to explore one area of their lives that they wanted to change, and ask the rest of the group for suggestions on how to go about doing so. Mark, Brian’s assistant, supervised this session.

“Many people get bogged down with responsibilities and forget what makes our lives worthwhile. Find something you want to do. Set a goal to work toward. Remember to plan to insert some fun into your changes. Now choose a new partner and talk about what your goal might be, and how each of you might achieve that goal.”

“Karina, will you work with me?” the woman seated next to her asked.

“Yes. Please.” Karina jumped at the offer. Susan was facing the conflict of going back to work now that her children were all in school. Like Karina, her problem was that she had no idea what she wanted to do. On the plus side, however, Susan had a supportive husband with whom she was still madly in love.

Despite being physical opposites – blonde, elfin Karina versus statuesque, brunette Susan – and in different stages of their lives, the two women had connected instantly.

“All right, let me start. I adore my husband, but I want more for myself. I just don’t know what that more is.” Susan laughed self-consciously. “I’m not making any sense, am I?”

“Yes, you are. You aren’t happy with yourself and therefore aren’t happy with your half of the relationship. Getting your self-confidence back by finding a purpose or a job that you love will help you to learn to love yourself,” Karina offered.

Susan’s expression was incredulous. “If you can figure that out, why are you here?”

Karina laughed ruefully. “I need help, that’s why. With my career, for a start. I’m tired of believing employers really care about their employees. Some just don’t. I’d love to have my own business, but haven’t a clue in what area.” And that was only the beginning. There was so much more that she couldn’t even go into. And she was having trouble focusing. Part of her was tracking Brian’s movements throughout the room, anticipating when he might stop in at her group to check on their progress, her heart pounding whenever he seemed to be heading in her direction.

“This seminar has been difficult.” Grimacing, Karina added, “The more I see change required in one area, the more I find other areas that need change more. Are you noticing the same thing?”

“Yes, definitely. Seeing the well-dressed people here reminds me how I’ve let my personal appearance slip. Staying home with the children meant that I didn’t need good clothes. It’s been an eye-opener to come here.” She added a little glumly, “How can my husband stand to be around me?”

“He loves you and has gotten used to your changes the same as you have.” Karina changed the subject. “We’re supposed to break for lunch soon. Are you going in with the crowd?”

Karina wanted time alone but she knew the best thing would be if she stayed busy. If she were part of a group she wouldn’t have time to think. Or feel.

She was off-balance already from her confused emotions. It wouldn’t take much for her to fall even farther.