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- Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
- Kategorie: Ratgeber
- Sprache: Englisch
OVERCOME DOUBTS AND SETBACKS — AND SMASH YOUR PERSONAL BEST
What’s standing between you and greatness? It’s time to identify — and overcome — your own unique elephant in the room. See Your Elephant is your guide to uncovering and shattering your personal barriers so you can perform at your very best.
Dr Jo Brown, a world-renowned performance coach and physiotherapist, has spent decades championing champions, guiding elite athletes and Olympians like Noah Lyles and Yohan Blake to peak performance. In this book, she shares invaluable insights that reveal how profound self-awareness and unbounded personal growth can help you redefine what’s possible and achieve your biggest, brightest goals.
Discover how to:
- develop a growth mindset
- identify the limiting beliefs and habits holding you back
- apply proven techniques to overcome challenges
- build your self-awareness and find a way forward
- address the elephant in your room.
Greatness is a journey, not a destination. Whether you’re aiming for personal, career or even Olympic success, this book shares the life-changing strategies you need to break through your limits.
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Seitenzahl: 445
Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2025
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Table of Contents
Cover
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
INTRODUCTION: HOW DOES AN ELEPHANT RELATE TO YOUR TRUE POTENTIAL?
THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM
MY EXPERIENCE WITH THAT ELEPHANT
TO SEE YOUR ELEPHANT
SELF-AWARENESS
START LOOKING FOR YOUR ELEPHANT
HOW TO USE THIS BOOK
PART I: PREPARE FOR THE HUNT
Chapter 1: The tools of the hunt
CURIOSITY: THE ENGINE OF LEARNING
VULNERABILITY: THE BLANK CANVAS
AUTHENTICITY: THE ACCELERATOR OF CHARACTER
COURAGE: THE CATALYST FOR GROWTH
PREPARING FOR THE HUNT
Chapter 2: When will your elephant show up?
BLIND SPOTS: CAUSE AND EFFECT
MORE THAN A REFLECTION
SELF-CONSCIOUS EMOTIONS IMPEDE THIS PROCESS
UNRESOLVED EXPERIENCES AND EMOTIONS
FEEL THE FEELS
RECOGNISE THE RESPONSE: ACCEPT OR REJECT
WIN OR WITHDRAW
Chapter 3: What kind of elephant hunter are you?
THE THREE ESSENTIAL TYPES OF ELEPHANT HUNTER
SELF-AWARENESS AND THE ENVIRONMENT
GUESS OR GLIMPSE
THE SCIENCE OF HAPPY
YOUR ELEPHANT IS A REFLECTION
SELF-AWARENESS QUESTIONNAIRE
Chapter 4: The Seeker
THE SEEKER’S BELIEFS: NEVER GIVE UP
ARE YOU A SEEKER?
SEEKERS AND THEIR ELEPHANTS
OBSTACLES FOR THE SEEKER
MY WORK WITH SEEKERS
YOUR DAILY ROUTINE AS A SEEKER
Chapter 5: The Avoidant Hunter
THE AVOIDANT HUNTER’S BELIEFS: THRIVE ON A SURE THING
THE AVOIDANT HUNTER IS STRONG IN THE ZONE
ARE YOU AN AVOIDANT HUNTER?
AVOIDANT HUNTERS AND THEIR ELEPHANTS
OBSTACLES FOR THE AVOIDANT HUNTER
MY WORK WITH AVOIDANT HUNTERS
YOUR DAILY ROUTINE AS AN AVOIDANT HUNTER
Chapter 6: The Accidental Hunter
THE ACCIDENTAL HUNTER’S BELIEFS: FLUX OR FLOW
ARE YOU AN ACCIDENTAL HUNTER?
ACCIDENTAL HUNTERS AND THEIR ELEPHANTS
OBSTACLES FOR THE ACCIDENTAL HUNTER
STRENGTHS OF THE ACCIDENTAL HUNTER
MY WORK WITH ACCIDENTAL HUNTERS
YOUR DAILY ROUTINE AS AN ACCIDENTAL HUNTER
PART II: SEEING YOUR ELEPHANT
Chapter 7: Fear
HAS FEAR SHOWN UP?
UNDERSTANDING THE IMPACTS OF FEAR
THE FEAR SWEET SPOT: ALERT AND AGILE
WHAT IS FEAR INDICATING OR GUIDING YOU TO?
MANAGING AND ADDRESSING FEAR
Chapter 8: Ignorance
HAS IGNORANCE SHOWN UP?
WHAT IS IGNORANCE INDICATING OR GUIDING YOU TO?
THE IGNORANCE SWEET SPOT: AWARE AND OPEN
UNDERSTANDING THE IMPACT OF IGNORANCE
MANAGING AND ADDRESSING IGNORANCE
Chapter 9: Inauthenticity
HAS INAUTHENTICITY SHOWN UP?
WHAT IS INAUTHENTICITY INDICATING OR GUIDING YOU TO?
UNDERSTANDING THE IMPACT OF INAUTHENTICITY
THE INAUTHENTICITY SWEET SPOT: THE FIT FOR YOU
MANAGING AND ADDRESSING INAUTHENTICITY
Chapter 10: Belief
HAS BELIEF SHOWN UP?
THE BELIEF SWEET SPOT: POWER OF BELIEF
WHAT IS BELIEF INDICATING OR GUIDING YOU TO?
UNDERSTANDING THE IMPACT OF BELIEF
MANAGING AND ADDRESSING BELIEF
Chapter 11: Physical block
HAS PHYSICAL BLOCK SHOWN UP?
THE PHYSICAL BLOCK SWEET SPOT: RESOURCEFUL AND REALISTIC
WHAT IS PHYSICAL BLOCK INDICATING OR GUIDING YOU TO?
HAS PHYSICAL BLOCK SHOWN UP?
UNDERSTANDING THE IMPACT OF PHYSICAL BLOCK
MANAGING AND ADDRESSING PHYSICAL BLOCK
Chapter 12: Chaos
HAS CHAOS SHOWN UP?
WHAT IS CHAOS INDICATING OR GUIDING YOU TO?
UNDERSTANDING THE IMPACT OF CHAOS
THE CHAOS SWEET SPOT: GROUNDED
MANAGING AND ADDRESSING CHAOS
Chapter 13: Tunnel vision
HAS TUNNEL VISION SHOWN UP?
UNDERSTANDING THE IMPACT OF TUNNEL VISION
WHAT IS TUNNEL VISION INDICATING OR GUIDING YOU TO?
TUNNEL VISION SWEET SPOT: PERSPECTIVE
MANAGING AND ADDRESSING TUNNEL VISION
UNDERSTANDING TUNNEL VISION
Chapter 14: Burnout
HAS BURNOUT SHOWN UP?
UNDERSTANDING THE IMPACT OF BURNOUT
WHAT IS BURNOUT INDICATING OR GUIDING YOU TO?
THE BURNOUT SWEET SPOT: BALANCE
ADDRESSING AND MANAGING BURNOUT
Chapter 15: Disillusionment
HAS DISILLUSIONMENT (BLINDED BY THE LIGHT) SHOWN UP?
UNDERSTANDING THE IMPACT OF DISILLUSIONMENT (BLINDED BY THE LIGHT)
WHAT IS DISILLUSIONMENT (BLINDED BY THE LIGHT) INDICATING OR GUIDING YOU TO?
THE DISILLUSIONMENT (BLINDED BY THE LIGHT) SWEET SPOT: PRESENCE
ADDRESSING AND MANAGING DISILLUSIONMENT (BLINDED BY THE LIGHT)
HAS DISILLUSIONMENT (LOOKING BACKWARDS) SHOWN UP?
UNDERSTANDING THE IMPACT OF DISILLUSIONMENT (LOOKING BACKWARDS)
WHAT IS DISILLUSIONMENT (LOOKING BACKWARDS) INDICATING OR GUIDING YOU TO?
ADDRESSING AND MANAGING DISILLUSIONMENT (LOOKING BACKWARDS)
Chapter 16: Turmoil
HAS TURMOIL SHOWN UP?
UNDERSTANDING THE IMPACT OF TURMOIL
WHAT IS TURMOIL INDICATING OR GUIDING YOU TO?
THE TURMOIL SWEET SPOT (REGULATION OF STATE)
THE TURMOIL SWEET SPOT (REGULATION OF SELF)
ADDRESSING AND MANAGING TURMOIL
Chapter 17: Distraction
HAS DISTRACTION SHOWN UP?
UNDERSTANDING THE IMPACT OF DISTRACTION (JUGGLING TOO MANY BALLS)
WHAT IS DISTRACTION (JUGGLING TOO MANY BALLS) INDICATING OR GUIDING YOU TO?
HAS DISTRACTION (COMPARISON) SHOWN UP?
UNDERSTANDING THE IMPACT OF DISTRACTION (COMPARISON)
WHAT IS DISTRACTION (COMPARISON) INDICATING OR GUIDING YOU TO?
THE DISTRACTION SWEET SPOT: PURPOSEFUL FOCUS
ADDRESSING AND MANAGING DISTRACTION
Chapter 18: Coercion
HAS COERCION SHOWN UP?
UNDERSTANDING THE IMPACT OF COERCION
WHAT IS COERCION INDICATING OR GUIDING YOU TOWARDS?
THE COERCION SWEET SPOT: HEALTHY ATTACHMENT
ADDRESSING AND MANAGING COERCION
Chapter 19: Boredom
HAS BOREDOM SHOWN UP?
UNDERSTANDING THE IMPACT OF BOREDOM
WHAT IS BOREDOM INDICATING OR GUIDING YOU TOWARDS?
THE BOREDOM SWEET SPOT: CHOOSE AGAIN
ADDRESSING AND MANAGING BOREDOM
Chapter 20: Judgement
HAS JUDGEMENT SHOWN UP?
UNDERSTANDING THE IMPACT OF JUDGEMENT
WHAT IS JUDGEMENT INDICATING OR GUIDING YOU TO?
THE JUDGEMENT SWEET SPOT: BETWEEN RECOGNITION AND EMPATHY
ADDRESSING AND MANAGING JUDGEMENT
PART III: DISCOVER YOUR POTENTIAL
Chapter 21: Accept your elephant
ACCEPTANCE REQUIRES PAUSE FOR ASSESSMENT
Chapter 22: Slay your elephant
TRAIN THE BRAIN TO REWIRE ITSELF
THE POWER TO TRANSCEND TENDENCY
Chapter 23: Cage and feed your elephant
CHOOSING FEEDBACK
CHECK IN WITH YOURSELF
BE WARY OF SHORTCUTS
Chapter 24: Embrace and befriend your elephant
FOCUS ON SELF-CARE
FRIENDS FOR NOW
Chapter 25: Learning in pursuit of potential
THE WILLINGNESS TO LEARN
THE CHOICE TO LEARN
THE PRACTICE OF LEARNING
Chapter 26: The four pillars of performance
PILLAR 1: PURPOSE AND PERCEPTIONS
PILLAR 2: PLANNING AND PROCESSES
PILLAR 3: PATTERNS AND PRACTICE
PILLAR 4: PEOPLE AND POWER
CONCLUSION
REFERENCES
INTRODUCTION
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 8
CHAPTER 9
CHAPTER 10
CHAPTER 12
CHAPTER 13
CHAPTER 14
CHAPTER 15
CHAPTER 16
CHAPTER 17
CHAPTER 18
CHAPTER 19
CHAPTER 20
PART III
CHAPTER 22
CHAPTER 23
CHAPTER 24
CHAPTER 25
CHAPTER 26
INDEX
End User License Agreement
List of Tables
Chapter 3
Table 3.1: Self-awareness questionnaire
List of Illustrations
Chapter 3
Figure 3.1: Self-awareness scale
Chapter 8
Figure 8.1: The relationship between self-confidence and performance
Figure 8.2: The Dunning-Kruger effect
Chapter 13
Figure 13.1: The path from A to B is rarely (if ever) straightforward
Figure 13.2: The four keys to a good mood
Figure 13.3: Balance graph
Chapter 16
Figure 16.1: Self-regulation flowchart
Figure 16.2: Low and high arousal lead to poor performance
Chapter 17
Figure 17.1: The effect of comparison on performance
Chapter 25
Figure 25.1: The perfectionism spiral
Chapter 26
Figure 26.1: Working through the four pillars of performance
Figure 26.2: Elephants and the four pillars
Figure 26.3: There are many ways to climb the mountain of peak performance
Figure 26.4: Circles of support
Figure 26.5: The layers of influence
Guide
Cover
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
INTRODUCTION: HOW DOES AN ELEPHANT RELATE TO YOUR TRUE POTENTIAL?
Begin Reading
CONCLUSION
REFERENCES
INDEX
End User License Agreement
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First published 2025 by John Wiley & Sons Australia, Ltd
© John Wiley & Sons Australia, Ltd 2025
All rights reserved, including rights for text and data mining and training of artificial intelligence technologies or similar technologies. Except as permitted under the Australian Copyright Act 1968 (for example, a fair dealing for the purposes of study, research, criticism or review) no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise. Advice on how to obtain permission to reuse material from this title is available at http://www.wiley.com/go/permissions.
The right of Dr Jo Brown to be identified as the author of See Your Elephant has been asserted in accordance with law.
ISBN: 978-1-394-28610-2
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Cover design: WileyCover Images: © MariMuz/Shutterstock, © Olesia Bekh/Getty ImagesDrawer image (p216): © Bogdan Rosu Creative/Adobe Stock
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Dr Jo Brown is a world-renowned performance physiotherapist and coach with over two decades of experience in high-performance sport. Dr Jo has worked with more than 18 sports at an elite level for six different nations. She has worked with the fastest in the water (the Australian Dolphins swim team) and the fastest on land (the top Jamaican and American track stars). Other highlights include working with the Olympic Winter Institute of Australia, Australian Paralympic Committee, New Zealand Rugby League, Swimming Australia, Athletics Australia, Volleyball Australia, Tennis Australia and Tongan Sevens. She has worked with athletes at the Olympics, Commonwealth Games, multiple world championships and grand slams.
Dr Jo has always been driven by being the best, and that means constantly questioning what it takes to be the best as an athlete and as a practitioner. She prides herself on going where she can make the biggest difference. She worked with the Jamaican team at the 2018 Gold Coast Commonwealth Games and as the head physiotherapist for the Jamaican track-and-field team at 2019 World Athletics Championships, the most successful Jamaican team ever. She then went on to become an integral part of the Jamaican bobsleigh team, Cool Runnings 2, qualifying for the 2022 Beijing Winter Olympics.
Since graduating as a physiotherapist in 2000, Dr Jo has continued to advance her skills and knowledge. With an extraordinary list of credentials including studies in strength and conditioning, a postgraduate diploma in Chinese medicine and acupuncture, a masters in sports physiotherapy, and a PhD, Dr Jo is comfortable in any sporting environment.
Her hunger to be the best version of herself for athletes grew even stronger during the COVID pandemic. Separated from the athletes she so keenly wanted to help, she questioned what skills she could develop to do more for them. This led Dr Jo to studying sports psychology and coaching courses, as well as starting the Purpose2Perform podcast. Guests on the podcast have included Nelson Christian Stokes, The Real Cool Runnings story; Paralympic swimming legend and thought leader in Women in Sport Ellie Cole; and the first Black woman to break a swimming world record, Alia Atkinson.
The concept explored in this book was born from Dr Jo Brown’s own lived experience and her expertise as a physiotherapist and performance coach. Dr Jo will encourage you to go on your own journey to see your elephant, find your performance gap, and learn from the insights she shares about her work with sport champions so you can evolve into the best version of yourself. She will guide you towards achieving the clear focus and determination you need to go ever higher and better in your sport, work and life.
This is not a book where you get swept up in someone else’s story. It’s all about you. As you’ll read in each chapter, you will have to make choices and commit to achieving your best performance every day.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
I would like to acknowledge Noah Lyles for first pushing me to write a book, as well as all the athletes I have meet on the high-performance highway who have allowed me to be part of their journeys.
To Sam and Bernadette for their early belief in my vision.
To my family for their support, and especially my husband Dale for allowing me to be me and share my vision with the world.
INTRODUCTIONHOW DOES AN ELEPHANT RELATE TO YOUR TRUE POTENTIAL?
Have you ever felt that you are destined to achieve greatness, but your best performance keeps evading you? What if something stands between you and your greatness? Do you even know what your greatness looks like? If you don’t care, that is fine. Greatness is a series of choices, but if you are curious, buckle in.
Pursuing greatness lights a fire within us that fuels our passion and drives us to achieve extraordinary things. It transforms our dreams into reality, pushes us to break barriers, and helps us realise our fullest potential. By aiming high, we not only uplift ourselves but also inspire those around us, creating a ripple effect of positivity and growth. The choice to embrace the journey toward greatness is a path filled with purpose, innovation and endless opportunities. But it comes with its costs. Greatness — whether it is being the best 5th grade teacher you can be or a world champion athlete — will always take everything you’ve got plus change. And you will have to keep choosing it. Greatness is showing up every day as the best version of yourself and striving to be better. Greatness is a journey, not a destination.
You have the power to shape your destiny, leave a lasting legacy and change the world. Dare to be great every day, and see what happens. To be clear, greatness and success are not the same. Success is commonly measured by achieving certain milestones and is externally recognised. Greatness transcends mere achievements. It involves making a significant, lasting impact on others and the world around you that is recognised both internally and externally.
The fact that you are reading this book tells me you are curious as to what greatness really is for you. It tells me you want to find out what it will take to close your performance gap and go to the next level. But are you ready and willing to do the work? And, just a heads up, the work isn’t for a day or a week — it’s for life. Are you still ready?
I have championed champions on the world’s biggest sporting stages for the past two decades, and I consider myself a world authority on what it takes to be great. I have also seen many people not reach their potential and that breaks my heart every time. In this book, I explore some of the reasons why some people don’t reach their potential, and what you can do to make it to the top.
THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM
If you are from an English-speaking country, it’s likely you have heard the saying ‘the elephant in the room’. It is an idiom used to describe a large, important topic, question or issue that no one dares to mention. Everyone chooses to ignore it because it is uncomfortable, too personal, socially or politically embarrassing, controversial, inflammatory or dangerous. The fact is, we can probably all see ‘the elephant in the room’ — whatever it might be — but it’s too difficult to deal with it, so we turn away from it or repress it in our minds.
What if we all have ‘elephants’ and your elephant is that thing that comes between you and your greatness?
Imagine you are standing behind the blocks in one of the biggest performance moments of your life. You can feel your heart pounding, you hear the buzz of the crowd, your legs are trembling and you can see your best performance out in front of you. As you look at the track, there is no more time for work. It’s done. Now it is time to execute.
But, if I were to ask you, ‘Have you done everything in your power to deliver your best performance right now, in this moment, today?’ what feeling comes up for you? Self-assurance or self-doubt? Excitement or trepidation? If you really played full out with that visualisation, it is likely you just got a glimpse of your elephant. Your elephant is the doubt, it is the fear, it is the comparison to someone else or another performance, it is being driven by others, it is exhaustion, it is thinking you need to show up as someone else.
That’s right. Your elephant can and will show up in those moments when you need to ‘lift’ under pressure and bring the best version of you. These are the moments that define your story.
In the past, you may have had glimpses of obstacles standing in your way — your ‘elephant in the room’ — but you haven’t truly seen them because you didn’t choose to acknowledge them. It was easier and less confronting to ignore them. To acknowledge your elephant is to admit it exists, to recognise that there is an issue that needs to be rectified.
MY EXPERIENCE WITH THAT ELEPHANT
You might be wondering what drives me to write about elephants and greatness. It’s partly because, for the past 24 years, I have dedicated my life to helping athletes achieve high performance. I have worked in 19 different sports in six different countries as a performance physiotherapist and coach. I have devoted my life to being the person you want around when you’re under pressure, about to tackle the biggest challenge or the biggest performance of your life. I am the person who ‘holds space for your best performance’; I am the person who works to make the impossible, possible. I see you, I hear you and I believe in your best performance. With the hands of a physio, the eyes of a coach and the mind of a trainer-therapist, I am a performance change-maker. I live every day to help people achieve their best performance, whatever that is for them.
I am a performance coach and performance physiotherapist, but most importantly, I am an elephant hunter. I work with athletes (and other professionals and entrepreneurs) to close their performance gap and uncover their potential. It involves looking into all aspects of their performance to see what’s working and what’s not. But I also look for what’s missing, for where the performance gap is. This may involve physical strength, activation, mental skills, attitude, values or other resources. It may involve being straight about the people in an athlete’s life — the people who influence them and the people they choose to influence.
In my mind, achieving high performance is a little like making a pie, a performance pie. Everyone has their own unique recipe with different ingredients and amounts, different sequences of mixing, and their own techniques to get the flavour they want. And how long you cook it may depend on the individual or even the season. I help athletes bake their best performance pie. But we can’t do that unless we can see all the aspects of a performance and the gaps in between. I look for what an athlete may be pushing away, ignoring or not letting go of. I take athletes on a journey to find their full potential. I ‘hunt’ elephants for some of the greatest athletes on this planet, and I am on a mission to enable as many people as possible to see their elephant and discover what is holding them back from their true potential.
I make it my mission to connect the dots of your performance, identifying every element to reveal the full picture or discover what’s missing. I’ve helped the world’s best athletes this way, and now, through this book, I’ll help you too. By finding those missing elements, including areas that might be less visible or refined, we can close the performance gap and discover your true potential.
TO SEE YOUR ELEPHANT
Recently, I realised I have had many glimpses of my elephant, but rather than looking it in the eye and seeing it for what it is, I have chosen to turn my head. ‘Out of sight, out of mind’ has been my preferred option, pushing the image away as quickly as possible. Is this based on the idea that ignorance is bliss? Maybe, but I don’t think so. Instead, I believe it is our human instinct to remove ourselves from threat above all else. But how can we analyse whether something is a threat (a potential source of harm or danger) or merely a challenge (a chance for growth or testing one’s abilities or skills) unless we take a closer look?
Many of us think we go through life facing things head on. The fact is, though, that most of us pick and choose what to face head on and what to consciously or unconsciously ignore. We decide what issues to bury and which to face, and then we implement a strategy to fight them.
When your elephant is hanging around, if you have summoned a level of self-awareness, you will sense it even if you can’t identify it. For me, it’s a feeling that starts in the pit of my stomach, a kind of deep pulling or pounding. It’s a heaviness as if I am being dragged backwards from my chest. It is an overwhelming urge to give in and succumb to all the signs that tell me it’s too hard to deal with it, to play safe, play small, believe others when they tell you that you don’t belong or that you will fail. In that moment, I can manifest the extreme pain of all my losses and failures as proof that I can’t succeed.
Not long ago, I really saw my elephant for the first time. I was in Melbourne, Australia, on a three-day course with the Speakers Institute. I had decided to do the course because I was in a state of flux in my career. I had been working closely with Noah Lyles (Olympic and world champion track star) and have featured in many of his YouTube videos. I was starting to think that setting up a YouTube channel myself would be a great way to get my message out and to have a greater impact and influence on this world. One of my mantras is to always ‘go where you can make the biggest difference’, and I knew that I needed to find a way to influence and help more than one person at a time. Gaining skills as a speaker was part of my plan to make the best go of a YouTube channel.
I rocked up to the course in Melbourne with a feeling in my gut that this weekend was going to change the direction of my life. It was a sense of excitement, not trepidation.
On day two, I followed the coaches’ advice to bring real emotion to the stage. The problem with emotion is that it can be a hard tap to turn off once it’s in full flow. In front of the group on day two, I told a deeply personal story that I had never shared in public before.
As I left the stage, I felt absolutely overcome. I felt deep pain, fear and regret about the events in the story I had told. It felt as if I was suffocating. It felt as if an elephant was sitting on me.
In that moment, I knew it was time to acknowledge the pain I still carried from my past. I had to stare this elephant in the eye. I had to truly see it. There was no more taking a glimpse and carrying on with my life. This was what was holding me back. This was what was standing between me and my greatness, my true potential.
I had to stare at it. I had to acknowledge it. I had to choose to describe it. It was dark grey and huge — I feel like it has been feeding on all my actions and emotions since I was 12 years old. It had become bigger than me, and it was stopping me from playing big. I then had to accept it for what it was and thank it for showing up. In that moment of acceptance, it was all over. I regained control of my breathing and felt as if a weight had been lifted from my chest. Now I could choose what to do with my elephant.
I set out on day three with a spring in my step and a different energy. I walked up onto the stage and shared ‘see your elephant, find your performance gap’ with conviction, knowing my elephant had showed up the night before. I knew I was at a tipping point. This was my change in direction, my way to make a difference and change the world.
SELF-AWARENESS
Research suggests that only 10 to 15 per cent of the global population is self-aware,1 that is, truly aware of their strengths, weaknesses and motivators. Interestingly, research also suggests 95 per cent of the population think they are self-aware. This reminds us that self-awareness is a skill. Many of the world’s top performers in sport and in business are self-aware or, like some of the world’s best athletes, they pay people like me to find and close their performance gap. One of the top traits of being a high performer is having problem-solving skills.2–4 The problem with that is that you need to be able to see the problem to solve it.
I don’t know about you, but I have always wondered what separates not only the good from great, but the great from the unstoppable. I have always wondered what makes the difference between someone being mediocre and extraordinary — one-time champions compared with legends of sport. When I say legends of a sport, I mean guys like Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal. I have worked a lot around tennis, and I remember sitting in the men’s room at the Australian Open and seeing both Federer and Nadal. I was curious: what made them so special compared with everyone else? After that, I spent a few days subtly observing the way they showed up and interacted in the world. It was evident that being a legend was not just about physicality or even mindset. It’s a difference in how they show up, in how they do life.
Legends in their sport, such as Federer and Nadal, show up with the utmost clarity of self and intent in every moment. Every interaction within themselves and in the world is executed with intent, and they are masters of controlling and managing their environment.
Could achieving the highest of high performance really be as simple as continuously seeking clarity and awareness of mind, body and environment? What if to go from good to great is as easy as consciously checking in with yourself and acknowledging what you really see?
START LOOKING FOR YOUR ELEPHANT
If you’re confused right now, that’s okay, but I hope I have sparked your curiosity. Your elephant is like your blind spot: it’s the thing you cannot or will not immediately see. This blind spot stands between you and your true potential. Your elephant will distort your perceptions, beliefs, thoughts and even the actions you take towards your best performance.
Your elephant is most likely to show up in and around high-pressure performance moments, but there are plenty of other times you see it from the corner of your eye. But you will never truly see your elephant until you make a choice to find it, and then stop and look at it.
If we never shine a light on our elephant, it remains invisible, but it can still have an impact. Ignoring any problem does not make it go away. It is still there and, somewhere in our subconscious, we know we can’t bring our best performance because we are still injured or worried about being judged, scared of failure or comparing ourselves to someone else. We never want to have a ‘should have’ moment just before a high-performance moment.
We don’t know what we don’t know. When you shine a light on it, you might find your elephant is your darkness or it may be your light, but your elephant is yours. It is individual to you and that moment in your life. Your elephant may change over time, it may take on a different shape, colour and size. As you grow more self-aware, you might realise that your elephant needs you to see something, to hear something or take a certain action. It is not your enemy; it is part of you.
Your elephant is ultimately a reflection of your own self-awareness. Your awareness of self, environment and interaction in this world. In the following chapters we will look your elephant in the eye, work out what impact it’s having on your performance, and use strategies to remove it, capture or befriend it and reach your best self.
HOW TO USE THIS BOOK
This book is a journey that is directed by you and the choices you make. In Part I you will prepare for the hunt. You will learn about your self-awareness and gain insights into what type of ‘elephant hunter’ you are.
In Part II you begin the metaphorical hunt to see your elephant. You will be introduced to 14 of the elephants I have met through my life and career, and decide which elephant resonates with you. There are opportunities to increase your self-awareness and evolve towards your true potential in each chapter, but the key is in identifying your elephant in the now. Evolution starts with seeing and acknowledgement, closely followed by acceptance. You will need to be ready to see both the ‘droppings’ (things you need to clean up) and ‘footprints’ (opportunities) in order to move forward. At this point, you are likely closer to your true potential, but to live it requires establishing what ongoing relationship you need to have with your elephant and the actions you are going to take.
In Part III of this book, it will become clear that your elephant is a guide, guiding you to the learning required to close your performance gap. Each one of the elephants sit under one of the four pillars of performance (purpose and perceptions; planning and processes; patterns and practice; people and power).
This book is my legacy and my difference, my impact on the world. Noah Lyles once asked me if I had thought about writing a book and my answer was ‘yes’. His reply was: ‘Well, have you started?’ Right here, right now. This is the starting line. Our journey starts here.
PART IPREPARE FOR THE HUNT
In Part I, you are going to prepare for your hunt so that you are fully ready to look your own elephant square in the eye, whatever that means for you. It can be scary and overwhelming to see your own blind spot for the first time. But with the tools in this section, you’ll be better prepared to look at your elephant and take practical steps to move past what’s holding you back.
Pause and reflect
Do you have any suspicions of what your elephant could be? What could you be ignoring or escaping?
Before you can go hunting your elephant, you need to be willing to play full out and you need to know your:
Tools:
What do you need for a successful hunt?
Triggers and timing:
When is your elephant likely to show up and why?
Type:
What type of hunter are you and what is your hunter skill set?
These chapters will help you gain clarity about who you need to be and how you should show up for a successful hunt (tools). It will help you investigate likely triggers and situations where your elephant will show up and guide you in determining your hunter type, your likely traits and obstacles.
Chapter 1The tools of the hunt
The choice to become an elephant hunter comes with the need for a few basic human tools. This chapter will outline the tools you need to go on this journey. These are non-specific ways of being or traits that will allow you to see your elephant.
There are essentially four key tools every one of us needs for the hunt: curiosity, vulnerability, authenticity and courage.
EXERCISE
Do you have your elephant hunting tools?
Take a moment to consider your openness to the following traits.
Curiosity
Vulnerability
Authenticity
Courage
If you want to amplify and accelerate your peak performance, essentially you need a growth mindset and a BS (bullsh*t) filter. To see your elephant is a learning and growing experience, and without a growth mindset, the hunt becomes a whole lot more difficult. A growth mindset is like a 4WD, taking you further and faster than a traditional hunt on foot. For me, in this context, a growth mindset is about embracing challenges and whatever feedback they supply. For most people (with or without a growth mindset), seeing their elephant begins with curiosity.
CURIOSITY: THE ENGINE OF LEARNING
Curiosity drives individuals to investigate new concepts, viewpoints and experiences, thereby enhancing their comprehension of both the world and themselves. This investigative spirit broadens perspectives and promotes personal development.1 It challenges established norms, fuelling our quest for knowledge and deeper understanding.2 Through the pursuit of answers and insights, we can better grasp our potential and identity.3 Moreover, curiosity drives innovation and creativity by transcending traditional thinking boundaries.4 This intrinsic motivation is critical for you to discover the specifics about your elephant. However, curiosity alone is insufficient.5
VULNERABILITY: THE BLANK CANVAS
The elephant hunter must also be willing to be vulnerable and embrace susceptibility to emotional attack or harm. For many, this is the hardest part, particularly if you consider yourself a high performer, because you like to be in control. But it is this vulnerability that creates a space where you can see the elephant.
AUTHENTICITY: THE ACCELERATOR OF CHARACTER
You will never see your elephant unless you can be honest and authentic with yourself. After all, your elephant is a reflection of your self-awareness. If you cannot be authentic, you cannot be self-aware. Elephants can be good at camouflaging, so we need to play full out.
COURAGE: THE CATALYST FOR GROWTH
Courage empowers us to confront fears, uncertainties and challenges head on. This confrontation is essential for personal development and self-awareness, as facing what terrifies us reveals our strengths, vulnerabilities and resilience. When we stand in courage, we stand up for our beliefs and values in the face of opposition or societal pressures. This commitment to integrity strengthens our self-awareness by aligning our actions with our personal principles, thereby enabling us to understand ourselves deeply.
PREPARING FOR THE HUNT
These tools form the survival kit of your hunt and are necessary for self-awareness and the continual pursuit of excellence. By embracing these qualities, you unlock a powerful catalyst for not only understanding your true self but for contributing meaningfully to the world around you.
Before you look for your elephant, you need to get bluntly honest and be authentic and curious, which is going to require both emotional time and space. If this is not available to you right now, this might not be the time for you and this book. To get the most out of this book, I want you to be willing to play full out.
If your elephant has been present for a while, it is likely well camouflaged, and you will have to be patient. Once you see your elephant, you cannot unsee your elephant. Once you have made the assessment, you need to be willing to acknowledge your elephant and to own it as part of you.
The further you go into this book, the more you will realise how deep your elephant goes and how it stands between you and your best performance. There is a reason it shows up. In most cases, there is a consistent pattern. Be curious: What is the cause, the reason for the elephant to exist? Why do you have this gap in your self-awareness? What is the motivation or creator of your elephant?
EXERCISE
Build your hunter’s toolkit
In your journal or on a piece of paper, write down the answers to these questions:
Curiosity: What could be my elephant be?
Vulnerability: What holds me back from being vulnerable?
Authenticity: Is there anything I am avoiding right now?
Courage: Why do I want to see my elephant?
Chapter 2When will your elephant show up?
The classic time for your elephant to show up is when you are under duress or feeling insecure or disconnected. This can show up as feelings of pressure, self-doubt, fatigue or loneliness.
Often, you can look back at high-pressure situations, the performance moments of your life, when things didn’t really go your way or you felt stressed or overwhelmed, and get a glimpse of your elephant. Sometimes these moments are those pressure points where what you do next will impact your performance outcome (your ‘performance opportunity’ outcome). An example of this is when you miss a free throw in basketball or double fault in tennis. What happens next? Do you react or do you respond? Does your performance continue to worsen or do you respond to the opportunity to be better?
Different elephant species are more likely to show up in response to certain circumstances or triggers. So, if you look into your past and think of a situation, a high-pressure moment that didn’t go your way, do you notice a trigger, feeling or pattern of thinking? The trigger might be losing three points in a row in tennis, being yelled at by your boss or a feeling of anger or overwhelm.
EXERCISE
Awareness as a catalyst for growth and recovery
Think back and reflect on a time where you experienced a high-pressure moment that didn’t get the outcome you wanted. Is there a consistent feeling around that event?
Trigger: _______________________________________
Feeling: _______________________________________
How I run from the feeling: ________________________
When you revisit that situation in your mind, you might notice some negative self-talk coming up for you. You might associate the event with a specific feeling, sound or smell. You may find your body shifting into fight, flight or freeze in response to the negative feelings. These are all feelings you should start to notice and be aware of — and your elephant may start to appear.
The ongoing impact of this elephant depends a lot on what you choose to do next. If there is a consistent way you get tripped up or experience ‘performance flop’, it’s not something to run from, but something to embrace.
Your elephant is the reason you cannot see your true performance gap, which is a physical, mental or emotional block or distortion of your vision and/or perception. In order to deal with your elephant (which will come in later chapters), we need to take a quick dive into the reasons why we get blind spots and, hence, why the elephant even exists.
In Part II, you will meet 14 elephants that I have met and experienced either personally or professionally over the last 24 years on the high-performance highway. Each type of elephant generally falls into one of six categories, which each form a blind spot. You may find that one elephant or one category is affecting your performance, or you may find that multiple elephants have an effect over time — everyone is different.
BLIND SPOTS: CAUSE AND EFFECT
There can be several causes of blind spots, both in our perception and in our thinking processes, but I have categorised these into six different reasons. Some common causes include:
1. PHYSIOLOGICAL REASONS
A true physical block could be caused by a physical injury, breakdown or lack of resources. It is something that physically or psychologically blocks you from delivering your best performance. You may see the appearance of the physical block elephant, or even fear or judgement. If you cannot walk unaided, you may avoid presenting where there are steps to get on stage. You may avoid racing in the heat because you don’t cope with heat well. These situations, however, can be prepared and trained for if acknowledged.
2. LACK OF ATTENTION
Blind spots can occur when we fail to pay attention to (or choose to ignore) certain details or aspects of a situation. We may focus on one specific point or perspective, overlooking other relevant information. Focus is an interesting part of performance. When you are a high performer, you can sometimes get caught trying to be the best at too many things at once, spreading both energy and focus too thin. There are a few elephants that fall under the category of lack of attention, such as distraction or living a life of chaos, in which you struggle to keep grounded and maintain a consistent vision and perspective.
3. COGNITIVE BIASES
Our minds are prone to cognitive biases, which are systematic errors in reasoning and judgement. These biases can cause us to overlook or misinterpret information, leading to blind spots or an elephant swooping in and standing between you and your true potential. Examples of cognitive biases include confirmation bias, favouring information that confirms our existing beliefs, and availability bias, placing more importance on readily available information (belief, disillusionment).
4. CULTURAL AND SOCIETAL INFLUENCES
Our cultural background, beliefs and societal norms can shape our perceptions and thinking patterns. These influences can create blind spots by limiting our ability to consider alternative viewpoints or challenge our existing beliefs. We are shaped by our thoughts, our environment and the people we surround ourselves with. It is human nature to want to belong, be loved and be enough. For many, these are the driving forces behind performance choices. Choices made from a place of ‘people-pleasing’, searching for acceptance, safety and even control. Examples of elephants related to cultural and societal influences include judgement, disillusionment and tunnel vision.
5. EMOTIONAL FACTORS
Our emotions can affect our perceptions and thinking processes. Strong emotions, such as fear, anger or attachment, can lead to blind spots by clouding our judgement or influencing what we choose to see or acknowledge. Fear is the biggest elephant and, in most cases, trumps all other elephants. But love is also blind, and toxic relationships and the need for acceptance will see other elephants hide or hinder your view of your true performance gap. Elephants that directly correlate to emotional factors include turmoil, fear and coercion.
6. LACK OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
Blind spots can arise from a lack of or a gap in your self-awareness armour. When we are unaware of our own biases, limitations or blind spots, we are more likely to overlook or discount information that conflicts with our existing beliefs or personal narratives. We will fail to see the impact of a toxic relationship, lack of stimulation (boredom), overwork (burnout), overconfidence (ignorance) or being inauthentic. It is not possible to be the greatest version of yourself when you are trying to be someone else. All the elephants fall into this category if none of the other situations exist.
In my experience, in order to experience greatness, it is imperative to actively work on recognising and addressing our blind spots, ‘hunting our elephants’ through critical thinking, self-reflection, seeking diverse perspectives and being open to feedback. By doing so, we have the opportunity to see our true performance gap or required learning, leading to improved performance decisions, improved understanding of our performance gaps and the tools required to go next level.
MORE THAN A REFLECTION
See your elephant not only as a reflection but as part of you. Some of us have exiled parts or elephants we have tried to squash or run from. It is my experience that our BS (elephants) often relates to unresolved or incomplete circumstances or feelings. Our elephants reflect unconscious or hidden aspects of our thoughts, behaviours or emotions that we are simply not aware of or fail to acknowledge. We have all done it — and we will deal with this as we move through Part II of this book. Just push that emotion down or away and it will be good, right? Well, until it’s not and that elephant shows up when you’re under pressure at the most inconvenient time. Our elephant can prevent us from accurately understanding our own emotions, motivations and reactions, as well as the emotions and motivations of others. This lack of awareness can hinder effective communication and relationships.
Our elephants will influence our perceptions of ourselves and others. In the exercise on page 8, I asked you to recall a high-performance moment, and I asked about your triggers and feelings. Did you come up with a consistent feeling or self-talk? In my case, there was a definitive emotional pattern, and there will be one for you too, you just need to look deeper. I discovered my pattern was to be sad and cry in the absence of the ability to feel anger.
To discover what’s holding you back will ultimately require establishing a relationship with your elephant and understanding when and why it shows up. My trigger for my elephant was the fear of not being enough, and the emotion that came up was sadness. Upon reflection, I was able to establish that the story I told at that speakers event evoked my fear elephant. I had learnt to avoid anger as it was not a safe emotion to express. I found safety in sadness, and this has been a pattern in my life since I was a child. Later in the book you will have opportunities to look into your patterns.
SELF-CONSCIOUS EMOTIONS IMPEDE THIS PROCESS
Shame, guilt, embarrassment and pride all belong to the family of self-conscious emotions. Each involves self-reflection and self-evaluation and can impact the relationship you have with yourself and others.1 Self-awareness necessitates a degree of vulnerability; however, shame often undermines this, leading us to avoid vulnerability and preventing us from confronting our elephants.2 In contrast, self-compassion can counteract the effects of shame, which is essential to understand and face one’s inner truths.3 You are going to need self-compassion on the hunt to see your elephant.
Shame is one of the reasons our elephants remain hidden, surfacing repeatedly and hindering our capacity to address them. It triggers avoidance behaviours due to an intrinsic fear of exposure.4 Shame blocks our capacity to hunt.
