Sleep Walking and Moon Walking E-Book

J. Sadger

• Herausgeber: Books on Demand
• Kategorie: Geisteswissenschaft
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 298

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2019

Beschreibung

Psychoanalysis holds a key to the problem of sleep walking, which alone has been able to unlock the mysteries of its causes and its significance. This key is the principle of wish fulfilment, an interpretative principle which explains the mechanisms of the psyche and illuminates the mental content which underlies these. Sleep walking as a method of wish fulfilment evidently lies close to the dream life, which has become known through psychoanalysis. Most of us when we dream, according to the words of Protagoras, "lie still, and do not stir." In some persons there is however a special tendency to motor activity, in itself a symptomatic manifestation, which necessitates the carrying out of the dream wish through walking in the sleep. The existence of this fact, together with the evidence of an influence of the shining of the moon upon this tendency to sleep walking, give rise to certain questions of importance to medical psychology. The author of this book has pursued these questions in relation to cases which have come to him for psychoanalysis, in the investigation of actual records of sleep walking given in literature and in the study of rare instances where it has been made the subject of a literary production or at least an episode in tale or drama. In each case the association with moonlight or some other light has been a distinct feature.

Leseprobe

Sleep Walking and Moon Walking

Sleep Walking and Moon WalkingTRANSLATOR'S PREFACEINTRODUCTION[1]PART I MedicalPART II Literary SectionCONCLUSION AND RÉSUMÉFootnotesCopyright

Sleep Walking and Moon Walking

J. Sadger

TRANSLATOR'S PREFACE

Psychoanalysis holds a key to the problem of sleep walking, which alone has been able to unlock the mysteries of its causes and its significance. This key is the principle of wish fulfilment, an interpretative principle which explains the mechanisms of the psyche and illuminates the mental content which underlies these. Sleep walking as a method of wish fulfilment evidently lies close to the dream life, which has become known through psychoanalysis. Most of us when we dream, according to the words of Protagoras, “lie still, and do not stir.” In some persons there is however a special tendency to motor activity, in itself a symptomatic manifestation, which necessitates the carrying out of the dream wish through walking in the sleep. The existence of this fact, together with the evidence of an influence of the shining of the moon upon this tendency to sleep walking, give rise to certain questions of importance to medical psychology. The author of this book has pursued these questions in relation to cases which have come to him for psychoanalysis, in the investigation of actual records of sleep walking given in literature and in the study of rare instances where it has been made the subject of a literary production or at least an episode in tale or drama. In each case the association with moonlight or some other light has been a distinct feature.The author's application of psychoanalysis to these problems has the directness and explicitness which we are accustomed to find in Freud's own writings. This is as true in the literary portion of the work as in the medical but it never intrudes to mar the intrinsic beauty of certain of the selections nor the force of the intuitive revelations which the writers of the preceding science have made in regard to sleep walking and walking in the moonlight. Sadger has skilfully utilized these revelations to convince us of the truth of the psychoanalytic discoveries and has used the latter only to make still more explicitly and scientifically clear the testimony of the poetic writers and to point out the applicability of their material to medical problems. The choice of this little understood and little studied subject and its skilful presentation on the part of the author, as well as the introduction to the reader of the literary productions of which use has been made, give the book a peculiar interest and value. It is also of especial service in its brief but profoundly suggestive study of the psychic background of Shakespeare's creative work as illustrated in the sleep walking of Lady Macbeth. The endeavor in the translation has been to make accessible to our English readers the clear and direct psychoanalysis of the author and the peculiar psychologic and literary value of the book.

INTRODUCTION[1]

Sleep walking or night wandering, known also by its Latin name of noctambulism, is a well-known phenomenon. Somnambulism is not so good a term for it, since that signifies too many things. In sleep walking a person rises from his bed in the night, apparently asleep, walks around with closed or half opened eyes, but without perceiving anything, yet performs all sorts of apparently purposeful and often quite complicated actions and gives correct answers to questions, without afterward the least knowledge of what he has said or done. If this all happens at the very time and under the influence of the full moon, it is spoken of as moon walking or being moonstruck.Under the influence of this heavenly body the moonstruck individual is actually enticed from his bed, often gazes fixedly at the moon, stands at the window or climbs out of it, “with the surefootedness of the sleep walker,” climbs up upon the roof and walks about there or, without stumbling, goes into the open. In short, he carries out all sorts of complex actions. Only it would be dangerous to call the wanderer by name, for then he would not only waken where he was, but he would collapse frequently and fall headlong with fright if he found himself on a height.Besides there is absolute amnesia succeeding this. Upon persistent questioning there is an attempt to fill in the gaps in memory by confabulation, like the effort to explain posthypnotic action. Furthermore, it is asserted that a specially deep sleep always ushers in night wandering, that indeed the latter in general is only possible in this condition. It is more frequent with children up to puberty and throughout that period than with adults. At the same time the first outbreak of sleep walking occurs often at the first appearance of sexual maturity. According to a widespread folk belief sleep walking will cease in a girl when she becomes pregnant with her first child.It seems to me that practically no scientific treatment of this problem exists. Modern psychiatry, so far as it takes a sort of general notice of it, contents itself, as Krafft-Ebing does, with calling night wandering “a nervous disease,” “apparently a symptomatic manifestation of other neuroses, epilepsy, hysteria, status nervosus.”[2]The older literature is more explicit. It produces not only a full casuistic but seeks to give some explanation aside from a reference to neurology.[3]So, for example, the safety in climbing upon dangerous places finds this explanation, that the sleep walker goes there with closed eyes and in this way does not see the danger, knows no giddiness and above all is in possession of a specially keen muscular sense.The phenomena of sleep walking and moon walking must be acknowledged, as far as I can see, almost entirely as pathological yet connected or identical with analogous manifestations of normal profound sleep. The dreams in such sleep, in contrast with those of light sleep, are characterized by movements. These often amount merely to speaking out, laughing, weeping, smacking, throwing oneself about and so on, or occasionally to complicated actions, which begin with leaving the bed. Further comparison shows the night wandering as symptomatically similar to hysterical and hypnotic somnambulism. This interpretation might be objected to upon the ground that unfortunately we know nothing of the origin of the motor phenomena of the dream and that understanding of the hysterical and hypnotic somnambulism is deplorably lacking. Still less has science to say about the influence of the moon upon night wandering. The authors extricate themselves from the difficulty by simply denying its influence. They bring forward as their chief argument for this that many sleep walkers are subject to their attacks as frequently in dark as in moonlight nights and when sleeping in rooms into which no beam of moonlight can penetrate. Spitta indeed explains it thus: “The much discussed and romantically treated ‘moon walking’ is a legend which stands in contradiction to hitherto observed facts. That the phantasy of the German folk mind drew to itself the pale ghostly light of the moon and could reckon from it all sorts of wonderful things, proves nothing to us.” I can only say here that ten negative cases signify nothing in the face of a single positive one and a thousand-fold experience undoubtedly represents a certain connection between the light of the full moon and the most complicated forms of sleep walking.Not merely does science avoid these things on account of their strangeness, but also the poets best informed in the things of the soul, whom the problems of night wandering and moon walking should stimulate. From the entire province of artistic literature I can mention only Shakespeare's “Macbeth,” Kleist's “Prinz von Homburg,” the novel “Maria” by Otto Ludwig, “Das Sündkind” by Anzengruber, “Jörn Uhl” by Gustav Frenssen and “Aebelö” by Sophus Michaelis.[4]Finally Ludwig Ganghofer has briefly sketched his own sleep walking in his autobiographical “Lebenslauf eines Optimisten,” and Ludwig Tieck has given unrestrained expression to his passionate love toward this heavenly body in different portions of his works.Only in “Maria” and in “Aebelö” however do these themes play an important part, while in the other works mentioned they serve properly only as adornment and episodic ornament. I am not able to explain this unusual restraint, unless we accept the fact that our best poets shrink from touching upon questions which they themselves can so little understand.It has been expected that the psychoanalytic method, which casts such light upon the unconscious, might do much to advance the understanding of the problems of sleep walking and moon walking. But unfortunately no one undergoes such an expensive and time-consuming treatment as psychoanalysis for moon walking, so that the hoped for illumination can come at the best only as a by-product in the psychoanalysis of neurotics. That has in fact been my good fortune twice, where I have been able to lift the curtain, though only a little, in two cases among my patients and also in individuals who were otherwise healthy. What I discovered there, I will relate in detail in what follows.One point of view I will first set forth. Two questions appear to me to stand out among those closely bound with our theme. First on the motor side. Why does not the sleep walker, who is enjoying apparently a specially deep slumber, sleep on quietly and work out the complexes of his unconscious somehow in a dream, even though with speech or movement there? Why instead is he urged forth and driven to wander about and engage in all sorts of complicated acts? It is one of the most important functions of the dream to prolong sleep quietly. And then in the second place, What value and significance must be attributed to the moon and its light? These two chief questions must be answered by any theory that would do justice to the question of sleep walking and moon walking.

PART I Medical

Case I. Some years ago I treated a hysterical patient, exceedingly erotic. She was at that time twenty-two years old, and on her father's as well as on the mother's side, from a very degenerate family. Alcoholism and epilepsy could be traced with certainty to the third ascendant on both sides. The father's sister is mentally diseased, the patient's mother was an enuretic in her earlier years and a sleep walker. This mother, like her father when he was drunk, was markedly cruel and given to blows, characteristics, which according to our patient, sometimes almost deprived her of her senses and in her anger bordered upon frenzy.The patient herself had been as the youngest child the spoiled darling of both parents and until her seventh year had been taken by them into their bed in the morning to play. In her first three years she always slept between the parents, preferably on the inner side of one of the two beds and with her legs spread, so that, in her mother's words: “One foot belongs to me and one to her father!” She was most strongly drawn, however, to the mother, toward whom at an early age she was sexually stimulated, already in her first year, if her statements can be relied upon, when she sat upon her mother's lap while nursing.The little one early learned also that, when one is sick, one receives new playthings and especially much petting and tenderness, on account of which she often pretended to be sick purposely or she phantasied about dark forms and ugly faces, which of course she never saw, except to compel the mother to stay with her and show her special love and tenderness. Already in her second year she would go to bed most dutifully, “right gladly” to please father and mother and gain sexual pleasure thereby. The father then let her ride on his knee, stroked her upon her buttocks and kissed her passionately upon the lips. The desire after the mother became the stronger. When the latter had lain down and the little one had been good, then the child would creep to the mother under the feather bed and snuggle close to her body (“wind herself fast like a serpent”). The mother's firm body gave her extraordinary pleasure, yes, not infrequently it led to the expulsion of a secretion from the cervix uteri. (“The good comes,” as she expressed it.) I mention convulsive attacks and enuresis nocturna, as pathological affections of her childhood which belong to my theme. The patient had in fact suffered in her first year a concussion of the brain, through being thrown against a brick wall, with organic eclamptic attacks as a result. The great love which she had experienced because of this led her also later to imitate those attacks hysterically. In the fourth year, for example, when she had to sleep in a child's crib, no longer between the beloved parents, she immediately produced attacks of anxiety in which she saw ugly faces and witches as in the beginning of the eclamptic convulsions. Thereupon the frightened mother took her again into her own bed. Later also she often began to moan and fret until the mother would take her in her arms to ward off the threatened attacks, and thus she could stimulate herself to her heart's content. As she reports, at the height of the orgasm she expelled a secretion, her body began to writhe convulsively, her face became red as fire, her eyes rolled about and she almost lost herself in her great pleasure.Concerning her enuresis, in its relation to urethral eroticism, the patient relates the following: “When I pressed myself against my mother's or brother's thigh, not only ‘the good’ came, but frequently also urine with it. At about eight years old there was often a very strong compulsion to urinate, especially at night, which would cause me to wet my bed. This was however according to my wish to pass not urine but that same secretion which I had voided at two or three years old, when I became so wildly excited with my mother, that is when, lying in bed with her, I pressed her thigh between mine. I could not stop it in spite of all threats or punishments. Very curiously I usually awoke when I voided urine, but I could not retain it in the face of the great pleasure.”I lay emphasis upon a specially strong homosexual tendency[5]among her various perversions, although she had the usual sex relations with a legion of men with complete satisfaction. Furthermore, as sadistic-masochistic traits, there was an abnormal pleasure in giving and receiving blows and a passionate desire for blood. It was a sexual excitement that occurred when she saw her own blood or that of others. I have elsewhere[6]described this blood sadism and I will refer here to only two features, which are of significance also in regard to her moon walking. The first is her greatly exaggerated vaginal eroticism, which at menstruation especially was abnormally pleasurably excited. The second, on the other hand, was that our patient already at the age of two years should have experienced sexual pleasure in the mother's hemoptysis. Sitting on the mother's lap she stimulated herself upon the latter's breast, when she began to scrape and then to cough up blood. She reached after her bloody lips in order afterward to lick off her own fingers. As a result of the sexual overexcitement which occurred then, blood has afforded her enormous pleasure ever since, when she has looked upon it.As for the rest of her life, I will refer to two other points only, which are not without importance for our problem. First of all was the change of dwelling after the father's death in our patient's seventh year. The other is her burning desire, arising in her third or fourth year, to play mother and most eagerly with a real live child. A baby doll, of which she came into possession, was only a substitute, although for want of something better she carried this around passionately and did not once lay it out of her arms while asleep. At the age of eight it was her greatest delight to trudge around with a small two year old girl from the house and sing her to sleep as her mother had once done to her. “Carrying that child around was my greatest delight until I was fourteen years old.”I mentioned above that her mother had been sadistic and at the same time a sleep walker. “Mother herself told me that she also rather frequently walked at night. As a child she would wander around in her room without being able to find her bed again. Over and over again she would pass it without finding her way into it. Then she would begin to cry loudly with fright for her bed until Grandmother awoke and lifted her into bed. In the morning she remembered nothing at all about it. “It was the same way with her desire to urinate. Every night she had a frightful need to urinate and hunted for the chamber, but, although it always stood in its accustomed place, she was not able to find it. Meanwhile the desire grew more severe, so that she began moaning fearfully in her sleep while hunting. She sought all over the room, even crept around under the bed without touching or noticing the chamber, which was there. Often she did not then return to her bed until Grandmother was awakened by her moans, brought her what she wanted and helped her to bed. It happened rather frequently that, because of the very great need, she wet the bed or the room while on her search, whereupon naturally a whipping followed. Sometimes she lay quite quiet later on in her sleep, but when she could not find her bed, was obliged to pass half the night in the cold room. Once when I myself wet my bed, she struck me with the words: ‘Every time that this happens you will be whipped; my mother whipped me for this reason’ Although she knew from her own experience that it could not be helped, yet she struck me. “Besides the moon exercised a great power over my mother. Since the house in which she lived was low and stood out in the open country, and there were no window blinds, on bright moonlight nights the moon shone into the farthest corner. In the corner stood a box, on which were a number of flower pots, figures and glass covers. Upon this box she climbed, after she had first taken down one object after another and placed them on the floor without breaking anything. Then she began to dance upon the top of the box, but only on bright moonlight nights. Finally she put everything back in exactly the same place to a hair's breadth and climbed out of the window, but not before she had removed there a number of flower pots out of the way. From the window she reached the court where she rambled about, climbed over the garden fence and walked around at least an hour. Then she went back, arranged the flowers on the window in exact order and—could not find her way to bed. There was always a scene the next day if Grandmother had been wakened in the night.”The most noteworthy feature in this statement, beside the phenomenon of sadism, later taken over by the daughter, the urethral eroticism and the susceptibility toward the moonlight, is the behavior of the mother while walking in her sleep. She plainly has an idea where the flower pots stand, which she removes from the box and the window, but on the other hand she comes in contact neither with the bed nor the chamber, which yet are in their usual places. We will also take note further on of the dancing upon the box in the bright moonlight as well as the climbing out of the window, climbing and walking about.Before I go on with my patient's story, something should be said concerning its origin. She had been undergoing psychoanalytic treatment with me for nine months on account of various severe hysterical symptoms, which I will not here touch upon further, when she one day came out with the proposal that she write for me her autobiography. I agreed to it and she brought me little by little about two hundred fifty pages of folio, which she had prepared without any influence on my part, except of course that she had, in those months of treatment, made the technique of the analysis very much her own as far as it touched upon her case. Practically nothing in our work together in solving her difficulties was said of her sleep walking. I have also in no way influenced or been able to influence her explanation. It originates solely from the patient's associations and the employment of her newly acquired knowledge of the unconscious in the interpretation of her symptoms.I find then in her account of her life some highly interesting points. “Even at two or three years old Mother at my entreaties must soothe me to sleep. As we lay together in bed I pretended often to be asleep and reached as if ‘in my sleep’ after my mother's breast in order to revel in sensation there. Also I often uncovered myself, again ostensibly in my sleep, and laid myself down quite contentedly. Then I awoke my mother by coughing, and when she awoke she stroked me and fondled me, and as was her custom kissed me also upon the genitals. Frequently I stood up in bed between my parents—a forerunner of my later sleep walking—and laid myself down at my mother's feet, asleep as she thought, but in reality awake only with eyes closed. Then I pulled the feather bed away from Mother and blinked at her in order to see her naked body, which I could do better from the foot than if I had lain near her. “If she awoke she took me up to my place, kissed me repeatedly over my whole body and covered me up. I opened my eyes then as if just awakening, she kissed me on the eyes and said I should go quietly to sleep again, which I then did. “Still earlier, at one or two years, I pretended to be asleep when my parents went to bed, that I might obtain caresses, because Father and Mother always said, ‘See, how dear, what a little angel!’ They kissed me then and I opened my eyes as if waking from deep sleep. This was the first time that I pretended to be asleep. I often lay thus for a long time apparently asleep but really awake. For when the parents saw that I was asleep, they told one another all sorts of things about us children. Especially Mother often spoke of my fine traits, or that people praised me and found me ‘so dear’ which she never said in my presence lest she should make me vain.”Here is an early preceding period when the little one deliberately pretends to be asleep in order to hear loving things, receive caresses and experience sexual activity without having to be held accountable or to be afraid of receiving punishment, because everything happens in sleep. In the same way similar erotic motives and analogous behavior may be found in the account of her other actions while asleep. As she began to talk at two years old her parents begged her to tell everything that had happened to her, for example in the absence of either of them. She must tell to the minutest detail, when she awoke early lying between her parents, what had happened to her during the day before, what she had done with her brothers and sisters, what had taken place for her at school, and so on. She responded so much the more gladly, because in narrating all this she could excite herself more or less as well upon the father's as upon the mother's body.In fact, this was the very source of a direct compulsion to have to tell things, from which she often had to suffer frightfully. The very bigoted mother sent her regularly from her sixth year on with her sister to the preaching services with the express injunction to report the sermons at home. And although on account of her poor head she had to struggle grievously with every poem or bit of lesson which she had to learn for school, yet now at home she would seat herself upon a hassock, spread a handkerchief over her shoulders and begin to drone out the whole sermon as she had heard it in the church from the minister. And this all merely out of love for her mother! Furthermore she was, according to her own words, directly in love with her teacher in the school, who often struck her on account of her inattentiveness and certainly did not treat her otherwise with fondness. Here is a motive for the later learning, singing and reciting of poetry during the sleep walking, while the pleasure in being struck when at fault was increased by self reproach, that she in spite of all her pains was so bad at learning. “During my whole childhood,” the patient states, “I talked a great deal in my sleep. When I had a task to learn by heart, I said over the given selection or the poem in my sleep. This happened the first time when I was eight years old, on a bright moonlight night. I was sleeping at the time in the bed with my sister and I arose in the night, recited a poem and sang songs. At about the same period, standing on a chair or on the bed, I repeated parts of sermons which I had heard the day before at church. Besides I prattled about everything which I had done the previous day or about my play. How often I was afraid that I would divulge something from my sexual play with my brother! That must never have happened, however, or mother would have mentioned it to me, for she always told me everything that I said during the night.” I might perhaps sum up this activity in her sleep after this fashion: Day and night she is studying for the beloved but unresponsive teacher and strives to win and to keep her good will as well as that of the mother through the repeating of sermons and relating of all the events of the day. “As for the talking in my sleep, I began at the age of two or three, though awake, to pretend to be asleep and to speak out as if asleep. For example I acted as if I were tormented with frightful dreams and cried out with great terror, ostensibly in a dream: ‘Mother, Mother, take me!’ or ‘Stay with me!’ or something of the sort. Then Mother took me, as I had anticipated, under her feather bed and quieted me, but I naturally became excited while I pressed my legs about her body presumably from fear of witches and immediately there occurred a ‘convulsive attack,’ that is I now experienced such lustful pleasure that ‘the good’ came.”Attention may further be called to the fact that she threw herself about violently in her sleep, which caused her, as the daughter of so brutal a mother, who was herself a sado-masochist, an excessive amount of pleasurable sensation. When only two or three years old, as she lay between the parents, she pushed them with hands and feet, of which she was quite conscious, while they thought it happened in sleep. This brought the advantage that she was not responsible for anything which happened in sleep, for it occurred when she was in an unconscious condition.The changing of the home in her seventh year, after the death of the father, led to her sharing the bed of her sister six years older than she. “My sister had the habit of throwing off the covers in her sleep or twisting her legs about mine. I, on the other hand, always hit her in my sleep with hands or feet. Naturally I could not help it since it actually happened while I was asleep, yet when my sister could stand it no longer I had to go and lie with Mother. I also struck her in my sleep. Besides I nestled up against her body, especially her buttocks, and experienced very pleasurable excitement. For it was simply impossible with her strong body and in the narrow bed to avoid touching my mother. Only I did it to her quite consciously, but she was of the impression that I pressed upon her in my sleep because I had no room in bed. The reason that I as a small child pushed against my parents in bed was simply the wish to be able to strike them once to my heart's desire, and since this was impossible during the day, I did it while asleep, when no one is responsible for what one does. Striking my sister then actually in my sleep, when I was seven years old, was again the wish to be able to excite myself pleasurably by the blows as when a smaller child.” Here her sadism again breaks through in this desire to strike mother and sister according to her heart's desire and it especially excited her because of her constitutionally exaggerated muscle erotic. I have discussed this sadism at length elsewhere.[7]It can be affirmed, if we examine her behavior in sleep, that without exception sexual wishes lay at the bottom of it, just as the dream also, as is well known, always represents the fulfilment of infantile wishes. The plainly erotic character is never wanting in an apparently asexual action, if we penetrate it more deeply. So for example this patient repeated the sermon at her mother's bidding in order to receive her love and praise. Saying her lessons at night arose from her strong attachment to her teacher, which again in turn was a stage of her love for her mother. Naturally this was all concerned with wishes, which, strictly tabooed when awake, could only be gratified in unconsciousness, somehow carried out in sleep, or, as with the simulated convulsions, only in the mother's bed. The behavior during sleep served especially well to grant sexual pleasure but without guilt or liability to punishment.It was quite in order further that a conscious activity preceded the unconscious activity in sleep, that is, that for a time the patient while awake, but with closed eyes and therefore apparently asleep, did the very thing which later was done in actual unconsciousness. What then impressed itself as an unconscious performance during sleep, had been earlier done consciously, almost I might say as “a studied action.” Only in special cases is there any need for playing such a comedy, for the direct demand of a beloved individual—“You must tell everything,” “You must learn diligently,” “Repeat the sermon accurately,”—when the eroticism is well concealed, permits of open action without more hindrance. It may be noted further that the patient never betrayed in the least in her sleep what she must have been at pains carefully to conceal, as, for example, the sexual play with her brother. Finally the striking participation of the muscle erotic at times in sleep must be emphasized.We have found already as roots and motives of her sleep activity sexual, strongly forbidden wishes, which particularly could often be gratified only in bed; the striving that she might commit misdemeanor without being held guilty or answerable; further the practicing of these things first while awake; and finally, as an organic root, at least the pleasure in blows in sleep, the undeniably exaggerated muscle erotic. Nearly everything takes place in bed, only occasionally outside it, and then always near it. Complicated actions are completely wanting. Likewise nothing was said of the influence of the light or of the moon. Only in passing was it mentioned that the patient arose in the moonlight for her first nightly recitation of lessons.The group of phenomena which we will now take up displays complicated performances and stands above all under the evident influence of the light of the moon. “In my fourth year,” the patient relates, “I was put for the first time into a little bed of my own, so that my mother, who the day before had begun to cough up blood, should have more rest. She had closed the net of my crib and that I should not be frightened moved the crib up to her large bed. I pretended to be asleep and as soon as my parents had fallen asleep I climbed over the side but was so unfortunate as to fall into my mother's bed. I was quickly laid back in my own bed, without having seen the blood, which was my special longing. Often after this, almost every night, I tried again to climb into Mother's bed, so that finally she placed my bed by the wall in order to prevent my climbing over to her. For some months I slept alone in my little bed. She caught me one night, however, this time actually in my sleep, trying to climb over the side but entangled in the net. Fortunately I did not fall out but back into bed. At that time I produced also my pretended convulsive attacks that I might be taken by Mother into her bed and be able to excite myself upon her. “Mother began raising blood again when I was ten years old and we had already moved into the new home. That year she was seized twice with such severe hemorrhages that for weeks she hovered between life and death. Then in my eleventh year I began my sleep walking. What urged me to it was again Mother's coughing of blood as well as the desire to see her blood, both reasons why I had already at four years old pretended sleep so that I could climb into Mother's bed.”The patient proved herself such an ideal nurse on the occasion of the mother's severe hemorrhage that the mother would have no one else. She watched tirelessly day and night together with her sisters, changing every few minutes the icebags which had been ordered. “Scarcely a moment did I tear myself away from my mother's bedside and, if one of my sisters relieved me, I often could hardly move, undress myself and lie down for an hour. If I did lie down, I threw myself about restlessly, torn with anxiety, and was only happy again when I sat by my mother's bed.” This fearful anxiety was not however merely fear for the precious life of the mother, but still more, repressed libido. In spite of all her concern for the mother's suffering she could not prevent the strongest sexual pleasurable sensations at the sight of the mother's snow white breast in putting on the applications or when she raised blood. This intensive nursing lasted four weeks until finally a nursing Sister came to assist. “As I now for the first time could enjoy a full night's rest, I fell into a deep sleep, as from this time on I always did before every sleep walking. Near my bed stood the table with Mother's medicine and on the window ledge, behind the curtain, a lamp, which threw its light upon my bed. Suddenly I arose in my sleep, went to my mother's bed, bent over her. Mother opened her eyes but did not rouse herself. Then the Sister, who was dozing on the sofa near Mother's bed, awoke and rushed forward frightened as she saw me there in my nightgown. She thought something had happened to Mother, but the latter motioned with her hand to leave me alone and to keep still. I kissed Mother and changed the icebag, apparently in order to see her breast. I could see no blood this time, so without a sound I moved away and went to the table, where I put all the medicines carefully together to make a place and then went out into the pitch dark kitchen without stumbling against anything. There I took from the kitchen dresser a bowl with a saucer and a spoon and came back again to the room. Next I seized a glass of water which stood there and poured the water carefully into the bowl without spilling more than a drop. With this I spoke out half aloud to myself: ‘Now Emil (my brother-in-law, who had for a long time taken his breakfast with us) can come to his breakfast without disturbing Mother, who had always prepared it for him.’ Then I went to bed and slept soundly for some hours, as I sleep only at my periods of sleep walking, without crying out. All that I have described the Sister of Charity told me afterward. Naturally I did everything with closed eyes, without knowing it, and moved about as securely in the darkness as if it had been bright day. The next morning they told me about it and laughed over it.”This is what she has to say of the influence of the light upon her sleep walking. “Here also Mother's coughing was the external cause as it had been when I was four years old. When Mother was ill, the lamp was left upon the window sill behind the curtain, burning brightly so that she would not be afraid. Now also, at the time of my first complicated sleep walking, such a light was burning behind the curtain throwing its light upon my bed and the wall. Mother had always left the light burning in order to see me at once, after I had sometimes climbed over the side of my crib at the age of four, when she was ill. The light however made me climb over to her, because in the dark no blood could be seen. Also when I began to moan, during my convulsive attacks, she made a light and came to my bed. Or she said, when my bed was pushed close to hers: ‘Wait a moment; I will make a light and take you or you can climb over to me.’ Next day I laughed with my parents over my visit at night, without suspecting that I would soon be repeating it actually in my sleep. And it was only for this, that I might, as at the very first time, enjoy the sight of Mother's blood. Now, when she had a light burning during her illness, this allured me in my sleep to climb out to her, as at that first time when she had made a light especially for me to climb over to her.”