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- Herausgeber: IVP Bible Studies
- Kategorie: Religion und Spiritualität
- Sprache: Englisch
"Mindy Caliguire knows and cares about the deep things of the soul. She's been there. And she can be a wise guide here for you," says John Ortberg, author of The Life You've Always Wanted.We are tired. Many of us long for sources of nurture for our weary souls. But we don't know where to turn. We've tried various Christian plans for growth, yet sometimes these programs leave us even more drained and frustrated. Interestingly, the answer can be found in our everyday lives: ordinary relationships can restore life and health to our depleted souls.So why do we resist intimacy with others if it's part of our soul's architecture? Because people also cause us pain.Soul Care Resources are designed to be simple, but not simplistic, guides to maintaining or recovering the life and health of your soul. Spiritual Friendship introduces you to principles of friendship that bring focus to your spiritual life. You'll discover what it takes to have a rich, God-centered relationship that will nourish your soul.You use this book in small chunks of daily reading, covering the whole book in the course of four weeks. Also included are four guided group discussions for use with a small group or a spiritual friend.Also available in the Soul Care Resources series is Discovering Soul Care, an introduction to the resources for spiritual health we have in Christ.Are you ready to recover your reserves?
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Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2010
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SPIRITUAL FRIENDSHIP
CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
At one time, my soul suffered from a severe case of malnourishment. During a time of painful circumstances, when important relationships became confusing, I experienced disillusionment with my high ideals and a clear lack of control. I felt numb, as though my body just kept going through the motions of my life, but nobody was “home” inside. It was hard to connect with God, and in truth I had stopped even wanting to try.
A part of what my soul needed to avoid this deep slump was right in front of me, but I resisted mightily. While I felt strongly that I didn’t need more people in my life, I desperately needed at least one soul friend. I needed a friend who knew my history, who knew my weaknesses, who celebrated my strengths and who knew God intimately. I needed an intimate, life-giving relationship that would help me pay attention to the activity of God in my life and help me respond.
Many who eventually became such friends in my life were right nearby, but I had never allowed myself to open up to them, nor had I learned how to be that kind of friend to someone else. I knew how to be a leader, helper, encourager, coach and follower, but those roles are not all that we’re made to be. I did not know how to be a friend.
By God’s design, far beyond our “roles,” we are highly relational beings. Even those of us possessing the crustiest exterior have an intrinsic need for human connection. It’s simply the way we are made—in the image of God. And while that explains many of the amazing qualities of the human soul (like the sophistication of our imagination, reason and communication), our being drafted in the likeness of the triune God also implies a unique and necessary way of relating. We are made for meaningful relationships in which we open ourselves wide to one another in self-giving, nonhierarchical, mutual love.
So why do we—why did I—resist intimacy with others if it’s part of the soul’s architecture? Usually, we don’t have to look too far for the answer. Think for a moment: what have caused the greatest sources of pain in your life? If you’re like most people, the deepest wounds and the greatest traumas did not result from random financial reversals or even from a tragic accident or illness. The vast majority of our deepest hurts stem from relationships.
Whether we were abandoned, betrayed, ignored, rejected, abused or marginalized, the deepest scars on the human soul are those received at the hands of other people. People we knew. People we trusted. People we “let in.” Years, decades and, in some cases, entire lifetimes later, the pain associated with those relational scars can feel as fresh as the original wound itself. The human soul does not recover easily from a blow to our point of connection; sometimes it does not recover at all. Perhaps, even as you read these words, certain names and incidents spring to mind—you have known this to be true in your own life as well.
But did you ever wonder why people—relationships—have the power to wound us so deeply? to scar a human being for life? Put very simply, it could never hurt that deeply or shape us that greatly or remain with us for that long unless that place inside us is the core of who we are—the core of the way we are. When we become wounded at our point of connection with others, we become wounded at the very core of our identity.
If you are old enough to read these words, you are invariably among those of us who bear the invisible marks of soul wounds dealt by the hands of others. And you are old enough to have caused a few of those wounds yourself. No two ways around it, relationships are painful and messy.
When we recognize the need to care for our souls, then the very last thing we’d want to do would be to put ourselves back into that precarious place of reaching out to others. I know it wasn’t exactly at the top of my list. Why on earth would we venture such a risk? The safest place to be, it would seem, is alone.
Or is it?
I hope to change your mind.
Using This Book
This book is divided into four experiences: “A Sour ce of Spiritual Power,” “Barriers to Soul Friendship,” “Forging a Soul Friendship” and “Going Deeper.” Within each experience are four distinct parts that can be used as daily readings (though some parts are longer than others). The parts build on each other, so you’ll want to read one part at a time and take time to reflect on the questions embedded within the text.
Giving yourself a day or two for each of the parts should allow you to comfortably complete one experience in a week and the entire guide within about a month. Each of the four experiences is followed by a discussion starter if you wish to share this with a friend or small group.
The other Soul Care Resources book available—Discovering Soul Care—will allow you to explore specific ways to care for your soul with greater intentionality.
“A truly loyal friend sees nothing in his friend but his heart.”
AELRED OF RIEVAULX
EXPERIENCE ONE / A Source of Spiritual Power
1
PATH FOR GROWTH
Many of us realize the importance of prayer for building a deeper relationship with God. The study of Scripture, too, is a classic and necessary element of spiritual growth. Times of solitude, along with a host of other valuable spiritual practices, can also be helpful.
All of these have in common the ability to help your soul get quiet and be open to the power and love only available in God. In those times, the human soul “cracks” open, and the Spirit of God moves to shape and heal, woo and nurture, correct and direct the inner being—far below the level of words. God’s Spirit is doing “soul surgery” on a willing patient. Amazing!
Soul restoration—soul transformation—happens. But it requires both our own and God’s involvement. Like a joint project we work on together, there are things God “brings to the table” and there are things we bring. God brings the love, the power, the vision for who we are and who we are becoming (basically God brings most everything), but we must bring our part as well: openness.
■When was the last time you sat down with God? What do you recall being significant about that time?
■ What kinds of things usually help you be willing to connect with God authentically? For some it might be time in nature, for others worship music and for others silence.
Spiritual practices help us actually sit down with God. They help us get quiet internally, and they help us lean in to better listen and receive from God. When the love and power and radical goodness of God are welcomed deeply into the human soul, things start to happen! We actually become more loving, less self-centered; more sensitive, less calloused; more generous, less greedy. Over time we become effective in whatever role God has for us in extending his love, grace and provision to the hurting world around us.
There are times, however, when the limits of individual spiritual practices become exposed: times of great tragedy, of spiritual or emotional fatigue, or of just remaining stuck spiritually. I’ve experienced them all. What do you do when you can’t stand the thought of praying, when the words of the Bible seem plastic and false? What about when you’ve been doing everything “right” and the bottom falls out? When the ministry initiative fails? When a child dies in a freak accident? When a spouse says, “I’m leaving”? When the ropes of addiction still bind you even when you know all the right theology?
These are the times when spiritual friendship can still connect us to God.
Now, while I am not saying that authentic relationships magically make various troubles disappear, I am saying that when we are isolated in the midst of these circumstances, we are closing ourselves off to one of the primary mechanisms by which God will touch our lives.
Human relationships are bumpy. We fail one another regularly. But the fact remains that God has mysteriously endowed each of his followers with the presence of his Spirit so that when we live openly and honestly with at least a few others, we also necessarily open ourselves directly to the power and love of God.
