Stars in the Southern Sky E-Book

Elizabeth Haran

• Herausgeber: Bastei Entertainment
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 798

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2017

Beschreibung

London 1954: When Estella is abandoned by her lawyer husband, James, her life of luxury crumbles. Not only had he left his job and frittered away their savings, James was cheating on Estella--with her cousin Davinia. But the family secrets didn't end there.
Heartbroken, Estella turns her back on England. Her distant uncle Charlie beckons her to Australia, where she accepts a new position--village veterinarian. She had studied veterinary medicine, but she'd never had a real job. As Estella sets off for the outback, she carries secrets of her own: she is pregnant with James' baby.
Day one in the bush brings the young Londoner to tears. Kangaroo Crossing, population thirteen, was not what Estella had expected. Sweltering. Dusty. Fly-infested. From the gruff propeller plane pilot to the perpetually drunken town doctor, the locals eye the newcomer with suspicion.
After a series of harrowing events, Estella strives to prove herself capable of the job. Just as the villagers of Kangaroo Crossing start to accept Estella—and a romance starts to blossom—her past catches up with her. She's been hiding things from them.
Back in England, James has gotten wind of the baby. His new wife, Davinia, can't have children... but her lavish inheritance depends on an heir. James will stop at nothing to get what is his. Can Estella save her baby—and herself—from the wild Australian bush? Will she ever learn to love again?
Stars in the Southern Sky is an historical saga set in the "most isolated town" of Australia. From its passionate people, to its mystic wildlife, the outback becomes its own character in Elizabeth Haran's novel about learning how to thrive in the face of adversity.
With an eye for detail, Elizabeth Haran has written numerous historical romance novels including Staircase to the Moon, Island of Whispering Winds, Under a Flaming Sky, Dreams beneath a Red Sun, and River of Fortune, available as ebooks.
Haran's novels are perfect for fans of family sagas set in beautiful locations like Sarah Lark's, Island of a Thousand Springs or Kate Morton's, The Forgotten Garden.

Leseprobe

Contents

Cover

About the Book

About the Author

Title

Copyright

Dedication

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 7

CHAPTER 8

CHAPTER 9

CHAPTER 10

CHAPTER 11

CHAPTER 12

CHAPTER 13

CHAPTER 14

CHAPTER 15

CHAPTER 16

CHAPTER 17

CHAPTER 18

CHAPTER 19

CHAPTER 20

CHAPTER 21

CHAPTER 22

CHAPTER 23

CHAPTER 24

CHAPTER 25

CHAPTER 26

CHAPTER 27

CHAPTER 28

CHAPTER 29

CHAPTER 30

CHAPTER 31

CHAPTER 32

CHAPTER 33

CHAPTER 34

CHAPTER 35

CHAPTER 36

CHAPTER 37

A chat with Elizabeth

About the Book

London 1954: When Estella is abandoned by her lawyer husband, James, her life of luxury crumbles. Not only had he left his job and frittered away their savings, James was cheating on Estella. With her cousin Davinia. But the family secrets don’t end there.

Heartbroken, Estella turns her back on England. Her distant uncle Charlie beckons her to Australia, where she accepts a new position--village veterinarian. She had studied veterinary medicine, but she’d never had a real job. As Estella sets off for the outback, she carries secrets of her own: she is pregnant with James’ baby.

Day one in the bush brings the young Londoner to tears. Kangaroo Crossing, population thirteen, was not what Estella had expected. Sweltering. Dusty. Fly-infested. From the gruff propeller plane pilot to the perpetually drunken town doctor, the locals eye the newcomer with suspicion.

After a series of harrowing events, Estella strives to prove herself capable of the job. Just as the villagers of Kangaroo Crossing start to accept Estella—and a romance starts to blossom—her past catches up with her. She’s been hiding things from them.

Back in England, James has gotten wind of the baby. His new wife, Davinia, can’t have children … but her lavish inheritance depends on an heir. James will stop at nothing to get what is his. Can Estella save her baby—and herself—from the wild Australian bush? Will she ever learn to love again?

About the Author

Elizabeth Haran was born in Bulawayo, Zimbabwe (formerly known as Southern Rhodesia.) Afterward her family moved to England and wandered from there to Australia. Today she lives with her husband in a seaside suburb of Adelaide in South Australia. She has two grown sons. She discovered her passion for writing in her early 30s. Previously she worked as a model, owned a nursery, and looked after learning-disabled children.

Readers can connect with Elizabeth on various social media platforms:

www.elizabethharan.com

@ElizabethHaran

Facebook Author Page

ELIZABETH HARAN

STARSIN THESOUTHERNSKY

A Novel

»be« by BASTEI ENTERTAINMENT

Digital original edition

»be« by Bastei Entertainment is an imprint of Bastei Lübbe AG

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. This book is written in British English.

This title was acquired through the literary agency Thomas Schlück GmbH,30827 Garbsen, Germany

Copyright © 2017 by Bastei Lübbe AG, Schanzenstraße 6-20, 51063 Cologne, Germany

Written by Elizabeth Haran

Edited by Melanie Blank-Schröder and Amanda Wright

Project editor: Lori Herber-Griffin

Cover design: Manuela Städele-Monverde

eBook produced by Urban SatzKonzept, Düsseldorf

ISBN 978-3-7325-4614-5

www.be-ebooks.com

Follow us on Twitter! @be_ebooks.com

I want to dedicate this book to the supportive women in my life.

To my mother who has been there through all the ups and downs of my life, and to my sister, whose friendship I treasure.

And to my agent, Franka, and my editor, Melanie, who are always caring, sensitive, and encouraging. They make writing easy.

CHAPTER 1

London, England — July, 1954

“Sorry to keep you waiting, Estella,” Dr. Blake said, coming back into his office. “The test took a little longer than usual. My new nurse gets flustered at the drop of a hat, and she can hardly stand the sight of blood. I don’t know what I’m going to do with her ….” He rolled his eyes.

“Please. Tell me the results.”

Alfred Blake could see that Estella was anxious, so he gave her the news without further ado. “Your suspicions were correct. You are indeed pregnant. Congratulations!”

Much to his surprise, Estella looked anything but pleased as she dropped her head. She was sitting on the edge of her seat on the far side of his untidy desk, with her hands fidgeting nervously in her lap. When she looked up again, he saw her big green eyes fill with tears that spilled and ran down her pale cheeks. “I don’t know that congratulations are in order, Dr. Blake.”

Estella’s family had been seeing Dr. Blake long before Estella had been born. In fact, he’d delivered her, and it broke his heart to see her so unhappy at a time when she should be overjoyed.

“What is it, dear? Don’t you want a baby?”

She nodded, then shook her head, and then nodded again, baffling him.

“I’m sorry I’m so emotional, Dr. Blake. I don’t know what’s the matter with me. I’m normally calm and rational, but I find myself crying at the slightest thing and contradicting everything poor James says.”

The doctor came around to Estella’s side of the desk and took her hand, patting it as he had done all her life. “That’s quite common under the circumstances. Your body is going through dramatic changes.”

“Am I going to be like this for the entire pregnancy?”

“No. Your emotions will settle, but don’t be alarmed if you’re forgetful. That’s also quite normal. Have you been suffering morning sickness?”

“I feel queasy sometimes, but it happens at odd hours.”

“Morning sickness doesn’t always occur in the morning. It can happen in the afternoon or at night, and your tastes might change. You could suddenly find you can’t stand the smell of foods that you once loved, or you might crave things you never liked.”

“Oh, dear, being pregnant sounds dreadful.” She began to cry again.

“Believe it or not, Estella, it’s going to be wonderful.”

Estella sniffed loudly. “I studied biology, anatomy, and physiology at university. You’d think I’d know all about the changes the body goes through when gestating.”

Dr. Blake laughed. Perching himself on the corner of his desk, he said, “You were studying to become a veterinarian, so I’m sure you were thinking in terms of cats and cows, not people. Your emotions are a little more complicated than those of an animal.” He frowned. “Are you worried about how James will react to the prospect of being a father?”

Estella nodded, and tears filled her eyes again. “He’s not ready for this.”

“Ready or not, it can’t be avoided now. But you mustn’t upset yourself. It’s not good for you or the baby. And stop worrying about James. I’m sure he’ll be thrilled once he gets used to the idea.” He handed her a clean handkerchief.

“I’m not so certain,” she sobbed. “Whenever I’ve brought up the idea, he’s been less than willing to discuss it.”

“You have a happy marriage, don’t you, Estella?”

“Yes, but James is still very much a boy at heart.” She glanced up at Dr. Blake almost apologetically.

He smiled kindly, his blue eyes twinkling at her. “I’m afraid that’s not likely to change until he has some real responsibility. It’s been just the two of you for almost a year. He’s had no real reason to grow up. I’m sure his solicitor’s practise is hard work, but you’ve both enjoyed the freedom to indulge in all that London provides in the way of social occasions.”

“We certainly have, and James loves to socialise. I don’t think he wants to give it up, and I’m equally sure that I couldn’t cope with being a mother and still attend as many parties and balls as we do, even with help at home.”

“My dear, it’s a beautiful day. Why not pack a picnic basket and surprise James at the office? Take him to Hyde Park, and tell him the news. I think you’ll find you’ve been worrying for nothing.”

Estella stood up and tried to pull herself together. “I suppose he has to know sooner or later.”

“How do you feel, Estella? Are you happy to be having your first child?”

Estella put her hand on her tummy and tried to imagine the tiny life growing within her. Slowly, a smile appeared on her pretty face. Arthur Blake loved to see the looks of wonderment on the faces of expectant mothers. Those moments were what made his work so satisfying.

Estella wandered through the glass-roofed promenade of the Burlington Arcade, stopping to admire a lovely tweed suit that caught her eye. The calf-length pencil skirt and fitted hip-length jacket would have suited her willowy figure, but knowing her shape was about to change, she smiled wistfully. She couldn’t help wondering if she was ready for all the changes taking place in her body. Turning, she caught her own reflection in the window. She was wearing a cream-coloured calf-length dress, the full skirt splashed with red roses, and red shoes and a matching broad-brimmed hat. She tried to imagine her tummy distended and her legs and feet swollen. She wondered if James would find her attractive, and again tears filled her eyes. “Oh, for goodness sake,” she muttered, becoming impatient with herself. “James loves me, and he’ll love our child.” Although he could be self-indulgent at times, she was sure he’d be a wonderful role model. Secretly, she hoped they were having a son so that James could play football with him in the park. He’d always been very athletic, especially at university, so she was certain having a son would thrill him.

Estella opened the door to James’s office in a building on Grosvenor Square, and stopped in her tracks. Expecting to see the mousy Miss Frobisher, her husband’s assistant, she was confronted with a woman with wide shoulders, strong arms, and an intimidating expression. The woman looked like she’d be well suited as the matron at St. Bernard’s Asylum in Ealing. Glancing at the mountain of sandwiches and cake on the unfamiliar desk in front of the woman, Estella realised she had disturbed her lunch. “Excuse me. Where’s Ms. Frobisher?”

“Who is Ms. Frobisher?” the woman growled, a bulging sandwich poised in front of her twitching lips.

“My husband’s assistant. Is she ill?”

“I work for Mr. Cook, and you are certainly not his wife.” Estella was given a once-over by a pair of piercing, ice- blue eyes. Normally, she would have been annoyed, but with the way she was feeling at the moment, she only wanted to turn and flee. “I’m Mrs. Lawford. I don’t know a Mr. Cook.”

“And I don’t know a Mr. Lawford.” The icy blue eyes narrowed as the woman put her sandwich down with obvious reluctance, and got up from her chair. She stepped towards Estella with a glint of ominous intent in her eyes, giving her the impression she was about to be unceremoniously tossed out the door. “Are you sure you have the correct office, Mrs. Lawford?” the woman asked with distinct impatience.

“I know my husband’s place of work,” Estella said, glancing at the frosted pane of glass in the door. She was alarmed to see that her husband’s title, James Lawford — Solicitor, was gone. Suddenly, Estella burst into tears. She felt foolish, but she couldn’t help it. How could she not find her husband’s place of work?

Reluctantly, the woman’s face softened. She glanced back at her lunch for a moment as if undecided. Then she turned back to Estella and sighed. “What’s the matter, dear?”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Estella sobbed. “I just wanted to have a lovely picnic lunch with my husband and tell him we’re expecting our first child. But I can’t even find his office. I’m sorry I’m so emotional ….”

The woman’s demeanour thawed even further as she leaned towards Estella and said, “It’s all right, dear. I was the same with all five of mine. Thankfully, they’re grown up now.”

Estella tried to imagine the woman before her as something other than robust and disciplined, but found it impossible.

“In a couple of weeks you’ll be fine, dear.”

“I hope so. As I am now, I can hardly bear to be around myself.”

A middle-aged gentleman came through the door, shrugging his jacket off his shoulders. “It’s quite warm outside,” he said, turning towards the desk. When he saw Estella crying, his eyes widened, and he glanced at his secretary. “Is something wrong, Edwina?”

“No, Mr. Cook. Mrs. Lawford will be all right in a minute. She’s looking for her husband, and she got the wrong office.”

“I was sure I had the right office,” Estella stated. “This is the Edmund Foley Building, isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“And the number on the door is six, which makes this my husband’s office.”

“We’ve been here for about a month, Mrs. Lawford, is it?”

Estella nodded.

“Ah, then your husband is James Lawford, the solicitor.”

“That’s right.” Estella brightened. She was relieved she wasn’t going mad after all.

“This was his office. I had the office across the hall before moving in here.”

“Oh! Where is my husband, Mr. Cook? Have you swapped offices?”

Mr. Cook looked uncomfortable. “No, Mrs. Lawford. Your husband no longer has an office in the building.”

Estella was taken back. “Are you telling me he relocated his office to another building?”

“I presume so.”

“Why did he move?”

Mr. Cook glanced at his shoes and then back at Estella. “I believe it was an …economic decision.”

“Oh.” Estella thought he meant James had found a bigger, better office. He had been talking about wanting to work in a more modern building. “Do you have any idea where his new office is, Mr. Cook?”

“I’m afraid he left no forwarding address, Mrs. Lawford.” Just several unpaid bills! Mr. Cook could see that Estella was completely bewildered. He glanced at the picnic basket she was holding, and his expression softened. “Perhaps he told you, and it just slipped your mind? I forget things all the time.”

“I can’t believe I’d forget something so important, but then my physician just told me being forgetful is normal for someone in my condition.”

Mr. Cook glanced at Edwina, who whispered, “She’s expecting.”

Estella looked into Mr. Cook’s kindly face and understood that he was trying to save her from embarrassment, but it was too late for that. She’d never felt so humiliated in her whole life. “I feel so silly.” She turned and walked to the door. “I’m sorry to have bothered you.”

“It was no bother, Mrs. Lawford,” Mr. Cook said, following her into the hallway.

“How long ago did you say you took over this office?” Estella asked in a small voice, trying to make sense out of what he’d told her.

Mr. Cook popped his head back in the office to confer with his secretary. “It’s actually been more than a month, hasn’t it, Edwina?”

“Five weeks tomorrow,” Edwina said in a voice muffled by a mouthful of corned beef sandwich.

Thoroughly confused, Estella turned away in a daze.

Out in the bright sunshine, Estella stopped to glance at the entryway of the building, where the inscription Edmund Foley — 1785, was set in stone. She hadn’t doubted Mr. Cook, but she needed to see for herself that she hadn’t made a mistake. Obviously, James had moved offices, but why hadn’t he told her? He left for work every morning at the same time and returned at night between six and seven o’clock, depending on the amount of work he had to do--or claimed he had to do. He was usually exhausted, so after eating dinner, he went straight to bed. Estella didn’t know what to think. Surely, she couldn’t have forgotten something as important as her husband moving office? Then again, she had been unusually tired and forgetful lately, and it wasn’t until today that she understood why. Thinking of the baby, she smiled, but her smile quickly faded. “Oh, no,” she said aloud, realising she wouldn’t be able to tell James about the baby until he came home that evening. She knew she was being ridiculous, but she felt devastated and so alone. Her tumultuous emotions got the better of her, and again her eyes filled with tears.

“Oh, for goodness sake,” she grumbled, impatiently wiping the tears away. “I don’t think I can put up with being a blubbering jellyfish much longer.” She glanced at the picnic basket and decided she’d have lunch alone in the park. At least she’d have the pigeons for company. Then she’d shop for something for the baby. That would lift her spirits.

Estella crossed the street, deep in contemplation about her state of mind and health. She didn’t even hear the driver of an Austin A30 whistling at her, or Big Ben chiming the hour of twelve o’clock. As she approached the Grosvenor Hotel, she was still wondering how she could have forgotten James moving his office, but had to admit that she had been preoccupied ever since she’d suspected she was pregnant. James had even commented on her forgetfulness, but she hadn’t told him she might be pregnant. She’d been too afraid of his reaction.

Suddenly Estella bumped into a heavily pregnant woman. She apologised profusely, and the woman smiled kindly and went on her way, giving Estella a clear view of her husband as he came out of the Grosvenor Hotel and hailed a cab. She was confused by his slightly ruffled appearance and presence at the hotel, when her cousin, Davinia, joined him at the curb. “Oh!” Estella said to herself. “James must have run into Davinia.” It was obviously a coincidence, as he hadn’t mentioned an appointment with her cousin--or had he? She immediately sympathised with him, as Davinia could be quite melodramatic, although men didn’t seem to notice. She’d always been a needy woman, but since losing her thirdhusband, even the most patient and understanding person soon tired of her. She’d latch onto anyone in the pretence of needing advice or assistance, when in reality she was about as helpless as a barracuda. Estella knew James would be easy prey because he was so gallant. He’d always been popular with women, attentive and suave, and women found him charming, but Estella was confident that he was completely devoted. She continued on towards them, warmed by the notion that she’d never had any reason to be jealous, when suddenly James took Davinia in his arms.

Estella stopped and gaped in astonishment as her husband gave her cousin a lingering, passionate kiss on the mouth in full view of the lunchtime crowd on Grosvenor Square. She went faint with humiliation as she witnessed the intimate exchange of ardent glances, and the possessive way James held Davinia close and tenderly caressed her cheek with the back of his hand. It was obvious they were completely unaware of passers-by, whispering and staring, and certainly of Estella, not more than twenty feet away. They were locked in their own world, one Estella had believed with all her heart that she had the exclusive rights to.

Estella’s heart was thudding painfully as she watched Davinia climb into a cab and smile at James lovingly through the rear window, her coiffure of blond hair framing her traitorous face. Tears welled in Estella’s eyes as James stood on the pavement watching the cab make its way into the stream of London traffic, as if he couldn’t bear to tear himself away. Estella wanted to turn and flee, but her legs felt like lead weights. Even more, she wanted to wipe the last few moments from her mind forever and go back to a time before she was aware of her husband’s betrayal. She thought of the baby, and her heart almost broke, the agony indescribable. “How could you, James?” she whispered, becoming furious that he would openly display affection for another woman in public. Her hand went to her tummy as tears streamed down her face. She whispered, “Why? I need you, now more than ever.” Her despair suddenly turned to anger.

Wearing the look of a man satiated with love, James watched Davinia’s cab pull out behind a red double-decker bus and follow the traffic towards Park Lane. Estella approached him and silently stood next to him, shaking with fury. When he realised someone was beside him, James turned. “Estella!” The colour drained from his face, and Estella read his mind. He knew from the expression on her face that she had witnessed his touching farewell with his lover.

“So you remember me--Estella Lawford--your wife of less than a year.” She faced him squarely. “I can’t claim to be long-suffering, since until a moment ago I had no idea my beloved husband was publicly carrying on an affair with my superficial, bird-brained cousin, whose husband is not yet cold in his grave.” Much to James’s alarm, Estella’s voice had risen to a pitch that was attracting the attention of other hotel guests awaiting cabs. He tried to take her arm and move her away, but she wouldn’t budge. “Can we go somewhere and talk about this like civilised people, Estella?”

“A moment ago you didn’t have a problem with your affair being so public. How could you humiliate me like this? I’ve just been to your office, and I looked like a damned fool when I found out you no longer worked there, that you haven’t worked there for nearly five weeks.”

Embarrassed and guilty, James dropped his gaze to the ground. “I was going to tell you …”.

“Oh, really? And here I was chastising myself because I’d forgotten. Were you also going to tell me about your affair with my cousin?”

“Estella, please keep your voice down,” James hissed. “Why should I?”

“Let’s go home and talk.”

“Don’t tell me there’s more. I would have thought ….” Estella tried to stifle the sob rising in her throat, threatening to choke her. She was dismayed that she had no control over her emotions. She didn’t want to fall to pieces in front of James, not after seeing him with her cousin. She had too much pride for that. Suddenly she noticed a gaudy coloured lipstick smudge on the corner of his mouth. It was something small, but significant enough to make his affair all the more real. She became so enraged that she slapped James across the face. “Couldn’t you keep your passionate kisses and tender embraces in the hotel room? Did you have to bring your shame out onto the street?”

Estella turned away, blinded by tears and hardly able to catch her breath. It wasn’t a moment too soon for the humiliated James, who had noticed some of their society friends on the other side of the square.

James followed Estella, taking her by the elbow when she stumbled into someone coming from the opposite direction. She shrugged him off and turned to glare at him. “Don’t touch me,” she shrieked, attracting more attention. “Don’t ever touch me again.”

Estella went on, and James thought it best to keep a discreet distance. He knew he was being cowardly, but as a solicitor, even one temporarily out of work, his reputation of integrity was of the utmost importance.

James watched his wife enter Hyde Park as he followed her. He was concerned for her state of mind, but knew Estella was normally a level-headed woman. He was fairly confident that she wouldn’t do something as foolish as throwing herself into The Serpentine--at least he hoped not, as he didn’t want to fish her out of the lake wearing one of his best suits. He had it in his mind that he must settle things once and for all. He certainly couldn’t go on in the manner he had been, not if he didn’t want white hair before he was thirty.

Upon entering the park in the northeast corner, near Marble Arch, Estella felt like vomiting. She didn’t know whether it was morning sickness or the fact that her husband was having an affair with her cousin, but it hardly mattered. All she could think about was protecting the baby. She walked along a path in a southerly direction towards the statue of Achilles, stopping to hand a homeless vagrant the hamper she’d put together with so much care. When the elderly man glanced into the hamper, and Estella saw the look of delight on his grubby face, the irony hit home. His reaction was what she’d been hoping for from her husband when she surprised him with a picnic lunch and the news of her pregnancy.

Estella found a bench facing the lake and sat down, forcing herself to take deep, steadying breaths. For the sake of the baby, she tried to calm herself. She kept reminding herself that the baby was the most important thing in her life. She’d walked quickly, and her heart was racing, but the worst of her anger had abated from the sheer physical exertion, putting her in a state of numbness. She hadn’t realised how badly her legs were shaking until she sat down, and they seemed to turn to jelly. The sun was warm, but she was shivering and wrapped her arms about herself.

“Estella,” James said sheepishly from behind her. “I know you are in shock, but we must talk.” He placed his jacket around her shoulders.

For a moment Estella glared at him, and his heart almost broke at the betrayed expression in her vivid green eyes. He could admit he was selfish, but he wasn’t completely heartless.

“Talk! I should divorce you,” Estella said, her heart racing again while fresh tears flowed down her cheeks.

James sat down on the far end of the bench. His distance made him seem cold and unfeeling, and it hurt Estella even more. When he held out his handkerchief for her, she took it, thinking how young he looked for a man of twenty-eight years. He was certainly behaving like an adolescent boy caught doing something naughty, instead of a man who had committed adultery. She was in no mood to appreciate the fact that he was still the most handsome man she knew.

“A divorce would be best,” he said quietly, raking long fingers through his dark hair.

Estella was flabbergasted. She couldn’t believe he wasn’t even going to fight to save their marriage. Would he feel any different if he knew about the baby? But she was certain she didn’t want him to stay with her out of a sense of obligation. “I’ll see a lawyer first thing in the morning,” she said, hoping to shock him to his senses, or at least make him remorseful and despairing at the prospect of losing her.

“That would just be a formality,” James said, startling Estella even more.

“What’s going on, James? Surely you don’t …you couldn’t love Davinia. She’s family, so I’m obliged to care for her, but the woman is as dizzy as a carousel and, frankly, quite neurotic. She’s also almost ten years older than you.”

“The age difference isn’t important to us,” James said defensively.

“Us!” Estella said, aghast, her hand fluttering up to her chest. “You and Davinia are an us?” She shook her head in dismay. Fooling around with her cousin was bad enough, but to think that James actually had real feelings for her tore Estella’s heart out. “Do I have to remind you that Warwick was her third husband, and I’m sure he’d have divorced her by now if he hadn’t died of heart failure before he had the chance.” Her first two husbands had been elderly, so their demise hadn’t been a shock, but Warwick had only been in his late forties. It seemed Davinia had a knack for picking wealthy husbands with weak hearts. If all James was saying was true, he didn’t fit the mould.

“He left Davinia a very rich woman,” James said quietly.

“He may have, but,” James turned to look at her, and suddenly Estella noticed the cold, almost calculating look in his blue eyes. She’d never seen it before, and her eyes widened when she realised just what he was implying.

“I’m broke, Estella,” he said, as if reading her mind.

Her mouth dropped open. That was the last thing she had been expecting him to say, but she was certain it couldn’t be right. She wondered what he was up to.

“I can see you don’t believe me, but it’s true. We have no money, so if you are thinking of retaining an expensive lawyer, it will only end up putting us in more debt, and God knows we’ve got enough of that.”

“You can’t expect me to believe that! You work such long hours, and your practise is successful.”

“Why do you think I moved out of the Edmund Foley Building?”

“I thought you wanted a bigger, better office …” James flushed. “It was because I couldn’t afford the exorbitant rent on the office I had. And I certainly don’t make enough to keep a house in Mayfair and live the life we do. Entertaining rich friends is costly.”

“Then why didn’t you say something a long time ago? I don’t need to live like the Wexford-Smiths or the Wynstan-Powers. I’d be just as happy with a simple life.”

“I need to live like that, Estella.” James dropped his head and looked sheepish again. “I could have the kind of life I want with Davinia.”

Estella stared at her husband, wondering how she could have been married to a man for nearly a year, when she didn’t know him at all. “Are you telling me you want a divorce, so that you can marry her?” Estella was sure James would say no. The very idea was madness.

“Yes, it’s best.”

Estella gasped. “Best for whom? I love you, James. My God, we’ve been discussing having a baby.” It was on the tip of her tongue to say they were having a baby.

“You’ve been discussing it, Estella. A child wouldn’t fit into the life I want. You know I’ve been careful.”

Estella was dumbfounded, and fresh tears filled her eyes. She couldn’t believe James didn’t want the baby she was carrying. She wanted to shout, “You weren’t careful enough!” Her protective instincts were aroused, and her hand went to her tummy. “Why did you marry me, James?”

“I loved you, Estella.”

“Loved me!”

“I still do, but not enough to live like a pauper. You know I enjoy society parties. It’s where I make contacts for work. I’m sorry, but that’s who I am, and Davinia knows all the right people.”

Estella couldn’t follow his logic. Nothing he was saying made sense. He was still her husband and the father of the baby she was carrying, even if he didn’t want either of them.

“If we were struggling, why didn’t you tell me? You didn’t have to sell your soul to the likes of Davinia. I could have worked. Have you forgotten I’m a qualified veterinarian?” She hadn’t practised a day since getting her degree at the University of Edinburgh, but that was because James hadn’t wanted her to.

“You wouldn’t earn enough to make a difference, Estella, and if you had worked, our friends would think I wasn’t successful.”

Suddenly Estella felt exasperated with his vanity. “Surely that would be better than going broke. What are those so-called friends going to think now?” James didn’t reply. He had to concentrate on himself and his future. He would worry about them later. Estella had known that James didn’t want her to work. Blinded by his charm and need to be respected, she’d understood enough to put her ambitions aside in the hopes of having a baby, but she didn’t understand anything else he was telling her. “What of your inheritance?”

“It’s gone.” James dropped his head again.

Estella’s eyes widened. “What! All of it?”

“I’ve cashed in the investments my father left me and heavily mortgaged the house. I can’t keep up the repayments, so the bank is going to take it.”

Tears welled again in Estella’s eyes, and she buried her face in his handkerchief. Her world was falling apart. It was all too much to take in at once, especially in her emotional, vulnerable state.

“Please don’t cry, Estella. I thought I could earn enough to keep the house and the life we have, but there’s not enough business coming my way for the type of life I want.”

“‘I want’? All I’m hearing is what you want. Frankly, James, you are sounding very selfish.” Estella pulled away and studied the man in front of her. Suddenly she couldn’t see James as a father at all. He was too immature.

James turned away from her.

“I suppose that moving to a smaller house in a less affluent suburb is out of the question?” Estella asked.

“I’m afraid so.”

Estella shook her head again. She couldn’t believe James was being so self-centred. “What am I supposed to do, or don’t you care, as I don’t seem to fit into your perfectly planned future?”

“Of course I care, Estella. I’ve thought about it. You could go out to Southern Rhodesia to your parents. They claim the lifestyle there is wonderful. Or you could live with your Aunt Florence in Chelsea. I’m sure you could support yourself as a veterinarian.”

It’s not just me, James. There’s a baby to think about, Estella thought bitterly.

“We’ll sell the furniture in the house, of course, and your jewellery, but as I said, we have debts, large debts, so I doubt there’ll be anything left.”

God, it’s getting worse by the minute, Estella thought.I’m going to be alone and penniless, as well as pregnant. “Where will you live and work?” Estella wasn’t asking because she cared--it was too late for that. She just wanted to see how detailed his plans were for his future life with her cousin.

“Warwick owned an office block on Belgrave Square. It’s in a prime location and built after the war, so it’s modern, and Davinia has that big house on Eaton Square.”

Estella’s bottom lip quivered with anger. “My God, James,” she said. “I never thought you were so shallow.”

“Well, there you have it. I am shallow and selfish, and I admit it. What’s more, Davinia has been lending me money for weeks now. She doesn’t want the money back as long as I marry her, so I’m afraid we must start divorce proceedings straight away. I hope you’ll make this easy, Estella. There’s no reason to stall things, is there?”

Estella looked at him. Only our baby, James, but frankly you are not good enough to be my child’s father. She shook her head.

This was it. She had been betrayed. There was nothing left to say. So Estella turned away from James and gazed across the lake towards Rotten Row, where several riders were taking advantage of the beautiful afternoon and galloping their mounts. There were only a handful of days in England when the sky was cloud-free and a vivid blue, so it seemed wrong that the day her life fell apart was so beautiful. It should have been raining and grey to suit her mood and circumstances--miserable and desolate. Again, she thought of the baby. This should have been one of the happiest days in her marriage.

Through her tears, she saw the lake glistening in the sunlight. Nannies were tending to babies in prams; dog owners or their servants were walking their well-groomed pets. Lovers strolled across the lawns, hand in hand; ducks and swans bobbed on the water. On such a lovely day it was a typical scene, but Estella felt like the bottom had dropped out of her normal world. Again, she thought of the baby, perhaps a sweet little girl. It’s just you and me now, little one, but we’ll be all right. I promise.

Estella stood up and handed James his jacket without looking at him. “I’m going home to pack a few things. Any papers you want signed send to Aunt Flo’s.” She swallowed the lump in her throat, and glared at her husband. “Goodbye,” she said rigidly, before turning to walk away.

James knew he had been cold and calculating, but he felt he’d made the right decision. He hadn’t, however, anticipated how much of a fiend he’d feel. “Please, wait, Estella.”

Estella stopped and pivoted slowly to the stranger her husband had become.

“I know I’ve hurt you,” James said. “I’m sorry. Really.”

His apology sounded thoroughly inadequate and pathetic to Estella. “I’m sorry, too, James. Sorry you are so short-sighted and have such little depth of character. I don’t know how I could have made the mistake of thinking you were a decent human being.” She felt sad for him because his selfishness meant he was going to miss out on something far more precious than money and society parties.

Without further hesitation, Estella walked away. It took all her willpower not to collapse and sob her heart out. Instead she pulled her shoulders back and held her head up proudly, confident that she’d never lay eyes on James Lawford again, and certain that her baby was better off without him.

CHAPTER 2

By the time Estella reached her aunt’s house in Chelsea, she was sobbing uncontrollably. She’d already been home to pack her clothes: a stately nineteenth-century stone columned affair in Belgravia’s Grosvenor Estate. But memories of the last year had overwhelmed her, and she couldn’t help mourning the death of her hopes and dreams. As the reality of her new life sank in, Estella considered the tragedy of her situation. She was homeless, penniless, and pregnant. As far as she was concerned, things couldn’t get any worse.

When the taxi drew up to her home, Aunt Florence was sitting by her bay window, crocheting a fringed doily and listening to her old gramophone, which she preferred to modern record players. She enjoyed her hour of relaxation in the afternoons when she loosened her wrap-on corset and put her feet up. Her chores were done, and dinner was underway. She used to spend the time sitting with her mother talking about days gone by, but her mother had passed away the previous winter after a bad bout of pneumonia. Now there were just three full-time boarders to take care of--two students at London’s School of Dramatic Art and a retired chimney sweep.

Aunt Florence saw Estella alight from the taxi and was waiting to greet her as she ascended the steps to the front door. Estella’s eyes were red. Tears streamed down her face. The flustered taxi driver approached from behind with a suitcase and an overnight bag, which he deposited inside the vestibule before hurrying away.

“Estella, what is the matter?” Florence asked, glancing at the cases, as she took her niece in her arms.

“My marriage is over,” Estella said between wracking sobs.

Florence couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Oh, my goodness. Come into the kitchen,” she said. “I’ll make some cocoa.”

After two cups of hot cocoa with marshmallows, Estella had calmed down enough to tell her aunt what had happened. Everything about James, Davinia, and the divorce. “I can’t believe it,” Aunt Florence said. “I was never fond of Davinia, but, then, of course, her mother, Anthea, is nothing like Marcus.”

Marcus was Estella’s stepfather and Anthea was his sister. In Florence’s mind, this explained why Estella and her cousin were nothing alike.

Aunt Florence looked at her forlorn niece. “I’m so sorry this happened, Estella, but perhaps it’s just as well that it’s now, and not ten years down the line, when there could have been children to consider. James is an utter fool; I have no idea what he could be thinking--or if he’s thinking at all with his head and not with what’s in his trousers. But you are young and beautiful--you can start again.”

A fresh wave of tears poured down Estella’s cheeks. “I’m pregnant, Aunt Flo.”

Florence gasped and clutched at her chest. “For the love of Moses!” She leaned over the table and glanced at Estella’s slim waistline. “Are you sure?”

Estella nodded. “Dr. Blake confirmed it this morning. Then I went to James’s office, only to find he wasn’t there anymore. I was heading for Hyde Park to have lunch alone, when I saw him. Kissing Davinia.”

“For heaven’s sake.” Florence pursed her lips. “What did he say when you told him about the baby?”

“I didn’t. And I’m not going to, ever.”

Florence straightened up. “Estella, you can’t hide a baby from James. London may be a big city, but he’ll find out sooner or later, mark my words.”

“He doesn’t have to.”

It was history repeating itself, Florence thought, as she sat back in her chair. She’d had the same conversation with Estella’s mother, Caroline, when she’d returned from Australia almost twenty-six years ago, pregnant with Estella. Caroline hadn’t wanted to tell Ross, Estella’s father, especially not after meeting Marcus Wordsworth. But Ross was Florence’s brother, and Florence insisted he had a right to know. It changed nothing, however. Marcus raised Estella as his own, and Ross never met his beautiful daughter.

“Are you considering going out to Rhodesia?”

“No. Mother and Father are returning soon to enrol Barnaby in university.”

“That’s right. I’d forgotten. Caroline wrote and told me that your brother had finished grammar school, and he wanted to study engineering. He’s turning out so like Marcus. They both love building things. As a matter of fact, with the building trade apparently booming in Rhodesia, I’m surprised Marcus is willing to come back.”

“They only plan to stay long enough to settle Barnaby in whichever university he’s accepted into, probably Oxford or Cambridge, and then they’re returning to Rhodesia.”

“You should be with your mother at a time like this, Estella. Why not go back with them?”

“They won’t be here for weeks, and then they’ll want to stay for at least two months, and I can’t wait that long to get out of town. My condition will be obvious by then. If James rushes the divorce through, which I’m sure he will, he’ll either be married to Davinia, or planning the wedding, and I’ll be the laughing stock of London.”

“It’s my guess that he’ll open his eyes one morning, look at what’s beside him, and kick himself.”

“Well, it’ll be too late for regrets. He’s shown me his true character. I must get away, Aunt Flo, and soon. I’m adamant that James must never find out about our child.” Estella saw the dismay in her aunt’s features. “Don’t look at me that way, Aunt Flo. He actually told me a baby wouldn’t fit into his life, so he doesn’t deserve to that know she or he exists.”

“He’s a selfish man,” Aunt Florence said, helping herself to another scone with cream and jam, which Estella couldn’t be tempted to eat. The delicious aroma of roasting meat pervaded the kitchen, but Estella couldn’t think about food.

“Where will I go, Aunt Flo? How will I support my child?” Estella dissolved into tears again.

“There, there, dear. You said James was no longer at his office, so I imagine he moved to more opulent premises. He must make good money, and he’ll have to support you, Estella, so you’ll be all right.”

“He claims he moved out of Grosvenor Square because he couldn’t afford the rent, and apparently the bank is repossessing our house in the Grosvenor Estate. We’re broke, Aunt Flo. He even said he’s been borrowing money from Davinia.”

For the countless time during their conversation, Florence was astonished. “You know you can stay here for as long as you want. I’ve never rented Mother’s room.”

Estella’s grandmother had lived with Florence until she died. Florence had been thinking about selling and moving to somewhere like Devon to open a bed and breakfast on a smaller scale, but she’d put her plans on hold if Estella needed her. “I couldn’t. James’s grandparents live right around the corner on Fulham Road, and his youngest sister lives on Oakley Street.”

“Perhaps you could get a job as a veterinarian somewhere in the country?”

“I don’t think I’d feel safe anywhere in the British Isles. James comes from a large family, and they’re spread everywhere. He has cousins in Liverpool, Leeds, as far north as Newcastle, and even in Scotland. I’ll have to go farther away, but where? Where can I start a new life with my baby?” Estella put her head down on the table and cried again.

“You mustn’t get so upset, Estella,” Florence reached over to stroke her niece’s hair. “It’s not good for you, or the baby.”

Florence stood up and went to the sink with their dirty cups, cursing the painful rheumatism in her elbows and knees. She always smelt faintly of the paraffin oil she rubbed her joints with. Summer was the only season she had any relief, but come autumn, the pain began again, and it was early this year. She glanced up at the sky, where clouds were gathering in the west. At least she knew when it was going to rain.

Staring out the window at her small garden and vegetable patch, Florence began to think about Estella’s mother, Caroline. They’d been friends since they were girls, and she’d missed her terribly since Caroline went off to Africa with Marcus. They left after the war, when Estella was settled into the University of Edinburgh, returned briefly for her graduation more than a year ago, and stayed for Estella’s wedding. She thought about the promise she’d made Caroline when Estella had been born. She’d kept it all these years, but was it time to tell Estella the truth?

“Estella,” Florence said, taking a seat opposite her niece again. “Listen to me for a minute.”

Estella lifted her head. Her cheeks were smudged, and her eyes red from crying, reminding Florence of when she’d been a little girl. Estella had always referred to Florence as ‘aunt’, even before she’d found out that they were, indeed, blood relatives through Estella’s birth father. This had made Florence feel special, as no other friends of Caroline had received the same privilege. However, she held Estella in even higher regard. Flo had never married or had children, so Estella was like a surrogate daughter to her.

“What is it?” Estella asked, thinking her aunt looked troubled.

“A long time ago, when you were just a baby, I made your mother a solemn promise. As you know, your mother and I have been friends since we were little girls.”

“I know, Aunt Flo, Mother told me. Did the promise you made have anything to do with me?” Estella was sure that was the only reason her aunt would bring it up.

“Yes. I vowed I would never discuss your father with you.”

Estella looked confused.

“I’m talking about your real father. My brother, Ross. I had to promise. It was the only way your mother would let me stay in her life and be part of yours.”

Estella couldn’t believe her mother would insist upon such a vow. She’d learned Marcus Wordsworth wasn’t her real father when she was about ten years old. She’d found her parents’ wedding certificate and noticed they’d married just weeks before she was born, which forced her mother to explain that she’d been married before. But her mother wouldn’t talk about the man who was her biological father. When she thought about it, Aunt Florence had never said much about him, either. Now she knew why.

“I don’t understand why Mother would insist upon such a thing.”

“I do, Estella. She was afraid.”

“Afraid of what?”

“That you’d become curious enough to insist that you meet your real father, afraid that Marcus would be hurt. She was pregnant with you when she met him, and she was overwhelmed by his generous offer of marriage and the fact that he wanted to raise you as his own, which, to his credit, he did. She thought it was an unselfish act, but to be honest, I thought it was quite the opposite. You’ve been robbed of ever knowing your real father, and as wonderful as Marcus is, Ross was a man worth knowing. It hurt him deeply that he never met you.”

“Why hasn’t he ever come to see me?”

Florence’s homely face crumpled with sadness. There was no chance now that they’d ever meet. “He wanted to, but he didn’t want to unsettle you or hurt your mother. To be honest, he never got over the fact that she left him. He always believed she’d return, but when she asked for a divorce so that she could marry Marcus, it destroyed him. I’m not blaming your mother, Estella. She couldn’t live in outback Australia. The isolation isn’t for everyone. However, I’m going to break the vow I made when you were born. You are a grown woman, so there are some things you should know, things that might help you in your time of need.”

“What sort of things?”

“It’s best I start at the beginning, and tell you how your parents came to be together,” Florence let out a long exhale. “As I said, your mother and I have been friends all of our lives. We were neighbours on Whitehall Street, which is not far from here, so of course we went to the same school. Ross was a couple of years older than I was, but he and your mother didn’t get on at all when they were young. Things didn’t change until after the First World War. Ross had just finished school when war broke out. He was intelligent, and Father had wanted him to go to university, but the war put an end to that plan. He worked in an ammunition factory until he was sixteen, then he lied about his age and enlisted in the army. Soon after, he was sent to France. When he returned, he was grown up, and a very handsome man. He and your mother saw each other in a new light and fell in love. He’d been working with horses in the army, so he decided to go to university to study veterinary science. In 1924, after getting his degree at the University of Edinburgh, he and your mother married. Soon after, he answered an advertisement for a veterinary position in Australia. Did you know he was a veterinarian?”

“I didn’t know until I graduated from university, and Mother let it slip. Because she never mentioned him at all, it was a surprise.”

“Yes, your mother was delighted when you wanted to study medicine,” Florence said.

“Not when she found out I had chosen to do a veterinary science course.”

“She shouldn’t have been surprised. During the war you brought all the stray animals you could find into your bomb shelter.”

For the first time since Estella’s arrival, she smiled. “I’m sorry to tell you this, Estella,” Florance paused. “But your father, Ross, died a few months ago.”

Estella looked startled. She didn’t know what to think or how to feel. “Did he?”

“Yes. Apparently, he was knocked into a fence by a brumby. You’d call that a wild horse. He hurt his arm and shoulder badly, and they think a blood clot travelled to his heart.”

Estella reached out and put her hand over her aunt’s. “I didn’t know him, but I’m sorry.”

“Thank you, dear. He didn’t write often, and we hadn’t seen each other for years, but I still miss him because I know he’s no longer out there somewhere. He was a lovely man. He had that mischievous twinkle in his eye and a wicked sense of humour, which always got him in trouble.”

“Does Mother know?”

“No. I’ll wait until she comes back, and we have a private moment.”

Estella had only ever been mildly curious about her real father, but she could see that it helped Aunt Florence to talk about her loss. “You have another brother, don’t you, Aunt Flo?”

“Yes, my youngest brother, your Uncle Charlie. Talk about a character. He’s as mad as a March hare.”

“Where is he?”

“He still lives in Kangaroo Crossing, where your dad lived.” Florence knew Charlie had been a terror for the drink and the women when he was young. By now he was close to fifty years old, and it seemed he still hadn’t settled enough to take a wife. He’d mentioned a woman, and Florence was under the impression she was a native woman. “Oh! Mother did tell me that my …that Ross lived in Australia. She made it sound like a terrible place, on the other side of the world.”

Florence understood that Estella had trouble relating to Ross Cooper as her real father. “Your mother couldn’t take living there, which is probably why she described it as a terrible place. As a young bride, it was too much change for her. And a long way from London society, where she was content. Charlie’s happy there, and I know Ross loved the place, so it can’t be too bad.”

“How did Uncle Charlie come to be there, too?”

“He wasn’t having much luck with work in England, so he followed Ross and Caroline out to Australia. I gather he worked in the local pub for a while before becoming the publican. From what Ross and Charlie told me, Kangaroo Crossing is in the centre of Australia, twelve thousand miles from here. Which brings me to the reason I’m sharing this with you.”

Estella stared at her aunt. She didn’t understand.

“As I said, your father died a few months ago. After his death, your Uncle Charlie wrote and asked if you would consider taking your father’s place as the town veterinarian.”

Estella’s eyes widened.

“I’d told Charlie and Ross about you becoming a vet. Your father was as proud as punch, and so was Charlie.”

“Really?”

“Oh, yes. Ross had a house, so I suppose it’s sitting empty, and Charlie has no use for all his tools and instruments, so they’d still be there. Under the circumstances, I was thinking it would be a wonderful opportunity for you.”

“You said Ross had been dead for months. Why didn’t you tell me about this before?”

“I thought about it, but I’d made that vow to your mother, and over the years I’ve done my best to keep it. Besides, I knew James would never leave his practise, and I truly believed you were happy.”

Estella began to cry again. “So did I,” she sobbed.

Florence offered her a dry handkerchief and asked again. “What do you think about going to Australia, Estella?”

Estella sniffed and dabbed her tears. “I don’t know. You said the letter came months ago, so maybe the townsfolk in Kangaroo Crossing have employed another vet.”

“That is possible.” Florence had an idea. “Why don’t you have a lie-down for a while? You look exhausted.”

Estella nodded. “I am tired, too tired to think straight.”

“Go on up, then. If you aren’t up in a couple of hours, I’ll give you a call.”

Florence had it in mind to ring Charlie as soon as Estella was asleep. It would be early evening in Kangaroo Crossing, and Charlie would be in the bar.

Two hours later, Estella came down the stairs to find her aunt beaming, as she cut up the roast joint. “There you are. I rang Charlie,” Aunt Florence said, slipping a small piece of beef into her mouth.

“Did you?”

“Yes, and he said they haven’t replaced your father yet, and he’d be delighted if you’d take the position of town veterinarian.” The line had been so full of static that Florence had hardly been able to hear what Charlie had said, especially with rowdy hotel patrons in the background, but she thought she had the gist of the conversation, so she took the liberty of filling in the bits she missed.

“Did you tell him that I’m pregnant?”

“Yes. He said that shouldn’t be a problem.” Charlie had actually said he wouldn’t tell anyone until after Estella had arrived. He had told Florence some time ago that the townsfolk were “dirty on Caroline for leaving Ross the way she did,”as he put it, so Florence gathered he wasn’t going to tell them exactly who Estella was.

“There is a house, fully furnished, and one room is set up as a consultation room.” Charlie had said the house needed a good clean, but he’d see it got done. “All your father’s instruments are there. You just need to get yourself there.”

Estella looked dismayed. She remembered she had no money for the trip, a position she thought she’d never find herself in.

Florence read the concern on her face. “I have a little something put away, enough to pay your fare.”

“I couldn’t take your money, Aunt Flo.”

“Don’t worry about it. Charlie said I’d be reimbursed.” Another embellishment, Florence thought, that Estella needn’t worry about. Still a little drowsy, Estella sat down at the kitchen table. “What do you think?” her aunt asked excitedly. “It sounds like just what you wanted, doesn’t it?” It had been Florence’s dream that Estella would one day know her real father. She had hoped Estella would meet Ross, and although it was too late for that, she thought she would come to know what he’d been like by living in the place he loved, and working with the people who meant so much to him. She just hoped Caroline would forgive her.

“It is, but, Aunt Flo, I’ve not practised since I became qualified. I’d have to read so much to refresh my memory.”

“You were a bright student, Estella. You passed your exams with honours as I remember, so I’m sure it would all come back quickly.”

“I suppose so. And if Kangaroo Crossing is just a small town, I doubt I’d be working that hard.” She imagined a few local children bringing in their pets or the odd horse that needed attention.

“That’s most likely true.” Aunt Florence encouraged, although she had no real idea about what Ross used to do, as he rarely mentioned his work. His infrequent letters had been about the town, the people, the wildlife, and about how much he loved the open spaces in Australia.

“By the time the baby arrived, I’d probably have things well under control, and he or she could stay with me in the surgery, because it’s in the house.” Estella pondered, looking into her aunt’s bright eyes. “It sounds like it will be perfect,” she said, with just a hint of trepidation. Besides, she really had no other choice.

CHAPTER 3

Parafield, Australia