The Christian Homemaker's Handbook E-Book

Pat Ennis

• Herausgeber: Crossway
• Kategorie: Religion und Spiritualität
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 909

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2013

Beschreibung

This one-stop reference tool gives you tips and training on everything from meal planning to interior decorating, biblical womanhood to budgeting, so that you can become a holistic homemaker! It features practical teaching from Scripture, instructions for do-it-yourself projects, application questions, helpful resources, a comprehensive index, and more. With nearly 50 years of marriage experience, 30 years of college-level home economics instruction, and a commitment to biblical womanhood, the editors of The Christian Homemaker's Handbook have compiled the comprehensive manual for today's woman and her home.

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“The number one question Christian women are asking today is, ‘where are the older women?’ Singles, wives, and moms want to know God’s plan for them and are looking for help with how to live it out. Here, in one priceless volume, is instruction from the Bible and practical guidance from women who know how to make God’s teachings a daily reality. From time and life management skills, to building better relationships and much more, every chapter points women toward honoring and pleasing God while blessing others.”

Elizabeth George, Jim & Elizabeth George Ministries

“Characterized by distinctive, if not countercultural, ideas for our twenty-first-century world, readers will discover in this new resource a most interesting collection of thoughtful essays on the important subjects of home and hospitality, as well as spiritual and personal health. The contributions found in this volume will be helpful for individuals, groups, and churches. This handbook will be one that many will want to keep on hand.”

David and Lanese Dockery, President and First Lady, Trinity International University

“One of the great scandals of the last several decades has been the popular scorn heaped on the home economy, and particularly the homemaker. All the same, even in 2013 and after fifty years of feminist complaints, half of all economic activity in America still occurs in homes—and the most important half by far. In The Christian Homemaker’s Handbook, Pat Ennis and Dorothy Patterson provide a lively, cogent, and practical guide for women seeking to understand and fulfill their ‘God-assigned prioirities.’ The authors correctly affirm that God’s design for the home, as laid out in Genesis, has not changed and that young women will find the fullest meaning and the greatest happiness in their bonds to husbands and children and in their commitments to home-building. The book also properly emphasizes the importance of hospitality, a welcoming spirit, and a gracious heart to the vital Christian home.”

Allan C. Carlson, President Emeritus, The Howard Center for Family, Religion and Society; Founder, World Congress of Families; John Howard Senior Fellow, International Organization for the Family

The Christian Homemaker’s Handbook

Copyright © 2013 by Patricia Ann Ennis and Dorothy Kelley Patterson

Published by Crossway

1300 Crescent Street Wheaton, Illinois 60187

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher, except as provided for by USA copyright law. Crossway® is a registered trademark in the United States of America.

Cover design: Connie GabbertCover image: iStockInterior design: Kevin Lipp

First printing 2013Printed in the United States of America

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. 2011 Text Edition. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked KJV are from the King James Version of the Bible.

Scripture references marked NASB are taken from The New American Standard Bible®. Copyright © The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995. Used by permission.

Scripture references marked NLT are taken from The Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL, 60189. All rights reserved.

All emphases in Scripture quotations have been added by the authors.

Trade paperback ISBN: 978-1-4335-2838-5 PDF ISBN: 978-1-4335-2839-2 Mobipocket ISBN: 978-1-4335-2840-8 ePub ISBN: 978-1-4335-2841-5

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

The Christian homemaker’s handbook / [edited by] Pat Ennis and Dorothy Kelley Patterson.

     pages cm

ISBN 978-1-4335-2838-5 (tp)

ISBN 978-1-4335-2839-2 (pdf)'

ISBN 978-1-4335-2840-8 (mobipocket)

ISBN 978-1-4335-2841-5 (epub)

1. Home economics—Religious aspects—Christianity. 2. Christian women—Conduct of life. 3. Home—Religious aspects—Christianity. I. Ennis, Pat, editor of compilation. II. Patterson, Dorothy Kelley, 1943– editor of compilation.

TX295.C485              2013

2012035469

248.8'43—dc23

Crossway is a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

This book is dedicated to Drs. Tim and Beverly LaHaye Your vision to develop a character-based home economics curriculum and perpetuate it made this volume possible.

From Dorothy: A word of gratitude to my husband, Paige Patterson, who has allowed and encouraged me to give my full energies and best creativity to home and family, and to Armour, Rachel, Mark, Carmen, Abigail, and Rebekah for giving to me joy beyond expression as a mother and grandmother.

From Pat: Special thanks to Carella DeVol, Pat’s best earthly friend. Your moral support, enthusiasm, and consistent prayer on all aspects of my ministry are a constant source of blessing.

Contents

Acknowledgments

Foreword by W. Mark Lanier

Introduction: Why Do We Need to Recover Biblical Patterns for Homemaking?—Dorothy Kelley Patterson

Part OneGod’s Design for the Home

1 A Portrait of the Twenty-First-Century Home—Pat Ennis

2 Impact of Feminism on the Home and Family—Candi Finch

3 Home: A Prepared Place—Dorothy Kelley Patterson

4 God’s Plan for Marriage—Dorothy Kelley Patterson

5 The Role of the Wife—Glenda Hotton

6 God’s Paradigm for the Homemaker—Dorothy Kelley Patterson

7 God’s View of the Extended Family—Rhonda Harrington Kelley

Part TwoGod’s View of the Sanctity of Life

8 The Value of a Child—Dorothy Kelley Patterson

9 Biblical Insights on Birth Control and “Family Planning”—Dorothy Kelley Patterson

10 A Life Full of Days: Caring for the Aged—Terri Stovall

11 The Impact of a Handicapped Individual on a Family—Rhonda Harrington Kelley

12 Placing the Solitary in Families—Pat Ennis

Part ThreeFoundations for Parenting

13 Biblical Foundations for Parenting—Dorothy Kelley Patterson

14 God’s Design for Nurturing Motherhood—Glenda A. Eitel

15 Effective Preschool Education: Early Learning—Ann Iorg

16 Teaching and Training Children—Elizabeth Owens

17 Raising Teenagers on God’s Terms—Joy Souther Cullen

18 Relating to Young Adults—Susie Hawkins

19 Spiritual Formation through Family Worship—Malcolm and Karen Yarnell

20 Life Management Skills—Rhonda Harrington Kelley

Part FourThe Practical Aspects of Establishing a Home

21 Nest Building 101: Setting Up a Household—Pat Ennis

22 Nest Building 102: Relocating a Household—Pat Ennis

23 Smart Routines for Cleaning a Home—Pat Ennis

24 Technology in the Home—Corinne Thomas

25 Is Working at Home for You?—Glynnis Whitwer

26 Too Much Month at the End of the Money?—Pat Ennis

27 Decorating Your Home with Silent Witness—Georg Andersen

28 Decorating Your Home with Love—Lisa O’Harra

29 Biblical Hospitality—Mary K. Mohler

Part FivePlanning and Preparing Healthy Meals

30 Nutrition and Healthy Eating: Making Wise Choices—Kimberly Toqe

31 Food Safety in the Home—Janet Taylor

32 Kitchen Equipment for the Home—Janet Taylor

33 Family Mealtime—Liz Traylor

34 Ideas for Holiday Celebrations—Mary K. Mohler

35 Making Your Kitchen a Springboard for Ministry—Mary K. Mohler

Part SixMaking Wise Clothing Decisions

36 Crafting and Complementing Your Life Message—Pat Ennis

37 Is Modesty an Obsolete Virtue?—Pat Ennis

38 Beautifully Balanced—Beth Mackey

39 Merging Quality and Fit to Equal Value—Beth Mackey

40 Will It Come Out in the Wash?—Beth Mackey

Appendix: Perceptions of Homemaking Study

Acknowledgments

The creation of The Christian Homemaker’s Handbook has been a team effort, and we are indebted to many individuals. Across the years some godly administrators cast a vision to develop a character-based home economics curriculum and to perpetuate that program in institutions of higher education. To do so meant to move against the tide of secularism and humanism devaluing the family and especially denigrating the homemaker, who has always been the heart and driving force in managing the family household. We are indebted to Tim LaHaye, who challenged Pat Ennis to begin such a program at Christian Heritage College; to John MacArthur, who continued that vision at The Master’s College; and now to Paige Patterson who brought the visions of Pat Ennis and Dorothy Patterson together at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary with degrees offered at both baccalaureate and master’s levels.

The vision and creativity poured into this unique and timely volume have gone far beyond our dreams and expectations. The twenty-two contributors are widespread geographically from coast to coast, generationally from youth to maturity of years, and in lifestyle choices from educators to ministry vocations to marketplace roles; yet these daughters, sisters, wives, mothers, and grandmothers all have a commitment to the importance of homemaking wherever and in whatever season they find themselves.

We are also indebted to the publication team. Their commitment to excellence made this partnership in the ministry of the written word a joy. Jill Carter, our liaison at Crossway, has extended a myriad of kindnesses to us. Al Fisher’s enthusiasm for The Christian Homemaker’s Handbook has been evident from our initial contact to the project’s completion. Laura Talcott’s keen eye for details and editing skills clarified the content and message of The Christian Homemaker’s Handbook. Amy Kruis caught and supported our vision for both the volume and the concept of “The Art of Homemaking: Making Your House a Home” conference.

The students in our classes from the five institutions we have collectively served throughout our professional sojourns have completed their assignments and participated in surveys that contributed to the compilation of this volume. They willingly shared their time and thoughts to add depth, breadth, and critical data to the book. Tamra Hernandez and Shannon McHenry Roelofs have worked on the details of manuscript preparation, allowing us to present the book to Crossway in a polished format.

A NOTE FROM DOROTHY KELLEY PATTERSON:

My homemaking journey began in my childhood home with the extraordinary example of my mother, Doris Weisiger Kelley, who taught me by word and deed unselfish devotion to home care, and the parallel mentoring of Roberta “Honey” Patterson, who wanted her son to have a prepared home and accordingly equipped me with many skills and inspired my creativity in the task. My husband, Paige, has faithfully provided, protected, and exercised godly servant leadership over half a century of marriage. Our children enriched our home and added to the family circle: Armour brought us a daughter-in-love, Rachel; Carmen gave us a son-in-love, Mark. Then came the “grandest touch” with Carmen and Mark’s daughters—Abigail and Rebekah!

A NOTE FROM PAT ENNIS:

My mother, Mary Ann Ennis, taught me by example and nurturing to be a “keeper at home” while my seventh grade home economics teacher, Ellen H. Osborn, inspired me to teach the younger women (Titus 2:3–5). Carella DeVol has provided moral support, enthusiasm, and consistent prayer support for all aspects of our ministry. She is a constant source of blessing to me.

May our heavenly Father, who established the foundation for the home in his holy Word and then provided the strength to apply those principles to daily living, accept our love and gratitude and grant to us the privilege of mentoring and inspiring you in your journey to make your home the best ever and a fragrance to him.

Foreword

W. Mark Lanier

For almost three thousand years, wise people have asked the question:

An excellent wife who can find? (Prov. 31:10)

The Proverbs answer that question in the very next phrase:

She is far more precious [and rare] than jewels. (v. 10)

If possible, this is even truer today than it was when written. We live in an age where the media informs women what it means to be successful, and rarely is that message congruent with what it means to be an “excellent wife.” From the earliest age, girls are taught by what they watch on television, by what they hear on the radio, and by what they read or see on the computer—that success is found in independence, in economics, and in beauty. Yet real independence, real purpose in economics, and true beauty are not often portrayed. The skewed vision is more typically one that makes the girl-turned-woman the center of focus and attention. Independence is valued for the woman who reports to no one and needs nothing. Economics is seen as the drive for consumption and personal satisfaction. Beauty is first and foremost, skin-deep. It is built to a standard made possible only by Photoshop, personal trainers, and the best plastic surgeons.

Unfortunately, the media message is wrong. The real jewels among women are those who rise to the godly level of praise found in Proverbs 31:10–31. The Proverbs passage forms the backbone of this book, even as it forms the character and life of godly women. As a man blessed to live in the midst of Proverbs 31 women, I can testify firsthand to the truth of this message as well as the importance of this book. My marvelous wife Becky exemplifies Proverbs 31, as do my mother, my two sisters, and day by day, our four maturing daughters.

When I first met my wife, she was in middle school, two grades behind me. While she caught my eye early on, it was not simply because she was pretty! Her personality was shown in everything she said and did. Her kindness was apparent to all as she cared about others more than herself, even at the age of fourteen. She was smart, but not showy about it. She was talented, but never flashy. She was popular, but went out of her way to befriend those alone. She knew how to encourage, how to make people laugh, and how to make others feel important. It was no surprise she was always voted “Class Favorite” by the students. The faculty gave her the “I dare you” and “Hall of Fame” awards. By the time she graduated high school, she was voted “Most Likely to Succeed.”

She continued on the path to “success” taking her national debate talent from high school, her dexterity in multiple languages, and her high grade point average to college where she ultimately amassed more degrees than a thermometer. She took a bachelor’s degree in international trade, a master’s degree in Spanish, two law degrees, lived as a rotary fellowship representative in Argentina, and prepared for a “successful” life with great energy and passion. The law firms fought over a chance to have her, and the men lined up outside her door hoping to win her affections! (By my count, she turned down five engagement rings before I cajoled her into accepting mine!)

With this background, and with this talent set, Becky could have done anything in her life she wanted. And she did exactly what she wanted. She settled into a marriage with me where she applied her strong gifts and talents into her truest passion, being the best wife and mother she could possibly be.

My oh my, what a blessing she is to our family. Her days start early, getting in her quiet time before she wakes our two daughters still at home (our son and two of our daughters are already in graduate school). She makes them breakfast, packs their lunches, and typically drives some set of children in some carpool tandem. She stays active as “team mom” in multiple sports and school activities, serves in the Parent Teacher Organization, volunteers her teaching for the school’s debate and speech program, and is found serving concessions at volleyball games. In the process, she stays plugged into both my legal work and my ministry efforts. She runs multiple events for the law firm, travels with me as much as possible, and is constantly planning one church event or another. She stays active with our extended family, runs our home, regularly makes costumes for any and all parties or events, strives to ensure that we are all well fed (combining sound nutrition with great flavor), keeps us up to date with doctors and dentists, keeps the pets up to date with all shots and medicines—and somehow keeps her car clean in the process.

In the midst of all this, she constantly amazes me not only for all she does, but for how she does it. She recognizes the importance of sleep. She knows the importance of prioritizing. She knows when too much is too much and when she needs downtime. She gets alone time, not by sacrificing what she does for others, but by careful planning. She thus ensures her batteries are charged so she can do for others. Her greatest joys are achieved when she sees her family happy and successful. She knows that is fruit from labor! Most importantly, she knows that she can achieve nothing, nor is anything she achieves of merit, absent the strength and love of the Lord.

Proverbs 31 is right—such a woman is more precious than jewels and is hard to find. I pray that all young men search for their helpmates and companions by seeking those who are not bent on becoming what they see on television, but rather on what they learn from the Lord. For Proverbs 31 ends instructively:

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,

but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Give her of the fruit of her hands,

and let her works praise her in the gates. (Prov. 31:30–31)

Introduction

Why Do We Need to Recover Biblical Patterns for Homemaking?

Dorothy Kelley Patterson

A woman makes choices on what quantity and quality of her time to invest in her home. Her task is overwhelming. She cares for husband and children; she maintains and directs the household with planning and creativity; she coordinates scheduling for the family; she is the catalyst for getting all household tasks done efficiently and effectively; she is on call for emergencies within the extended family, as well as volunteering in the church and community for unpaid tasks that serve society—from the local neighborhood to the international scene. Yet in a sense the homemaker has been sidelined for more than half a century. She is considered a nonperson by many who do not see value in her work. She does not have what others consider a respectable title for her position, and she lacks a clear job description of what is considered worthwhile work. She does not receive a salary for her work. She just does what needs to be done to get the job done!

The modern culture seems to be marked by frantic busyness and “to do” lists in every avenue of life except the home. Even those who choose homemaking sometimes tend to immerse themselves in volunteerism and projects that might lead to recognition and accolades from outsiders, such as the church and community. Other women are looking for a professional pursuit that produces pocketbook rewards. Most believe that the biblical model for a homemaker, who devotes her freshest energies and most of her time to keeping her home, is obsolete. To help your husband and nurture your children has often been rejected in this great age of enlightenment and in the throes of the modern faltering national economy. As maternal nurturing wanes in importance, mothers are eager to cut the apron strings from their babies and get them up and moving self-sufficiently into the world as quickly as possible.

Day care is so interwoven into maternal life that sometimes a child is placed on a waiting list for institutional care from the moment of conception in an attempt to find the best option in light of the tragedies associated with this surrogate care. Institutional care has become the norm from birth onward. Nutrition has evolved into reading labels on prepared food or exchanging drive-through fast food for gourmet-café takeout. In reality, the so-called liberation from feministic ideology has introduced a heavy dose of personal rights and self-fulfillment in modern women, who are drawn more to the right of personal achievement than to the responsibility of family care.

But one must not count God out in this battle for the future of marriage and the family and for the survival of the most precious product—the next generation or those who follow after. From creation God placed in the heart of every woman a maternal drive consisting of a natural nesting instinct, a passion for protecting her child and preparing her offspring for living in the world. However hard the world seeks to invert a woman’s God-given priorities, a remnant of those committed to God’s plan for the home are pulling for that woman to dig in and seize the opportunity to rear her own children in an earthly shelter she fashions and directs for that very purpose.

Every work has its mundane tasks. To enter the world’s marketplace, whatever the prestigious position or lucrative compensation, does not ensure the absence of boredom or the lack of fatigue resulting from hard work. The question is not whether a woman wants the best for her husband and children or even for herself. Rather the matter to consider is this: Is being someone’s wife and another’s mother really worth the investment of energies, creativity, and a life of sacrifice and hard work? What is necessary to keep a home? Do you need skills? Is it necessary to plan and prepare all along the journey?

Every evangelical woman agrees that Scripture contains timeless and unchanging principles. Such principles form the foundation of living the Christian life and managing a household God’s way. However, the problem comes in determining exactly what principles are timeless. Here every woman must continually “test the spirits” against the Word of God (1 John 4:1). What is the ultimate consideration—your own experience, the culture in which you live, or the words written in an ancient book—God’s Holy Word?

Every professional pursuit requires training and preparation as well as commitment to the task and dedication to do it well, and this book is our affirmation that homemaking is worthy of this effort as well. The activities are ongoing, and successful advancement is seldom without a cost to be paid in energy, time, and even creativity if you do well. In the modern era, finding anyone who is professionally prepared and motivated to do a job regardless of payment or recognition seems rare. The diversity of opportunities for women in the modern era should not prompt the neglect of God-assigned priorities for their respective responsibilities. If any professional person gives the most productive part of her day to peripheral chores or other commitments, neglecting the use of primary energies and freshest creativity for the most important responsibility, her main job falls victim to mediocrity. Generalities in services rendered and opportunities embraced must be governed and guided by specific purpose and needed preparation.

Homemaking is indeed a career in the sense that it demands a woman’s careful diligence in preparation, dedicated commitment to priorities associated with the assignment, freshest energy, and keenest creativity. Most dictionaries define the homemaker as “one who manages a household especially as a wife and mother.”1 Though the homemaker does her job with no expectation of a salary (much less financial bonuses and perks), she cannot duplicate her services for any amount of money (Prov. 31:10). Dorothy Morrison wrote,

Homemaking is not employment for slothful, unimaginative, incapable women. It has as much challenge and opportunity, success and failure, growth and expansion, perks and incentives, as any corporate career.2

Statistics suggest that top priority is assigned to the importance of family life—ranking it even above financial security.3 Pouring your time and energies into the lives of the people you love most is a rewarding task. Many people are surprised to learn how much time and energy it takes to run a household and care for a family. From my experience, having a marketplace career was far easier than being a homemaker. In the marketplace, I was never called to be on duty twenty-four hours a day, nor have I ever needed the variety of skills and myriad of abilities I have used in managing my household. Laborsaving devices do make my life easier, but the time saved becomes capital to be invested in the lives of my husband and children and in service to others. No professional pursuit so uniquely combines the most menial tasks with the most meaningful opportunities.

When a woman chooses to pursue homemaking with energy, imagination, and skills, she accepts a challenging task. As well as meeting the mundane needs of her family efficiently and completely, she also often finds the time to enrich lives with her tender loving care—encouraging and guiding, counseling or comforting. She is available to divide sorrow or share rejoicing, making the ones most dear to her the first priority in time and the most important work of her life.

Why would a woman want to read a book on being a homemaker? After almost half a century of marriage with opportunities to minister to women along the way, here are some goals in my heart for this project:

A woman can learn the biblical model for the home and family through answers to theological questions like: Why did God design the family at the dawn of creation? Who makes up the family? How do they interface with one another?

Who should be concerned about establishing a home? Does age, marital status, giftedness, and training have a part?

What skills are needed to manage a household? How do you acquire those skills?

Is homemaking to be distinctive when working from a biblical perspective? Are there resources, rituals, and steps to the practical implementation of this kind of homemaking?

Unfortunately, society has suffered some serious blows from the advance of feminism into the heart of the family. The survey done by Pat Ennis, which is described and evaluated in chapter 1, started our thinking and motivated us to move forward in this task. Clearly women want something more.

Preparation for this journey begins with God’s design for the home as discussed in Genesis—that is, the creation order. God’s principle for marriage as given at creation (Gen. 2:24) and then repeated three times in the New Testament (Matt. 19:4–6; Mark 10:5–9; Eph. 5:31) gives the foundation for a monogamous and permanent union. The paradigm for a homemaker as described in Proverbs 31 will be a pattern to study and embrace. The importance of the extended family is clearly established. These principles established in biblical foundations lift up a banner and call for a standard that is old in its origins but new in its rallying call.

The sanctity of life cannot be separated from the family. The value of a child as well as the discussion of troubling issues faced by women who are making choices concerning birth control and family planning come to the forefront in part 2. The responsibilities of mothers and fathers and even the family’s value and care for aging saints and the special needs of the physically and mentally challenged are tough topics that demand wise instruction and careful planning within the family circle. Adoption is also very much a part of any discussion of parenting. Biblical principles on parenting address baby care, preschool education, childhood oversight, adolescent supervision, and young adult influence. Part 3 culminates with a helpful chapter on the building of faith through family worship.

Once the foundations are laid in the first three parts, attention moves to the practical aspects of establishing a household whether here in the United States or overseas. Life-management skills and routines for managing a household as well as addressing technology within the home offer new opportunities for more efficiency and broader horizons. Chapters about establishing a home-based business as well as consumer and financial considerations address money, budgets, and the importance of family resources. Interior design, as well as the selection of furnishings and accessories, is important for the comfort of your family and for the silent witness your home offers to the outside world. The importance of hospitality, woven throughout this volume, includes how to implement a welcoming spirit and gracious manner into your home.

The last two parts are even more specifically addressed to household functions largely ignored in the modern era. Part 5 begins with nutrition and food sanitation, which are essential to family health and meal planning and preparation. The organization of the kitchen and acquisition of equipment is included. Family mealtime and ideas for holiday celebrations provide a springboard for using your kitchen as a ministry.

Part 6 encompasses the making of wise clothing decisions, beginning with the ways your clothes frame your life message as well as your body, and underscores the importance of modesty. A basic understanding of textiles and principles of design lead into clothing selection and care.

The final parts, in addition to specialized and technical information, provide simple and clear instructions on what every homemaker needs to know in order to feed and clothe her family. The emphasis is not on becoming a chef or seamstress but rather on the importance of knowing enough about these subjects to manage your household. The user-friendly indexing and straightforward presentation of facts enables a novice to work her way through the maze of technical information.

Finally, anyone who loves homemaking, as do Pat Ennis and I, knows it is a demanding job, but the fringe benefits are terrific. You keep your attitude right by focusing on the results rather than on the process. Homemaking challenges you to walk the fine line of being able to accommodate others without losing your own identity. A happy homemaker performs even her monotonous duties and routine chores faithfully and patiently. In so doing she serves others and achieves greatness in the process. The Lord expects from every woman the joy of obedient service whatever her assignment, and the service she offers to her family and others is ultimately unto him.

A welcoming home need not be pretentious or ostentatious. Rather than looking down at the world while flaunting her assets and giftedness, a woman can preside graciously and confidently over her humble abode. She can blend into its surroundings and effectively and efficiently meet the needs of its occupants as well as serving those who enter its doors. Behind the scenes a homemaker guides the daily activities and sets the pace for loving care and committed service. She is the angel of the hearth and the heart of the home. May the Lord use this book to revitalize homemaking in the hearts of Christian women. Use the “Attitude Check” that follows to examine your own life (James 1:22).

AN ATTITUDE CHECK

for the Homemaker

Appreciate God’s calling on your life to be a homemaker.Visualize the overall purpose of your work.Keep yourself at your best in appearance and health.Strive without ceasing to keep your interfamily relationships as the most important in your life.Learn good homemaking skills and fine-tune them by practice.Choose women as friends who affirm your calling and happily encourage you.Work diligently as unto the Lord and count your blessings.

___________

1Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary (2010), s.v. “homemaker,” March 4, 2010, http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/homemaker.

2Dorothy Morrison, “My Turn,” Newsweek, October 17, 1988, 14.

3Dorothy Kelley Patterson, Where’s Mom? The High Calling of Wives and Mothers (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2003), 18.

Part One

Chapter One

A Portrait of the Twenty-First-Century Home

Pat Ennis

When I was a very young teacher, one of the key leaders of the National Organization for Women (NOW) was the keynote speaker for my professional association’s annual conference. As I listened to her passionate presentation, I realized that NOW claimed to speak for the women of America. Her platform at our conference was to challenge the attendees to cast off the shackles of tradition and become “liberated!” Though at the time I was unfamiliar with the passages of Scripture describing the biblical instructions for male and female roles, I did know that speaker was not accurately representing my beliefs. Regrettably, a large percentage of the professional association’s membership did embrace NOW’s philosophy; this conference marked the beginning of the association’s demise.

Later that summer, Beverly LaHaye, my pastor’s wife, approached me after an evening church service and asked, “Pat, would you be interested in joining a group of ladies at my home next week to discuss some issues vital to our roles as Christian women?” Inwardly my mind was racing, thinking, There isn’t anything that I would rather do! Outwardly, I graciously smiled and responded, “How thoughtful of you to include me—I would be delighted to attend.”

The afternoon began with refreshments and the usual ladies’ chatter—all the while knowing that a cause greater than “female fellowship” had drawn us together. The room silenced as Mrs. LaHaye rose and began to share with us the purpose of the gathering. She had watched a television interview of Betty Friedan, the founder of NOW, and had drawn the same conclusions as I had at my professional conference. Beverly knew that Friedan was not accurately representing her beliefs and was confident that she was not the only woman who felt that way. A time of discussion, affirmation of Beverly’s convictions, and prayer followed.

Subsequently, a meeting led by Mrs. LaHaye to educate and alert Christian women on the Equal Rights Amendment (ERA) was held in San Diego—with more than twelve hundred in attendance. This event served to launch Concerned Women for America (CWA), which became officially incorporated in January of 1979. Today, Concerned Women for America is a vibrant organization with well over five hundred thousand members coming from all fifty states and coordinated by a dynamic staff from its national office in Washington, DC.1

TIMELESS PRINCIPLES

The advent of the feminist agenda in the decade of the seventies began the downward spiral for the embracing of traditional roles by evangelicals. Now, some forty years later, the egalitarian view is so widely embraced by the evangelical community that the biblical instructions about male and female roles are no longer aggressively taught in many churches. Numerous individuals who would consider themselves strong Christians believe that the role distinctions described in the Scriptures are archaic and not applicable to the twenty-first century. However, the immutability or unchanging nature of God would be in question if numerous passages of Scripture were not timelessly relevant (Gen. 1:27; 2:15–17, 22, 3:1–7; Prov. 31:10–31; 1 Cor. 11:9–12; Eph. 5:23–29; Col. 3:19–21; 1 Tim. 2:8–15; Titus 2:2–8; and 1 Pet. 3:1–7). If you think that God changed his mind about one passage of Scripture, how can you be sure that he has not changed his mind about others? J. I. Packer, in Knowing God, lists six attributes of God that provide a helpful backdrop for analyzing the portrait of the twenty-first-century home:

God’s life does not change.

God’s character does not change.

God’s truth does not change.

God’s ways do not change.

God’s purposes do not change.

God’s Son does not change.

2

If God does not change, then fellowship with him, trust in his Word, living by faith, and embracing his principles for twenty-first-century believers are the same realities as they were for those living in the eras of the Old and New Testaments. The role distinctions outlined in the Scriptures listed above are not written to suppress or discourage Christians. Rather, they provide a biblical foundation for the creation of principles by which we, as evangelical Christians, are to live our lives. While the outward historical context has changed, the biblical principles defining character have remained true.

PROTOTYPE OF THE TWENTY-FIRST-CENTURY WOMAN

I am privileged to administrate and teach a character-based home economics curriculum, which I first developed for Christian Heritage College at the request of Tim LaHaye. Each year as I work with new homemaking students, I find that they are increasingly unaware of God’s special instructions to women. When I teach Proverbs 31:10–31, the biblical foundation of the curriculum, seemingly the scales drop from the eyes of my students and they understand for the first time that this passage is relevant for their choices today.3 The majority of the students enrolled in my classes are the products of evangelical homes and churches, so for them to lack a foundational knowledge of the principles that Christian women should embrace is a surprise and disappointment to me. The situation is enhanced when, in their exit class, their understanding of the impact of the feminist movement on the evangelical community is incredibly deficient. Reading and responding to the content of Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood is a life-changing experience for them.4

My students are asked to discuss the characteristics of the women who have been role models for them. Typically, the woman whose life has been so influential to a student is marked by these characteristics:

is professionally employed outside the home, even when her family does not need her income to meet the family’s basic living expenses

demands and achieves equal rights with her husband

prioritizes fulfillment of personal goals

exhibits an attitude of independence, of wanting to be in control of her circumstances

frequently does not speak to people in a gracious and kind manner

fails to respond to God’s provision for her with gratitude and contentment

expects her husband to contribute equally to the maintenance of the home

places her children in the care of someone else or of a day care center

may have made ungodly choices, such as divorce or even abortion, to avoid difficult situations or consequences

leads her family rather than allowing her husband to lead

has children who are “ministry orphans” (children whose parents prioritize their ministry responsibilities ahead of their parenting roles as outlined in Scripture)

Regrettably, the students’ Christian role models have moved a million miles from the teaching found in Proverbs 31:10–31. Apparently the influence of the twenty-first-century culture has slowly infiltrated the evangelical community. Consider the following categories of data collected by the United States Bureau of Labor Statistics and compare them with the demographics of your local congregation:

the labor force participation rate (the percent of the population working or looking for work) for all mothers with children under eighteen

the participation rate for married mothers living with their respective spouses

the labor force participation rate of mothers with children under six years

the participation rate of mothers with infants under a year old

5

Consider studying the content presented in the Bureau of Labor Statistics website in light of this question: “If you were free to do either, would you prefer to have a job outside the home, or would you prefer to stay at home and take care of the house and family?”

Research suggests that twenty-first-century society has twisted and blended the male and female roles outlined in Scripture (Genesis 1–3; Prov. 31:10–31; Ephesians 5–6; 1 Tim. 2:1–15; Titus 2:2–6; 1 Pet. 3:1–7). God ordained specific and separate roles for women to fulfill, whether single, married, or with children. Feminism has blended at best, and distorted in many cases, the biblical role distinctions. Have you been impacted? Responding to the “Feminism Quotient” may assist you in identifying whether or not your values have been influenced by the feminist movement.

FEMINISM QUOTIENT

What is your perception of the impact of the feminist movement on the twenty-first-century culture and the evangelical community?

Place the number that best reflects your response to the statement in the space provided.

Use the following scale:

  1. 

Roles of men and women are clearly defined in the Bible.

  2. 

God is spoken of in the Scriptures as a male.

  3. 

The tendency today is to stress the equality of men and women by minimizing the unique significance of our maleness or femaleness.

  4. 

God does not intend for women to be squelched.

  5. 

Society, due to the inborn sin nature of each human, automatically rebels against God’s rule, resulting in a distorted view of how God originally created men and women.

  6. 

Submission refers to a wife’s divine calling to affirm her husband’s leadership.

  7. 

Submission refers to a wife’s divine calling to follow her husband’s leadership through the use of her gifts.

  8. 

Because a husband is given leadership, this means he must make all the decisions.

  9. 

The pattern of male leadership was God’s original design before sin affected His creation.

10. 

Jesus placed a high value on women.

11. 

Jesus recognized role distinctions for men and women.

12. 

The Old Testament, Jesus, and Paul all teach the same basic doctrine in relation to role distinctions for men and women.

13. 

Male leadership in the church was Jesus’s intention as displayed by the appointment of all men as apostles.

14. 

The headship of men over women implies women are inferior.

15. 

Analogous of Christ and his church, the husband is told to exercise, with love, headship over his wife.

16. 

Paul’s teachings imply that women are not to teach Christian doctrine to men.

17. 

Paul’s teachings imply that women are not to exercise authority directly over men in the church.

18. 

Submission implies giving up independent thought.

19. 

Submission is not based on lesser intelligence or competence.

20. 

The same wisdom and skills necessary for good family management apply also to the management of God’s church.

21. 

The effects of sin have made family relationships difficult to fulfill in a biblical manner.

22. 

The loss of masculine identity is causing children to become confused about their own identity.

23. 

Women are valuable not because of any merit of their own but because the Lord has given them value.

24. 

How women serve in ministry must align with the principle and truth that God has assigned specific roles to specific people and groups of people.

25. 

The process of cultivating a heart of gratitude allows a woman to place herself humbly under the Word of God and in submission to his commands to fulfill the biblical role of womanhood to which he has called her.

Feminism Quotient Total

Feminism Quotient Interpretation

Total all the numbers indicating your responses to the statements. Then find the corresponding range of scores listed below:

100–90

A complementarian understanding of the roles of men and women

89–80

A strong understanding of the roles of men and women

79–70

A basic understanding of the roles of men and women

69–60

Further research is needed to acquire a biblical understanding of the roles of men and women.

You may be a part of my study addressing the impact of feminism on the evangelical community by transferring your responses to the identical assessment located at http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/PC7QDKV. An interpretation of the assessment is located at the conclusion of the chapter.

BIBLICAL INTERVENTION FOR THE TWENTY-FIRST-CENTURY WOMAN

The book of Proverbs is a set of teaching guidelines for Jewish families. Proverbs 12:4 and 19:14 commend specific positive qualities of a wife. Proverbs 31 is the final teaching to the son by a godly mother (31:1). In Proverbs 31, verses 1–9 focus on the qualities of a wise king; verses 10–31 deal with the selection of a godly wife. Its content provides the instruction needed to restore the twenty-first-century’s woman to a biblical paradigm. The instruction first addresses the character qualities of a godly king including:

holiness (31:3),

sobriety (31:4–7), and

compassion (31:8–9).

6

The second instruction provides insight on how to select an excellent wife (31:10–31). Six characteristics are emphasized:

Her character

. In verses 11–16, “trustworthy” is the word that best defines her. Her husband’s care is her primary concern, and he trusts her to manage the home effectively. She is a careful steward of the family assets and helps her husband to profit in his business. Her devotion to him is consistent, freeing him to be all that God means for him to be.

Her devotion as a wife and homemaker

. Verses 13–24 suggest that the excellent wife is creative with her hands and works with a positive attitude (v. 13); purchases goods of variety and quality at the best price (v. 14); rises early to meet the needs of her household (v. 15); possesses the ability to make sound financial decisions (v. 16); is utterly unselfish and uses her skills to minister to others (v. 20); plans ahead for unforeseen circumstances rather than living by crisis management (v. 21); is well groomed and appropriately fashionable (v. 22); and contributes to the family income through her home-based industry (v. 24).

Her generosity as a neighbor

. Verse 20 reports that the excellent wife both responds to and reaches out to others. Although her family is her first priority, she is not myopic.

She is a teacher with influence

. Verses 25–26 describe the impact of the woman on the lives of others. Whether or not a woman is trained professionally, she is a teacher. The excellent woman is confident spiritually. She has gained, through a godly lifestyle, the respect of others who listen to her counsel; she teaches daily in her home and makes a long-term impact on others. Wisdom and loving-kindness characterize her speech.

She is an effective mother

. Verses 27–28 record the spontaneous response of those closest to her—her husband and children. Her household is

well

-

managed

, and her husband affirms her while her children reverence and honor her.

Her reward

. Proverbs 31:30–31 is a reminder that long-term outward beauty has no real value. A woman who loves and fears God is the only truly excellent woman, and only God can produce such a woman. Eventually, if she is willing to embrace God’s special instructions to women, she will be privately and publicly rewarded.

The feminist agenda understandably does not define excellence in these terms. Regrettably, our evangelical community frequently fails to define excellence according to biblical standards as the Perceptions of Homemaking Study revealed.

THE PERCEPTIONS OF HOMEMAKING STUDY

The Perceptions of Homemaking Study, which establishes the need for this book, was designed to identify a woman’s knowledge of the facts regarding her ability to perform successfully the life skills commonly associated with home management. The respondents overwhelmingly were female. With that general purpose in mind, several research questions were cited:

How has feminism impacted the twenty-first-century culture?

How has feminism impacted the twenty-first-century evangelical community?

What are the homemaking skills many Christian women lack?

These research questions provided the preparation for this study, specifics of which can be found in the appendix.

IMPLICATIONS OF THE STUDY FOR THE TWENTY-FIRST-CENTURY EVANGELICAL COMMUNITY

The enthusiastic response to the survey suggests that a need does exist for the twenty-first-century evangelical community to consider seriously the need for the implementation of the Titus 2:3–5 principle, which challenges women to acquire the facts and life skills needed to manage their homes successfully. Likewise, the devastating effect that feminism continues to exact on its members must be acknowledged, identified, and corrected.

The mean scores of the 1,364 respondents between ages thirty-five and ninety indicated that they possess the majority of the skills and much of the knowledge needed to establish a godly home. However, the same respondents listed the skills, which they had efficiently practiced, as deficient in the younger women. Just as the younger women should embrace a teachable spirit toward acquiring the knowledge base and skills for successful home management, so the older women must heed the Titus 2:3–5 instruction to be willing to teach the younger women.

While not reported in this summary, the e-mails that accompanied the requests for the summary of the survey findings reflected a deep concern that the generation of younger women is frequently theologically sound but practically inept in the godly attitudes and skills required to manage a home that glorifies their heavenly Father. Thus, the admonition offered in Titus 2:5 is coming to fruition—God’s Word is being discredited.

The Titus 2:3–5 passage states that older women are to be examples of godliness (2:3); they are to teach what is good, and they are to train the younger women in specific skills so that God’s Word is not discredited (2:4–5). The résumé of a qualified older woman portrays her as embracing a lifestyle that models the faith she professes. She is circumspect with her speech, self-controlled, and a teacher of things that please God. As a countercultural woman in her commitment to God’s special instructions to women, she is willing to thank her heavenly Father for her successes and ask forgiveness of him and others for her failures. She desires to see growth toward Christlikeness in younger women and is willing to invest her most valuable asset—her time—in them.7 Only when the younger and older women partner together to fulfill this biblical mandate will the Christian home be recovered.

PUTTING THE PRINCIPLES INTO PRACTICE

Consider responding to The Perceptions of Homemaking Study and the Feminism Quotient. What did you discern from completing the surveys?

How do you perceive feminism has impacted the twenty-first-century culture?

How do you perceive feminism has impacted the twenty-first-century evangelical community?

How do you perceive feminism has impacted you?

Read “Dear Keeper.” What is your response to its content? Develop biblical guidelines that will assist you in valuing those things that are “worth keeping.”

Dear Keeper,

I grew up in the 1950s with practical parents—a mother, God love her, who washed aluminum foil so it could be reused, and a father who was happier to get old shoes fixed than buy new ones. Marriage was good [enough] and dreams focused; best friends were barely a wave away; Dad in trousers, T-shirt and a hat; Mom in a house dress, lawn mower in one hand and dish towel in the other. It was a time for fixing things such as curtain rods, the radio, the screen door, or the oven. It was a way of life that drove me crazy sometimes. Waste was affluence. There was always more. And new.

When Mother died, I was struck by the fact there wasn’t any “more”—the thing cared about was used up; never more. So while we have it, it’s good to love it, care for it, and fix it when broken; heal it when sick.

This is true for marriage, friends, old cars, children with bad report cards, old dogs, and aging parents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it. Some things are worth keeping, such as best friends, people who are special, and even strangers with whom we share a common human bond.8

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Pat Ennis taught home economics for the San Diego Unified School District while developing the Home Economics Department at Christian Heritage College (now San Diego Christian College). She moved to The Master’s College in 1987 to establish the Home Economics-Family and Consumer Science Department. Pat coauthored Becoming a Woman Who Pleases God: A Guide to Developing Your Biblical Potential, Designing a Lifestyle that Pleases God, and Practicing Hospitality: The Joy of Serving Others. She is a contributing author to Daily Devotions for Authors, Pearl Girls: Encountering Grit, Experiencing Grace, and Think Biblically: Recovering a Christian Worldview. Becoming a Young Woman Who Pleases God, published by New Hope Publishers, was released fall 2010. Pat relocated to Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, fall 2011 to assume the position of Distinguished Professor and Director of Homemaking Programs. Her life’s mission is to

love her Lord with ALL of her heart (Matt. 22:37),

walk worthy of her calling (Eph. 4:1–3), and

train the younger women to fulfill the Titus 2 mandate so that God’s Word will not be discredited (Titus 2:3–5).

___________

1See Concerned Women for America website, accessed April 1, 2010, http://www.cwfa.org/history.asp.

2J. I. Packer, Knowing God (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity, 1973), 68–72.

3Patricia A. Ennis, “Portraying Christian Femininity,” Journal of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood 8 (Fall 2003): 47–55. This article provides a snapshot of the content taught.

4John Piper and Wayne Grudem, eds., Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood: A Response to Evangelical Feminism (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 1991, 2006).

5See US Department of Labor, Bureau of Labor Statistics, “Employment Characteristics of Families—2010,” last modified March 24, 2011, http://www.bls.gov/news.release/pdf/famee.pdf.

6John MacArthur, The MacArthur Study Bible (Nashville: Word, 1997), notes for Proverbs 31:2–9.

7For further elaboration on the Titus 2 principle, see Pat Ennis and Lisa Tatlock, Becoming a Woman Who Pleases God: A Guide to Developing Your Biblical Potential (Chicago: Moody Press, 2003), 288–306.

8This letter with no author attribution has widely circulated on the Internet for some ten years. The Master’s College librarian tried to track it down but to no avail.

Chapter Two

Impact of Feminism on the Home and Family

Candi Finch

“If you are a woman sitting in this class and do not consider yourself a feminist, then you are lying to yourself.” This statement by my teacher in a communication course during my sophomore year in college had a profound effect on my life for several years. Frankly, I was mad, and I felt as if my teacher had thrown down the proverbial gauntlet in front of me! I was offended by her comment. As a Christian, even though I did not know a lot about feminism, I considered it antithetical to the Christian worldview. My teacher, a self-proclaimed atheist who was also vocal about her lesbian lifestyle, waged a diligent campaign throughout the semester to open the eyes of her female students to the ideology of feminism, though the subject of the class had nothing to do with feminism. Her missionary zeal in trying to convert students to her ideology angered me, and I began to read secular feminist works primarily so I could engage her in class.

However, as I read the feminist literature, the unthinkable occurred. I actually agreed with some of it! Concepts such as equal pay for equal work, protection under the law for women in abusive situations, and access for women to higher education resonated with me. Underneath the angry rhetoric found in these writings stood some ideas that did not seem contrary to Scripture (though I did see much of what they said as going against the Bible). After all, God cared for women just as he cared for men. Both men and women were created in God’s image (Gen. 1:27). Some of the things for which early feminists fought were things in which I believed as well. For the rest of my college career, I wrestled with the ideas of secular feminist thought, wondering if I could reconcile what I was reading with my Christian beliefs.

Not until my first semester in seminary did I begin to delve deeper into the underlying message of the feminist movement. Feminism can be defined and understood in two ways:

A movement

—a social, historical movement seeking rights for women; organized activity on behalf of women’s rights and interests;

A philosophy or ideology

—the theory of political, economic, and social equality of the sexes.

At first glance, this philosophy may not appear to contradict Scripture. However, since this movement defines “equality” as “sameness,” there is a problem. God in his wisdom has given distinct roles to men and women. Just as in the Trinity where God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit have distinct roles yet are equally God, so, too, within humanity a distinction of roles does not mean that either men or women are any more important or less important in God’s design. Distinctions do not mean inequalities, yet the message of the feminist movement would not allow for this.

At the heart of this movement is a message that shuns God and exalts humanity, specifically women. The American culture has embraced this message, and to some extent, the church has allowed it to creep within its doors. For any Christian, the essential problem with feminism is that this ideology exalts women and their experience as a source of truth, and in turn women’s experience becomes more authoritative than Scripture. For example, if the idea that God may have distinct roles for women in the home or church seems “unfair” to you, then many feminists would advise you to reject what God teaches and go with what you “feel” is right. In their view, each woman is the barometer of her own truth. However, the Bible clearly states that all people—men and women—are sinful (Rom. 3:23). Whenever anyone’s experience is seen as trumping Scripture, red flags should immediately flash in your mind.

Speaking of the feminist movement in her book Radical Womanhood, Carolyn McCulley states, “Right observation does not always lead to right interpretation.”1 In my journey, I came to realize that although the feminist movement had correctly observed some injustices against women, its “interpretation” of how to solve these problems is incorrect because feminists abandoned God and his plan for humanity. The only lasting answer to the abuse of women is the transformative power of the gospel. Unlike the message of the feminist movement, which points to women for hope, true hope is found only in Christ.

This chapter will examine how the movement and its message have impacted the home and family. Has feminism influenced your ideas about roles within a marriage, having children, or even the value of a career versus motherhood? Admittedly, the beliefs I held about these things were based more on my cultural conditioning than on God’s truth. As Pat Ennis demonstrated through the survey in her chapter “A Portrait of the Twenty-First-Century Home,” many women will admit that feminism has impacted the way they think about topics like employment and working outside the home, God’s plan for womanhood, what constitutes a family, and abortion. Before beginning to examine the impact of feminism, one must understand a bit about the history and development of this movement.

THE MOVEMENT AND ITS MESSAGE

Feminism as a historical movement is usually broken up into three periods of time, which are often classified as “waves,” in order to simplify what is actually a complicated and multifaceted movement.

First Wave (1840–1925): The Fight to Overturn Injustices

The key concern of the first wave of feminism was women’s suffrage (from a French word that means “a vote”). However, several other causes were championed by the feminist pioneers:

abolition (ending slavery)

temperance

child labor reform

education for women

marriage laws that would give protection to women

The women (and some men) in this movement responded to specific injustices they had experienced, and they fought to bring about change in society. Be honest—their causes were not always bad; in fact, you could argue that the church should have been championing some of these very same issues. As a single, thirty-something woman pursuing her PhD, I am indebted and grateful to feminists who fought for women to have the opportunity to pursue higher education.

One of the best ways to understand the first wave of feminism is to look at a few of its more recognizable proponents:

Lucretia Mott

(1793–1880)—a married Quaker minister. She sheltered runaway slaves and formed the Female Anti-Slavery Society.

Elizabeth Cady Stanton

(1815–1902)—a staunch abolitionist who was married for more than fifty years and had seven children. In 1848 at the Seneca Falls Convention, she delivered the keynote address, “A Declaration of Sentiments,” which was a declaration of independence for women. She viewed the Bible as a tool used to oppress women.

Sojourner Truth

(1797–1883)—an African American evangelist and reformer who applied her energies to the abolitionist and women’s rights movements. As the daughter of slaves, she was abused by several masters during her childhood.

Susan B. Anthony