The Life Coaching Handbook E-Book

Curly Martin

• Herausgeber: Crown House Publishing
• Kategorie: Geisteswissenschaft
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 319

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2001

Beschreibung

This complete guide to life coaching reveals what life coaching IS, how to coach yourself and others effectively and how to create and sustain a successful coaching practice. Leading you through a comprehensive programme of Advanced Life Coaching Skill The Life Coaching Handbook is the essential guide for life coaches, and a key sourcebook for NLP practitioners, human resources managers, training professionals, counsellors and the curious. Curly Martin is a professional life coach, author, trainer and internationally qualified NLP Master Practitioner. Coaching for more than twenty years, her clients include celebrities, CEOs, directors and doctors.

Leseprobe

Acclaim forThe Life Coaching Handbook

“A first class manual, and a must for every aspiring coach. Absolutely terrific!” – FionaHarrold, author of Be YourOwnLife Coach.

“Curly Martin’s The Life Coaching Handbook is inspiring. It is a must-have book for people and organisations focused on turning visions into reality. Most importantly she has identified techniques which will benefit most individuals when setting goals and targets and provides an holistic and considered approach to every dimension of one’s life.” – MaryMcEntee, Supplies Manager, PALL.

“The Life Coaching Handbook is a must for anyone considering or wanting to become a Life Coach!! It is written clearly, simply and logically with chapter upon chapter of great tips on how to move forward … it is also a book you can dip into time and time again when you need reminders or advice on specifics.” – FionaFraser, Human Resources Manager.

“Curly is, without doubt, a major talent in her field. I found her book, from the standpoint of a small business owner and personal development enthusiast, both inspirational and challenging. Her depth of knowledge is clear, yet is imparted with candour and an appreciation that her readership will be from all walks of life. If her overall aim is to make one stop and think and then take positive action about one’s coaching career or aspirations, then reading The Life Coaching Handbook may well be the catalyst which helps many people to take those essential first steps on the journey to their future … I feel certain that the book will enjoy the success it deserves.” – TedEdmondson, Independent Distributor, TheBookPeople.

“Indispensable. Since I first picked up this book I have returned to it again and again. An excellent sourcebook of new ideas, packed with good advice.” – GeorgGuy, Cabin Services Manager and Airline Trainer of Pilots and Cabin Crew.

“The ideas contained in this book are brilliant, applicable to any coach in any field, and to everyone who wants to improve their life!” – CarmineDeIeso, Australian International Tennis Coach.

“It seemed quite a bold statement that the book could guide you to becoming a life coach, but I honestly believe it will. It is clear and concise and very easy to understand and then implement.” – PaulByrne, Sales Director, Parity.

The Life Coaching Handbook

Everything You Need To Be An Effective Life Coach

Curly Martin

To my husband Pete, my mother and my sisters with love

Author’s Note

Since writing this book in 2000/2001 the life coaching profession has moved from obscurity into the light of the public domain in Europe. Life coaching is frequently in the media, with life coaches enthusiastically producing press releases, presenting reality television shows, and radio programmes all actively raising the awareness of our amazing profession. Blue chip companies and small businesses alike, after hiring life coaches to improve the work/life balance of their employees and reduce work-related stress, have also discovered an increase in performance, motivation and results.

To support my readers, I now offer an accredited life coach training course based upon the principles within this book. You will watch demonstrations and practice the coaching models described here. When you qualify, you join an elite group of achievers and you will be able to declare to your clients that you have trained with a pioneer of life coaching. You can find details of the life coaching diploma course on page 201.

Life coaching is an exceptionally rewarding, passionate, exciting, challenging and enlightening profession and I consider myself blessed and honoured to be part of this life-changing revolution. Join us and make the world a better place, starting with your first client.

Curly Martin June 2004

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Section 1: The Coaching Process

Chapter 1Life Coaching Defined

Chapter 2Life Coaching Explained

Chapter 3Coaching versus Counselling and Therapy

Chapter 4Essential Coaching Beliefs

Chapter 5Essential Communication Skills

Chapter 6How to Build a Coaching Practice

Chapter 7Coaching for Results

Chapter 8The History and Development of Neuro-LinguisticProgramming

Section 2: Advanced Life Coaching Skills

Chapter 9Reframes

Chapter 10Matters of State

Chapter 11Representational Systems

Chapter 12Fundamental Rapport Skills

Chapter 13The Milton Model

Chapter 14Meta-language Patterns

Chapter 15Coaching Meta-programs

Chapter 16Metaphors with Meaning

Chapter 17The Spiral Coaching Model

Chapter 18The Secrets of Coaching Success

Chapter 19Specialist Life Coaching

Bibliography

Author Resource Guide

Index

Copyright

Acknowledgments

I would like to thank all my coaches, for reminding me of what I was achieving, even when I felt I was standing still, and to all the Neuro-Linguistic Programming trainers who have influenced me – with special thanks to Dave Marshall, Roger and Louise Terry, and Katrina Patterson.

I am grateful for Steve Creffield’s guidance and training on the benefits of understanding Spiral Dynamics, and for the patience my friends, demonstrated in understanding the times when I couldn’t “come out to play.” Thanks to my family and relatives who supported me though the cancer treatment and encouraged me to write.

Thanks also to my friend and literary adviser, Colin Edwards, for his wizardry, which provided the means for my work to get to the publishers, and his wife Mary for allowing me to call at any time of day, and any day of the week.

To Ann Williams, a very special thanks, for teaching me how to drain the build-up of lymph from my right arm with a special massage technique which I practise every day. Her love and expertise gave me back the use of my arm and my ability to type.

I am ever indebted to Dr Faisal Samji, who saved my life and even became my bridesmaid.

Last, but far from least, I thank my husband, Peter, who allowed me to shout at him when I felt overwhelmed and for “being there” for me during the bleak times. His love and thoughtfulness gave me the space and time to write.

Introduction

‘Life coaching is about transformation – from a caterpillar into a butterfly’

Life coaching is about gap analysis that closes the gap between life and dreams.

Life coaching can be compared to motorway maintenance and construction. It fills and removes the ruts of life to build a smooth surface. Then life’s journey takes the traveller to the destinations that they really want to visit, rather than remain in the slow lane of inactivity, drifting without purpose or direction.

If you want to make a difference in your life and the lives of others, become a life coach. This is a profession that brings joy to the client and the coach, and this handbook shows you how you can achieve these amazing rewards.

If you are considering life coaching as a career, this book will be your coach. It reveals how coaching works, how to start and grow your own practice and how to market your services.

If you are already a life coach, this book is your reference guide and reminder of how to build and develop your practice.

The book is in two parts. The first, The Coaching Process, covers the fundamentals of life coaching, the important differences between coaching on the one hand and counselling and therapy on the other. It describes the essential basic skills of great communication that are crucial to your success.

You will discover a step-by-step model to help you turn enquiries into paying clients, who are the lifeblood of any practice. The model is designed to help you to talk about your profession in an interesting way to create enthusiasm and desire. There are ideas on one-line conversation openers to help you hook the interest of every casual enquirer.

You are guided through a life coaching session and offered an approach to use during the first coaching call. This ensures that you fully understand your clients’ aims and goals and it can be used to help clients identify their individual goals. Use it to make your life coaching process easy and effective.

The second part, Advanced Life Coaching Skills, identifies selected Neuro-Linguistic Programming techniques that are particularly valuable within the coaching context. State control, for both you and your clients, is described so that you coach from a peak state that you can access whenever you need it.

Rapport-building skills are extensively covered through representational systems (Chapter Eleven), Milton language (Chapter Thirteen), Meta-language (Chapter Fourteen), Meta-programs (Chapter Fifteen) and metaphors for life coaching (Chapter Sixteen). Chapter Seventeen (Spiral Coaching) covers thinking patterns and how to identify and use them to best coaching advantage. Within the second part of the book there are also different methods that you will use with each different client, and each of the methods described works independently of the others. When developing your practice, you need to be flexible and have the ability to select the model or method best suited for each client–coach relationship. For one client you may decide to concentrate on the Spiral Coaching model’s thinking patterns. You may need to develop your relationship with a new client and concentrate on utilising the benefits of representational systems, whereas if you need leverage to motivate a client you could identify his or her Meta-programs. Interestingly, during a coaching programme with a client, you may employ all the different methods portrayed.

Chapter Eighteen contains practical advice drawn from long experience of actually operating a successful practice. This is where you find the “trade secrets” and some valuable marketing information.

The final chapter looks at specialisations within the profession. It identifies the main categories of specialisation and describes how you can use skills from other professions and industries within your life coaching practice.

Use this book as a guide for creating and sustaining your practice. Use it to learn or enhance your skills for working with clients. Use it to start a small, part-time practice that you can gradually develop until you have a client base that will sustain a full-time profession.

Use this book as a resource for coaching yourself towards a more fulfilled life. It will help you to reach the goals you have dreamed of and show you how to remove any beliefs that have prevented you from achieving your desires. To use the book as a personal self-development tool, you should read the chapters in sequence and practise each technique in turn until it is mastered.

Read on to explore the fascinating and rewarding world of life coaching. I should warn you that it is easy to become a life coach. Even as you read this handbook you will begin to think, feel and act like a coach. From there it is one small step to a future as a professional life coach of excellence.

Section 1

The Coaching Process

Chapter One

Life Coaching Defined

‘The first step towards success is knowing what it is that you aim to do’

Synopsis

Life coaching is a career and an ethical profession.The life coachuses the power of commitment to enable their clients to achievebeneficial and measurable results in all areas of their lives.Lifecoaching is a holistic process that has the power to balance andharmonise life.

Coaching. Is it a new phenomenon or an old profession dressed up to look exciting? Life coaching is one and both at the same time. It uses some of the skills of the old coaching styles combined with innovation. It concentrates on the person’s whole life instead of just one area.

Conventional coaching tends to be specific in its approach. This means that the coach specialises in one profession or a single specialised area of expertise. Physical or sports coaches, for example, usually come from within that profession. They have proved their success as a professionally-paid player or athlete. In tennis, the best coaches of the top-ranking players have themselves been tennis professionals.

Football also follows this pattern. In the major leagues the coaches have come from the field of football, literally. These, then, are examples of the traditional types of coach. They design the physical training programmes and coach their clients accordingly. They have expertise and experience in the skill required. Then they endeavour to advise and coach their protégés in this skill.

During the 1980s the business coaches arrived in the guise of management or financial consultants. They are specialists in the business world who are usually hired when profits are going down. They have a role when companies have been through re-engineering, or a new product is to be launched. They are retained on a temporary basis, for instance, when a company identifies some missing skills that may not justify a permanent addition to staff. Consultants usually spend their time establishing facts, preparing reports, designing the new process or procedure and helping the client to implement approved proposals.

Management consultants contribute at least 75 per cent of the plan of action. The same contribution levels of 75 per cent, or more, are found in the sports-coaching role.

Life coaching is the converse of this: at least 75 per cent of the action plan comes from the client. An expert in a particular field can do life coaching but someone who has no specific knowledge of the skills required can just as effectively perform it. Indeed, some of the most successful life coaches do not have the expertise in the specialist fields of their clients.

Expertise in many trades or professions is not the role of the life coach. Laura Berman Fortgang, life coach and author of TakeYourself to the Top, writes, “I am your partner,” and adds, “coaching is holistic.” Another life coach, Eileen Mulligan, wrote in Life Coaching – change your life in seven days, “Life coaches are there to push you to change your life for the better.” There is no mention in either book about the need for qualifications or expertise in any given field beyond that of life coaching itself.

So what is a life coach? Some life coaches believe that it is about advising clients. Some believe that it involves guiding clients to find their own answers. A few claim that you must have expertise within the fields where you coach. Spiritually focused life coaches say that it is all about “connection.” Life coaches with therapy backgrounds believe that the process includes counselling or therapy.

In reality, life coaching can be all of the above. It depends on the needs of each individual client and the skills of the coach. When you use the techniques offered here, you can develop your own style and proficiencies to become a highly sought-after life coach.

Despite this diversity of approach, most life coaches agree that it is about achieving results. Most people, if asked, “Is there something you’ve been thinking about doing but have yet to start or complete?” will answer, “Yes.” Then they will tell you exactly what it is and how long they have wanted to do it. They may even give you all the reasons why they have not done it. The life coach closes the gap between thinking about doing and actually doing.

Clients tend to underperform because there is conflict between their desires and their value systems. They depend on these values and belief systems for guidance, although many, developed in their childhood, may no longer serve them in adulthood. Nevertheless, people still judge and act by these obsolete principles.

Some life coaches seek to address these barriers before working with the client’s desired outcomes. In the long term, any conflict between desires and beliefs should be investigated but, initially, the job of the life coach is to get results – results, results and nothing but results!

A life coach who spends initial time with clients on anything other than results will diminish the impact of the coaching process by converting it from a client-and-coach relationship to a client-and-therapist situation. This is not on the life coaching agenda.

When the life coach focuses on results or outcomes and enables their clients to define and achieve these with ease, then the clients can eventually be guided to examine their beliefs and values. It is not a primary function of the life coach to change the client’s beliefs and values. Although changes in negative or undesirable values and beliefs can accelerate the achievement of outcomes, such changes should be addressed only with care and after a solid working relationship has been developed.

The main role of the life coach is to enable and empower the client. This is achieved using the “power of commitment” as leverage. Once clients agree to an activity they are committed to do it. This commitment is powerfully linked with the client’s identity. The life coach taps into this power.

The power of commitment relies on the social reinforcement of people conforming to who they say they are. It uses the power of honesty. Clients become dishonest if they do not fulfil their commitment to the coach. Humans are conditioned to believe that people who do not fulfil their commitments are not to be trusted. They are seen as shifty, unreliable and devious, as liars and cheats. Clients do not want their life coach to think they are any of these so they will move heaven and earth to achieve the actions, goals and targets that they have agreed.

Guilt is another factor in the power of commitment. When clients do not achieve the goal, they punish themselves with guilt. This self-flagellation gives them far more pain than anything the coach can inflict. Humans usually have a driving need for pleasure and a driving need to avoid pain. The pain-and-pleasure continuum used as a powerful leveraging tool can ensure that clients achieve results. It is a simple process but a highly effective one in getting breakthroughs for the client.

Life coaching helps clients in every aspect of their lives. Unlike sports coaching or business consultancy, it is holistic and considers every dimension of a client’s life. This includes business, career, health, social relationships, wealth and worth in contribution. If life coaching concentrates on just one area in isolation, and develops only that area, then the client’s life can become unbalanced. When clients overachieve at work but underachieve in personal relationships, the negative effects of their personal relationships can adversely affect their performance at work.

When clients exceed in business success, but ignore their health, they can develop ulcers or serious illnesses. In the cyclical pattern of life, this means that they must take time away from the business and the business may suffer as a consequence. The life coach can advantageously use this effect when persuading high achievers to look to their health and the contribution areas of their lives.

Conversely, if clients focus on their physical body to the extent that they miss or skip work in order to maintain the body beautiful, they may end up with financial problems. Financial problems will cause them to worry and lose sleep. Loss of sleep will have an adverse impact on their body beautiful and this angle can be the coach’s leverage to encourage these clients to focus on financial matters. Life is wonderfully cyclical, which gives the life coach great areas of persuasion when finding compelling reasons for clients to follow through on actions that will lead to achievement of goals in all areas of their lives.

Bringing balance and achievement into the lives of their clients produces rewards for the life coach, too. Helping clients to define goals in each life area and then working to help them to achieve results also brings an awareness of the importance of balance and harmony into the coach’s life.

Life coaching is a relationship of interdependency between coach and client. It is a relationship based on honesty, respect and the life coach’s unwavering beliefs in the client’s unlimited potential.

Summary

The physical or sports coach specialises in the body and a specific sportThe business consultant defines problems, provides answers and helps to implement them within the business environmentLife coaching focuses on results, results and nothing but resultsLife coaching works on all areas and aspects of lifeThe power of commitment is the accelerator of success

Chapter Two

Life Coaching Explained

‘Life Coaching removes the interference that stands between clients and the achievement of their potential’

Synopsis

It is your job as the life coach to help to identify the interferenceand remove it.It has nothing to do with giving advice orimposing knowledge on your clients.Life coaching is about removingthe obstructions and not adding any new ones.Concentrate onbalancing all the areas of your clients’lives.Believe that yourclients have all the resources they need to solve their ownproblemsand that it is your job to help them remove the obstaclesthat prevent this happening.

In the book The Inner Game of Tennis Tim Gallwey states that coaching can be outlined with the formula, “Potential minus Interference equals Performance.” It is your job as a life coach to help your client to identify the interference and remove it. That’s it!

Life coaching has absolutely nothing to do with giving advice, and this can be tough on you when you know the answer. And, more often than not, you will know the answer. Your strength lies in allowing your clients to find the answers for themselves.

This is good news for coaches because giving advice is not as easy as it seems. The advice-giving route carries huge responsibilities. If you think you always have to supply an answer, you will become very stressed and burdened with unnecessary troubles.

To ensure that you grasp the importance of this point, let me repeat: coaching is not about advising your clients. Many of the most outstanding coaches have little or no knowledge or experience in the areas where they coach their clients. This absence of knowledge provides a clean sheet for the client to work with and for the coach and eliminates limiting beliefs about the client’s potential or problems. Limiting beliefs are a main component of interference and are covered in Chapter Four.

Also, coaching is not about imposing knowledge or information on your clients. You must master your desire to tell your clients how they should do something. An outstanding coach elicits the answers from the clients as they guide them towards self-discovery. This may sound strange but, if you truly believe that your clients have all the resources they need, then all you have to do is to help them find the best pathway to successful results. Your clients will always be more committed to ideas and plans that they propose for themselves.

So life coaching is simple. All you have to do is to remove the obstructions without adding new ones as you concentrate on helping your clients to gain balance in all areas of their lives.

The obstructions are different for every client and also for every coach. It is these differences that make coaching such fun and such a challenge. An obstruction is anything that prevents your clients from achieving their potential for greatness. The biggest obstruction will be your clients’ belief systems. Chapter Four deals solely with matters of belief. Here are some common types of obstructions that you will encounter while coaching.

No clear vision or mission. Your clients don’t have a vision, a clear picture of what they want, or a mission statement (a sentence or two about who they are and what they stand for). Successful coaching relies on your clients determining exactly what they want to achieve in your coaching sessions or in their life.

Outcomes obscured. Some clients may come to you with several goals or outcomes. If they do not sound committed to achieving one of the outcomes it is possible that it belongs to their partner or another family member and is not their own. You must help your clients identify what they want and how they will personally gain once their own outcomes are achieved.

Selflast. My definition of selfless is “less for the self.” These clients are martyrs. You will have to work hard on reframing. Tell your clients the airline rule whereby, to ensure the child’s best chance of survival, parents are ordered to put the oxygen mask on themselves prior to placing one on the child. Ask how their entire family will benefit when your client is healthy, wealthy, happy and whole. Giving precious time to develop and attain health and wealth goals to secure the future for the whole family is true selflessness.

Agebarriers. Some clients say they would like to do something and then immediately dismiss the goal because of age. They feel too old (or too young) to start. You need to understand that. Even so, they do still have dreams and goals. It is your job to encourage your clients to realise their dreams. Start by considering the more easily achieved objectives that they may attempt. Your intention is to get them weaned on success and ultimately hooked so that they continue to work on their original dream. Today, as I write this chapter, a 90-year-old man is running in the London Marathon. He doesn’t believe in ageism.

Financial problems. Clients may come to you for help in solving their financial problems. You must make it absolutely clear that you are not a financial adviser and that any action agreed between you and your clients is done without obligation or liability. Ask your client to spend time identifying their outgoings and income without prejudice. The next step is for them to consult a qualified financial adviser. Explain that you will be there to help them once they have clear actions, set by their financial adviser. Do not offer financial advice or recommend ways of solving their financial crisis or you could be leaving yourself open to risk of prosecution. You should be aware that there are stringently applied laws that govern the provision of financial advice, either free or in return for a fee. The whole area is a minefield and the safest coaching position is to stay away. You can and should, however, guide your clients towards discovering their own solutions.

Family commitments. This obstacle is the regular cherry. Your clients will use it to opt out of their dreams. It is your job to help them balance the needs and demands of their families with their guilty conscience and their true and ultimate destiny. Never let clients use this obstacle. Help them understand that their dreams can be achieved without their families suffering. Show them how, by achieving their own dreams, their families will also benefit.

Herosyndrome. These clients always take on too much work. You need to uncover the reasons behind this action. Is it because they cannot say no? If this is the reason, recommend some really good books on assertiveness or suggest that they attend a short course where they will get the opportunity to practise the art of saying no. The other reason for accepting too much work is that they want to be seen as a hero. This is similar to the martyr – except that the hero enjoys the glory of being able to help and will willingly sacrifice themselves for the greater cause. If this is the underlying reason y ou could ask questions to expose this. Then move on to encourage exploration of alternative ways of experiencing the same feelings through achievement of your clients’ outcomes and goals.

Lottery madness. “One day my numbers will come up.” You need to get your clients to contemplate the true value of time and the here and now. Ask them what they could be doing towards their dreams right now. If you have a client who wants to own a house with a sea view, what could they do today, even in a small way, to help achieve the dream? For example, they could investigate the costs of this type of house; they could inspect the proposed location of the house or make a long-term plan that includes all the small tasks that must be done to help them achieve the dream. You might gently point out that, by putting their faith for the future in the notoriously long lottery odds, they are surrendering their ultimate freedom. This is the freedom to assume control of their lives by taking positive action that achieves the results that they desire.

Treading the treadmill. If your clients are in a rut and cannot see a way out, ask them to make a list of all the jobs, careers or professions that they could do if they had no restrictions. Explain that they must write all ideas down, as you want a very long list. They should send you a copy of the list before the next coaching session. Their next exercise is to prioritise the list in order of “ease to accomplish,” “cost-effectiveness,” “impact on family” and “impact on self”. The client then gives each idea a mark between one and four for each of these four categories and then a simple total for each idea. Sixteen is the maximum score for any one idea and four is the minimum score. Those with the lowest scores are the priority ideas to start working on.

You must guide your client to discover their task prioritisation. Simply ask open questions until they decide which ideas they can adopt. Then coach them towards achieving the change. If your client finds this concept difficult, you can simply copy the form below and let them have it as a guide.

List your ideas in the first column. Mark each idea from 1–4. 1 for low (i.e. easy to do, low cost, little effort) 4 for high (i.e. hard to do, high costs, huge effort) The best choice has the lowest marks

IdeasEase to doCostEffect on familyEffect on selfTotalsThe best choice

Time priorities. These clients come back time and time again without completing a task because they “did not have the time.” This is not normally a genuine time issue: it is a commitment obstruction. Genuine time issues are easily addressed by recommending that your clients attend a time-management course or read a book on time management. If you unearth a commitment issue, you must confront your client with their behaviour and remind them of the commitment they have made to themselves and to you. Remind them of the benefits that they said they would enjoy when they achieved their goal. Challenge them on why they consistently fail to deliver.

Hooked on adrenaline. Several of your clients may be burning out because they work too hard and play too little. They get their kicks from the adrenaline rush of a crisis. They claim that they perform better when they have tight deadlines. They love the buzz and they may not want to give it up. Assure these clients that the buzz of achieving their goals through their own efforts is an equally strong but healthy and lasting euphoria. You will need to use some of the advanced techniques covered in Chapter Eight on Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Chapter Seventeen, which deals with the Spiral Coaching model.

Trapped by trappings. The client wants to lead a simpler life but feels unable to live without the material things that their current lifestyle provides. Ask these clients to write a list of all the reasons why they want a simpler life and all the reasons for remaining in the current lifestyle. Follow up by using a priority list similar to the one described earlier in Treading the treadmill. Coaching is about helping your clients to achieve balance with all areas of life. For these clients, their fixation on materialism is tipping the balance.

Sapped by suckers. Some clients keep company with people who take the juice and energy out of them. These friends, colleagues, sport partners and even spouses continually suck the enthusiasm out of such clients by creating obstacles or excuses to prevent change. Ask your client to consider the possibility that their associates may feel threatened by the planned changes and may need to be reassured, by the client, that change will be good for all parties. If this reassurance does not work, they may need to make some serious decisions about the value of these friendships. Support and encourage your client to find new friendships in the areas of their goals. Explain that they should spend time wisely and with people who will help, rather than hinder, them. This transition may take some time, since certain clients will not want to surrender old friends for new ideas. A seamless and successful way to accomplish this transition is to agree constantly to tasks that encourage forming new friendships that leave little time for activities with the old, nonsupportive friends and that encourage the remaining small amount of time to be spent with only the old friends who are positive-minded.

Rebel rebels! Rebels have loads of things they want to do but, as soon as they commit to you, they feel the burning desire to kick back at you by not achieving. Strange but true. I know this because I used to be a rebel against myself. Once I had committed to achieving tasks with my life coach, I would deliberately not do them. We worked out a great system to overcome this destructive trait. I would commit to only one or two tasks, but I could do more if I wanted. At the same time, I could even choose not to do anything. All the possible tasks were listed with the complete understanding that I might not do any of them. This created the freedom for me to achieve without the feeling of being forced to do things. This technique is being used at this moment, as I choose to spend my Sunday writing instead of feeling I have to write.

Life coaching is about removing the obstacles and encouraging your clients to go beyond their perceived barriers to the accomplishment of their dreams and aspirations. It is about using communication skills to get the best from your clients and to help them to identify the obstacles in their daily life. The aim is for them to create a life that is full of balance and fulfilment. It is about being there for your clients when everyone else thinks they are mad, bad or sad. It is understanding that all your clients have immense potential that is just waiting to be released. It is about knowing that you, as a coach, can help.

Summary

Tim Gallwey states – “Potential minus Interference equals Performance”The biggest obstruction will be clients’ belief systemsThe main obstacles are: No clear vision or mission; Outcomes obscured; Self last; Age barriers; Financial problems; Family commitments; Hero syndrome; Lottery madness; Treading the treadmill; Time priorities; Hooked on adrenaline; Trapped by trappings; Sapped by suckers; Rebel rebels!Be there for your clients when everyone else thinks they are mad, bad or sad

Chapter Three

Coaching versusCounselling and Therapy

‘Counsellors and therapists may look to the past for answers. Life coaches deal with the now and the future’

Synopsis

There are links between therapies and life coaching but the linksare not in the style,methodologies,techniques or tools ofworking:they derive from cause and effect.Even if they have theabilityfor intervention,life coaches should always refer clientsbelieved to need therapeutic help to fully trained and qualifiedprofessionals.Life coaching and therapy have very differentagendas for the client.There is no officially recognised UK bodyfor professionally qualified life coaches.

To identify the differences between coaching, counselling and therapy, it is necessary to present an overview of the procedures that are sometimes mistakenly confused with coaching. These typically include counselling, physiotherapy, psychotherapy, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), hypnotherapy and psychiatry.

Take physiotherapy and coaching. At first glance there is no obvious link between them, although using one therapy might lead to using the other. Physiotherapy is, according to Chambers TwentiethCentury Dictionary, “treatment of disease ….” This has nothing whatsoever to do with life coaching. Life coaching does not deal with diseases of the body or mind. It does help with clients’ dis-ease, unease or dissatisfaction. It helps with issues of self-esteem and inability to achieve desired goals.

There may be a possible link of cause and effect. If, for example, a client comes to you for support and encouragement while they are receiving treatment from their physiotherapist. Then your coaching could take the form of motivating the client to keep performing the exercises recommended by their physiotherapy programme. By encouraging and congratulating the client on the improvements made and then helping them to set new targets, your coaching can have a huge impact on their speed of recovery.

The reverse of this is less pleasant. It could occur after you have encouraged your client to take up some form of exercise to improve their health. If, under your guidance and encouragement, they overstretch themselves and suffer injury, they may require the assistance of a physiotherapist. Do note, however, that these are simple “cause-and-effect” links. There are no links that concern the methods of working.

All of the other therapies mentioned generally involve some form of personal-history analysis. The client ordinarily has to go into their past for the therapist to devise a method of treatment. Thus the therapists need extensive knowledge and ability if they are to offer useful advice. Counselling, for example, may be needed following a single and clearly identified trauma such as bereavement, serious accident to self or family, divorce or redundancy.