The Vocational Calling for Highly Sensitive Persons E-Book

Luca Rohleder

• Herausgeber: dielus edition
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Englisch

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2025

Beschreibung

DISCOVER THE BRILLIANT GIFTS OF THE HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON. Highly sensitive people are well aware that there is something deep inside them, just waiting to be awakened. They know that they possess many talents but aren’t able to definitively name them. More often than not, this also means that they are not able to capitalize on their strengths. Instead, they frequently fear they will not be able to keep up with the new challenges of the ever-changing labor market. This sometimes leaves them on an unending and tortuous search for their ideal place in the working world. This book will assist you in the search for your own vocational calling. You will receive step-by-step guidance that will help you, too, to find fulfillment in a new world filled with insecurity, changing dynamics, and transformation. As a tool to help you achieve this, Luca Rohleder has developed a psychological model that divides the ego into three “ego states.” This will not only allow you to expand your degree of self-knowledge but will clarify many things you have previously found to be inexplicable. You will see that you not only possess brilliants gifts but that these gifts are actually guiding you to a very specific vocation.

Leseprobe

AUTHOR’S NOTE

This book differs from conventional self-help guides in that high sensitivity is not a scientifically recognized personality trait.

Any claim to have written a scientific study of the subject would therefore be a contradiction in terms. This will, incidentally, most likely also remain the case going forward, since in research and research publications on high sensitivity, the issue of self-diagnosis or self-attribution on the part of study participants or respondents cannot be resolved.

For this reason, this work presents a complementary psychological model as an approach to understanding high sensitivity. Additional major portions of the book are based on empirically proven data as well as on the ability to intuitively understand complex interrelationships.

Finally, it should be noted that this book is not intended as an instruction manual for self-treatment. Anyone experiencing psychological impairment is advised to seek professional help.

Where links to third-party websites occur in this book, no ownership or liability is assumed. These links refer solely to their status at the time of publication.

This book is also available as an printed softcover, ISBN 978-3-9823032-2-2.

The Vocational Calling for Highly Sensitive Persons

Author: Luca Rohleder

English translation: Dr. Cynthia Dyre

Publishing company: dielus edition, Bosestrasse 5, 04109 Leipzig, Germany

Based on: Die Berufung für Hochsensible, Luca Rohleder (german edition)

© 2022 dielus edition, all rights reserved.

This book has been published by an independent publishing house. The publisher affirms that no international investor groups, major publishers or other corporations have had any involvement in the book. The content of this guide is based exclusively on independent, expertise-based criteria.

This work is also protected by copyright. All rights to translation, reprints, presentation, use of illustrations and tables, use in radio broadcasts, microfilming, or reproduction by other means as well as storage in data processing systems are expressly reserved for the book in its entirety as well as for excerpts. Any reproduction of the work or of portions of the work, even in individual instances, are subject to the provisions of the German Copyright Act as amended from time to time. As a rule, such reproductions are subject to remuneration.

Images:

©iStock.com/janulla (Head)©iStock.com/Ola_Tarakanova (Butterflies)

ISBN-13:

9783819409912

„Letting go means having the courage to surrender tomorrow to its own destiny.“

Luca Rohleder

TABLE OF CONTENTS

 

Foreword

Part A: Past and Present

1  Why Am I Like This?

1.1  Newborn Ego State

1.2  Higher Ego State

1.3  Adult Ego State

1.4  Putting It All Together

2  What Gifts Lie Dormant Within Me?

2.1  Knowledge

2.2  Independence

2.3  Creative Powers

2.4  Putting It All Together

3  What Do I Need to Do to Let Go?

3.1  Taking Breaks

3.2  External Stimuli

3.3  The Mainstream

3.4  Your Income

3.5  Your Attitude Toward Your Job

3.6  Self-Centeredness

3.7  Self-Promotion

3.8  Sources of Stress

3.9  Putting It All Together

Part B: The Future

4  When Do I Most Enjoy My Job?

4.1  Reactions

4.2  Self-Esteem

4.3  Variety

4.4  Understanding

4.5  Putting It All Together

5  How Do I Find My Vocational Calling?

5.1  The Intellectualization Phase

5.2  The Overload Phase

5.3  The Life-Negating Phase

5.4  The Awakening Phase

5.5  The Liberation Phase

FOREWORD

 

This English translation is based on the latest edition of the German best-seller Die Berufung für Hochsensible and therefore reflects the most current information available.

Originally, my book was one of the very first on the topic of the highly sensitive person to appear in the German language. The idea for the original manuscript arose in the early 2010s, at a time when only a handful of authors had begun to write about the topic. Elaine Aron’s standard work The Highly Sensitive Person had served to generate interest in the subject. Her best-seller, the German translation of which was eventually published in the mid-2000s, not only gave birth to the term “highly sensitive,” but provided a comprehensive definition of it. In my subsequently published book, I therefore followed, to the greatest extent possible, Elaine Aron’s definition of high sensitivity.

The term “highly sensitive person” customarily appears as the acronym “HSP.” I have used this abbreviation throughout this book as well.

Beyond this, I would also like to take this opportunity to thank the many people who have already read this book. It is only thanks to them that this book has attained a total circulation in the six figures. This not only brought early awareness to a broad public of the issues facing highly sensitive people but has also inspired many other experts and authors to delve into the topic more deeply.

You may be wondering if you yourself are indeed a highly sensitive person. I can assure you that once you have read this book, you will have a definitive answer to that question. In any case, there is no doubt that this topic somehow relates to you – books have a way of appearing at the right time in the right place. At the very least, you have likely been confronted with the concept of high sensitivity, if not in connection with yourself personally, then through others in your closest professional or private circles.

It is most often the HSPs among us who experience the greatest difficulties in their professional lives. When it comes to our degree of social integration, our self-image, and our daily routines, our jobs are the decisive factor in determining these. Our professional lives have an enormous influence on our overall well-being. If things aren’t going well at the workplace, then things aren’t going well for us anywhere else. We may even lose sleep over this, meaning that we are then confronted with these problems twenty-four hours a day. If all of this escalates into looming existential fears, our jobs may even endanger our health.

As a result of all this, people tended to only come to me for help when things had already reached a boiling point – their problems had reached crisis state. This is simply human nature; in general, we don’t call for an expert until the damage is almost done. This is when I would encounter employees who were in a state of absolute desperation, and they were quick to discuss the major existential issues they faced.

This meant that most of the people who came to me for help were already experiencing a psychological crisis. Over the years, I have been confronted with the entire spectrum of psychological conditions, which has often led me to walk a fine line between offering specific work-related advice or life guidance.

These days, unfortunately, I have less and less time to devote to my work as a coach and trainer. I see the focus of my current work more as that of enlightenment. I also want to spend more time promoting the topic of high sensitivity among young experts, which is why, several years ago, I established one of the largest networks for highly sensitive people in the German-speaking world.

I nevertheless look back on a career that spanned more than two decades. I can usually tell just by looking at a job application if the person is highly sensitive. This is evidenced in the job moves, career changes, leaves of absence, sick leaves, and failed attempts at entrepreneurship. Being constantly on the search for something new is one of the typical signs of a highly sensitive person. This has caused some people so much anguish that they felt compelled to pursue psychological counseling.

The aim of this guide is to stop that process before it even begins. I want to show HSPs that there is still much hope, if they will only learn more about the topics of personal growth and the intuitively led life. I have poured the totality of my twenty years of professional experience into this. It will become clear that there is a specific reason why people are born highly sensitive. If you look at the entire life spans of these people, you will also see that a common thread runs through them, pointing to a specific vocational calling. You need only reach out and seize it.

And so, here is what I will show you in this book: that you are indeed here to fulfill a very specific task. In the words of Martin Luther: “The external vocation of every person is based on an internal calling.”

If you truly are highly sensitive, you will be amazed at how unambiguously your specific vocational path is laid out before you. In writing this book, my desire is to help you to put an end to your (perhaps agonizing) search for your vocational calling.

Luca Rohleder

(www.hochsensibilitaet-netzwerk.com)

Part A

Past and Present

The definition of insanity is doing the same thingover and over again and expecting different results.

(Albert Einstein)

1Why Am I Like This?

 

It has probably already occurred to you that throughout your entire life, you’ve been preoccupied with the question of “why.” “Why am I like this?” “Why am I living in a world like this?” “Why can’t I find the right career for me?” “Why does everyone else seem to be doing better than I am?” “Why did he just say that?” “Why does everything seem so senseless?” “Why does everybody lie?”

Why, why, why …

To help explain what you’re experiencing, I’d like to introduce a psychological model. The concept behind it is based on the idea that your ego consists of multiple ego states, and that one of these ego states represents your inner child.

The theory of the “inner child” originated from a psychological approach used to understand the internal realm of lived experiences and was made well-known through books by John Bradshaw and Erika Chopich/Margaret Paul. It is also an element in transactional analysis, developed by American psychiatrist Eric Berne.

The inner child signifies and symbolizes emotions, feelings, memories, and experiences from our childhoods. This spans the entire spectrum of intense feelings, from unbridled joy to devastating pain, including happiness and sorrow, intuition and curiosity, and feelings of abandonment, fear, and anger. The inner child encompasses everything we associate with being, feeling, and experiencing, all of which are processed by specific areas of the brain. This model presupposes an ego that is divided into an observing, reflective INNER ADULT and a sensing, experiencing INNER CHILD.

This representation of your inner psyche may initially sound a bit like pop-science, but it is actually a wonderfully intelligent approach to helping you better understand yourself. It will provide answers to your many questions of why. There is a slight catch, however: It is not very well suited for helping you understand your specific situation as a highly sensitive person. To be able to arrive at a thorough description of HSPs, I believe that we need to identify not just two, but rather three ego states. I’m therefore going to add in a third one: a HIGHER EGO STATE. I’m also going to replace the term “inner child” with NEWBORN EGO STATE. This will make the distinction between HSPs and non-highly sensitive people significantly clearer. Taken together, the following THREE-EGO-STATE MODEL emerges:

1.NEWBORN EGO STATE (NES)

2.HIGHER EGO STATE (HES)

3.ADULT EGO STATE (AES)

In subsequent chapters, I will provide a more detailed explanation of these terms. You will see that this THREE-EGO-STATE MODEL allows a virtually seamless professionally based identification of the traits found in highly sensitive people. Let’s begin now with your first ego state.

1.1NEWBORN EGO STATE

 

You are going to learn that your personal inner child is not a typical one. Instead, it displays many characteristics that we would more commonly associate with a newborn baby. To illustrate this, I’ll begin with a description of the traditional philosophy of the inner child. Let’s take a look at the fundamental needs of all children:

•Children need to play, run around, and have fun.

•Children need to learn and have new experiences.

•Children need social interaction, to have friends, and be loved.

•Children need to be protected and cared for.

As a rule, childhood and youth are the happiest times of our lives. Nevertheless, most of us will, sooner or later, be forced to take on the responsibilities of adulthood. At the very latest, when the time comes to start our own families, there will be new personal challenges we will have to overcome. The ADULT EGO STATE will become more and more significant. Reality steps in. We become caught up in our parental duties and new tasks determine our daily routines. What adults have (hopefully) received as children, they must now pass on to their own children:

•Adults provide their children with opportunities for play, a variety of activities, and joyful experiences.

•Adults send their children to school; they teach and nurture them.

•Adults provide their children with love and social interaction.

•Adults ensure that their children have structure, support, protection, a safe home, and financial security.

The process is now reversed. No longer the “takers,” adults become the givers. As we mature into adulthood, this basic principle of human development is virtually universal. However, it isn’t the case that the ADULT EGO STATE now simply takes over and replaces our childlike personality – rather, it augments it. This means that every adult still retains a certain childlikeness. We can see this in the fact that adults still have some of the same needs as children – it’s just that once we reach a certain age, we describe them differently:

•Adults want to enjoy new experiences, to experiment, to be adventurous (play, have fun).

•Adults learn a profession, educate themselves further, and gain life experience (learn and experience).

•Adults seek out friends and partners; they may marry (love and social interaction).

•Adults create a home, earn money, and ensure that they have financial reserves (protection and security).

So, if you describe the general characteristics and basic needs of a child and then express these in adult terms, you arrive at the definition of the inner child. Your first ego state thus represents your own fundamental needs. Whenever you successfully satisfy these longings, you experience positive emotions.

The inner child is therefore responsible for our happiness, enjoyment of life, self-esteem, love, etc. When things go wrong, however, or if some of your emotional needs are not met, you will, unfortunately, also experience fear, sorrow, anger, disappointment, etc. The inner child represents the entire spectrum of your emotional existence.

If you were able to unerringly analyze the experiences of your earliest childhood (which has been proven by modern psychology to be impossible), this would then also provide you with information about your emotional life as an adult.

In short, if we describe the basic needs of children and then express these in adult terms, we will have identified the emotional longings of all human beings, even those who are long past infancy. So far, so good.

However, as previously mentioned, this philosophy is not completely applicable to your highly sensitive nature. In your case in particular, you will see that the best depiction of your emotional disposition is not the image of a growing child, but rather that of an infant still in the phase before, during, or shortly after birth. To be able to shed a light on the mysterious world of high sensitivity, we must first examine the basic needs of infants.

Your inner child is more like an inner infant.

For instance, newborns are not in the least interested in playmates. Nor can they run around the house or figure out what role they need to play to best fit in with their surroundings. And they have absolutely no desire to build sandcastles or even own any possessions.

The basic needs of these adorable, yet vulnerable little creatures are completely different. All they require is protection, warmth, nourishment, and someone who will lovingly care for them. Your inner child thus finds itself in a far more existential phase of life than the inner child of a non-highly sensitive person.

As already mentioned, it is expressly this distinction that my three-ego-state model was designed to illuminate. Throughout the rest of this book, I will exclusively refer to the emotional part of your ego as the NEWBORN EGO STATE (NES).

You may even notice physical indications that you carry this NEWBORN EGO STATE within you. After all, your external appearance is also a reflection of your inner self. It is highly probable that your eyes are still the exact same color they were at birth. In your case, your irises probably never got darker. While many newborns’ eyes change color soon after birth, your eyes may have remained blue. Or perhaps you have the same thin or fair skin with which you were born. It may also be that, like a baby, you still feel the need to sleep and eat fairly often. In extreme cases, you may, deep inside, have a profound feeling that you need someone to provide for you, protect you, and care for you (just as a newborn baby does).

Perhaps your only indication is an under-developed immune system – after all, this matures only years after we are born. Or maybe you’ve been in a years-long, seemingly futile battle to lose your baby fat.

It could also be that your skin is baby-like: It may be so sensitive that you are practically compulsive about removing all the tags from your clothing. You may also have been one of those children who complained to their long-suffering mothers that everything itched – to the point where she no longer knew what she could buy for you to wear.

Your sensitivity may force you to keep tugging and pulling at your clothing until even the tiniest annoying wrinkle has been smoothed out. And you may constantly find yourself sliding around in your seat because your thin skin makes it impossible to find a comfortable position, or the chair is just too hard. Tight clothing or clothes that cut into your stomach or your waist may also be difficult for you to tolerate.

The same applies to those flabby little rolls on your stomach – the ones that are so small that no one else even notices them, but that drive you crazy. Because your skin is so sensitive, you are constantly aware of them. This is likely to somehow make sweatpants or loose clothing your apparel of choice.

How many typical characteristics of a newborn can you identify in yourself?

Generally speaking, the NES may manifest itself differently in every HSP. Yet, what is notable is that not only is the skin hypersensitive, but so is – and especially so – the abdominal area. After all, this is the region of the body that is associated with our entire emotional spectrum. Of course, it is also associated with everything related to how we process the food we eat. It stands to reason that for us to be able to determine what is filling up our bellies, our sensory organs need to be highly developed. It may therefore be that you have excellent vision, a strong sense of smell, extremely sensitive hearing or sense of touch, or highly sensitive taste buds.

Even memories of your time in your mother’s womb play an important role for you, at least on a subliminal level. The comfort and security you felt as you lingered in that protective and nurturing environment are something you may still be seeking to recreate – perhaps by sitting on a soft sofa, wrapped up in a warm cuddly blanket. If, while doing so, you are also enjoying some culinary treats in the comfort of your own beautifully furnished home, then this situation comes quite close to recreating what you imagine those ideal moments to have been.

Something else you may do, however, is that as you are falling asleep, you pull yourself into a typical fetal position.

Basically, you’ve never stopped longing for the security you felt in the womb. Perhaps the world you encountered during your birth has seemed, from the beginning, to be too cold and too dangerous. If so, you then determined that you would remain a newborn, so that you would never be too far away from your protective mother.

Even later, as you became an adolescent, you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were somehow not adequately equipped to handle the harshness of reality. Even when you were surrounded by people your own age, you had the feeling that you were somehow smaller, more vulnerable, or simply different. Perhaps your peers even seemed like strangers to you. And this literally compelled you to ask yourself over and over again whether you even belonged to this world. You never felt you were on the same page as others. It may also be that your childhood consisted only of “fight or flight” moments or that you decided to remain a loner.

All in all, the presence of a NEWBORN EGO STATE constitutes a special challenge. It usually manifests itself in physical and emotional sensitivities, frequent conflicts with reality, and a great deal of personal drama. In this book, I will discuss these topics in greater detail as well.

If you feel that you, too, because of your high sensitivity, are confronted by these kinds of challenges, please don’t think that the fates have somehow betrayed you.

Your NEWBORN EGO STATE has a deeper significance.

The very fact that you carry within yourself not just a conventional inner child, but a super-sensitive NEWBORN EGO STATE, is the one essential factor that allows a vital trait of your being to emerge. This makes you a very special person.

1.2HIGHER EGO STATE

 

Your inner child is still at the developmental stage of a newborn – the effects of this character extreme will be the decisive factor in your vocational calling.

Even though your initial reaction may be that this all sounds somewhat demeaning, the fact that you possess an NES means that you still retain a strong connection to the greater whole. You essentially have a direct link to a subtle source of information. This source is known by many different names. You may call it higher knowledge, instinct, guardian angel, God, soul, gut feeling, or something else entirely (completely in line with your personal beliefs). Throughout this book, I myself will refer to all of this as your INTUITION.

I haven’t selected the term HIGHER EGO STATE here to indicate that you live in some sort of lofty, detached world, but because your instinct/intuition operates on a fundamentally higher level than your intellect. To put it another way, your intuition always knows better than your conscious mind. Incidentally, from an evolutionary perspective, this makes complete sense, since without their instincts, animals would never be able to survive. After all, in comparison to the most highly evolved animal, i. e., humans, they possess only minimal consciousness (depending on their evolutionary stage).

People have been arguing for millennia about exactly how our intuition actually works, so I am obviously not going to be able to present you here with some wise, conclusive answer to that question. I personally feel quite drawn to quantum mechanics and astrophysics. In these disciplines, media that our conscious minds cannot grasp are referred to as either quantum level or dark matter/dark energy (I have written a science novel on this topic: “Die Suche nach Gott” (The Search for God)). Of course, you don’t have to agree with this physics-based perspective – there is absolutely no requirement to do so. In any explanations regarding the media your intuition accesses, I will keep the discussion quite general. My only concrete premise is that our intuition is interconnected with something not consciously perceptible to our other senses. I will simply use a universal term to refer to this mysterious source of information: the INVISIBLE WORLD. As you encounter this term, you can mentally replace or supplement it based on your own worldview, fundamental values, or even your spiritual beliefs.

Highly sensitive people still possess a direct connection to the INVISIBLE WORLD.

Your second ego state therefore consists of your HIGHER EGO STATE, which is responsible for the functioning of your intuition. In and of itself, there is nothing unique about this – it can be said about virtually every living earthly creature.

For at least a certain period after birth, all humans still have a direct connection to the INVISIBLE WORLD. Mothers who attentively observe their infants or toddlers, or listen carefully to them (once they begin to speak their first words), will become aware of these enduring primal instincts, which are accessing something we ourselves can’t properly comprehend. As the child grows up, however, conscious thinking gradually and increasingly displaces this direct connection. Our actions are no longer guided by those primal instincts – our free will and intellect take control. Rather than purely following our instincts, our lives become increasingly guided by our consciously experienced minds.

However, by virtue of the fact that you are an HSP, your experience is quite different – after all, you possess an NES, not a conventional inner child. This means that in your case, your primal instincts will not necessarily completely fade away over the course of your life. What distinguishes you most from non-highly sensitive people is the fact that in your particular case, your intuitive connection has been significantly less weakened. Consequently – just as do babies – you still have access to this direct primal channel to the INVISIBLE WORLD.

HSPs retain all of their primal instincts.

You, therefore, would be able to survive in the real world even if you didn’t possess consciousness, much as do the flora and fauna. Even in the absence of a highly developed cerebrum, animals and plants “know” what they must do.

HSPs have the ability to lead their lives without having to consciously think about it.

Even if your first thought is, “This can’t possibly all be true – I’ve driven myself crazy for ages with all the thinking I do about my life,” I can only tell you this: It is probably all for nothing.

Your skilled intuition is the single most important characteristic of your highly sensitive being. This would allow your HES, all by itself, to provide you with adequate protection and life guidance. Your outstanding ability to still retain possession of these primal instincts is, in a manner of speaking, preserved in you forever. It is an enviable gift, one that has the potential to provide you with a carefree future.

If, for example, you were out hiking in the mountains and got lost, this wouldn’t be a particularly dangerous situation for you as an HSP. You would actually just need to wander around, not consciously thinking about anything, and everything would work itself out. Seemingly by chance, you would come across helpful clues or perhaps even encounter other people who would point you in the right direction. Or, as if by magic, some other form of help would appear. You, meanwhile, would think that this was all just a wonderful coincidence (I’m so glad I ran into you – the angels must have sent you my way …)

You actually have the ability to put your life fully in the hands of your intuition. Your gut instincts could lead you directly into the happiest of circumstances. You could essentially find yourself in the right place at the right time, meeting the right people – and your conscious mind wouldn’t have the faintest idea how all of this had happened.

Highly sensitive people have the ability to live a purely INTUITIVE LIFE.

So, whenever you make decisions without outside influence and without giving them too much thought – whenever you simply do something, or even simply stop doing something for a moment – things will work out in your favor.

Especially in dangerous situations, when your body shifts into emergency mode and your brain is at maximum attention (focused), you can rely on your intuition. This is evidenced by the fact that in these types of situations, it is always, of all people, the HSPs who suddenly emerge from their natural reservedness and take charge.

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