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Does your church make you uncomfortable? It's easy to dream about the "perfect" church—a church that sings just the right songs set to just the right music before the pastor preaches just the right sermon to a room filled with just the right mix of people who happen to agree with you on just about everything. Chances are your church doesn't quite look like that. But what if instead of searching for a church that makes us comfortable, we learned to love our church, even when it's challenging? What if some of the discomfort that we often experience is actually good for us? This book is a call to embrace the uncomfortable aspects of Christian community, whether that means believing difficult truths, pursuing difficult holiness, or loving difficult people—all for the sake of the gospel, God's glory, and our joy.
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“As I read through Uncomfortable, I am strangely comforted. With all the talk about young Christians being disenchanted with the local church, it is refreshing to hear Brett McCracken, a Millennial, speak so affirmatively on her behalf. I am moved by Brett’s grown-up perspective in these pages, a perspective that champions the church as a family not a club, a sinner’s hospital not a social network, and a commitment not a consumer product. For any serious Christian, Brett’s words are a wake-up call to engage—indeed, to love and devote ourselves to—this often messy, high-maintenance, painfully ordinary but also glorious, life-giving, and forever-beloved band of misfits that Jesus calls his wife. If Jesus has so tethered himself to the church, dare we untether ourselves from her? This book is a must-read.”
Scott Sauls, senior pastor, Christ Presbyterian Church, Nashville, Tennessee; author, Jesus Outside the Lines; Befriend; and From Weakness to Strength
“In a generation of dissatisfied consumers hoping to find our perfectly customized Dream Church™, Brett McCracken is the herald of a counterintuitive gospel: ‘Take comfort! Church is supposed to be uncomfortable!’ That’s because McCracken knows it’s precisely in embracing the uncomfortable truths of the gospel and immersing ourselves in the uncomfortable unity-in-diversity of the body that we are transformed into the image of Christ—the God who endured the discomfort of the cross to bring us resurrection life. In that sense, Uncomfortable is a sharp application of Christ’s perennial call to come and die to the particular temptations of the North American church. A helpful corrective and an ultimately hopeful invitation.”
Derek Rishmawy, blogger, Reformedish; cohost, Mere Fidelity podcast
“As an inhabitant of the Western world, I take comfort for granted, and I like it that way. I expect to wear comfortable clothes, sleep in a comfortable bed, and have comforting food in the refrigerator. All my cultural conditioning teaches me to expect—and demand—comfort. Yet as a pastor and a disciple, I know that the demands of the gospel, while ultimately comforting, frequently are not comfortable. In this excellent book, Brett McCracken identifies and prods around many of the things that make Christian community uncomfortable: he had me itching and scratching! Brett demonstrates how rather than fleeing discomfort we need to lean into it, and in so doing find what is more deeply satisfying than the shallow comforts of our consumer age. I encourage you to read this book and embrace the itch!”
Matthew Hosier, pastor, Gateway Church, Poole, United Kingdom; contributor, thinktheology blog
“We live in a culture oriented entirely toward comfort, and the church is not immune from its lure. Brett McCracken offers a timely and needed reminder that the call for Christians is a different one, but one that brings blessings richer than mere comfort. Uncomfortable will make you uncomfortable in the best of ways. Every believer needs to read this book and heed its call.”
Karen Swallow Prior, author, Booked: Literature in the Soul of Me and Fierce Convictions: The Extraordinary Life of Hannah More: Poet, Reformer, Abolitionist
“Ahhhh, comfort. It’s the siren call to our human hearts, beckoning us to find, acquire, and maintain lives of ease. Such a bent, however, is incompatible with a vibrant Christian faith lived within a thriving Christian community. In Uncomfortable, Brett McCracken alerts us to the toxic ways comfort infects and hinders our faith—and how God meets our desire for comfort in gloriously unexpected ways. McCracken urges us to seek something greater than comfort: true life and true faith in Christ, found just beyond the borders of our comfort zone.”
Erin Straza, author, Comfort Detox; managing editor, Christ and Pop Culture
“Americans are experts at avoiding the uncomfortable—be it awkward conversations, conflicted relationships, or lifestyle changes. But Jesus points us to a better way. In this book, McCracken shows us how the greatest glories for disciples of Jesus are often found in the most uncomfortable places his voice calls us and how the real church is not an idealized utopia beyond the fray of history, but rather Jesus powerfully present among his often muddled, messy, and awkward—yes, uncomfortable—bands of followers today.”
Joshua Ryan Butler, pastor, Imago Dei Community, Portland, Oregon; author, The Skeletons in God’s Closet and The Pursuing God
“Brett McCracken challenges us to face one of the greatest fears of contemporary culture: discomfort. Rather than retreating into a soothing world where everyone’s ‘just like me’ or embracing the distractions of technology and consumerism, Brett calls us to life in community with God’s people, where awkwardness, disappointment, and frustration are the norm. It’s in this way of life—embracing the uncomfortable—that we’ll find the richest experience of God’s grace and the community our hearts truly desire. In a world where church is often just one more consumeristic choice, this is a much-needed book.”
Mike Cosper, founder and director, Harbor Institute for Faith and Culture
“Anyone who looks closely at modern Christian life can see signs of the insidious self-centeredness by which we sinners are tempted to transform the gospel into something that suits our tastes and fits our plans. McCracken carries out that close examination; in fact, in this book he equips us to pursue that false comfort into all of its hiding places and root it out in Jesus’s name and for the sake of the gospel.”
Fred Sanders, professor of theology, Torrey Honors Institute, Biola University
“Sometimes church feels like an annoying family member you would rather see only at Thanksgiving and Christmas. We want a church that is cool and suits our tastes, not the frustrating institution that carries around the ‘shame of the cross.’ Brett’s smoothly written book has cast all the awkwardness of church into a new and meaningful light for me. Like a Puritan voice for the cool, anti-institutional, twenty-first-century Christian, Brett charges his readers to stay and commit to the church as Christ’s bride.”
Emily Belz, journalist, World Magazine
Uncomfortable
Uncomfortable
The Awkward and Essential Challenge of Christian Community
Brett McCracken
Uncomfortable: The Awkward and Essential Challenge of Christian Community
Copyright © 2017 by Brett McCracken
Published by Crossway1300 Crescent StreetWheaton, Illinois 60187
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher, except as provided for by USA copyright law. Crossway® is a registered trademark in the United States of America.
Published in association with the literary agency of Wolgemuth & Associates, Inc.
Cover design: Micah Lanier
First printing 2017
Printed in the United States of America
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations marked ASV are from the American Standard Version of the Bible.
Scripture references marked NIV are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
All emphases in Scripture quotations have been added by the author.
Trade paperback ISBN: 978-1-4335-5425-4ePub ISBN: 978-1-4335-5428-5PDF ISBN: 978-1-4335-5426-1Mobipocket ISBN: 978-1-4335-5427-8
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: McCracken, Brett, 1982- author.
Title: Uncomfortable: the awkward and essential challenge of Christian community / Brett McCracken.
Description: Wheaton: Crossway, 2017. | Includes bibliographical references and index.
Identifiers: LCCN 2016058581 (print) | LCCN 2017032732 (ebook) | ISBN 9781433554261 (pdf) | ISBN 9781433554278 (mobi) | ISBN 9781433554285 (epub) | ISBN 9781433554254 (tp)
Subjects: LCSH: Communities–Religious aspects–Christianity. | Interpersonal
relations–Religious aspects–Christianity. | Church.
Classification: LCC BV4517.5 (ebook) | LCC BV4517.5 .M33 2017 (print) | DDC 250--dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2016058581
Crossway is a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.
2020-11-20 02:10:27 PM
To the saints of Southlands Church
and the beloved Bride everywhere
Contents
Foreword by Russell Moore
Introduction: My Dream Church
Part 1 Uncomfortable Faith
1 Embrace the Discomfort
2 The Uncomfortable Cross
3 Uncomfortable Holiness
4 Uncomfortable Truths
5 Uncomfortable Love
6 Uncomfortable Comforter
7 Uncomfortable Mission
Part 2 Uncomfortable Church
8 Uncomfortable People
9 Uncomfortable Diversity
10 Uncomfortable Worship
11 Uncomfortable Authority
12 Uncomfortable Unity
13 Uncomfortable Commitment
14 Countercultural Comfort
Acknowledgments
Notes
General Index
Scripture Index
Foreword
Several years ago, when I was about to speak in a seminary chapel, the seminary’s president introduced me and noted that my sons were with me in the front row. He announced each of their names and asked them to stand while the congregation applauded. When he arrived at my then-three-year-old son, the service took a turn. My son—knowing the eyes in the large room were all on him—turned ashen-faced and bolted down the aisle toward the doors. I went after him, but could barely keep up. I caught him right as he was hurrying out the double doors into the sunlight outside. “Where are you going?” I asked. He, through tears, said, “I just had to get out; they were all laughing at me!” I tried to explain that the congregation was not, in fact, laughing at him, but were instead just trying to make him feel welcome. By the pull I felt as his body still leaned toward the exit, I could tell he wasn’t convinced.
In truth, I kind of knew exactly what he felt. I remembered what it was like as a child to have everyone around the table singing “Happy Birthday” while they were all looking at me. I remember the sense of exposure, of uncomfortable scrutiny, that came over me. What my son and my earlier self had felt was the sense of awkwardness—of being on center stage but not knowing what to do. You may not have ever felt that way due to attention directed your way. Maybe you’re the kind of extrovert who would beam at having all attention on you for a moment. But I imagine for all of you reading this page, there are moments when you feel as though you could cringe and shrink back into the shadows.
That sense of awkwardness can hinder us, in many ways, but it can also be a gift. That uncomfortable feeling can remind us that there are times when we don’t know just what to say or do. It can give us a compassion for the occasional awkwardness of those around us. It can remind us that we are part of a humanity that, from our near-earliest history, found ourselves furtively hiding in the bushes from the presence of our God (Gen. 3:8–10). We often, though, want to protect ourselves from awkwardness. We want to appear to know just what to say, just what to do, just how to act—in ways that can either distinguish us or help us to blend in with whatever herd we’ve chosen. Sometimes that self-protection means deflecting the very reality—presence and relatedness—that can draw us out of ourselves and toward wholeness. The intense moment, the “I love you” or the “I am concerned about you” or the “Here’s what you mean to me” moment, becomes deflected with a joke or a change of subject. Sometimes it is not comfortable to be loved—especially if you don’t believe you are worth loving.
This book, by one of the country’s most gifted and respected young writers, shines the uncreated light of the gospel onto our most awkward and uncomfortable hiding places. This book demonstrates how the Christian gospel and the Christian community undo our sense of the “privacy” of our lives, moving issue-by-issue through some of the most challenging areas of belief and practice. This book is solidly evangelical in the best sense of that word—anchored to the gospel and embedded with the invitation to find life and rest in the crucified Christ Jesus. I plan to give away many copies of this book, especially to those who are new to the gospel, furtively starting to feel their way around in what can seem to be a strange new subculture.
As you read this book, I would challenge you to ask yourself where you feel uncomfortable. Where do you wish to deflect the attention of the biblical witness, of God himself? Asking those questions might prompt you to turn those areas over in concentrated prayer, or they might spur you to seek help from those in your church community. At the very least, these questions will help you to see that you are not alone. Our sense of awkwardness—however pronounced and however frequently experienced—really isn’t our problem. Our problem is that we live in a culture of comfort and conformity—a culture from which the kingdom of God calls us into a new creation that seems upside-down in comparison. Our problem, in this time-between-the-times, is that we rarely feel uncomfortable enough. This book can help us.
Russell Moore
Introduction
My Dream Church
As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious, you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.
1 Peter 2:4–5
Those who love their dream of a Christian community more than they love the Christian community itself become destroyers of that Christian community even though their personal intentions may be ever so honest, earnest and sacrificial.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer
If you could dream up the perfect church, what would it look like?
On days when I’m sitting in my real church and feeling frustrated by something, I sometimes daydream about my ideal church: the one where I would feel completely understood, where my perspectives would be valued, where my gifts and passions would flourish. I dream about a church I would always be proud (and never embarrassed) to call home; a church so amazing that any non-Christian who visited would never want to leave.
My hypothetical dream church would look something like the following. (If you’d prefer to skip over my self-indulgent dream church description, simply turn to page 23 to resume the actual argument of this book.)
The Building
My dream church (hereafter simply called DC) would be located in a major world city, in a neighborhood with ethnic, cultural, and class diversity.
DC would be architecturally contemporary and minimalist, environmentally sustainable (LEED-certified), with nods to classic church aesthetics. DC would be celebrated as a forward-thinking example of responsible urban design and sacred space, elegantly balancing practicality with superfluous beauty. The church’s sanctuary would be the architectural focal point and have such great acoustics and layout that it would become a desirable venue for concerts, arts, and community events.
Included in the church building would be a small number of offices and classrooms, a large all-purpose room, a bookstore, and a fitness center. A small green space on the church’s property would include a community garden growing a variety of organic produce. As part of the church’s energy-efficient design, its roof would also be green, featuring herb gardens and prayer spaces.
In addition to the main church building, members of DC would own and operate a highly rated restaurant, coffee shop, and roastery in the building next door, featuring ingredients from the church’s gardens.
Mercy Ministries and Community Outreach
DC would be a church very much about demonstrating the transformative power of the gospel through mercy, justice, and outreach efforts. Some of these efforts would be entirely church-driven, but many of them would be partnerships for the common good with local nonprofit and civic organizations.
All church members (including middle school and high school youth) would participate in one or more service opportunities for the community, such as: local food banks, after-school tutoring, nursing home visitation, crisis pregnancy centers, women’s shelters, or anti-trafficking task forces. In partnership with a local rescue mission, DC’s restaurant kitchen would cook free community meals on select weeknights, and the church would open its all-purpose room on several nights a week as an emergency homeless shelter.
As one of the city’s finest musical venues, DC’s beautiful church sanctuary would be rented out multiple nights a week as a concert venue. The church’s public arts and community events committee would organize the venue’s calendar with lectures, concerts, and film screenings year round. The church’s sanctuary would be a vibrant hub of the city’s civic life and arts scene.
Additionally, DC’s lobby would serve as a community art space where artists from both inside and outside the church could display and sell their work. DC’s bookstore would sell Bibles and books but also artisan goods made by church and community members, as well as coffee beans from the adjacent roastery and single-varietal jams made from the church’s organic garden. A percentage of sales from these goods would go toward DC’s mercy and justice fund.
The church’s adjacent restaurant and coffee shop would also play an integral role in community outreach. Open all week, these eateries would provide community dining and study spaces as well as venues for poetry readings and concerts. The restaurant/coffee shop’s kitchen and wait staff would be partially funneled from a local job training organization that helps homeless people, ex-convicts, and unemployed people develop skills to earn a living.
DC’s fully equipped fitness center would provide another service to the community, offering various fitness classes, CrossFit, and personal training throughout the week at rates cheaper than typical gym memberships.
DC’s all-purpose room and classrooms would be open periodically for outreach classes during the week, including Alpha for skeptics with questions about Christianity; Celebrate Recovery groups for those struggling with addictions; and a six-week premarital course offered a few times a year for seriously dating or engaged couples.
Theology
Theologically, DC would be conservative and Reformed, though not afraid to preach and celebrate the best contributions of Wesleyan and Pentecostal theology and even the occasional Eastern Orthodox or Catholic thinker (not to mention N. T. Wright!). The church would be thoroughly gospel-centered, Spirit-led, and missionally minded. Both the five Solas and the charismatic gifts would be inescapable in the church’s day-to-day life. A portrait of Martyn Lloyd-Jones would hang prominently in one of the church offices.
Structurally, DC would be elder-led, with preaching alternating between elders and a few non-elders with preaching gifts. Paid staff would be minimal as the church membership’s high volunteer percentage would bear the load of most all programs and functions of the church.
Though Word-centric, DC would have a robust theology of the Holy Spirit and balance the tensions therein. Other things DC would hold in healthy tension: local and global mission, engaging the culture with truth and love, preaching the gospel and demonstrating it in deed.
Multiplication and church planting would be central to DC’s mission. Member growth (mostly from new converts through outreach programs like Alpha) would lead not to new buildings or bigger sanctuaries, but to new church plants. As part of its church-planting orientation, DC would be part of a global network of church-planting partners, resulting in close relationships with churches both domestically and internationally. This would afford DC frequent opportunities to send and receive ministry teams for mutual building up and encouragement. New churches would be planted out of these partnerships and networks rather than solely relying on DC’s resources and members.
DC would have a robust, Kuyperian theology of vocation and an intellectual bent appropriate to its urban context. Except for a bit more on the Holy Spirit, the “Vision and Values” section of Tim Keller’s Redeemer Presbyterian sums up DC’s theology pretty well.1
Sundays
A typical Sunday morning at DC would begin in the lobby with coffee and pastries (chocolate blackberry croissants, maple bacon biscuits, lemon pistachio polenta cake, and so on) from the adjacent roastery and restaurant.
Worship services would incorporate liturgy and creeds, confession, read and spontaneous prayer, an exchanging of “the peace,” thirty to forty-five minutes of preaching, instrumental music, and extended singing time before and after the preaching.
Music on stage would be minimalist by modern evangelical church standards, with largely acoustic bands of fewer than five musicians. Piano, acoustic guitar, string trios, and French horn would be regularly incorporated, as would a variety of music styles from other cultures and contexts. A beautiful pipe organ (cherished not only by the elderly congregants) would figure prominently into at least one hymn each Sunday. Musicians would also be encouraged to write, record, and perform original music, largely inspired by biblical poetry and the Psalter.
Sunday morning services would always incorporate communion, with congregants standing and taking the elements collectively as an elder spoke the corresponding liturgy. Each Sunday morning would also end with a time of response, prayer, and a clear call to conversion. Planned and spontaneous baptisms would take place regularly, as multiple conversions would be a weekly occurrence.
Following services, churchgoers would be invited to stay for a community lunch in the all-purpose room. Catered by the adjacent restaurant and prominently featuring the best of the church garden’s seasonal produce, these lunches would often last for hours and hours, featuring wine and laughter, bocce ball games on the lawn, tea and scones on the roof, walks around town, or naps on the couches by the fireplace (there would be a fireplace reading room somewhere, complete with a collection of single-malt scotches made available for consumption at the behest of a responsible-but-not-stingy elder entrusted with the keys to the liquor cabinet).
Most members would stay at church for large parts of the day on Sunday along with their non-Christian friends and spiritually seeking acquaintances, as there really would be no more welcoming, relaxing, beautifully diverse, and heaven-like place to be in the city.
Discipleship and Community Life
During DC’s corporate worship service on Sunday morning, children through grade five would have classes of their own, although they would all participate in the singing portion of “big church” once a month. Middle school and high school students would be with the whole church on Sunday morning but would have their own gathering after the community lunch. During this time, adult education classes in Bible, theology, and apologetics would be offered in cooperation with a nearby evangelical seminary.
Church membership and assimilation would be an emphasis of DC. A robust catechism course would be required for new believers and a membership class for new members. Requirements for membership would include taking the class, joining a small group, volunteering for a serve team (see following), and tithing regularly. Small group, volunteering, and tithing participation would all be near 100 percent, and the church’s budget (half of which would go to church planting/missions and mercy/justice) would thrive accordingly.
Each church member would volunteer for one of the following serve teams:
Food and Hospitality: the restaurant, coffee shop, organic garden, community lunches, meal trains, hosting out-of-town guests, and anything else involving food and hospitality.Prayer: pre-service prayer meetings on Sunday mornings, prayer for people during and after each service, prayer walks, prayer newsletters, the rooftop prayer garden, and more.Education and Outreach: adult education, children’s and youth classes, new-believer catechism, nursery, small groups, Kuyper clubs (see below), Alpha, etc.Assimilation: greeting people on Sunday mornings, visitor information, follow-up, membership classes, helping newcomers find ways to get involved.Operations: technical and facility needs, groundskeeping, media/AV, room setup, lighting, stage management, etc.Music and Arts: music ministries of the church (including weeknight Evensong services), public arts and community events committee, lobby art gallery curating.Mercy and Justice: organizing partnerships and administrative needs related to mercy and justice initiatives, helping church members serve the common good of the city.Communications: church website, social media, emails, member database, printed bulletins, and branding.Community Care: connecting relationally gifted members of the community to the counseling and mentoring needs of the church with a focus on intergenerational discipleship and soul care.Church members would also be encouraged to join a “Kuyper Club”2 as a way to deepen community and invite nonbelieving friends to a variety of interest-based, mid-week activities. These clubs would include things like:
Inklings 2.0: A writer’s workshop for the literarily inclinedTaste and See: For foodies to explore the local restaurant sceneHoly Spirits: For those who like to sample rare scotch, bourbon, rum, and other spiritsSingles Supper Club: Where singles gather to cook and enjoy a feast togetherRunning the Race: Training group for aspiring runners of 10Ks, half marathons, and marathonsCrossFit: A CrossFit club which meets in the church’s fitness centerCreation Appreciation: A hiking, backpacking, and camping clubAugustine Society: A reading group focused on the church fathers and historical theologyRobinson Society: A reading group focused on twentieth-and twenty-first-century fictionRothko Society: Takes regular trips to art exhibits and engages the city’s art sceneMalick Society: Watches and discusses movies (not just by Terrence Malick!) from the perspective of Christian faithEliot Society: A poetry reading and writing groupIn addition to these forums for discipleship and community life, DC would also own several homes and apartments in the city that would be rented out to members in the church as a way of building intentional community. These houses would focus on spiritual formation but also outreach and service, partnering with some of the aforementioned mercy and justice initiatives.
Always mindful of not becoming too large or too insular, DC would also have a robust leadership and church-planting training process whereby capable and trustworthy leaders would be constantly developed and sent to serve in new church plants or existing partner churches both locally and globally.
———
My Dream Is Not the Point
I’d be lying if I said that DC description wasn’t enjoyable to write. In fact, I could have kept going. I didn’t even get into my ideal color palette for the church’s website (organic shades of black, olive, and tan) or my preference for prelude music (pipe organ version of Radiohead’s “Everything in Its Right Place”). But you get the idea, and I’m sure you’ve had enough. There are few things more annoying than reading through someone else’s subjective vision of “the perfect church.”
I am a bit disgusted with how easy it is to describe in such detail my hypothetical “dream church.” It’s easy because this is how we’ve been conditioned to think. “Have it your way” consumerism is the air we breathe.
We curate our social feeds so that everything we see befits our tastes and leanings. If a Tweet annoys us, we unfollow that Twitterer. On Netflix we populate “My List” with all that our over-mediated hearts desire. If we start a movie and the first ten minutes are boring, we remove it from the list and forget about it forever. Consumerism is about unlimited choice and unlimited speed. We choose exactly what we want, take only what we want from it, and move on.
This mind-set has infiltrated the way we approach church: as a thing we can design according to our checklist of preferences. And if a church stops catering to our desires or makes us uncomfortable (the pastor says something disagreeable, worship music becomes too saccharine, someone speaks in tongues), we move on. There are dozens of other options in town.
Consumerism is chronic dissatisfaction. We’re always on the quest for more and better, hoping for new heights of satisfaction. The “dream church” is always a potential out there; the grass is always greener at the trendy new church in town.
What We Want Is Not What We Need
The point of this introduction—and the point of this book—is that we must debunk and destroy this toxic consumerist approach. It’s bad for our physical health and worse for our spiritual health.
If we always approach church through the lens of wishing this or that were different, or longing for a church that “gets me” or “meets me where I’m at,” we’ll never commit anywhere (or, Protestants that we are, we’ll just start our own church). But church shouldn’t be about being perfectly understood and met in our comfort zone; it should be about understanding God more, and meeting him where he is. This is an uncomfortable but beautiful thing. As nineteenth-century preacher Charles Spurgeon once said:
If I had never joined a church till I had found one that was perfect, I should never have joined one at all; and the moment I did join it, if I had found one, I should have spoiled it, for it would not have been a perfect church after I had become a member of it. Still, imperfect as it is, it is the dearest place on earth to us.3
What we think we want from a church is almost never what we need. However challenging it may be to embrace, God’s idea of church is far more glorious than any dream church we could conjure. It’s not about finding a church that perfectly fits my theological, architectural, or political preferences. It’s about becoming like “living stones” that are “being built up as a spiritual house” focused on and held together by Jesus, the stone the builders rejected who became the cornerstone (1 Pet. 2:4–7).
Contrary to the wisdom of consumerism, we’re better off giving up the “dream church” ideal and the “perfect fit” fallacy. I’ve seen this firsthand in my current church experience in Brea, California. Whether because of its music (louder and more contemporary than my tastes), its emphasis on spontaneous prayer in “groups of three or four around you” (I’m an introvert), or its openness to the wildness of the Holy Spirit (I grew up Southern Baptist), much about the church makes me uncomfortable. It’s far from the “dream church” that meets all my preferred checkboxes. Yet in this not-my-dream church, my wife and I have grown immensely and been used by God. Its community has shown me clearly that “how it fits me” is the wrong criteria for finding the right church.
Rather, church should be about collectively spurring one another to “be fit” to the likeness of Christ (Ephesians 4–5). And this can happen in almost any sort of church as long as it’s fixed on Jesus, anchored in the gospel, and committed to the authority of Scripture.
Instead of à la carte Christianity driven by fickle tastes and “dream church” appetites, what if we learned to love churches even when—or perhaps because—they challenge us and stretch us out of our comfort zones? Instead of driving twenty miles away to attend a church that “fits my needs,” what if we committed to the nearest nonheretical, Bible-believing church where we could grow and serve—and where Jesus is the hero—however uncomfortable it may be?4
Commitment even amidst discomfort, faithfulness even amidst disappointment: this is what being the people of God has always been about. Imagine if Yahweh had bailed on Israel the minute they said or did something offensive, opting instead to “shop around” for a new people (Canaanites? Philistines? Egyptians?). Imagine if God were as fickle and restless as we are. But he isn’t. God’s covenant faithfulness to his people, even when the relationship is difficult and embarrassing, should be instructive to us. A healthy relationship with the local church is like a healthy marriage: it only works when grounded in selfless commitment and a nonconsumerist covenant.
Is this approach uncomfortable, awkward, and stretching? Absolutely. But that is the point.
———
This book is about the comforting gospel of Jesus Christ that leads us to live uncomfortable lives for him. It’s about recovering a willingness to do hard things, to embrace hard truths, to do life with hard people for the sake and glory of the One who did the hardest thing.
Each chapter of this book will explore an “uncomfortable” aspect of becoming the church Jesus wants us to be:
Embrace the Discomfort: Christians who seek growth should embrace, rather than fear or disown, the difficult aspects of following Jesus.The Uncomfortable Cross: What does it mean that a macabre execution device is the central symbol of our faith? What does it look like to embrace suffering and sacrifice?Uncomfortable Holiness: Christians are called to be a set-apart people, pursuing values different than the world around them. This involves the uncomfortable but essential process of pursuing holiness and not settling for mere authenticity.Uncomfortable Truths: Following Jesus means accepting truths that are uncomfortable in today’s world, whether it be a biblical sexual ethic, the reality of hell, the idea that the universe was created, or any number of other unfashionable things.Uncomfortable Love: Jesus calls his followers not only to love truth but also to love others, radically. Christlike love doesn’t just look like the passivity of niceness or tolerance. It is active, uncomfortable, and unconditional.Uncomfortable Comforter: Jesus gives Christians the Holy Spirit as a paraclete, a “Comforter” to indwell us, guide us into truth, and grow in him. But for many Christians the role of the Spirit is a source of controversy and unease.Uncomfortable Mission: Christianity would be a lot more comfortable if we could just keep to ourselves and mind our own business. But we are called to mission, to tirelessly serve others and evangelize, which is not easy.Uncomfortable People: People are flawed and weird and self-serving; it’s a wonder any of us get along. And yet for Christians striving to be the church, overcoming “people problems” and bearing with one another in love is essential.Uncomfortable Diversity: It’s uncomfortable doing church with people who are very different from us. But unity amidst diversity is one of the greatest testaments to the power of the gospel. It’s an uncomfortable thing we must strive for.Uncomfortable Worship: Everyone has a preference about style of worship music, prayer, liturgy, etc. Yet putting aside personal preferences and embracing unified, God-centric worship is part of what it means to follow Jesus together.Uncomfortable Authority: Reluctance to submit to authority is the reason many people abandon church or create their own custom spirituality. Yet Christianity would be chaos without the guardrails of authority.Uncomfortable Unity: The challenge and messiness of unity in the body of Christ will be increasingly urgent as the need for partnership and mutual support among the “Christian remnant” becomes greater.Uncomfortable Commitment: The perfect church does not exist, but committing to a church in spite of its flaws is essential—and worth it. Churchless Christianity is an oxymoron.Countercultural Comfort: There is comfort for those who follow Jesus, but not in the sense that a consumer society defines comfort.Are you willing to lay aside your “dream church” consumer fantasies and accept the hard-to-stomach truths and awkward requirements of locking arms with weird people in common pursuit of Jesus? Are you willing to relinquish your freedom to do and be whatever you want? Are you willing to embrace persecution when it comes, to “count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord” (Phil. 3:8)?
If so, or maybe if you aren’t quite there yet, this book is for you. It may be uncomfortable, but it will be worth it. On the other side of discomfort is delight in Christ.
Part 1
Uncomfortable Faith
1
Embrace the Discomfort
Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.
John 12:25
We must put away our convenient notions of God—the one who always agrees with us, the one who always favors our nation or political agenda, the one who feeds us candy and never vegetables.
Adam McHugh
There was at least a four-year gap between when I prayed to ask Jesus to be my Savior, and when I publicly confessed him as such in my church and asked to be baptized. That’s how much of an introvert I am.
It was one thing to pray to Jesus in private; quite another to go forward during an altar call. For a shy kid, the latter was terrifying: standing up, stepping out of the pew, walking up that intimidating aisle, finding the right words to say to the pastor who wore cowboy boots with his suits. The thought of doing it made me sweat. Literally.
For years I dreaded the invitation time in the Sunday services of our little Baptist church in Oklahoma. During the inevitable one or two verses of “Just as I Am” or “Softly and Tenderly,” when the pastor beckoned anyone to come forward who felt convicted to “confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord” (Rom. 10:9; this verse terrified me), I sat in turmoil, clearly convicted but unwilling to take the uncomfortable step. I often felt sick to my stomach during these moments of the church service (and not just because of the mayonnaise-based casseroles that dominated our church’s potlucks). This went on for years. After one particularly nerve-wracking Sunday night service (I’m sure the sermon was out of Revelation), I actually ran to the church bathroom and threw up.
When at age ten I finally moved from my seat to go forward during the altar call, it was indeed uncomfortable. I remember tapping my dad’s shoulder and whispering to him that I wanted to go forward, but would he walk up there with me? He did. I told the pastor I’d asked Jesus to be my Savior and wanted to be baptized. My decision was announced to the congregation, and a few weeks later I was awkwardly dunked in lukewarm water. All of it was uncomfortable, but not nearly as bad as my worrying mind had imagined. And thanks be to God, my altar call stomachaches ended that day, once and for all.
The “God of all comfort” (2 Cor.