What Do I Say When . . . ? E-Book

Andrew Walker

• Herausgeber: Crossway
• Kategorie: Religion und Spiritualität
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 186

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024

Beschreibung

Answers to Tough Cultural Questions Presented to Christian Parents Navigating the world for the first time can be challenging, especially when popular cultural beliefs contradict the teachings of Scripture. So when inevitable questions arise, parents must be equipped with sound biblical answers to guide their children through the complexities of modern life—because if we fail to catechize our children, the world will surely step in to do it for us.  Written by husband and wife duo Andrew and Christian Walker, this accessible and trusted guide helps busy parents quickly and effectively respond to their children's questions on a wide range of topics, including abortion, sexuality, transgenderism, technology, political engagement, and more. Each chapter contains age-appropriate prompts for parents of children at different stages of development and maturity. Parents can refer to each chapter as specific questions arise, study hot-button topics for future reference, or access a range of conversation starters to proactively cultivate biblical truth within their child's heart.  - Written for Busy Parents: Empathetic in tone, this book helps parents quickly access answers to the most important topics confronting our youth today - Helpful Resources: Each chapter features a biblical overview, basic truths every parent should know, conversation starters, memory verses, and recommended resources  - Current: Addresses important cultural topics, including human dignity, abortion, sexuality, transgenderism, technology, political engagement, and more

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“Christian parents urgently need help as they lead their children and teenagers through the white-water rapids of our increasingly hostile culture. Andrew and Christian Walker know what they are talking about, and they are both sweet Christian parents and faithful Christian thinkers. They are brilliantly insightful, and this book is perfectly timed.”

R. Albert Mohler Jr., President, The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary

“Our team at Focus on the Family is seeing an increasingly common theme in the calls and correspondence we receive: Christian parents are deeply concerned about the culture and its impact on their kids. These moms and dads are looking for help discussing tough topics with their children, which is why I’m so encouraged that Andrew and Christian Walker have released this timely and engaging book, What Do I Say When . . . ? I’m confident many parents will refer to this volume often as they point their kids toward the Bible’s teaching on challenging issues.”

Jim Daly, President, Focus on the Family

“Andrew and Christian Walker provide an incredibly rich and deeply practical resource for Christian parents in their book What Do I Say When . . . ? The Walkers are a perfect pair to pen such a resource with their educational and vocational backgrounds, as well as their intentionality with parenting. They have dug deep into Scripture and brought forth a timely resource for parents navigating the current chaos in our culture. I encourage parents to pick up this resource and enjoy!”

Lauren McAfee, Ministry Director, Hobby Lobby Ministry Investments; Founder, Stand for Life; coauthor, Beyond Our Control

“This is a rare book that is practical, wise, robustly theological, and usable at the dinner table. Andrew and Christian Walker have given a profound gift to those of us parenting in this chaotic cultural moment. And the stories are the best part, especially for those of us who don’t always know how to get a conversation started with our children.”

John Stonestreet, President, Colson Center; coauthor, A Practical Guide to Culture

“As a mom to two young kids, this book is exactly what I need to navigate tough, cultural conversations from a biblical worldview. It’s more important than ever to be confident in the theological and biblical truth behind why we believe what we do when explaining things to our kids. Kids today want answers they can stand on. This book delivers.”

Ericka Andersen, author, Reason to Return: Why Women Need the Church and the Church Needs Women

“What Do I Say When . . . ? is a needed book for all pastors who are looking for biblical, gospel-centered, and practical resources to equip their church. I plan to order a box to give to the parents in our church to help them disciple their children in these challenging times. The book is faithful to God’s word and easy to implement. My wife and I have already used it in our own parenting.”

Jason Dees, Senior Pastor, Christ Covenant, Atlanta, Georgia

“What a truly helpful and delightfully practical book! In a culture of chaos, it’s more important than ever that Christians know how to discuss difficult topics with their kids in a way that is faithful to the truth of Scripture. The Walkers have provided an outstanding resource that will give you the biblical clarity and confidence you need to have some of the conversations that matter most today, all in a mercifully short format. What Do I Say When . . . ? achieves the perfect balance of depth and accessibility that every busy parent needs.”

Natasha Crain, speaker; podcaster; author, Keeping Your Kids on God’s Side

“Parents often discover, to their dismay, that their children are asking difficult questions about thorny issues that they didn’t even realize existed. Christian parents need trusted voices to help them apply biblical truths and godly wisdom to the ethical confusion and cultural insanity that the world relentlessly throws at their kids. Thank God that Andrew and Christian Walker have written an indispensable guide for families to face the hard things head-on with a confidence that the Bible is sufficient to navigate the troubled waters of twenty-first-century chaos. This book is a lifeline for drowning parents!”

Hershael W. York, Victor and Louise Lester Professor of Christian Preaching and Dean of the School of Theology, The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary

“As a pastor I love this book, and as a dad I’m thrilled. If churches and parents won’t disciple their children, the world will, and the Walkers have given us a center-bullseye resource to apply the lordship of Christ to the chaos of our kids’ culture.”

Josh Howerton, Senior Pastor, Lakepointe Church, Rockwall, Texas

What Do I Say When . . . ?

What Do I Say When . . . ?

A Parents’ Guide to Navigating Cultural Chaos for Children and Teens

Andrew T. Walker and Christian Walker

What Do I Say When . . . ? A Parents’ Guide to Navigating Cultural Chaos for Children and Teens

© 2024 by Andrew T. Walker and Christian Walker

Published by Crossway1300 Crescent StreetWheaton, Illinois 60187

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher, except as provided for by USA copyright law. Crossway® is a registered trademark in the United States of America.

Published in association with the literary agency of Wolegmuth & Associates, Inc.

Cover design: Faceout Studio

First printing 2024

Printed in the United States of America

Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. The ESV text may not be quoted in any publication made available to the public by a Creative Commons license. The ESV may not be translated in whole or in part into any other language.

All emphases in Scripture quotations have been added by the authors.

Trade paperback ISBN: 978-1-4335-9274-4 ePub ISBN: 978-1-4335-9276-8 PDF ISBN: 978-1-4335-9275-1

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Walker, Andrew T., 1985- author. | Walker, Christian, 1985- author.

Title: What do I say when . . . ? : a parent’s guide to navigating cultural chaos for children and teens / Andrew T. Walker and Christian Walker.

Description: Wheaton, Illinois : Crossway, [2024] | Includes bibliographical references and index.

Identifiers: LCCN 2024003236 (print) | LCCN 2024003237 (ebook) | ISBN 9781433592744 (Trade paperback) | ISBN 9781433592751 (PDF) | ISBN 9781433592768 (ePub)

Subjects: LCSH: Parenting—Religious aspects—Christianity. | Parent and child—Religious aspects—Christianity. | Christian youth—Conduct of life.

Classification: LCC BV4529 .W2555 2024 (print) | LCC BV4529 (ebook) | DDC 248.8/45—dc23/eng/20240422

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2024003236

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2024003237

Crossway is a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

2024-06-26 01:24:23 PM

We dedicate this book to our daughters, Caroline, Catherine, and Charlotte.

You each bring us more joy than you can ever possibly understand.

Contents

Acknowledgments

Introduction

1  Human Dignity

2  Abortion

3  Sexuality

4  Gender

5  Homosexuality

6  Identity

7  Transgenderism

8  Technology

9  Political Engagement

10  Hostility and Persecution

Conclusion

General Index

Scripture Index

Acknowledgments

Every book is a labor of time, love, and frustration. What thing worth doing in life isn’t?

We want to say thank you to a number of people who supported us in the drafting of this book. We want to thank our agent Andrew Wolgemuth for all of his help in overseeing the development of this book from start to finish. Champ Thornton at Crossway has been nothing but a cheerful encouragement to us. We also want to thank friends who reviewed the manuscript and provided us with feedback: Whitney Bruce, Dean Inserra, Carey Murphy, Morgan Nichter, and Erik Reed. And of course, our own moms and dads (Fred and Sue Walker and Duncan and Lynda Locke) for their pursuit of having their children in church every Sunday and Wednesday when it would have been convenient to do otherwise.

Introduction

We are living in a moment of rapid cultural change that is leaving everyday Christians and Christian parents completely flat-footed. Change is not new, of course, but historians could point to recent developments in the culture that signal how fast that change is happening, compared to past times.

As I (Andrew) speak across the United States, one of the most frequently asked questions I get is: “How do Christian parents equip their children to face the cultural challenges in front of them? And how do you do it in age-appropriate ways?”

One of the answers I always give goes like this:

You must catechize and disciple your children at ever-younger ages intentionally, or else the culture will do so unintentionally and with even greater effectiveness.

If you don’t teach your children, the world will.

Moreover, if you think two hours per week in church and the well-intentioned efforts of your youth pastor excuse you from having to talk about these topics (some of them very awkward), then I regret to inform you that your outlook needs to change.

In response, heads always nod, and low-murmured voices give near-unanimous affirmation to my answer. What I say out loud, all parents seem to internally recognize themselves. But that raises the important question: What are the topics needing to be discussed, and what’s the best way to discuss them?

That is what this book intends to offer to weary parents: a resource to equip you to equip your children. If you aren’t discipling your children, we can be sure that secular classrooms, peer groups, and social media will.

It is really difficult to be parents in today’s culture. We feel this ourselves. Actually, every parent in every culture in every generation has probably had to face difficulties of their own and said the same thing. But today’s culture seems to be moving at such a fast rate that it feels impossible to keep up with what’s happening. It’s difficult to stay on top of discipling our children to understand and rely on God’s word. We hope and pray that we are discipling our children to use their knowledge of Scripture to stand firm against the war Satan is waging through mass cultural confusion.

It’s all happening so fast that I (Christian) often feel left in the dust. Andrew will ask me often, “Did you hear x, y, z today on the news?” My response is usually, “No. I’ve been teaching since 7:00 a.m., helping our children with homework, cooking dinner, switching over laundry, and now we’re putting kids to bed. When would I have had time to hear that?” He laughs and says, “I forget that you don’t live in my world. It’s amazing how our attentions can be so focused on different things.” Not everyone lives in Andrew’s world. He knows everything about everything almost exactly as it happens. He is an expert on culture and current events. And yet I live in the same house, literally sleep in the same bed, and cannot keep up. I’ve tried to become an expert by osmosis, but I never feel as though I measure up.

I (Christian) need help. I want to do my best, but I am busy, tired, and don’t know how to make the sun stay up and give me more time during the day (see Josh. 10:12–14). Does anyone else feel that way? I am no expert on today’s constantly shifting culture, but I desperately want to help my children plant the Lord’s word deep in their hearts, understand what’s facing them in the culture today, and know how to stand against it both with God’s love and truth. I wanted to be a part of writing this book so that I could have it for myself to use in my own home with my own children.

Let’s be clear: this is not a parenting book from authors who have parenting all figured out. In fact, we are emphatic in telling friends that we are not writing a parenting book but a book for parents. The subtle difference is important: we haven’t mastered the art of parenting. What we offer is a unique combination of expertise in thinking about what the Bible says about current issues facing Christians and how to translate those answers for everyday Christian parents to use conversationally with their children.

We are writing this book because we also need this book in our own home just as much as we want you to have this book in your home. We are parents of three young girls who ask us questions daily. We are parents who strive to lead our children to understand the way God created the universe and the way we fit into his world. We are parents who eagerly pray for their salvation. We need help with all of those things too!

So, if we as parents need this book too, what makes us think we’re qualified to write it? We’re only able to do this together! I (Andrew) teach Christian ethics at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky. Therefore, I write, speak, and teach on cultural issues facing Christians, including some of today’s most controversial topics, regularly. My experience has allowed me to help parents understand the ethical issues at hand and understand how God intended for us to interpret these issues according to his twofold revelation in (1) his revealed word that we call Scripture and (2) his revelation in nature and creation order. I (Christian) am a children’s curriculum writer and educator in both children’s ministry and elementary education settings. My experience has allowed me to understand how children learn best, and I’ve developed my abilities to communicate gospel truths to little hearts in developmentally and age-appropriate ways.

Accessible, Trustworthy, and Age-Appropriate

We want this resource to be accessible, trustworthy, and age-appropriate. First of all, busy parents need this book to be accessible. As busy parents ourselves, we know too well the difficulty of finding time to read lengthy books and process the material to disciple our children. We desire for this book to be a quick reference guide, a short and readable book for you to use to help guide the discipleship of your children.

Second, we pray that this book is trustworthy. We prayed over this book for months before beginning to write it. We asked the Lord to guide our words directly from his Scripture. These are not our thoughts about today’s culture. God has revealed himself in his word and in the natural order of his creation. He had a plan from the beginning of his creation for all of creation. We learn of that plan in his word. We will be using his word and his good plan to define our responses to today’s cultural issues. And it’s good to remember that as uncharted as culture seems today, these are not new ideas that the church is facing. The church has been facing these issues for centuries in some manner.

Lastly, we are writing this book to be age-appropriate. Certain ages can handle certain levels of understanding and comprehension of topics. As we said previously, it’s difficult as busy parents to discern what levels of understanding are appropriate for our children after reading a lengthy book on a heavy topic. We want to help take the guesswork out of the way for you. Each cultural topic will be intentionally broken down into developmentally appropriate and age-appropriate levels of understanding for your children. Hopefully, this will help guide you in discipling your family in the most helpful and effective ways possible.

In this book, we have devoted ten chapters to ten important cultural topics facing children and families today. Not every topic that could be discussed is discussed, sadly. To do that, a much longer book would be necessary. But our goal for this book is to provide the essentials, not the last word on every subject. These chapters are quick reference guides that give the very basic foundations and introductions to these cultural topics. There is so much more to say and so much more to learn, but we wanted to give you the very basics to help you begin teaching and discipling your children.

Each chapter begins by introducing the topic. We then explain what God says about that topic and what should be laid as the biblical foundation for parents to understand. From there, each chapter moves into a portion for parents to use as a guide for talking with their children about the cultural topic. Because we believe the home is central to the development of the next Christian generation, we’re calling our sequence of conversational instruction “floors” that correspond to a home. Each chapter has three “floors” of biblical truths and conversation starters. Instead of having strict age guidelines, we are using “floors” to help guide you to determine where your child may best fit based on development, maturity, and age.

First-floor children are probably between the ages of four and eight, second-floor children are probably between the ages of eight and twelve, and third-floor children are probably between twelve and sixteen. If you think your child is ready for a more mature conversation, then move up to the next floor. If you think your child is not ready for a conversation, then move down to the floor below. The floors are not rigid and are intended to guide you in discussing the topics thoroughly as your child grows and help you to keep ahead of culture.

Remember that you want to be the first person to have the conversation with your child to be able to lay the biblical foundation. Otherwise, culture will form the foundation for you. Stay vigilant and keep ahead of culture.

Both a Defensive and Offensive Resource

We pray that this book will be used as a defensive and offensive resource.

I (Christian) need a quick reference defensive tool. When I drive home from school with the girls, there is so much chatter in the car: stories from the school day, observations of flags and signs in people’s yards, and talk about movies and songs. All the chatter leads to questions about what things mean, the definition of new words, how people interact with each other, and so forth. I am hit fast and furious with questions I need to answer and comments that I have to patrol for the various ages and levels of maturity of my daughters as I drive. I need answers to these questions. Some answers I have, sometimes I have no idea what to say, and other times I need help finding where to look in Scripture. Additionally for all of these responses, I need help figuring out how to answer them in age-appropriate ways for all three of our girls. If they all heard the same thing in the car, then they all need a solid, biblical answer. I need this book! I am going to find the corresponding cultural topics, quickly read the short chapter, then find the floor response for each child. I can defensively disciple the girls with biblical truths as they come to me with questions.

A Proactive Tool

We also pray that this book is used as a proactive tool. We hope to use this book as a family devotional tool. Each chapter includes one unifying Scripture verse that ties all of the biblical truths together. We want our entire family to memorize the verse as we learn about the cultural topic together. We use the biblical truths and conversation starters to guide our family devotional time. Maybe your family needs to focus on one chapter for a while because you’re facing something specific. Perhaps you are about to encounter a gay family member at a family event and need to equip your children. Maybe your family would like to move through the book chapter by chapter. Just remember that you are the one who needs to lay the biblical foundation with your children.

Biblical truths could be referenced and recited for memory and mastery. Discussion starters could be used to check in on your children’s understanding or growing knowledge of a topic. There can be check-ins often to see if they have matured and need to begin deepening their biblical understanding by moving to the next “floor.”

We want to offer one word about the types of arguments you’re going to hear in this book. First, you must realize that if you want your children to survive with their faith intact in our present culture, it’s going to require some level of study for both you and your children. Discipleship in today’s culture requires a high degree of responsibility. We are, after all, no longer in a culture that just agrees with what Christians believe. A lot of Christian parenting literature does not make complete arguments. What Christian parenting books frequently do is make statements that the author just expects you to agree with. That’s fine, but it’s also incomplete. Some of the content you’re going to read in our book may appear difficult or complex at first. We’ve tried to make complex arguments as simple as possible, but even then, you’re going to have to dig in, read, ponder, and maybe even re-read if something is not immediately clear. That’s inevitable when wading through difficult subjects. Issues in this book are not as much complex as they are simply controversial given the culture we live in. But let us encourage you: there is no greater investment of your time, focus, and energy than effort put forward on behalf of your children to build up their faith in order to thrive in our culture. You can do this.

One thing that we pray you remember is that God has given your precious children to you to protect and disciple. But he has not given you the power of salvation. Only God can rescue your children from their sin (Rom. 1:16). As