Your Metamorphosis E-Book

Jessica Turner

• Herausgeber: tredition
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 203

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2022

Beschreibung

Personal development is a growth process similar to the metamorphosis of a butterfly. Emerge from your childhood as a caterpillar, discover what you really want in the cocoon, and take responsibility for your life. Let go of the past and open yourself up to new perspectives. Learn to feel vibrant and free like a butterfly, to flutter your wings, and to lead a more confident and fulfilled life! »YOUR METAMORPHOSIS« is more than a self-help book. You can pick it up again and again, refer to its tips and activities, and use it as a personal workbook. Write in it, make notes, and keep it by your side during your transformation. With your purchase, you are making a generous donation to my school project in Kenya, which covers school costs for children there. Your contribution gives them an education, the opportunity to learn a profession, and the chance to live a good life.

Leseprobe

»What the caterpillar calls the end, the rest of the

world calls a butterfly.«

Laozi

your metamorphosis

The book for your transformation

Bibliografische Information der Deutschen Nationalbibliothek: Die Deutsche Nationalbibliothek verzeichnet diese Publikation in der Deutschen Nationalbibliografie; detaillierte bibliografische Daten sind im Internet über www.dnb.dnb.de abrufbar.

Copyright © 2023

by Jessica Turner

www.meta-workbook.com

Printed and published by:

tredition GmbH, Halenreie 40 – 44, 22359 Hamburg

Cover photo © Laura Pashkevich

Cover design, illustrations:

Christoph Calmes, Rouven Masloh

Editing:

Johann Van Haght

Sera Babakus

ISBN: 978-3-347-48226-5 (Paperback)

ISBN: 978-3-347-48228-9 (Hardcover)

Table of contents

Table of contents

Prologue: The Butterfly Effect

Your metamorphosis

Are you afraid of change?

Your desire to change

What you can expect from this book

The lifecycle of a butterfly

The egg

The hungry caterpillar

Life in the cocoon

The butterfly

The uniqueness of the transformation

Part I: The egg – your starting conditions

Task#1

Part II: The life of a caterpillar – your childhood

Life begins

Task#2

Courageous discoveries

Task#3

Parents are liable for their children

Task#4

Developing your personality

Task#5

The relationship with your father

Task#6

The relationship with your mother

Task#7

Childhood heroes

Task#8

Last stop on your journey through childhood

Task#9

Part III: The cocoon – your development

Your relationship with yourself

Task#10

Self-fulfilling prophecy

Task#11

Your behavioral patterns and beliefs

Task#12

Your relationship to money

Task#13

Your body image

Task#14

The relationship with your parents

Task#15

The relationship with your friends and romantic partners

Task#16

Your relationship check

Task#17

Your calling

Task#18

Last stop on your journey inside the cocoon

Task#19

Part IV: The butterfly – spreading your wings

Be authentic

Task#20

Keep evolving

Task#21

Help others grow

Task#22

Thanks

References

Prologue: The Butterfly Effect

You’ve probably read the book or seen the film: The Butterfly Effect. Edward Lorenz coined the term in the 1970s by asking if the single flutter of a butterfly in Brazil could cause a tornado in Texas. Lorenz described how, in a dynamic system, starting conditions can influence the run of events in the future. If the situation at the outset changes, even minimally, the entire situation will develop in fully unexpected and unpredictable ways.

What does that have to do with you? Your life takes place in a highly dynamic and complex world. It is shaped by new developments and technologies. To keep pace with these rapid changes, it is crucial to be open to new experiences. Understanding interconnectedness and causality in the world around you and within yourself helps you counteract the complexity. There are certainly things you cannot change – the past, for example. There are other things you can influence through your own actions – whether consciously or unconsciously – such as the people you spend time with.

According to the Butterfly Effect, changing one of your actions just slightly, for example by taking a different way to work, could result in something unexpected. Someone could smile at you along the way, and this smile alone could brighten your day. It would energize you and help you make more productive decisions at work. Your colleagues would begin to see you in a different light – a more positive light – and they would project the same positivity towards you. Somehow, your new project would start rolling all on its own.

The person you met that very morning inspired you with a single smile not only to change your approach, but also to change your attitude. You might not have even realized it. And as a result, you impacted everyone around you in some way. You’ve probably figured out where I’m going with this: each day you make decisions, both consciously and unconsciously. With those decisions, you trigger your own small Butterfly Effect. Understood in this way, even the seemingly most insignificant decision or action could have very significant impacts.

In this book, you will learn to use the Butterfly Effect to your advantage, to understand your own personal metamorphosis through the metaphor of the butterfly life cycle, and to identify small adjustments with the potential for huge transformation.

In the following pages, I will draw on the expertise of scientists and researchers, who will be referenced at the end of the book. With your purchase, you are contributing to my school project in Kenya, which covers school costs for children in slums. Why? So that they can receive a quality education, learn a profession, and live a good life. Receiving gratitude from the beneficiaries – especially young children - is always a special moment.

YOUR METAMORPHOSIS

Are you afraid of change?

The butterfly transforms in a radical way because it has no other choice. Humans, on the other hand, can choose to change. Why not take advantage of this freedom? Have you reached a crossroads in your life and don’t know where the journey should lead? Have you asked yourself recently what you really want and who you really are?

Sometimes this happens during major life crises: puberty, choosing your career, going through a separation or divorce, losing a loved-one, starting a new job, or dealing with other uncertain situations such as the Corona Crisis, which turned the world on its head in 2020.

In my opinion, Corona has been a real stress-test for many. Why? Because it stripped us of freedoms and demanded rapid changes to our patterns of behavior. Work life has changed, colleagues have had to reduce their hours, business owners have closed shop, and people no longer leave their homes. Daily routines are out of whack and leisure activities have been reduced to a minimum. The power to decide has been taken away, along with the control over how to design our everyday lives – just like that.

Do you remember when the pandemic began? No one could really say where the virus came from or what the consequences for society or for individuals might be down the road. Different information was circulating online: did the virus originate in a wild animal market in Wuhan where bats were being held in close quarters, in a high-security laboratory in China, or did it come from somewhere else entirely? Even the World Health Organization (WHO) couldn’t answer this question with 100 percent certainty.

How does all this information make you feel? Does it trigger a fear of uncertainty or a loss of control? Does it paralyze you and take away your energy to make positive changes?

If so, that’s ok. Fear is human. If the thought of Corona and bats makes you anxious, think back to Batman and his fear of bats. In his take on Batman, Christopher Nolan tells the tale of a man seeking to overcome his childhood trauma. Once he frees himself of his fears and processes his past experiences, he can find himself and use his superpowers to help others. So, you see, even your own heroes fear something, but they choose to overcome fear through courage. By doing so, they achieve something marvelous, and so can you.

You have the power to use opportunities to face your fears and grow. I promise you: when you muster up the courage for change, you can turn any crisis into something positive and come out on the other end even stronger. How does that sound?

»Courage is opposition to fear,

triumph over fear,

but not the absence of fear itself.«

Mark Twain

Your desire to change

I don’t know anyone who doesn’t like butterflies. Because they are one of the most spectacular examples of transformation and restart found in nature, they fascinate people. For me, personally, they represent freedom and beauty, illustrated through their brilliant colors and seemingly carefree lives. What do you associate with butterflies?

Fluttering from flower to flower completely unburdened, butterflies seem to reach the best nectar almost effortlessly! What’s more, by doing this, they help to pollinate other plants. So, butterflies are not just good-looking, they are also important for the ecosystem.

I have good news and bad news. The bad news first: butterflies are on their way to extinction. The good news: scientists are working to protect and save them.

To become a butterfly, a caterpillar goes through the process of metamorphosis. This is where you come in: you have the power to lead a selfdetermined and happy life, to evolve into a butterfly – and to save yourself through your own metamorphosis.

Even as a child I knew I wanted to be a butterfly! I wanted to be free and independent, and to decide where to fly on my own. It’s easy for children to think like that – life was simpler back then, changing was less complex. As adults we learn to conform, to choose the safest route, and to avoid change.

But as an adult you still have the chance to transform old into new. Your own personal metamorphosis – not in a physical sense, but rather in a mental and spiritual sense – is the perfect opportunity. And do you know what? Unlike a butterfly, you can change as many times in your life as you want.

You might be unhappy with your current situation, but you don’t know how to fix it. You’re looking for positive transformation and want to reframe the situation.

That all sounds easy enough in theory. If so, why haven’t more people made that crucial step towards change, especially given that countless books on personal development are available?

I can think of one reason: change requires a desire for change. Physical growth takes place automatically, but truly becoming an adult means taking matters into your own hands. Anything is possible, but no one is forcing you to do anything. You don’t have to change. But if you do, you have an incredible opportunity. Perhaps you haven’t taken advantage of it yet because you have been carrying outdated beliefs and emotional baggage with you since childhood.

»Hard times build determination

and inner strength.«

Dalai Lama

What you can expect from this book

This book will help you reflect on your life as a child – as a caterpillar, to stick to the metaphor. Hopefully, this will lead to more than just selfreflection. It’s time to look inside yourself and find your own identity. Are most of your actions a cry for love and recognition? Then you probably lack self-confidence. Don’t worry, you can always remedy the situation. You have the chance to adjust how you perceive your own value, to become your own judge of what is good and bad. You can return to your cocoon and win back your self-confidence, change your perspective, and transform your life. It is your responsibility alone – and doing it can be a gift to yourself.

It’s about taking responsibility for your own life and becoming the person you want to be – a butterfly. You can and should experience the joy and love you deserve. This might require radically letting go of things that do you no good.

Maybe you’re already in your »butterfly phase« and have everything you need to be happy. In that case, you can use this book as inspiration for supporting others on their personal journeys.

The writing tasks at the end of each chapter will help you to translate your personal development plan into action. In my experience, writing something down has more impact than just reading it over. You will have it in cold print, so that you can integrate it into your daily life and reach your goals. It’s your book – it is there to serve your positive change and your positive change alone. It’s your own personal process of metamorphosis:

Parts I and II: The egg and the caterpillar

The first chapters take a closer look at the early stages in butterfly development – the egg and the caterpillar. In tasks #1 - #9, you will ask yourself the following questions:

• What were the environmental conditions at the beginning of my life as a butterfly egg?

• Who and what influenced my childhood and youth as a caterpillar?

Parts III and IV: The cocoon and the butterfly

Even the best analysis is meaningless if you don’t use the newly found insights into yourself and your potential. You must move from »developing« in the cocoon to »maturing« as a butterfly.

In the cocoon phase, you will use your past experiences as a basis for reframing many aspects of your life today: your relationship to yourself and others, your beliefs, and your calling (tasks #10 - #19). You’ll figure out who you want to be, you’ll learn to spread your wings as a butterfly. To start off this journey, we will begin with a story from my youth.

»You’ve forgotten your childhood,

yet in the depths of your soul,

it’s calling out to you.

And it won’t stop until you listen.«

Hermann Hesse

The lifecycle of a butterfly

The egg

Butterflies are not born as butterflies. They have a long journey of metamorphosis ahead. As a schoolchild, I experienced this firsthand.

Our teacher, Mrs. Müller, was a wonderful person. She always did her best to explain things so that we could not forget them. Even if I had tried – no use! The knowledge stuck!

At the time, I certainly did not want to remember sex education. It all started with a book called »I can be whoever I want to be«, which was filled with creative activities for discovering your own body. The lessons didn’t stop there: during puberty came the detailed and far too vivid demonstrations of maxi pads and tampons on realistic, 3-D plaster cast models. We couldn’t believe our eyes.

I tried my best to rid my mind of the information - yuck! Nonetheless, I couldn’t enter our bathroom at home for years without thinking about the female menstrual cycle. Never, I thought to myself, would I use something like that. Today, I know what had bothered me so much about Mrs. Müller’s explanations. It hadn’t been the embarrassing details, but rather the certainty of the impending changes in my teenage body. I had felt powerless in the matter. The change would happen – whether I wanted it to or not. I was uncomfortable not knowing if I would still be me afterwards.

Of course, Mrs. Müller didn’t leave us completely hanging. To help us understand the process, she used the metaphor of the butterfly lifecycle. And she wanted us to experience it firsthand. When she first told us that we would go to the woods, collect caterpillars, and take care of them until they became butterflies, we were skeptical. As children, we still considered caterpillars and butterflies to be two different animals.

So, Mrs. Müller showed us books with pictures of the development from egg to caterpillar to cocoon to adult butterfly and began with her lesson: »The life cycle of butterflies is extraordinary. We are going to observe them until, one day, they flutter around the classroom. It will be an exciting journey and evolution that you will remember for the rest of your lives.«

Mrs. Müller was determined to convince us. She explained how the transformation would last quite some time and would be different for each butterfly. »It’s just like with humans. Some start puberty early, some later«, she compared. Aww man, not that topic again!

When I think back, I understand what she had been trying to say. Through the explanation of puberty, Mrs. Müller wanted to show us that humans also go through a physical transformation. Still, we couldn’t fathom turning into adults.

Another transformation would lie ahead in our adult human lives, we were told: a change in our behavior, patterns of thought, and character. This growth could be either encouraged or stunted.

»The female butterfly always lays her eggs on a host plant. How she lays her eggs can differ from butterfly to butterfly«, Mrs. Müller began her butterfly story. »Certain types of butterflies put in a lot of effort to create the right environment for the eggs. For example, where and under what conditions the eggs are laid can influence the shape of the eggs. Some types of butterflies always place their eggs separately from one another to protect them. Others cover their eggs with a thick layer of hair to hide them from enemies. On the other hand, there are butterflies that lay their eggs in structured rows along branches and grass to make them even more visible. Still other female butterflies choose to spread their eggs while flying over large patches of grass to give them the best chances of survival. The female butterflies do this for one reason: the eggs land on the ground between blades of grass, and the caterpillars will be able to live there and nourish themselves later. And now for the best part!« she said. »After laying the eggs, the female butterflies no longer take care of them. That’s quite different to human mothers. Luckily, all the eggs are protected by a thick shell that is not appetizing for natural enemies. No matter where and how the eggs were laid, one day they hatch.«

The hungry caterpillar

»The second stage in the life cycle of a butterfly begins when the caterpillar emerges. There are types that hibernate over the winter and hatch after six or nine months. With other types, the shell cracks open within just two or three weeks, revealing a caterpillar.

At the start, the caterpillar has mandibles on its head. It can use this tool its entire life to gnaw on plants for sustenance. As such, it can support itself entirely without the help of the mother. The caterpillar munches its way through the nutritious shell to see the light of day. It doesn’t even have to search for sustenance: it’s already sitting in it. The caterpillar eats the leaves and flowers of the plants around it«, Mrs. Müller continued to read from her lepidopterology book – the book on the science of butterflies.

Isn’t nature incredible?! The very first caterpillar meal is already a healthy one. Nutrition experts would be proud – clean eating, right from birth! How exemplary! Like babies drinking their mother’s breast milk.

Our task as school children was to find caterpillars in the nearby woods, so we (30 excited seven-year-olds in mud-proof, camouflage outdoor-wear) stomped our way through the forest trails.

»The caterpillar is an animal with many feet, but it’s still not very fast. But for the caterpillar, speed isn’t important. It leads a private life and saves its energy to search for food and to grow and transform. Do you remember the children’s book The Hungry Caterpillar1? That may be the best example: the caterpillar is always searching for the next best meal to satisfy its huge appetite during this stage of growth. It munches its way through puberty, all the while adjusting to its surroundings in the best way possible«, Mrs. Müller explained.

We realized it wasn’t so easy to find caterpillars once you really started looking for them. Shouldn’t our paths automatically cross? In general, we weren’t used to looking for anything. It was the adults, we noticed, who were constantly searching.

Our teacher tried to motivate us: »We won’t give up, we must persevere. Sometimes life is like that; we don’t always see things that are there, so we must look closely! Other times when we’re looking for something, we can’t find it because we’re so focused on a single detail. We get lost in that one thought and lose sight of the big picture.«

Of course, at that time, we weren’t really moved by her words, nor did we philosophize on their meaning. But one thing we were sure of: we would find those caterpillars! That was probably our recipe for success: we didn’t analyze the situation to death, we just did it.

We didn’t give up until enough caterpillars were wiggling around in our pink buckets (which didn’t match the camo-look at all). Finally, we had done it!

On the way back to the classroom, our teacher explained what we would be doing for the next few weeks. First, would place the caterpillars in prepared boxes. She had read several books on the subject and sho wed us how to prepare the perfect caterpillar box. »We only want the best for our caterpillars. They need a place where they feel at home. That’s the only way they can develop to their fullest potential«, she added.

We were all dying to see what would happen. So much so, that we stopped arriving to school half-asleep to vegetate until the last lesson was finally over. The day to see the development of our caterpillars just couldn’t come soon enough.

They were all so different. The caterpillars from the blue morpho butterfly were thin – and I thought their red-brown coloring and light green and yellow spots were so beautiful. But to be honest: just from looking at the strange combination of colors, you couldn’t possibly imagine them transforming into the glowing bright blue of the blue morpho butterfly!

»Many caterpillars change their outer appearance when they grow. During its growth, the caterpillar sheds layers when space gets too tight in its skin. During this molting stage, the caterpillar refrains from eating for a few days and takes a break«, she continued. »The caterpillar’s outer-skeleton is stiff and doesn’t grow with the rest of the body. Over time, the caterpillar’s body must be replaced by a new, larger outer skeleton. The caterpillar has developed a great strategy for increasing its body volume: it splits open and molts. Under the old skin grows a newer, larger skin with more space for growth. The caterpillar can get bigger. This process continues until the caterpillar reaches its final size.«

I wonder if the caterpillar can truly grasp its own transformation and its own skills? It’s probably not that important – why should it care so much about what it will become? The caterpillar takes full advantage of life’s joys and simple pleasures. Rightly so! While snacking on plants, it boldly discovers the world around it. When the time comes, the caterpillar transforms itself.

1 E. Carle (2019)

Life in the cocoon

»Then, it’s time. Belly full, the caterpillar searches for a nice and quiet spot. To pupate and become a butterfly, it needs the right environment, calmness, and safety. This spot is selected very carefully. If the caterpillar feels comfortable, it attaches itself to a branch with tiny threads. There is no pre-made cocoon for the caterpillar to crawl into – it must make the cocoon itself, just as it produced its own skin layers previously. The cocoon starts to develop under the last layer of caterpillar skin. Then it bursts and the cocoon becomes visible.« We could all feel Mrs. Müller’s excitement.

One day, our caterpillars had transformed themselves into cocoons. You can imagine this part being the most challenging for schoolchildren, who are not big fans of peace and quiet. Each day, we observed the caterpillar boxes anxiously. »Sometimes you can’t see the changes directly. But the transformation reveals itself over time«, she would repeat. Mrs. Müller really was one of a kind.

She took out her book again and read about the process of pupation aloud: »For each type of butterfly, there is a different pupation. The butterfly slowly grows inside of the cocoon. Then the most exciting moment begins: the organs, which functioned so well in caterpillar life, start to dissolve. Only a few tiny tissues remain intact, and these form the basis for the butterfly. These then transform into the new organs that make up the adult butterfly once the metamorphosis is complete. Experts sometimes call this brothy composition a living caterpillar soup. As soon as the organism has fully developed, the last phase of the metamorphosis begins, and the butterfly frees itself from the cocoon.«

We exchanged looks, wondering if we should be happy about this. But the information was strange to us. Does the caterpillar dissolve? Could we help it? Should we save it? After a few seconds of speechlessness, we mustered up the strength to ask the question lingering in the room: »But, we thought that the caterpillar grows wings, legs, and antennae in the cocoon?«

»No«, she replied, »The caterpillar and the butterfly are two different,