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- Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
- Kategorie: Ratgeber
- Sprache: Englisch
Learn to adult even better than your parents Even though it's tougher than ever, this adulting thing doesn't come with instructions! The moment you turn 18 you're expected to be a master of everything from personal finance to household chores, even if you've never done any of these things before. It's no wonder that a lot of people just like you are looking for a guide to adulthood that doesn't assume you magically learned how to do laundry and invest in a 401(k) on your eighteenth birthday. In Adulting For Dummies, Gencie Houy, independent living educator at Texas Tech, walks you through every critical part of adulting on your own. From basic life and household tasks to managing your finances and health, you'll learn how to achieve your goals in each area of your life that matters to you. You'll also discover how to balance the different parts of your life so you don't get overwhelmed in any one area. The book also offers: * Advice on navigating the modern dating scene and communicating with family members, friends, and romantic partners * Guidance on budgeting your money and saving up for a house (yes, it's still possible!) * Easy strategies for keeping your home in order and in good shape No one said being an adult is easy. But, with help from your friends at Dummies, it doesn't have to be impossible. Grab a copy of Adulting For Dummies today!
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Seitenzahl: 421
Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2022
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Adulting For Dummies®
Published by: John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030-5774, www.wiley.com
Copyright © 2023 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey
Published simultaneously in Canada
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Library of Congress Control Number: 2022945007
ISBN: 978-1-119-90433-5 (pbk); ISBN 978-1-119-90435-9 (epdf); ISBN 978-1-119-90434-2 (epub)
Adulting For Dummies®
To view this book's Cheat Sheet, simply go to www.dummies.com and search for “Adulting For Dummies Cheat Sheet” in the Search box.
Table of Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Introduction
About This Book
Foolish Assumptions
Icons Used in This Book
Beyond the Book
Where to Go from Here
Part 1: Shifting from Surviving to Thriving
Chapter 1: Experiencing the Thrill and Fear of Running Your Own Life
Taking One Step at a Time
Mapping Out Your Destination
Understanding Character
Navigating the Necessities
Providing the Goods
Stepping Up: You Got This
Chapter 2: Knowing What You Want and Getting It
Setting Achievable Goals
Decision-Making: It’s All You!
Advocating for Yourself: Scary, but Doable
Chapter 3: Keeping up in a Changing World
Navigating the Murky Waters of Digital Ethics
Evaluating Appearances: Social Media Isn’t Always What It Seems
Part 2: Dating, Relating, and Communicating
Chapter 4: Making New Friends While Keeping the Old
Recognizing the Importance of Friendship
Recognizing Fake Friends
Chapter 5: You’ll Always Be Their Kid: Family Dynamics
Understanding Roles and Responsibilities in Families
Getting Along
Appreciating Families’ Uniqueness
Navigating Crisis in the Family
Chapter 6: Bumbling through the Dating Scene
Getting Out of the Friend Zone
Knowing When It’s Time for Those Three Little Words
Chapter 7: Saying What You Mean
Understanding the Basics: Communication 101
Sending Mixed Messages
Solving Problems: It’s a Process
Part 3: Earning Enough to Live On
Chapter 8: It’s Called Work for a Reason
Whatever You Are, Be a Great One
Finding the Best Options for Good Choices
Now Hiring!
Chapter 9: Impressing the Boss and Succeeding on the Job
You’ve Got Skills
Dressing for Success
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
Chapter 10: Champagne Tastes, Beer Budget: Saving and Spending
Getting Paid: Show Me the Money
Securing Your Future
Keeping Yourself out of the Red
Managing Credit Cards
Chapter 11: How Much?! Paying for Housing and Buying a Car
Moving Out … It May Be Time
Better Living by Design
Sitting in the Driver’s Seat
Part 4: Maintaining a Healthy Mind in a Healthy Body
Chapter 12: Eating for Fun and Fuel
Nutrition: More Than Taking Your Vitamins
What Goes in Must Come Out
Soul Food
Relating to food
Chapter 13: Exercise: Good for You in the Long Run
“Good Good” Feelings
The Heart of the Matter
Exercises That Are Right for You
Chapter 14: Loving Yourself with Healthy Habits
Getting Some ZZZs
Having Some Good Clean Fun
Protecting Yourself
Painting a Picture of Health
Chapter 15: Minding Your Mental Health
What Is Mental Health?
In the Eye of the Storm
Addiction
Part 5: Completing Household Jobs
Chapter 16: Keeping It All Clean
Taking Control of the Mess before It Takes Control of You
Airing Your Dirty Laundry
Giving New Life to Old Threads
Chapter 17: Stirring Things Up in the Kitchen
Knowing Your Equipment
Playing It Safe
Cookin’ up a Storm
Chapter 18: Preparing for the Unexpected
Caring for Your Home’s Health
Take Murphy’s Law to Heart
Part 6: The Part of Tens
Chapter 19: Ten Ways to Be a Responsible Citizen
Having Integrity
Being Productive
Helping Make Improvements
Staying Informed
Exhibiting Patriotism
Living up to High Standards
Showing R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Making Judgment Calls
Facing Your Fear
Paying It Forward
Chapter 20: Ten Tips and Tricks for Car Maintenance
Paying Attention to Spare Parts
Going for the Good Oil
Caring for the Car Battery
Breaking for New Brakes
Keeping the Air Clean
Maintaining a Squeaky Clean Windshield
Working Those Shocks, Struts, and Springs
Talkin’ about the Car Wash
Running on Empty
Doing a Tire Check
Chapter 21: Ten Rookie Mistakes
Maxing Out Your Credit Cards
Staying in a Relationship Even When You Realize It Will Not Last
Not Putting Verbal Contracts in Writing
Breaking Up, Then Trying to Remain Friends
Putting Dish Soap in the Dishwasher
Buying Too Much Furniture
Dropping Out of School and Thinking You Will Have Time to Go Back
Moving Locations and Realizing You Haven’t Solved All of Your Problems
Washing a Red Sweatshirt with Your White Clothes
Forgetting to Preheat the Oven
Index
About the Author
Advertisement Page
Connect with Dummies
End User License Agreement
List of Tables
Chapter 8
TABLE 8-1 Career Clusters
Chapter 9
TABLE 9-1 College Degree Levels
Chapter 15
TABLE 15-1 Signs of Stress
List of Illustrations
Chapter 2
FIGURE 2-1: Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
Chapter 5
FIGURE 5-1: The family life cycle.
Chapter 6
FIGURE 6-1: Being open to meeting new people helps form new relationships.
FIGURE 6-2: Happily spending time together is an action of love.
Chapter 7
FIGURE 7-1: Exude a positive vibe when talking to others.
FIGURE 7-2: Conflict arises in everyday life.
Chapter 8
FIGURE 8-1: A positive attitude can help you use your aptitudes to be successfu...
FIGURE 8-2: An example résumé.
FIGURE 8-3: A basic job application.
Chapter 9
FIGURE 9-1: Hard skills are technical skills that require training for a specif...
FIGURE 9-2 Uniforms provide practical benefits as well as promoting a sense of ...
FIGURE 9-3: Business professional includes items such as slacks, blazers, suits...
FIGURE 9-4: Instructions for tying a tie.
Chapter 10
FIGURE 10-1: A W-4 form.
FIGURE 10-2: Tax withholdings
FIGURE 10-3: A W-2 form.
FIGURE 10-4: An example of personal income breakdown.
FIGURE 10-5: An example of a personal budget.
FIGURE 10-6: An example college budget.
FIGURE 10-7: An example holiday budget.
FIGURE 10-8: An example wedding budget.
FIGURE 10-9: A credit application
Chapter 11
FIGURE 11-1: A living room space.
FIGURE 11-2: Home security system.
FIGURE 11-3: Changing your tire is not as scary as it might seem.
Chapter 12
FIGURE 12-1: Foods like these contain the nutrients you need each day.
FIGURE 12-2: The digestive system.
FIGURE 12-3: A balanced diet.
FIGURE 12-4: Food groups.
FIGURE 12-5: Nutrition Facts food label.
Chapter 13
FIGURE 13-1: Health benefits of exercise.
FIGURE 13-2: Exercise reduces your risk of heart disease and stroke.
FIGURE 13-3: Aerobic exercise with your friends can be fun and beneficial!
FIGURE 13-4: Body-weight exercises for building muscle.
FIGURE 13-5: Office stretches at your seat.
Chapter 14
FIGURE 14-1: Proper handwashing technique.
FIGURE 14-2: Avoid distracted driving to prevent accidents.
FIGURE 14-3: Patient history form.
FIGURE 14-4: Heimlich maneuver.
Chapter 15
FIGURE 15-1: Your “happy place” may bring you joy, peacefulness, or clarity.
FIGURE 15-2: Take time to find what works to keep you calm.
FIGURE 15-3: People need other people for support.
FIGURE 15-4: Don’t miss an opportunity for an authentic in-person connection!
Chapter 16
FIGURE 16-1: Wash the dishes daily.
FIGURE 16-2: Clothing care symbols.
FIGURE 16-3: The perfect fold for a dress shirt.
FIGURE 16-4: Sewing on a button.
FIGURE 16-5: Repair your clothing.
Chapter 17
FIGURE 17-1: Small kitchen appliances.
FIGURE 17-2: Common measuring utensils.
FIGURE 17-3: Common knives and cooking utensils.
FIGURE 17-4: Using a fire extinguisher.
FIGURE 17-5: Kitchen measuring conversions.
FIGURE 17-6: Dry versus wet measuring.
FIGURE 17-7: Cooking methods.
Chapter 18
FIGURE 18-1: Stockpile shopping list.
Guide
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Table of Contents
Begin Reading
Index
About the Author
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Introduction
Everyone keeps telling you to grow up. What does that even mean? It’s not like there’s a manual for life… or wait! Is there? In this book, you’ll find out exactly what skills you need to be a thriving adult. You’ll discover how to keep up in an ever-changing world, how to maintain positive relationships, how to communicate what you really want, how to manage your paycheck, and how to take care of your physical and emotional needs as an adult. Your journey as an adult begins one page at a time.
About This Book
Adulting is a series of choices that require knowledge and wisdom. This book is designed to explain essential life skills you need for all areas of your life. This book includes research-based content encompassing basic human needs, your individual well-being, family strengths, community vitality, and overall wellness. This is your chance to establish the multitude of skills needed not only to function as an adult but to flourish. Adulting For Dummies includes plenty of real-world scenarios for situations you may encounter and high-quality illustrations that help explain concepts
I divided the content into six parts:
Part 1
: Shifting from Surviving to Thriving
Part 2
: Dating, Relating, and Communicating
Part 3
: Earning Enough to Live On
Part 4
: Maintaining a Healthy Mind in a Healthy Body
Part 5
: Completing Household Jobs
Part 6
: The Part of Tens
Foolish Assumptions
This book is written for many different audiences. Your age does not determine maturity; your actions do. Even if it is not your time to function on your own as an adult, there are still essential skills within this book that you can begin working on now. This book is relevant to everyone!
Icons Used in This Book
Throughout this book, icons in the margins highlight certain types of valuable information that call out for your attention. Here are the icons you’ll encounter and a brief description of each.
The Tip icon marks tips that you can use to practice adulting skills and helpful tidbits that make certain situations easier to manage.
Remember icons mark the information that’s especially important to know. To siphon off the most important information in each chapter, just skim through these icons.
The Warning icon tells you to watch out! It marks important information that may save you headaches throughout your life.
Beyond the Book
In addition to the abundance of information and guidance related to Adulting that I provide in this book, you get access to even more help and information online at https://dummies.com. Just go to https://dummies.com and search for Adulting For Dummies to find a handy online cheat sheet as well as books and articles on other subjects that you may find useful.
Where to Go from Here
You don’t need to read this book in any particular order. You can read from Chapter 1 to the end if you’d like, but it isn’t required. If you need to focus on your health, begin with Part 4. If you need financial assistance regarding budgeting or taxes, check out Part 3. If you want relationship guidance, start with Part 2.
Part 1
Shifting from Surviving to Thriving
IN THIS PART …
Set achievable goals, recognize your potential, and find out how to make good decisions to go from surviving to thriving.
Speak up to advocate for yourself.
Find out what to look out for in the digital world to avoid vital mistakes and how to balance your real life and your online life.
Chapter 1
Experiencing the Thrill and Fear of Running Your Own Life
IN THIS CHAPTER
Realizing it’s time
Getting to know who you are
Taking charge of your future now
Everything seems like it’s happening so fast! So many changes with so many new steps to take and tasks to do. Nothing seems familiar anymore. Everyone in your life sees you differently now, and you might even feel different. It’s an exciting time, but it can also be a little scary. Becoming an adult happens to everyone. It happens at different times for people, but I’m guessing that since you have picked up this book, it is your time. Maybe you feel a little lost. Everyone may have been telling you it’s time to grow up but they’re not offering instructions on how to do so. You might be telling yourself, “Now, hold on a minute, I didn’t sign up for this,” which I completely understand. Everyone fears the unknown. But there’s something else you should be telling yourself:
I am ready to run my own life, make educated decisions for myself and loved ones, and begin to thrive — not just survive.
Running your own life is thrilling! Use this book as a guide to help you be successful in all areas of your life. Adulting encompasses everything from relationships to taking care of yourself with good nutrition, exercise, new jobs; handling first paychecks; budgeting your earnings; addressing the never-ending task of laundry; and trying to avoid some rookie mistakes.
If it isn’t quite your time for adulthood, you can begin practicing the skills covered in the book no matter how old you are. After all, age doesn’t determine maturity.
I encourage you to come back to this book repeatedly; you might even earmark some of the chapters as you go through if you think they’ll be especially useful down the road. Adulting is a forever learning experience. As your life changes, which it will, you must practice new adulting skills all the time. No one is perfect. If everyone was perfect, just think how boring life would be.
In this chapter, I touch on the many aspects of adulthood with a brief discussion, and then I tell you where you can find more information about it in other chapters. If you read a topic that you feel inclined to research deeper, go ahead and flip to that chapter!
Taking One Step at a Time
You’ve heard the phrase “baby steps.” Well, that statement is pretty accurate for heading into the next stage of your life. It’s your time to put one foot in front of the other and begin the journey of adulthood.
If you have anxiety about growing up, you are not alone. Growing up means you must face the fact that time is fleeting and you must somehow find value in your life. You have never had to do that before; most likely you have had parents, guardians, and teachers telling you what to do and what to think. Stepping out on your own means using that brain of yours for yourself.
Up until now, you have experienced the world from the lens of a child. You might have felt powerless and at the mercy of others. During childhood, emotions are the main prompt for making decisions, and as you were growing up, you might have felt helpless at times and dependent on others. It’s time to step out of the shadows and step into your life.
Using an adult lens for viewing life includes the following:
Being rational
Setting goals
Being proactive
Trying to be open-minded
Being non-defensive
Understanding that the world does not revolve around you
Realizing you have the power to control your thoughts and feelings
Did you know that some adults still view the world through the lens of a child? They let their emotions control their life’s destiny and live in a constant state of selfishness, fear, and helplessness. One of the goals in this book is to help you refocus your lens to gain a new perspective on life.
Entering the age of maturity
As a kid, you may have said, “I can’t wait to grow up!” This is normal; it gives you an incentive to learn about life and move toward adulthood. Society generally considers one of the most common signs of maturity to be age. Laws state you must be a certain age before getting your driver’s license or being able to vote. But remember, just because you’re no longer young in age, doesn’t mean you’re mature in all areas of your life.
Simply becoming an adult is not the only goal you should have. Achieving maturity should be the real goal. Maturity means reaching your full potential physically, emotionally, socially, morally, and intellectually, and not everyone matures at the same rate. For most people, personal development is a lifelong journey.
The following are a few signs of maturity:
Living independently
Handling your emotions
Becoming a dependable person
Having a willingness to work hard
Being able to agree to disagree
Being able to admit when you’re wrong
Realizing you still have a lot to learn
Not getting offended about everything and taking it all personally
Listening more and talking less
Showing compassion
Being happy for other people’s successes rather than being jealous
Learning to be grateful for what you have
If you just read this list and thought to yourself that you have a lot to work on, no worries. It’s all laid out for you in this book. Moving toward maturity takes time and effort. It doesn’t happen all at once.
Age does not measure your maturity — actions do.
When you cook popcorn on the stovetop, the kernels are in the same oil, in the same cooking vessel, and are experiencing the same heat, yet the kernels still pop at different times. This analogy shows the difference between age and maturity. Just because you’re a certain age does not mean it is your time to pop!
Understanding that change is inevitable
I remember sitting in my elementary school class when the teacher introduced the new vocabulary word for the week: inevitable. She explained that inevitable means that something is certain to happen and is unavoidable. To explain what inevitable means, the teacher wrote, “Change is inevitable,” on a large poster board. She explained that change is unavoidable. Your body will change, your relationships will change, your friends will change, and your entire life will change. As an elementary school student, I do not think I grasped the gravity of what that meant, but I understood that I would change, and my life would change.
Your life has already gone through many changes. As things continue to change, it’s important to recognize those changes, and grow with them and from them.
Although change is unavoidable, you can plan ahead for changes in your life. Start now with these tips to help you navigate inevitable changes.
Have a plan and a back-up plan; you will need it!
Look at the changes from a positive perspective.
Reflect and learn from the changes.
Create structure and routine to maintain a certain amount of normalcy during life changes.
Find your happy place (see
Chapter 15
) to relieve the stress that comes along with major life changes.
Be thankful for the opportunity that change brings. New situations may not feel normal yet, but make the best out them.
Change brings about a mixture of emotions. Stress is one of the main emotions that can come with it. Take care of yourself by eating right, staying active, and getting enough sleep. (Read more in Part 4.)
As your maturity grows, responding to change should become a simpler process. I am not saying change is ever easy, but learning to respond to it and having a plan in place will help you feel more in control of your life.
Mapping Out Your Destination
The more knowledge you have, the more options you will have for your future. Mapping out where you want to end up might require a bit of research. You’re doing that now by reading this book, and I’m proud of you for that. Your success in life will not happen by chance. If you ask any successful individual, they will say that their success can be attributed to hard work and planning.
You may have had people tell you what it means to be successful. Maybe they have said that a big paycheck, owning the most expensive car, living in a mansion, and marrying the hottest person around means success. But I would beg to differ. Success can mean something different to everyone. It all depends on your goals and priorities.
The following are a few tips that can contribute to being successful:
Do something you love. If you don’t love what you’re doing, why do it? Yes, you need a job for the income, but start determining now what you’re passionate about and map out a path to get there.
Work hard. Getting to your destination takes hard work. There is no free pass in life.
Learn from the bumps along the way.
Remember to have fun on your journey and think positively.
Keep moving forward. Success does not come from stagnating.
When it is time to work, put away the distractions that keep you from focusing on the task at hand.
Only you can achieve your goals. You cannot expect someone to step in and save the day.
Continuously plan. Your plan may veer off track; if it does, it’s up to you to steer it back on the path.
Do not overwork yourself. Obsessing over your goal and path will likely lead to burnout. Keep your goal something you
get
to do instead of something you
have
to do.
You must stay committed to your plan and your path to be successful, but you must also be realistic. If your commitment is not showing success after a predetermined amount of time, you should readjust your plan and review your steps to success. More on this in Chapter 2!
There is no right or wrong way to determine success. Whenever you decide what success looks like in your life, begin planning the proper steps to get there.
Appreciating who you are
Has anyone ever asked you who you are? Well, if they haven’t, take a few moments to think up an answer now. Go ahead. I’ll wait.
The answer you formed is your self-concept, which is the image you have of all aspects of yourself. If you like who you are, you will generally have a healthy self-concept. If you don’t feel good about yourself, you may have developed a low self-concept.
Your self-concept is resistant to change. You most likely developed your self-concept at a young age because of what people told you, and it was likely confirmed through different social actions throughout your life.
To function at your highest potential, you must have a positive self-concept and like who you are. If you don’t feel positive about yourself, there are ways to improve your self-concept:
Positively talk to yourself.
Think of the positive things about yourself and write them down. Then say them to yourself each day until you begin to believe them and live them. Self-affirmations are a good way to reshape your self-perception.
Set realistic expectations for yourself.
Setting a goal to become a professional baseball player, when you don’t even know how to play, will only bring about disappointment and failure in your mind.
Do not compare yourself to others.
Your self-concept will suffer if you make statements such as, “I’ll never be as skinny as that person,” or “I’ll never be as smart as my coworkers.” Instead, focus on what you do well and continue to become a better version of yourself, not someone else.
Focus on the things that bring you joy in life.
Focusing on the negative aspects of your life can be depressing. Instead, focus on the things you love. This helps you keep a healthy mindset.
Appreciating yourself can be tricky, but be proud of your personality, your heredity, and most importantly, who you are!
Improving your self-esteem takes time and effort, but you are worth the investment!
“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” — e.e. cummings
Thinking big
Planning out your steps to success is vital when it comes to your career as an adult, but figuring out what you want to be when you grow up might be the bigger challenge. One of the first things to consider when deciding on a career path is determining what you like to do. What you do every day for your job has a huge impact on whether you feel like you’re thriving in your life or just surviving.
Here are a few ways to start the process of deciding on a career path:
Determine your interests and your talents.
Make a list of all of the jobs you think you might be good at.
Do research and add to your list.
Chapter 8
goes into more detail on how to research prospective jobs. You may discover that there are many jobs out there that you have never heard of, and some may be right up your alley!
Take a career aptitude test.
Talk to a career counselor.
Volunteer or job shadow to see if you like the day’s work.
Remain open-minded and try new things.
If people keep asking you what you will be studying or what you want to do with your life and you aren’t quite sure yet, just say, “I’m exploring my options.”
It is OK not to know what you want to do with your life. The important part is that you get moving on figuring it out. Remaining idle stunts your growth as an individual and an adult.
Making Your Mark
Whether you’re in school or starting your career, people are watching you — not in a stalking sort of way, but people take notice of your behaviors, actions, and conversations. You will begin to make your mark in society as an adult, and you want your mark to be a good one. Here are some qualities to demonstrate when you begin to make your mark.
Act according to your values.
Be truthful and be real. People can spot a fake a mile away.
Be dependable.
Control your impulsive behaviors; be patient.
Don’t give up when things get tough.
Show discipline; use your time and resources wisely.
Get to know the people you work with.
Pick up the slack and pitch in when needed.
Don’t blame others and don’t make excuses for your behavior.
Don’t act in anger.
Forgive others and their mistakes. (Remember, you will make mistakes too.)
Listen to others.
Be kind and polite. Kindness goes a long way.
Be respectful to others, strangers, and friends alike.
Educate yourself before you begin sharing your opinion on hot topics.
Have a growth mindset.
Work on improving traits and habits you consider to be negative.
Be good to your family.
Learn continuously, honing your skills to reach your goals.
Accept others just as they are. Do not expect them to be something they are not.
Be adventurous, be bold.
Show concern for the people around you.
Cooperate with other people. You will need help in life; don’t burn your bridges.
Be generous. Give to others with monetary donations or by volunteering your time.
Remain humble. There is no need to talk about your accomplishments, let them speak for themselves.
Do not complain. If there is a problem, work to find a solution.
Be tactful instead of abrasive. There is no need to be rude.
People who earn a less-than-desirable reputation might have trouble repairing how others view them, but it can be done.
It might seem like there are a lot of steps to make your mark on this world, so good on you for picking up this book as a guide to being a better you!
Understanding Character
Personal character develops over time, and your parents and other adults in your life may have helped you work on developing yours for your entire life. As an adult, it’s time to put your values into practice in a positive way. The following are some universally honored values:
Courage
Fairness
Freedom
Honesty
Respect
Responsibility
Trustworthiness
While these values are shared around the world, people prioritize them in their own way. Even with your friends and family, you might express your values differently. Demonstrating responsibility shows your character in action. This involves choosing whether to take action and accept the consequences of that choice. Here are a few ways to build character as you mature:
Working hard
Practicing conflict resolution
Problem-solving
Managing others
Leading others
Engaging in tough conversations with patience and empathy
Giving credit where credit is due
Having an attitude that no task is too small or considered beneath you
Being nice, even when everyone around you is not
After determining your most important values, let them guide your life choices.
Navigating the Necessities
Deciding where to live is one of the most important things to consider during adulthood. Moving out of your parents’ house can be an appealing aspect as you move into adulthood.
You need to consider many things as you begin looking for housing. Here are just a few:
How much money will you have to spend on a house? Do you have a steady income so you can afford your own place?
What type of housing will work best: apartment, condo, single-family unit, duplex?
Will you live alone or with a roommate?
Is renting or buying better for your situation?
Are you emotionally ready to move out?
Do you have realistic expectations of what it’s like to live on your own?
Can you withstand the upkeep a home of your own requires?
Transportation is another necessity that can be costly, and you have to determine whether the benefits outweigh the costs. The following are a few questions to ask yourself:
Do you need a car, or can you rely on public transportation?
Is the type of car you’re interested in a need or a want?
Can you afford the car payments, insurance premiums, and other associated costs (for example, gas, oil changes, and license plates)?
Determining the difference between a need and a want is one of the first things to wrap your head around. You might need a car for transportation, but you might want a Porsche. Read more about budgeting, housing, and buying a car in Chapters 10 and 11.
Don’t bite off more than you can chew when it comes to housing and transportation; be realistic with what you can afford.
Providing the Goods
Being an adult means you have to take care of yourself because no one else is going to do it for you. The following responsibilities can help you stay on track and thrive as an adult:
Eating healthily (see
Chapter 12
)
Getting enough nutrients in your diet
Making healthy food choices
Drinking plenty of water
Staying active and exercising (see
Chapter 13
)
Making exercise a habit and incorporating physical activity into your daily routine
Incorporating a cardiovascular workout to keep your heart healthy
Taking a walk to get your heart pumping
Establishing daily habits (see
Chapter 14
)
Getting enough sleep
Practicing good hygiene
Scheduling doctor appointments regularly
Staying positive (see
Chapter 15
)
Asking for help from other people when you’re going through a tough time
Regulating your stress by finding a hobby or activity that you love
Keeping a clean environment (see
Chapter 16
)
Picking up after yourself and keeping your home or room tidy
Doing your laundry weekly to avoid a clothing pileup
Repairing your clothes to save money and help the environment
Cooking your meals (see
Chapter 17
)
Learning what appliances and equipment are around to help you be a better cook
Practicing safety and sanitation in your kitchen
Using a variety of cooking methods to keep dinner interesting
Taking care of yourself properly can reduce anxiety, help you function properly at work or school, reduce your stress levels, minimize irritability, and improve your energy levels.
On days when you might not be motivated to take care of yourself properly, revisit your goals in life and where you want to be. You might need some self-care time to keep trekking along.
Stepping Up: You Got This
Throughout this book, you might read the words You got this quite a bit. That is because I fully, 100% believe that you can do this! You can be a successful, thriving, happy adult.
I know there might be some fear involved in becoming an adult, but many people before you have done it, and so can you. Navigating life is not easy. It’s one of the most difficult things you will do, but along with the hardships adulthood brings comes long-lasting relationships, joyful memories, and proud moments.
In case you need some more convincing, here are some ways adulting is better than being a kid:
You can literally do whatever you want when you want. Granted, you will have to accept the consequences of your decisions, but you’re finally allowed to make your own choices and your own mistakes.
You can change your circumstances. When you were younger, you were stuck with the bully in your eighth-grade math class. You had to see him every day in class. But as an adult, you can choose to change your environment so you don’t have to interact with people who cause issues for you.
You have experienced a few things in life to help get you where you are, you have learned some hard lessons along the way, and you get to share those with others.
You get to choose your path and how you live your life.
You can solve your own problems.
You can have ice cream for breakfast.
Do you see a trend here? Being an adult is invigorating because you’re in charge. You make your own decisions and no one can tell you otherwise.
Being an adult comes with privileges. Take adulting seriously and be responsible for your decisions.
You can do this, you are worth it, and you will do great things in life!
Chapter 2
Knowing What You Want and Getting It
IN THIS CHAPTER
Creating goals
Managing the decision-making process
Being your own advocate
You have decisions to make every day. The choices begin the minute you hear your alarm in the morning: Do I get out of bed or hit the snooze button just one more time? What do I wear today? Should I have a donut or oatmeal for breakfast? Sometimes, making all of these decisions can be overwhelming, especially when even the smallest choices affect your success for the day.
For example, if you decide to hit the snooze button one more time, you would definitely be late for an important presentation, which in turn could affect your performance and the way others see you. This could restrict you from reaching your goals. If you choose to leave your umbrella at home in the morning and then get caught in the rain on your walk to work, you could be stuck with soaked clothes. Maybe you decide you want the donut instead of the normal oatmeal. The donut then proceeds to give you a sugar high so you crash around 1:00 p.m. and cannot focus on your tasks for the day. Small choices like these can create a ripple effect on your entire life! You can either use the decisions you make in a day to step closer to what you want in life, remain complacent, or sometimes even move backward. Every choice you make has a consequence — good or bad.
In this chapter, I first talk about how to set achievable goals for yourself. Learning how to set goals is crucial, but you also need to understand the decision-making process and the importance of advocating for your potential, so I also cover those topics later in the chapter. With the skills I cover here, you can begin identifying what you might want in life and work on getting there!
Setting Achievable Goals
Success and self-confidence go hand in hand. Are you confident in your own abilities? Really think about your answer to that question. If the answer is no, you might not be setting achievable goals. When you achieve something, you gain confidence in yourself. You become eager to try new things and look forward to new experiences.
Setting achievable goals and meeting them takes some work, but the outcomes are often outstanding. Just think how proud you’ll feel when you can tell your friends and family about a great achievement you’ve accomplished. The following sections walk you through setting achievable goals.
Pinpointing your potential
Potential is the possibility of becoming more than you are right at this moment. Every person has potential. Even a 100-year-old still has potential in their life! Each day is a new day to work toward being the best you can be.
Becoming the best you can be starts with knowing your potential. When you think about your potential, here are some things to help you think big!
Focus on what you like and what interests you.
It might be difficult at first, but try to make a list of what you like and what abilities you have. For example, maybe you are interested in all things involving animals. That is great! The next step is to match what you are interested in with your skills. Let’s say you are good at taking care of animals — you know, like walking them, feeding them, and giving them the love they deserve. With this type of interest and ability, you could volunteer at the local animal shelter or dog park to further develop your skills and decide possible next steps.
Don’t get distracted.
It’s really hard to reach your potential if you let yourself get distracted. Stay focused on what interests you and the path that leads to your future.
Stay healthy.
Do your best to make choices that promote good health. For example, a donut now and then is fine, but you probably shouldn’t choose a donut over oatmeal every day. You need to remain healthy to have the energy needed to reach all you can be! You can learn all about healthy choices in
Part 4
of this book.
Use your potential for good.
Whatever your interest is, put it toward creating good in the world. Returning to the animal-lover example, maybe you can gain more skills to open your
own
shelter in an effort to help abandoned animals. What a great goal to work for!
After you’ve thought about your potential, you’re ready to set some goals.
Considering categories of goals
To set an achievable goal, it’s vital to understand why goals are important in the first place. A goal is something that you want in life, such as what you plan to do, what you want to be, or what you want to have.
It’s a must to set a goal in your own words and even write it down! Only you know yourself best, so your goal needs to come from your perspective. It also needs to be positive, realistic, and something you actually like. You’ll quickly lose interest in achieving success if you don’t like what you’re working toward. It seems silly that someone would pursue something they do not like, but it happens all the time. People who do this don’t have a plan for their life; they just fall into a path or journey they have no passion for. They might even hate it! I want to help you stay far from this so you can utilize your passions and abilities.
You may not be aware that there different are types of goals. Here’s a list of some of the types of goals you need in your life:
Personal goals
include categories of your personal development, spirituality, and education. Examples include
I want to read more books, one each month.
I really need to get organized; I will set a timer to help me stay on track.
I am tired of losing time in my day! I want to get up earlier to make the most of the time I am given.
I will be more mentally present in every situation and give people my full attention.
Family goals
help to bring you together with the people you love the most in life to experience more happy moments than tense moments. Examples include
Let’s have a certain time each week to all eat together as a family!
Since we don’t get to see each other as much as we want, let’s plan a family vacation this summer.
How about we do the laundry together? You take out the trash, and I will wash the dishes each week. That way we each have a part in the chores.
Career goals
tend to be more of a roadmap or path to get you where you want to be. Whether you’re just having your first experience in the workforce or you have 20 years of experience, it’s important to continually set career goals. Some of the goals might include
I need to focus more on my schoolwork; I will make all As this semester.
I intend to apply to several college programs my senior year to see what might be a good fit.
I will earn a certification after high school that I am passionate about.
Maybe I should go back to school. I will get my master’s degree within four years.
To better excel at my current position, I will stop procrastinating!
Fitness goals
are directed to the health of your mind and body, which help you achieve other goals in your life. If you’re healthy and fit, you can focus on your passions and skills. Examples include
I plan to walk 20 minutes a day for this month.
I feel like my internal clock is off! I am setting a goal to wake up and go to sleep at the same time each day.
I will drink at least 2 liters of water a day.
Financial goals
can help you stay on track with your finances. Financial goals include
I am setting a goal to create and stick to a budget so I do not spend more than I earn each week.
This month I will pay my brother back.
Each time I get paid, I will save money for a rainy day.
Now it’s time for you to act. Spend some time thinking about a few goals you’d like to set and write them down. Think about where you are right now in life. Are you heading toward a transition, or are you just beginning a new chapter? Either way, it’s important to set goals based on what is most meaningful to you. Start with goals that are easy to achieve so you can gain self-confidence in your abilities.
