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- Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
- Kategorie: Fachliteratur
- Sprache: Englisch
A USA Today National Bestseller! An inspiring and personal roadmap to servant leadership In All Pride, No Ego: A Queer Executive's Journey to Living and Leading Authentically, celebrated corporate leader James Fielding delivers an inspirational leadership story told from the perspective of an out and proud LGBTQ+ executive. In the book, you'll explore a call-to-action for authentic servant leadership that encourages people to own their truth and bring out the best in themselves and their communities. The author explains his key decisions and inflection points and highlights how his leadership style, learnings, successes, and failures informed his rise through the rungs of the corporate ladder. You'll also find: * The importance of becoming and remaining a lifelong learner and constantly curious * How to control the controllable while leaving space for the possible * Strategies for employing truthful and inspirational servant leadership An essential resource for managers, executives, directors, and other business leaders, All Pride, No Ego: A Queer Executive's Journey to Living and Leading Authentically will also earn a place on the bookshelves of young, aspiring leaders seeking practical and impactful strategies for real-world leadership.
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Seitenzahl: 326
Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2023
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Table of Contents
Cover
Praise for
All Pride, No Ego
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Preface
1 Control the Controllable, but Leave Space for the Possible
2 Be a Lifelong Learner and Stay Constantly Curious
3 Don't Let Anyone Dim Your Light
4 Find and Embrace All Your Families, Especially the Ones You Choose
5 How to Define
Enough
?
6 May We Leave Our Corner of the World a Better Place than We Found It
7 Trust Your Jiminy Cricket … Learn to Listen to and Love Yourself
8 Building High‐Performing Teams and Cultures of Excellence
9
Selfish
Is Not a Bad Word
10 Authentic Kindness Is More Important than Being Right or First
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Index
End User License Agreement
Guide
Cover Page
Praise for All Pride, No Ego
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Preface
Table of Contents
Begin Reading
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Index
Wiley End User License Agreement
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Praise for All Pride, No Ego
“Reading Jim's book is like talking with a friend or working with him every day on a project. We are honored to be included in his story and are inspired by his authentic leadership style and success.”
SOFIA VERGARA and LUIS BALAGUER,Actors, Producers, Entrepreneurs, and Founders Latin World Entertainment
“Jim's personal and professional history offers a model to successfully navigate life's journey.”
ANDY MOONEY,CEO Fender
“If you're searching, eager to learn, and hungry for ways to make the world a better place, read Jim's book! In writing this amazing compendium of lessons drawn from his life and his career, Jim Fielding has shown us what it means to be open, curious, and vulnerable—all prerequisites for a life filled with meaning and impact. His journey is as unique as he is, but the lessons and how he navigated its challenges and joys are universal. We should all follow Jim's example and strive for the examined life, and then share it with others as Jim has done.”
LAURIE BURNS MCROBBIE,First Lady Emerita, Indiana University and Founder, Women's Philanthropic Leadership Council
“Jim Fielding's All Pride, No Ego is inspiring, honest, funny, and candid. I learned about Jim, but I also took away lessons to apply to my own life—both personal and professional. And it is so wonderfully Midwestern. I know that it will have impact.”
ANNE CAREY,President Archer Gray Productions
“I consider Jim a good friend, a mentor, and an inspiration in many ways. This book gave me a front‐row seat into his life, personally and professionally. All Pride, No Ego is truly authentic, bold, funny, and emotional. A first of its kind. A book anyone interested in the corporate world, or even for those already in leadership positions, should be required to read. All Pride, No Ego is ‘unputdownable’.”
GERARDO CELASCO,Actor, Producer, Entrepreneur
“Jim has built a tremendous career based on telling stories, and now, lucky for us, he's sharing his own. If you lead a team of humans, read this book.”
JILL ROBERTSON,Co‐Founder and CEO, Office
“Inspiring and riveting, All Pride, No Ego weaves a fascinating career with wisdom we can all use during these ever‐changing times. Jim's journey is a lesson in love, compassion, balance, and evolution, and a compelling reminder to keep our feet on the ground as we reach for the stars.”
ELIZABETH LITTEN MILLER,Former Disney, Dreamworks, and Fox Creative Executive
“I was lucky to experience Jim's leadership firsthand at Disney and at Fox. As an Executive Coach now, I'm thrilled that the world will have access to his insights, wisdom, and actionable career development lessons. Jim is a natural storyteller, and the vulnerability in which he shares how he struggled yet overcame personal and professional challenges is very inspiring. This book should be required reading for students and young professionals interested in succeeding in business roles today while remaining true to their authentic selves.”
EVA STEORTZ,Executive Coach, Marketing Expert and 20 year Disney Executive
ALL PRIDE, NO EGO
A Queer Executive's Journey to Living and Leading Authentically
JIM FIELDING
Copyright © 2023 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc. All rights reserved.
Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.Published simultaneously in Canada.
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Library of Congress Cataloging‐in‐Publication Data:
Names: Fielding, Jim (James D.), author.
Title: All pride, no ego : a queer executive’s journey to living and leading authentically / Jim Fielding.
Description: Hoboken, New Jersey : John Wiley & Sons, Inc., [2023] | Includes index.
Identifiers: LCCN 2023007177 (print) | LCCN 2023007178 (ebook) | ISBN 9781394165285 (cloth) | ISBN 9781394165308 (adobe pdf) | ISBN 9781394165292 (epub)
Subjects: LCSH: Fielding, Jim (James D.) | Gay businessmen—United States—Biography. | Gay executives—United States—Biography. | Gays—United States—Biography. | Success in business. | Success.
Classification: LCC HC102.5.F495 A3 2023 (print) | LCC HC102.5.F495 (ebook) | DDC 338.092 [B]—dc23/eng/20230223
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2023007177
LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2023007178
Cover Design: Paul McCarthyCover Image: © Getty Images | Arijit Mondal
This book is dedicated to young people and future leaders globally, especially those questioning how and where they fit in the world.
I will work hard to support and build communities where you can live your full and authentic lives.
Be Happy and Keep Smiling!
Preface
Hello, Community of Readers, and thank you so much for taking the time to consider this book! All Pride, No Ego is about my journey and what shaped my foundational beliefs and leadership style. I did not intend to write an autobiography or a sweeping review of my life, but I have realized that my leadership style and success in my career are completely dependent on my personal journey. I quickly realized that I had to share my successes, failures, and vulnerabilities in order to illustrate why I lead the way I do. I will share anecdotes and episodes, and through sharing and storytelling, I hope to help you achieve whatever your definition of success is for your life. I hope that you see yourself in my story and that regardless of your age, gender, sexual identity, nationality, or profession you learn something useful. I am not sure there has ever really been a book like this. My story is unique, although many of you will recognize pieces of my learnings in your own path. I think it is important for me to share my insights and experiences in an effort to positively impact the world. My learnings and experience may not be applicable to everyone's journey, but I do hope you find this book enjoyable, useful, and thought‐provoking. I hope it makes you reflect, learn, and maybe even laugh. If I can help one person find and honor their authentic path in life, I will consider this endeavor a success. I have learned that there is no way to uncouple my leadership style, my creativity, and my professional mistakes from my personal growth, education, and failures. That is what makes me unique. You have vulnerabilities and quirks that make you unique as well. Let's embrace those differences and our authentic stories and change the world. You are never alone, and I am honored to share my learnings and experience with you.
To fully understand my learnings, you will need some foundational information as background and context for what I will share with you. I was born in April 1965 in Toledo, Ohio, at Toledo Hospital. A first‐born, Aries, Midwestern male with all of the expectations that accompany these facts. I am the very tippy tail end of being a Baby Boomer, but as a marketer, I can assure you I fully exhibit those traits and expectations normally associated with that demographic. My father was a second‐generation firefighter, a military school graduate, an All‐state football player, and a Coast Guard veteran. My mother was an x‐ray technician, an original latchkey child/child of divorce, and a popular friend to all, who became a stay‐at‐home housewife when I was born. Both were natives of Toledo, and my extended family was generally in the Toledo area. We attended St. James Church and Sunday dinners at my paternal grandparents weekly.
My beloved sister arrived in 1967, and on the surface, we looked like the perfect, nuclear family. Underneath, our vulnerabilities and dysfunctions were numerous and hidden from public view. We have dealt with addiction, racism, misogyny, homophobia, and a “Fieldings never lie” mantra and myth that would influence my entire life and psyche. I am not sure my parents were each other's great love, but they made it work in their own way. I felt many expectations, but I also felt like I was given wings and a belief that I would leave home and do something interesting. They just did not realize that they had birthed a complicated unicorn, one who did not naturally fit in traditional societal norms and stereotypes, no matter how hard I tried. And, I tried very hard to fit in. In spite of all this, I did feel love, and I loved my family very much.
I have known I was different, unique, and special since I was 6 years old. I also have known I was gay since then. I did not know what it was called, but I knew I liked boys more than girls (except as friends) and I thought I was broken. I guess this means I have felt “less than” for over 50 years. I went through all of the classic 1980s confusion, guilt, and self‐loathing. I wanted to be fixed. I hoped I was bisexual, or that I was in some kind of “phase.” I had no one to talk to about my feelings. I had no role models. Therapy was not a common resource. Representation matters! I listened to my family tell horrible racist and homophobic jokes and stories at the dinner table and cocktail parties. I thought gay men were all hairdressers, decorators, or drag queens. If a man in their life was slightly effeminate, he was called fey, or gay, or light in the loafers. I considered surgery to change my voice because I thought I sounded gay. I considered suicide. More than once. I read a lot and listened to a lot of music and I prayed for change. I shoved my feelings down, and I became the “Best Little Boy” I could be. I was competitive, an overachiever, a people pleaser, a joiner, and an excellent student. Why? To prove to myself and anyone else that I was just as good as my straight peers.
I knew I was different and a minority, but I felt I had to show that was only one piece of me. I was not going to let my “deficiency” hold me back from anything. I also knew from a very young age that my future was outside of Toledo, so I needed good grades and activities to gain scholarships and grants to get to a good university. I was president of National Honor Society, German Club, and Senior Class Sargent at Arms. I had many girl friends, several male friends who were my rocks and confidantes, and a bunch of people who did not understand me and just made trouble. In high school, I was voted Most Ambitious, Most Likely To Succeed, Most Preppy, and Biggest Gossip … trying to fit in academically and socially. Most Repressed, Depressed, or Conflicted were not voting categories.
Indiana University, Bloomington, and my overseas study in Copenhagen, Denmark, in many ways saved and shaped my life. I will share more of that later in the book, but I know the decision to attend IU and my experiences there allowed me to start the process of loving and understanding myself. Studying political science and business management opened my eyes and mind to global socioeconomics and geopolitics. I had no idea it would be so relevant to my life and chosen path. This period of my life is also when I begin to build my Chosen Family, a group I have loved with, laughed with, and needed for almost 40 years now.
I have enjoyed a long, interesting, and successful career. I was privileged to work with some of the biggest names in retail and media: Millard Drexler, Michael Eisner, Robert Iger, Steve Jobs, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Andy Mooney, Stacey Snider, Ann Daly, Michael Francis, and Amy Nauiokas. All are true innovators and legends, and I am grateful for their guidance and leadership. I also had some “Bad Bosses” and I now understand that sometimes painful experiences and hard‐earned wisdom from tough situations is as valuable as what you gain from the superstars.
It is interesting to note, however, that I never had a queer boss or mentor to whom I directly reported. I had queer peers and friends in the industry, and I leaned on that network often, but it does strike me that there was a very visible and impenetrable glass ceiling at times in our industry. I successfully built teams and cultures at very complex and challenging companies and prided myself on managing “diversity” early. I am grateful for everyone who worked with me and allowed me to hone my leadership style through a series of experiments, mistakes, and triumphs. As I grew as a leader, I grew as a person and as a man. I also sacrificed my personal life for professional success, whatever that truly means. I have had four long‐term relationships, including one marriage and divorce. I did not have the wisdom to prioritize and balance well early in my life. I was on a mission and had something to prove, mostly to myself. Hindsight is 20/20. I wish someone had shown me my future in a way that allowed me to learn earlier in my life.
Which brings me to this effort. Why a book? Why now? Will anyone actually read my story?
Who cares? I think my leadership style and philosophy are unique and represent an important perspective and voice that is lacking in this genre. There are not a lot of stories or books about Queer Leadership and I believe underrepresented and historically marginalized communities need to be heard. Fundamental human rights are under attack daily. We have lost civility in our social discourse and our democracy. There are rampant mental health issues and impacts, especially in the LBGTQ+ community. Teen suicide is on the rise. There is an appalling lack of mental health services in our schools and communities. Our youth are barraged with instantaneous feedback and attention in this social media world and are not mature enough to handle criticism or separate fact from fiction. Our children have almost unlimited access to information but are losing the ability to truly connect with others in a physical world.
As I write this book, we are slowly emerging into a post Covid‐19 world, and I have had periods of isolation and self‐reflection. I have watched with increasing anger, horror, and frustration as elected officials attempt to legislate away queer lifestyle and existence, literally forcing human beings to deny their authentic selves and back into the closet. I never imagined my gender identification and/or sexuality would become so politicized. Essentially, by choosing to embrace my authentic self, I have become an activist. I also have been successful in challenging industries like retail and media/entertainment. I worked hard and do not take anything for granted. I want to share my learnings with you to show how anything is possible.
Through all of this and especially throughout the last 5–10 years of my life, I have begun to realize I need to use my voice and platform more effectively to create positive change in the world. I think the freedom of “leaving corporate” has emboldened me and sharpened my senses. I feel renewed and refreshed, and have a heightened awareness of injustice globally. I am keenly focused on the social justice issues of all marginalized voices and communities. Black Lives Matter. Women have a right to choose. Hate crimes against any community scar us a civil society. We all deserve the right to marry. Dictators cannot invade sovereign territories without some kind of swift and decisive response from the global superpowers. We just need to care more. Queer rights are human rights. My homosexuality is my business, and is not a lifestyle choice. But quietly sitting on the sidelines is also not a choice in this environment. We have to love authentically, speak our truth, and address injustice and intolerance. We also have to protect our community from the senseless violence of gay nightclub shooting rampages and the horror of hate violence, especially against the trans community. While some days are better than others, the fight is truly never over.
As I write this, I have watched with horror as the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade. Next, a sitting justice of the same body declares “we” should go after gay marriage and contraception. I have wept with frustration and anger, but it steels my spine to continue with this book and speaking out to support human rights in all forms. The headlines and stories out of Florida and Texas are shameful, frightening, and unbelievable. It feels more like 1960 than 2022, but we all have to face the realities of our current world. We cannot just be angry and frustrated, we must activate and band together to fight this ignorant, hate‐filled, and morally bankrupt legislation and rhetoric. Democracy takes work. It is a privilege, not a right, and you must do your part to participate. Do not get lazy and expect others to do the necessary steps to protect you and your family. I will include a list of resources and references at the end of this book if you are looking for ways to get involved locally and in the community.
As I was engaging on this effort, I had some personal insights that I want to share with you. I am a cisgender white male, end of the Baby Boomer generation Buckeye who was born and raised in the industrial Midwest. My family was working upper‐middle class, but definitely blue collar in their orientation. We are also proud products of our German, Welsh, and Irish ancestry and heritage. I was taught to find a job that would provide security and stability, which was defined as a guaranteed salary and good benefits, and a pension. The ultimate goals for my generation were very different than for college graduates today. I was taught to be self‐reliant and to plan for the worst scenarios, and not rely on anyone for help, especially the government. My family was Reagan Republicans … small government, anti‐welfare, anti‐social safety net, good support for defense and veterans, and let the world take care of its issues. We were taught to dream, but be realistic in our expectations. It was fine to be ambitious, but keep it in check. Success meant a family, kids, working at the same job for 40 years, and retiring with the previously mentioned pension and a watch, and maybe if you were lucky, retiring in Florida to get out of the cold and snow.
Although I now identify as a cis‐gender, homosexual, I acknowledge the fact that I benefited from white, male privilege. I realize that made and makes my path easier than many other people, especially my peers in the BIPOC and Trans communities. Still, I did not always feel like my path was challenge free. I did not know anyone whose parents were doctors, lawyers, or CEOS. I did not know the words start‐up or entrepreneur. Nobody worked in tech. I did not know anyone whose Dad owned a company. Our parents were all employees, not bosses. In fact, I watched my Dad struggle with a small company he owned and had inherited from my grandfather. It was called Airways Engineering and was an industrial air conditioning cleaning and maintenance company. Like most firefighters, this was my Dad's side gig to earn more money on his days off from the department. My grandfather had started the business in the 1960s and passed it on to my Dad. He had three workers, an office in our basement, and a separate phone line. He had a checkbook, a ledger, an adding machine, and business cards. I thought it was cool that he was a boss, but I never considered that to be his true calling.
In the late 1970s, I watched his business fall apart, as his major customer, Kresge and Kmart, were sold and decided to centralize their maintenance support to larger operations and national companies. Overnight, his business evaporated and he had to liquidate and lay off people. It never occurred to me to call my Dad a business owner or an entrepreneur. My Dad was a firefighter with a side hustle he did on his days off. I thought it was simply a way to earn more money. Frankly, I never fully understood the emotions of what happened to him and the impact of this closure. I was naïve and self‐absorbed, and my Dad was stoic and did not show emotions. He never talked to me about “business,” and he never expected me to run it one day.
A lot of my business world innocence and naïveté is a result of when and where I was born. Toledo, Ohio, was directly linked to Detroit, Michigan, and the auto industry. Any impacts on the domestic auto industry (gas prices, oil crisis, foreign imports, union battles) caused dramatic fluctuations in our economy and lives. I spent one semester of elementary school going to school from 1 p.m. to 7 p.m., as our school was closed due to the cost of heating oil and other utilities. That meant we had to “share” one of the remaining open schools, and we were bussed daily for our afternoon shift. The only kids I knew who went to private school were the Catholic kids, and it was solely about a religious education, not about college preparation.
Our public high school counselors focused on truancy, delinquency, and kids who were failing. There was no college preparation training or standardized test study programs. We did not even have a college fair night! Since my parents had not gone away for college, I learned about various universities and colleges from the brochures mailed to my house after I took the PSAT. I was lucky that some of my older friends who graduated before me did go away for school, so I was able to watch and learn from them. I visited them on campus during my junior and senior year of high school and that was really my first exposure to “going away for school.” For a variety of reasons, I knew I needed good grades, activities, and letters of recommendation to “get out.”
My dear friend Amanda was one year ahead of me, and she was (and still is) a role model for me. I tried to do everything she did to get the scholarships and the advice on choosing the right school. Amanda taught me about the importance of balancing a passion for arts, humanities, and the sciences. She also educated me on class ranking, preparing for standardized tests, and opening my mind to schools everywhere. We also laughed a lot and saw a lot of movies together. We ate way too many late‐night breakfast buffets and danced with joy and abandon. Amanda was my built‐in school dance partner, the smartest person I knew, and wise way beyond her years. When I saw her graduate at the top of her class and go to an elite all‐girls' college in Virginia, she literally changed my life. I met Amanda when I was 13 years old and love her like a sister still today.
I was convinced I wanted to go to an Ivy League school, especially Princeton, probably from watching movies or reading articles somewhere. In the end, I was too intimidated to even finish the application, as my inner voice stunted my ambition. I had not gone to a prep school. I was not a legacy. I was not from a wealthy family that had a family office or a trust set up for me. I was so insecure in so many ways, not just about my sexuality. Do not get me wrong. I am not judging anyone who was born into a different situation or created their own opportunities and had a different path. In fact, I am jealous and I wish I had some guidance and wisdom bestowed upon me along the way. At times, I felt like an explorer, and I made a lot of mistakes. I hopefully learned from all of them. I think these facts are why I work so hard to help others find their path and enable them to see what is possible with an education.
Why am I sharing all of this? It is not for any honor and glory for being a self‐made man. I do not actually think I am that different from many of my friends and peers who grew up at the same time as I did. It is to show you that anything is possible and that the American dream did exist for me. At times, I assumed the world was against me, as I was “different,” but I forged ahead. My hard work, natural talents, eagerness to learn, and some good mentors along the way made me who I am today.
I am saying this because I realize I had to overcome two sets of insecurities and self‐perceptions. The first was my socioeconomic background and family position. The second was my sexuality and sexual identity. I realize now that I was basically running to overcome both real and imagined deficiencies. I think that is why I sometimes felt as if I were on a never‐ending treadmill, just trying to keep up. I am not stronger than anyone else I know. I am not more lucky or more strategic. I have always tried to navigate this world honestly and with hard work, and I feel like I have been rewarded with an interesting life and a diverse set of experiences and friends as a result.
As I said before, my life is not a guideline or rule book for anyone else, but I do hope I can share some learnings that may feel like a bit of road map for some people. I also hope I can encourage people to stay open‐minded and open‐eyed to new opportunities and insights. You never really know what is possible until it happens. I also hope that readers learn to ask for help when needed and realize it is much easier to build your definition of a successful life with support and a community.
Reading Caste by Isabel Wilkerson and How to Be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi was also an awakening for me and spurred me to this exercise of self‐discovery and sharing. My work and education in the Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion space has been fascinating and daunting. I was struck how a poli‐sci major and a history buff had somehow missed these types of teachings and insights they shared in my curriculum. I realized there was a caste system that existed as I was coming up in the world, and the caste system I was put into as a gay man when I came out was real. I am not remotely trying to compare my experience to that of a BIPOC individual, but I do empathize and understand more now than ever in my life. It is tiring, overwhelming, and frustrating to go through life and a career as an “other.” It is important to acknowledge visible and invisible differences. While I present initially as a white male when I enter a room, I have invisible differences that have in many ways marginalized me before I even begin. I think this is another reason I chose this writing project.
The theme of my 1983 high school graduation speech to the Whitmer National Honor Society was “May we leave our corner of the world a little better than we found it.” Forty odd years later, I share this work with you following that same sentiment. I wish I had a book like this when I was starting out in my career. I wish the scared and lonely teenager and young man that I was had someone share a book like this with him. I wish I could go back and try some things over! I hope everyone takes one new insight away after spending time with my story and learnings. I hope you more quickly define happiness, fulfillment, and success than I did. I would be honored to support any journey to your personal truth, leading authentically, and living with joy and satisfaction. Live out loud! Keep smiling! Love yourself! Find someone to love and be loved unconditionally! Please know I am rooting for you every day and I cannot wait to see and feel your impact on your community and the world. We all need your authentic power and contributions.
As I have not written this book in chronological order, I am going to share a brief timeline overview of my career with you now as an orientation and a guide for my stories:
1965
Born in Toledo, Ohio
1983
Graduated Whitmer High School, Toledo, Ohio
Spring 1986
Overseas Study (Denmark International Studies), Copenhagen, Denmark
1987
Graduated Indiana University, B.A. Political Science with Outside Field in Business Administration, Bloomington, Indiana
1987–1989
Dayton Hudson Department Store Company, Minneapolis, Minnesota; Flint, Michigan; and Detroit, Michigan
1989–1998
Gap, Inc., Detroit, Michigan; Chicago, Illinois; and San Francisco, California
1998–1999
J. Peterman Company, Lexington, Kentucky
1999–2001
Lands' End, Madison, Wisconsin
2001–2012
The Walt Disney Company, Los Angeles, California
2001–2002
VP, Merchandise Disney Catalog
2002–2004
SVP, Merchandise Disney Store
2004–2008
SVP and EVP, Retail Sales and Marketing, Disney Consumer Products
2008–2012
President, Disney Stores Worldwide
2012–2014
CEO, Claire's Stores, Inc., Chicago, Illinois
2014–2015
SVP, Consumer Products AwesomenessTV, Los Angeles, California
2015– 2017
Global Head, Consumer Products Dreamworks, Los Angeles, California
2017–2019
President, Consumer Products and Experiences, 20th Century Fox Studios and Television, Los Angeles, California
2019–2020
Partner, ThenWhat, Inc., Beverly Hills, California
2020–Present
President, Archer Gray Co‐Lab, New York, New York (based in Atlanta, Georgia)
2021–2023
Executive‐in‐Residence (part‐time), Indiana University, Bloomington, Indiana
And now I give you All Pride, No Ego… . Let's go on a leadership and personal growth journey, and thank you for caring enough to spend some time with me.
1Control the Controllable, but Leave Space for the Possible
Anyone who has worked with me in the last 25 years has heard me say this phrase multiple times. It has become a mantra of sorts for me and the teams I have led. It is applicable to many situations, both personal and professional. When you work in retail and media/entertainment, you use it often, as the pace of change can be frightening.
I have always been a very firm believer in fate. I am spiritual and believe in the power of prayer and the presence of a Higher Power. I was raised with the guidance of the Golden Rule “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” I was raised in a family that valued intelligent discussion, participating in your community, and giving back to those less fortunate than you. I was also raised with the simple idea that hard work and patience will be rewarded, although no one ever fully defined the reward to me, or correctly for my life.
While I believe in fate and destiny to an extent, I have never felt like a victim or a bystander waiting and watching for something impactful to occur in my life. In fact, I firmly believe the Fates have multiple scenarios in their plans for us. You are presented options and decisions, and how you choose those inflection points will guide your journey. We have choice. We have control. You just need to learn how much and how to use it wisely. If you haven't seen an amazing movie called The Adjustment Bureau, starring Matt Damon and Emily Blunt, I highly endorse a viewing. It actually examines and explains my personal drive and belief system very accurately. I watch it often and learn something new every time.
The harsh reality of my Type‐A, compulsive, and overzealous control freak behavior for much of my life is that I am a classic Adult Child of an Alcoholic (ACOA). I was raised in an active alcoholic household. My mother suffered with the disease my entire life, finally entering a rehabilitation program on my 39th birthday. We had severe and regular episodes of “Mom's sickness.” Vodka was her demon. Ironically, vodka is my spirit of choice, although I am not a very big drinker. As the first‐born and Mom's favorite boy, I learned at a very young age how to help her, how to cope, and how never to discuss or disclose the situation. I felt it was my job to protect my younger sister from the disease's impact. The disease drove a wedge between me and my Dad, because I wanted him to “fix” and handle the situation. I felt he ignored the situation and did not listen to her or try to learn her patterns and triggers.
