Angel Ayahmah E-Book

Sandra Paixmont

• Herausgeber: tredition
• Kategorie: Religion und Spiritualität
• Serie: Angel Ayahmah
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 624

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024

Beschreibung

During a meeting with God, Mary and the archangels Michael, Raphael and Uriel, Ayahmah learns that Archangel Gabriel has disappeared. Following her destiny, Ayahmah sets out on an adventurous search together with her faithful companions, the small crustacean Akamaniyu and the gnomina Fred. She reaches foreign planets, roams distant spheres and travels through the infinite expanses of the universe. Ayahmah has to fight against villains, monsters and also against the temptation to evil. Evil has grown, and therefore the entire heavenly world is engaged in the salvation of good. Even God himself has to intervene.

Leseprobe

Sandra Paixmont

Angel Ayahmah

And the Search for Gabriel

© 2024 Sandra Paixmont

Website: engel-ayahmah.com

Proofreading, illustration: Melanie Schörner

Editing: Alfred Winkler

ISBN

Paperback

ISBN 978-3-384-41965-1

Hardcover

ISBN 978-3-384-41966-8

e-book

ISBN 978-3-384-41967-5

Printing and distribution on behalf of the author:

tredition GmbH, Heinz-Beusen-Stieg 5, 22926 Ahrensburg, Germany

The work, including its parts, is protected by copyright. The author is responsible for the content. Any use is not permitted without his consent. The publication and distribution are carried out on behalf of the author, which can be reached at: tredition GmbH, Abteilung "Impressumservice", Heinz-Beusen-Stieg 5, 22926 Ahrensburg, Germany.

The angel said to him, “I am Gabriel. I stand in the presence of God, and I have been sent to speak to you and to tell you this good news.“

Luke 1:19

Gabriel's Watch

Oh, that was a beautiful meeting with dear God, with Jesus, with the archangels Raphael, Michael, and Uriel – no trouble, no stress, no hustle and bustle. Ayahmah wallows in her memories and is happy. Ayahmah is a female angel with long, thick, blonde hair and bright blue eyes. The feathers of her angel wings are mostly bright white, except for a very few individual ones; other celestial beings had given them a different color, each with its own meaning. Ayahmah wears a pink angel's robe, a long-sleeved dress that reaches from her shoulders to her calves. A rather narrow, golden-yellow belt wraps around her hips. On her left she has tied a loop in this belt, in which she carries her angelic sword Santa Mare, given to her by the good Lord.

"Akamaniyu, Fred, are you here?" asks Ayahmah, tapping her backpack as a precaution.

"Of course!" Fred and Akamaniyu reply in unison. Once again, they are accompanying Ayahmah in her backpack: Akamaniyu, the blue crustacean with antennae, at the ends of which there are small stars; Ayahmah once named him her little lucky star from the planet of the ostalgics, and Fred, a gnomina from the Stone Planet, with his pointed hat, who likes to call himself a discoverer because he discovered Ayahmah's sword when she lost it one time.

"Oh – have you found harmony between yourselves?" "Yes, we have, so you don't always have to wonder which of us is speaking."

"But you can both still think for yourselves?" Ayahmah asks with interest.

"Of course!" they answer again in unison. Ayahmah has to laugh. She likes how well the two get along now, and what good friends she has in them. I want to return to Jesus, Ayahmah thinks, because I must ask him something. I don't know exactly what happened on the planet where I met Fred and got my sword Santa Mare back. I only have very faint memories of it. Afterwards, they had all met at Raphael's. They celebrated, drank, ate, and talked. But now I'm no longer with Raphael on the planet. I don't even know where I am here, Ayahmah reminds herself. Where are all the others? Did I fall asleep – and end up somewhere else? Ayahmah turns to look behind her. She notices that she casts a long shadow. She turns back and looks forward again into a big, bright, beautiful sun. When I look forward, it's much more pleasant than when I look back and see this elongated shadow, she thinks. Crystal Ball Watch, where is it? I gave Gabriel's watch this name. I want to find Gabriel. I'd like to ask Jesus, I'd like to talk to God the Father, and I'd also like to ask Uriel something. Ayahmah sits down and notices a rumbling in her backpack.

"Hey, what's wrong? Are you arguing?" asks Ayahmah.

"Yes, we are," Fred replies angrily.

"What's the matter? Why? Get out of my backpack! I need to know what it's all about. You were just getting along really well. Once I had an argument with Frederico, which wasn't good at all, not for either of us. You shouldn't argue, it's not good for you." Frederico is Ayahmah's camilloman friend, who has accompanied her since her angelic childhood in the kingdom of heaven. Camillomans are beautiful animals. They have huge, cute saucer eyes, a tiny knobbly nose, small ears, a long snout, and four legs. And they have a tail in the middle of their back. This is very unusual, and they use it to steer when they fly. Camillomans come in many different colors. Frederico, for example, is red. Fred, the gnomina, holds up a finger:

"Look, he pinched me!"

"Really? Akamaniyu! Did you pinch Fred?"

"Yes, I did!" he replies succinctly.

"Why that?" reprimands Ayahmah.

"Because he didn't pay attention to me. This was my spot. Then he came along and said he'd lie down there now, but I was already lying there and it hurt me when he spread out so much," explains Akamaniyu.

"Why didn't you just move a little bit?" Ayahmah tries to understand.

"Because I was lying there so comfortably."

"Fred, why did you want to lie down exactly where Akamaniyu was?"

"Because the spot looked very comfortable." Ayahmah looks at them:

"But you know that it's much more harmonious when you coordinate with each other," she says.

"Of course, we know that's nice," Fred agrees, "but I also want to…"

"What do you want?" asks Ayahmah.

"I'd also like to lie like Akamaniyu in your backpack," explains Fred.

"But you've got a completely different body shape than Akamaniyu. You'll never lie in there like he does. It'll always look different with him than with you!" Ayahmah explains.

"I guess you're right," Akamaniyu grumbles.

"Akamaniyu, show him, let him lie in your spot for a while. He'll notice that he doesn't like your hollow at all, and he will lie down again where he first lay, in his own spot. After all, we don't have time to argue about where we're going to lie." The moment Ayahmah says this, she feels a pang in her heart. "Of course," she corrects herself, "we must be able to talk about everything. We must get everything out of the way, because we still have a great mission ahead of us. We absolutely must find Gabriel! Will you seek him with me? Could you come to an agreement? That's very important!" Akamaniyu and Fred take a deep breath, look at each other critically, but then they start smiling at each other, and finally they both have to laugh. Ayahmah is happy and is completely absorbed by the situation, which is why she jumps when someone taps her on the shoulder.

"Yikes! Jesus! " Ayahmah exclaims in amazement, "nice to meet you here. I was about to look for you."

"Greetings, Ayahmah! You called me?"

"Yes, I did. You know, I have a strange feeling in my heart. Can you help me? What was it like for you when you were on Earth? How was it? Were you threatened?"

"Come here, Ayahmah, sit down next to me," Jesus replies, and they both sit down. "Look at the sky! What do you see?" Jesus asks.

"I see beautiful clouds, not as beautiful as Earnest, because he is really voluminous, a special cloud, but the clouds here are still beautiful." Earnest is a cloud and an old friend of Ayahmah. He is ponderous and speaks very sloooowly. As an angel child in the kingdom of heaven, Ayahmah liked to lie down on her cloud Earnest. He always gave her strength. With him, she could always refuel when she was tired. He gave her such a nice feeling of security.

"What do you see beyond that?" Jesus asks.

"I see blue sky," Ayahmah replies.

"What else do you see? What do you see beyond the sky, Ayahmah? Look further on!"

"Beyond the sky?" asks Ayahmah in amazement. "What am I supposed to see beyond the sky?"

"Look into the distance, further and further on." Ayahmah concentrates and tries to see what he means.

"Don't stop searching, look into the distance!" Jesus urges her. The blue of the sky becomes darker and wider; the clouds form an elongated wall, so it appears to Ayahmah. Over time, the blue of the sky mixes with the white of the clouds. But it does not become lighter, but darker and darker until it is night blue. Ayahmah continues to concentrate and sees dots that begin to sparkle more and more.

"Ah, stars," Ayahmah says, "those are stars."

"Yes, Ayahmah, and now look into the far distance. Don't let up!" Jesus urges her again. Ayahmah keeps peering and recognizes something like a moon and other planets.

"Jesus, is this the moon? It looks like a sickle."

"Discover more!" Jesus encourages her. Ayahmah notices a large, yellow glowing orb.

"Is that the sun?" asks Ayahmah, astonished.

"Go on," Jesus repeats, and Ayahmah sees a ship whose color is changing. Initially blue, the color changes to an ochre tone; nevertheless, everything is intertwined.

"Is that Noah's Ark?" asks Ayahmah. Jesus smiles at her.

"You were in geography class, weren't you?"

"Yes, I was," Ayahmah replies, puzzled.

"Why do you think that is Noah's Ark?"

"Well, because it's the only boat I know!"

"You're going to meet another boat. Look further, Ayahmah," Jesus asks her again. Behind the ship, Ayahmah sees how a lake is forming, which is getting bigger and bigger and grows into a sea. Large waves are surging.

"Look Jesus, there are really big waves there!" Ayahmah becomes aware of different animals; she sees dolphins, whales, octopuses, many colorful fish, seahorses, seals, walruses, crabs, and much more.

"That's the sea!" exclaims Ayahmah enthusiastically. "Are we sitting at the bottom of the sea? But then we wouldn't see the sky." Ayahmah looks down and notices her feet dangling in the air. "Where are we now? Where have you taken us, Jesus?"

"We're sitting on a cloud at the moment," Jesus replies. "Come with me, Ayahmah, I want to show you something else!" Jesus stands up and beckons to her.

"I can't walk on clouds or walk in the sky," Ayahmah doubts for a moment.

"Ayahmah – there's no 'can't' with me!" Jesus answers firmly. "Now come on!" Jesus beckons to her again, offering her his hand as an inviting gesture to follow him. Ayahmah gets up, but immediately falls down again:

"But it's really wobbly, walking in the air here. Why aren't you floating?"

"I'm walking," Jesus replies, "and you walk, too." Ayahmah gets up and tries to run after Jesus.

"Jesus wait, don't walk so fast," Ayahmah calls after him, but Jesus just carries on and doesn't turn around. Ayahmah feels like she is in a waterfall that she must climb to the top of. Underneath her, the ground slides away and she finds no hold. Due to a countercurrent of the waves that pull her down, she is rocked back and forth again and again. She does not want to lose Jesus and calls after him again:

"Jesus, wait, I'm coming, I'm coming!"

"Just walk!" Ayahmah hears Jesus say. She concentrates and tries her best to walk; she doesn't care what it looks like or whether she really moves forward, she just wants to follow Jesus – and suddenly she's close to his side.

"Huh? I thought I hadn't made any progress and yet I'm by your side?" Ayahmah states in amazement – and at the same moment falls back again. This can't be true, she thinks angrily, then gathers all her courage and strength and jumps and runs to Jesus. Ayahmah notices that she now walks without doubt, without asking herself why, and without 'I can't.' Ayahmah walks beside Jesus, the only way she can talk to him. Jesus does not wait, he goes on and whoever wants to follow him, whoever wants to go with him, must stay at his side; Ayahmah has now understood this. "Here I am! I'm here!" she says, joyful and a little out of breath, while still trying to sound calm.

"See, Ayahmah? Never doubt your abilities, for this is a door that you otherwise close to me, to all your loved ones as well, as well as to all the powers and wonders that God wants to reveal to you, in you, with you, by you, reflecting his being within you. Believe in yourself, again and again – and always focus on the end of the plan. I've told you that before, you remember?"

"Yes, I know," Ayahmah replies, "of course I remember that. I already do that. Jesus, where are you going?"

"Follow me!" urges Jesus.

"Grrrmmm," Ayahmah grumbles to herself. Jesus could be a little more cooperative. Jesus turns to her:

"There's no 'could,'" he replies. "It is. It's exactly what it is. You hear? You shouldn't tell any other being, no matter what kind of being, what to do. Because everyone is a being of its own!"

"How does that work then? At school they tell us that we have to do this and that. Archangel Michael also showed me how to deal with my sword Santa Mare, and I used it accordingly." Ayahmah remembers how she received her sword Santa Mare from God. For a long time, she doubted whether she always wanted to carry around such a large object and thus start a new way of life. She first had to learn how to use the sword from Archangel Michael, for example how to move the sword around herself to detach everything that does not belong to her. When she was ready, she wanted to make the sword her own and baptize it. The baptism became a long, dangerous adventure for her. Finally, in a mysterious cavern full of living beings, she dipped her sword into the water. The water bubbled up. Filled with radiant light, the sword began to speak and introduced itself as Santa Mare. The sword changed color, then light beamed out of it in all directions. Water shimmered in the brightest colors, the birds were singing and there was wonderful music. Ayahmah's wings became larger. She heard the sounds of angels, choirs of angels singing about Santa Mare. From then on, she was united with her sword.

"That's something completely different," says Jesus, bringing her out of her thoughts. "If someone shows you something, wants to teach you something, it's for your own good. But how someone speaks or moves, you should leave that up to them, Ayahmah-Seraphina."

"And what about Gabriel?" asks Ayahmah.

"What does this have to do with Gabriel?"

"Well, because he disappeared all of a sudden. Should we leave it at that, that he just disappeared?"

"Ayahmah," Jesus looks at her insistently, "you know exactly what I mean!"

"Yes, I know! I just mean… How do I know then whether it was his own will, or whether it was determined by others?"

"Archangels never leave once and for all. They're always in touch with other angelic beings. If an angel calls another for help, someone will always be there for him. Always! That's why the angels rarely call certain angels, but always those who are there for them at that moment, because exactly those who are open to the call at that moment are exactly those who're important and helpful at the moment, and exactly those who're needed at the moment. You've been to many different places, remember!"

"That's right," Ayahmah replies, becoming sad and thoughtful.

"What is it then, Ayahmah?" asks Jesus, looking at her with love.

"I'm longing for my friends – and you know, what really hurts me is that Frederico was sad because of me, and that I was sad because of him at first. I told him he could return to Rosalie, the horse that came to heaven and he fell in love with, but I didn't think he'd really leave me. That's why I was sad, that's why my consciousness was open to Marengomare's whisperings – and I was torn. How does that work? Can I hold someone back because I want to? Even if he doesn't want me to?"

"Well, Ayahmah, that's the course of life, that two different beings are connected and yet different."

"That's true," affirms Ayahmah. "So if I'm never allowed to tell someone what to do, then I'm not allowed to ask them for anything either!"

"Ayahmah, no! It's even your duty to ask the other person for something. Look at it like raindrops dancing side by side and then falling into the sea. In the sea they are one. In the sea they are connected, merged into one, huge and magnificent – and when the course of life begins a new cycle, they are pulled up to fall again as individual raindrops on the sea or on the earth. When they fall to earth, they become one with the ground. There, the element of water works together with the element of earth – and yet the drop of water becomes one with the earth, because it touches and connects with every smallest part of the earth."

"Doesn't it dissolve, that drop of water, when it connects?" asks Ayahmah.

"No, it doesn't dissolve, it unites. It flows into a blade of grass; the blade of grass gets moisture, and the moisture is pulled up by the sun. So, this moisture returns upward and one day falls down again as raindrops," Jesus explains.

"Was I also a raindrop when I went to Earth? I've been to Earth, in the rainforest. Do you remember? Sourie, or Rashida…" Ayahmah brings up more memories. Sourie was an almost mute boy who lived with the natives in the rainforest, and whom Ayahmah had provided three heavenly butterfly beings as guardian angels. Rashida, on the other hand, was a disabled girl who lived near the desert, the daughter of a sheikh. Ayahmah healed her and put the foal Little Heart under her protection. His mother mare Rosalie had died shortly before and her soul had jumped through Ayahmah's halo into the kingdom of heaven.

"You were working in the service of your mission. You protected people, animals, and trees," Jesus praises her.

"And what about the mountain?" asks Ayahmah, remembering her adventure on Earth, on a mountain, when she met a man, whom she saved from an angry mountain spirit.

"You saved a man and you protected the mountain spirits," Jesus replies.

"What about Yellie?" Ayahmah asks, alluding to one of her journeys to Earth, when she saved an ant colony from death by fire and led it to another territory, where she met the ant creature Yellie, which she herself gave that name because of the yellow eyes. Finally, she took Yellie to the kingdom of heaven because she was ignored by her own people, the ants.

"Then you brought us a new species into the kingdom of heaven, which God naturalized with their heavenly relatives."

"Where is Gabriel?" asks Ayahmah abruptly. Jesus gently touches her shoulder:

"Where is he? He gave you a gift he called a tool. Do you remember?"

"Of course I remember," Ayahmah replies, her eyes shining. "I baptized it, I gave it a name. I called it Crystal Ball Watch."

"Now tell me, Ayahmah, Crystal Ball Watch, is that a name?" asks Jesus. "Santa Mare is a name, Akamaniyu, Fred, Ayahmah are names; there are many names – but Crystal Ball Watch? Isn't this just a description of the external appearance of the tool? Have you got in touch with it? Have you established a deep relationship with it?" Jesus asks. "Feel in your heart!" Ayahmah is at a loss for words.

"I was proud to have come up with this name," she replies, a little piqued.

"You were!" says Jesus, "and pride is the opposite of humility. Humility is being brave and daring to try something new. This also includes the courage to build a connection, a relationship. When you call your sword, Santa Mare answers. You feel him. He responds by taking on different colors, or he changes his form into a tree or a wall to protect you, or he gives you a feeling; he even wrote for you when you were trapped in the yellow mass on the unicorns' planet."

"That's right!" says Ayahmah thoughtfully.

"Do you remember?" Jesus continues, "how determinedly you went to baptize Santa Mare? Wasn't it your sword himself that gave you his name?"

"Yes, he did."

"Now, if Gabriel gave you this gift and told it to reveal its name to you, why do you give it a name that you've thought of yourself? That means it can't reveal its real name to you."

"Oh! That's the way it is!" Ayahmah understands now.

"Yes, exactly!" Jesus confirms.

"But I don't have it with me, because I followed you and couldn't take anything with me. I don't have anything with me!" Looking down at herself, Ayahmah suddenly notices that she is wearing armor, carrying her sword in a scabbard, her halo hovering above her head, and even carrying on her back her backpack in which Akamaniyu and Fred are happily hopping around. In her other hand she is holding Gabriel's tool.

"Jesus, look! That's awesome!" Ayahmah exclaims enthusiastically. "Jesus? Jesus!" Jesus is gone. Ayahmah stands in the middle of the cloudless sky and looks at the crystal ball in her hand, the Crystal Ball Watch she got from Gabriel. "So, Crystal Ball Watch is probably not the right name after all," whispers Ayahmah and fiddles with her sword Santa Mare in her belt. The armor she now wears is new and no longer pink, but red, with a very long, white gold train. I also feel completely different, Ayahmah says to herself. I feel light and tall and yet… oh, I'm not worried about how I feel now, she interrupts herself. Instead, Ayahmah now takes the crystal ball in both hands and looks at it, this round, pocket-watch-like ball. She tries not to think anything of it. Ayahmah allows all thoughts that germinate to flow through herself and slide into the emptiness of the universe. Ayahmah breathes in and out regularly and calmly. She constantly watches as water gushes out of this sphere, which she called Crystal Ball Watch, and how the ball transforms into a round pebble that becomes the origin of a river in her mind's eye. She sees how the river repeatedly beats a wave on a stone and how several waves form from one wave keeping hitting the stone. To Ayahmah, it looks as if the waves are continuously hitting the stone, and yet the water in the river continues to flow until it finally disappears out of Ayahmah's sight. A new image is forming; she sees how hills form from individual stones, where drops of water shoot upward. First one, then two, then several like in a formation. She perceives not only the sound of the water, but more and more different sounds, beautiful sounds that resemble a flute, a violin, and a guitar. Ayahmah hears frogs and smells the water. She feels her hands getting wet – the ball in her hands has actually turned to water. Ayahmah now holds in her hands a ball of water, a ball of water becoming a river flowing over a stone, whose strong current foams up the water, making it appear white and repeatedly splashing drops upward.

"Can you tell me your name? What's your name?" asks Ayahmah. "Tell me your name, and I'll take your name, will call you that. You're a part of Gabriel, and he wanted me to find you, become one with you, and thereby learn the secret, accomplish the task, and thus also find Gabriel." Ayahmah closes her eyes and sees in her mind's eye how the water of that ball changes color from white to pink, how it flows more slowly, how it turns orange and then becomes clear. She opens her eyes and tries to perceive the image in her heart, to absorb it into her heart, to let it enter her heart. I'm not afraid. I open my heart now. I open my heart and let this wave of divine water coming from Gabriel… She lets the image settle in her heart, lets it become one with her heart. She feels how this ball which she holds in her hands, holds her in contemplation, becomes bigger and bigger and one with her, as it takes up residence in her heart, and how Ayahmah's heart beats more and more in harmony with the current of the water coming from the ball. Ayahmah perceives so much at this moment that she can no longer feel her breath. Her heart beats evenly. The angelic water in her veins flows upward, downward, and through them. Her head resembles a stone, resembles the ball, resembles Gabriel's tool, which bubbles out of itself more and more and distributes more and more light and love. The water of the ball is illuminated by rays of the sun that reflect into Ayahmah's heart; the waves become shallow and calm, there is no stone left. Ayahmah lies down on the calm, sunlit water and lets herself drift. She is the water at this moment. She is the water, she is the source, the current – she just goes with the flow. "Well, then take me to Gabriel and tell me your name!" Ayahmah closes her eyes again and concentrates. She follows the river, follows her heart, and perceives the gentle current that resembles a pleasant voice.

"Ambienciera."

"Ambienciera! That's your name! Ambienciera!" The moment Ayahmah has pronounced the name and absorbed it in her heart, the ball jumps out of her heart, inflates in front of her, becomes huge, lets out a drawn-out squeak, becomes tiny, and finally fizzles out completely before her eyes. Does that mean I've taken Ambienciera into my heart, Ayahmah wonders. That's it? Is there anything I can do about it? Should I be able to unite the different forces? Why am I so sad, why do I feel so empty? What's going on with me? Something's wrong with me! I should be happy that I now know the name. But I'm not happy at all. My heart feels sad. Where's my power gone? Ayahmah sits down, closes her eyes exhaustedly, and falls into a deep, restless sleep. She is thrown back and forth, thrown up and smashed down, pushed forward, and pushed backward. She is whirled around wildly on her feet so that she can feel the resistance of the air. She feels water, but she cannot feel her heart. What's going on, Ayahmah wonders, where is my energy? My energy is gone. I can't find my energy anymore. How do I get my energy back?

"Ayahmah, come to your senses," she senses, "Ayahmah become great! Ayahmah, focus on yourself and on your path! Start regaining your strength! Realize that you've been reborn, right now. A new birth! You were reborn to do great deeds. Don't despair! Take this power that's now within you that has settled close to your own power and unite it with your own. Unite this free power, the double power, the power of love in your heart with Ambienciera, which strengthens your heart even more. Bring out the power of love; let it come to the fore. Unite your power and the prudence of your sword Santa Mare, connect them in your heart with Ambienciera, and combine these powers with the one of your halo's. Your halo is the connection to divine being, to God the Father, to Jesus, to all angels, to all being. You have to become more and more aware of this power that you carry within you. This is very important and of great necessity. Add to these powers the power of your friends and the power of friendship. This is the greatest thing that you can apply in other spheres, on other planets and on Earth, everywhere. It's what makes you who you are. Note this and rejoice in it, live it. This is immeasurably important."

"Yes, I will. I mustn't despair, no, I mustn't." Ayahmah shakes herself and looks at herself. The robe, her red armor, looks really interesting, she now realizes. Now I look like Archangel Michael, except that I'm not blue, but red. "Then it makes sense," Ayahmah murmurs, grabbing her sword, holding it up, and shouting, "Here I am! I come and I follow Jesus, who called me – and I am looking for you, Gabriel! I'm looking for you!" At the same moment, she is pushed into a tunnel. She falls through the opening of the tunnel and rotates again and again around herself. She slides deeper and deeper, and suddenly it seems to her as if she has landed on her head, and that her halo has drilled deep into the ground. In front of her, she holds the sword firmly in her hands. "Where am I?" asks Ayahmah.

"Hey!" Akamaniyu complains indignantly. "You made me lose my spot! I was so comfortable."

"I don't know where we are," Ayahmah replies, "I can't open my eyes. I can't see anything, I can't hear anything, I just feel you. Can you see something? Do you hear anything? Akamaniyu? Fred?" Akamaniyu crawls out of the backpack:

"I see, I hear, I smell, and I feel – What's the matter with you Ayahmah?"

"No good!" replies Ayahmah. "I feel nothing, I see nothing, I only feel you. I don't know where I am. Fred?"

"Ayahmah?"

"Do you feel anything? Do you see anything?"

"Yes – I see."

"Can you describe to me what it looks like here?" asks Ayahmah.

"It feels like rock, and everything around us is dark!" replies Fred.

"And where is my head? Is my head stuck somewhere or in something? I don't see anything!"

"Ayahmah, you're lying on the ground!" says Akamaniyu.

"I'm lying? I fell through somewhere head first."

"You kept spinning during the fall. We helped you. Akamaniyu turned you in the right direction in time."

"I didn't even notice that. Thank you, Akamaniyu."

"You're welcome, Ayahmah!" grins Akamaniyu.

"But I still don't know where I am, and I don't know what this is. I know nothing. It's like a kind of emptiness. My heart is empty. Why is that? Ambienciera? Ambienciera! I must see with my heart! Where I am now, I can only see with my heart. – Akamaniyu?" asks Ayahmah, but he remains silent. "Fred?" Fred doesn't answer either. "Santa Mare?" Ayahmah asks her sword. But Santa Mare doesn't give an answer either. "Where am I? – Help!"

Contents

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Gabriel's Watch

The Ship of Decay

The Tree of Knowledge

Aimless on Gostloss

Dagobestorian's Fall into Space

Of Repentant Apostates

Ayahmah on the Black Sea

Separate Ways

Split

The Fight with the Ivy Octopuses

Reunited, but Not Yet Healed

Unchewed and Undigested

Cherups' Bowl

Shield in Shards

The Flight of the Glittering Stars

The Great Healing

Glossary: Figures in Ayahmah's World

Angel Ayahmah

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Gabriel's Watch

Glossary: Figures in Ayahmah's World

Angel Ayahmah

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The Ship of Decay

"Where is Ayahmah?" asks Akamaniyu, startled.

"Ayahmah is gone!" says Fred, horrified.

"Ayahmah? Ayahmah!" cries Akamaniyu desperately, but Ayahmah doesn't hear him. Fred also calls for her:

"Ayahmah! Ayahmah!"; he also gets no answer. Fred and Akamaniyu look at each other in amazement.

"Did you notice? She was suddenly gone, gone! She's gone! Where is she? Where are we?" Akamaniyu tries to find out. They look around.

"We're still here in this rocky place, surrounded by darkness, but look, up there, there's something glowing!" remarks Fred.

"Oh yes, there's something glowing," Akamaniyu realizes. "What color is that?" Fred looks at him in surprise.

"Don't you know all the colors?"

"Yes, of course, but I don't know that color!" replies Akamaniyu.

"That's crystal-colored," Fred replies, blinking his eyes and then confirming, "Yes, indeed, it's crystal-colored."

"Crystal-colored?" asks Akamaniyu. "What's that?"

"It's white, transparent, shiny, luminous, flashing."

"Then say white right away!" says Akamaniyu to Fred.

"Don't bitch, Akamaniyu!"

"I'm not bitching, Fred. Come on, we have to look for Ayahmah. She said that we mustn't quarrel. We must stick together and search for her. Now we know how she feels. She was looking for Gabriel all the time and we just went along with her. But we didn't actively help her."

"Yes, we did! Don't belittle yourself!" Fred urges Akamaniyu. Ayahmah thanked you several times. You've supported her on every adventure – and so have I!"

"You're right," affirms Akamaniyu, "and I shouldn't doubt myself. I have to believe in myself too, because that's what we learned from Jesus. We mustn't doubt, because when we doubt, we deprive ourselves of our strength, and that's not God's will."

"Oh, but you paid very close attention. You're paying more attention than you're aware of," Fred says in amazement.

"Oh, if you only knew everything that I know," Akamaniyu replies, a little grandly. Fred relents, because he likes Akamaniyu; he has grown very fond of him, even of his sometimes somewhat pompous nature, or even when he inflates quite wide and becomes even more balloon-shaped than he already is. Akamaniyu is pleased that Fred is his companion, too, because he knows that if he were alone now, he would be very sad because he has been alone long enough. In his search for respect, for attention, just before his time with Ayahmah, he was always alone. No one had seen him, but Ayahmah did. She was the only one. Now there are two, so there are now three, because one is always one more – Akamaniyu thinks in his own logic, and that's finally true, because there are now three of them, three good friends, he is happy. Fred smiles at Akamaniyu and gives him a gentle pat on the shoulder. Akamaniyu turns red.

"Nice that you're here and nice that we get along well. Ayahmah commanded it to us. We must look for her! She must be here! She was just here. Do you think Ambienciera has something to do with her being gone?" asks Fred.

"No, I don't think so," Akamaniyu replies. "She must be here on this planet that we're on. We're on the same planet, aren't we? Or are we on a stone bowl? This place has a strange shape, and the only light is this crystal-colored one that shimmers down to us and casts long shadows down here. It seems to me that we're in a kind of nutshell made of stone. If that was right, it'd be slightly curved, and we'd not be able to see over its edge."

"Akamaniyu, you can crawl nimbly. Why don't you go ahead and try to climb up the wall," Fred suggests. Akamaniyu tries bravely, but slips again and again. He doesn't succeed in climbing up the wall of this stone bowl.

"Maybe it'll work if I stand close to the wall and you stand on me, on my shell, Fred? You can make yourself bigger that way," Akamaniyu suggests.

"I make myself bigger?" asks Fred, surprised.

"Yes, I saw it!" affirms Akamaniyu.

"Me?" asks Fred in surprise.

"Yes, you made your hat big."

"Me?"

"Yes, you did! Give it a try," Akamaniyu begs.

"Well, if that's what you saw, I'll try." Fred stands on Akamaniyu's back and makes an honest effort. He squints his eyes tightly and stretches his body upward. He stretches his arms upward, but nothing happens.

"You see, it works, it works!" exclaims Akamaniyu enthusiastically. Fred looks around.

"It works? But I'm not any taller!"

"Yes, you are, go on," Akamaniyu cheers him on. Fred continues to push and stretch his arms upward and actually feels himself that he has grown a little taller. Not much, but a little bit.

"See, do you feel? You're taller, you're taller," Akamaniyu encourages him. "Just look up. Look!" Through his effort, Fred's arms have really become longer, allowing him to grab and hold on to the edge of the nut-like shell they are in.

"Pull yourself up, Fred! Do a pull-up, as people would call it."

"Take a leap, Akamaniyu, and give me momentum. Jump! You always jumped around in Ayahmah's backpack and when I wanted to get to your spot, you jumped there quickly. So, jump! You jump like a world champion." Akamaniyu tries to jump and indeed he manages a small air jump, the first time outside Ayahmah's backpack and on another planet. He thus gives Fred a slight lift, so that he manages to look briefly over the bowl.

"Hhhhhh!" Fred breathes, "we're in a hollow! Hop again, Akamaniyu!" Akamaniyu follows and hops; Fred flies up a bit:

"Yeah! It's beautiful out there! Again, again!" Akamaniyu is now really picking up speed; Fred jumps so high that he jumps out of the stone nutshell onto its edge and can now look down at Akamaniyu from there.

"I'm free!" cries Fred, "I'm up here!"

"Yes, then get me out, too!" Akamaniyu demands. " We must look for Ayahmah! What's it like out there? Are we safe there? Or is danger lurking there?"

"It looks peaceful, but it's all covered with stones. It's quite bright and it smells very good. The scent is reminiscent of peanuts, and a gentle wind's blowing. Do you see my hair blowing gently to the side?"

"Duck! Fred! Quick!" cries Akamaniyu, horrified. "Under cover! I see a shadow behind you." Quick-witted Fred lies down on his stomach on the edge of the shell. The shadow passes Fred by. Fred holds his breath.

"Thank you!" he whispers to Akamaniyu. "Strange, the wind's gone now and so is the peanut scent. It was so delicious!"

"Help me out," Akamaniyu repeats frantically.

"Stay there and don't move! I'll get back to you in a minute!" suggests Fred instead.

"OK, just be careful," Akamaniyu shouts after him. Fred hops down from the edge of the nutshell to the outside and crawls along the ground to avoid being seen. Fred is surrounded by stones, which makes it difficult for him to move. I must be careful, he thinks to himself and again sees the shadow that Akamaniyu had warned him about. He notices that he only sees it when he moves flat on the ground. When he gets up, he no longer sees it, because then the shadow seems to be deeper than he is. It's good when I'm lying down, Fred decides. He takes an elongated stone and crawls back with it to the bowl where Akamaniyu is waiting. He now realizes that it really looks like a peanut shell. Ah, that's where the smell came from, he realizes now. We ended up in a huge peanut shell. Strange!

"Akamaniyu, are you there?"

"Yes, I'm waiting for you!" Akamaniyu whispers from inside the bowl. Fred warns Akamaniyu and throws the elongated stone into the nut shell.

"Climb up the stone on the edge of the shell," Fred tells him.

"I'm climbing up it, but you, don't move! The shadow's back!" Accompanied by a gentle breeze of the wind, the shadow glides over both of them. Akamaniyu has transformed and is now very flat, but longer, making it easier to get up the stone.

"Akamaniyu, you're able to transform?" asks Fred in amazement when he sees him on the edge of the peanut shell.

"Yes," confirms Akamaniyu, "as far as my shape allows and as long as I still remain in my basic form, I can transform."

"How do you stay in your basic form? What does that mean?"

"For example, it's not possible for me to become square."

"That's a good explanation!" praises Fred, "but why didn't you climb up right away? You could've easily got up and even taken me with you?"

"First I need to think of it, and besides, I have to make some effort for it and thus can't take my usual nap," explains Akamaniyu. Fred takes a deep breath, then looks up and decides for himself: I concentrate on the crystal-colored light. Whenever something like this happens, I'll just focus on it and distract myself with it. I won't get angry. No, Ayahmah wouldn't have wanted that – and he's still a nice guy, even if he keeps pinching.

"So, here I am!" groans Akamaniyu. He was able to lean the elongated stone against the inner wall of the peanut shell and thus get a little higher. Thanks to his now elongated shape, he could use his claws to grasp on to the edge and pull himself up, then one leg and finally the whole body.

"Very good." Fred says happily. "What do we do now? It's hard for me to crawl on this rocky planet. The ground is too hard. I hurt myself, but you're almost at home here. Look, you can crawl wonderfully with your crab legs here and nobody sees you. May I lie down on you? Now you're long. You could carry me, then I'm not high, because I'm lying down, and yet I'm still able to move," Fred explains his idea. Akamaniyu looks at him puzzled, turns red briefly, and then returns to his usual blue color.

"All right," Akamaniyu relents, "but don't move and don't knock dust and stones off your body so you don't scratch my shell!"

"Now I know why you get along so well with Hobart," Fred grins.

"Do you know Hobart well?"

"No, I know him only by the stories they tell about him."

"Oh!"

"Thank you!" Fred says to Akamaniyu, because he knows that, despite all this, he is filled with love, and always acts altruistically. They also have to get used to each other even more, he thinks, so that they can rely on each other, and to do so they have to remain friends. They both know this is important because they overheard the conversation between Jesus and Ayahmah.

"This is the only way we can find Ayahmah," Fred continues his train of thought aloud.

"That's right. We must find Ayahmah. I've found her before and I'll find her again. I just follow the trail. She can't be far!" Again, the shadow passes over them with a breeze. "Make yourself flat, and we can't talk so much!" warns Akamaniyu.

"We don't talk loudly. It's our thoughts with which we communicate!" replies Fred.

"Oh, is it possible for me to speak using my mind now?" asks Akamaniyu, astonished.

"Yes, you learned that from me."

"I hadn't even noticed that!"

"See, Akamaniyu? This is learning! Learning is becoming one with the result. That's the realization."

"Ah yes," Akamaniyu answers curtly. "That's too high for my tastes." Fred crawls onto Akamaniyu's back and lies flat on his shell.

"Ouch, you're pinching!" complains Akamaniyu.

"Excuse me!" Fred spreads his fingers wider and tries to hold on without pinching Akamaniyu.

"Put your head down," Akamaniyu tells him. "Listen Fred, together we have to be very flat. I'm also flattening, and that makes me a little longer." At the same moment, Akamaniyu makes himself flatter and longer, making it very comfortable for Fred. Silently and almost invisibly, they glide over the planet. Step by step, they are moving forward. Again and again, the shadow appears and unexpectedly passes just over Fred's head. Fred feels the breeze and perceives the gentle sound of the wind.

"What is that?" he wonders.

"Don't know," Akamaniyu replies, "but we've got to keep searching for Ayahmah."

"Do you feel her yet?"

"Not yet." Akamaniyu stops and pinches his claws into the ground: "She wasn't here. Her energy's not here." He takes three steps to the left: "Not here either." He takes three steps backward: "Not here either!" He takes a few steps to the right: "No, she wasn't here either." He continues to run forward, further in their previous direction, and suddenly he announces: "I feel something! Let's go there."

"But that means approaching the shadow!" says Fred.

"We'll have to go there, to Ayahmah," says Akamaniyu undeterred, "I feel her, her heart. She depends on us. She can't survive here, can't breathe, nothing at all. We're no longer in God's kingdom. Here she is a shadow of herself."

"Is that Ayahmah, the shadow that sweeps over us?"

"No, no! That is the master of this planet."

"How do you know all this?" asks Fred, surprised.

"From the little ground probes I did with my claws." Fred is impressed.

"Well, I'm not moving. It must have its meaning that he does not perceive you. It must be meaningful that he's still floating around us, the master of this planet, whoever it is."

"Don't think too much about him," Akamaniyu says. "Focus on Ayahmah. Imagine her – and where she is, we must get there. You should disregard everything else, just concentrate on our aim. This is the only way we can succeed in finding her." Akamaniyu continues: "I feel Ayahmah, her breathing is becoming softer and shallower. She hardly breathes, she can't survive here. She needs our friendship. Only our love can keep her alive! Fred, think of her intensely! Think of all the good things Ayahmah has done. Remember how she saved you. Follow your thoughts! Let your heart get in flow more and more. Let love get in flow!"

Ayahmah is desperate. I don't feel anything, Ayahmah notes dejectedly, it's dark here. I don't hear anything, feel anything, see anything. I don't sense Akamaniyu or Fred. I'm so tired and I'm cold. Suddenly, she feels a strong wind whipping over her again and again. What's that? Ouch! But this strange feeling of whipping wind in her ear, combined with the sound and her strange state, this energy reminds her to keep breathing. The wind is so strong that it literally shakes Ayahmah. Am I being carried?, Ayahmah wonders. Again, she feels this strong wind, but this time it feels to her like a black towel made of tar which claps heavily on her ear again and again. Ayahmah's ear turns red. She senses that she feels pain that is getting stronger and stronger.

"IT'S ABOUT TIME THAT YOU OPEN YOUR EYES!" hisses a deep, menacing voice. Ayahmah concentrates, she tries to open her eyes, but she can't. "OPEN YOUR EYES!" the threatening voice orders again. Luckily, I have the armor on, Ayahmah remembers, and at least I feel something again. I become aware of something again, because otherwise I wouldn't be happy to be wearing the armor. I now know why I'm wearing the armor. "WHY DID YOU DISGUISE YOURSELF?" asks the unpleasant voice, hissing and scratchy. Ayahmah cannot speak, cannot open her eyes. She can only slowly begin to feel more again. Ayahmah doesn't realize that Akamaniyu and Fred are approaching her at the same moment.

"Do you see that, Fred?"

"Oh dear!" Fred exclaims in horror, "Mycotopha!" The shadow we've been seeing is the shadow of her tail tossing back and forth!" Mycotopha is delighted. Ayahmah is all alone, because her backpack is empty:

"HERE YOU ARE, WITHOUT YOUR FRIENDS! HERE YOU'VE GOT NO AIR TO BREATHE. HERE YOU FEEL NO WARMTH OF HEART – YOU'RE LOST! I'VE GOT YOU! YOUR RED ROBE THAT YOU WEAR, THIS ARMOR DOESN'T IMPRESS ME AT ALL. WE'LL WAIT, BECAUSE MARENGOMARE WILL COME, AND THEN YOUR LAST HOUR WILL HAVE STRUCK." Ayahmah hears more and more sounds, because the love of her friends comes to her more and more. She feels her heart begin to beat harder and how she can breathe. In her mind she speaks to Fred and Akamaniyu:

"You're here! Thank you! Can you hear me, do you sense me?"

"Yes, we perceive your thoughts," they both reply.

"Akamaniyu, you know the language of thought! Did Fred teach you that? – Thank you, Fred! What're we doing, how can we sneak out of here? I can't move, it's very difficult for me."

"It's not possible for you to move," Fred replies.

"Why?" asks Ayahmah.

"You're trapped!"

"Trapped?"

"You're surrounded by the shadow," Fred explains. "The shadow is like a wall. The wall resembles a layer of tar, which is thin but still firm, like a towel blocking all the light. Nothing can get through it. Let your love shine more and more, Ayahmah," Fred urges her. Let love flow through you, stronger and more. That way you can heat the tar, it becomes liquid and we can get through it. Akamaniyu has just the right shape to get through. The monster can't see him because he's got his shell."

"Don't put yourselves in danger," Ayahmah begs. Mycotopha looks at her. Ayahmah feels the heavy, warm breath on her face blowing her hair back, followed by a foul smell. The smell is terrible, but I'm starting to feel more and more, Ayahmah realizes. She tries to open a small gap in her eyes so that the monster cannot see it. Behind the monster in the distance, she recognizes a green glow.

"NOW HE'S COMING! MARENGOMARE'S COMING AND THEN YOU ARE LOST. HE HAS GATHERED A LARGE ARMY AROUND HIM. VERY MANY FOLLOW HIM." Ayahmah concentrates: What did Jesus say? Jesus said that with the help of my friends, I could survive anywhere, on any planet. "HERE, ON MY PLANET, YOU'VE GOT NO POWER, FOR THE LIGHT OF LOVE IS FAR AWAY HERE. IT DOESN'T EXIST HERE! THE DARKNESS OF TAR REIGNS HERE. YOU'RE ON THE TAR PLANET." Tar Planet – Ayahmah thinks. Didn't Jesus once say that grass even grows under concrete, tar, and asphalt? Couldn't I do it like grass, like the dandelion – could I grow?

"Don't think so much! Your thoughts are getting too loud," realizes Ayahmah. "Marengomare will come! Altogether they are so full of wickedness, the tar is nothing compared to that. The tar would only spread further in their presence. We must hurry!" Ayahmah tries to call Archangel Michael. Michael is looking for Mycotopha… No, she slows down her thoughts, he's looking for deserted heavenly hosts that once belonged to him. As soon as a follower of Marengomare still doubts and hasn't yet fully passed into the realm of malice, Michael can still establish a connection with him. Then he can come here and intervene. What did Jesus once say? It would always be the right angel who appeared.

"Look at the light," she hears Fred say. He discovered it. The crystal-colored light – Ayahmah looks for it with her eyes. Suddenly, she realizes:

"This is Gabriel! – Gabriel!" she cries from the depths of her heart. Mycotopha suddenly turns her head to Ayahmah and embraces her with her claws. She lifts her up and squeezes her, but she has not considered that Ayahmah is wearing the armor, the armor she had previously disregarded. Ayahmah's armor begins to shine, to glow, and becomes one with her robe.

"AARRH!" Mycotopha hisses angrily and opens her claws with pain in her face. Ayahmah falls. Fred can't believe his eyes; Akamaniyu sprints off. Fred holds on as best he can and is amazed, because he didn't know that Akamaniyu could be so fast.

"Hold on tight and then jump!" Akamaniyu tells Fred. Ayahmah falls backward onto her backpack, which gently catches her and envelops her. Akamaniyu jumps with Fred on his back. Fred drops next to Ayahmah; Akamaniyu changes his shape. He becomes wider, even flatter, finally covering Ayahmah and Fred like a protective layer, taking on the color of the environment like a chameleon, so that Mycotopha can no longer see any of them.

"WHERE IS SHE? WHERE ARE YOU?" hisses Mycotopha and lets her gaze wander, her tail whipping around excitedly. "WHERE ARE YOU? WHERE?" hisses Mycotopha looking around. At the same moment, the green light approaches: Marengomare comes rushing in.

"Mycotopha, you called me? I heard you've got her! Where is she?"

"SHE'S HERE! SHE WAS THERE! SHE CAN'T HAVE DISAPPEARED!"

"Where are the others? She's here with her companions!" says Marengomare in a decisive tone. Ayahmah no longer had his bad smell in mind, but now she smells it very intensely, because she still has her eyes closed. She doesn't dare to think anything. All three of them – Fred, Akamaniyu, and Ayahmah – are completely quiet, barely moving, and breathing as shallowly as they can. Ayahmah first hears a hiss, then a flicker, and hears Mycotopha speak:

"HER TWO COMPANIONS ARE TRAPPED. THEY CAN'T GET OUT! THEY'RE TRAPPED IN THE NUTSHELL. WE'LL KILL THEM. WE'LL DESTROY THEM!" Marengomare hurries forward; Mycotopha follows him to the nutshell.

"Let's hurry," Akamaniyu tells Ayahmah and Fred as he returns to his original crustacean form so that Ayahmah can take her two companions back in her backpack.

"Thank you Akamaniyu! How do we get out of here as quickly as possible? What do we do?" asks Ayahmah frantically.

"Remember what Jesus taught you" Akamaniyu says.

"What did he teach me?" wonders Ayahmah.

"He taught you that you can walk in space. You can't float here!" Ayahmah straightens up.

"Fred, focus on the light you perceived, that crystal-colored light," requests Akamaniyu.

"That must've been Gabriel! Gabriel's illuminating our path!" affirms Ayahmah.

"Yes, concentrate on Gabriel!" Ayahmah becomes very tall. She tries to walk. It is very difficult for her at first, but with all the strength she puts together, she succeeds. She climbs as if she were following a staircase: step by step, step by step.

"Faster, faster," Fred urges her excitedly, "they'll be right back!"

"No!" Ayahmah replies briskly, "don't focus on going back there, on the trap we were caught in. Focus on the light, on the crystal-colored light! Because this is Gabriel. We must find him!" Ayahmah continues to climb the steps of this invisible staircase. Akamaniyu jumps out of the backpack and with his claws pinches off the steps Ayahmah has climbed up after each step. In addition, he wildly whirls the steps around after the last cut, so that they fly away in all directions; every trace of them is blurred, so they cannot be found by Mycotopha and Marengomare.

"Gabriel! Gabriel!" Ayahmah shouts again and again, continuing to climb up. She doesn't notice how she speeds up because she is concentrating intensely on Gabriel. Meanwhile, Mycotopha and Marengomare got back from searching for them, shouting furiously. Breathing fire, Mycotopha hisses:

"WHERE ARE YOU? – SHE ESCAPED!"

"That can't be true!" rumbles Marengomare, summoning his hosts and commanding them: "Look for them! Swarm out in all directions and find them! Catch them! Bring them here to me, dead or alive, it doesn't matter, but find them! I must get them!"

Ayahmah follows step by step the crystal-colored light that has intensified to brilliant white during her ascent. Suddenly, she perceives beautiful sounds and the scent of flowers. Everything becomes clearer and stronger with every step, each additional step. Finally, she sees an entire meadow full of huge flowers their vast blossoms resembling the form of a pitcher of a pitcher plant.