Awakening The Universal Heart E-Book

Serge Beddington-Behrens

• Herausgeber: Umbria Press
• Kategorie: Fachliteratur
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2013

Seitenzahl: 710

Beschreibung

I invite you to come on a journey with me into one of the most important, yet often most neglected dimension of yourself, namely your heart. I want to help you discover, as I have slowly been discovering, that our hearts not only hold the key to our being able to live a fuller and more meaningful life, but also to our being able to play a part in helping heal our planet.' The change needed is a shift out of our primarily head-focus into becoming increasingly heart-centred, where we are connected to our hearts and are potentially capable of moving mountains. We are only going to be good activists if we have plenty of heart in our lives - if we are big hearted with a well-activated Heart. A culture of Heart is vital if we are to heal the many wounds and splits that exist between different classes, religions, tribes and nations. The book has been written from a place of great hope and joy, based on knowledge that our world is changing and that the planetary heart is at last awakening.

Leseprobe

AWAKENING

The

UNIVERSAL

HEART

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Serge Beddington-Behrens, M.A.(Oxon.), Ph.D is an internationally respected spiritual educator, psychotherapist, couples counsellor and life coach who has worked in the area of healing and transformation for most of his life. He teaches a deeper approach to life based on recognising the importance of ‘growing’ our heart life which in turn enables people more easily to integrate spiritual practice with psychological self-inquiry into a concrete and fundamental transformation of their lives.

Serge works with individuals, couples and groups via individual sessions, seminars and week-long spiritual retreats. Currently, the main focus of his work is exploring how people may best use their newly emerging psychological and spiritual health to become more effective change agents or spiritual activists and how corporations may transform themselves to promote a truly sustainable future for our world.

For a calendar of future seminars, retreats and talks, to make a booking and for information on how to download his CDs, either visit Serge’s website on www.spiritual-activism.com, contact him on [email protected] or ring Serge Beddington-Behrens Seminars on 07787 474283.

Copyright © Serge Beddington-Behrens 2013

Serge Beddington-Behrens has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.

Umbria Press London SW15 5DPwww.umbriapress.co.uk

Printed and bound by Ashford Colour Press, Gosport

Paperback ISBN: 978-0-9541275-8-9 E book ISBN: 978-0-9573641-8-9

Serge Beddington-Behrenswww.spiritual-activism.com

For my darling daughter Irena

Foreword

Serge is a lovely man with a big heart and a correspondingly wide circle of friends. I have known him for nearly thirty years, first meeting him in 1984 when he lived in California and I was passing through promoting my new book. We went out to dinner in his open-top VW Beetle and I stayed for a few days in his house, where we had many engaging conversations. He had just completed his PhD in psychology and had co-founded an Institute for Conscious Evolution. He told me he was thinking of writing a book, and what you hold in your hands is the fruit of many years of living and reflecting on the role of the heart in spiritual and psychological practice – how we can heal both ourselves and the planet to which we have done so much damage.

Two years later, I moved into his spare cottage in Gloucestershire. As Serge lived next door, over the five years I spent there we were in very close contact. I remember us both talking about how important it was to take a stand for a new way of life and of looking at the world, and both of us have tried to honour our intentions ever since. With Serge, this primarily took the form of his working as a transpersonal psychotherapist, giving inspirational lectures and teaching spiritual retreats for business executives who wanted to find their heart. In the autumn of 1986 we co-chaired the celebrations for the eightieth birthday of Sir George Trevelyan, whose writings and teachings have inspired us both and who founded the Wrekin Trust, with which we are also both closely associated. We often used to meet him for lunch in those days. It was from Sir George that Serge got the idea of a ‘rising tide of love’ in the world, which is central to the theme of this important book.

In 2009, another friend, Iain McGilchrist, published his seminal book The Master and His Emissary, in which he proposed that our culture suffered from an imbalance, with too much emphasis placed on left-hemisphere analytical thinking at the expense of the right hemisphere, responsible for imaginative and creative activity. Serge’s diagnosis follows a similar pattern, but it is written from a much more experiential angle. With great honesty and openness, he weaves many of his own experiences and life challenges involved in trying to become himself what he calls an ‘activist of the heart’ into a book greatly needed in these troubled times. His basic theme is that our planet is in great crisis today and that humanity urgently needs to grow up. We are therefore called to shift from a mindset of selfish operation based on the illusion that we are separate from our world, to one of operating holistically, so that our lives can begin to revolve around serving a deeper evolutionary purpose. Serge’s view is that we can only ‘do’ this work effectively if we learn to open or awaken our hearts, and the book shows us how this can be done. He suggests we need to shift from being what he calls a caterpillar (old-style man) to becoming a butterfly (activist/heart man). In discussing the role that he feels the universal heart plays in this, he is building upon the work of the visionary UN assistant secretary general Dr Robert Muller, whom he also knew, and who also referred to the awakening of the Global Heart.

Serge told me he wanted to write about the universal heart because he believes that the emergence of this heart is an idea whose time has come and that more people should be introduced to it. Up until now we have heard a lot of talk about global brains and global minds, and now is the time for ‘the world of heart’ to come into its own. Indeed, if we look around at certain world events that have taken place in the last decade, we can see that this is in fact the case. For instance, readers will remember the worldwide tide of sympathy for the victims of the 2004 tsunami, the millions of people who protested against the Iraqi war, the passion of the Occupy movement and the many strands of environmental activism working towards the regeneration of nature. As Paul Hawken pointed out in his book Blessed Unrest, there is an enormous amount of work being carried out by NGOs around the world, which forms a counterweight to widespread apathy, despair and hopelessness. Most recently, many of us will recall the extraordinary ‘heart spirit’ of London 2012, which carried with it an enormous sense of hope, possibility and optimism. Our challenge, Serge suggests, is to learn not to close down our hearts again once the awakening moments have passed.

The first part of this fascinating book explores why the heart is so important and the huge price we pay if our hearts are closed or wounded, which leads us to feel cut off from experiencing what he calls the basic goodness of life. In the second section, Serge draws on his experiences as a shaman, healer and psychotherapist and looks at what we need to do to heal our hearts. He suggests that this is crucial if we wish to prepare ourselves for the next stage, the further cultivating of the ‘garden of our hearts’, which he explores in the third section of his book. Here it is not simply a question of awakening, but also of working at deepening our humanity, the essence of which he sees as residing inside our hearts. In this part there are fascinating chapters on how we may conduct our relationships more consciously, work more effectively with crisis and learn to forgive those who may have wounded us in some way. He also refers to the existence of ‘spiritual help forces’, and outlines ways and means that we can align ourselves with them and so receive an extra ‘leg up’ in our evolutionary endeavours. Of particular interest are his personal experiences with certain spiritual masters and his experiences with ayahuasca.

Perhaps the most significant part of this book is the last section, where Serge not only looks at challenges that might lie ahead for the human race, but also at what we can all concretely do to create a better world for ourselves and our children. Here, he has a chapter on what we can do to end war and find better ways of resolving conflicts than killing each other. In a fascinating chapter on how the activist might approach the whole topic of evil, he distinguishes between ‘obvious’ and ‘non-obvious’ evil, suggesting that the second kind is more deadly as it doesn’t initially appear to be evil and therefore we often cannot see it for what it is. He also notes that it is essential to work at integrating our own personal Shadow sides if we are to integrate marginalised and disowned areas of our society. In his last chapter, exploring the awakening of the corporate heart, he suggests that the ‘rising tide of love’ is also occurring in the business world and that a new ‘capitalism with heart’ is steadily arising, phoenix-like, out of the ashes of corporate corruption.

This book cannot be rushed. It is long and needs to be read slowly and carefully. It is full of little gems and is written from a place of great hope and joy, being based on Serge’s strong-felt sense that our world is changing for the better, that great goodness abounds and that the universal heart is awakening among increasing numbers of people, empowering them to move forward and confront those forces in the world that resist change. In these uncertain times, we need practical visionaries to show us the way towards a culture of love and of the heart. Serge is one such visionary and his book provides an invaluable roadmap if we have the courage to follow it. I welcome the fact that he plans to start an institute to teach the ideas presented in it, and I wish him all success with his venture and look forward to being on board.

David Lorimer, Fife, Scotland,

February 2013

David Lorimer is programme director of the Scientific and Medical Network, president of the Wrekin Trust and chief executive of Character Scotland. His website can be found at www.davidlorimer.net.

Acknowledgements

I want to thank the following people for having taught me so much about the heart.

Thank you, Irena, my beautiful mother. Thank you too, dear Averill Gordon, for also being a wonderful mother and for having given me a wise and beautiful daughter, Irena. Thank you, my old friend Peter Adler, for always making me laugh, and Peter Kyte for the consistency of your friendship and bless you, Joanna and Michael Brown, for your kindness and generosity at all times. Huge thanks to you, dear Michael Cowdray, for your generosity of spirit. I am so grateful to dear Alice Friend and lovely Monica Godwin, for the contribution that your big, loving hearts have made to my life, and also to Charles Montagu, Mark Collins, Chris Dreyfus and Chris Campbell-Carter, for the enormous gift of warmth which your buddy-hood always offers me. A big thank you to Lynne McGregor, Michael McIntyre, Simon Dermody and Yola Jerzykowski for having offered such wonderful support to me when I so needed it.

A very special thanks also goes to Alan Gordon Walker. No words can describe my gratitude to you for your kindness, love and support over the years and the many ways you have contributed to my life, and this is as true for your lovely wife Louise, who has also been such a loving and loyal friend. Thank you, too, my dear friend and fellow sacred activist David Lorimer, and bless you, Pragito Jackson, for having taught me so much about love and mindfulness. Carinthia West, I also want to acknowledge your big heart and generous spirit and I say a big thank you, too, to my old friend John Whitmore, for having turned me on all those years ago to the idea that the world is not always the way we see it. Huge gratitude also flows out to Roger Woolger, Larry Spiro, Papaji and Ram Dass. Your big, wise enlightened hearts have been invaluable to me at different stages of my soul journey. I am also grateful to you, dear Elisabet Sartouris, for having gone over this manuscript and for your many encouraging suggestions. Huge thanks to you, also, Johnnie Reed, for all your support and support over the years. We have been on so many important journeys together and I love you like the beloved brother I never had. Last, but in no way least, a vast thank you to Martina for being one of the kindest and most special women I have ever been privileged to meet and who, every day, teaches me more and more about the beauty, tenderness and generosity of the heart.

Thank you Ervin Laszlo, Elisabet Sartouris Susan Campbell, Stan Grof, John Welwood and Scylla Elworthy for giving me permission to quote from you. I have made every effort to contact those who I have quoted from, and I particularly regret being unable to thank Ken Wilber and Paul Hawken for the immensely valuable contributions which their works have made to the arguments put forward in this book. I will of course be happy to thank anyone who makes contact.

Contents

Foreword by David Lorimer

Acknowledgements

Invitation

Part One: Understanding the Heart

Chapter 1 The Significance of the Heart

Chapter 2 The Treasures of the Heart

Chapter 3 Understanding the Wounded Heart

Chapter 4 Opening to the Healing Heart

Chapter 5 The Challenges of Being an Activist

Part Two: Heart Work

Chapter 6 Eastern and Western Perspectives on Self-healing

Chapter 7 Investigating Ego Wounds

Chapter 8 Healing the Universal Heart

Chapter 9 Understanding the Shadow

Chapter 10 Integrating the Shadow

Part Three: Cultivating the Garden of the Heart

Chapter 11 Opening to the Spiritual Heart

Chapter 12 Opening to the Meditative Heart

Chapter 13 Awakening the Heart of Prayer

Chapter 14 Cultivating the Heart of Love

Chapter 15 Embracing the Virtues of the Heart

Chapter 16 Entering into the Heart of Relationship

Chapter 17 Working with the Sacred ‘Help Forces’

Chapter 18 Exploring the Heart of Forgiveness

Chapter 19 Understanding the Crises of the Heart

Part Four: The Great Heart Work

Chapter 20 Looking to the Future

Chapter 21 Exploring the Path of the Spiritual Activist

Chapter 22 The Many Faces of The Activist of Heart

Chapter 23 Healing Evil

Chapter 24 Transforming War

Chapter 25 Awakening the Corporate Heart

Epilogue

Notes

Index

Out of the confusion of a crumbling society will emerge individuals who are touched by higher guidance. These will inevitably flow together with others of like inspiration, and a new quality of society will begin to form. This is the true adventure of our time –

SIR GEORGE TREVELYAN

The movers and shakers on our planet aren’t the billionaires and the generals. They are the incredible people around the world filled with love for thy neighbour and for the earth, who are resisting, remaking, restoring, renewing, revitalising –

BILL MCKIBBEN

Invitation

Coming on a journey

I invite you to come on a journey with me into one of the most important, yet often most neglected, dimensions of yourself, namely your inner heart. I want to help you discover, as I have gradually been discovering over the course of my life, that this part of ourselves not only holds the key to our being able to live a fuller, happier and more authentic existence, but, if properly activated, will enable us to play a major role in helping create a happier and healthier world.

I believe that trying to focus on the creation of such a world is very important at this time and that as many of us as possible should start thinking seriously about this. We are living in enormously challenging times, and I think that those of us who are lucky enough not to be ill, destitute or incapacitated in some way have a certain responsibility to support those of our fellow human beings who may not be in such a fortunate position.

Our planet is in great crisis today and an enormous struggle is going on between two hugely conflicting worldviews. On the one hand, we are surrounded everywhere by outmoded behaviours and values, which are both holding us back and destroying our planet and therefore need to die off, yet are often fighting furiously to maintain their positions. On the other hand, we are seeing many movements for change going on all over the world, which are being led by people who are totally committed to working for a new and healthier future. These people are aware, as Erik Assadourian put it, that ‘salvaging our society requires nothing less than a wholesale transformation of dominant cultural patterns, a dramatic shift in the very design of human societies’.

Being an activist

So if you are someone who envisions themselves as a ‘redesigner’ and who wants to be part of this wholesale transformation, that is, someone who wants their life to make a difference; if you are perhaps interested in campaigning for human rights, going on marches to protect the environment, saving jaguars from extinction or whales from being slaughtered, ending war, taking a stand for organic food or, indeed, engaging in any other similar ‘difference-making’ activity; then you are a potential activist, and I hope this book will encourage you to bring more Heart force into whatever it is that you choose to commit to.

As the word implies, activists are active. They are doers. They not only have a vision of how a better world might look and how it might come into being, but they are also unafraid to get their hands and feet dirty in the process of working to realise their vision. Furthermore, they know that in order to be truly effective in their work, they ‘need to be the change that they wish to see happen’, as that great activist and change agent Gandhi once put it. This means that we need actually to embody those new societal values that we wish to see unfurl in the world, so that they don’t merely reside inside our heads as good ideas or concepts.

Opening to Heart

This is very important. Knowing about what is wrong with our planet and having the willingness and capacity to do something concrete about it are two entirely different things. Many people who are intellectually aware of many of civilisation’s discontents (and have even written books about them) nonetheless continue being part of them, because they haven’t yet made the necessary transition within themselves that would enable them to be part of the solution. Therefore, if we wish to be an activist in a true sense, we may be challenged to make certain inner shifts. This is where Heart comes in, which is why I believe it is so important and why many of us may have a lot of initial transformational work to do on ourselves.

If we would like our lives in some way to be about ‘making a difference’, we will need to have access to a lot of our humanity, and as the place where our humanity resides is inside our hearts, we will need to have an open heart if we wish to uncover it. However, an open heart is not a ‘given’. Many of us, for many different reasons, have hearts which are blocked or closed down and therefore not properly activated, and this means that we do not have access to that part of ourselves which enables our love and grace and integrity and compassion to be present, which in turn would let us be the change we wish to see happen. I am arguing that only if we ‘come from’ or live out of our hearts do we possess the capability not only of truly appreciating what is amiss with our world, but at the same time having the willingness and capability to produce the necessary ‘reordering energy’ to do something positive about it.

The universal heart

But we need to go even further. In order to be an effective healer or transformer of society (which, essentially, is what the activist is), it is not only essential that we work from the perspective of an open heart, but that we also are able to connect into that dimension of our hearts which is universal.

Our universal heart is the sum total of all our individual hearts. It is the heart of our species. It is that ‘one heart’ which all of us human beings share and are connected into, and it contains the joys and fears and happy and sad memories of our species through the ages. We will know that we are beginning to connect to this universal heart when we observe ourselves being moved to support causes where there is no direct personal gain to ourselves, or when we begin feeling very angry about world injustice. We will sense the universal heart opening inside us when we notice that we care deeply about what happens to people whom we have never met, or when we feel moved to take a strong stand for a particular cause which we feel passionately about. We are tapping into this heart when we start feeling deeply connected to our fellow human beings and sometimes experience strong intimations of everyone on the planet being our brother and sister! The more we can begin to operate out of such a worldview, the more effective our activism is going to be.

One of the main differences between someone who is universally hearted and most of us today is that they possess a qualitatively bigger heart, that is, one that is larger in its dimensional attributes. People who have access to the universal heart are able to hold more of the world ‘out there’ inside themselves. They tend to be more understanding, more intuitive, more sensitive. They are much less fettered by boundaries and therefore able to embrace more surfaces of life and place more emphasis upon what it is that unites us, as opposed to what divides us. Despite coming from entirely different cultures, races or parts of the planet, when universally hearted people encounter one another, there is always the experience of a shared human unity. This is why being the possessor of an open heart is absolutely essential for effective activism. When Robert Muller, who served as assistant secretary general to the United Nations for most of his adult life, wrote that ‘in order to model a happy and beautiful world, we must believe in it; we must be in love with it; we must reach out for the highest levels of peace, justice, beauty and happiness; we must encourage each other in this task, individual to individual, nation to nation, race to race, culture to culture, continent to continent’, his words flowed directly out of an awakened universal heart.

I have invented a word: ‘enheartener’. An enheartener is someone who has begun to live out of their heart and who therefore seeks to model Muller’s world. To be effective as activists, we need to be enhearteners; we need to be able to move through life in a wakeful, tender, gentle, wise, loving, honest and strong way, so that wherever we go and whatever we do, wholesome energy naturally flows out of us and into whatever part of the world we happen to be engaging with. What enhearteners do is that they ‘enhearten’. Regardless of how or where we work – be we a politician or a postman, a diplomat, banker, housewife or dustman – we become what I call a natural ‘raiser’ of life, in that in our presence the world around us starts to become elevated and ennobled.

How to read this book

This book is divided into four parts. The first section focuses on explaining what the heart is and what it means and how we can learn to connect more fully with this most intrinsic or core part of ourselves. The second part explores the whole issue of how our hearts have become wounded and what we can do to heal them. Here, I talk a lot about the ego and, I hope, correct a few misunderstandings that exist. The third part specifically looks at the world of the spiritual heart and at how we may awaken the heart’s spiritual dimensions, while the last part explores some of the many different ways that our desire to be of service can be concretely embodied, thus enabling us to honour what Albert Schweitzer believed was our true task on Earth. In his words:

We who are heirs of a complex civilisation are charged with one major historical task: to aid the world in achieving true culture. It is up to us to make the light of a truly humanitarian culture shine throughout the world.1

Heart, religion and spirituality

One cannot write about the heart and humanity without also looking at spirituality, since a ‘Heart person’ cannot help also being a spiritual person. At another level, therefore, this book may also be seen as a kind of basic ‘spiritual primer’.

I need to make it clear that being spiritual does not necessarily require us to be religious. While I have experience of different religions and at various times in my life have studied and benefited enormously from my connection with shamans, Buddhists, Sufis and Christians, encountering along the way many religious people with enormous hearts and learning much from them, I have never felt myself drawn to be part of any particular religion. I am not in any way anti-religion; I have the greatest respect for people of all faiths and I know that religious traditions offer millions of people enormous comfort. It is simply that it is not my way or therefore the path I offer here. The word ‘religion’ comes from the Latin religio, meaning ‘reconnection’, and my experience is that if we can find our own way of reconnecting to the deeper parts of ourselves, we are already a large part of the way there. In this context, I would like to quote from what a very big-hearted friend who loves horses once said to me:

Serge, riding is my sacred occupation. It makes me feel fully alive, and on horseback I feel far more connected to my heart or to my spiritual self or whatever you want to call it, together with the whole glory of nature all around me, than I ever do inside a church.

Eric Clapton, the great blues musician, feels the same thing about music and his way of reconnecting to himself comes through playing the blues. His music never ceased to ‘hold him’ as he was going through some pretty challenging experiences in his life. In his insightful autobiography, he tells us: ‘For me, the most trustworthy vehicle for spirituality had always proven to be music. It cannot be manipulated or politicised.’ Again, this is not to decry religion, churches or any other place of worship, so much as to suggest that there are many ways that we may connect to the sacred, some of which we will be exploring here, and that each of us is challenged to find what works best for us. I am, therefore, wholly in accord with a recent pronouncement about spirituality by His Holiness the Dalai Lama:

Spirituality I take to be concerned with qualities of the human spirit – such as love, compassion, tolerance, forgiveness, contentment, a sense of responsibility, a sense of harmony – which brings contentment both to self and others. And there is no reason why the individual should not develop these, even to a high degree, without recourse to any religious or metaphysical system. This is why I sometimes say that religion is something we can do without. What we cannot do without are these basic spiritual qualities.

Moving into deep spaces

For the great visionary thinker and pioneer Stan Grof, ‘spirituality is an intrinsic property of the psyche that emerges spontaneously when the process of self-exploration reaches sufficient depth’. It is my hope that this book will help you ask many new questions and, in trying to answer them, will take you to deep places. However, it is not one that you can rush through. It is long and quite detailed and I know people today like short books that they may easily whip through. So if you are a ‘whip through’ kind of person, I offer you my apologies. Due to my own limitations, I have not been able to go to the depths I felt were warranted without using a lot of words.

However, it is possible for you to skip about if you want to. Every chapter is self-contained and may be read individually. For example, if you would like to discover more about prayer or forgiveness or about the nature of evil, or if you want to see how you may work to try to end war or weather crises better or bring more sacredness into your relationships or learn how business may transform the planet, you can jump straight to the relevant chapter.

However you approach this book, please know that it has been written from a place of great hope and joy, based on the knowledge that our world is changing, that the universal Heart awareness is awakening among increasing numbers of people, and that, as we will be seeing, the forces of resistance or of heartlessness are being powerfully confronted. As I write, millions of people from all over the planet, are coming together to protest – to say ‘no’ to corruption and dishonesty, ‘no’ to manipulation and limitation, ‘no’ to despotic regimes, ‘no’ to dishonest bankers and large corporations that pollute the planet, and this gladdens me enormously.

What has particularly inspired me is my great love for my beautiful fourteen-year-old daughter. She is a wise soul. I want a better world for her and other young people to grow up in. I don’t want her to have to censor the joy inside her heart or feel she has to sacrifice her innate sacredness in order to ‘fit in’ to the requirements of a soulless society – become some diminutive little cog on a vast faceless wheel. I also want the many wise young people who are being born today to grow up in a wholesome society where there is peace and good heart. If this book can help in a minuscule way towards achieving that objective, it will not have been written in vain.

ONE

Understanding the Heart

Man becomes great not by birth but by heart –

A NOTICE IN A TIBETAN REFUGEE CAMP

The present threat to mankind’s survival can be removed only by a revolutionary change of heart in individual human beings

ARNOLD TOYNBEE

Chapter 1

The Significance of the Heart

Without the heart, the human would be sinister ... All feeling is born in the heart –JOHN O’DONOHUE

Civilisation gets its basic energy not from its resources butfrom its hopes. The tragedy of life is not death, but whatwe let die inside us while we live –NORMAN COUSINS

The importance of the heart

The world of the heart is deeply significant As the poet John O’Donohue put it:

Without the heart, the human would be sinister. To be able to feel is the great gift. When you feel for another, you become united with that person in an intimate way; your concern and compassion come alive, drawing some of the other person’s world and spirit into yours ... Without the ability to feel, friendship and love could never be born. All feeling is born in the heart. This makes the human heart the true jewel of the world.1

Our hearts, then, connect us feelingly, not only to ourselves, but also to the hearts of others and to the heart of our world, and, as I hope to show, they are our greatest weapon of mass construction. The great Catholic visionary theologian Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, writing in the 1940s, understood this. He postulated that there was more power inside our human hearts than inside the atomic bomb. The mistake that we often make is to believe that the mind is the boss and that we may only think clearly when our minds are ‘uncontaminated’ by our ‘mushy hearts’. In actuality, it is the other way round. Osho puts the record straight:

The mind is only a servant. The master is the heart, because all that is beautiful grows in the heart; all that is valuable comes out of the heart – your love, your compassion, your meditation. Anything that is valuable grows in the garden of the heart. The heart is the onlypossibility for you to be bridged with your being, with existence. It is the only possibility for songs to arise, for stars to descend in you, for your life to become a rejoicing ... When you have a heart that is alive, your mind’s quality will also change. Then you can go to the mind; you can function through the mind. Then the mind will become just an instrument: you can use it ... Then you are not obsessed with it ... The heart will give you a feeling that you are a master.2

This corresponds to the view of Chinese medicine, which regards the heart as the ‘Emperor’ or the ‘Supreme Controller’. While every organ in the body is regarded as an ‘official’ with a specific piece of work to do, the heart is always seen as the ‘director’ in charge of them all. Most importantly, the heart is the centre of our emotional life. It is the core of who we are and the Latin word for heart is cor. Daniel Goleman argues that the pervading view of human intelligence as essentially being intellectual is far too narrow and hence he coined the term ‘emotional intelligence’, which is based on qualities such as self-awareness, altruism and compassion. He regards a high EQ (emotional quotient) as being more important than a high IQ, and as being a key ingredient in all people who excel in the face of life’s challenges.3

Our heart is essentially our affective centre or the seat of our emotional life. It is through the heart that we feel things and digest our emotions, and so it connects our body, mind, emotions and spirit together. In the words of Doc Childre, founder of the Institute of HeartMath: ‘Since emotional processes can work faster than the mind, it takes a power stronger than mind to bend perception, override emotional circuitry and provide us with intuitive feeling instead. It is the power of the heart.’ He goes on to suggest that

when the heart rhythm patterns are coherent, the neural information sent to the brain facilitates its cortical function, and the effect is often experienced as heightened mental clarity, improved decision-making and increased creativity ... The consistent and pervasive influence of the heart’s rhythmic patterns on the brain and body not only affects our physical health, but also significantly influences our perceptual processing, emotional experience and our intentional behaviour.

Put simply, with Heart, we feel better, think much more clearly and act much more effectively. Inside our hearts is also the place where, metaphorically speaking, Heaven and Earth converge, that is, where the ‘downflow’ of involution encounters the ‘upflow’ of evolution, and thus where agape (divine love) blends with eros (erotic love). It is inside our hearts where our spirituality meets with our materiality. In Sufism, the heart is always seen as being winged because it is rooted in the heart of our Creator, and thus is regarded as being the doorway into our deeper, sacred self. Indeed, all the great inventors, explorers, writers, poets, activists and visionaries who in their various ways have contributed to our culture have all done so on the wings of their hearts. I therefore believe that one of our great challenges at this time is for us to learn how to harness our Heart power, which we can then use to propel ourselves forward as a species. In the process, we may create a new and improved world for ourselves – a world that ‘works’, a world that is more compassionate, sustainable and humane.

The loss of heart

Sadly, what is most ‘wrong’ with our society – what underlies so many of the problems and crises that we see all around us today – is that as a species, we seem to have lost touch with our hearts. In Thomas Merton’s words: ‘We have lost Dante’s vision of that love which moves the sun and all the stars and, in so doing, we have lost the power to find meaning in the world.’ The novelist Ben Okri believes that ‘our material success has brought us to a strange spiritual and moral bankruptcy, where the more our society has succeeded, the more its heart has failed’.4

This is a profound observation. Our problem in the world today is that not enough of us think with our hearts, feel with our hearts or act through our hearts. Particularly if we are male, we may believe that only so-called ‘manly things’ that are hard, concrete and pragmatic are of ‘real importance’, and that the softer, more poetic domains of life, connected to qualities such as awe, wonder, beauty and mystery are somehow of less significance. As a result, many of us men may relegate our hearts to the basement of our being, where, shut away, they gradually shrivel up through neglect. Many of the distortions in our modern lifestyles, which include our tendencies to overconsumption, overwork, superficial and narcissistic lifestyles, self-destruction and addiction, and the devaluation of beauty, emanate from an insufficiently lived Heart life.

This lack of emotional heart is particularly visible in the world of politics and economics. Too many mistakes occur as a result of complex situations being improperly grasped or misread. In the recent Iraq war, for example, had even a modicum of Heart been present in the decision-making, not only would we never have gone to war in the first place, but all the many subsequent mistakes that took place, including the heartless treatment of the Iraqi people, and the enormous costs all round that resulted from this, would never have occurred.

At a relational level, our loss of Heart is especially destructive, because it is only through our hearts that we can effectively connect to ‘the heart’ or true essence of another human being. If we are closed off to this dimension of ourselves, we won’t be able to relate intimately; we won’t be able to sense how others see the world, and thus intuitively know the right way to be with them. This means that we can never know another person deeply, empathise properly with them or fully enjoy or appreciate them, all of which is so important if we are to understand and love them.

If we wish to be effective activists, where we are seeking to be instrumental in creating a happier, more harmonious and workable world, many of us need to learn to bring our hearts back in from the cold and have them become a central factor in the way we live. A better world will come into being only when sufficient numbers of us will have learned to eat our meals with Heart, raise our children with Heart, make love with Heart, go to the office with Heart, cook with Heart, surf the internet with Heart, and play all our sports with Heart.

An inability to experience the goodness of life

The reason we experience this devaluing of Heart is that many of us have learned from an early age only to live out of the left hemisphere of our brain – only to utilise and trust that part of ourselves which perceives life through a rational lens. As a result, we are forever trying to understand our world and respond to its problems, not by trusting in our intuition or by looking at life as a whole, but rather by coldly dissecting it – breaking it down into small pieces and reducing and analysing each part separately. From this perspective, the domain of feelings and senses becomes regarded as (a) ‘unscientific’ and therefore not dependable, and (b) irrelevant in the larger scheme of things. Recently, a Brandeis University biochemist, on being asked to dissolve his humanities programmes due to budget cuts, challenged this rational approach, proclaiming that ‘science unleavened by the human heart and the human spirit is sterile, cold and self-absorbed’.

He was so, so right. Indeed, had even a modicum of Heart been present among those scientists who had been working on the atom bomb, this monstrosity would never have seen the light of day, nor would all the newest weapons of mass destruction that are currently being invented. The insane doctrine of ‘perpetual war for perpetual peace’, which not too many years ago was a cornerstone of American foreign policy, could only have been invented by men whose hearts were cold as iron.

Hearts need to be employed

The point about our hearts is that they need to be used. They are not like a machine, where the less it is employed, the newer it remains. With our hearts, it is the direct opposite. Underuse makes them contract and wither, rendering it difficult for us to bring passion or grace into our lives. Not only does this incline us to live numbed and sometimes robotic lives, but it inevitably disconnects us from life’s inherent joy and abundance. Life’s magic is there, sure enough, but in our underused Heart state, we cannot properly experience it. This is why so many of us ‘rationals’ are so enamoured with our struggling and feel that if we were only to ‘have’ more, ‘do’ more or ‘achieve’ more, we would be happier. Deep down, we all know what an illusion this is. The main point I want you to understand at this stage is that all our imbalances and injustices and disorders and inequalities basically have the same root, which is an insufficiently utilised heart. When we learn to step forward into our integrity and balance, which is a by-product of reconnecting with our hearts, we will all naturally and wholeheartedly feel moved to create a better world for ourselves, one that doesn’t simply favour the privileged few but works for the benefit of all.

Heart work

To have a world that functions properly, then, requires that we all have hearts that function properly. This does not happen just by magic. The process of awakening our hearts involves work. However, it is not the kind of work that many of us ordinarily associate with this word. We are used only to understanding work as being something external, as when, say, we ‘go out to work’. Here, we must learn that there is another ‘living’ to be earned, namely an inner one, and that if we want to enjoy a richer inner life where we can be of real service to our fellow human beings, that attention must also be directed to the idea of ‘going inside ourselves to work’. The poet Rumi understood this: ‘If you wish your heart to be bright, you must do a little work. If metal can be polished to a mirror-like finishing, what polishing does the mirror of the heart require?’5

As we begin to work on our hearts in this way, and as they slowly start to open, we may find that many of life’s absurdities which our rational mind had accepted as being ‘normal’ now start revealing themselves to us more clearly. We may gradually come to see how absurd it is to look for happiness by following the path of materialism and power, or how insane it is that one of the main ways we try to keep the peace is by channelling most of our funds (that could go to help the poor) into designing ever more grotesque weapons to destroy ourselves with.

Lack of education for the heart

Once we start to ‘work on’ our hearts, we may become increasingly aware that ordinarily, we focus little attention on them (unless we suffer from heart disease, and then only on their physical aspects), and that most of our focus goes on our minds. Of all the many courses available designed to ‘improve ourselves’, 99 per cent are directed towards developing ourselves mentally – becoming more efficient, more effective and so on. Our educational system also primarily only addresses our minds. At my old school for example, our motto was ‘mens sana in corpore sano’: ‘a healthy mind in a healthy body’. No mention of the heart!

Similarly, at our universities, all the emphasis is on the developing of our cognitive faculties. We learn about things, not how to experience them directly. In all the classes I attended in my student days, I only ever learned to amass factual knowledge. No one ever pointed out to me that there might be knowledge inside me and that the place where it resided might be my heart. In this context, Jung once said something very important: ‘Any part of ourselves that we do not own becomes our enemy.’ It is therefore perhaps not surprising that our culture today is one that is very prone to heart attacks – especially among men – as perhaps attacking us is one of the few ways that our poor, underused and repressed little hearts can gain our attention and remind us that they exist! So long as we do not learn to activate the ‘peacemaker’ inside our hearts, we will always be liable to require a pacemaker!

The need for heart/mind integration

Please don’t get me wrong. I do not wish to suggest that heart is superior to mind, nor that the domain of thinking and analysing is not important and is not a key ingredient of life. Of course it is. I have enormous respect for the mind. My concern is simply about what happens to it when it becomes separated from heart, for when this occurs, it so often turns into a suppressor of it. In Ian McGilchrist’s words:

The left brain is tyrannous. It’s a ratchet mechanism, difficult to reverse. This arrogant left hemisphere behaves like a brain in a vat. It doesn’t see us as integrated minds and bodies ... In the madness of our left-brain lives, it is not other people with whom we empathisebut machines.6

This is especially true today in the way that we are all being swamped with left-brain technology. Yes, I like it that I can send emails on my mobile phone. Yes, it is wonderful that I can instantaneously access information by going onto the internet (our global brain). However, I never want to be a slave to this technology or be under the illusion that greater efficiency necessarily adds to the quality, as opposed to the convenience, of my life. While I agree that the Arab Spring could never have been as successful as it was were it not for the new technologies enabling people to link up, I feel that far too many of us are becoming far too dependent on them. New data suggests that long hours on the internet actually begin to rewire our brains and are starting to create a whole new list of psychiatric disorders. So however useful Facebook may be at one level, reminding us how many ‘friends’ we have, we must never pretend that 500 cyberbuddies are any substitute for the kind of real Heart work that goes into the making of a handful of genuine flesh-and-blood ones. In other words, merely possessing a technology that enables us to link up with others guarantees neither that we feel moved to utilise it nor that we are capable of connecting to another person in a genuine way. The truth is that if our technology is to be effective, we need something more than that technology alone. We need to have both the desire and the capacity to connect, which is only possible through the awakening of our emotional and spiritual intelligence which is only to be located inside our hearts.

The truth is that mind needs heart as its partner, in exactly the same way that heart needs mind to be its friend. If we are to function effectively, love and logic need to fuse inside us, and the more we learn to feel with our minds as well as think with our hearts, the more our humanity will grow and the wiser we will become.

The empowering force of whole-heartedness

When we feel really good about something, we can say that we feel ‘whole hearted’ about it, which means that many of the functions of our heart are being activated. What is significant, however, is that this expansive experience does not occur just for us. It may also be sensed by those who, in some way, are included in our experience. Let me give you two examples of what I mean, as they beautifully demonstrate the power of the heart.

I am a tennis player. I love the game, which is to say that my heart is in it. And I have just watched the final of the Australian Open, and the reason I particularly love watching Rafa Nadal play, and also the reason he is so good, is that he always plays with his full heart. He does not hold himself back from sharing his emotions and putting his all into every stroke, so that one feels that it is his heart that is coordinating his body and his mind, and that this is what enables him to be so effective – to always seem to produce the right shot for the occasion. The fact that he plays with heart also uplifts me, as something of his joy and enthusiasm is able to convey itself to me – to touch and inspire me. Indeed, my own tennis game becomes that little bit better after I have watched him at work. Through his deep connection to the ‘heart’ of tennis and through my watching him play, I am also helped to become more connected to the heart of tennis.

I will give you another example. A few days ago, I watched a performance on TV of three people all singing the same song to qualify to represent the United Kingdom in the upcoming Eurovision Song Contest. Two people sang the song very well, but the third contestant put something extra – a certain magic – into it. One could say that she put her whole heart into it and in so doing, got into the true heart of the song, which was something that neither of the other contestants had managed to do. The consequence of this was that she enabled the deeper essence or the full-heartedness of that song to be conveyed directly to me.

The effect was extraordinary. When this woman sang, my heart felt deeply touched, which is another way of saying that it also sang. Not only did I feel that the real essence of the song had emerged, but – and this is the key point – so did the beauty and sweetness of the singer emerge along with it. Singer and song – the heart of both essences had converged. In singing her heart out – quite literally – this woman not only revealed the beauty of the song but added the beauty of her own heart and voice to it as well. As I listened to her, I became aware of a powerful force of goodness being present, of a light streaming out of her and into me, and as a result, I felt more connected to my own heart and I think I temporarily became a slightly better person. It felt as if a beautiful little gift had just been given to me. This is the power of the enheartening presence. And we may connect to it in so many different ways.

So if, for whatever reason, we become disconnected from our hearts, or worse, if we have never learned to link into them in the first place, it will be hard for Heart presence to touch us. Beauty will not be able to reach us. We will feel distanced from love. The result will often manifest itself as a nagging sense that there is something intrinsically wrong with us, that something is radically lacking in our lives. As a consequence, we may feel marooned on life’s surfaces, alienated, envious, suspicious, unhappy with our lot. If we cannot see through our hearts, speak from our hearts, feel with our hearts, listen with our hearts, act from our hearts, process life through our hearts, we will not be open to the heart of life communicating to us in all the many ways that it is continually trying to do. And this will give us pain. The tragedy is that many of us live every day in this state and feel it is normal because we have never known anything else. I also believe there is a strong connection between an absence of heart and a fear of change, which is a theme we will explore later.

The power of Heart presence

I will tell you a little true story. A robber broke into a woman’s house in the middle of the night, and when she woke up and found him there, she told him in a loving way where her main jewellery was to be found. ‘Obviously,’ she said to him, ‘you are in dire need.’ In the face of such kindness, the robber felt disarmed. He dropped everything and ran away. The next day, she found a letter in her letterbox telling her that he hadn’t been able to bear her kindness and love and so had had to leave!

Nelson Mandela is a great example of someone with Heart presence. I think the main reason that he was able to lead his people out of the darkness of apartheid and into the light of a new and more integrated society without a single drop of blood being shed was that his heart was big enough to carry his entire nation within it. Tenderness and compassion ooze out of his every pore. There is something about this extraordinary, sweet and open man, who bore no grudges against those who had jailed him for so many years, that makes us instinctively love and trust him, which in turn also brings out the best in us. Mother Teresa was another big-hearted person. She would always stress that the true measure of effectiveness of any action is not how big it is or how many people it will affect, but how much heart is being put into it.

In my small way, I have always tried in my role as a psychotherapist and consultant to bring Heart into my work, and if I have ever been a little bit helpful to anyone, it has probably been due to an ability to hold that person inside my heart, and not through any ‘clever interpretations’ I may have been able to spout out as to what I felt may have been amiss with them. An Indian chief once said: ‘Never judge another person until you have walked ten miles in their moccasins.’ This is a beautiful idea, but we can’t embrace it unless we know how to connect with our heart to another person’s heart. Heart power, we must understand, is soft power. It is not power over anyone or anything. It doesn’t want to control or dominate. Rather, it is a subtle kind of cooperative force that both enables and ennobles whomever or whatever it happens to be directed upon at any time.

Variations of Heart

There are many different variations to our hearts, and this needs to be borne in mind, especially if we have particular ideas about what characterises a ‘Heart person’. We may, for example, feel that ‘Heart people’ should all be gentle, warm and fuzzy, and that if they are not, they don’t have Heart. Nothing could be further from the truth. While many people of Heart are this way, many are not. It certainly was not Mother Theresa’s way, who by all accounts had a side that would not suffer fools gladly. The truth is that no one person enheartens in exactly the same way as anyone else, as all our hearts are different.

How we may manifest Heart is not only affected by the situation we face, or by how awake our hearts are, but also by the kind of temperament we have. Some people, for example, have very fiery and passionate hearts – a lot of Sufi teachers are like this – while other hearts are much cooler, quieter and detached. I learned much about the detached heart through my experience with Buddhist meditation teachers during my years living in California. Some people like to wear their hearts more on their sleeves, while others prefer to keep them more under wraps and will only reveal them when deemed appropriate. Also, each of us tends to embody a different quality or different qualities of Heart. For example, I can contrast my ‘brave-hearted’ friend Danaan, who lived his life with enormous passion (he used to work in the field of conflict resolution) with my more tender and kind-hearted friend Pragito. In Danaan’s presence, I would feel uplifted and inspired; with Pragito, I would feel connected to my inner gentleness.

Conversely, I can think of the beautiful, soothing and totally non-judgemental ‘listening heart’ of my dear friend Louise, in whose calming presence I always feel seen and heard, or the practical and very incisive heart of her husband Alan, who is one of my oldest friends, and who, throughout my life, has always been there to assist and support me in those many areas where I am deficient. I also think of the ‘forgiving heart’ of my friend Larry, whose presence always brings up compassion inside me, and then, of course, there is the jolly, merry heart of my old friend Sue, whose humour, laughter and generosity of being are so infectious that whatever anxieties I might be carrying soon get despatched after just a few minutes in her presence. I also think of the tender and generous heart of beautiful Carinthia, who, despite a very busy life, is always there to love and support her many friends. I have never met anyone who does not adore her.

As I contemplate the various kinds of Heart qualities of some of my friends, I also think very tenderly of a special friend, Roger, who, sadly, has just died and who also taught me so much. I miss him hugely. His heart was vast and brave and kind, and to the end, he never lost touch with his inner child and a sense of mischief. He was one of the best examples I know of a great scholar with a great intellect, yet whose mind was continually being leavened by the influence of his awakened heart. All his ideas flowed out of him on the wings of love, which was both what gave them their power and enabled them to be so palatable. When in his company, my heart would always be stretched and would never be allowed to be lazy, and for this I am eternally grateful.

Without Heart, there can be no poetry in our lives, and we need poetry to balance us. President J. F. Kennedy recognised this only too well: ‘When power leads man towards arrogance,’ he told us, ‘poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the area of man’s concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.’ Genuine poets are always Heart-ful human beings. Even if we have never written a line of verse in our entire lives and never will, the more we are able to access the richness inside our hearts, the more spontaneously poetic we will naturally become in all areas of our lives.

Chapter 2