21,99 €
Mehr erfahren.
- Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
- Kategorie: Fachliteratur
- Sprache: Englisch
In Bounce Back, veteran financial coach and bestselling author Lynnette Khalfani-Cox explains how she slayed six figures of consumer debt in a mere three years and went on to build a seven-figure personal net worth. The author shows you how to take on--and defeat--the most common and difficult challenges facing Americans today, from debt, disability, and job downsizing to disasters, discrimination, divorce, and more. She draws on her own extensive experience helping people with their most intractable financial problems, the wisdom of other money coaches, financial therapists, certified financial planners, and psychologists - as well as the inspiring stories of everyday people who have bounced back from adversity. Emphasizing the critical importance of emotional, financial, social, and physical resilience, Bounce Back demonstrates 10 practical and hands-on techniques you can implement immediately to build your resilience and recover fiscally and emotionally from the most frequently experienced personal finance setbacks. You'll also discover: * How to handle the ever-rising cost of living and the increased impact of high levels of inflation * Actionable strategies for burning down your debt as fast as reasonably possible * Practical advice for people who face discrimination and maltreatment in the financial, housing, and employment markets An essential and endlessly inspiring roadmap to a better financial tomorrow, Bounce Back is an expert guide to transforming a seemingly impossible challenge into a manageable setback you can overcome with skill, faith, and resilience.
Sie lesen das E-Book in den Legimi-Apps auf:
Seitenzahl: 562
Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2023
Ähnliche
Table of Contents
Cover
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Foreword
Introduction
My Story of Overcoming Financial and Personal Problems
Discrimination Can Damage Your Finances Too
A Spiral of Success
How to Use This Book: Faith, Finances, and Your Future
Chapter 1: Resilience and Grit in the Face of Adversity, Transition, and Change
The Drive: A Famous Sports Comeback
Understanding the Value of Transition and Change
The Upside of Your Transition and Stress
Defining and Developing Resilience
Financial Resilience
Structural Inequality and Systems
Many Forms of Resilience
Write a Letter to Yourself from the Perspective of a Compassionate Friend
Fostering Social Resilience
Enhancing Physical Resilience
Recognizing and Embracing Your Strengths
Resources for Resilience and Grit
Chapter 2: Building Your Resilience
Strategy 1: Practicing Mindfulness
Strategy 2: Cultivating Gratitude
Strategy 3: Journaling
Strategy 4: Being Patient with Yourself
Strategy 5: Practicing Self‐compassion
Strategy 6: Seeking Professional Help
Strategy 7: Staying Connected
Strategy 8: Focusing on Self‐care
Strategy 9: Establishing a New Money Game Plan
Strategy 10: Creating a Financial Plan B
Resources for Building Resilience
Chapter 3: Downsized from a Job
The Handwriting on the Wall
Downsizing and Layoffs Are Painful—and Widespread—in America
The Rise of AI Will Lead to More Job Loss
The Emotional Aspects of Job Loss
Coping Strategies to Help
Three Crucial Financial Steps in the Wake of Job Loss
Interim Economic Moves to Survive a Downsizing
Job Hunting the Right Way
10 Best Career Reentry Strategies to Find New Employment
Reflect, Analyze, and Improve Your Way to a New Job
Should You Look for Another Job at All?
A Pivotal Turning Point
Is Entrepreneurship Right for You?
Downsized from a Job Resources
Chapter 4: Divorce
The Financial Cost of My Divorce
Women Pay Alimony and Child Support Too
Casting Off Your Ex‐spouse Financially
Protecting Your Credit During Divorce
Long‐term Planning During Divorce
Common Financial Mistakes to Avoid During Divorce
Post‐divorce Stories of Emotional Recovery
My Sister's Divorce Story
Divorce Resources
Chapter 5: Death of a Loved One
Bouncing Back Amid the Pain
Coping Strategies to Deal with Grief
The Six Transition Truths
The Trauma of Losing My Sister
Understanding Your Ancillary Losses
Taking the First Crucial Five Steps
Handling Special Circumstances
Finding Missing Money
Making It Past the Initial Phase
Emotional Responses to Financial Grief
Death of a Loved One Resources
Chapter 6: Disability
Setting the Bar Higher
What Are Disabilities and How Prevalent Are They?
A Comprehensive View of Managing the Challenges Tied to Disabilities
The Basics of Disability Insurance and How It Can Help Financially
All About Social Security Disability Insurance
Eligibility for SSDI
A Profile of Who Collects SSDI
A Host of Benefits with SSDI
Claiming Social Security Disability Income or Workers' Comp Benefits
Getting Workers' Compensation Benefits
What to Do If You Get Sued for Overpayment of Disability Benefits
Six Alternative Income Sources When You Have a Disability and Can't Work
Federal and State Resources That Help the Disabled and Their Caregivers
The Mind‐Body Connections That Can Help You Overcome a Physical Disability
Bouncing Back from Disability
Disability Resources
Chapter 7: Disease
Disease Can Spark a Cascade of Medical Bills
How to Handle Lost Income and Employment Challenges
The Importance of Building the Right Support System
How to Communicate with Health Care Providers
How to Deal with Insurance Companies
Appealing a Denial from Your Health Insurer
What Medical Providers and Health Care Systems Can Do
How to Handle Medical Debt
The Vicious Cycle of Chronic Illness, Disease, and Medical Debt
Strategies for Dealing with Medical Debt
All About Charity Care Programs
Drawbacks to Charity Care Programs
Using “No Surprising Billing” Legislation to Your Advantage
Steps for Taking Care of Your Emotional Health
How to Develop a Financial Recovery Plan
Disease Resources
Chapter 8: Disasters
No Aspect of Life Untouched
The Long‐lasting Impact of Natural Disasters
Understanding Billion‐dollar Weather and Climate Disasters
An Insider's View of How Disaster Recovery Works
All About Free Money from the Red Cross
What to Do the First 24 to 72 Hours After a Disaster
What to Do the First Week to 10 Days After Disaster Strikes
How to Secure FEMA Aid After a Disaster
How to Handle Living with Disaster Six Months Later
How to Cope with Long‐term Disasters Six Months to Six Years and Beyond
All About the New Federal Effort Designed to Help Disaster Survivors
How to Deal with the Two Most Common Insurance Claims Problems
How to Address Trauma and Manage Your Emotions
How to Plan for Future Natural Disasters
Disaster Resources
Chapter 9: Debt
How to Recognize Emotional Spending
How to Enter the No Shame Zone
A Unique Look at Needs Versus Wants
An Inspirational Tale of Going from Debt to Wealth
What to Do If Your Home Mortgage Has Become Unaffordable
How to Navigate Your Home Options
How to Deal with Your Emotional Burden
Fool‐proof, Effective Strategies to Knock Out Credit Card Debt Once and for All
How to Cut Auto Loan Debt Even If You're Leasing or Are Upside Down on a Car Loan
Smart Ways to Eliminate College Debt for Federal Student Loans and Private Loans
How to Get Others, Such as the Government or an Employer, to Repay Your College Debt
Solutions to Get Out of Payday Loan Traps
Easy Fixes for Worrisome IRS Issues and Tax Debt
Psychological and Emotional Recovery from Debt
The Path to a Debt‐free Life
Debt Resources
Chapter 10: Damaged Credit
How to Understand What's on Your Credit Reports
How Your Credit Scores Are Calculated
What Causes Bad Credit
How Piggybacking Off Someone Else's Credit Can Help Your Credit
The Benefits of Using Secured Credit Cards
The Value of Adding Rent and Nontraditional Information to Your Credit Reports
How to Negotiate with Creditors
How to Achieve Perfect Credit
Initiating the Process: Getting Creditors to Collaborate
Damaged Credit Resources
Chapter 11: Dollar Deficits
No Warning and No Good Prospects
Noticing a Pattern Turns into Purpose
Dealing with Life's Blows
Creative Ways to Turbo‐charge Your Savings
A Rainy Day Fund Versus an Emergency Fund
Six Ways to Jump‐start Your Savings
What to Do If You're Approaching Retirement and Haven't Saved Enough
Strategies for Creating and Maintaining a Realistic Budget
Understand Four Important Rules of Budgeting
How to Create a Strong Financial Plan B
Dollar Deficit Resources
Chapter 12: Discrimination
How Discrimination Hurts Us All
All About Employment Discrimination and the Gender Pay Gap
Some Facts About Redlining and Mortgage and Housing Discrimination
My Experience with Appraisal Bias and the Appraisal Gap
Combating Housing Discrimination
An Understanding of Racial Discrimination and Its Financial Impact
Banking Deserts in Low‐income Neighborhoods
Why Age Discrimination Is Wrong and Its Financial Impact
All About Gender Discrimination, Shattering the Glass Ceiling, and the Pink Tax
Some Insights into LGBTQ+ Discrimination
Facts About Disability Discrimination and Financial Access
Promoting Disability Rights and Financial Inclusion
Five Strategies for Dealing with Discrimination
A Framework for Healing from Workplace Discrimination
Congratulations and an Invitation
Discrimination Resources
Research Resources
Introduction
Chapter 1: Resilience and Grit in the Face of Adversity, Transition, and Change
Chapter 2: Building Your Resilience
Chapter 3: Downsized from a Job
Chapter 4: Divorce
Chapter 5: Death of a Loved One
Chapter 6: Disability
Chapter 7: Disease
Chapter 8: Disasters
Chapter 9: Debt
Chapter 10: Damaged Credit
Chapter 11: Dollar Deficits
Chapter 12: Discrimination
Index
End User License Agreement
Guide
Cover Page
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Foreword
Introduction
Table of Contents
Begin Reading
Research Resources
Index
Wiley End User License Agreement
Pages
iii
iv
v
xxi
xxiii
xxiv
xxv
xxvi
xxvii
xxviii
xxix
xxx
xxxi
xxxii
xxxiii
xxxiv
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
50
51
52
53
54
55
57
58
59
60
61
62
63
64
65
66
67
68
69
70
71
72
73
74
75
76
77
78
79
80
81
82
83
84
85
86
87
88
89
90
91
92
93
94
95
96
97
98
99
100
101
103
104
105
106
107
108
109
110
111
112
113
114
115
116
117
118
119
120
121
122
123
124
125
126
127
128
129
130
131
132
133
134
135
136
137
138
139
140
141
142
143
144
145
146
147
148
149
150
151
152
153
154
155
156
157
158
159
160
161
162
163
164
165
166
167
168
169
170
171
172
173
174
175
176
177
178
179
180
181
182
183
184
185
186
187
188
189
190
191
192
193
194
195
196
197
198
199
200
201
202
203
204
205
206
207
208
209
210
211
212
213
214
215
216
217
218
219
220
221
222
223
224
225
226
227
228
229
230
231
232
233
234
235
236
237
238
239
240
241
242
243
244
245
246
247
248
249
250
251
252
253
254
255
256
257
258
259
260
261
262
263
264
265
266
267
268
269
270
271
272
273
274
275
276
277
278
279
280
281
282
283
284
285
287
288
289
290
291
292
293
294
295
296
297
298
299
300
301
302
303
Bounce Back
The Ultimate Guide to Financial Resilience
Lynnette Khalfani-Cox
Copyright © 2024 by Lynnette Khalfani‐Cox. All rights reserved.
Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.
Published simultaneously in Canada.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per‐copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, (978) 750‐8400, fax (978) 750‐4470, or on the web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748‐6011, fax (201) 748‐6008, or online at http://www.wiley.com/go/permission.
Trademarks: Wiley and the Wiley logo are trademarks or registered trademarks of John Wiley & Sons, Inc. and/or its affiliates in the United States and other countries and may not be used without written permission. All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners. John Wiley & Sons, Inc. is not associated with any product or vendor mentioned in this book.
Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Further, readers should be aware that websites listed in this work may have changed or disappeared between when this work was written and when it is read. Neither the publisher nor authors shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages.
For general information on our other products and services or for technical support, please contact our Customer Care Department within the United States at (800) 762‐2974, outside the United States at (317) 572‐3993 or fax (317) 572‐4002.
Wiley also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some content that appears in print may not be available in electronic formats. For more information about Wiley products, visit our web site at www.wiley.com.
Library of Congress Cataloging‐in‐Publication Data is Available:
ISBN 9781394205165 (Hardback)
ISBN 9781394205172 (ePub)
ISBN 9781394205189 (ePDF)
Cover Design: Paul McCarthy
Cover Image: Getty Images: © Maria Toutoudaki
To my sister, Debby. Losing you has been the most painful emotional challenge of my life.
While I try to bounce back every day, I will always miss you and love you—forever.
Acknowledgments
I'm incredibly grateful to a host of people who have supported me in various ways, inspired me, and made this book possible. To my husband, Earl: you are such a bedrock of security, stability, and happiness for me. When I think of all the things you've had to endure and bounce back from, I am in awe of your strength and character. I adore and appreciate you beyond measure, honey. To my parents, Lucille and Michael: thank you for doing your best and pouring good values, plus a love of God, into me and my sisters. To my siblings: Cheryl, Debby (RIP), Denise, Hope, and Tiffany: you are each so special and precious to me in your own way. I love you. To my sister‐friends—from the fabulous LaTrice V. to the phenomenal Bali Chicks (you know who you are!)—I cherish your friendship and the way each of you consistently demonstrates the value of sisterhood. Lord knows we've all been through things. Yet despite our respective struggles and challenges, you all possess a rare combination of grace, grit, and determination that is so admirable. Let's hang onto that—and to each other. To my children: Aziza, Jakada, and Alexis: know that I love you more than words can express. I am so very honored to be your mother and incredibly proud of each of you. My biggest wish is for your happiness. Finally, but definitely not least, a huge thank you to every person who allowed me to interview you for Bounce Back. To both the subject matter experts and those who are experts of their own lived experiences, I will forever appreciate your candor, time, and willingness to share. This book came alive thanks to your input and stories.
About the Author
Lynnette Khalfani‐Cox, The Money Coach®, is a personal finance expert, speaker, and author of numerous money‐management books, including the New York Times bestseller Zero Debt: The Ultimate Guide to Financial Freedom. Lynnette has been seen on more than 1,000 TV segments nationwide, including television appearances on Oprah, Dr. Phil, The Steve Harvey Show, Good Morning America, The TODAY Show, and many more. A former financial news journalist, Lynnette now co‐owns TheMoneyCoach.net LLC, a financial education company that she runs with her husband, Earl Cox. Together, they offer financial education consulting services, courses, and workshops.
As a subject matter expert on many personal finance topics—including credit and debt, saving and budgeting, paying for college, homeownership, and entrepreneurship and wealth building—Lynnette helps organizations of all kinds develop and roll out high‐quality financial literacy programs and campaigns. She also creates financial education curricula and provides strategic counsel to companies, nonprofits, government agencies, or educational institutions that want to launch financial content, products, services, apps, or other tools. For her financial literacy work, Lynnette was honored with the Muriel F. Siebert Lifetime Achievement Award by the New Jersey Coalition for Financial Education.
Before starting TheMoneyCoach.net in 2003, Lynnette was a Wall Street Journal reporter for CNBC, where she covered business and personal finance news. Lynnette spent nearly 10 years at Dow Jones & Co. Inc. working as a reporter, bureau chief, deputy managing editor, and personal finance editor. Prior to her work at Dow Jones, Lynnette was a correspondent for The Philadelphia Inquirer, a writer, and an assistant producer for WTXF (FOX‐TV) in Philadelphia, and a writer for the Associated Press in Los Angeles.
Lynnette earned her bachelor of arts degree in English from the University of California, Irvine. She also holds a master of arts degree in broadcast journalism from the University of Southern California as well as a certificate in FinTech (Financial Technology) from Cornell University. Lynnette is a native of Los Angeles who spent 20 years on the East Coast but now lives in the greater Houston area with her husband.
Other books Lynnette has written include:
The Bounce Back Workbook
Perfect Credit: 7 Steps to a Great Credit Rating
Your First Home: The Smart Way to Get It and Keep It
Investing Success: How to Conquer 30 Costly Mistakes & Multiply Your Wealth
The Money Coach's Guide to Your First Million
Zero Debt: The Ultimate Guide to Financial Freedom
Zero Debt for College Grads: From Student Loans to Financial Freedom
The Identity Theft Recovery Guide
College Secrets: How to Save Money, Cut College Costs, and Graduate Debt Free
College Secrets for Teens: Money Saving Ideas for the Pre‐College Years
Free Pre‐College Programs
Millionaire Kids Club Book 1: Garage Sale Riches
Millionaire Kids Club Book 2: Putting the ‘Do’ in Donate
Millionaire Kids Club Book 3: Home Sweet Home
Millionaire Kids Club Book 4: Penny Power
Foreword
In times of adversity and hardship, we often find ourselves searching for guidance, support, and a glimmer of hope to help us navigate the challenges that life throws our way. The COVID‐19 pandemic was undoubtedly one such period, testing our resilience, determination, and ability to bounce back from setbacks. It is during these moments that we need mentors and resources to provide us with the tools and inspiration to rise above our circumstances and find our way forward.
Lynnette Khalfani‐Cox, lovingly known as “The Money Coach,” has emerged as a beacon of light for individuals and families facing financial burdens, helping them overcome overwhelming debt and regain control of their lives. Her personal journey, which led her to pay off more than $100,000 of consumer debt, has become an inspiration to countless people seeking financial freedom and a fresh start. She has been a role model for me.
Now, in her latest book, aptly titled Bounce Back, Lynnette dives deep into the art of recovery, offering practical strategies, profound insights, and heartfelt encouragement to those who have experienced setbacks, especially during these trying times. This book is not just another self‐help resource; it is a lifeline for those in search of a road map to reclaim their lives and thrive.
One of the most captivating aspects of Bounce Back is Lynnette's ability to speak from personal experience. Her journey from overwhelming debt to financial success brings a relatability that few authors can replicate. She has walked the path of financial struggle and triumphed, making her insights invaluable for anyone hoping to do the same. Lynnette understands the emotional toll that life's various setbacks can take on us and uses her own story to show us that there is always a path forward.
Through her appearances on numerous television programs and her role as a keynote speaker at conferences, Lynnette has touched the lives of many, imparting her wisdom and empowering others to take charge of their financial destinies. In Bounce Back, she distills her knowledge into practical steps that can be applied by anyone willing to put in the effort. From strategies to recover from financial stress to moving beyond failed relationships, Lynnette offers a comprehensive toolkit to help readers regain control of their lives and build a solid foundation for their future.
Although Lynnette is known as “The Money Coach,” Bounce Back goes beyond mere financial advice. It delves into the emotional and psychological aspects of recovery, acknowledging that setbacks can leave deep wounds that need healing. Lynnette understands that true transformation requires addressing the underlying beliefs, fears, and mindset that may have contributed to our struggles. By combining financial guidance with introspective exploration, she provides a holistic approach to bouncing back, ensuring that readers not only improve their financial situations but also find inner strength and resilience.
While Bounce Back is undoubtedly a timely resource, tailored specifically for those who have been impacted by the pandemic and its aftermath, its teachings are timeless. Setbacks can occur at any point in life, and the wisdom within this book will stand as a compass for anyone facing adversity. Whether you're striving to recover from job loss, business failure, medical expenses, or simply seeking a fresh start, Lynnette Khalfani‐Cox's book will empower and equip you to rise above your circumstances.
In conclusion, Bounce Back is an essential resource for individuals and families searching for a way forward after experiencing setbacks. Lynnette Khalfani‐Cox's honest, compassionate, and practical approach will guide you through the process of rebuilding your life, offering hope and inspiration every step of the way.
Let this book serve as your companion, your confidant, and your road map to a brighter future. Embrace its teachings, apply its principles, and discover the power within you to bounce back stronger than ever before.
DeForest B. Soaries, Jr.
President and CEO of Corporate Community Connections, Inc., and founder of the dfree® Financial Freedom Movement
Introduction
“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”
—Nelson Mandela
Are you ready to transform your life and achieve financial security? Imagine a future where money matters are no longer a source of stress and worry but instead a gateway to stability and financial freedom. Picture yourself standing tall and resilient in the face of any setback that comes your way. Envision yourself thriving, not just surviving, in a world that often seems stacked against you. This is not a distant dream or an unattainable fantasy. It is within your reach, and I'd be honored to help guide you every step of the way. In the pages of Bounce Back: The Ultimate Guide to Financial Resilience, you are about to embark on an extraordinary journey of personal transformation and empowerment. Welcome to a world where your financial dreams finally become your reality, where setbacks are mere stepping stones to success and where resilience is your greatest asset.
Today, you stand at the threshold of a new beginning. Close your eyes for a moment and imagine a life free from the shackles of financial worries. Gone are the days of feeling overwhelmed by debt, living paycheck to paycheck, or being at the mercy of unexpected financial emergencies. I know this might be hard to picture, especially if you've gone through a recent life‐altering event or you're feeling like your finances are a wreck. Even if things aren't a complete financial mess, you probably could stand to improve certain aspects of your personal finances because let's face it: the majority of Americans have one or more money problems. Serious money problems.
Consumer debt is widespread—including mortgages, credit card bills, auto loans, and student loans. Then there's the issue of most Americans having little to no savings: not any emergency cash cushion or much, if anything, in the way of retirement savings. Credit problems are yet another financial challenge affecting plenty of adults in the United States. More than 40% of Americans surveyed by Lending Tree said bad credit caused them to be denied financial products such as mortgages and credit cards. With a poor credit rating, your car insurance premiums could also be higher, you can get turned down for that apartment you want to rent, and you may even lose out on a new job or career promotion you're seeking.
Speaking of work, wages haven't kept pace with inflation: most folks haven't received sizeable cost‐of‐living adjustments, and most employers have not been generous in doling out merit‐based pay raises.
Add it all up, and it's hard to make ends meet and to get ahead—especially since food, energy, education, and health care costs all continue to rise even when your paycheck doesn't.
In the middle of battling all these problems, you've probably been hit with a financial emergency or two, right? Maybe your car broke down recently, so you had to get a payday loan or whip out your Visa or MasterCard to get it fixed. Or perhaps somebody in your family has been sick, and now you've racked up huge medical bills. It's not just debt, of course, that might have put you in the hole. A slew of unexpected misfortunes or setbacks—from divorce to job loss—may have thrown your finances off‐kilter.
Well, I'm here to tell you that you're not alone—and you can recover from these setbacks.
In fact, I'm living proof that you can overcome personal adversity, even if you've had a string of bad luck or made various poor financial or personal decisions in the past.
My Story of Overcoming Financial and Personal Problems
You see, back in 2001, I had $100,000 in credit card debt. Yes, you read that right: I had six figures worth of credit card debt alone! Fortunately, I paid it all off in three years, and I never missed a single payment. In late 2004, I wound up writing a book about how I got out of debt, and it became a New York Times bestseller. That book is called Zero Debt: The Ultimate Guide to Financial Freedom. In the two decades since then, I've gone from debt to wealth and have written more than 15 personal finance books, including the one you're reading right now, Bounce Back: The Ultimate Guide to Financial Resilience.
Over the years, as I've built a seven‐figure net worth, I learned a lot about what it takes to recover from setbacks. Now I'm sharing my hard‐earned wisdom with you within these pages.
Bounce Back will show you, step‐by‐step, exactly how to recover from any of the 10 most common setbacks and scenarios that can ruin your finances. I call these 10 setbacks the “Dreaded Ds”—because they can be quite dreadful (and sometimes embarrassing) when you first encounter them.
The 10 Dreaded Ds you may face are:
D
ownsizing from a job;
D
ivorce;
D
eath of a loved one;
D
isability;
D
isease;
D
isasters (natural or man‐made);
D
ebt;
D
amaged credit;
D
ollar deficits (i.e. living check to check and lacking savings); and
D
iscrimination.
Chances are you, or someone you know, is in the throes of one of these challenges at this very moment. In fact, a majority of Americans struggle with these problems in any given year. According to research from Pew Charitable Trusts, 60% of US households face a “financial shock”—a large, unplanned expense or a reduction in income—in any given year. Some common sources of financial shocks include job loss, medical emergencies, major home maintenance costs, and more. These unexpected events can cause financial strain and lead to a cascade of other issues, such as accumulating debt, dipping into savings, or making difficult choices between essential expenses. The prevalence of financial shocks has become so bad that, in the wake of the COVID‐19 pandemic, the US government recognized a need to establish a federal initiative aimed at helping Americans better recover from disasters and other economic shocks. In December 2021, President Joe Biden signed Executive Order 14058, Transforming Federal Customer Experience and Service Delivery to Rebuild Trust in Government. That Executive Order led to the creation of nine “Life Experience” projects, providing a new model for how every agency of the federal government should better design and deliver benefits, services, and programs to Americans facing various life‐altering events. (I'll explain more about this critical, ongoing initiative in Chapter 8, which focuses on disaster recovery.)
For now, understand that this is precisely where this book comes in handy. Bounce Back will be your trusty guide to navigate the rough waters of these financial setbacks and identify existing and emerging sources of support. I'll walk you through each of the Dreaded Ds, sharing practical advice, actionable strategies, resources, and inspiring stories from people who've been in your shoes. By the time you finish this book, you'll have a clear sense of how to regain control of your finances—and your emotions—and build a solid foundation for your future.
Discrimination Can Damage Your Finances Too
Maybe some of you were surprised to see discrimination listed as one of the Dreaded Ds. You might not always think about it, but discrimination can hit you hard in the wallet—and be an emotional blow, too. For instance, imagine you're job hunting, and you're overlooked because of your age, race, gender, or sexual orientation. It's disappointing to be passed over. But that's also a missed opportunity for a stable income and career growth. Or picture yourself trying to rent a place to live, but landlords have a bias against you. You'd probably feel frustrated about having limited housing options, and you may have to pay higher rent as well. Even when shopping, you could face price discrimination, where certain products are marked up based on who's buying.
For example, the so‐called pink tax is a sneaky form of discrimination that takes a toll on women's finances. The pink tax refers to the extra amount women often pay for products and services that are pretty much the same as the ones men use—things such as razors, shampoo, or clothes. The only difference is these items are marketed to women, often in a lovely shade of pink. It might not seem like a big deal at first glance, but those extra dollars can add up fast. A New York City Department of Consumer Affairs study showed that women pay up to 13% more for personal care items and 8% more for clothing. Meanwhile, the California Senate Committee on Judiciary and Senate Select Committee on Women, Work & Families has found that Californian women pay an annual average of $2,381 more than men for the same goods and services. That works out to a pink tax of roughly $188,000 throughout a woman's life. Ouch! That's like a hidden tax just for being a woman. (Fortunately, lawmakers in both California and New York have now passed laws banning discriminatory gender‐based pricing in those states. However, there's still no federal law prohibiting the pink tax.)
Don't worry, though, there are ways to fight back against the pink tax and we'll tackle that in Chapter 12. But as you can see, discrimination isn't just about feelings; it can really affect your financial well‐being. Too often, however, financial experts (myself included) have doled out well‐intended advice designed to help people better manage their finances. But in nearly all cases, the ideas, strategies, and tips shared put the onus of improving squarely on the shoulders of the individual. Less frequently do we “experts” call out the systemic forces—including racism and various forms of discrimination—that make it hard for people to act, change, or put into practice the advice and solutions prescribed. Bounce Back addresses this reality.
Each chapter in Bounce Back focuses on one of the Dreaded Ds and reveals how you can financially, emotionally, and in some cases even physically recover from these situations—just like I have.
Would you believe that I've gone through nine of the 10 Dreaded Ds? It's true. I've been laid off from a good, high‐paying job. I've had horrible credit. I've had negative balances in my bank accounts and have been so broke that I had a car repossessed. I've been through a ridiculously costly divorce. Besides those exorbitant credit card bills I mentioned, I also spent more than 15 years paying off $40,000 worth of student loans. Like all of you reading this book, I battled the fallout from the COVID‐19 pandemic and natural disasters too. I've overcome obesity, high cholesterol, and being prediabetic. I've faced housing discrimination. Worst of all: I've endured the devastating loss of an older sister who passed away suddenly and way too soon.
Despite all these setbacks, I've managed to emerge stronger and thrive financially, emotionally, and physically too. So believe me when I say that I know—from both my personal experiences and my professional expertise—that a turnaround is always possible. It's not just me, of course, who has bounced back from adversity. Throughout Bounce Back, I'll tell you about plenty of people who have done so—including one woman who has experienced all 10 Dreaded Ds and yet is now thriving!
A Spiral of Success
I don't know what's going on in your life right now. But rather than feeling that you're in a downward economic spiral—kind of an unwanted financial freefall—wouldn't you love to turn things around too, and instead get into a staircase of recovery or a spiral of success? That's what happens when you create an environment in which you can layer good habits and solid financial practices one upon another. And when you change your past approach and mindset too.
But I recognize that change can sometimes be scary. It's also sometimes intimidating to put into practice even the best advice, especially when it may take you out of your comfort zone or what you've been accustomed to doing. Just take heart in knowing that you don't have to do everything I recommend all at once. Instead, if you'll just take it one day at a time and take action to build upon the positive, easy‐to‐follow steps I reveal, you'll immediately start to see a snowball of great economic results. With less financial stress, your emotional state will improve too.
Trust me: it can be done. I don't care if you've been struggling for months or years to get your finances on track. It doesn't matter if you've gone bankrupt, had a spouse that ruined your credit, or you've been sick and unable to work. Whatever troubles that have been ailing you, there are solutions and strategies to overcome your tribulations.
How to Use This Book: Faith, Finances, and Your Future
There are 12 chapters in Bounce Back. The first two chapters focus almost exclusively on your emotional well‐being. Chapter 1 explains what resilience is—including financial resilience, emotional resilience, social resilience, and physical resilience. Chapter 2 highlights 10 core action steps you'll need to take to build your resilience and recover emotionally from any of the Dreaded Ds. I firmly believe that without the right emotional preparation and mindset, you won't be able to fully implement the financial steps needed to gain economic security. Chapters 1 and 2 of Bounce Back are also designed to help those of you who have picked up The Bounce Back Workbook, the companion to this book, to better customize my advice and put it into action based on your unique circumstances. The Bounce Back Workbook is chock full of exercises and activities that will allow you to reflect on your past and current money behaviors and beliefs and take action to bring about a more secure future.
In writing Bounce Back and The Bounce Back Workbook, ensuring your financial stability isn't my only goal. I also want to empower you, help you begin to heal from prior personal or financial traumas, and aid you in recognizing and breaking any unhealthy patterns you may have developed (consciously or unconsciously) that are associated with your personal finances.
That's a pretty tall order. So I'm not going to handle this task alone, based solely on my own experiences and knowledge. I'm also going to share with you the wisdom I've learned from a lot of different financial experts: including other money coaches, financial therapists, certified financial planners, psychologists, and others. Furthermore, within each topic or each Dreaded D, I've also tapped the expertise of specialists who work in those areas, as well as everyday people who've lived through these setbacks—and successfully overcome their challenges. Ultimately, you'll get the benefit of a range of professionals and lay people who offer tried‐and‐true advice—as well as some unique and little‐known strategies—to get you on the road to recovery. By the time you're done, you'll see that Bounce Back and The Bounce Back Workbook are loaded with helpful advice, tips, nuts‐and‐bolts strategies, and practical activities that help you rebound economically and emotionally from each of the Dreaded Ds described.
After the two opening chapters, each successive chapter of Bounce Back covers one of the 10 Dreaded Ds in specific detail. Since Chapters 3 through 12 of Bounce Back are each devoted to a particular financial setback, once you read the first two chapters, you can jump right to the chapter describing the problem that has been plaguing you, if desired.
However, having coached so many people working their way out of financial jams, I know that money issues tend to be layered and interconnected. So regardless of your economic dilemma(s), I'd encourage you to also read this book from cover to cover. Furthermore, even if you aren't struggling with a particular Dreaded D right now, reading this information may help you assist someone you know who's facing that challenge. Above all: don't skip the final two chapters, which are devoted to stretching your dollars, saving money, and planning for emergencies—as well as battling the structural inequality and systemic forces that make it difficult for many people (especially women and people of color) to get ahead. The strategies I'll share in the final two chapters will also help you avoid or minimize the impact of any future Dreaded Ds you may experience. Believe me: this information can transform your financial life!
I should also say that, as a Christian, I've been blessed in so many ways: not just financially but also spiritually, emotionally, and personally with a wonderful marriage and great kids, not to mention an awesome career as well. You don't have to be a Christian, or a person of faith, as I am, to benefit from the lessons imparted in Bounce Back. But at the very least, you do need to have some faith in yourself. You should have faith that things can turn around, faith that tomorrow can be brighter, and faith that your future isn't hopeless—no matter what you've been through or been told.
Without hope, a positive outlook, and a belief in what's possible, you'll never be fully motivated to dig yourself out of the financial pit you might be in, and you'll never be sufficiently inspired to act. It's action, at the end of the day, that is necessary to launch your financial comeback. Nobody ever turned around his or her finances by wallowing in self‐pity. And certainly, no one ever achieved economic comfort or security by pointing the finger and playing the blame game, or just living a life of regret and constantly stewing over this or that mistake.
Your setbacks or mistakes—whether personal, financial, career‐based, or otherwise—are now in the past. There's no point in looking in the rearview mirror when what you really want to do is bounce back, go forward, and get on the road to financial freedom.
Listen, you survived the global COVID pandemic, and everything else life has thrown at you, right? So, from this moment forward, look ahead to your future and not back to the past. Be firm in your conviction that today is the start of your financial awakening. It's a new day and the start of a new financial life for you. Instead of living on the brink of an economic meltdown, you're about to bounce back: stronger, better, wiser, and yes, more financially and emotionally secure, than ever.
Let's get started!
Chapter 1Resilience and Grit in the Face of Adversity, Transition, and Change
“Adversity will come, but the real test is in how you bounce back, and use the lessons learned to become even better.”
—Serena Williams
Ever since I was a young kid, I've loved watching professional sports. From basketball, tennis, and gymnastics, to boxing, football, track, and more—I love seeing elite athletes compete. I'm the kind of fan who yells at the TV screen and jumps up and down when my team or favorite athlete wins or scores. But I know I can be a little over‐the‐top too. I've been known to startle other people or get a hoarse voice when the action gets good or something explosive happens on the field or court and I suddenly burst out screaming or cheering during a match. Admittedly, I sometimes drive my family (and even my dogs) crazy with my boisterous antics. But I just really connect with top performers putting it all on the line and going all out to do whatever it takes to get to victory.
I've realized, though, that I don't get hyped up just because I'm watching my favorite athletes get the “W,” or the win. What I'm often drawn to is their determination—the way many high‐performing sports figures are larger‐than‐life personalities who just won't quit. They fight against all odds and persevere even when they're down for the count and it looks as if they can't possibly win. I guess that's why, even as a kid, I loved the Rocky Balboa movies, starring Sylvester Stallone. I was just eight years old when the original Rocky film came out. Yet, I can still clearly see Rocky running through the streets of Philly and up the steps near the Philadelphia Museum, arms above his head after he triumphantly made it to the top. Later, when Rocky II came out, I raised my 10‐year‐old little fists to cheer Rocky again, as he hoisted the gold championship belt above his head and told his wife one of the most iconic lines in sports movie history: “Yo, Adrian … I did it!”
Those were movies, of course, but in real life, top athletes seem to always find a way to dig deep and pull off similar, memorable victories—they have the resilience to bounce back from incredible setbacks and adversity.
Maybe you've heard of pro surfer Bethany Hamilton. When she was just 13, Bethany was bitten by a 14‐foot‐long tiger shark, and it took her whole left arm. Luckily, she was with friends, who rescued her. But the shark attack still caused her to lose 60% of her body's blood by the time she made it to the hospital. After that kind of trauma, most people would've just quit surfing. Not Bethany. She was back on her surfboard only a month later! She taught herself how to surf one‐armed, and eventually, she became a professional surfer. Bethany even went on to win national titles, and she's still crushing it on the waves today.
Or take Peyton Manning, the NFL legend. This guy was a megastar quarterback when he suffered a neck injury on the football field that required multiple surgeries, including procedures to repair herniated discs. Some folks were like, “That's it. He's done.” But Manning showed them! He had already spent 14 seasons with the Indianapolis Colts. He sat out the 2011 season, rehabbed like a boss, and then made an epic comeback with the Denver Broncos (one of my former favorite teams, way back when John Elway was their quarterback). Because of his injuries, Manning literally had to learn how to throw the football again during his rehab. Nonetheless, Manning led the Broncos to two Super Bowls, winning one of them at age 37, and breaking a bunch of records along the way. Manning truly showed us that, with resilience, there's no challenge too big to overcome.
The Drive: A Famous Sports Comeback
And speaking of John Elway, I'm old enough to remember “The Drive”—which is often called one of the most famous comebacks in NFL history. The year was 1987, and it was the AFC Championship Game between the Cleveland Browns and the Denver Broncos. The stage was set at Cleveland's Municipal Stadium, and it was an intense, nail‐biting game. With just five minutes and 32 seconds left on the clock, the Broncos were down 20‐13, and things weren't looking too hot for them. But then, something magical happened. Elway, the Broncos quarterback, stepped up and led his team on a legendary 98‐yard drive, starting from their own 2‐yard line. The pressure was on, and the odds were stacked against them. The crowd of nearly 80,000 fans in Cleveland was deafening, and the weather was freezing. However, Elway didn't let that get to him.
He masterfully orchestrated a series of plays, completing crucial passes and even running the ball himself when needed. The Broncos moved methodically down the field, converting on key third downs, and keeping the drive alive. With just 37 seconds left, Elway threw a five‐yard touchdown pass to Mark Jackson, tying the game at 20‐20. You could feel the energy in the air—this was a comeback for the ages! The game went into overtime, and the Broncos were unstoppable. They marched down the field once more, setting up a game‐winning field goal by Rich Karlis. The kick was good, and the Broncos won 23‐20, securing their spot in Super Bowl XXI. Football fans still talk about “The Drive” to this day because it's such a great testament to Elway's grit, leadership, and never‐say‐die attitude.
It's also a powerful reminder that even when the odds are against you, with determination, skill, and resilience, nearly anything is possible. I realize, of course, that you're probably not an NFL player or a pro athlete. Nonetheless, when things look bleak, it's worth it to keep your head in the game and keep pushing forward. You never know when your own “Drive” moment might come—perhaps when you least expect a turnaround!
As you can see, each of the incredible athletes mentioned earlier battled adversity but managed to demonstrate incredible amounts of resilience and emerge victorious. Wouldn't you like to be able to have the same kind of resilience and grit? Let's start by examining how you perceive adversity—and particularly, transition and change.
Understanding the Value of Transition and Change
Some disruptions to our lives are downright awful and unnerving when they hit. Maybe you've just lost your job, experienced the death of a loved one, are going through a divorce, or trying to get out of a boatload of debt. Whatever situation you're facing, these adversities are undeniably hard to cope with, and it can feel as if your life has been upended. In the middle of your circumstance, perhaps you've been focused primarily on what's changed in your life. Especially what's different, what's missing, or what's difficult. If you've been dwelling on what's changed—in your language, your actions, and your thoughts—I honestly can't blame you. You're doing what nine out of 10 people in your shoes would probably do. Very few of us have been provided with the tools and perspectives to have an alternative view of hardship other than this is horrible (or unfair, or stressful), and I want this mess to be over as soon as possible!
So I want to first invite you to adopt a different mindset and reframe your thinking about life's challenges. You may not believe it at this point, but for now, just try to keep an open mind about the following assertion: bouncing back from any setback is far more manageable—and even life‐enhancing—when we view the Dreaded Ds not just as harsh changes we have to deal with, but also as crucial transitions or periods of positive transformation in our lives.
This concept originated with William Bridges and his theory of transition and change, which he developed in 1979. According to Bridges, who was an expert on change and a business consultant, when change happens, people have to navigate personally and psychologically over three stages: ending, neutral zone, and new beginnings.
The first stage is the ending, which is where you may be right now. You've experienced a loss or a significant change, and you're likely feeling a sense of grief or loss over what you're leaving behind. This could be a job, a relationship, or even a cherished way of life. Letting go of things that we were accustomed to having is never easy. You may feel demoralized, dejected, or just flat‐out disengaged from life at this stage, which is natural and to be expected.
Once you've acknowledged the loss and decided to let go, you move into the neutral zone. This is a period of exploration and learning. You might feel lost as you're preparing for something new, but you don't yet know what it is. It might feel like you're in a state of limbo, but this stage is crucial for your growth and transition. You're not only learning new things but also creating new processes as you head toward new beginnings.
Finally, there's the stage of new beginnings. As you explore new ways of being, you develop new understandings, personal values, relationships, and beliefs. You'll begin to see a different future for yourself, one that's infused with excitement, energy, optimism, and positivity about what's to come. This stage represents the rebuilding of your life, the reestablishing of your identity, and the reinvigoration of your morale and engagement.
The Bridges Model of Transition and Change is centered on the concept of transition rather than the idea of change. While these two terms may seem synonymous, they differ in one significant way: with the Bridges framework, change is an external event or situation—something that happens to you. Change occurs regardless of your acceptance or refusal of it. By contrast, transition is an internal process; it's something that happens within you. Transition is a psychological journey you undertake in response to change. Unlike change, which can be abrupt and swift, transition tends to be a more gradual process, taking place over a longer period of time, typically many months or even years. You have the ability to choose how long it takes. Think of transition as your way of processing, or coping with, change. Transition is your unique way and time spent internally coming to terms with an external change that's occurred.
The Bridges Model first made its appearance in Bridges's 1979 book, Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes. Over time, Bridges, along with his business partner and spouse, Susan Bridges, revised and republished the work several times. The 1991 publication, Managing Transitions, showcased how the model could be effectively utilized in the workplace and professional settings. After William's passing in 2013, Susan further expanded on the model's applications.
The Upside of Your Transition and Stress
Fast‐forward to today, and financial experts have recognized the need for an additional stage: planning for transition. Most notably, the Sudden Money Institute was founded in June 2000 to help financial planning clients going through transition better handle the personal side of money. This think tank created the Certified Financial Transitionist® (CeFT®) designation, and a division for training and certification called the Financial Transitionist® Institute. Many financial planners who serve as financial transitionists say the Bridges transition model is foundational to understanding personal change. It provides a road map for navigating through the maze of emotions, confusion, and frustrations that often accompany significant life events or disruptions. Transitions are not easy, but they do always have an upside: they lead to new ways of doing or being, helping you to grow and adapt to your new circumstances. And that's not all. Susan Bradley, CEO and founder of Sudden Money Institute, created the Sudden Money Institute Transitions Journal, in which she notes: “Change almost always brings with it some level of stress, and there's the big danger: somewhere along the way, stress got a really bad name. But we don't believe stress is necessarily negative. Here are just three things stress has going for it:
Stress helps you build resilience.
Stress helps you identify what really matters in your life.
Stress gives you an opportunity to turn a challenge into a positive personal transformation (Bradley, 2019, p. 4).
Stephanie Genkin, CFP®, the founder of My Financial Planner, LLC, and a Brooklyn‐based fee‐only registered investment advisor agrees. “The old model of thinking is that all stress is bad,” she says. “But the new thinking says some stress is really positive: in that stress is also possibility.” That's why Genkin, who is also a Certified Financial Transitionist, poses this question to people facing adversity: “Is life happening to you, or is life happening for you?”
“We tend to look at things like the Dreaded Ds as bad luck. But nobody goes through life without having some of these events happen,” Genkin says. “About 25% of our lives will be spent in transition,” Genkin adds. “So everybody should be preparing themselves to see what your capacity is for dealing with this.”
Genkin speaks from both personal and professional experience. She lost both her parents within a relatively short time frame, with her mother passing last, in 2022. Both losses were devastating, but her mom's death really cut deep. Genkin was extremely close to her mother, speaking to her every night on the phone at 10 p.m., and visiting often with her. “The source of my confidence was my mom,” Genkin says, citing many key moments in her life from childhood through adulthood when her mother told her she could do anything—including starting her financial planning business. “She was very invested in everything I did,” Genkin recalls.
After her mom's death, Genkin went to therapy for eight straight weeks and also started attending group grief counseling. She got so involved that she's now running the grief counseling group. Additionally, she participates every Thursday afternoon in a Jewish positive psychology group. “This is grounding for me, to have a Jewish expression of my mourning,” Genkin says. “I also get resources, books, guidance, and encouragement in just knowing that I'm not alone in this.”
“We're all going to go through painful transitions,” she adds.
Ultimately, Genkin says that successfully navigating the Dreaded Ds boils down to a few things: planning for various life phases and transitions, accepting and figuring out how to embrace even life's messiest or toughest events, and being willing to learn the positive lessons that change teaches you.
Perhaps that's why the Sudden Money Institute says of its mission: “We make financial transitions less stressful, more productive, and frequently enjoyable.”
Even if you cannot (yet) fathom the idea of your transition being “enjoyable,” take comfort in knowing that whether the change you experienced came about by choice or by chance, there's a distinct pattern for how we all internalize and respond to major life transitions. And while your timeline for going through each stage won't be the same as the next person's, the features and obstacles of the stages are quite consistent and predictable. Based on its practitioners' expertise in helping people get through life challenges, the Sudden Money Institute has defined four stages of transition: anticipation, ending, passage, and new normal. These echo Bridges's stages, with an added stage of anticipation or planning for major life events.
Stage 1: Anticipation.
This is a period of foreseeing or looking ahead to a significant change or event. Note that not all change events are unhappy ones. For example, someone might be selling a business, receiving a financial windfall, or getting married. But it's the new, unknown aspect of the phase ahead that often sparks a mix of excitement, anxiety, and uncertainty.
Stage 2: Ending.
This stage involves recognizing that a certain aspect of life—or perhaps a life itself, in the case of death—has ended. Other examples of endings include the termination of a relationship, career, or a lifestyle. The ending stage is definitive, and there's no going back.
Stage 3: Passage.
During this stage, the initial shock of the change has worn off, and you start adapting to the new situation. This stage involves letting go of old ideas about life and exploring new ones. It's a transitional stage toward the new normal and tends to be the longest of the stages. But “passage is also the realm of possibility,” Genkin notes. “Passage is also the point where you're starting to think about and hopefully reconstruct your narrative.”
Stage 4: New Normal.
At this stage, you have fully integrated the event that initiated the transition into your life. You have accepted the event as part of your personal history, but you talk about it in the past tense, and it doesn't singularly define you. This stage signifies that you have arrived at the best possible outcome, given the circumstances.
How typical is it for the average American to go through one of these transition stages? When I interviewed Genkin for Bounce Back, she told me that she decided to become a Certified Financial Transitionist after having an epiphany about the people she was helping. “I realized every single one of my clients was either coming out of a transition, preparing for one, or in the middle of one,” she said.
Defining and Developing Resilience
Now that we understand how commonplace transitions are, let's turn our attention to helping you become more equipped to navigate any transition and bounce back from change. The subtitle of this book is The Ultimate Guide to Financial Resilience. But what exactly is resilience? More specifically, what is financial resilience? How do you know if you have it? And if you don't, how can you develop it? Additionally, how can other forms of resilience help us to become more financially resilient?
We can learn a lot about resilience based on what psychologists teach us about healthy ways to handle challenging circumstances.
