Brian Clough - The Greatest Stories
Frank Palmer© Copyright 2023 Frank Palmer
ContentsIntroductionThe StoriesIntroductionBrian
Clough was an iconic figure in British football. After his career as a
footballer ended aged 29 in 1964, Clough started a very successful
managerial career. Clough won the title at Derby County, had a famous
44 day stint at Leeds United before managing Nottingham Forest where he
won the European cup twice. During his managerial career Clough
was always entertaining with his managerial skills and often
controversial actions and statements on football. Enjoy the colourful world of Brian Clough with this selection of wonderful stories about the great man.The Stories“When Glenn Hoddle was going on about karma, I thought he’d arranged a friendly against a club side in Sri Lanka.”
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“We
liked a soft pitch. I used to water ours more than the groundsman. Half
the time nobody knew I was doing it because I went back at night.”
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On buying a cooker on joining Nottingham Forest:“The cooker the club had was knackered. I nearly picked it for the bloody team because it was better than most of the squad.”
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On Victoria Beckham:“He doesn’t need a coach to play football but she does to sing. She’s nowhere near as good at her job as her husband.”
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“You
know why Peter Shilton is built like a brick shithouse – it’s nothing
to do with bodybuilding, it’s from carrying around all that money I pay
him.”
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On football agents:“The only agent back then was James Bond and he only shafted women - not entire football clubs.”
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Son Nigel Clough in 2021:“He
[Brian Clough] would have been very dismayed by what has happened
to football in the last 20-odd years with greed being the overriding
factor. Football has changed immeasurably since the Premier League,
especially with elitism and the lower division clubs."
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“If
anyone should be grateful for their upbringing, for their mum and dad,
I'm that person. I was the kid who came from a little part of paradise,”
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On his Brighton team’s 4-0 FA Cup defeat to Walton and Hersham.“I’ve lost to a team that sounds like a firm of solicitors.”
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“Can
you imagine any other profession where NOT doing something makes you
better at it? It’s ridiculous. A pianist learns to play by
spending hours at the keyboard.’ – on players being asked to run
around, rather than practice with the ball.”
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On women’s football:“I
like my women to be feminine, not sliding into tackles and getting
covered in mud.’ – on the rise in popularity of women’s football.”
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“If
a player had said to Bill Shankly ‘I’ve got to speak to my agent,’ Bill
would have hit him. And I would have held him while he hit him!”
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“Most injuries these days are caused by players’ money belts slipping.”
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“I’ve dropped off to sleep long before Sven Goran Eriksson has finished droning on. There’s more emotion in a dead reindeer.”
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“When I read some of the stuff Glenn Hoddle came out with, I didn’t know whether to reach for the dictionary or a calculator.”
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“I don’t speak foreign languages. I find F*** off is understood by pretty much anyone.”
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“Trevor
Brooking was upset me because I adapted one of Ali’s phrases about him.
I said he floated like a butterfly and tackled like one. He asked me
why I’d said it and I said ‘Because it’s true.’’
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“I felt something worse than misery at Leeds. I was desolate.”
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“Trevor Francis should have advertised instant coffee because he was an instant footballer.”
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On a new England kit in the 70s:“It’s
bullshit. A Rolls Royce is always a Rolls Royce and it’s the same with
the England strip. There’s no need to mess about with it’ – on garish
new Admiral England strip.”
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“Can that young Wayne Rooney live with all the hype? If he’s as thick as I think he is – yes!”
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During his football career, Clough scored 18 hat-tricks.
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“I’ve found generally in life that people who say ‘money isn’t everything’ have loads of it.”
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"90 percent of football club chairmen bring the game into disrepute."
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On player Des Walker moving from Nottingham Forest to Sampdoria: