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- Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
- Kategorie: Ratgeber
- Serie: In A Day For Dummies
- Sprache: Englisch
Become an effective communicator and create rapport with ease Building Rapport with NLP In a Day provides you with all the tools you need to make and break rapport and communicate effectively. Designed to contain a day's reading, this handy guide explains how Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) skills can help you to use the power of your senses to see, hear and feel your way to better communication, and gain insight into how different people think. Open the book and find: * How different people communicate * How to recognise what people are thinking from their language choices * Ways to tell that somebody is lying to you * How to improve your ability to say 'no' * Tips for getting people to listen to you
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Seitenzahl: 98
Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2012
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Building Rapport with NLP In A Day For Dummies®
Table of Contents
Building Rapport with NLP In A Day For Dummies®
by Romilla Ready and Kate Burton
Building Rapport with NLP In A Day For Dummies®
Published byJohn Wiley & Sons, LtdThe AtriumSouthern GateChichesterWest SussexPO19 8SQEngland
Copyright © 2012 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd, Chichester, West Sussex, England
Published by John Wiley & Sons, Ltd, Chichester, West Sussex, England
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British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data: A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
ISBN 978-1-118-38030-7 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-118-38031-4 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-118-38032-1 (ebk)
Introduction
Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) is one of the most sophisticated and effective methodologies currently available to help you communicate effectively. NLP centres on communication and change. These days everybody needs the skills to develop personal flexibility. Tricks and gimmicks aren’t enough: everyone needs to get real.
Your ability to do anything in life – whether swimming the length of a pool, cooking a meal or reading this book – depends on how you respond to the stimuli on your nervous system. Therefore, much of NLP is devoted to discovering how to think and communicate more effectively within yourself and with others.
Here’s how the term Neuro-linguistic Programming breaks down:
Neuro concerns your neurological system. NLP is based on the idea that you experience the world through your senses and translate sensory information into thought processes, both conscious and unconscious. Thought processes activate the neurological system, which affects physiology, emotions and behaviour.
Linguistic refers to the way you use language to make sense of the world, capture and conceptualise experience, and communicate that experience to others. In NLP, linguistics is the study of how the words you speak and your body language influence your experience.
Programming draws heavily from learning theory and addresses how you code or mentally represent your experiences. Your personal programming consists of your internal processes and strategies (thinking patterns) that you use to make decisions, solve problems, learn, evaluate and get results. NLP shows you how to recode your experiences and organise your internal programming so you can get the outcomes you want.
What You Can Do in a Day
As part of the In A Day For Dummies series, we’ve designed this book to contain about a day’s reading (or a couple of days if you’re taking your time). We focus on some of the key skills and the mindset required to build rapport with NLP – all of which can be easily digested in a day. You should have enough information to be able to apply your new-found understanding of rapport-building immediately.
Foolish Assumptions
We make a few assumptions about you. We assume that you’re a normal human being who wants to be happy. You’re probably interested in learning and ideas. You may have heard the term NLP mentioned, you may already work with the concepts, or perhaps it’s just new and intriguing for you. You need no prior knowledge of NLP, but this book is for you if any of the following ring a bell:
You’d like to develop your ability to engage with others in any situation.
You’re curious about how you can influence others ethically and easily.
You’re interested in how to take your living experience to new levels of achievement, happiness, adventure and success.
Icons Used in This Book
The icons in this book help you to find particular kinds of information that may be of use to you.
This icon highlights NLP terminology that may sound like a foreign language and which has a precise meaning in the NLP field.
This icon suggests ideas and activities to give you practice of NLP techniques and food for thought.
This icon contains practical advice to put NLP to work for you.
This icon indicates real-life experiences of NLP in action. Some are real, some people have had their names changed and others are composite characters.
This icon marks extra NLP skills and information at this book’s companion website at www.dummies.com/go/inaday/buildingrapportwithnlp.
Chapter 1
Pushing the Communication Buttons
In This Chapter
Discovering the NLP communication model
Taking total responsibility for any interaction
Understanding how others communicate
Communicating effectively
Disengaging your emotions and focusing on your results
When you’re engaged in a dialogue, for what percentage of the communication do you think you’re responsible? Did you say 50 per cent? After all, two people are involved in a dialogue, so logically each of you has half the responsibility to make and elicit responses, right?
An NLP presupposition is a generalisation about the world. You may like to think of it as an assumption; an assumption which, if you practise and adopt it, could help to ease your journey through life.
If you were familiar with the following NLP presuppositions, you’d reply that you’re 100 per cent responsible because:
The meaning of the communication is the response it elicits. No matter how honourable the intentions of your communications, the success of the interaction depends on how the listener receives the message, not on what you intend. In other words, the response that your words elicit is the meaning of your communication.
If what you’re doing isn’t working, do something different. Remember that not everyone has your internal resources; the very fact that you’re reading this book means that you’re showing initiative in making changes in your life. We suggest that you’re going to expend a lot less energy in changing yourself than struggling to have other people conform to your ideals.
The person with the most flexibility within a system influences the system. Inflexibility traps you. You may find yourself batting the same point of view back and forth; ending in a stalemate. When you keep your thinking and behaviour flexible, you engage in a dance; as you change your stance, your ‘partner’ follows. It gives you greater control and increases your choices by opening up more possibilities.
This chapter shows you how to take total responsibility for any communication in which you’re involved. We provide tools to help you become more aware of how the people with whom you’re communicating are transforming what they receive through their senses: what they hear you say and what they see and feel. When you understand their thinking process, you have the means to adapt your words, deeds and actions to get the response you want.
What you intend to communicate isn’t necessarily the message that the recipient understands.
Introducing the NLP Communication Model
The NLP communication model is based on cognitive psychology and was developed by Richard Bandler and John Grinder, the co-creators of NLP.
According to the NLP communication model, when people behave in a certain way (their external behaviour), a chain reaction is set up within you (your internal response), which in turn causes you to respond in some way (your external behaviour), which then creates a chain reaction within the other person (their internal response), and the cycle continues. Figure 1-1 shows this chain reaction.
Figure 1-1: The circle of communication.
The internal response is made up of an internal process (consisting of self-talk, pictures and sounds) and an internal state (the feelings that are experienced).
The following sections present two scenarios, showing the NLP communication model in practice.
Scenario 1
