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- Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
- Kategorie: Fachliteratur
- Sprache: Englisch
Porchlight Business Book Award nominee, Leadership & Strategy
A timely and incisive resource for business leaders and people managers struggling with complacency and burnout in this rapidly evolving world of work
Facing the challenges of global cultural, commercial, political, and technological shifts, managers are in dire need of strategies to move from survival to revival.
Burnt Out to Lit Up: How to Reignite the Joy of Leading People by Daisy Auger-Domínguez illuminates the often overlooked and difficult aspects of management and offers a lifeline for managers struggling to adapt and thrive. Crafted by a seasoned executive with experience at companies like Disney, Google, and VICE Media, this book delivers a rich blend of inspiration and practical tools for today's managers.
Through a compelling mix of personal anecdotes, research-backed insights, and actionable strategies, Auger-Domínguez walks business leaders and people managers down a path designed to reignite the passion and drive necessary for effective leadership. This book is for you if your work life leaves you seeking:
- Rest, inspiration, and a renewed enthusiasm for your work
- Techniques to help managers understand themselves, each other, and the members of their teams
- Strategies for dealing with, and helping your teams deal with, unexpected and dramatic workplace upheavals - be they layoffs, organizational shifts, financial restructurings, global health crises, and more
- Tactics to reignite your own passion for your role and share your enthusiasm with your teams in an approach that motivates and uplifts
Whether you're leading a small team or an entire organization, this book is the roadmap you need to overcome obstacles, re-energize your leadership, and achieve new levels of success. Discover how to transform your approach to management and create a more engaged, motivated, and thriving workplace with Burnt Out to Lit Up.
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Seitenzahl: 361
Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024
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Table of Contents
Cover
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Introduction
Here We Go
Leaders and Managers
Who Makes a Good Manager?
So What Can Managers Do About Burnout on Their Teams?
Why This Book, and Why Now
What Are You in For?
PART I: Recognizing the Fires
1 Where There’s Smoke, There’s Fire: Recognizing the Signs of Burnout
Breaking Down Burnout: Where There’s Smoke There’s Fire
My Burnout Story
What Are the Signs of Burnout?
Why Workplace Burnout Matters
Burnout Risk Factors
So What About Managers?
What’s a Manager to Do?
Women and People of Color: What’s Seen and Unseen
Let the Sparks Fly: How We Grow
PART II: Navigating the Flames
2 Show Up: How to Manage Multiple Fires
The Fires of Managers’ Lives
Employee Crises
Operational Crises
Geopolitical Risks and Market Uncertainties
A Word About Crisis Management
Interpersonal Tensions
Messy Returns to Office
The Urgent Now
Let the Sparks Fly: How We Grow
3 The Hulk with Heart: Holding People (and Yourself) Through Your Rage
Look Out!: Why Managers Lose It
Righteousness: The Hidden Danger
Managing Diverse Teams in Hulk Mode
Navigating the Tricky Terrain of Emotions That Can Trigger Your Inner Hulk
Consumed by the Job
Mitigating Compassion Fatigue, Empathic Distress, and Burnout
Working Through Grief and Anger: Common Triggers for Your Inner Hulk
Burying the Pain to Get the Job Done
Lower the Temperature
Let the Sparks Fly: How We Grow
4 Real Talk: Release Your Hungry Ghosts
Hey There, Self: Long Time No See
Self-Care Like You Mean It
Say Thank You to the Good Stuff and to Yourself
Find Your Inner Silence
Leave It There
What Do You Truly Want?
Getting Unstuck Is the New Normal
Forgive Yourself and Others
What Is This Self-Forgiveness You Speak About?
Let the Sparks Fly: How We Grow
PART III: Leading Through an Inferno
5 Hang in There: Leading Through the Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Belonging Firestorm
DEI: Is It for Real?
Yes, You: How to Manage DEI When You Don’t Think You Know How
When the Urgency Is Clear But the Roadmap Ahead Is Not, You Build a Way
Continuing the Work Through Reckonings and Reversals
When We Mess Up
Social Issues and Internal Conflicts
The Uneven Workplace Journeys
Seeking to Understand Others Begins with Understanding Ourselves
The Universal Desire to Be Heard, Seen, and Valued Is Not Universally Experienced
Let the Sparks Fly: How We Grow
6 Find Awe at Work: How to Turn Your Work Nightmares into Epic Adventures
Embrace a Beginner’s Mindset
Find Your Harmony in the Hamster Wheel
What Lights You Up?
Embrace a Community Abundance Mindset
From Bad Meetings to Treasured Gatherings
Managing Conflict in the Workplace
Surviving the Boiling Pot Syndrome
Make Room to Learn from Others
Let the Sparks Fly: How We Grow
7 Get Right Within: Become the Manager Every Team Deserves
Getting Right Within
Women of Color and Burnout
Define the Manager You Want to Be
Sprinkle Gratitude and Joy Like Confetti
Find Your Why
Discover the Power of “Why”: Unleashing Positive Energy at Work
Build Your Refuge
Recharge by Pressing Pause
Mind Your Hara Hachi Bu Point
Seek Empathy
Embracing Resilience and Growth
Let the Sparks Fly: How We Grow
PART IV: Beyond Burnout
8 Beyond Burnout
The Burnout Cycle
Leading People Beyond Burnout
The Practice Before the Practice
Practice #1: Deepen Your Self-Awareness
Practice #2: Reframe Your Inner Scripts
Practice #3: Embrace Flow in Chaos
Practice #4 Fuel Your Light
Practice #5: Be Radically Human
Practice #6: Build Your Personal Pharmacy
Practice #7: Release Shame
Beyond Burnout
Notes
Chapter 1: Where There’s Smoke, There’s Fire: Recognizing the Signs of Burnout
Chapter 2: Show Up: Managing Multiple Fires
Chapter 3: The Hulk with Heart: Holding People (and Yourself) Through Rage
Chapter 4: Real Talk: Release Your Hungry Ghost
Chapter 5: Hang in There: Leading Through the Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Belonging Firestorm
Chapter 6: Find Awe at Work: How to Turn Your Work Nightmares into Epic Adventures
Chapter 7: Get Right Within: Becoming the Manager Every Team Deserves
Chapter 8: Beyond Burnout
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Index
End User License Agreement
Guide
Cover
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Introduction
Begin Reading
Notes
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Index
End User License Agreement
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DAISY AUGER-DOMÍNGUEZ
BURNT OUT TO LIT UP
HOW TO REIGNITE THE JOY OF LEADING PEOPLE
Copyright © 2024 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc. All rights reserved, including rights for text and data mining and training of artificial technologies or similar technologies.
Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.
Published simultaneously in Canada.
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Auger-Domínguez, Daisy, author.
Title: Burnt out to lit up : how to reignite the joy of leading people / Daisy Auger-Domínguez.
Description: Hoboken, New Jersey : Wiley, [2024] | Includes bibliographical references and index.
Identifiers: LCCN 2024006716 (print) | LCCN 2024006717 (ebook) | ISBN 9781394254293 (cloth) | ISBN 9781394254316 (adobe pdf) | ISBN 9781394254309 (epub)
Subjects: LCSH: Management—Psychological aspects. | Leadership—Psychological aspects. | Burn out (Psychology) | Job satisfaction.
Classification: LCC HD31.2 .A94 2024 (print) | LCC HD31.2 (ebook) | DDC 658.4/092—dc23/eng/20240530
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2024006716
LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2024006717
Cover Design: Paul McCarthyCover Image: © Getty Images | Seth Joel
To the managers committed to turning their burnout into light
Introduction
I remember when I loved my job, enjoyed going to work, and delighted in helping people through tough, strange, and rewarding experiences. But leading people while on the brink of burnout? Well that’s a whole other story.
On Monday, July 10, 2023, I was wrapping up emails before going to bed and came across an update from our communications team addressed to me, our co-CEOs, and legal counsel. It referred to the cash compensation of senior executives over the past year, disclosed in our Chapter 11 bankruptcy submission. We were warned of the onslaught of inevitable negative responses.
The email said, “People are talking.”
I didn’t dwell on it. Our bankruptcy process had been tumultuous, with information leaking from every conceivable source, accurate or not. This was, I figured, just another chapter in our messy story.
As I was transitioning from my role as Chief People Officer at Vice during its headline-grabbing bankruptcy process, my days were consumed with helping our team secure severance payments for laid-off employees—an issue that the bankruptcy courts had blocked for months. Facing the emotional toll and uncertainty this process had on employees was grueling for everyone, myself included. Vice’s public image took a backseat in my mind, and I was primarily concerned with the way these choices were impacting the employees I’d supported for three years.
However, following that email, a colleague told us that one of our journalists had turned to then-named-Twitter to reveal the salaries and bonuses of senior executives, including me, framing the amounts as a symbol of Vice’s declining moral and financial condition.
I read the tweet and sighed. I had grown desensitized to the ongoing drama.
Before going to sleep, I casually told my husband that our salaries had been leaked, shaking my head and saying, “I’ll deal with this tomorrow.” It was frustrating to have my private information exposed, but in the grand scheme of things, it was out in the open for everyone to see. Leaks had become synonymous with Vice.
The following morning, I woke up early and headed to the gym, checking my email during my subway ride, finding nothing of note. My daughter was away at camp, and my husband worked from home that day. It was another workday, with the hope of getting closer to solving a recurring task: sorting out the latest severance payment challenge.
However, I had yet to check social media.
As I rode the subway back home, my inbox flooded with emails from our co-CEOs asking, “What should we do about this?”
Uncertain, I began by examining social media, then delved into the hundreds of responses from the employee tweet.
My heart stopped.
Sure, there were tweets, but that was just the beginning.
My inbox and DMs became inundated with comments like “fuck off you hack” and demands to “pay people you worthless piece of shit.”
I had been trapped in a daily grind for months, executing painful layoffs while holding people through the aftermath of bankruptcy and battling to secure severance payments for laid-off employees. The mockery and contempt aimed at my compensation were misplaced and infuriating.
“¡Coño!”
I—someone who had spent my career building inclusive and equitable workplaces—was portrayed as heartlessly laying off hundreds of employees while pocketing extravagant bonuses.
Now, this wasn’t my first “Rising Above the Challenges: A Workplace Story.” As a Latina who defied the odds to rise to the executive ranks of some of the world’s most admired companies, I’ve often felt overlooked for my contributions and subjected to unwarranted scrutiny. I’ve been tasked with cleaning up the messes left behind by others, all while facing pressure to conform, downplay, and mute who I was.
I’ve also endured hurtful messages from colleagues, managers, and even right-wing extremists questioning my worth. In my senior leadership human resources role, I was often the go-between at the intersection of employees and leaders. Leader complaints and fears came to me. What employees couldn’t say directly to their managers or company leaders, they would say to me. I was the sounding board, and sometimes the punching bag—it came with the territory.
But this time was different. I was the target of a smear campaign, painted as a greedy, unethical executive.
Being the target of mobs who loathed me, instead of those responsible for this mess, was hard. Didn’t they know that I was just as fed up with this flawed system as they were?
I felt like I had been punched in the gut.
After years of guiding other people through organizational fires, I was the one who got burned. And one step closer to being burned out. Like, burnt crispy.
But here’s the thing.
As much as I wanted to throw up my hands and say “I quit!”, by staying and immersing myself in the discomfort and chaos, I met the leader I was destined to be.
As I made my way through the turmoil, I discovered the power within to lead people in the way I was truly meant to.
That’s why I want to help others, especially those entrusted with managing people, to free themselves from the weight of burnout, unending demands, tension, and chaos so that they may radiate a brighter light for others. (And feel good about themselves too!)
While the relentless attacks hurt, I sought refuge in others and opened myself up to the help that was generously offered. My husband’s steadfast love extended to managing my social media feeds and ensuring I didn’t skip meals. Reassuring texts appeared out of the blue, like the one from a friend, a high-profile white male attorney, who wrote, “No need for apologies. A white man wouldn’t apologize. You are worth every penny, and HR is not accountable for financial decisions.”
I knew this, but it was hard to embrace amid the noise. The questions gnawed at me: Would these allegations tarnish my reputation? Would I be shunned by colleagues or future employers? When would this end?
I turned to a communications crisis expert, who stressed the value of keeping a steady composure. Everyone was racing to say or report anything that would keep the drama alive. It felt like a twisted reality show where everyone wanted their moment in the spotlight. The time for telling my story would come, but for now, I needed space and time to unfold.
I knew this was the way to go. I’d doled out this counsel to dozens of leaders, mostly white men, over the years. But when you find yourself in the thick of such loathsome hostility, what you hunger for most is a healthy dose of grace.
Occasional moments of relief reminded me that this, too, would pass. However, sporadic texts from friends like “Are you holding up alright? I came across this…” swiftly reignited the anguish. “Ay, Daisy, take a deep breath. Come back to yourself,” I would tell myself.
I confronted the daily fury that became my shadow during the most demanding years of leading people as the top HR executive of a global media company. Over three grueling years, my role involved navigating our workforce through an unprecedented triad of crises—health, economic, and societal upheavals. Executing cost-saving layoffs while ensuring the respect and dignity of each impacted human intensified my sense of injustice. That summer, my heart went out to those who suffered because of our company’s bankruptcy, and the burden of guilt was overwhelming because I couldn’t change their circumstances.
I couldn’t shoulder that heavy load indefinitely. No one should.
Through the firestorm, I continued to do my job, advocating for employees and supporting my team, leaders, and managers through this latest crisis. I doubled down on empathy and compassion and became a one-woman persuasion machine for the rights of employees to voice their concerns. Despite weathering unfair personal attacks, I upheld my commitment to treating every employee with dignity and respect.
I know the feeling all too well—being engulfed by chaos and yet pressing on. And here’s what I’ve learned: As a leader, when you find yourself amid a raging fire without a clear escape route, you have no choice but to take that first step and lead yourself and your teams through the flames.
Here We Go
According to conventional wisdom, leaders are the architects of an organization’s overall tone, vision, and strategy, while managers transform these high-level ideas into practical steps. Both roles lead people, but managers are key in advancing tasks, initiatives, and products. Their effectiveness hinges on their ability to nurture their team’s talents, experiences, and well-being to meet goals.
Leaders and Managers
This book is dedicated to leaders who manage people in every aspect, bearing a significant share of responsibilities. Throughout the book, I’ll use “manager” as shorthand, emphasizing that in the modern workplace, the essence of management is fundamentally about leading people.
Everyone wants to manage people until they have to manage people. That’s my cheeky advice to those itching for leadership promotions before they’re ready.
Managers are in the trenches, day in and day out, with the most direct influence on how their teams experience the workplace, produce, and perform. When it comes to transforming an organization, the spotlight shines on the managers. They can play a part in creating either burnout-inducing work environments or nurturing spaces where employees thrive and find fulfillment and joy in their roles.
Great managers are more than just team leaders tasked with delivering results; they’re the fuel that drives motivation, commitment, and the perception of leadership within a company. Their influence stretches beyond their immediate team, shaping the organizational culture and instilling external confidence.
While you probably won’t find these specifics listed in the standard job requirements and qualifications section of a typical job description, here’s my take on the modern “must haves” for managers:
Strong sense of accountability and transparency, able to oversee both the well-being and productivity of teams
Excellent collaboration and communication skills with their teams, senior leadership, the public, peers, partners, vendors, investors, clients, and customers
Advanced diversity and inclusion skills, including demonstrated ability to increase racial representation; to inspire teams to rise above cancel culture, outdated organizational norms, social media backlash, and polarization; and to adjust practices to avoid backlash from stakeholders including employees, customers, boards, and investors
Strong understanding of how global social and economic upheaval impacts brands, external relationships, internal culture, project timelines, budgets, financial performance, and stock market performance
Ability to understand people in all of their complexity and advocate for their identities, values, and beliefs while rallying to a shared vision
Proficiency in decision-making, taking calculated risks and cultivating an environment that encourages innovative and creative thinking and embraces unconventional, forward-looking ideas where failure is seen as an opportunity for learning and growth—while managing leaders clinging to the status quo
Ability to convey conviction and confidence while leading meetings and engaging in conversations, especially during turbulent social change, without causing offense, hurt, or alienation
Resilience in coaching and guiding teams through professional and personal challenges, consistently motivating them to achieve peak performance, even in the aftermath of crises, major restructurings, layoffs, or mergers
Capacity to serve as a bridge and a facilitator between various stakeholders
Can you relate to any of these? I’ve seen how these ever-increasing and perplexing responsibilities can drain even the most well-intentioned and capable managers. I want to help you steer clear of the burnout trap.
Who Makes a Good Manager?
Well, it’s a bit like you know it when you see it. Good managers, like Hamilton’s immigrants, “get the job done,” but not at the expense of their team members. They listen, communicate, and advocate for their teams. They get the big picture, the “why,” and how it feeds into their team’s contributions. They lend an ear to their team’s concerns and uncertainties, cultivating trust and shared understanding and promoting collaborative problem-solving instead of playing the “blame game.”
Good management enables trust, outstanding performance, and a positive experience, rather than entitling lousy behavior.
Earning trust can be tricky when you lack information. Good managers communicate expectations clearly, guide their teams to understand what’s important—priorities—rather than just handing out tasks, and consistently assess what’s going well and what needs improvement.
When you manage well, you free yourself up to do your best solo work. But you have to put in the time.
Management is like a high-wire act of care, where you continually juggle decisions about schedules, tasks, demands, unforeseen circumstances, commitments, and, always, humans. One misstep can disrupt the performance.
What’s the fallout of a managerial misstep? A manager lacking confidence might shy away from providing constructive feedback needed for an employee’s development and the successful completion of a project. Another manager lacking organizational acumen or strong relationships might fail to discern market or organizational signals, resulting in unprepared teams when facing strategic shifts in product launches or project deadlines. A manager grappling with fear about their own position may struggle to make sound decisions or offer clear guidance and possibly react in a way that causes distress and confusion among the team.
“I want to be a manager when I grow up,” said no one.
Not many people aspired to be managers when they were kids. But for many of us, becoming a manager seemed like the only path to higher leadership levels—am I right? While some may see management roles as a way to boost their egos or advance their careers, the new workplace makes it difficult to achieve either. In my experience, management is a challenging and humbling role filled with moments that require us to tap into the deepest reserves of our humanity.
Managers are expected to be superheroes. They must hold people together; navigate intricate interpersonal, political, and legal challenges; and address issues like sudden downsizing, layoffs, leadership transitions, and, as I’ve personally experienced, even bankruptcy. These shifts can leave employees feeling abandoned and uncertain, putting tremendous pressure on managers to hold it all together.
Leading people has become a nearly impossible job. A handful of employee and operational issues can easily hijack your entire week, diverting your attention from your previous priorities and wreaking havoc on your efforts to reprioritize tasks and manage the overload for your teams.
But not all managers get it right, and leading people when frequently buried under a mountain of tasks and left without the support they need is stressing everyone out. Employees suffer—and, ultimately, so do company results and shareholders.
I’ve witnessed the damage caused by disengaged and neglectful managers and how employees can thrive under the guidance of caring managers who help navigate personal, interpersonal, and organizational challenges.
Far too often, I’ve seen highly talented individuals, some genuinely well-intentioned, thrust into management roles without adequate preparation, organizational perspective, or self-awareness. Essentially, they are left to learn on the job. While a few may have an innate aptitude for leading people, most are left to their own devices, with management essentially hoping for the best. If they’re lucky, they have good role models to emulate and to provide support along the way. If they’re not, they and everyone around them are in for a whole lot of hurt.
Yes, management can be an underappreciated and thankless job. There are tasks far more satisfying than handling complaints, delivering negative feedback, conducting layoffs, or confronting harmful workplace behavior like bullying, dishonesty, manipulation, or deceit. All while being attentive to the well-being of vulnerable and underrepresented team members, making sure not to inadvertently (or deliberately) prioritize those with the loudest voices. And all while ensuring larger margins and returns on investments.
However, avoiding these responsibilities only results in unhappy employees, declines in productivity, and the talent you most need looking elsewhere for better opportunities, not to mention lackluster company results.
When done well, management can be gratifying. Can you remember the last time one of your team members developed an innovative solution that saved the day? Or when you witnessed someone on your team in a state of flow, flourishing in areas that bring them joy? These moments are concrete evidence of the influence you wield, capable of positively affecting the lives of individuals, whether it’s just one person or an entire team.
This is why I think of management as a calling rather than a destination. It is undeniably one of our most demanding yet most rewarding professional pursuits.
So What Can Managers Do About Burnout on Their Teams?
Everything. Imperfectly but with care, courage, practice, and commitment. This book will show you the what and how.
These days, all eyes are on managers to figure out how to hold teams together, and to prevent or eliminate burnout and productivity issues.
But how?
I’ve realized that expecting employees to “rebuild their resilience and engagement” through superficial solutions like vacations or benefits, which they often lack time to enjoy fully, is bound to be unsuccessful. Likewise, blaming them for their inability to keep up or fulfill every demand is futile. Why not choose an approach that heals and supports you and your teams by:
Taking a hard look in the mirror (self-reflection)
Examining the internal factors fueling team burnout (organizational reflection)
Recognizing the external factors that take a toll on humans physically and emotionally (interpersonal reflection)
Testing interventions that promote well-being and health sustainability, grounded not on assumptions but on the real experiences and pain points faced by your teams (actions)
And, perhaps most importantly, being willing to change how you manage your teams using your newfound insights.
Why This Book, and Why Now
My intimate understanding of the exhaustion and confusion that managers often contend with led me to write this book.
I’ve spent the last two decades driving transformational change in some of the world’s most admired companies across industries such as media, entertainment, finance, and technology.
I’ve experienced burnout many times, often ignoring the warning signs until it was too late. However, with the support of my loved ones and guidance from experts in various fields, including leadership, wellness, and Eastern practices, I’ve managed to recover each time. My focus has always been on what energizes me: helping others discover their agency to become compassionate, confident, and courageous leaders.
When I speak to corporate audiences, I’m often asked to share practical advice on how to lead and manage people inclusively. Increasingly, I find myself speaking about how tough and unpredictable work can be and how managers hold the power to either uplift teams or add to their confusion, overwhelm, and burnout.
There’s an abundance of books on management, some scholarly, some anchored in case studies, others anecdotal and thinly researched. This is not one of them; it’s a no-nonsense love letter to modern managers. I’m going beyond survival mode, laying down the unfiltered truths about ourselves and our workplaces so every manager can tap into their best selves and reignite their inner fire.
My enduring belief is this: Managers need time, resources, and support to prioritize their own self-awareness and well-being first, enabling them to do the same for others (and us!).
Managers’ collective attention—and hearts and minds—are overwhelmed with an unending stream of emergencies, ranging from employee crises; a reimagination of how, why, and where we work; and rapid technological advancements to widespread layoffs and budget freezes, all against a backdrop of uncertain social, environmental, economic, and global market outlooks.
From the top, there are mounting expectations to transform business operations and enhance productivity while dealing with budget cuts, enforcing return-to-office mandates, and scaling back diversity, equity, and inclusion initiatives.
Meanwhile, as managers, we are confronted with multiple demands from our teams—requests for flexibility, varied compensation and promotion expectations, the elimination of structural inequities, the assurance of safety and certainty in an uncertain world, autonomy and connection, and the support for caregiving, mental health, and well-being (bearing in mind that most managers even 20 years ago dealt with none of these issues, certainly not at today’s magnitude or intensity). Indeed, these are the challenges of our times, and they demand nothing less than the full attention of every manager.
I have found that the most difficult and rewarding challenge of this work is to seek light amidst the darkness, discover strength from depletion, and seek alignment and ease even when the systems and people around us seem determined to break us. It’s a ridiculously hard journey, but it can also be a liberating one—and the most important one you will make as a leader.
I share my leadership journey, enriched with case studies and research-backed, pragmatic solutions, navigating the whirlwind of a global pandemic, a racial reckoning, an economic crisis, and the social tensions of our times.
I invite you to open up to the possibility of enhancing your understanding of the physical and emotional cues we often overlook, both in our personal experiences and within our teams.
If you manage people, performance, productivity, and resources, this book is designed for you.
If you lead only one person or run a 100,000-person company, this book is for you.
If you constantly find yourself walking a fine line or in default mode shaping, guiding, and supporting stressed-out teams, this is the guide for you.
If you believe that empowering managers to prioritize dignity and well-being yields the greatest positive impact on teams and people, this book was written with you in mind.
And if you’re worried about how to manage people well in these dizzying times where everyone is struggling with destabilizing interpersonal tensions, overwork, fear and uncertainty, and the resulting burnout, this book is what you’ve been seeking.
Think of this book as your “how to” manual to thrive in the rapidly evolving landscape of modern management. Together, we will explore how to understand ourselves and others through bewildering workplace complexities, unlocking the keys to becoming the manager every person deserves.
What Are You in For?
Structured into four parts, each chapter addresses the evolving dynamics of the modern workforce and encourages you to reflect on what may have served you well in the past or held you back, acknowledging potential limitations and then purposefully deconstructing those old paradigms to create space for new and expanded possibilities. It will take thought, practice, and courage to build your fire-fighting muscles.
Each chapter is a deep dive into the art and science of leading people in unprecedented times with personal stories, research-backed insights, case studies, and battle-tested strategies.
Finally, at the end of every chapter, I’ve provided scripts, which are my top picks for handling all situations. While I don’t suggest reciting them robotically, I recommend honing your ability to craft scripts that help you convey the right information at the right time. Mastering this skill equips you to tackle everything from polished meeting presentations and easygoing chitchat to offering and receiving critical feedback. Let them help you corral your thoughts, vanquish pesky doubts, and supercharge your confidence. Moreover, scripts act as a shield, protecting you from you! With a script in hand, you’re less likely to blurt out inappropriate or hurtful responses.
I invite you to read the chapters sequentially as intended or select the ones that speak most to you.
And finally, as you read this book, I encourage you to make room for your mind, body, and heart to heal.
Ready to become that leader you’ve always wanted to be?
PART IRecognizing the Fires
1Where There’s Smoke, There’s Fire: Recognizing the Signs of Burnout
“I never want to hear the word ‘burnout’ again!” shouted a C-suite executive.
We were having yet another return to office discussion in mid-2021, when we hoped the pandemic was finally over. Little did we know then that we still had many cycles ahead of us.
In my role as the global chief people officer, I was in the process of sharing internal and external employee data with the executive leadership team, highlighting the profound mental and physical strain the global pandemic inflicted on our workforce.
Additionally, we were trying to get our heads around the challenges of the Great Resignation, a phenomenon of massive employee resignations across every department and global office. These hurdles had managers struggling to fill vacancies and motivate employees, including themselves, as they barely hung by a thread.
I was frustrated and responded, “You can call it whatever you want, but that doesn’t change the reality that our employees, especially our managers, are feeling unsafe, exhausted, and disconnected. Ignoring it won’t solve the issue.”
While that might not have been my finest hour, I wasn’t wrong.
Breaking Down Burnout: Where There’s Smoke There’s Fire
Have you ever fought the urge to sneak out of a meeting momentarily, find a quiet corner, and unleash a silent scream into the void?
Have you ever found yourself drowning in a sea of employee complaints, desperately trying to stifle the urge to tell everyone to shut up?
Have you ever daydreamed about who you might be if you were burnout-free?
I have.
Visualize a version of yourself that radiates with inner light, peacefully sleeping or taking a leisurely walk in the park, instead of a you who struggles to recall not just breakfast but also the last time you savored a delicious homemade meal or shared a laugh with loved ones. It’s an enticing vision, right?
Yet the relentless grind of work often clouds our dreams, making it challenging to spot the hidden triggers and subtle warnings of burnout, let alone fathom its deep-seated consequences.
In this chapter, you’ll sharpen your awareness about what burnout really is—and what it is not.
Let’s begin.
My Burnout Story
I’ve been burned out more times than I care to remember.
Burnout starts somewhere, and it varies from person to person. For me, it began as far back as I can remember.
My upbringing in the Dominican Republic—cared for by grandparents who had endured a brutal dictatorship, were compelled to leave their homeland to raise young children in a foreign country, and eventually returned as older parents to their first granddaughter—instilled within me a deep sense of maturity and responsibility from a very early age.
I not only imposed high expectations on myself to excel and be a “good girl”—whether at school, family gatherings, or social events—but also learned to suppress my own discomfort and prioritize others’ needs over my own. This, regrettably, led to my failure to establish healthy boundaries and effective coping mechanisms to manage conflict and stress. My coping methods revolved around performance, maintaining a constant smile, and disregarding emotional and physical warning signals.
It turns out, I’m not alone.
For the past two decades, I’ve been at the forefront of revolutionizing people practices in some of the world’s most esteemed companies. Occasionally, burnout episodes would wreck my patience and health despite my ninja-level skill in sidestepping and dismissing the unwelcomed, ill-mannered guests.
A catalyzing moment arrived in 2018 when I took an involuntary 11-month sabbatical due to an organizational restructuring. At the guidance of a friend and executive coach, I approached this career break as an opportunity to rest and heal my heart, which I had long neglected. I refer to this period of my life as “The Year of My Heart.”
Initially, I was concerned about how this career break might impact my professional reputation and appeal to potential employers. I didn’t know anyone who had ever taken career breaks. However, it became evident that this break was exactly what my heart needed.
I found joy, connection, and freedom. I took my family on far-off travel adventures, dedicated more of my time to nonprofit board and volunteer work, and cultivated a more expansive vision for my career. This experience eventually led me to the role of chief people officer at Vice Media at the onset of a global health pandemic.
While I had intended to carry my newfound learnings into my new work life, life had its unexpected twists in store.
During the COVID-19 crisis, my primary focus revolved around guiding global teams through what seemed like an endless health emergency. My daily routine was marked by providing emotional support to peers, teammates, and colleagues, offering a compassionate ear for their concerns. All the while, I grappled with an overwhelming array of work challenges that spanned nearly every time zone, crossed cultural and geographic boundaries, and encompassed both personal and operational domains, often without a guidebook. Balancing the standard HR function of recruitment, retention, and growth practices with emerging facilities concerns, reentry processes, and interpersonal tensions, and health and well-being crises that constantly popped up across teams kept my to-do list on a heavy rotation.
This tumultuous hamster wheel speed eventually propelled me down a path of prolonged burnout, an experience unlike any I had encountered in my career.
The causes of my burnout were clear: managing global teams in a 24/7 environment, shouldering the responsibility of guiding managers overseeing their respective teams, and supporting executive leaders overseeing the entirety of it all. My professional load was further compounded by the challenges of parenting a teenager and striving to be a good wife. However, as a Latina, it didn’t stop there; I also attempted, and frequently fell short, to fulfill my roles as a daughter, granddaughter, sister, cousin, niece, and aunt, not to mention a friend.
It felt like my mind was constantly aflame, with every call, text, or email setting off my nervous system. But I just kept going, not making room for rest.
It wasn’t just my burnout that needed addressing. I was also responsible for the collective burnout felt by teams worldwide, the complex operational puzzle that management and leadership teams had to untangle as a consequence, and the deep well of empathy we had to draw from while navigating uncharted waters.
Caught in this vicious cycle of performance, adjustment, adaptation, and change, I failed to notice my gradual decline in functioning. Externally, I continued to meet corporate expectations, sustaining a high level of performance. However, the relentless stressors silently eroded my mental faculties, making me feel like a sluggish sloth attempting to navigate life in perpetual slow motion.
The chronic stress I experienced also wreaked havoc on my physical well-being. Seemingly simple actions like getting up from my chair became painful, my weight and gut health spiraled into disarray, and I grappled with persistent rashes and inflammation that left me feeling like my body was aflame. I even found myself constantly scratching my skin, needing to hide the unsightly rashes.
As a child, I was that kid with an ever-present runny nose, sitting in front of the TV because any other activity felt too arduous. Asthma and recurrent bouts of respiratory illnesses were my constant companions. As an adult, the vivid childhood memories of struggling to breathe inspired me to lead a healthy lifestyle, engaging in physical activities, especially running, to strengthen my lungs.
However, after contracting COVID-19 in April 2021, I began experiencing familiar and debilitating respiratory symptoms, which were diagnosed as either long-term COVID-19 or chronic bronchitis, depending on which medical opinion I listened to. This time, my age and heightened stress levels contributed to further debilitation. My physical and emotional reserves were depleted thanks to the relentless barrage of professional challenges pummeling me since 2020. It felt like I had completed a grueling marathon filled with unexpected twists and turns, leaving me feeling fractured, worn, and constantly struggling to catch my breath. In my quest to find relief and breathe more easily, I consulted numerous specialists and tried various treatments.
A pulmonologist concluded that I was no longer asthmatic but highly susceptible to bronchial and respiratory infections, a vulnerability exacerbated as I neared my 50s. An acupuncturist treated the muscle pain and tightness in my chest. I also engaged in personal weight training to address the bloating and weight gain I couldn’t shake.
Contemplating the possibility of perimenopause and a change in my diet to address the skin irritation, I also consulted a nutritionist. Upon testing my blood, her unequivocal diagnosis was that my hormone levels were at the lowest end of the spectrum for someone my age. Curious, I asked, “What do you think might be causing this?” Her response was swift and direct: “Sustained stress.” The sobering reality of her words left me profoundly shaken.
“What in the world is sustained stress?” I wondered, diving into the rabbit hole of definitions.
