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- Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
- Kategorie: Fachliteratur
- Sprache: Englisch
Become the best version of yourself using these practical frameworks exploring the power of performance coaching from a Top NYC Executive Coach. Coach Yourself! is a guide for people who are committed to increasing their awareness about behaviors that aren't serving them at work or in the rest of their lives, and then taking the necessary actions to move forward. If you're ready to explore changing habits and behaviors to improve how you show up in work and life, this book is for you. With practical and accessible frameworks exploring the power of performance coaching, Top NYC Executive Coach Antonia Bowring teaches readers to use her performance coaching formula: increased awareness + changed behavior = flourishing individual and thriving work performance. Bowring offers recipes, frameworks, and tools you can use to navigate the exhilarating, and inevitably bumpy, journey through your professional life. You'll discover: * Foundational definitions and concepts, including discussions about the different kinds of coaching, the benefits they bring to the table, and the processes they use * The importance of your values, and how they anchor your progress through your coaching journey * Communication strategies used by the world's most effective problem-solvers and decision-makers in the world While this will be an essential guide for professionals and leaders, anyone can pick up this book and apply the frameworks to various aspects of their life. The essence of coaching is that we have the answers inside ourselves, and the role of the coach is to help us access our own answers.
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Seitenzahl: 236
Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2023
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Table of Contents
Cover
Table of Contents
Praise for
Coach Yourself!
Title Page
Copyright
Introduction: Preparing for the JourneynoteSet
Your Journey of Self‐Discovery
My Journey of Self‐Discovery
Call to Action
Note
I: Launching the Journey
1 The Executive Coaching Context
What Is Executive Coaching?
Why Is Executive Coaching So Popular?
Who Is Executive Coaching For?
Notes
2 My Coaching Philosophy and Process
My Coaching Philosophy: Motivated and Sustainable Change
My Coaching Process
As You Embark on Your Journey
Reflection Questions
Resources
Notes
3 For My Readers with ADHD
Recognition, Acceptance, Education, and Integration
Reflection Questions
Resources
Notes
4 How to Use the Rest of the Book
Note
II: Coaching Frameworks for Takeoff
5 Core Values Framework: Anchor Your Journey
Defining Your Values Is the First Step
Core Values Exercise
Step 2. Choose Your Top 10 Values
Step 3. Finalize Your Core Values
Step 4. Activate Your Core Values
Key Reminders as You Think about Your Core Values
Reflection Questions
Resources
Note
6 Mind the Gap Framework
Understanding the Mind the Gap Framework
Reflection Questions
Resources
Note
7 Spectator‐Actor Mindset Framework
Understanding the Spectator‐Actor Mindset Framework
Use This Framework All the Time
Reflection Questions
Resources
III: Navigating Challenging Conversations
8 Four Key Building Blocks for Critical Conversations
Preparation
Curiosity
Deep Active Listening
Open‐Ended Questions
Reflection Questions
Resources
Notes
9 COIN Framework: How to Have a Critical Conversation
What COIN Is and When to Use It
Preparation for COIN
Activation of COIN
Reflection Questions
Resources
Notes
10 Communicate FOR: A Framework Focused on Relationships
Communicate FOR Explained
Reflection Questions
Resources
Note
11 Compassionate Candor Framework
Compassionate Candor: Two Key Dimensions
Two Categories of Feedback: Affirming and Constructive
The Basics of Delivering Compassionate Candid Feedback
Reflection Questions
Resources
Notes
12 The Conversation Funnel Framework
The Conversation Funnel Explained
The Conversation Funnel in Action
Reflection Questions
IV: Unlocking the Keys to Great Management
13 Four Keys to Great Management: A Meta‐Framework
Key 1: Create Trust through Regular Check‐Ins
Key 2: Delegate So Everyone Can Grow
Key 3: Give Frequent Feedback
Key 4: Develop Staff Potential through Performance and Career Coaching
Resources
Notes
14 GRPI: A Diagnostic Framework to Unlock Team Needs
The GRPI Hierarchy
Reflection Questions
Resources
Notes
15 Six Keys to Unlock the Power of a Strong Team
Psychological Safety
Productive Conflict
Decision Alignment
Accountability
Goal Alignment
Purpose
Reflection Questions
Resources
Notes
V: Crossing the Finish Line and Solidifying Your Coaching Wins
16 Building Powerful Habits
Who Do You Want to Be? (Intentions, Goals, and Habits)
Habit Basics
How to Build a New Habit
Key Success Factors for Building Powerful Habits
Repetition
Stacking
How I Applied the Habit Loop Framework to Improve my Life
Keystone Habits
Reflection Questions
Resources
Notes
17 RAM‐3, 2, 1: Reinforcing Your Coaching Wins
RAM‐3, 2, 1
Invoke a Wise Friend
Putting It into Practice
Reflection Questions
Resources
Notes
18 Parting Words
Get the Most from This Book as You Move Forward
Final Words
Appendix 1: Coaching Frameworks at a Glance
Note
Appendix 2: ADHD Resource List
Podcasts
Apps and Websites
Associations and Government Resources
Directories for ADHD Coaches
Key ADHD Books
Meditation Books and Apps
Documentaries
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Index
End User License Agreement
List of Tables
Chapter 9
Table 9.1 COIN Explained.
Chapter 10
Table 10.1 Communicate FOR at a Glance.
Chapter 11
Table 11.1 Four Steps to Deliver Compassionate Candid Feedback.
Chapter 13
Table 13.1 Four Keys to Great Management.
Table 13.2 Three‐Part Career Coaching Conversation.
Chapter 14
Table 14.1 GRPI at a Glance.
Chapter 15
Table 15.1 Psychological Safety.
Table 15.2 Productive Conflict.
Table 15.3 Decision Alignment.
Table 15.4 Accountability.
Table 15.5 Goal Alignment.
Table 15.6 Purpose (The “Why” Behind the Work).
Chapter 16
Table 16.1 How Does a Habit Loop Work?
List of Illustrations
Chapter 2
Figure 2.1 Coaching Process.
Chapter 6
Figure 6.1 Mind the Gap Framework.
Chapter 12
Figure 12.1 The Conversation Funnel.
Chapter 13
Figure 13.1 Delegated Autonomy Spectrum.
Chapter 15
Figure 15.1 ;Six Keys to Unlock the Power of a Strong Team.
Chapter 16
Figure 16.1 Habit Loop.
Guide
Cover Page
Praise for Coach Yourself!
Title Page
Copyright
Copyright
Introduction: Preparing for the Journey
Table of Contents
Begin Reading
Appendix 1: Coaching Frameworks at a Glance
Appendix 2: ADHD Resource List
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Index
Wiley End User License Agreement
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Praise for Coach Yourself!
“Coach Yourself! is full of practical advice and hard‐earned wisdom. Antonia Bowring bravely shares her own story, and through this book, continues her passion to give caring coaching ideas that can lift your career prospects and deepen your self‐awareness.”
—Sally Susman,Chief Corporate Affairs Officer, Pfizer and Author of Breaking Through: Communicating to Open Minds, Move Hearts, and Change the World
“Antonia Bowring has given us two gifts in this book—insights into successful executive coaching practices and tools to apply these insights in our own lives. Her frameworks are practical, thoughtful, and readily adapted by readers to fit their life. Antonia's wisdom and experience shine through. I highly recommend her book for current and future coaches, and for all those who wish they had one.”
—Kerry J. Sulkowicz, M.D.,Managing Principal, Boswell Group LLC
“Antonia Bowring has laid out her ‘go to’ executive coaching frameworks beautifully. She takes you on a journey of both self‐discovery and concrete ways to put your new awareness into action. As CEO of a growing company, I see the need for this book. It has something for everyone from the most junior employee up to the C‐suite.”
—Sarah Slusser,CEO, Cypress Creek Renewables
“We all need to build our own toolkits for better professional performance and deepen our life satisfaction. Antonia has given us a comprehensive, masterful playbook to help us on this journey.”
—Khe Hy,Founder and CEO of RadReads
“Thank you, Antonia Bowring. This book is a labor of love and it contains so much of your executive coaching expertise, and is so accessible and practical. Anyone who buys this book can put these coaching frameworks into action and they will see an immediate impact in how they show up at work and in the rest of life.”
—Pat Mitchell,Cofounder, ConnectedWomenLeaders; Editorial Director, TEDWomen, and Author of Becoming a Dangerous Woman: Embracing Risk to Change the World
“If you are struggling to manage your ADHD symptoms, then you should put this book on your reading list. It's a game‐changer! It completely opened my eyes to what was possible as an adult living with ADHD. A lot of self‐help books give advice on how to change certain areas of your life, but they don't address the habits and patterns that are likely to creep back in and ruin your progress. This one does! Thank you, Antonia, I'm recommending it to everyone!”
—Andrew Fingerman,CEO Photoshelter
ANTONIA BOWRING
COACH YOURSELF!
INCREASE AWARENESS, CHANGE BEHAVIOR, AND THRIVE
Copyright © 2024 by Antonia Bowring. All rights reserved.
Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.
Published simultaneously in Canada.
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Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Further, readers should be aware that websites listed in this work may have changed or disappeared between when this work was written and when it is read. Neither the publisher nor authors shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages.
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Library of Congress Cataloging‐in‐Publication Data:
Names: Bowring, Antonia, author.
Title: Coach yourself! : increase awareness, change behavior, and thrive / Antonia Bowring.
Description: First edition. | Hoboken, New Jersey : Wiley, 2023. | Includes index.
Identifiers: LCCN 2023008787 (print) | LCCN 2023008788 (ebook) | ISBN 9781119931454 (hardback) | ISBN 9781119931478 (adobe pdf) | ISBN 9781119931461 (epub)
Subjects: LCSH: Executive coaching. | Mindfulness (Psychology) | Organizational behavior. | Success in business.
Classification: LCC HF5549.5.C53 B689 2023 (print) | LCC HF5549.5.C53 (ebook) | DDC 658.4/07124—dc23/eng/20230316
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2023008787
LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2023008788
Cover Design: Wiley
Cover Image: © antishock/Getty Images
Between stimulus and response, there is a space and in that space lies our power to choose and in our choice lies our growth and freedom.
—Victor Frankel
I merely took the energy it takes to pout and wrote some blues.
—Duke Ellington
Introduction: Preparing for the Journey
“Life is a journey, not a destination.”
—Ralph Waldo Emerson
A couple of years ago, I called my coaching colleague, Lisa, to ask her advice.
“Lisa,” I said, “I feel like it's time for me to work with a coach again, is there anyone you'd recommend?”
“If someone asked me to refer them to a master coach, I'd recommend you,” she said. “And besides, can't you coach yourself with the frameworks you use with your clients?”
I was shocked by her response. Is that me she's talking about? I didn't consider myself to be a master coach, but I felt incredibly validated hearing her refer to me that way. (Yes, coaches can have moments of imposter syndrome, too!)
I am passionate about what coaching can do and that exchange with Lisa got me thinking about how to spread what I knew about coaching with others.
I realized I rely on certain “go‐to” coaching frameworks when I hit bumps in the road—ranging from small speed bumps to major obstacles that require a metaphorical four‐wheel all‐terrain vehicle to overcome. My recent bumps have ranged from needing to develop better communication skills with my teenage sons to grappling with my adult ADHD diagnosis.
After receiving my diagnosis, I found it challenging at first to apply the label of ADHD to myself although I immediately felt a sense of relief: “Oh, so that's what's going on… . It's not just that I lack self‐control.” It also became the catalyst for me to write this book.
A great deal of my journey in accepting my ADHD was about reframing how I saw myself: building new awareness of my strengths and challenges, and using coaching frameworks as additional scaffolding in my work and personal life.
I started cataloging my favorite coaching frameworks, specifically the ones that had brought the most success to my coaching clients and me. That led to my decision to write this book: I wanted to share these powerful tools to help people become more effective leaders, better parents, and ultimately happier and more accomplished people who are successfully living up to their potential.
In this book, I detail the knowledge and experience I have gained from a decade as a coach, and two decades as management consultant and in the C‐suite. These frameworks and tactics will help you be a more empathetic, realistic, and effective coach to yourself. This book will help you lead by example as you employ the practices described here with your clients, colleagues, family members, friends, and romantic partners!
Your Journey of Self‐Discovery
If you are reading this book, you are a motivated learner and already on a journey of self‐discovery. You want change and progress, and you want to harness your gifts and strengths in new ways. This book will teach you more about yourself and help you acquire tools to be more successful at work and at home. Keep in mind these three “Ps” as you move through the book:
Practice – these frameworks require practice to implement them well.
Patience – be kind to yourself and recognize you are on a journey. Moving in the right direction of real change and staying the course, even when it's challenging, is success in and of itself.
Party – celebrate along the way. This is a joyful learning journey that benefits from positive reinforcement.
My Journey of Self‐Discovery
Before I became a coach, my education included one undergraduate degree and two masters; and my 20‐plus‐year career spanned Canadian politics and international economic development to management consulting and female founder start‐ups. I pivoted from the C‐suite to coaching full time 10 years ago and never looked back.
I see now how my work experience helped prepare me to be an executive coach. I confronted a number of challenges during my career without the benefit of a coach, and I could have used one! I also could have used more strategic career guidance along the way.
Managing up was a big challenge, especially early in my career when I worked across cultures with founders much older than me. I needed help to learn the best strategies to influence and persuade, and how to balance respect for them and their views with the work goals I was accountable for. Later I worked as COO at an organization where I had two bosses, and successfully managing up was complex and critical to my ability to do my job well.
Getting fired was a deeply humbling experience. When the new president of the foundation where I was working told me that I was being let go, it was a tremendous blow to my ego and my confidence. I remember thinking, “I don't get fired. I get promoted! How can this be happening to me, I thought I was a winner?”
I also wasted years not doing the work I was born to do (coaching). For years I kept thinking I needed more credentials to be qualified enough and I undersold my skills. It took me too long to fully tap into my interests and strengths, and I often doubted my expertise. My level of confidence varied; I usually felt I was only as good as the client presentation I'd just made or the last deal I'd negotiated.
The humility I learned, the empathy I developed, and, ironically, the confidence I ended up having in my judgment were all benefits of going through experiences like these. That said, I needed time to hone my perspective, but I could have accelerated the learning, insights, and subsequent positive actions if I'd had the benefit of working with a good coach.
This is what inspires me to be in service to others. Of course, you have to learn your own lessons and forge your own pathway, but a coach can help you move through this process faster.
I wake up every morning feeling blessed and privileged to do this work. I get to support people who want to understand themselves better and take actions based on their new insights and new self‐perceptions. Many of my clients have achieved goals they never thought possible, just by making small changes in their behavior and making sure those changes stick. This book will help you make changes too.
Call to Action
Why am I inspired to share these coaching frameworks with you? In three words: these frameworks work. And this book will help you master them. This isn't a book you have to start at the beginning and read to the conclusion. I think of it as a very friendly reference book. Pick it up and start with a chapter that speaks to you. Where are you challenged right now? Is it having tough conversations? Then you'll want to hone in on Part III, which is all about communication frameworks. Managing a team? Part IV covers individual management skills and team dynamics. Over the past 10 years, I have employed every one of these frameworks with dozens and dozens of clients. They all work.
You will need to adapt these frameworks to your specific needs and your learning style, and, of course, you will need to keep your organization's culture in mind too.1
And if you have a diagnosis of ADHD, you will find the frameworks in this book extremely helpful in times of need. It's simple: people with ADHD often require more scaffolding to be productive and efficient, and this book provides it.
The insights I provide on active listening and suggested open‐ended questions in Chapter 8 resonate with many ADHD clients since sometimes they feel uncomfortable in meetings interacting with colleagues, and are looking for hacks to make it less awkward. I end the book with a section dedicated to helping you maintain your coaching wins. Once you have developed more awareness and shifted behaviors, what support do you need to avoid regressing to prior behaviors you worked hard to change?
I am so glad to be going on this journey with you.
Note
1.
Roy Atkinson, “A Framework Is a Recipe,” HDI, December 2017.
https://www.thinkhdi.com/library/supportworld/2017/a-framework-is-a-recipe.aspx
ILaunching the Journey
In Chapter 1, I review some of the basics about what executive coaching is (and is not), and why it has experienced such growth in the past two decades. I then describe my coaching philosophy and coaching process in Chapter 2. I wrote Chapter 3 specifically for my readers with ADHD and it includes a framework for living successfully with ADHD. Finally, I share my thoughts on how to navigate the rest of the book in Chapter 4.
1The Executive Coaching Context
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts
—Winston Churchill
What Is Executive Coaching?
In the most basic (and driest) terms, “executive coaching is a regular one‐on‐one development process designed to produce positive changes in business behavior in a limited time frame.”1 Building from there, when I am hired as an executive coach, I serve as a professional reframer, cheerleader, sounding board, and accountability partner to my client. I help you develop awareness about yourself, help you unearth your challenges, and create actionable goals related to them, and then hold you accountable for achieving those goals. And the ideal result is an improved situation where you thrive (and if you lead a team, it will thrive, too).
Coaching isn't therapy because the focus is forward looking, not backward, and is strongly focused on action and results, rather than unearthing the reasons for past and present behaviors. Coaching isn't consulting either because a coach is not telling you what to do, or even making strong recommendations about what you should do, which we expect from consultants.
The essence of coaching is that we all have the answers inside ourselves, and the role of the coach is to help us access our own answers by shifting perspectives, developing new insights and strategies, and accessing new resources.
Executive coaching is different from life coaching. Life coaching helps people attain greater fulfillment with an emphasis on their life goals, relationships, and day‐to‐day lives.2 Executive coaching is more focused on the work environment and business results, but it also incorporates elements of life coaching since we can't (and shouldn't) separate the “rest of our lives” from our “work lives.”
Why Is Executive Coaching So Popular?
In an increasingly complex and competitive global economy, businesses and organizations of all sizes are looking for ways to differentiate their brands and enhance their value propositions. Enlightened organizations realize that maintaining a strong cadre of motivated managers and leaders is critical to their bottom‐line success. Executive coaching empowers individuals, which, in turn, positively impacts the bottom line.
I believe the enormous growth in coaching is based on several linked factors:
Information bombards us daily and the pace of change keeps accelerating. Coaches help curate a professional development journey that helps leaders better handle the complexities and keep pace with acceleration.
Demands on us to perform underscore the need for us all to cultivate external perspectives—good coaches are a combination of cheerleader, truth‐teller, and professional reframer. In his TED Talk, surgeon and bestselling author Atul Gawande speaks eloquently about the power of and need for coaching to become your most successful self.
Great coaches are your external eyes and ears, providing a more accurate picture of your reality. They are breaking your actions down and helping you build them back up again.3
Professional sports teams and athletes have long invested in coaches for support in a variety of ways, from technical skills to strength training to motivation and mindset. Teams and athletes use coaches to achieve success and then maintain it. Why should it be different for companies and individuals?
Companies recognize that coaching is a perk for executives and is now seen as an integral part of the full compensation package.
Finally, development conversations that used to be handled by mentors, managers, and elders are today outsourced to coaches. On the one hand that is bad news since it's a reflection of how little time we have available to help others. On the other hand, certified coaches have powerful toolkits to help develop leaders and managers.
The statistics speak for themselves.
Of individuals and companies who hire a coach, 99% are “satisfied or very satisfied” and 96% say they would repeat the process. For people who receive coaching, 80% report increased self‐confidence,
4
and more than 70% reported benefits from improved work performance, relationships, and more effective communication skills.
5
Companies investing in coaching also are satisfied: 86% report they recouped their investment on coaching and more, with a median ROI of 7× the investment.
6
For companies with a strong coaching culture, 51% report higher revenue than their industry peer group
7
and a 52% reduction in employee burnout.
8
In a case study of women leaders who participated in coaching, 75% say the value of executive and leadership coaching is “considerably greater” or “far greater” than the money and time invested.
9
One in six entrepreneurs turns to coaching to improve their performance.
10
It's easy to see why business coaching has moved from a niche area at the turn of this century to a $14.2 billion business in the United States in 2022.11
Who Is Executive Coaching For?
Coaching often is associated with assistance for C‐suite executives grappling with top‐level strategy and leadership issues. Coaching also is valuable for managers, candidates for promotion, or those who have been recently promoted, since their management and leadership skills frequently need enhancing. Founders of early‐stage and high‐growth companies also invest in coaching, often because of the pressures from scaling up a business and the loneliness many of them encounter. And some individuals are so invested in their own development that they seek out and pay for their own coach, typically when someone is looking to make a career transition.
Executive coaching covers a wide range of issues, including strategy, delegation, effective listening, collaboration with peers, executive presence, presentation and communication skills, hiring practices, negotiating contracts, and team management. In essence, coaching addresses issues that get in the way of the client being the best business leader and people manager that they can be.
Coaching can be profoundly transformational when clients tap into sources of confidence and strength that enable them to live their truth and purpose as leaders and humans. At the transactional level, clients gain new behaviors from coaching that help them to thrive more. At the other extreme, insights from coaching can transform their lives.
