CURIOSITIES ABOUT ANIMALS AND HUMANS E-Book

Thomas Tabbert

• Herausgeber: neobooks
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Deutsch

Seitenzahl: 90

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2025

Beschreibung

My book is about animal stories in which various animals are the protagonists. These animals are dogs, a tomcat, a family of ducks, a tortoise, a snake, two bats, a woodpecker, a crow and a swan. People are always involved in the animal stories. In other incidents, different people are the protagonists, for example in a father and son dispute; in a customer conversation at the bank; when a letter carrier delivers ten registered letters; a family whose house is in disarray and disgruntled passengers. I love it when I can make people laugh! That's often not so easy. As a piano teacher, I manage to make the children laugh when I sing at the top of my voice - precisely because I absolutely can't sing (embarrassing if you're a musician). It usually knocks the kids off their feet. Now I want to try to make people laugh through writing. I hope I succeed.

Leseprobe

Imprint

Bibliografische Information der Deutschen Nationalbibliothek

The German National Library lists this publication in the German National Bibliography; detailed bibliographic data is available on the Internet at dnb.dnb.de.

All information in this book has been compiled and compiled by the author with the utmost care. Nevertheless, errors cannot be completely ruled out. The publisher and the author therefore feel compelled to point out that they cannot assume any guarantee or legal responsibility or any liability for consequences resulting from incorrect information. The publisher and the author would be grateful to be informed of any errors at any time. The publisher and the author accept no responsibility or liability for changes resulting from circumstances for which they are not responsible. Any files and information attached or offered for download are for non-commercial use. Commercial use is only possible with the consent of the license holder.

© 2023 Thomas Tabbert

Translation from German into American

© 2025 Thomas Tabbert

All rights reserved. The work, including its parts, is protected by copyright. Any use is prohibited without the consent of the publisher and the author. This applies in particular to electronic or other reproduction, translation, distribution and making available to the public.

Thomas Tabbert

Falkenseer Damm 6

13585 Berlin

[email protected]

Cover design and pictures in the book:

© Copyright by Thomas Tabbert

German publication: September 2023

English (American) Publication: March 2025

Table of contents

ImprintThe BatThe Application LetterThe Duck WalkDeposit of CoinsThe WoodpeckerThe AuthorshipThe SnakeThe Early BirdShuffleOn the FlightThe CrowDog BarkingThe SwanMallorcaThe Dog KennelThe NightmareThe Pasture FenceAlexThe Tomcat

The Bat

My music practice room doesn't really look like much anymore since I had to sell my grand piano, whereupon the "glory of yore" should have faded once and for all.

Nonetheless, the room naturally has a certain history; and this chronicle is joined by the most recent event:

My partner recently said that now - after a few years - it was probably time to finally open the windows to clear the room a little of the cigarette fumes.

After I had always persistently (and therefore successfully) refused to nip such requests in the bud - from various sides - I took a small two-person celebration (pointless booze-up) with my old buddy Jimmy as an opportunity to finally comply with her request (Hah - narrow-minded and unruly my ass!).

While Jimmy and I were comfortably smoking one fag after the other and drinking away, we suddenly heard a muffled "Plock" up between the ceiling and the wall. Then something black fell from that spot onto the floor. Although we were drunk, we got such a huge fright that we sobered up almost instantly. There was something indefinable on the floor below. We slowly rose from our seats, our eyes wide open, our paralyzed gaze fixed on the something. In slow motion, we approached the black something extremely carefully but purposefully - at least as far as our inebriated state would allow.

"A bat!" Jimmy shouted in surprise, whereupon I got another rush of adrenaline at the sound of his roar and the identification. In absolute panic, I left the room in a hurry and instinctively slammed the door behind me with a loud bang. However, I immediately realized that my reaction would not be considered particularly brave by Jimmy. So, in an effort to limit the damage, I immediately opened the door again a millimeter-wide gap to carefully and carefully assess the situation.

Jimmy, on the other hand, behaved very differently and his explorer nature was now evident.

First he poked the creature with his index finger, and when it didn't budge, he took a photo of it with his camera phone and giggled, cataloging it as

"The_dancer_with_the_bat_01.jpg".

It seemed lifeless. Peu à peu - becoming a little braver - I now entered the room. But as soon as I stood right in front of the creature, it stirred, came back to life and suddenly fluttered around the room like lightning.

"Uarrrh!" I screamed, startled, and ripped the umbrella off the Tschibo sun lounger to defend myself against the (blood-sucking - you've heard a lot about them - never anything particularly good) Transylvanian fluttering vampire monster. After all, it's a predator and has fangs - and it's wild too. Dangerous!

Laughing out loud, Jimmy photographed me.

"The_dancer_with_the_bat_02.jpg"

He cataloged the picture. Meanwhile, the creature kept circling back and forth around me in the room while I waved the umbrella around to drive it out of the window. And then, to my horror, a second bat actually came in through the open window. The situation came to a dramatic head; in short, it was disastrous! In the end, one bat managed to escape to freedom - I suspect that it was the bat that had come in later, no doubt to see where flying predator Nº1 had gone.

"Click", Jimmy cataloged

"The_dancer_with_the_batt_03.jpg"

Well, he had his fun!

After a heated chase (although I still don't know who was chasing whom (incidentally, I was almost certainly far more afraid of the bat than the other way around (there are other opinions on this too))), the bat unexpectedly took a break by clinging to the top, between the wall and ceiling, obviously to rest, relax a little and perhaps make itself comfortable there for an indefinite period of time. But the bat had not reckoned with the host. I immediately urged it to take off again ... and at some point - it seemed like an eternity - the fluttering monster disappeared unawares through the window into the dark night. End of the story.

Soberly speaking, I'm now of the opinion that Batman Nº1 must have been extremely stupid - after all, bats have ultrasound, don't they? But no - instead of using her healthy, innate sense of sonar, Batman Nº1 hurtled straight through the open window and crashed full sock against the wall, fell down unconscious, and then lay there (- why?).

The Application Letter

I finally had my school-leaving certificate in my pocket.

My father called me over and said: "You've finished school. The lottery life is over. Now the serious side of life begins. It's time for you to start thinking seriously about your future."

I was prepared for this. I had seen this situation coming. I already had an ace up my sleeve for this.

I agreed with him: "That's exactly how I see it. Good of you to mention it. Funny story. I've only just sent off my application."

My father looked at me in amazement: "Where did you send what? What kind of application?"

I grinned: "Do you want to see it? Wait, I'll get you a photocopy of it."

While I was fetching the copy of my application, my father had placed a place setting (a tankard of beer and a glass of schnapps) on the table in front of him.

When I stood in front of him again, he looked at me and took a deep sip from the beer mug. Then he put the mug down and asked me:

"Let me see that!"

I proudly presented him with my application.

He read out loud:

"To the company

My choice

- Personnel office -

"Head of Human Resources personally"

Relates to: Application as a provider of ideas

Dear ladies and gentlemen,

I am hereby applying to you as a supplier of ideas.

My idea regarding my work with you is as follows:

I would like to have an independent, autonomous workplace in your company with my own office - as a production facility, as a think tank - and a secretary who manages my activities, i.e. coordinates appointments, helps me to map out my ideas, researches them, etc.

I would like to have my own office, as a production facility, as a think tank.

Since I have many different, creative ideas, which of course I cannot realize on my own due to a lack of resources, I need the staff of your company, who are able to implement my promising ideas (if necessary to select) in a cooperative team workshop, to innovative sales-booming mass products, which in turn will help your company to record profits.

I see myself in a position to be able to provide your company with ideas for products that require development and production under your management, the know-how of your company's skilled workers - and scientists.

I am talking about products that will fill unrivaled market niches (precisely because your competitors lack the ideas)

In view of this, I am sure that your company, which will soon be prospering, will be keen to fill new jobs (if that is not publicity for your company at the moment!).

As I am a hyperrealist, I do not have a conventionally-statuated education. Accordingly, I am not fixed, but move flexibly in all scientific fields. As a visionary, I will therefore be able to work in an interdisciplinary way.

If you are enthusiastic and willing to dance the waltz with me, nothing stands in the way of an enjoyable collaboration. I would therefore be delighted if you would invite me to an interview where I can present you with a sample of my ideas.

I remain with eager expectations.

P.S.: If my application seems rather unusual to you, I can assure you that it is nevertheless meant seriously.

You see, I'm currently vegetating somewhere in a vacuum. But even the smallest potato can grow if it is implanted in fertile soil, can't it?

I feel like a shackled Leonardo da Vinci, crying out for the help of a competent mentor.

I'm not interested in a hefty salary (making a living from my income is desirable), but as an enthusiastic, idealistic visionary, I'm interested in repairing my ideas.

My work is incompatible within a hierarchical structure. The ideas are external: free, so I want to be able to act independently (without a superior) - but within a round-table discussion. As someone who pulls various strings in the background, so to speak.

I want to be the gatekeeper of humanity (in your terminology: the consumer/buyer/customer and the like) and show them the gates of the future; they have to pay a toll when they pass through - and that would ultimately mean profit and secure jobs for your company."

After my father had read the letter, he leaned back in his chair with a sigh and stared up at the ceiling.

A while passed. He apparently needed to collect himself and let what he had read sink in. I gave him the time he needed.

With wide eyes, I looked at him expectantly.

He was still holding the paper in his left hand. Slowly, he straightened up a little as he sat. He took a deep breath and expelled it loudly and audibly, hissing slowly between his lips, looking at me sharply. Then, unexpectedly, he quickly reached for the shot glass with his right hand and emptied the contents in one go.

"That's it, son. That's enough for me. You're going to the army for now!"

"But father...!"