Cut the Noise E-Book

Chris Helder

• Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
• Kategorie: Fachliteratur
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2018

Seitenzahl: 104

Beschreibung

Cut through the mental noise of modern life and move one step closer to true happiness The quest for perfection and the sheer volume of "noise" and guilt in modern life can be crushing on even the most put-together person. With Cut the Noise, author and popular keynote speaker Chris Helder will show you how to cut through the noise, release yourself from guilt and stop seeking perfection so that you can focus on what you really want and what really matters. Told through two fables, you'll learn how to cut out the things in your life that are not useful, deal with the obstacles that get in your way, prioritise what is really important and give yourself permission to make the most of every situation with less guilt. * See the world in a new way and move closer to what you really want by embracing the book's accessible principles * Move beyond guilt by learning key concepts, including that most of what we worry about will never happen * Clearly find out what is preventing your success so you can deal with it and focus on the things that truly matter * Follow the book's easy-to-read fable format and discover where to take your life from here For those who want to take back their lives from the constant noise and expectations of modern life, Cut the Noise is the important first step on the journey.

Leseprobe

First published in 2018 by John Wiley & Sons Australia, Ltd 42 McDougall St, Milton Qld 4064 Offce also in Melbourne

Typeset in 11/15 Sabon LT Std

© John Wiley & Sons Australia, Ltd 2018

The moral rights of the author have been asserted

All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the Australian Copyright Act 1968 (for example, a fair dealing for the purposes of study, research, criticism or review), no part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, communicated or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior written permission. All inquiries should be made to the publisher at the address above.

Cover design by Wiley

Cover image © ezume images/shutterstock

DisclaimerThe material in this publication is of the nature of general comment only, and does not represent professional advice. It is not intended to provide specific guidance for particular circumstances and it should not be relied on as the basis for any decision to take action or not take action on any matter which it covers. Readers should obtain professional advice where appropriate, before making any such decision. To the maximum extent permitted by law, the author and publisher disclaim all responsibility and liability to any person, arising directly or indirectly from any person taking or not taking action based on the information in this publication.

CONTENTS

About the author

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Part I Fables

1 No more guilt!

Key takeaways

Food for thought

2 Clear the stumbling blocks

Key takeaways

Food for thought

Part II Actions and anecdotes

3 Purpose: Guilt takes a backseat to purpose

Food for thought

4 Perfection: Real is better than perfect

Food for thought

5 Outcomes: We’ll see what we see

Food for thought

6 Identity: Core beliefs and identity

Identity and behaviour

Food for thought

7 Useful belief: The final step to cutting the noise

Food for thought

Conclusion

Bringing it all together

Advert

EULA

Guide

Cover

Table of Contents

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About the author

Chris Helder is a communication expert and master storyteller whose presentations have radically transformed how thousands of people worldwide communicate with clients, customers, colleagues, family, staff and teams. He has been a professional speaker for 16 years and has given some 2200 presentations around the world.

He is the author of two Wiley bestselling books: The Ultimate Book of Influence (2013), which has been published in five languages, and Useful Belief (2015), which is one of the highest selling Australian business books of all time.

Chris speaks at conferences in the areas of communication, influence, human potential, leadership and mastering the face-to-face customer experience.

Chris lives in Melbourne with his wife, Lucy, and their three boys, Jake, Billy and PJ.

Acknowledgements

There are so many people to thank that I could not possibly name everyone. It always amazes me that so many of the ideas I speak about come out of random conversations. Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to talk with me about your ideas and passion to make the world a better place.

Special thanks to Lucy Raymond at Wiley for your continued support as we publish our third book together.

Thanks to Duane Kelderman for discussing with me the idea of core beliefs. I look forward to continuing to work on and expand these ideas together. You worked with my father, and getting an email from you is so much like getting one from him. I miss him and I cherish your words.

Thanks to Penny Ryan, my assistant, for all your collaboration, sharing of ideas and passion for the business.

Thanks to my mother, Carol Dey, for the inspiration of your Operation Babylift story. Also, thank you for your inspiration every day of my life.

Of course, the biggest thank you of all to my beautiful family. You put up with my hectic schedule and make it work. I love all of you more than I can possibly put into words.

Introduction

There is so much mental noise in our world today. Never before have we had so many options — things to look up, think about, worry about and, most of all, feel guilty about. It’s really hard to be perfect.

Everyone else seems to be perfect, though. Everyone we know is smiling, laughing and partying, with a drink in their hand, or on holiday in some tropical paradise, parading the best version of their world for everyone to admire. It’s all so exciting — but of course nothing is really as perfect as it seems.

We glimpse other people’s lives through our phones and tablets. For the most part, we are genuinely happy for them. We want them to find love, to relish a family reunion, to celebrate a milestone with a great meal at a top restaurant. We are happy to share those moments with our friends. At the same time, we also like to be recognised for our own exciting life. It feels good when people like us. It feels good to be validated.

The problem is our life is not going to be perfect. In fact, there is often a big gap between reality and our projection of reality, and it is easy to feel a sense of guilt about not being able to bridge that gap.

In this media age, as people feel compelled to push out the best version of their lives to their friends and followers, this version can be a lot to live up to. We live in a world that is constantly barraging us with both information and the pressure of expectation in every area of our life, whether financial, business, relationship, parenting, family, friends or health.

Over the past 16 years I have presented to more than two thousand audiences on five continents. I have met countless people who are trying so hard to push through all the mental noise in their lives, to be the perfect parent, partner, husband, wife, employee or employer while at the same time staying perfectly fit and never ageing.

Much of this internal noise revolves around people’s feelings of guilt because they are unable to live up to these expectations. They are working late and feeling guilty for not being home with their family. Or they are managing a household and not finding time to keep fit and healthy. They try to juggle their time between work, home and fitness, but in the back of their minds they know their relationship is suffering because they are so constantly busy.

My goal in writing this book is to share with you some ideas that shed light on how our desire to be perfect often actually prevents us from having an outstanding life. I believe we need to focus on maximising every situation we are in.

Recently I was talking with a very good friend who shared with me his own story of guilt. It’s a game he has no possibility of winning. He likes to go to the gym at lunchtime. Every day at 11:30 he thinks about going to the gym. Some days he decides he is too busy to go, then he spends his lunch hour feeling guilty about his decision. On other days he decides he will go to the gym, but while working out he is constantly checking his phone. He feels he can’t focus on the workout, so once again he feels guilty about his decision.

I want to change this pattern that so many of us experience in one way or another. We have to stop beating ourselves up.

But how?

In this book I introduce an idea called ‘10 seconds of guilt … move on’. I hope you like it and can use it to help you enjoy your life more. It’s about acknowledging a feeling that is not useful and then quickly moving past this feeling. There are studies that suggest that more than 90 per cent of the things we worry over and feel bad about either will never happen or are things we cannot change.

This idea has really resonated with my Australian audiences. So many people, both men and women, have come up to me and shared their feelings of guilt around their aspiration to be perfect. Women have told me of their need to be a corporate powerhouse, domestic goddess, great mother, wonderful wife, perfect friend — and still find time to do yoga, work out at the gym and call their mother-in-law. It’s impossible!

Deluged by a media storm of news, fake news and social media messaging, we struggle to keep up. All that external noise creates a swirl of internal noise about what we should care about and how we should behave in our efforts to get it all right.

But the storm of information only convinces us of our many shortcomings. We must improve the quality of our lives, our business success, our health and fitness, our general happiness. Any failure to act makes us feel guilty. We need to lose weight, burn carbs, curb our sugar and salt intake, eat more superfoods! Sometimes it feels like the experts say one thing one year and contradict themselves the next. We are being marketed to so heavily it is driving us to overwhelm. The consistent message is that we must turn our lives around.

I hear a lot of motivational speakers at conferences seeking to convince their audience that they need to ‘transform’ themselves, to make massive changes in their lives. For most people, the prospect of personal transformation is overwhelming. In any case, the vast majority don’t want to be transformed. There are exceptions in every audience, but most people do not want to invest the necessary energy and commitment to double or triple their output. They simply want to get the most out of the life they have in a way that is realistic and achievable. People have a lot going on. And that’s okay.

My experience is that for most people useful, effective change is not about being transformed. Rather, it happens when people focus on a couple of things they want to adjust. When they are able to shift just a few of those stumbling blocks to their greater success, the trajectory of their lives and businesses changes dramatically.

I hope this book will help you identify some of the simple changes you can make to improve the quality of your life and to find the things you could start doing and stop doing to get there. Actually, you probably know what those things are already.

Cut the Noise begins with two fables (Part I) and goes on to explore some useful and I hope inspiring actions and anecdotes (Part II). I chose this format in part because I discovered through my previous book, Useful Belief, the power of fables in effectively communicating a message. Every reader will find ideas in this book they can usefully apply in their own life.

Our lives are made up of a patchwork of interactions with other human beings. In these two fables we hear a couple of conversations in which the speakers discuss their take on the challenges of life today.