Dad's Guide to Pregnancy For Dummies, UK Edition E-Book

Roger Henderson

• Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 497

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2011

Beschreibung

Practical, hands-on information for fathers-to-be

Dad’s Guide to Pregnancy For Dummies is packed with practical, straightforward information for fathers-to-be, covering all of the logistical, physical, and emotional aspects of pregnancy from a dad’s unique point of view.

When it comes to pregnancy, dads’ roles have changed so much in the past few decades that expectant fathers don’t always know where to turn to for guidance and advice on this milestone event. Now they do!

Dad’s Guide to Pregnancy For Dummies covers:

• What to expect at doctor’s visits
• Tips for being a supportive partner during pregnancy and preparing for fatherhood
• Advice on birth plans, labour and delivery, and the first days and weeks of a baby’s life

Packed with helpful information on the typical struggles and feelings expectant fathers face, Dad’s Guide to Pregnancy For Dummies gives first-time fathers and veteran dads alike a wealth of useful information.

Leseprobe

Dad’s Guide to Pregnancy For Dummies®

Visit www.dummies.com/cheatsheet/dadsguidetopregnancyuk to view this book's cheat sheet.

Table of Contents

Introduction

About This Book

Conventions Used in This Book

What You’re Not to Read

Foolish Assumptions

How This Book Is Organised

Part I: So You Want to Be a Dad . . .

Part II: Great Expectations: Nine Months and Counting

Part III: Game Time! Labour, Delivery and Baby’s Homecoming

Part IV: A Dad’s Guide to Worrying

Part V: The Part of Tens

Icons Used in This Book

Where to Go from Here

Part I: So You Want to Be a Dad . . .

Chapter 1: Fatherhood: A Glorious, Scary, Mind-Boggling and Amazing Experience

Looking at the Concept of Fatherhood

A father? Who, me?

Reacting to a life-changing event

Dealing with fears of fatherhood

Debunking a few myths about fatherhood

Becoming a Modern Dad

Changes in your personal life

Changes in your professional life

Lifestyle changes to consider

Deciding to Take the Plunge (Or Not)

Determining whether you’re ready

Telling your partner you’re ready

Telling your partner you’re not ready

Being patient when one of you is ready (and the other isn’t)

Dealing with an unexpected pregnancy

Welcoming long-awaited pregnancies

Glimpsing into the Pregnancy Process Ahead

First trimester

Second trimester

Third trimester

While You Were Gestating

Chapter 2: Beyond the Bed: Conception Basics

Understanding Conception

Baby-making basics

Conception statistics

Answering commonly asked questions about getting pregnant

Evaluating Health to Get Ready for Parenthood

Uncovering female health issues that impact conception

Recognising issues that cause fertility problems in men

Assessing lifestyle choices that affect eggs and sperm

Keeping Sex from Becoming a Chore

Choosing the best time for conception

Looking at do’s and don’ts for scheduling sex

Taking a Brief Yet Important Look at Infertility

Knowing the facts about infertility

Checking on potential problems when nothing’s happening

Working through it when your partner needs treatment

Exploring solutions when your sperm don’t stack up

Deciding how far to go to get pregnant

Sharing Your Decision to Have a Baby

Considering the pros and cons of spilling the beans

Handling unsolicited advice about reproduction

Part II: Great Expectations: Nine Months and Counting

Chapter 3: Surviving Sudden Doubts and Morning Sickness: The First Trimester

Baby on Board: It’s Official!

Reacting when your partner breaks the news

Making the announcement to friends and family

Overcoming your fears of being a father

Attending the first of many antenatal visits

Going to the first ultrasound

Baby’s Development during the First Trimester

He may not look like much now, but . . .

Amazing changes in weeks 7 to 12

Dealing with Possible Complications in the First Trimester

Miscarrying in early pregnancy

Understanding ectopic pregnancy

Coping with pregnancy loss

Common First Trimester Discomforts – Yours and Hers

Helping your partner cope with the symptoms of early pregnancy

Getting used to strange new maternal habits

Taking on your emerging support role

Chapter 4: Growing Into the Second Trimester

Tracking Baby’s Development during the Second Trimester

Growing and changing in months four and five

Refining touches in the sixth month

Checking Out Mum’s Development in the Second Trimester

Gaining weight healthily

Looking pregnant at last!

Testing in the Second Trimester

Preparing for the risks of tests and ultrasounds

Understanding blood test results

Following up on the test results

Scrutinising ultrasounds

Having Sex in the Second Trimester

Maintaining a healthy sex life during pregnancy

Addressing common myths and concerns

Exploring Different Options for Childbirth Classes

Chapter 5: The Fun Stuff: Nesting, Preparing and Naming

Preparing the Nursery and Home, or ‘Nesting’

Making the house spick and span – and then some

Setting up the nursery

Arranging the nursery for two or more

Baby-proofing basics

Understanding the Art of the Baby Kit-List

Doing your homework ahead of time to get exactly what you want

Finding out what you need – and what you think you won’t need but can’t live without!

Discovering three things you don’t have to have but will adore

Checking out five things you don’t have to have and will never adore

Naming Your Baby

Narrowing down your long list

Reconciling father/mother differences of opinion

Discussing choices with friends and family

Chapter 6: Expecting the Unexpected

Managing Pregnancy-Related Medical Issues

Pregnancy-induced hypertension

Gestational diabetes

Placenta praevia

Mandatory bed rest

Handling Abnormal Ultrasounds

Birth defects

Foetal demise

Preparing Yourself for Preterm Labour and Delivery

Recognising the risks of preterm delivery

Handling feelings of guilt

Navigating the NICU

Knowing what to expect with a premature baby

Clarifying common problems

Learning the ropes (and wires!)

Preparing for prem baby setbacks

Taking baby home

Hi, Baby Baby Baby: Having Multiples

Multiple identities: What multiples are and who has them

Health risks for mum

Risks for the babies

Chapter 7: In the Home Stretch: The Third Trimester

Tracking Baby’s Development during the Third Trimester

Adding pounds and maturing in the seventh and eighth months

Getting everything in place in the ninth month

Finding Out What Mum Goes Through in the Third Trimester

Understanding your partner’s physical changes

Heeding warning signs

Bracing yourself for your partner’s emotional changes

Sympathising with her desire to get this over with

Dealing with tears, panic and doubts

Whose Baby Is This, Anyway? Dealing with Overbearing Family Members

Chapter 8: The Co-Pilot’s Guide to Birthing Options

Choosing Where to Deliver

Delivering at a hospital

Exploring alternative options: Using a midwife at home

Looking at Labour Choices

Going all natural or getting the epidural

Taking it to the water

Creating a Birth Plan

Visualising your ideal experience

Drafting your plan

Sharing your birth plan with the world

Picking the Cast: Who’s Present, Who Visits and Who Gets a Call

Deciding who gets to attend the birth

Planning ahead for visitors

Planting a phone tree

Part III: Game Time! Labour, Delivery and Baby’s Homecoming

Chapter 9: Surviving Labour and Delivery

When It’s Time, It’s Time – Is It Time?

Avoiding numerous dry runs (yes, it’s us again)

Knowing when it’s too late to go

Supporting Your Partner during Labour

Figuring out how she wants to be supported

Not taking the insults seriously

Looking at What Happens during and after Labour

First stage

Second stage

Wrapping things up after the birth

Helping baby right after delivery

Undergoing Common Labour Procedures

Vaginal examinations

IVs

Membrane ruptures

Foetal monitoring

Coping with Labour Pain

Enduring it: Going natural

Dulling it: Sedation (no, not for you)

Blotting it out: Epidurals

Deviating From Your Birth Plan/Vision

Having a Caesarean

Scheduled caesareans

Unplanned caesarean delivery

What to expect before the operation

What to expect during the surgery

Getting past disappointment

Chapter 10: Caring for Your Newborn

Knowing What to Expect When Baby is Born

Looking at newborns

Rating the reflexes

Feeding a Newborn

Choosing to breastfeed

Bottle-feeding basics

Changing Nappies

Cleaning baby boys

Cleaning baby girls

Bathing Basics

Holding Your Baby

Co-sleeping Pros and Cons

Back to Sleep: Helping Baby Sleep Safely and Comfortably

Coping if baby hates being on her back

Swaddling your little one

Preventing the flat head look

Soothing Baby Indigestion

Colic

Wind

Reflux

Scheduling Immunisations

Skipping some injections?

Spreading them out

Chapter 11: Supporting the New Mum

Handling Housework during Recovery

Getting the house in order

Taking care of meals

Calling in back-up

Supporting a Breastfeeding Mum

Making the decision to breastfeed

Offering lactation support

Including yourself in the process

Dealing with Post-Caesarean Issues

Helping with a normal recovery

Knowing when to call the doctor

Riding the Ups and Downs of Hormones

Thinking before speaking in the sensitive postnatal period

Shedding light on physical symptoms

Supporting her baby blues

Recognising postnatal depression

Sleeping (Or Doing Without)

Coping with Company

Dealing with grabby grandmas

Managing unsolicited advice

Handling hurt feelings when you want to be alone

Approaching Sex: It’s Like Riding a Bicycle

Part IV: A Dad’s Guide to Worrying

Chapter 12: Dealing with Difficult Issues after Delivery

Coping with Serious Health Problems

Congenital defects

Developmental delays

Illnesses

SIDS

Watching Out for Postnatal Issues

Getting through the ‘baby blues’

Taking a look at postnatal depression

Acting fast to treat postnatal psychosis

Managing Grief

Going through the stages of grief

Why, why, why? Getting past the question

Grieving together and separately

Determining when grief has gone on for too long

Talking to Other People about Your Child

Telling other people

Handling insensitive remarks

Chapter 13: Daddy 999: Survival Tips for Bumps, Lumps and Scary Moments

Handling Inevitable Illnesses

Nursing baby through common childhood diseases

Staying alert for scarier diseases

Protecting Baby from Common Accidents and What to Do When They Happen

Taking care of baby after a fall

Staying safe in the car

Managing Medical Crises at Home

Don’t panic! Don’t panic!

Calling the doctor

Open Wide, Baby! Administering Medicine

Taking a Baby’s Temperature

Choosing a thermometer

Recognising fevers

Deciphering Nappy Contents

Knowing what’s normal

Checking out colour changes

Teething Symptoms and Remedies

Reacting to Medicines and Vaccines

Vaccination reactions – yours and your baby’s

Medications that cause reactions

Dealing with Food Allergies

Introducing new foods

Recognising allergic reactions

Preventing allergic reactions

Chapter 14: Time and Money: The High Cost of Having a Baby

Creating a New Work/Life Balance with Baby

Taking time off with paternity leave

Managing sick leave when you’re back at work

Dealing with after-work expectations

Reprioritising your commitments

Readjusting When and If Mum Goes Back to Work

Making going back to work easier on mum

Deciding to be a stay-at-home parent

Helping mum adjust if she doesn’t go back to work

Becoming a stay-at-home dad

Exploring the Expected (And Unexpected) Costs of Baby

Deciding what baby really needs

Bracing yourself for the costs of must-have baby supplies

Comparing childcare options and costs

Managing Your Money

Prioritising your needs

Determining where to cut costs

Chapter 15: Planning for Your New Family’s Future

Securing a Financially Sound Future

Prioritise your expenses

Create a budget (and stick to it)

Pay off your debt

Create an emergency fund

Set up a retirement account

Work with a financial advisor

Mind your credit rating

Saving Money for Your Child’s Education

Getting the Lowdown on Life Insurance

Making sure you and your partner have adequate life insurance

Considering a policy for your baby

Taking Care of Legal Matters

Creating a will

Establishing power of attorney

Part V: The Part of Tens

Chapter 16: Ten Things She Won’t Ask for but Will Expect

Keep It Complimentary

Start a Baby Book

Disguise Fitness as Fun

Curb Your Advice

Attend Antenatal Appointments

Plan a Getaway

Sign Up for an Antenatal Parenting Class

Do Your Homework and Spread the Word

Learn Antenatal Massage

Clean High and Low

Chapter 17: Ten Ways to Be a Super Dad from Day One

Overcome Fragility Fears

Trust Your Instincts

Bond Skin-to-Skin, Eye-to-Eye

Manage Frustrations

Embrace Your Silly Side

Get Out

Teach Baby New Tricks

Rough and Tumble the Safe Way

Read Aloud . . . and Not Just from Baby Books

Send Mum Away

Chapter 18: Ten Musts for the Stay-at-Home Dad

Practise Hands-Free Parenting

Start a Habits Log

Develop a Nap Routine

Walk and Talk

Get Your Music On

Nurture Independence

Relax When You Can

Personalise Your Business

Secure a Daytime Support System

Plan Lunches

Cheat Sheet

Dad’s Guide to Pregnancy For Dummies®

by Dr Roger Henderson, Matthew M. F. Miller and Sharon Perkins

Dad’s Guide to Pregnancy For Dummies®

Published byJohn Wiley & Sons, LtdThe AtriumSouthern GateChichesterWest SussexPO19 8SQEngland

E-mail (for orders and customer service enquires): [email protected]

Visit our Home Page on www.wiley.com

Copyright © 2012 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd, Chichester, West Sussex, England

Published by John Wiley & Sons, Ltd, Chichester, West Sussex

All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning or otherwise, except under the terms of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 or under the terms of a licence issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency Ltd, Saffron House, 6-10 Kirby Street, London EC1N 8TS, UK, without the permission in writing of the Publisher. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Ltd, The Atrium, Southern Gate, Chichester, West Sussex, PO19 8SQ, England, or emailed to [email protected], or faxed to (44) 1243 770620.

Trademarks: Wiley, the Wiley logo, For Dummies, the Dummies Man logo, A Reference for the Rest of Us!, The Dummies Way, Dummies Daily, The Fun and Easy Way, Dummies.com, Making Everything Easier, and related trade dress are trademarks or registered trademarks of John Wiley & Sons, Inc. and/or its affiliates in the United States and other countries, and may not be used without written permission. All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners. John Wiley & Sons, Inc. is not associated with any product or vendor mentioned in this book.

Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: The contents of this work are intended to further general scientific research, understanding, and discussion only and are not intended and should not be relied upon as recommending or promoting a specific method, diagnosis, or treatment by physicians for any particular patient. The publishe, the author, AND ANYONE ELSE INVOLVED IN PREPARING THIS WORK make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this work and specifically disclaim all warranties, including without limitation any implied warranties of fitness for a particular purpose. In view of ongoing research, equipment modifications, changes in governmental regulations, and the constant flow of information relating to the use of medicines, equipment, and devices, the reader is urged to review and evaluate the information provided in the package insert or instructions for each medicine, equipment, or device for, among other things, any changes in the instructions or indication of usage and for added warnings and precautions. Readers should consult with a specialist where appropriate. The fact that an organization or Website is referred to in this work as a citation and/or a potential source of further information does not mean that the author or the publisher endorses the information the organization or Website may provide or recommendations it may make. Further, readers should be aware that Internet Websites listed in this work may have changed or disappeared between when this work was written and when it is read. No warranty may be created or extended by any promotional statements for this work. Neither the publisher nor the author shall be liable for any damages arising herefrom.

For general information on our other products and services, please contact our Customer Care Department within the U.S. at 877-762-2974, outside the U.S. at 317-572-3993, or fax [phone].

For technical support, please visit www.wiley.com/techsupport.

Wiley also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some content that appears in print may not be available in electronic books.

ISBN 978-1-119-97660-8 (pbk); ISBN 978-1-119-97724-7 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-119-97725-4 (ebk);

Printed and bound in Great Britain by TJ International, Padstow, Cornwall

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

About the Authors

Dr Roger Henderson was born in 1960 and raised in Whitehaven, Cumbria. He qualified as a doctor from St Bartholomew’s Hospital, London in 1985 and as a general practitioner in 1990. He entered the media world in 1995, and is now one of the UK’s most respected media medics, writing regular columns for national newspapers and magazines. He is also a popular lecturer and after-dinner motivational speaker on a wide range of health-related topics and his medical responsibilities include being the senior partner of a six doctor general practice, running a main surgery and two busy branch surgeries. Married to a doctor, and with three teenage children, his spare time is spent thinking about how nice it would be to have some spare time.

Matthew M. F. Miller is a dad to one, an uncle to ten, and a ‘father’ to anyone who will listen to his countless nuggets of unsolicited advice. Author of the book Maybe Baby: An Infertile Love Story, Matthew is a graduate of the University of Southern California’s Master of Professional Writing program. Matthew lives in Chicago where he is a full-time work-at-home dad, providing childcare for his daughter while working as the health-and-wellness editor for a national newspaper syndicate. In his spare time (because there’s just so much of that!), Matthew is a musician, runner, tennis enthusiast and baker.

Sharon Perkins has never been a dad, but she’s had lots of experience on the mum side of parenting, with five children and three grandchildren. Almost 25 years as a registered nurse in fertility, labour and delivery, and neonatal intensive care have also taught her a thing or two about pregnancy and babies. Sharon lives in New Jersey with her husband but would live in Disney World if it were legal. The opportunity to write about what she does for a living has been a dream come true.

Dedication

From Roger: For Becky, Douglas, Sarah and Jack. Always.

From Matt: Whether writing this book, watching tennis, or taking a nap, I am inspired, awed and grateful for the love and support of my wife, Constance, and our beautiful daughter, Nola. Thank you for a charmed life.

From Sharon: This book is dedicated to my three grandchildren, Matthew, Emma and Jessica, who keep me current on what’s going on in the world of kids.

Authors’ Acknowledgments

From Matt: Writing about family takes a deep, rich understanding of what it means to be a good person, and I am grateful to my mom, dad, sisters, nieces, and nephews for teaching me how to be one. Also, a very special thanks to my favorite doula, Holly Barhamand, for teaching and empowering me to explore and educate myself about what childbirth means to me. As this is my first For Dummies tome, I am particularly grateful to the folks at Wiley, but also to Sharon herself. She took me under her wing and made this one of the most rewarding, fun experiences of my writing career. To my agent, Grace Freedson, you are a joy to work with and I look forward to the next amazing opportunity you bring my way. Finally, thank you to my wife and, most importantly, to our daughter, an IVF baby born after nearly three years of waiting. And although we waited a long time for you, every day since your birth has been counted among the best of my life.

From Sharon: Wiley took a chance on me with my first book, Fertility For Dummies, almost ten years ago, and I’ve been extremely grateful ever since. In particular, Lindsay Lefevere, Erin Mooney, Chrissy Guthrie, and Caitie Copple have been the usual pleasure to work with throughout this book’s creation. Matt Miller has been the easiest coauthor ever! From day one, our writing styles meshed, and this book just flowed. Thanks, Matt, for making this a piece of cake. And, last but not least, I thank my family for giving me so much raw material to work with over the years!

Publisher’s Acknowledgements

We’re proud of this book; please send us your comments through our Dummies online registration form located at www.dummies.com/register/.

Some of the people who helped bring this book to market include the following:

Commissioning, Editorial, and Media Development

Project Editor: Simon Bell

(Previous Edition: Christina Guthrie)

Acquisitions Editor: Mike Baker

Copy Editor: Kate O’ Leary

Technical Editor: Dr Klare Davis

Assistant Editor: Ben Kemble

Production Manager: Daniel Mersey

Publisher: David Palmer

Cover Photos: © iStock/Agnieszka Szymczak

Cartoons: Ed McLachlan

Composition Services

Project Coordinator: Kristie Rees

Layout and Graphics: Lavonne Roberts, Corrie Socolovitch

Proofreader: Lauren Mandelbaum

Indexer: Estalita Slivoskey

Publishing and Editorial for Consumer Dummies

Kathleen Nebenhaus, Vice President and Executive Publisher

Kristin Ferguson-Wagstaffe, Product Development Director

Ensley Eikenburg, Associate Publisher, Travel

Kelly Regan, Editorial Director, Travel

Publishing for Technology Dummies

Andy Cummings, Vice President and Publisher

Composition Services

Debbie Stailey, Director of Composition Services

Introduction

Welcome to impending fatherhood! Being a dad is better than you can ever imagine and far less scary than you’re probably believing it to be. One of the main reasons we wrote this book was to empower men to get actively involved in every aspect of the childbirth process, as well as the care, feeding and loving of newborns. Most dads-to-be have only a dim idea of what parenthood is going to be like, and their excitement mixes liberally with sheer terror and trepidation. We hope this book spares you some of that fear and trepidation by giving you the knowledge you need to feel confident.